WEBVTT - Do You Know Your True Value and Worth? (Part 2) (Outweigh)

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<v Speaker 1>I won't let my body out be outwait everything that

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<v Speaker 1>I'm made, don won't spend my life trying to change.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I

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<v Speaker 2>feel free, I know every pardon me, it's beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>And then will always out way.

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<v Speaker 2>If you feel it, but your hands in the air,

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<v Speaker 2>She'll some love to the view. I get there.

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<v Speaker 3>Take you one day?

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<v Speaker 2>Ana, did you and die out way?

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<v Speaker 3>Happy Saturday? Outweigh Amy here and I'm with Leanne. This

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<v Speaker 3>is week two of a self imaging series asking the

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<v Speaker 3>question do you know your true value and worth? Like?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you really know it?

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<v Speaker 3>And Leanne's helping us define what that looks like. Last

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<v Speaker 3>week we talked about self acceptance. This week we're talking

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<v Speaker 3>about self care. Week three will be self esteem, Week four,

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<v Speaker 3>self worth five, self Endorsement. So Lann, let's do this

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<v Speaker 3>week's self care.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so important in my opinion, to really define and

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<v Speaker 1>refine that definition and then align it with who you

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<v Speaker 1>want to be because so many times, I know, for me,

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<v Speaker 1>I was throwing out words like self worth and self

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<v Speaker 1>love and really not even knowing what they meant. So

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<v Speaker 1>that's what we're doing, is we're deep diving into these

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<v Speaker 1>five ingredients that I believe if you put them together

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<v Speaker 1>in a mixing bowl, you are going to feel true

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<v Speaker 1>worthiness down to your bones. And as we talked about

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<v Speaker 1>last week, it is this ongoing journey.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not a one and done.

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<v Speaker 1>We're really just here to get those wheels turning, get

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<v Speaker 1>those synapses firing in your brain so that you can

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<v Speaker 1>have an awareness, awareness that takes you down a different

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<v Speaker 1>trajectory if you are currently down that trajectory of not

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<v Speaker 1>necessarily knowing your worth. And so you know, self care

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<v Speaker 1>is kind of a buzzword. It has been for probably

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<v Speaker 1>ten years now, and a lot of times it's associated

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<v Speaker 1>with bubble baths and manicures, which, don't get me wrong,

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<v Speaker 1>I love me some bubble basm manicures.

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<v Speaker 2>You could hear the Tennessee and and me coming out now,

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<v Speaker 2>love me some.

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<v Speaker 1>But that being said, I feel like we leave so

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<v Speaker 1>much on the table when we don't account for this

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<v Speaker 1>true definition. And honestly, I equate self care with health,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, and really needing to redefine what health is

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<v Speaker 1>because if you're anything like me and you learn this

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<v Speaker 1>definition of health where it's this whole eat less move

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<v Speaker 1>more thought process, or like you know, white knuckle your

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<v Speaker 1>way through it and then the counting, the measuring all

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<v Speaker 1>of that. Or for me too, my definition of healthy

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<v Speaker 1>equated to chasing skinny, which anybody who's led with that

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<v Speaker 1>probably knows how unhealthy that can lead you down roads

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<v Speaker 1>of as well. But that being said, we really need

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<v Speaker 1>to redefine health if we're going to talk about this

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<v Speaker 1>definition of self care, and so to me, this definition

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<v Speaker 1>of health and self care needs to be this three dimensional,

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<v Speaker 1>really like nervous system driven conversation where it's taking care

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<v Speaker 1>of your brain, your head, your heart, your nervous system.

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<v Speaker 2>And honestly, a lot of times this.

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<v Speaker 1>Lead people think they immediately go to the physical side

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<v Speaker 1>of it, But I believe that's where if we don't

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<v Speaker 1>start with the mental, emotional and even spiritual side of it,

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<v Speaker 1>the physical stuff really can can tend to go out

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<v Speaker 1>the windows. So part of it is first and foremost

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<v Speaker 1>looking at it as this three dimensional mental, emotional and

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<v Speaker 1>physical conversation. But I truly believe that if you start

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<v Speaker 1>at the mental emotional side of it and have like

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<v Speaker 1>essentially a self care plan for that and ways that

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<v Speaker 1>you process, and you're emotionally available to yourself and you're

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<v Speaker 1>gaining the tools for that the physical stuff as well.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, obviously you need to up level your commitment

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<v Speaker 1>on that side of it too, if it's if it's

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<v Speaker 1>lacking in that department. But I truly believe you're going

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<v Speaker 1>to be better served if you flip it on its

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<v Speaker 1>head and start with the mental emotional side of it.

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<v Speaker 1>And obviously there's so many different ways to do that.

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<v Speaker 1>There's no one recipe. It's such a personal equation. But

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<v Speaker 1>that's the first thing I wanted to lead with, is

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<v Speaker 1>redefining health and redefining self care because then you can

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<v Speaker 1>look at it of like, okay, now self care becomes

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<v Speaker 1>this conversation of what do I need right now to

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<v Speaker 1>be my optimal self? And what you need when you

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<v Speaker 1>are stressed and you have kids that have the flu

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<v Speaker 1>and you're, you know, do juggling a thousand different things

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<v Speaker 1>might be very different that when you have all this

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<v Speaker 1>extra time and you can prioritize your physical health care

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<v Speaker 1>or for physical self care. And what happens is when

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<v Speaker 1>we don't acknowledge those things and again we're just focused

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<v Speaker 1>on the physical, the mental emotional stuff goes out the window.

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<v Speaker 1>And then when the mental emotional stuff feels kind of

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<v Speaker 1>haired or frazzled, the physical stuff goes out the window.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's why I think we really need to change

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<v Speaker 1>our definitions and really redefine. I'm giving you mine, but

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<v Speaker 1>I invite you as you're listening to create your own,

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<v Speaker 1>Like what is my definition of health and what does

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<v Speaker 1>it need to be to really cater to all of me?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, from this headheart, mind, brain side of it,

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<v Speaker 1>leading all the way down to physical and backup, Like

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<v Speaker 1>it's this ever, never ending kind of cycle.

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<v Speaker 3>When I was in therapy, probably it was twenty twenty

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<v Speaker 3>doing some stuff like as a family, and this particular

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<v Speaker 3>therapist was a psychotherapist out of Colorado, and he was

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<v Speaker 3>so focused on mind body spirit connection and he like,

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<v Speaker 3>all of this is a waste of time if you're

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<v Speaker 3>not connected mind body spirit, like waste of my time.

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<v Speaker 3>And I thought, oh okay. So he really challenged us

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<v Speaker 3>to tap in to that and have a full blown

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<v Speaker 3>mind body spirit connection during our process of healing or

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<v Speaker 3>trying to work through some stuff that eventually led to healing.

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<v Speaker 3>It had never been presented to me that way in

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<v Speaker 3>therapy before and after I went through and intensive we

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<v Speaker 3>did like a five week intensive with him, and I

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<v Speaker 3>understood why he was so focused on that the entire time.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and if you think about it, like when you

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<v Speaker 1>are just singularly focused on like a typical eat less

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<v Speaker 1>move more conversational, we'll focus on like what am I eating?

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<v Speaker 1>What am I putting in my body? And how am

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<v Speaker 1>I moving my body? When you think about that, when

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<v Speaker 1>you're like life is butterflies and roses and everything's great, like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you're on point, you're you're getting to the gym, you're

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<v Speaker 1>doing walks, you're grocery shopping, you're whatever. But then when

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<v Speaker 1>your mental, emotional, spiritual health goes down the window, that's

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<v Speaker 1>when you stop taking care of your physical body, especially

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<v Speaker 1>if you have a belief of like, oh, when I'm stressed,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have time for that, right, and especially if

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<v Speaker 1>what it takes for you to take care of your

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<v Speaker 1>body is such a tremendous amount of effort, time and care,

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<v Speaker 1>it goes out the windows. So I think when we

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<v Speaker 1>go to set air quotes health and self care goals

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<v Speaker 1>from the former definition of health, we think of it

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<v Speaker 1>in this bubble of oh, when I'm motivated, I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to set these goals and everything's going to be great,

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<v Speaker 1>But why doesn't this work for me when life isn't

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<v Speaker 1>going great? And I think we should not to be

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<v Speaker 1>kind of skeptical and cynical, but we should start there, like,

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<v Speaker 1>what does my life look like when I have zero time,

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<v Speaker 1>zero energy, zero you know, capacity in bandwidth? And what

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<v Speaker 1>do I really need in those moments? Because telling me

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<v Speaker 1>to go to the gym and you know, pump iron

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<v Speaker 1>and you know, eat a kale salad or whatever people

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<v Speaker 1>tell themselves is not going to sit and you're not

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<v Speaker 1>going to even do it, and then it's going to

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<v Speaker 1>go in the category of great.

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<v Speaker 2>There's one more thing I'm failing at. So I really

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<v Speaker 2>think we need to because it's not a failure. That's right.

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<v Speaker 3>That's because it's literally not a failure. It makes me

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<v Speaker 3>think of exactly what Brene Brown has said at times

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<v Speaker 3>with her family and how she divides one hundred percent

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<v Speaker 3>with her husband. It looks different depending on what is

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<v Speaker 3>going on that week. There may be some days where

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<v Speaker 3>she's able to give a eighty percent and her husband

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<v Speaker 3>can only give twenty. She's able to give, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>thirty percent, and he's like, okay, you know what I

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<v Speaker 3>can come in and fill in the seventy or there.

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<v Speaker 3>Some days where she's like, dude, I only have twenty

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<v Speaker 3>percent and he's like, yeah, me too, And they go

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<v Speaker 3>to the drawing board to see how are we going

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<v Speaker 3>to survive this day, this week if we're both only

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<v Speaker 3>at forty percent total. And that's a partnership. Some people

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<v Speaker 3>you're navigating it alone. So then you're like, okay, well

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<v Speaker 3>now I'm only at twenty percent and I have nobody

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<v Speaker 3>to even give me another twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or

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<v Speaker 3>eighty percent to equal out to one hundred. But they

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<v Speaker 3>have a strategy, they have a plan as a family

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<v Speaker 3>when they have those moments. I heard her say, she's like,

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<v Speaker 3>if I've got produce in the fridge, I throw it

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<v Speaker 3>in the freezer so it doesn't go bad because I

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<v Speaker 3>know I'm not going to cook it. I don't have

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<v Speaker 3>the bandwidth. We figure out our favorite takeout places boom.

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<v Speaker 3>We know we're going to be fed and nourished and

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<v Speaker 3>feel good about that, and we take care of what

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<v Speaker 3>we need to take care of so that they survive

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<v Speaker 3>that day or again that week, or who knows, maybe

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<v Speaker 3>it's even a month or a couple of months. I

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<v Speaker 3>think pregaming is important. Having a blueprint and a plan

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<v Speaker 3>of what that looks like for you is super important.

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<v Speaker 3>And also what came to mind when you were talking

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<v Speaker 3>is I've been doing meditation this year for the first time,

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<v Speaker 3>and so many people that I do guided meditations with,

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<v Speaker 3>or I'll watch different videos they have up on YouTube

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<v Speaker 3>or whatever, and they say, if you think your day

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<v Speaker 3>is too hectic for meditation and it's too crazy, which

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<v Speaker 3>I get it, maybe it will be. I'm just telling

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<v Speaker 3>you what they say because it is interesting to think about.

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<v Speaker 2>It this way.

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<v Speaker 3>They're like, that's exactly the day you need to meditate.

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<v Speaker 2>Like if you think.

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<v Speaker 3>You're doubles double it right, if you think you don't

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<v Speaker 3>have time for it, or you're telling yourself I don't

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<v Speaker 3>have time for that, then that's exactly when you need

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<v Speaker 3>to sit down and do it more. And so just

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<v Speaker 3>asking yourself that question or being like, okay, am I

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<v Speaker 3>saying I don't have time for this, and would it

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<v Speaker 3>serve me better if I were to pause instead of

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<v Speaker 3>running around frazzle to hectic, busy, all the things, whatever,

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<v Speaker 3>Can I pause right now and do something for my

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<v Speaker 3>mind and my body and my spirit to resettle, so

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<v Speaker 3>that way, if you do need to come up with

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<v Speaker 3>a plan, you're in a more calm space.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, you just dropped so many wisdom bombs, but one

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<v Speaker 1>of the golden nuggets that you first said is this

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<v Speaker 1>concept of a partnership, and that really comes down to

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<v Speaker 1>your beliefs about your body too, and your health and

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<v Speaker 1>your self care. Because if you feel like your health

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<v Speaker 1>and self care is a burden, or maybe you're for

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<v Speaker 1>many years, I was in a war with my body.

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<v Speaker 1>It was something I needed to punish or I resented it.

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<v Speaker 1>And so part of it too with the self care conversation,

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<v Speaker 1>is like acknowledging, like, no, my body, my brain, my

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<v Speaker 1>well being, we are partners in crime for the rest

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<v Speaker 1>of my life, whether I like it or not.

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<v Speaker 2>So what if I waive that white flag.

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<v Speaker 1>And got on board and created partnership and union with

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<v Speaker 1>my body and then entered into those conversations. I think

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<v Speaker 1>people don't realize often that they are unknowingly in a

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<v Speaker 1>conversation where they're kind of at war or like on

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<v Speaker 1>opposing sides with their health and their body. And so

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<v Speaker 1>even that mental shift of entering into a partnership. But

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<v Speaker 1>you also touched on the belief of it's the number

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<v Speaker 1>one belief I hear with my clients about self care

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<v Speaker 1>is when stress goes up, I don't have time for

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<v Speaker 1>self care and what that needs to be and I

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<v Speaker 1>use that word needs like very mindfully. But what would

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<v Speaker 1>serve us best would be actually when stress goes up,

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<v Speaker 1>like you were saying the meditation example, when stress goes up,

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<v Speaker 1>self care, mental emotional self care needs to go up

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<v Speaker 1>because all these people and things that are in line

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<v Speaker 1>to get my time, my attention, my thought, my care,

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<v Speaker 1>they need me to be my best self. And then

0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:52.679
<v Speaker 1>what happens if you're not. Then you resent people, you

0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:55.440
<v Speaker 1>resent yourself, you're not the best version of yourself, and

0:10:55.440 --> 0:10:57.720
<v Speaker 1>then you're numbing out and the time goes to things

0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:00.959
<v Speaker 1>like numbing out. So it really is the awareness of

0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:05.040
<v Speaker 1>and redefining what is health, redefining what needs to happen

0:11:05.080 --> 0:11:09.680
<v Speaker 1>when stress hits, Redefining like this separation or divide between

0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:11.440
<v Speaker 1>you and your body and your health and getting on

0:11:11.480 --> 0:11:14.439
<v Speaker 1>the same team, creating partnership. But then also seeing it's

0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:17.480
<v Speaker 1>a three dimensional conversation that honestly, if you're leaving your

0:11:17.679 --> 0:11:21.280
<v Speaker 1>your mind, body spirit conversation and the mind heart and

0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:22.120
<v Speaker 1>spirit side.

0:11:21.920 --> 0:11:25.520
<v Speaker 2>Of it is left like to the gods, you know.

0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:29.120
<v Speaker 1>Then you're leaving the majority, in my opinion, the majority

0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:32.960
<v Speaker 1>of your what you truly need for optimal health on

0:11:33.040 --> 0:11:35.000
<v Speaker 1>the table and it's not getting attended to.

0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:36.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:39.200
<v Speaker 3>I use the meditation as an example, and it may

0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:41.760
<v Speaker 3>be like, Okay, I think some of the videos are

0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:43.480
<v Speaker 3>the people that I've been watching, They're like, that means

0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:45.560
<v Speaker 3>you need to do an hour. Okay, reality is you

0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:48.880
<v Speaker 3>may not have an hour. But what if when you're

0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:52.559
<v Speaker 3>driving you do breath work. What if on your lunch

0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:56.360
<v Speaker 3>break at work you go outside in the beautiful fall

0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:58.880
<v Speaker 3>weather depending on where you live, and get a little

0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:01.600
<v Speaker 3>vitamin D and go on a five minute walk with nature,

0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:07.800
<v Speaker 3>no earbuds, no people, nothing, but just taking that five minutes.

0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:12.120
<v Speaker 3>It doesn't have to be something really crazy or a

0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:14.720
<v Speaker 3>huge time commitment to get you there. And I know

0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:19.199
<v Speaker 3>when I was in my super unhealthy ways or patterns

0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:22.240
<v Speaker 3>that I actually defined as healthy at the time, I

0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:24.840
<v Speaker 3>would have thought, oh, well, if I can't go to

0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:27.000
<v Speaker 3>this class at the gym, or I can't commit to

0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:31.360
<v Speaker 3>this hour workout, or I can't cook all this food

0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:34.880
<v Speaker 3>that I wanted to cook. Then suddenly I just I collapse,

0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:36.960
<v Speaker 3>like I sort of just I picturing like myself just

0:12:37.040 --> 0:12:39.400
<v Speaker 3>falling inward and being like, Okay, I give up. You

0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:42.240
<v Speaker 3>talked about waving the white flag. I was sort of

0:12:42.400 --> 0:12:45.199
<v Speaker 3>waving a different flag of the surrender. But I was

0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:47.800
<v Speaker 3>surrendering to the wrong thing. And what you're talking about

0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:51.720
<v Speaker 3>is surrendering to the thing that's actually going to give

0:12:51.760 --> 0:12:55.720
<v Speaker 3>you more life and add to this journey of knowing

0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:58.880
<v Speaker 3>your true value, knowing your true worth and giving yourself

0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:03.119
<v Speaker 3>the capacity to get there. So last week self acceptance

0:13:03.200 --> 0:13:06.559
<v Speaker 3>into this week self care. I'm excited for the next

0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:09.360
<v Speaker 3>three weeks for self esteem, self worth, and self endorsement.

0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:12.600
<v Speaker 3>And speaking of self endorsement in a different way, Leanne,

0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:13.560
<v Speaker 3>where can people find you?

0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:16.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, everything that you need to know is over on

0:13:16.320 --> 0:13:20.440
<v Speaker 1>Liannellington dot com. I'm also Leanne Ellington over on Instagram,

0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:22.400
<v Speaker 1>And if you want to take a deep dive into

0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:24.959
<v Speaker 1>the female brain and self image, you can check out

0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:26.600
<v Speaker 1>my masterclass over there as well.

0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:29.360
<v Speaker 3>Awesome and then What's God Got to Do With It?

0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:33.560
<v Speaker 3>A podcast of Lian's that loads up every Tuesday and

0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:37.680
<v Speaker 3>over on socials. I am at Radio Amy and we'll

0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:48.080
<v Speaker 3>see you next Saturday, Bye bye