Speaker 1: I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
Speaker 1: I'm made, don won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2: I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I
Speaker 2: feel free, I know every pardon me, it's beautiful.
Speaker 1: And then will always out way.
Speaker 2: If you feel it, but your hands in the air,
Speaker 2: She'll some love to the view. I get there.
Speaker 3: Take you one day?
Speaker 2: Ana, did you and die out way?
Speaker 3: Happy Saturday? Outweigh Amy here and I'm with Leanne. This
Speaker 3: is week two of a self imaging series asking the
Speaker 3: question do you know your true value and worth? Like?
Speaker 2: Do you really know it?
Speaker 3: And Leanne's helping us define what that looks like. Last
Speaker 3: week we talked about self acceptance. This week we're talking
Speaker 3: about self care. Week three will be self esteem, Week four,
Speaker 3: self worth five, self Endorsement. So Lann, let's do this
Speaker 3: week's self care.
Speaker 1: It's so important in my opinion, to really define and
Speaker 1: refine that definition and then align it with who you
Speaker 1: want to be because so many times, I know, for me,
Speaker 1: I was throwing out words like self worth and self
Speaker 1: love and really not even knowing what they meant. So
Speaker 1: that's what we're doing, is we're deep diving into these
Speaker 1: five ingredients that I believe if you put them together
Speaker 1: in a mixing bowl, you are going to feel true
Speaker 1: worthiness down to your bones. And as we talked about
Speaker 1: last week, it is this ongoing journey.
Speaker 2: It's not a one and done.
Speaker 1: We're really just here to get those wheels turning, get
Speaker 1: those synapses firing in your brain so that you can
Speaker 1: have an awareness, awareness that takes you down a different
Speaker 1: trajectory if you are currently down that trajectory of not
Speaker 1: necessarily knowing your worth. And so you know, self care
Speaker 1: is kind of a buzzword. It has been for probably
Speaker 1: ten years now, and a lot of times it's associated
Speaker 1: with bubble baths and manicures, which, don't get me wrong,
Speaker 1: I love me some bubble basm manicures.
Speaker 2: You could hear the Tennessee and and me coming out now,
Speaker 2: love me some.
Speaker 1: But that being said, I feel like we leave so
Speaker 1: much on the table when we don't account for this
Speaker 1: true definition. And honestly, I equate self care with health,
Speaker 1: you know, and really needing to redefine what health is
Speaker 1: because if you're anything like me and you learn this
Speaker 1: definition of health where it's this whole eat less move
Speaker 1: more thought process, or like you know, white knuckle your
Speaker 1: way through it and then the counting, the measuring all
Speaker 1: of that. Or for me too, my definition of healthy
Speaker 1: equated to chasing skinny, which anybody who's led with that
Speaker 1: probably knows how unhealthy that can lead you down roads
Speaker 1: of as well. But that being said, we really need
Speaker 1: to redefine health if we're going to talk about this
Speaker 1: definition of self care, and so to me, this definition
Speaker 1: of health and self care needs to be this three dimensional,
Speaker 1: really like nervous system driven conversation where it's taking care
Speaker 1: of your brain, your head, your heart, your nervous system.
Speaker 2: And honestly, a lot of times this.
Speaker 1: Lead people think they immediately go to the physical side
Speaker 1: of it, But I believe that's where if we don't
Speaker 1: start with the mental, emotional and even spiritual side of it,
Speaker 1: the physical stuff really can can tend to go out
Speaker 1: the windows. So part of it is first and foremost
Speaker 1: looking at it as this three dimensional mental, emotional and
Speaker 1: physical conversation. But I truly believe that if you start
Speaker 1: at the mental emotional side of it and have like
Speaker 1: essentially a self care plan for that and ways that
Speaker 1: you process, and you're emotionally available to yourself and you're
Speaker 1: gaining the tools for that the physical stuff as well.
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously you need to up level your commitment
Speaker 1: on that side of it too, if it's if it's
Speaker 1: lacking in that department. But I truly believe you're going
Speaker 1: to be better served if you flip it on its
Speaker 1: head and start with the mental emotional side of it.
Speaker 1: And obviously there's so many different ways to do that.
Speaker 1: There's no one recipe. It's such a personal equation. But
Speaker 1: that's the first thing I wanted to lead with, is
Speaker 1: redefining health and redefining self care because then you can
Speaker 1: look at it of like, okay, now self care becomes
Speaker 1: this conversation of what do I need right now to
Speaker 1: be my optimal self? And what you need when you
Speaker 1: are stressed and you have kids that have the flu
Speaker 1: and you're, you know, do juggling a thousand different things
Speaker 1: might be very different that when you have all this
Speaker 1: extra time and you can prioritize your physical health care
Speaker 1: or for physical self care. And what happens is when
Speaker 1: we don't acknowledge those things and again we're just focused
Speaker 1: on the physical, the mental emotional stuff goes out the window.
Speaker 1: And then when the mental emotional stuff feels kind of
Speaker 1: haired or frazzled, the physical stuff goes out the window.
Speaker 1: So that's why I think we really need to change
Speaker 1: our definitions and really redefine. I'm giving you mine, but
Speaker 1: I invite you as you're listening to create your own,
Speaker 1: Like what is my definition of health and what does
Speaker 1: it need to be to really cater to all of me?
Speaker 1: You know, from this headheart, mind, brain side of it,
Speaker 1: leading all the way down to physical and backup, Like
Speaker 1: it's this ever, never ending kind of cycle.
Speaker 3: When I was in therapy, probably it was twenty twenty
Speaker 3: doing some stuff like as a family, and this particular
Speaker 3: therapist was a psychotherapist out of Colorado, and he was
Speaker 3: so focused on mind body spirit connection and he like,
Speaker 3: all of this is a waste of time if you're
Speaker 3: not connected mind body spirit, like waste of my time.
Speaker 3: And I thought, oh okay. So he really challenged us
Speaker 3: to tap in to that and have a full blown
Speaker 3: mind body spirit connection during our process of healing or
Speaker 3: trying to work through some stuff that eventually led to healing.
Speaker 3: It had never been presented to me that way in
Speaker 3: therapy before and after I went through and intensive we
Speaker 3: did like a five week intensive with him, and I
Speaker 3: understood why he was so focused on that the entire time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and if you think about it, like when you
Speaker 1: are just singularly focused on like a typical eat less
Speaker 1: move more conversational, we'll focus on like what am I eating?
Speaker 1: What am I putting in my body? And how am
Speaker 1: I moving my body? When you think about that, when
Speaker 1: you're like life is butterflies and roses and everything's great, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're on point, you're you're getting to the gym, you're
Speaker 1: doing walks, you're grocery shopping, you're whatever. But then when
Speaker 1: your mental, emotional, spiritual health goes down the window, that's
Speaker 1: when you stop taking care of your physical body, especially
Speaker 1: if you have a belief of like, oh, when I'm stressed,
Speaker 1: I don't have time for that, right, and especially if
Speaker 1: what it takes for you to take care of your
Speaker 1: body is such a tremendous amount of effort, time and care,
Speaker 1: it goes out the windows. So I think when we
Speaker 1: go to set air quotes health and self care goals
Speaker 1: from the former definition of health, we think of it
Speaker 1: in this bubble of oh, when I'm motivated, I'm going
Speaker 1: to set these goals and everything's going to be great,
Speaker 1: But why doesn't this work for me when life isn't
Speaker 1: going great? And I think we should not to be
Speaker 1: kind of skeptical and cynical, but we should start there, like,
Speaker 1: what does my life look like when I have zero time,
Speaker 1: zero energy, zero you know, capacity in bandwidth? And what
Speaker 1: do I really need in those moments? Because telling me
Speaker 1: to go to the gym and you know, pump iron
Speaker 1: and you know, eat a kale salad or whatever people
Speaker 1: tell themselves is not going to sit and you're not
Speaker 1: going to even do it, and then it's going to
Speaker 1: go in the category of great.
Speaker 2: There's one more thing I'm failing at. So I really
Speaker 2: think we need to because it's not a failure. That's right.
Speaker 3: That's because it's literally not a failure. It makes me
Speaker 3: think of exactly what Brene Brown has said at times
Speaker 3: with her family and how she divides one hundred percent
Speaker 3: with her husband. It looks different depending on what is
Speaker 3: going on that week. There may be some days where
Speaker 3: she's able to give a eighty percent and her husband
Speaker 3: can only give twenty. She's able to give, you know,
Speaker 3: thirty percent, and he's like, okay, you know what I
Speaker 3: can come in and fill in the seventy or there.
Speaker 3: Some days where she's like, dude, I only have twenty
Speaker 3: percent and he's like, yeah, me too, And they go
Speaker 3: to the drawing board to see how are we going
Speaker 3: to survive this day, this week if we're both only
Speaker 3: at forty percent total. And that's a partnership. Some people
Speaker 3: you're navigating it alone. So then you're like, okay, well
Speaker 3: now I'm only at twenty percent and I have nobody
Speaker 3: to even give me another twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or
Speaker 3: eighty percent to equal out to one hundred. But they
Speaker 3: have a strategy, they have a plan as a family
Speaker 3: when they have those moments. I heard her say, she's like,
Speaker 3: if I've got produce in the fridge, I throw it
Speaker 3: in the freezer so it doesn't go bad because I
Speaker 3: know I'm not going to cook it. I don't have
Speaker 3: the bandwidth. We figure out our favorite takeout places boom.
Speaker 3: We know we're going to be fed and nourished and
Speaker 3: feel good about that, and we take care of what
Speaker 3: we need to take care of so that they survive
Speaker 3: that day or again that week, or who knows, maybe
Speaker 3: it's even a month or a couple of months. I
Speaker 3: think pregaming is important. Having a blueprint and a plan
Speaker 3: of what that looks like for you is super important.
Speaker 3: And also what came to mind when you were talking
Speaker 3: is I've been doing meditation this year for the first time,
Speaker 3: and so many people that I do guided meditations with,
Speaker 3: or I'll watch different videos they have up on YouTube
Speaker 3: or whatever, and they say, if you think your day
Speaker 3: is too hectic for meditation and it's too crazy, which
Speaker 3: I get it, maybe it will be. I'm just telling
Speaker 3: you what they say because it is interesting to think about.
Speaker 2: It this way.
Speaker 3: They're like, that's exactly the day you need to meditate.
Speaker 2: Like if you think.
Speaker 3: You're doubles double it right, if you think you don't
Speaker 3: have time for it, or you're telling yourself I don't
Speaker 3: have time for that, then that's exactly when you need
Speaker 3: to sit down and do it more. And so just
Speaker 3: asking yourself that question or being like, okay, am I
Speaker 3: saying I don't have time for this, and would it
Speaker 3: serve me better if I were to pause instead of
Speaker 3: running around frazzle to hectic, busy, all the things, whatever,
Speaker 3: Can I pause right now and do something for my
Speaker 3: mind and my body and my spirit to resettle, so
Speaker 3: that way, if you do need to come up with
Speaker 3: a plan, you're in a more calm space.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, you just dropped so many wisdom bombs, but one
Speaker 1: of the golden nuggets that you first said is this
Speaker 1: concept of a partnership, and that really comes down to
Speaker 1: your beliefs about your body too, and your health and
Speaker 1: your self care. Because if you feel like your health
Speaker 1: and self care is a burden, or maybe you're for
Speaker 1: many years, I was in a war with my body.
Speaker 1: It was something I needed to punish or I resented it.
Speaker 1: And so part of it too with the self care conversation,
Speaker 1: is like acknowledging, like, no, my body, my brain, my
Speaker 1: well being, we are partners in crime for the rest
Speaker 1: of my life, whether I like it or not.
Speaker 2: So what if I waive that white flag.
Speaker 1: And got on board and created partnership and union with
Speaker 1: my body and then entered into those conversations. I think
Speaker 1: people don't realize often that they are unknowingly in a
Speaker 1: conversation where they're kind of at war or like on
Speaker 1: opposing sides with their health and their body. And so
Speaker 1: even that mental shift of entering into a partnership. But
Speaker 1: you also touched on the belief of it's the number
Speaker 1: one belief I hear with my clients about self care
Speaker 1: is when stress goes up, I don't have time for
Speaker 1: self care and what that needs to be and I
Speaker 1: use that word needs like very mindfully. But what would
Speaker 1: serve us best would be actually when stress goes up,
Speaker 1: like you were saying the meditation example, when stress goes up,
Speaker 1: self care, mental emotional self care needs to go up
Speaker 1: because all these people and things that are in line
Speaker 1: to get my time, my attention, my thought, my care,
Speaker 1: they need me to be my best self. And then
Speaker 1: what happens if you're not. Then you resent people, you
Speaker 1: resent yourself, you're not the best version of yourself, and
Speaker 1: then you're numbing out and the time goes to things
Speaker 1: like numbing out. So it really is the awareness of
Speaker 1: and redefining what is health, redefining what needs to happen
Speaker 1: when stress hits, Redefining like this separation or divide between
Speaker 1: you and your body and your health and getting on
Speaker 1: the same team, creating partnership. But then also seeing it's
Speaker 1: a three dimensional conversation that honestly, if you're leaving your
Speaker 1: your mind, body spirit conversation and the mind heart and
Speaker 1: spirit side.
Speaker 2: Of it is left like to the gods, you know.
Speaker 1: Then you're leaving the majority, in my opinion, the majority
Speaker 1: of your what you truly need for optimal health on
Speaker 1: the table and it's not getting attended to.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I use the meditation as an example, and it may
Speaker 3: be like, Okay, I think some of the videos are
Speaker 3: the people that I've been watching, They're like, that means
Speaker 3: you need to do an hour. Okay, reality is you
Speaker 3: may not have an hour. But what if when you're
Speaker 3: driving you do breath work. What if on your lunch
Speaker 3: break at work you go outside in the beautiful fall
Speaker 3: weather depending on where you live, and get a little
Speaker 3: vitamin D and go on a five minute walk with nature,
Speaker 3: no earbuds, no people, nothing, but just taking that five minutes.
Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be something really crazy or a
Speaker 3: huge time commitment to get you there. And I know
Speaker 3: when I was in my super unhealthy ways or patterns
Speaker 3: that I actually defined as healthy at the time, I
Speaker 3: would have thought, oh, well, if I can't go to
Speaker 3: this class at the gym, or I can't commit to
Speaker 3: this hour workout, or I can't cook all this food
Speaker 3: that I wanted to cook. Then suddenly I just I collapse,
Speaker 3: like I sort of just I picturing like myself just
Speaker 3: falling inward and being like, Okay, I give up. You
Speaker 3: talked about waving the white flag. I was sort of
Speaker 3: waving a different flag of the surrender. But I was
Speaker 3: surrendering to the wrong thing. And what you're talking about
Speaker 3: is surrendering to the thing that's actually going to give
Speaker 3: you more life and add to this journey of knowing
Speaker 3: your true value, knowing your true worth and giving yourself
Speaker 3: the capacity to get there. So last week self acceptance
Speaker 3: into this week self care. I'm excited for the next
Speaker 3: three weeks for self esteem, self worth, and self endorsement.
Speaker 3: And speaking of self endorsement in a different way, Leanne,
Speaker 3: where can people find you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, everything that you need to know is over on
Speaker 1: Liannellington dot com. I'm also Leanne Ellington over on Instagram,
Speaker 1: And if you want to take a deep dive into
Speaker 1: the female brain and self image, you can check out
Speaker 1: my masterclass over there as well.
Speaker 3: Awesome and then What's God Got to Do With It?
Speaker 3: A podcast of Lian's that loads up every Tuesday and
Speaker 3: over on socials. I am at Radio Amy and we'll
Speaker 3: see you next Saturday, Bye bye