1 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:08,400 Speaker 1: I wonder if you could tell me that story about 2 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,720 Speaker 1: the time that a sister had to go to the 3 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 1: hospital and he thought, this is going to be my chance. 4 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 2: So one of the sisters she had been in the 5 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,560 Speaker 2: hospital recently and she needed to go back and have 6 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:27,920 Speaker 2: a checkup. It felt like this opportunity fell from heaven 7 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:31,760 Speaker 2: into my lap and I would escape. 8 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 1: Why didn't you just walk out, just tell someone I'm leaving, 9 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 1: and just walk out the door. 10 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 2: We always went out two by two. We were never 11 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 2: allowed just to walk out and do something, so I 12 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 2: wouldn't have been able to go, you know, more than 13 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:56,400 Speaker 2: five or six paces before somebody ran up to me 14 00:00:56,440 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 2: and said, where are you going? But I knew, because 15 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,800 Speaker 2: I had been in that hospital and was familiar with it, 16 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 2: that there was a room where there was a collection 17 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 2: of clothes that the patients had left behind, So I 18 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:18,200 Speaker 2: knew where that was. I could find myself some clothes there, 19 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 2: some normal clothes. I thought, I'll drive in with this 20 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:28,679 Speaker 2: sister who's ill, and then when we get there, I 21 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:31,400 Speaker 2: would just leave. I would leave her there, and I 22 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:35,319 Speaker 2: would have at least a few hours before anybody figured 23 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:44,559 Speaker 2: out what I'd done. So I took some phone tokens 24 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 2: and I got in the car and they're in that car. 25 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 2: On the way to the hospital. I was perspiring. My 26 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 2: hands were clamming, my heart was raising. It was so hot. 27 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 2: And as we left the city and we drove towards 28 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 2: the seashore, there was a breeze and it started just 29 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:09,240 Speaker 2: to feel really nice, and there were palm trees, and 30 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 2: there was the sky and you could see the water 31 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 2: off in the distance. It was like a breath of freedom. 32 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 3: It was like. 33 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:21,680 Speaker 2: A way to breathe again. And I just wanted more 34 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 2: and more of that air, that freedom, that life, that light. 35 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 2: I thought, this is my chance. I just have to 36 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:31,600 Speaker 2: take it. 37 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: There's a box in Mary Johnson's house, a boxy rarely opens. 38 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,799 Speaker 2: Well, you know, I've been talking with you lately about 39 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 2: all of these things, and so I brought this box 40 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 2: down from the top of my bookcase because I think 41 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:09,080 Speaker 2: these things do help me remember better and get back 42 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,919 Speaker 2: into the feeling. 43 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: We all know this box, the one full of memories 44 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 1: of a version of yourself that with time and experience 45 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:24,799 Speaker 1: becomes more distant, hard to relate to. But we keep 46 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,640 Speaker 1: these things as proof out of you. It's there in 47 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 1: case we need reminding. Mary's box holds mementos from twenty 48 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:35,240 Speaker 1: five years ago, a time when she was devoted to 49 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:38,560 Speaker 1: a different world, an insular community that asked her to 50 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 1: separate from her family and her past, to focus her 51 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 1: life on one thing love. 52 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 2: Well, first, there's this plastic display case like you might 53 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 2: get some earrings in or something like that, and underneath 54 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 2: it's just little tiny pieces of Mother Teresa's hair. 55 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:58,000 Speaker 1: Wow, it's probably four strands or something. 56 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 2: Would you say, Yeah, that looks like strands, and they're 57 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 2: arranged in a cross shape. 58 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: So I mean it's hair of a saint that you 59 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 1: have in a box on your bookshelf. 60 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 2: And it is not only hair of a saint I 61 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 2: have an box on my bookshelf, but the hair of 62 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,200 Speaker 2: a woman that I knew and had a very complicated 63 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:18,120 Speaker 2: relationship with. 64 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 1: Mary Johnson has these strands of hair in her keepsake 65 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 1: box because in nineteen eighty she made a vow, a 66 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 1: vow to devote herself to serving the poor and God. 67 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:33,479 Speaker 1: She became a religious sister with the Missionaries of Charity, 68 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,159 Speaker 1: the Catholic Order formed by Mother Teresa. 69 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:40,159 Speaker 2: So I did spend a lot more time alone with 70 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:44,160 Speaker 2: her than most sisters had the opportunity to do. And 71 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 2: I loved her. I loved her deeply. 72 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,840 Speaker 4: Mother Teresa helping the poorest of the. 73 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:55,920 Speaker 5: Poor, Revered by popes and presidents, queens and princesses. 74 00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:56,799 Speaker 1: Particularly. 75 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 4: Anything that's known about her is shouted in mystery and myth. 76 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: Though fiercely private, the small nun in a white and 77 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:08,600 Speaker 1: blue sorry became an icon, and thousands of women abandoned 78 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: their previous lives to follow her. 79 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:15,599 Speaker 6: We were to love, be unlovable. 80 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:19,680 Speaker 2: You feel God is asking you to do something, It 81 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,160 Speaker 2: doesn't matter how hard it is. 82 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,480 Speaker 6: She was so close to God, and you knew it 83 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:28,919 Speaker 6: when she was there, and everything changed. You know. 84 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 1: I heard about Mother Teresa when I was a kid. 85 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,800 Speaker 1: She seemed like the ultimate example of selflessness, of someone 86 00:05:36,839 --> 00:05:39,919 Speaker 1: who saw poverty and actually did something about it. She 87 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:44,000 Speaker 1: seemed like this perfect person with a simple message. But 88 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 1: the more people I've talked to, the more I've realized 89 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:51,279 Speaker 1: how little I understood her, how unusual her spirituality actually was, 90 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:55,919 Speaker 1: how her legacy was filled with controversy, and how thorny 91 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,920 Speaker 1: and complicated her order could be for the people inside it. 92 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:05,800 Speaker 2: The order was wired that you had very little time to. 93 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 3: Think you're only getting input from one source, you isolated 94 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 3: from everyone else. 95 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:13,480 Speaker 2: That's what I mean by Brian washing. 96 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:15,400 Speaker 1: They become the voice of God for you. 97 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 2: That's all they keep saying. 98 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 1: Under your valleve obedience right. 99 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,800 Speaker 2: One doesn't always know where to draw the line between 100 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,160 Speaker 2: religion and cult. 101 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:26,839 Speaker 1: When Mary was nineteen years old, she dropped out of 102 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 1: college and joined Mother Teresa's Order of Nuns. There was 103 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,440 Speaker 1: no legal contract, nothing physical that bound her to the group. 104 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 1: She could leave at anytime, but from the beginning she 105 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:41,120 Speaker 1: was convinced there was no turning back. As she went deeper, 106 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:44,000 Speaker 1: she learned more secrets about this way of life. She 107 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:48,039 Speaker 1: saw vows taken to extremes. She felt the rigidity of rules. 108 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 1: How separate this society, this culture, this world really was. 109 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 1: Many former sisters like Mary entered the Order seeking love 110 00:06:56,600 --> 00:07:00,599 Speaker 1: and purpose, only to lose themselves along the way, And 111 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:01,839 Speaker 1: it was a long road back. 112 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 2: My story is the story of a woman who disappoints 113 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,360 Speaker 2: the most admired woman in the world. 114 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: From a cocoa punch and iHeartMedia, this is the turning 115 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 1: I'm Erika Lance Part one, No turning back. 116 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 4: Mother Teresa was busy as usual, saving the world, and 117 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 4: I mean that quite literally. 118 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,280 Speaker 1: It's nineteen eighty five. Ronald Reagan's in front of the 119 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 1: French doors of the West wing of the White House. 120 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 4: Her order of the Missionaries of Charity is spread throughout 121 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 4: the world, serving the poorest of the poor. 122 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 1: Mother Teresa stands beside him in her white and blue 123 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 1: sorry a foot shorter than he is. 124 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 4: Mother Teresa is a heroine of our times. And to 125 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:09,400 Speaker 4: the many honors she has received, including the Nobel Peace Prize, 126 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 4: we add with deep affection and endless respect, the Presidential 127 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 4: Medal of Freedom. 128 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:33,559 Speaker 3: I am most doneworthy of this generous gift of our President, 129 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 3: said Reagan and his wife and new people of United States. 130 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,839 Speaker 3: But I accept it for the greater glory of God 131 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:50,600 Speaker 3: and in the name of the millions of poor people. 132 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:57,079 Speaker 3: For this gift, in spirit and in love will penetrate 133 00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 3: the hearts of the people. For in giving it to me, 134 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:05,400 Speaker 3: you are giving it to them. 135 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 1: Mother Teresa founded her congregation of Sisters in Kolcutta, India 136 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 1: in nineteen fifty. She called them the Missionaries of Charity 137 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,720 Speaker 1: MC's for short, and she became famous for tending to 138 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,599 Speaker 1: what she called the poorest of the poor, especially in 139 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,319 Speaker 1: her home for the dying. She explained her mission with 140 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 1: a Bible passage. 141 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 3: Jesus said, I was hungry and you gave me to eat. 142 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:34,600 Speaker 3: I was naked, you clothe me. I was homeless and 143 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 3: you took me in. I was seek and in prison, 144 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:41,360 Speaker 3: and you visited me, and you took care of me. 145 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity believe that each sick person 146 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 1: on the street is Jesus in disguise. 147 00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 3: That's the same Jesus and the distressing disguise of the poor. 148 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 1: The Missionaries of Charity are still headquartered in Kolcutta, but 149 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:01,319 Speaker 1: Mother Teresa expanded her mission far beyond Indian She founded 150 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 1: convents in other countries, and she created new MC branches 151 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: for fathers and for brothers. As her order grew, so 152 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 1: did Mother Teresa's fame. People loved her message. She spoke 153 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:15,000 Speaker 1: of love, of having compassion for everyone, of doing your 154 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 1: small part to help others. It's a message that appealed 155 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 1: to Mary Johnson. Mary grew up in Michigan and Texas 156 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,440 Speaker 1: in a Catholic family. She was the oldest of seven kids, 157 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,280 Speaker 1: and at a young age she had a special relationship 158 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,120 Speaker 1: with a higher power. 159 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:33,400 Speaker 2: I had always found church to be something I enjoyed 160 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 2: if it didn't last too long. I enjoyed Catholic school 161 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:41,440 Speaker 2: when I was in class, but on the playground at 162 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,840 Speaker 2: lunch time, I really don't have any friends, and so 163 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 2: I would find some place on the distant side of 164 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,600 Speaker 2: the playground and I would just talk to God. And 165 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 2: I think that's kind of where it started for me. 166 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 1: In second grade, Mary's teacher told the class to write 167 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,600 Speaker 1: about what they wanted to be when they grew up. 168 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 2: Boys, you could be fireman, you could be doctors, you 169 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:05,439 Speaker 2: could be policemen. And she gave this long list of 170 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 2: careers possibilities, and then she said, girls, you could be 171 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:14,280 Speaker 2: nurses or teachers. So write your essay. 172 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 3: Now. 173 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,960 Speaker 2: I didn't know what to do because I wanted to 174 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,480 Speaker 2: be either an archaeologist or the director of the New 175 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:24,119 Speaker 2: York Philharmonic. I used to watch Leonard Bernstein on television 176 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,680 Speaker 2: and I just loved that, and I thought it was 177 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,239 Speaker 2: just the best thing in the world. 178 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 1: Just two options for girls neither interested Mary. Here's what 179 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:33,080 Speaker 1: she wrote in the end. 180 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:36,720 Speaker 2: When I grow up, I will be whatever God wants 181 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:40,319 Speaker 2: me to be. I have figured that way God has 182 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,080 Speaker 2: learning more possibilities, and he said, than the sister does. 183 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:49,160 Speaker 2: And so I thought that's it. But somehow it wasn't 184 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 2: just an essay for me. It was like a pact. 185 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 2: It was like, okay, God, you show me what you want, 186 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,320 Speaker 2: and I will do that thing. 187 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 1: When Mary was twelve years old, her parents got in 188 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,440 Speaker 1: to charismatic Catholicism. They were pretty involved in it. The 189 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:06,160 Speaker 1: local group often met at their house. They'd pray and 190 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 1: speak and sing in tongues. But Mary didn't quite connect 191 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 1: with that type of spirituality. She waited for her own 192 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:17,200 Speaker 1: message from God. In high school, Barry joined the debate team. 193 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,280 Speaker 1: She wrote for the high school newspaper, and then when 194 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,400 Speaker 1: she was a senior, the message arrived. 195 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:28,520 Speaker 2: And I was walking past our library, which had glass windows, 196 00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:30,959 Speaker 2: and I saw the cover of Time magazine and there 197 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 2: was this face of this wrinkled nun with a white 198 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:40,719 Speaker 2: veil with blue stripes, and she had these eyes. And 199 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:45,079 Speaker 2: I took that magazine from the shelf and I started 200 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:46,959 Speaker 2: reading in the bell rank for French class, and I 201 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 2: didn't care. I just sat there and I read about 202 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:54,199 Speaker 2: this not in Calcutta, who was doing these fantastic things 203 00:12:54,320 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 2: with taking in dying people and caring for them. 204 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 1: She was attracted to the MC's focus on love and 205 00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:06,320 Speaker 1: working with the poor, but it was their commitment to 206 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 1: the vow of poverty to live like those they were 207 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 1: serving that grabbed her. 208 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 2: I mean, the Missionaries of Charity took poverty really seriously. 209 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,840 Speaker 2: And one of the places in the Bible where Jesus 210 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:21,400 Speaker 2: talks about poverty is during that Summon on the mount 211 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:26,720 Speaker 2: when he says, stop worrying about everything. Look at the 212 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:29,400 Speaker 2: birds of the air, Look at the lilies of the field. 213 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:31,920 Speaker 2: See how your heavenly Father takes care of them. He 214 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,240 Speaker 2: knows what they need me make sure they get it. 215 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 2: It's gonna be less for you. He has every hair 216 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,800 Speaker 2: on your head counted. What do you think He's gonna 217 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:45,200 Speaker 2: let disaster strike? No, No, just consider the lilies. 218 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,720 Speaker 1: The article just pulled her in like nothing before. 219 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:53,840 Speaker 2: This was like my whole heart on fire. And I 220 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 2: really felt like that was God talking to me. And 221 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 2: by the time I got up, I said, this is 222 00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 2: what I gotta do. And I went home and started 223 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 2: writing letters and trying to figure it out. 224 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,680 Speaker 1: Mary wrote to Mother Teresa and asked to join her order. 225 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 2: You know, And it's kind of that impulsivity of a teenager. 226 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:31,800 Speaker 1: It was the summer of nineteen seventy seven when Mary 227 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,880 Speaker 1: arrived in New York City. She made her way through 228 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:37,560 Speaker 1: the city to a new life as a missionary of charity. 229 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,880 Speaker 2: I'd never been in a big city like that before. 230 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:49,440 Speaker 2: Enormous buildings and these wide streets and all of these 231 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,800 Speaker 2: people out on the street, so many cars, so much action, 232 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:54,720 Speaker 2: and it was exciting. 233 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,640 Speaker 1: Mary was headed to the Bronx. That's where the main 234 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: empcy house in the United States is, and it's where 235 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 1: she'd joined new Sisters in training. She carried a cardboard 236 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:07,520 Speaker 1: box tied with string. It held two skirts and two blouses. 237 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:12,120 Speaker 1: That's all the Sisters said she'd need. New York was 238 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,720 Speaker 1: a different place. In the summer of seventy seven, a 239 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,320 Speaker 1: widespread blackout shut down the city and led to looting. 240 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,120 Speaker 1: It had nearly gone bankrupt just two years before. Landlords 241 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 1: were setting fire to their own buildings to cash in 242 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,200 Speaker 1: on insurance, and one of the biggest manhunts in New 243 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,360 Speaker 1: York City history was on for the son of Sam, 244 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:33,480 Speaker 1: serial killer who was shooting and murdering young women. But 245 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 1: when Mary arrived, what she noticed was the energy. 246 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:41,880 Speaker 2: I do remember very clearly emerging from the subway station 247 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 2: there and walking into all of this sound, Spanish music, 248 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:53,160 Speaker 2: Spanish speaking. I'd see mangoes on the sidewalk there in 249 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:57,520 Speaker 2: front of the fruit stand, and just all the excitement 250 00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 2: and the energy of the South Bronc in the summer 251 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:05,080 Speaker 2: of nineteen seventy seven. There were these groups, especially of 252 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:10,520 Speaker 2: young men and older boys, gathered around boomboxes and doing 253 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 2: these enormous gymnastic moves is very very impressive breakdancing, and 254 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,680 Speaker 2: it's just feeling like I had walked into a completely 255 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,120 Speaker 2: different world than the one I'd known. 256 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 1: The convent looked like any other house in the area, 257 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:31,480 Speaker 1: a simple brick building. 258 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:35,720 Speaker 2: So I ring the doorbell and wait a little while, 259 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:38,600 Speaker 2: and wait a little while, and then finally sister Rochelle 260 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,000 Speaker 2: comes down. She welcomes me with a big smile, and 261 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 2: she knows my name, and she knows what I'm there for. 262 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 2: They've been waiting for me. And I went inside and 263 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:50,800 Speaker 2: everything inside was quiet. Rossel whispered to me. She says welcome, 264 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,560 Speaker 2: and she says, let's go say hello to Jesus. 265 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,640 Speaker 1: After a quick stop to pray in the chapel, they 266 00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:00,480 Speaker 1: climbed to the stairs to the refectory room, where they 267 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,640 Speaker 1: did most everything. They ate their meals in the refectory, 268 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,600 Speaker 1: studied how to be a sister. In the refectory, inside 269 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:09,359 Speaker 1: was a plywood table, two benches, and a stool. 270 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 2: I was kind of amazed at how bare it was, 271 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:14,919 Speaker 2: how minimal it was. 272 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,600 Speaker 1: On the wall hung side by side images of Mother 273 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:22,119 Speaker 1: Teresa and Jesus. There was also a plaque with the 274 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:25,119 Speaker 1: motto for new Sisters, a quote from the Gospel of John. 275 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:30,600 Speaker 1: Jesus must increase and I must decrease. Then Sister Rochelle 276 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:34,359 Speaker 1: showed her the dormitory, a sacred space that must stay silent. 277 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,520 Speaker 1: They were never to speak inside it. It was one 278 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,159 Speaker 1: room with thirteen cots and they were really close together, 279 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,680 Speaker 1: just enough room between them to get into bed. Mary 280 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,800 Speaker 1: was excited for this unadorned life. 281 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:49,480 Speaker 2: Things can weigh you down so much, and there was 282 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,479 Speaker 2: a sense of freedom to it. How are you going 283 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,159 Speaker 2: to get along with just these few little things? But 284 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 2: it's nice. It's the lilies of the field and the 285 00:17:57,040 --> 00:18:00,200 Speaker 2: birds of the air don't need more much. 286 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 1: Mary arrived in time for adoration. She and the other 287 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:08,200 Speaker 1: sisters filed into a pewless chapel, They knelt in rose 288 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:09,960 Speaker 1: and put their heads to the floor. 289 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:16,880 Speaker 2: The center of this life was God. Nothing else mattered 290 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 2: in the way that those moments of prayer did that time, 291 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 2: that time with God. 292 00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:29,119 Speaker 1: They're chanting mixed with the sounds from outside backfiring cars, boomboxes. 293 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,359 Speaker 1: She felt like she'd entered a distant, peaceful planet she 294 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:37,880 Speaker 1: didn't understand. She prayed, You'd have the strength for this life. 295 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,640 Speaker 1: At dinner that night, Mary and her twelve new sisters 296 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,200 Speaker 1: gathered around that plywood refectory table. 297 00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:46,840 Speaker 2: And ster Carmeline said, Praise Beee Jesus Christ, and everybody 298 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:52,520 Speaker 2: there started clapping their hands and singings, we welcome, welcome sister, 299 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:57,320 Speaker 2: We welcome, welcome sister. We welcome welcome sister from our hut, 300 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 2: just as they had sung to each new sister who 301 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,359 Speaker 2: arrived and would continue to sing to each one after me. 302 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,240 Speaker 1: When a woman enters the Missionaries of Charity, she starts 303 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:44,040 Speaker 1: as an aspirant. Mary's aspirancy would last six months. She 304 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:47,160 Speaker 1: wore a conservative blouse and skirt. The white sorry would 305 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:50,960 Speaker 1: come later. She quickly learns that days in the Missionaries 306 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:54,640 Speaker 1: of Charity were strictly regimented a bell rang to signal 307 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:55,919 Speaker 1: time for a new task. 308 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 2: The bell marked absolutely everything we did, and whenever it rang, 309 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,760 Speaker 2: whatever it rang, Mother told us we were to stop 310 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 2: immediately doing whatever we were doing, because the bell was 311 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,120 Speaker 2: the voice of God. 312 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,360 Speaker 1: The sisters had a tight timetable. Wake up at four 313 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 1: forty in the morning, pray, make beds, clean the house 314 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,960 Speaker 1: only twenty minutes for that, wash clothes by hand at 315 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:28,480 Speaker 1: ten mass, eat breakfast all before eight o'clock, then go 316 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:31,560 Speaker 1: out to work in the community. There was also the 317 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,600 Speaker 1: kneeling and praying hours of it every day. 318 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,239 Speaker 2: I loved the fact that prayer was so central to 319 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:42,160 Speaker 2: the lives of the missionaries of charity, but my knees 320 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,200 Speaker 2: hurt like hell. 321 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,879 Speaker 1: There were times for spiritual reading and instruction, and they 322 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,719 Speaker 1: got thirty minutes of what they called recreation, basically when 323 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 1: they all sat in the refectory and caught up on 324 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:58,360 Speaker 1: work like mending clothes. The aspirants reported to a mistress 325 00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:01,760 Speaker 1: in charge, the aspiring mistress. She taught them how to 326 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:02,560 Speaker 1: follow the rules. 327 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:08,400 Speaker 2: I was under very close scrutiny, and my aspirant mistress 328 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 2: would correct every mistake she saw, and she'd do it 329 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:15,720 Speaker 2: publicly and she'd do it loudly, kind of like the 330 00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:17,000 Speaker 2: drill sergeant. 331 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,239 Speaker 5: The idea behind the Mission of Charity training is just 332 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,840 Speaker 5: like military training, to break you down into nothing. 333 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,440 Speaker 1: This is Kelly Dunham. She also joined the Missionaries of 334 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,359 Speaker 1: Charity and began her training in the same convent as Mary, 335 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,359 Speaker 1: but seventeen years later, in nineteen ninety four. 336 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:38,000 Speaker 5: In those first months, it seemed like the whole idea 337 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,520 Speaker 5: was to make you feel as alone as possible, with 338 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,639 Speaker 5: the idea that you would depend only on God. 339 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 1: Kelly says that like in boot camp, you did what 340 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 1: you were told, whether or not it made sense to you. 341 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 1: She struggled with that, but she loved the moments of 342 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,560 Speaker 1: beauty working as a group for a cause, and their 343 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 1: nightly songs. After evening prayer, all of the sisters would 344 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:01,560 Speaker 1: walk outside and stand around a statue of Mary, the 345 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:02,399 Speaker 1: Mother of Jesus. 346 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,040 Speaker 5: Then you sing a little song to Mary, and everyone 347 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:07,560 Speaker 5: does like a little silent prayer, and usually touches the statue. 348 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,840 Speaker 5: I think, on the feet and then goes up. Created 349 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,200 Speaker 5: a moment, a moment of honoring something bigger than yourself. 350 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,880 Speaker 5: And it's just like by candle lights, right, So it's 351 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:20,159 Speaker 5: actually extremely like poignant, and it's a moment, right like 352 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,280 Speaker 5: it's a moment. I still can almost get tearful thinking 353 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,640 Speaker 5: about that. And I can remember one night we were 354 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,399 Speaker 5: all standing around the statue of Mary with all the sisters, 355 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:33,280 Speaker 5: their faces reflected lighted up by just the candle light, 356 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,359 Speaker 5: and I remember thinking, Oh, man, I get to be 357 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:47,440 Speaker 5: with all these beautiful women the rest of my life. 358 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 1: Mary Johnson had been in the convent for two weeks 359 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,600 Speaker 1: when there is a big announcement Mother Teresa was coming. 360 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:56,480 Speaker 2: We got so excited, you know, it just shouted there, 361 00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:01,199 Speaker 2: just oh so excited. She told us during dinner, so 362 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,680 Speaker 2: it was a time when we could speak, and we did. 363 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:07,120 Speaker 1: Mary couldn't believe she'd finally meet this woman people called 364 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:07,879 Speaker 1: a living saint. 365 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,960 Speaker 2: You know, I'd heard about saints, some of saints had 366 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:14,840 Speaker 2: these abilities where they could read people's souls. If she 367 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,640 Speaker 2: was like that, she probably wouldn't like me, I thought. 368 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 2: And the other thing I was scared about was what 369 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,880 Speaker 2: would happen if it turned out I didn't like her. 370 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 2: I decided what I would do was I would go 371 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,480 Speaker 2: to the top of the staircase because Mother Tresa would 372 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 2: come in the front door and if I positioned myself 373 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,320 Speaker 2: just right on those stairs, i'd be able to see her. 374 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,359 Speaker 2: And when the door opened and Mother was the first 375 00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:46,399 Speaker 2: one to come in, and I saw her there, this tiny, 376 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:50,119 Speaker 2: short woman with so many wrinkles, and she just looked 377 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,560 Speaker 2: so small and so determined. And the aspirants who had 378 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:57,840 Speaker 2: been waiting and were down there on that floor, Oh, Mother, Mother, 379 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 2: and they were saying things, and she would It was like, 380 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:04,400 Speaker 2: let me say hello to Jesus. First, Mother must say 381 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,160 Speaker 2: hello to Jesus. It was the first time I heard 382 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,760 Speaker 2: her talk about herself in the third person, which was 383 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:11,959 Speaker 2: something she did all the time. But I didn't know that. 384 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,320 Speaker 2: Then I thought, Ooh. 385 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 3: Mother. 386 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:16,560 Speaker 1: Teresa looked utterly focused as she took off her sandals 387 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 1: and walked to the chapel. Then she knelt to pray. 388 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:25,160 Speaker 2: I had never seen anyone somehow that connected with God. 389 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,840 Speaker 2: I felt that something holy was happening there. 390 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,960 Speaker 1: One day, Mother Teresa sat down at the Aspirens table 391 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,199 Speaker 1: to talk with the young women entering her order. She 392 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:47,840 Speaker 1: shared a clear message, one that would reverberate in Mary's 393 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:49,879 Speaker 1: mind for the next twenty years. 394 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,800 Speaker 2: God called you to come here. Jesus did not call 395 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,480 Speaker 2: your sister did not call your neighbor. Jesus called you 396 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:02,800 Speaker 2: to be here. And she said God has called you. 397 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 2: You must be faithful for life, or pack up and 398 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:09,960 Speaker 2: go home right now. And she was so clear and 399 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:15,399 Speaker 2: so strong and not a little bit scary, and she 400 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 2: was saying, just to people who had been there for 401 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:22,120 Speaker 2: for two weeks basically and hadn't figured it out yet, 402 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:25,040 Speaker 2: didn't know exactly did God call me? That's a very 403 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:28,200 Speaker 2: amorphous question. But Mother was sure. She said, you're here. 404 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:31,040 Speaker 2: That means God called you here, and now you must 405 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:32,119 Speaker 2: be faithful for life. 406 00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:37,120 Speaker 1: She brought the twelve aspirants to the chapel and had 407 00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,560 Speaker 1: the kneel in a row at the front. Then she 408 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:41,880 Speaker 1: went down the line and gave them each a crucifix. 409 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:45,919 Speaker 1: She brought the crucifix to each sister's lips for a kiss. 410 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,719 Speaker 2: She pressed that crucifix so strongly against my lips that 411 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,000 Speaker 2: you know, it's like you can hardly respond with any 412 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,800 Speaker 2: sort of kiss because she pushes it there and then 413 00:25:54,800 --> 00:26:00,879 Speaker 2: she pulls it away. Mother did everything forcefully, wholeheartedly. You know, 414 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:05,200 Speaker 2: you feel that kind of electricity when something special is happening, 415 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:09,400 Speaker 2: where your whole body just kind of tingles and feels alive, 416 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,199 Speaker 2: and at the same time there was a kind of 417 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:16,600 Speaker 2: a I think the reluctance wasn't so much in my body. 418 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:20,440 Speaker 2: The reluctance was more in my mind. But physically I 419 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,879 Speaker 2: was very excited. I was kind of full in. I 420 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:27,560 Speaker 2: remember whenever Mother spoke, just being so taken in by 421 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,560 Speaker 2: her words and by her conviction and by the power 422 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:36,800 Speaker 2: of her own belief, that you really just looked at 423 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:44,479 Speaker 2: her and could not look away. Okay, now I have 424 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,920 Speaker 2: to be a better person than I have ever been 425 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:50,679 Speaker 2: in my whole life. The bar's been raised. 426 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,280 Speaker 1: When Mother Teresa told Mary and the other Aspirans that 427 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 1: they were chosen, she said it came with a lifelong commitment. 428 00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,600 Speaker 1: It was like a marriage. They must be faithful to 429 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:14,159 Speaker 1: God and their vows. All Catholic nuns take vows of poverty, chastity, 430 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: and obedience. Mother Teresa added a fourth vow for her sisters, 431 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,439 Speaker 1: the vow of wholehearted and free service to the poorest 432 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:25,119 Speaker 1: of the poor. Mother Teresa said, to succeed in your vows, 433 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,159 Speaker 1: you just need to do one thing. Follow the constitutions. 434 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:32,280 Speaker 1: That's the governing document of the missionaries of charity. Legend 435 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,560 Speaker 1: was that early on, while everyone slept, Mother Teresa wrote 436 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:39,359 Speaker 1: the Constitutions by candlelight. Then the Vatican authorized it as 437 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:43,320 Speaker 1: an infallible path to holiness. The Constitutions laid out a 438 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,480 Speaker 1: life of love and service in the extreme. 439 00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:49,280 Speaker 2: That the attraction is really that life of sacrifice. You 440 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,880 Speaker 2: want to do something different, you want to do something radical, 441 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,320 Speaker 2: even if it's very conservative, it's also very. 442 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,480 Speaker 1: Radical to do this. The Aspirants had a daily rule 443 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:02,240 Speaker 1: class taught by the mistress. Mary's mistress wore glasses. She 444 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:03,200 Speaker 1: was short and stern. 445 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,240 Speaker 2: Sister Carmelin sat on her little stool at the head 446 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,919 Speaker 2: of the table, and she passed out the constitution books, 447 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:14,320 Speaker 2: page to open to, which number on that page to read, 448 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,240 Speaker 2: and we'd read it together, and then we'd close the books, 449 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,200 Speaker 2: and then at the end of class she would collect them. 450 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,800 Speaker 2: And it's kind of like, I knew there were things 451 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,600 Speaker 2: in that book she did not want us to see 452 00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:26,960 Speaker 2: it as curious about those. 453 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,160 Speaker 1: Gradually Mary learned the rules from her mistress. She learned 454 00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:33,480 Speaker 1: how to. 455 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,359 Speaker 2: Walk briskly, quickly, you don't want to waste any time, 456 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,440 Speaker 2: but not like wild elephants. 457 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:39,360 Speaker 1: How to talk. 458 00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:42,400 Speaker 2: We weren't supposed to talk about really anything that went 459 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:45,560 Speaker 2: on outside, you know, whether it was books or movies. 460 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,120 Speaker 1: How to wear her hair. 461 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:48,960 Speaker 2: And make a ponytail like decent girls. 462 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:50,760 Speaker 1: How to keep custody of the eyes. 463 00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:55,000 Speaker 2: We weren't supposed to be looking around at anything, really, 464 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:59,000 Speaker 2: but especially not billboards or newsstands. 465 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,160 Speaker 1: Even how to fall napkin always. 466 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:04,320 Speaker 2: In a triangle with an extra part hanging down, And 467 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:07,400 Speaker 2: that was that triangle is the Trinity. I should think 468 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,480 Speaker 2: of the Trinity every time you fold it in this 469 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:10,640 Speaker 2: particular way. 470 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:14,479 Speaker 1: Your superior was considered the direct voice of God, and 471 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,800 Speaker 1: the vow of obedience meant obey your superior without question. 472 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,520 Speaker 2: Any time a superior entered the room, we were all 473 00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 2: to stand and to sit only when she sat or 474 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,040 Speaker 2: indicated in some other way that we should sit. 475 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 1: Then there was the vow of poverty. Pretty much all 476 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,880 Speaker 1: Catholic nuns take a vow of poverty, but Mother Teresa 477 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,200 Speaker 1: took it a step further. She explained it in an 478 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:37,320 Speaker 1: interview on IRIS TV. 479 00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,640 Speaker 3: If you really want to know the poor, we must 480 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:43,960 Speaker 3: know what is poverty. And that's why in our society, 481 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:47,160 Speaker 3: poverty is our freedom and our strength. 482 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,200 Speaker 1: The missionaries of charity relied on donations and divine providence, 483 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:55,160 Speaker 1: and over the years the Order received large donations millions 484 00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,760 Speaker 1: of dollars worth because of the interest their work inspired. 485 00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:01,800 Speaker 1: But the sisters lived meager lives regardless of how much 486 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,800 Speaker 1: money the organization raised. They lived as though they didn't 487 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:06,520 Speaker 1: have any for the sake of their vow. 488 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:09,800 Speaker 6: The life of poverty of the Missionaries of Charity is 489 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 6: a very poor life. It is a poor life. 490 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 1: This is Sister Kathleen Hughes. 491 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 6: I remember my first breakfast in London. I never forget. 492 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:29,440 Speaker 6: It was kind of moldy bread, and then we got 493 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,720 Speaker 6: the airport cheeses from the air you know, somebody would 494 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:38,800 Speaker 6: bring us these little individual cheeses from the planes, you see, 495 00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:42,920 Speaker 6: and they were over ripe by the time we got them. 496 00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:46,840 Speaker 6: So I had a mouthful of moldy bread and this 497 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:51,880 Speaker 6: over ripe Camembert cheese, and I remember saying to the Lord, 498 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:56,440 Speaker 6: is every breakfast for the rest of my life going. 499 00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:57,360 Speaker 1: To be like ft? 500 00:30:58,480 --> 00:30:58,680 Speaker 3: Oh? 501 00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:03,960 Speaker 6: No, it was an initiation, It was a test. 502 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,880 Speaker 5: The Missionaries of Charity don't have fans or air conditioners. 503 00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:11,560 Speaker 1: That's Kelli Doneham again. 504 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,440 Speaker 5: And in the Bronx at that time, we weren't even 505 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:18,240 Speaker 5: opening the windows during the night, you know, so it 506 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:22,360 Speaker 5: was really really hot. So we didn't wear deodorant. We're 507 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,520 Speaker 5: wearing like three or four layers between the outside so 508 00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,200 Speaker 5: even when you sweated, it didn't make you cooler because 509 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,920 Speaker 5: it wasn't evaporating, was just getting trapped by the outside layer. 510 00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:34,480 Speaker 5: And I remember saying to the sisters like, we don't 511 00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,640 Speaker 5: smell very good, and she's like, oh, such a blessing 512 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:37,640 Speaker 5: to help with chastity. 513 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:37,760 Speaker 4: No. 514 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:47,200 Speaker 2: Mother Teresa was very concerned about maintaining the vow of chastity, 515 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:51,719 Speaker 2: really almost to the point of paranoia about it, and 516 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:55,200 Speaker 2: she passed then on to everybody else in Ordle class. 517 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:58,720 Speaker 1: Mary learned chastity meant more than not having sex for 518 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:03,160 Speaker 1: missionaries of charity, and meant no touching period. The sisters 519 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,600 Speaker 1: should never touch each other and the people they cared for. 520 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:10,120 Speaker 1: Mother Teresa said, touch them as little as possible. 521 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,719 Speaker 2: She would say, sometimes, of course it's necessary. You have 522 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,160 Speaker 2: to touch the babies, you have to feed the babies, 523 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,400 Speaker 2: but as soon as that baby is fed, you put 524 00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:19,160 Speaker 2: that baby down. 525 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,080 Speaker 1: The vow of chastity is why talking was so controlled, 526 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,440 Speaker 1: to make sure sisters didn't get too close. They could 527 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:28,400 Speaker 1: only talk at approved times, usually when they were all together. 528 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:32,720 Speaker 1: When sisters walked outside the convent, always in twos, they 529 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:37,800 Speaker 1: didn't talk. Instead, they prayed the Rosary. Allowed together, on sidewalks, 530 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,240 Speaker 1: on buses, everywhere. 531 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:45,640 Speaker 2: You could not have a friend. This was very specifically prohibited. 532 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:50,320 Speaker 2: They call it particular friendship. If somebody saw you getting 533 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:53,680 Speaker 2: kind of closer to one sister than to another, you 534 00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:58,160 Speaker 2: would be called out on it. They were afraid that 535 00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,400 Speaker 2: if you got too close to somebody, everybody else would 536 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,960 Speaker 2: feel excluded. And then the other fear was that particular 537 00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:10,560 Speaker 2: friendship was kind of a name for like relationships of 538 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:14,200 Speaker 2: a homosexual nature. If you got too close to somebody, 539 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:15,920 Speaker 2: it was really you were playing with fire. 540 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:52,880 Speaker 1: I'm cutting in here right now because I think for 541 00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:54,600 Speaker 1: a story like this, it's important for you to know 542 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:57,320 Speaker 1: where I'm coming from. And to do that, I'd like 543 00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:00,240 Speaker 1: to introduce you to someone. Her name is Allen. 544 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:04,720 Speaker 7: So Hi, I'm Ailan, and I'm your sister Erica, like 545 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:09,600 Speaker 7: actual sister, not religious sister. Yeah, And over the past 546 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:13,359 Speaker 7: year we've actually been working on this podcast together. We've 547 00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:14,600 Speaker 7: been producing it together. 548 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:17,359 Speaker 1: I'm curious. I mean, when I called you and asked 549 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,120 Speaker 1: you to work on this project. What did you think? 550 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:22,800 Speaker 7: I thought, you know what, that makes a lot of sense. 551 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:23,400 Speaker 8: Really. 552 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:27,240 Speaker 7: I think it's because, you know, we went to Catholic 553 00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:30,040 Speaker 7: school when we were young, even though we weren't Catholic, 554 00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:33,520 Speaker 7: and we had nuns as teachers, and I think you 555 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,040 Speaker 7: really looked up to them. 556 00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:38,239 Speaker 1: Erica, Yeah, I looked up to them, and I was 557 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:42,080 Speaker 1: also really interested in them. Do you remember they lived 558 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,640 Speaker 1: in a house, like right by the school. It was 559 00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:46,799 Speaker 1: down the drive from the school. We'd pass it every day. 560 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:47,560 Speaker 1: It was white. 561 00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,120 Speaker 7: Oh yeah, yeah. 562 00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,359 Speaker 1: Whenever we went past that house, I would look at 563 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:54,880 Speaker 1: it and just wonder what their lives were like in 564 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,160 Speaker 1: that house, Like what are the rooms they're sleeping in? 565 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,520 Speaker 1: How did they become nuns? Like how do you make 566 00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,760 Speaker 1: that choice? It's weird to look back, but I actually 567 00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,719 Speaker 1: think in second grade I made a list of all 568 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:08,080 Speaker 1: the things I wanted to be when I grew up, 569 00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,279 Speaker 1: which was a really long list, but one of the 570 00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:13,680 Speaker 1: things I included was to be a nun, which is 571 00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:16,200 Speaker 1: strange to think back on now, but I was really 572 00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:16,879 Speaker 1: taken with them. 573 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:17,839 Speaker 7: Yeah, you were. 574 00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,680 Speaker 1: I kind of feel like in a way this podcast, 575 00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:23,160 Speaker 1: it's like I'm getting to look inside that house, you know. 576 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:26,279 Speaker 1: You know, that's one reason I wanted to work on 577 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:29,880 Speaker 1: it with you, because you have a PhD in psychology 578 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,840 Speaker 1: and you're really interested in the extremes of human behavior 579 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:36,600 Speaker 1: and why people do what they do. And I feel 580 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:40,600 Speaker 1: like that's a big part of this too, because the 581 00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:43,439 Speaker 1: missionaries and charity, it's an intense way of life. 582 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:48,200 Speaker 7: Yeah, when I first heard about this story, I thought 583 00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:52,400 Speaker 7: there would be a lot of beautiful moments and also 584 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:56,080 Speaker 7: how life is an EMC is difficult at times, you know, 585 00:35:56,320 --> 00:36:01,759 Speaker 7: But I guess what we ended up finding There was 586 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:07,560 Speaker 7: a lot more darkness than I realized. And you know, 587 00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:11,439 Speaker 7: just hearing these women talk about even how years after 588 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:14,799 Speaker 7: leaving they were having nightmares about times as an MC, 589 00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:19,440 Speaker 7: I don't know. It's just hard to grapple with all that. 590 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:24,759 Speaker 7: It's just hard to keep all the beautiful stories and 591 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,719 Speaker 7: all the dark ones in my head at once, and 592 00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,160 Speaker 7: so I'm constantly changing how I feel about this. 593 00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:45,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a lot more complicated than I thought early on. 594 00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:48,000 Speaker 1: Maybe a week into Mary's time at the convent, she 595 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:49,600 Speaker 1: saw what it was like to be on the wrong 596 00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,080 Speaker 1: end of a rule. It was the end of the day, 597 00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:55,239 Speaker 1: so Mary took her nightly shower. Then she walked out 598 00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:56,360 Speaker 1: of the bathing room. 599 00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,840 Speaker 2: So I'm there with my bucket full of my dirty 600 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,520 Speaker 2: I'm wearing my night dress, and I walk out the door, 601 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,759 Speaker 2: and immediately standing right there so I can't even move, 602 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:12,600 Speaker 2: is Sister Carmeline. And then she says, sister Mary, you 603 00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:13,520 Speaker 2: took the shower. 604 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:18,520 Speaker 8: I said, yes, sister, And she says. 605 00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:21,640 Speaker 2: And you did it last night too. I heard the 606 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:25,239 Speaker 2: water falling. You took the shower, yes, sister, have you 607 00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,880 Speaker 2: no shame? I mean, it was really She was getting 608 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,080 Speaker 2: very upset. She ended up calling me all sorts of 609 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:34,600 Speaker 2: names that I was vain and lazy and immodest. And 610 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:37,719 Speaker 2: I could not figure this out. What on earth had 611 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:40,600 Speaker 2: I done that was wrong? The water coming from the 612 00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:44,160 Speaker 2: shower head was cold water. I hadn't broken poverty by 613 00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:48,680 Speaker 2: turning on the hot one. I hadn't taken very long. 614 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,320 Speaker 2: I was really pretty quick about it. I couldn't understand. 615 00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:55,160 Speaker 1: Earlier that day, Sister Carmeline had taught the Aspirans how 616 00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:58,560 Speaker 1: to respond when corrected. You were supposed to stay silent, 617 00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:01,960 Speaker 1: never talk back, and only speak when it's clear your 618 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:05,000 Speaker 1: superior is done then there was only one thing you 619 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:08,120 Speaker 1: could say, thank you, sister, Sorry sister. 620 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:10,799 Speaker 2: And so all the while my mind is racing, trying 621 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,799 Speaker 2: to figure out what on earth I've done wrong. At 622 00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:18,040 Speaker 2: the same time, this instruction is coming back. Stand there, silent, 623 00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:23,399 Speaker 2: like Jesus before Pilot, sister Carmeline had said. And even 624 00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:26,279 Speaker 2: that morning that had caused a little confusion for me, 625 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:30,760 Speaker 2: because I knew before Pilot Jesus did not stand silent. 626 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:35,280 Speaker 2: Jesus and Pilot had a conversation, and Jesus talks about 627 00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:39,560 Speaker 2: the truth. Pilot asks what is truth. There's this dialogue 628 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:43,520 Speaker 2: between them. Jesus was silent before King Herod when he 629 00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:46,680 Speaker 2: was brought before him. But at the end I could 630 00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:51,560 Speaker 2: only say those five words, thank you, sister, Sorry, sister. 631 00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:56,440 Speaker 1: The next morning, Mary asked another sister what she done wrong. 632 00:38:57,120 --> 00:39:01,040 Speaker 1: Emcees don't take showers. She said, instead, you're supposed to 633 00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,080 Speaker 1: pour water over yourself with a tin can. 634 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,239 Speaker 2: And then at the end I just said thank you 635 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,120 Speaker 2: and just kind of tapped her on the arm, and 636 00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:10,879 Speaker 2: she got so furious. She said, no, don't touch, don't touch. Yeah, 637 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,960 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I can't do anything right. 638 00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:21,320 Speaker 1: Mary started her training with eleven other women. Six months later, 639 00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:25,040 Speaker 1: only she and one other aspirant remained. Each time a 640 00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:28,000 Speaker 1: sister left, it felt abrupt. They'd only find out about 641 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,920 Speaker 1: it after the fact from their mistress, no explanation, just 642 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:34,080 Speaker 1: that they'd left. The remaining sisters didn't get to say goodbye, 643 00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,759 Speaker 1: and they weren't allowed to talk about it. It made 644 00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:38,400 Speaker 1: Mary wonder about her own vocation. 645 00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:42,920 Speaker 2: Inside of me. There were all these questions about so 646 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,799 Speaker 2: what does it mean to be called? And how do 647 00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:47,160 Speaker 2: you know if you're called? 648 00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:50,240 Speaker 1: Mary prayed over and over to know whether she should 649 00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:51,560 Speaker 1: go home or stay. 650 00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:55,200 Speaker 2: And it just always came back to this, this tug, 651 00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:59,920 Speaker 2: this poll to come and join Mother Teresa in fi 652 00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:02,920 Speaker 2: following Jesus. It was like, Yes, this is what I 653 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:03,759 Speaker 2: was meant to do. 654 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:04,560 Speaker 3: This is it. 655 00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,440 Speaker 1: Mary finished her aspirancy, so she was ready for the 656 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:11,319 Speaker 1: next step. And I should say there are a lot 657 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:14,160 Speaker 1: of steps to become an MC or any kind of nun. 658 00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,040 Speaker 1: They each have different names and it can get confusing, 659 00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:20,600 Speaker 1: but don't worry about it. I'll help you along the way. Basically, 660 00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,879 Speaker 1: first you're in training, then for a while you take 661 00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:26,000 Speaker 1: vows that last a year, and finally you take life 662 00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:30,200 Speaker 1: long vows but Mary says, even before those final vows, 663 00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:34,160 Speaker 1: Mother Teresa believed you were committed for life. Any urge 664 00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:35,600 Speaker 1: to leave was the devil's temptation. 665 00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:39,520 Speaker 2: Yes, in the book it says you take your vows 666 00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:41,520 Speaker 2: for one year, but you know in your heart you 667 00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:43,959 Speaker 2: do not tell Jesus yes for one year, you say 668 00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:47,839 Speaker 2: yes for your entire life. I think Mother Teresa took 669 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:51,279 Speaker 2: everything to its most radical conclusion. 670 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,840 Speaker 1: It's a lot of pressure for anyone, especially a teenager. 671 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,000 Speaker 1: At this point, Mary was ready to become what's called 672 00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:01,000 Speaker 1: a postulant, and for that she was sent to Rome. 673 00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:04,959 Speaker 2: I arrived in Rome at the beginning of nineteen seventy eight. 674 00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:06,919 Speaker 2: I was still nineteen years old. 675 00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:10,840 Speaker 1: Rome was full of life and history. The Colosseum, the 676 00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:14,479 Speaker 1: Roman Forum, the Pantheon, they were all nearby. At the time. 677 00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:17,400 Speaker 1: The city was in turmoil too, fights in the streets, 678 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:21,319 Speaker 1: new divorce at abortion laws that led to protests. But 679 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:25,040 Speaker 1: Mary's life centered around the convent at the San Gregorio Church, 680 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:30,200 Speaker 1: A little world inside this bustling city. Across a gravel 681 00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:32,919 Speaker 1: yard and through a gate was the convent, a block 682 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:36,480 Speaker 1: of low cement buildings. As a postulant, she still wore 683 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:40,360 Speaker 1: her own skirt and blouse. No sorry. Yet, whenever she 684 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:43,359 Speaker 1: felt overwhelmed, she remembered mother's words. 685 00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:47,600 Speaker 2: You're here. That means God called you here, and now 686 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:50,080 Speaker 2: you must be faithful for life. 687 00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:53,440 Speaker 1: After postulancy, Mary became a novice, and that meant it 688 00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:55,560 Speaker 1: was time to take a new name. Once she picked 689 00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:57,480 Speaker 1: for herself sister. 690 00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:02,160 Speaker 2: Donata, Donata and freely given. 691 00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:06,920 Speaker 1: There is also a ceremony. Mary and seven other sisters 692 00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,080 Speaker 1: lined up in a chapel in front of Mother Teresa. 693 00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:13,360 Speaker 1: One by one, Mother called the sisters by their new names. 694 00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:18,560 Speaker 1: When Mary heard Mother Teresa call her new name, Sister Donata, 695 00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,920 Speaker 1: it felt like a wave crested over her. It carried 696 00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:24,680 Speaker 1: away Mary, the postulant who struggled with all the rules. 697 00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:28,400 Speaker 2: And so I suppose in that since my old self 698 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:29,960 Speaker 2: was decreasing. 699 00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:35,640 Speaker 1: Mother handed her new clothes. In a few moments, Mary's 700 00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,600 Speaker 1: skirt and blouse would be gone, forever, replaced by the 701 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:42,759 Speaker 1: white sarres of the missionaries of charity. Mother had Mary 702 00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:46,400 Speaker 1: kiss the habit. She said, let the world be nothing 703 00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:50,640 Speaker 1: to you, and you nothing to the world. Then a 704 00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,879 Speaker 1: sister handed Mother Teresa a pair of scissors to take 705 00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:55,480 Speaker 1: the first snip of Mary's hair. 706 00:42:57,239 --> 00:42:59,759 Speaker 2: Mother Teresa cut off just one little lock of hair 707 00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:01,080 Speaker 2: and laid it on a tray. 708 00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:09,160 Speaker 1: Another sister cut off Mary's ponytail. They were all singing 709 00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,120 Speaker 1: this song, I. 710 00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:21,360 Speaker 8: Have decided to follow Jesus. I have decided to follow Jesus. 711 00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:25,960 Speaker 8: I have decided to follow Jesus. 712 00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:37,080 Speaker 2: No turning back, no turning back. And we got dressed 713 00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:39,960 Speaker 2: in our new clothes. And then as we were leaving 714 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,440 Speaker 2: to go back into the chapel, we were given that 715 00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:46,120 Speaker 2: ponytail to hold into our hands, and we were told 716 00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:48,960 Speaker 2: that this is like the bouquet of flowers that a 717 00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:52,520 Speaker 2: young bride would carry to her wedding. And so we 718 00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:56,359 Speaker 2: brought that ponytail, holding it in our hands, and laid 719 00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:59,200 Speaker 2: it there in front of the altar in a little 720 00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:00,480 Speaker 2: basket that was there. 721 00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,960 Speaker 1: After the ceremony, Mother Teresa ate dinner with the new novices. 722 00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,160 Speaker 1: Mother explained that cutting their hair was a sign of 723 00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:14,320 Speaker 1: a sacred commitment to God. Once dinner was over, grand 724 00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:19,000 Speaker 1: silence began, like every evening, no talking aloud until breakfast 725 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:24,400 Speaker 1: the next day. But that night something unusual happened, without 726 00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:25,600 Speaker 1: anyone saying a word. 727 00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:29,640 Speaker 2: One of the sisters began to pull each of us 728 00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:34,239 Speaker 2: new novices aside, and that she signed to us that 729 00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:38,160 Speaker 2: we should follow her, and we went into a back room. 730 00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:42,400 Speaker 2: A fire was burning and so the room was quite hot. 731 00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:48,200 Speaker 2: The ceremony wasn't over yet, no one spoke. There were 732 00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:50,600 Speaker 2: four stools in the middle of the room. There were 733 00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:53,880 Speaker 2: eight of us novices waiting there wondering what on earth 734 00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:57,080 Speaker 2: was going on. And then the first four got motioned 735 00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,279 Speaker 2: to sit on the stools. 736 00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:03,440 Speaker 1: The professed sisters held scissors while Mary watched. They were 737 00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:07,239 Speaker 1: moved to the novice's headpieces. They trammed what was left 738 00:45:07,239 --> 00:45:07,680 Speaker 1: of their. 739 00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:10,879 Speaker 2: Hair, cutting it shorter and shorter and shorter. 740 00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:12,120 Speaker 1: Down to the scalp. 741 00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:15,680 Speaker 2: The sisters were saying, Hail Mary, full of grace, and 742 00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:19,800 Speaker 2: we were answering, Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us. 743 00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:23,800 Speaker 2: And I remember one was had tears in her eyes 744 00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:26,799 Speaker 2: as her hair was falling, and others were just kind 745 00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:29,239 Speaker 2: of sitting there with their eyes shut as tight as 746 00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:33,480 Speaker 2: they could. That was kind of kind of frightening to 747 00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:36,000 Speaker 2: see it all happened all at once like that. It 748 00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:37,120 Speaker 2: became very real. 749 00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:40,879 Speaker 1: Then it was Mary's turn to sit on a stool. 750 00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:47,000 Speaker 2: And cutting started. There's very little hair there and now 751 00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,760 Speaker 2: there's less, and there's less, until there was really just 752 00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:52,880 Speaker 2: just nothing, as close as you could get with a 753 00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:53,759 Speaker 2: pair of scissors. 754 00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:05,000 Speaker 1: After it was done, someone handed Mary a bucket of water, 755 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:07,720 Speaker 1: so she took it to the bathing room to wash herself. 756 00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:11,920 Speaker 2: Just as I was finishing my bath, at this horrible 757 00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:15,080 Speaker 2: smell came through the bathing room door. It was just 758 00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:23,160 Speaker 2: like this acrid, awful, awful smell. And I followed that 759 00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:26,279 Speaker 2: smell back into the room where our hair had been cut, 760 00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:29,480 Speaker 2: and I saw there our novice mistress was tossing our 761 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:33,719 Speaker 2: ponytails into that fire, and just tossing our hair into 762 00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:40,520 Speaker 2: the fire. And I could hear again that hymn that 763 00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:44,719 Speaker 2: had been sung earlier that day. No turning back, No 764 00:46:44,880 --> 00:47:26,359 Speaker 2: turning back, And it really felt that way. 765 00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:44,960 Speaker 1: The Turning is written by Allen lance Lesser and Me. 766 00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:48,480 Speaker 1: Our producers are Allen lance Luster and Emily Foreman. Our 767 00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:52,240 Speaker 1: editor is Rob Rosenthal. Andrea Assuage is our digital producer. 768 00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:57,120 Speaker 1: Fact checking by Andrea Lopez Cruzado. Special thanks to Amy Gaines, 769 00:47:57,239 --> 00:48:01,720 Speaker 1: Sarah Olander, Catherine Joyce, Georgia Young, Beth Anne Macaluso, Travis 770 00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:05,680 Speaker 1: Dunlap and Consulting producer Mary Johnson. Her memoir and Unquenchable 771 00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:11,200 Speaker 1: Thirst provided inspiration for this series. President Reagan's remarks and 772 00:48:11,239 --> 00:48:13,600 Speaker 1: presentation of the Medal of Freedom to Mother Teresa and 773 00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:16,040 Speaker 1: her remarks in the Rose Garden on June twentieth, nineteen 774 00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:19,480 Speaker 1: eighty five were used courtesy of Ronald Reagan Presidential Library 775 00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:26,080 Speaker 1: under a Creative Commons license. Our executive producers are Jessica 776 00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:29,600 Speaker 1: Alpert and John Farrati at Rococo Punch and Katrina Norvelle 777 00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:32,880 Speaker 1: at iHeartMedia. Our theme music is by Matt Reid. For 778 00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:35,160 Speaker 1: photos and more details on the series, follow us on 779 00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:38,400 Speaker 1: Instagram at Rococo Punch. You can reach out via email 780 00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:43,160 Speaker 1: to the Turning at rococopunch dot com I America Lance. 781 00:48:43,440 --> 00:49:27,760 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.