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Speaker 1: Okayop oh yo with Sam John.

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Speaker 2: Guess who's back?

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Speaker 3: Who's back with another episode of okay Opy? All right,

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Speaker 3: okay Opy? So this is uh you jet set four

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Speaker 3: fifty nine. Ah, I guess he's jet setting around the

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Speaker 3: world today. I eft up by trying to redeem a

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Speaker 3: blowjob coupon during an argument.

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Speaker 2: Yikes.

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Speaker 1: All right, yeah, not the best timing, not.

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Speaker 3: The best I think that's why you affed up. My

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Speaker 3: top dresser drawer is a catch all for uncategorized miscellanea

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Speaker 3: that I've accumulated over the years. It's filled with all

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Speaker 3: kinds of random things that seem like a good idea

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Speaker 3: to keep but have no use whatsoever.

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Speaker 1: In day to day life. We do that. We all

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Speaker 1: do that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we all do that, like, for example, the track

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Speaker 3: metal I won in high school, or a guitar string

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Speaker 3: and placement tool, or that naughty coupon booklet my wife

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Speaker 3: bought me when we were still dating, you know, stuff

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Speaker 3: like that. I was looking for something in there the

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Speaker 3: other day and I came across the booklet. It was

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Speaker 3: untouched and all the coupons were intact, which gave it

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Speaker 3: to me. I thought it was a cute gesture. But

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Speaker 3: we were already doing all those things anyway, so I

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Speaker 3: tucked it away and forgot about it. Fast forward fifteen years.

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Speaker 3: Many of those married with children will know the novelty

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Speaker 3: that was lost on me in the past suddenly came

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Speaker 3: in to sharp focus. This man wants a blow job.

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Speaker 3: One day, she comes home from work. I was upstairs,

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Speaker 3: and I could just feel the negative energy rush into

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Speaker 3: a house. The sound of her bad day could be

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Speaker 3: heard in her footsteps. Her heels were aggressively clacking against

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Speaker 3: the floor. I could tell from the combo of the

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Speaker 3: side roalt coming from downstairs that I was about to

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Speaker 3: get the business for something.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even know I did.

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Speaker 3: Oh, dear head downstairs, and we say hi and ask

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Speaker 3: about each other's day. Hers sucked, I was great, which

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Speaker 3: automatically made things worse.

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Speaker 2: That's just how it goes.

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Speaker 1: That's how it goes. Women.

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Speaker 3: As predicted, she starts to unload big time. It's brutal,

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Speaker 3: and I'm just listening, quietly, certain there's nothing I can

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Speaker 3: say or do to make it better. She notices I'm

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Speaker 3: not engaging and asks what my deal is. I pull

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Speaker 3: out the coupon booklet, oh bucket. During a hasty moment

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Speaker 3: of questionable quick thinking, not quick thinking, bad thinking, my dude,

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Speaker 3: and flipping open to the blow job coupon, the blowjob coop.

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Speaker 2: Okay, of all the coupons you could pick, there's probably

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Speaker 2: like a kiss, you know, a kiss would have been

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Speaker 2: He might have been able to get away with that.

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Speaker 1: He might have been able to get away with that.

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Speaker 1: But buddy, read the room. Come on, read the room.

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Speaker 1: Oh p come on, come on.

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Speaker 3: I ceremoniously fold it along the perforations and tear it out,

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Speaker 3: handing it to her purposefully. Her confused and caught a

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Speaker 3: little off guard.

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Speaker 1: What's this? Me pointing to the coupon see see good

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Speaker 1: for any time?

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Speaker 2: He just keeps getting worse?

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Speaker 3: Her livid, aren't you effing kidding me?

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Speaker 1: Me? Still purposeful?

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Speaker 3: No, it says anytime, right here, look at it, look

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Speaker 3: at it anytime. Her shocked face turned crimson me, doubling

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Speaker 3: down and drawing her attention to the fine print, which

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Speaker 3: saw there's fine print. Bad Are you ready for this?

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Speaker 3: Drop your pants. I'll get on my knees and suck

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Speaker 3: your dick.

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Speaker 1: With a lick and a squeeze. No it rid right?

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Speaker 1: Did he read it? She did? He did hero.

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Speaker 3: No, she goes nuclear nuclear, She snatches the booklet and

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Speaker 3: tears it to smithereens.

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Speaker 1: I've never seen her so mad in my life. Achievement unlocked.

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Speaker 3: There is one hundred percent chance this may or may

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Speaker 3: not end my marriage.

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Speaker 2: Dude, I mean fifteen years ago, Like he knew this,

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Speaker 2: you know what, not even that I will give him.

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Speaker 2: You know, sometimes you have that like spur of the

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Speaker 2: moment thing where you just react with something stupid that happens.

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Speaker 1: But he didn't retreat.

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Speaker 2: But he didn't retreat.

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Speaker 3: He just kept going, Like bro, Bro, you were digging

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Speaker 3: your whole deeper and deeper. You were digging that hole

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Speaker 3: to the center of the Earth, past the core, through

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Speaker 3: the core you've melted, and then you go throughout like

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Speaker 3: the next part of the core, which we're inner core.

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Speaker 2: All the course, all the course you.

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Speaker 1: Went mantle out through the side, going towards Pluto.

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Speaker 2: Bro like went to string theory. He hopped different parallel universes.

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Speaker 3: Like we're getting all physics in your business. Literally, physics

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Speaker 3: in your business. Physics in your business, physics in your business.

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Speaker 3: You've got physics in your business, and you want some more.

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Speaker 3: We're opening up that strodger door, he cat, Oh do

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Speaker 3: you want some more? Disappeared and gone through the floor

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Speaker 3: in physics business. Physics business, Okay, physics business. It's busy.

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Speaker 3: But if any of you guys are musically talented, please

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Speaker 3: send us a mix of that to okop show at

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Speaker 3: gmail dot com. We'd love to hear it. We might

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Speaker 3: even play it in our next episode.

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Speaker 2: Right, you could be famous. You could be famous among

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Speaker 2: all twenty all twenty.

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Speaker 1: We're a tight knit group, these twenty people, twenty okop.

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Speaker 2: My mother tried to send me to military school and

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Speaker 2: forged my dad's signature. Blows up in her.

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Speaker 1: Face, ziom as it should, as it should.

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Speaker 2: After the last time I stood up to my mother

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Speaker 2: when she threatened to spank me, she seemed to be

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Speaker 2: a little bit more wary to try and attack me.

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Speaker 1: Wait, wait, is this how the story starts.

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Speaker 2: This is the start of the story.

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Speaker 1: This is the start. We're starting with Spain.

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Speaker 2: That's right, she the last time she spanked him, tried

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Speaker 2: to attempted, but he stopped that.

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Speaker 1: How old is this guy?

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Speaker 2: You'll see you'll be surprised that he's quite quite an

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Speaker 2: adventurous not adventurous, he's quite a respectable young man. I

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Speaker 2: think he mostly just yelled at me. She didn't lay

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Speaker 2: a finger on me again until the events of wanting

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Speaker 2: my house years later. I thought nothing of it and

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Speaker 2: just continued my usual routine of school and odd jobs.

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Speaker 2: My fifteenth birthday was around the corner. This kid's working

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Speaker 2: odd jobs and going to school like respectable young man,

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Speaker 2: and my dad presented me with an engine kit for

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Speaker 2: my bike to help me get around town. And he

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Speaker 2: said it was better off saving off for a car

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Speaker 2: than a scooter, and this would do in the meantime.

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Speaker 2: I ended up agreeing with his logic and saving for

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Speaker 2: a car. A few days later, though, I found a

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Speaker 2: pamphlet for a military school while sweeping the grass off

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Speaker 2: the back patio after.

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Speaker 1: Mowing the lawn.

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Speaker 2: It was on the ground and under a chair near

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Speaker 2: where my mom likes to sit and drink wine. You know, I,

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Speaker 2: you know what's coming. I had a bad feeling she

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Speaker 2: was cooking up some crazy kind of scheme, so I

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Speaker 2: waited till my dad got home to show him what

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Speaker 2: I'd found. He was pretty mad, but didn't jump to conclusions.

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Speaker 2: That's smart, so he went to see the mom with

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Speaker 2: my pamphlet and asked her what it was about, and

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Speaker 2: what was it about? Dad, Honey, what's this? Mom goes

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Speaker 2: way at the side of the pamphlet. It's nothing. I've

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Speaker 2: never seen it before. I love that voice, Dad, really,

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Speaker 2: because if you were planning to try and send Craggle

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Speaker 2: to military school, you know I wouldn't allow it. Then

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Speaker 2: laying down the law, laying down the lice, big big Daddy,

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Speaker 2: big bucks over here, just big Daddy in Big Daddy

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Speaker 2: laid down the lise. That's when Mom broke oversad and yelled.

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Speaker 1: It's a hand some discipline.

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Speaker 3: He locks his door all the time.

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Speaker 2: And I can't even speak him anymore because he's too big. Dad.

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Speaker 2: Craggle did nothing wrong when he stood up to you

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Speaker 2: because of your stupid favoritism. If anything, our daughter is

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Speaker 2: the brat because of you and the way you spoil

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Speaker 2: her and let her get away from stealing from her brother.

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Speaker 2: And as far as I'm concerned, this discussion about sending

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Speaker 2: Craggle to military school is over, and if you try

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Speaker 2: to send him, then, so help me. I will bring

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Speaker 2: the hammer down any way I can't.

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Speaker 3: I The other thing I love about this is like, like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: he's standing up for his son. But he just threw

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Speaker 3: his daughter under the bus, like, not only do you suck,

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Speaker 3: but our daughter it's just because of you. Yeah, this

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Speaker 3: is a this is a rough family's trying to throw hands.

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Speaker 2: Mom, Well I guess this whole family is just gonna

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Speaker 2: take away with little pell I have left in this house.

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Speaker 2: Then if I have nothing, I might as well be

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Speaker 2: nothing world's smallest violin there, lady, that's that's what. That's

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Speaker 2: what time it is. Dad, You and I both know

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Speaker 2: you'd rather keel over than be nothing. Stop being so dramatic.

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Speaker 2: That Kraggle is growing up and is his own man

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Speaker 2: with his own money.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean like that's he's independent. He doesn't need

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Speaker 3: you spanking him and going in the room, right.

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Speaker 2: Mom then just stormed out of the room. The next morning,

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Speaker 2: before school, I saw her furiously trying to stuff something

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Speaker 2: in the kitchen trashman. So I waited for her to

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Speaker 2: leave for work and dug out what she was trying

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Speaker 2: to hide. It was an application for the military school,

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Speaker 2: filled out entirely in her handwriting. And get this, it

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Speaker 2: required the signature of both parents, and there was two

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Speaker 2: signatures on the paper. I recognize my moms, of course,

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Speaker 2: but the other looked like a pitiful attempt at trying

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Speaker 2: to replicate dads. He prided himself on his smooth and

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Speaker 2: complex signature.

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Speaker 1: So do what was that? Yeah? What?

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Speaker 3: Like, all right, not only did she do it, but

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Speaker 3: she just did it bad. Yeah, yeah, this is the

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Speaker 3: kind of woman we're dealing with.

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Speaker 2: Like, like they wouldn't eventually figure it out her an

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Speaker 2: intruder and a four jersey? What did she think would happen?

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Speaker 2: Like they wouldn't eventually be like, hey, he's going to

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Speaker 2: the school and then they look at the paper like.

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Speaker 3: What side of then Like, you're list in the military,

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Speaker 3: it's really hard to break contract. You could be messed

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Speaker 3: up for a while. So true, some of these are

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Speaker 3: like the's like four year five year commitments at the

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Speaker 3: very least. Sometimes, dude, if you're like going into military academies,

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Speaker 3: I'm not sure if like military boarding schools are the

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Speaker 3: same way.

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Speaker 1: But still like, yeah, it can be rough.

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Speaker 2: That's not good And there's no way my mom could

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Speaker 2: copy it without looking like a fraud. I guess you

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Speaker 2: realized that after she was confronted and gave up on

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Speaker 2: trying to send me away. But I kept the papers

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Speaker 2: and showed them to my dad later. He was mad

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Speaker 2: but figured she'd already let that go, but he filed

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Speaker 2: the papers in his office just in case. Smart move, Dad,

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Speaker 2: because a few months later it got out that my

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Speaker 2: mother was having an affair with an ex boyfriend of

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Speaker 2: hers from high school. What.

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Speaker 1: Yes, she just keeps getting worse.

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Speaker 3: Yes, forger, spanker, intruder, just bad person, and now we

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Speaker 3: have an adult adulterer.

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Speaker 1: Adulter is such like a heart, Yeah it is.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, is that the right word? But

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Speaker 2: it is right?

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Speaker 4: I think it is the right We're getting Yeah, really

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Speaker 4: really fair about I'm not just going to the Bible.

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Speaker 4: That was the last drop for my dad, and he

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Speaker 4: filed for divorce and I went to live with him

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Speaker 4: months later after he bought another house. He sped up

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Speaker 4: the divorce pretty quickly by pulling out the old military

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Speaker 4: school papers that my mom had four with his signature

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Speaker 4: on it. And it wasn't just that. He also had

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Speaker 4: evidence that she forged a signature on at least one

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Speaker 4: credit card application and one other thing I don't recall.

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Speaker 4: That made my mom fear for being arrested for fraud.

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Speaker 4: And they went through court pretty fast because she agreed

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Speaker 4: to most of his terms.

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Speaker 2: Probably a smart move.

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Speaker 1: For her, definitely. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Mom got the house because Dad didn't want it any ways,

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Speaker 2: but she also demanded alimony and child support because my

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Speaker 2: sister unsurprisingly chose to stay living with her.

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Speaker 1: This is a split family.

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Speaker 2: It's it's not good. The judge awarded my mom with

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Speaker 2: that child support and a minimum amount of alimony for

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Speaker 2: a decade of monthly payments, but the alimony was basically

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Speaker 2: just my sister's allowance. Anyways, my mom was pretty mad

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Speaker 2: about that, and she threatened to take him back to court.

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Speaker 2: But then he held those forged signatures back overhead again

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Speaker 2: and he got it a back down.

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Speaker 3: Dude, Well, those like those signatures just came in clutch,

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Speaker 3: I guess.

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Speaker 1: Just always says.

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Speaker 3: Save documents, ladies and gentlemen, save the documents, say the dirt.

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Speaker 1: Say that.

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Speaker 3: Also, make sure you have a good file structure on

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Speaker 3: your computer so you can like just sure.

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Speaker 2: Hierarchy it's important.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, hierarchy, it's important.

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Speaker 2: So on the day I left in Dad's new house,

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Speaker 2: my sister stuck out her tongue at me and smugly said,

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Speaker 2: Mommy told me that I was a princess and the

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Speaker 2: more deserving sibling, and that's the reason why I was

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Speaker 2: leaving the house. I just shook my head and told

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Speaker 2: her to think when she once because I just don't

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Speaker 2: care anymore. Then I walked at the door, finally feeling

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Speaker 2: free as a bird. And my relationship with my sister

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Speaker 2: when she came to visit my dad's house once a week,

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Speaker 2: only got worse from there, and then we eventually just

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Speaker 2: stopped talking after years, and I don't really care to

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Speaker 2: visit my mom's house. She pretty much gutted my old

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Speaker 2: room for an office anyway.

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Speaker 1: What a dysfunctional family.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that was highly dysfunctional, dude. It kind of makes

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Speaker 2: me wonder, like how people like that end up getting

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Speaker 2: together in the first place, Like was it always that way?

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Speaker 3: I guess so, Like marriages are tough, are tough, just

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Speaker 3: like honestly, well, I think just keeping a relationship with

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Speaker 3: anyone friend or otherwise for fifteen twenty.

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Speaker 1: Years, that is true. Like how many friends have you

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Speaker 1: had for ten years?

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Speaker 2: Very few?

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Speaker 1: Like I have Christian my roommate.

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Speaker 2: Really, you know Christian for ten years.

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Speaker 1: I've remembered since kindergarten. Wow, Shout out Christian, Shout out Christian.

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Speaker 3: I knew so I moved to Australia when I was younger,

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Speaker 3: and I knew him before I was in Australia, and wow,

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Speaker 3: we were friends the whole time.

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Speaker 1: And now I live with him.

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Speaker 2: That's awesome.

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Speaker 3: And then Christian Meyers his friend I've known since kindergarten. Ian,

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Speaker 3: who've met kindergarten. There's a bunch of kindergarten boys, kindergarten gangs,

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Speaker 3: kinder bar stang, kindergang. But like, besides, like maybe I

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Speaker 3: would say Christian Ian would be my closest friends that

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Speaker 3: I've had for you know, ten years, but other than that,

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Speaker 3: not really.

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Speaker 1: Wow, that's says my sister.

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Speaker 2: That's that's pretty good.

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Speaker 1: I got.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm still friends with them, but I'm three thousand

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Speaker 2: miles away.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, well you it's harder when you move. John,

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Speaker 3: like moved across the country or what it was it Orlando.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm from Bradenton, the metropolis of Bradenton, Florida. That

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Speaker 2: is where I helped. I moved here, moved to the

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Speaker 2: Bay when I was seventeen, and uh, needless to say,

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Speaker 2: I am still here in California.

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Speaker 3: So west side, baby, can I do this? Is this

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Speaker 3: gang related Uh, if I say west House, I don't

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Speaker 3: know west side.

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Speaker 1: This is just a W. This is not a gang sign,

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Speaker 1: just a W west Side, all right.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's another one.