WEBVTT - Chiquis and Emilio: Part One 0:00:03.720 --> 0:00:06.560 Living with someone before getting married is so much better. 0:00:06.720 --> 0:00:09.680 Yeah. I think we need to fully understand who the 0:00:09.720 --> 0:00:13.600 person is before making such a big decision in our life. 0:00:13.720 --> 0:00:15.920 There are times when I want to kiss a girl. 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:19.560 It doesn't bother me. I see human beings. Love is love, 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:23.360 and if you've dated some girl before, I totally accept that. 0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:26.240 I think we're just practicing and letting things be right. 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:28.040 When it comes to a kid, I think it's also 0:00:28.120 --> 0:00:29.920 growing on you. I think it's growing on you. 0:00:30.200 --> 0:00:33.000 I have had a little baby fever lately. Yeah, for sure. 0:00:38.920 --> 0:00:42.519 Hello everyone, and welcome back to your favorite podcast, Cheeky's 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:45.240 in Chill. Today I'm joined by one of my favorite 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:48.720 people in the entire world, my boyfriend Emilio, and we're 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:51.519 going to get really personal today. We're going to talk 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:54.360 about how our relationship has evolved, and we're also going 0:00:54.400 --> 0:00:56.800 to address a topic that's been brought up quite a bit. 0:00:57.120 --> 0:00:59.240 So if you want to hear more, stay tuned. This 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:08.759 is cheek and Chill. Sitting here with me right now 0:01:08.920 --> 0:01:12.840 is my love, Emilio Sanchez. He's a super talented photographer 0:01:12.880 --> 0:01:15.440 based in la who has worked with everyone from Becky 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:17.840 g to the late Kobe Bryant and for those of 0:01:17.880 --> 0:01:20.240 you who don't know, he's also photographed me a bunch 0:01:20.240 --> 0:01:23.680 of times, including my book cover Unstoppable and also for 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:27.760 my album Avena. Hi, my love, how are you Hi? 0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:28.600 I'm doing great. 0:01:30.160 --> 0:01:31.760 I wish you guys could see him. He looks so 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:32.600 nervous right now. 0:01:33.640 --> 0:01:33.959 I'm good. 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:35.920 But you've been on here before, you've been on here. 0:01:36.040 --> 0:01:36.800 This is it's me. 0:01:37.319 --> 0:01:39.480 Yeah, and I love talking to you, so yeah, he. 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:41.560 Does you, guys. That's one thing I can tell you. 0:01:41.800 --> 0:01:45.000 Emilio is very good at communication. And yes, the first 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:47.080 time you were on we talked about our new relationship 0:01:47.120 --> 0:01:49.520 and the seven year you know, age gap, and today 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:52.960 we're going to give listeners a little update on how 0:01:52.960 --> 0:01:55.480 things have evolved and progressed. And I want you to 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:57.640 be completely honest and how you feel. This is like 0:01:57.680 --> 0:02:01.040 an open space. No one's listening, it's just when I copy. 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:05.320 And we're also going to talk about how you feel 0:02:05.400 --> 0:02:09.280 about me, you know, being fifteen twenty percent you know, lesbian, 0:02:09.960 --> 0:02:11.919 because that's been a topic that a lot of people, 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:14.600 you know, have been wanting to know about me liking 0:02:14.639 --> 0:02:16.440 women and how you feel about it. Are you ready? 0:02:17.040 --> 0:02:18.519 Absolutely all right? 0:02:18.800 --> 0:02:21.120 Okay, so before we get into it, I want to 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:24.120 give everyone a bit of context, you know, a little background, 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:26.880 not too much because we did an entire episode already 0:02:26.880 --> 0:02:29.200 on it, but for those of you who haven't listened 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:30.840 to that episode, shame on you go listen to it. 0:02:31.120 --> 0:02:35.079 We've been dating for about what two years and three months? Yes, 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:38.399 and yes we live together. A lot of people, I think, 0:02:38.560 --> 0:02:41.239 have that question, how long have we been living together? 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:45.320 Babe? November of our first year. 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:50.560 Yeah, it's been no. Really, Okay, I don't remember it. 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:53.959 Kind of it happened fairly quickly, you guys, But I 0:02:54.240 --> 0:02:56.080 don't know. It just kind of happened right Like. We 0:02:56.080 --> 0:02:59.640 didn't really talk about it. I just like wanted him 0:02:59.680 --> 0:03:01.639 to come over, and a lot I'm like, oh, what 0:03:01.639 --> 0:03:02.960 do you mean you're not going to spend the night tonight? 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:06.120 And then I'd go to his place. I don't know. 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:08.040 How do you feel about it? Yeah? 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:10.840 I feel like we had our healthy space in the beginning, 0:03:11.000 --> 0:03:15.240 and then it just the situations that came in our 0:03:15.240 --> 0:03:17.880 lives brought a new opportunity and I feel like we 0:03:17.960 --> 0:03:21.600 kind of got funneled into this new position in our 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:25.320 life and it led to us starting a new journey together, 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:26.200 and that's how I saw it. 0:03:26.600 --> 0:03:29.200 Mm hmmm. I think we both were just on the 0:03:29.240 --> 0:03:33.960 same page. We both had been in pretty emotionally heavy 0:03:34.000 --> 0:03:37.600 relationships right without talking about about anyone. But I think 0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:41.280 we were both very honest from the beginning, and he 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:44.760 was very open as to what he wanted, what he 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:48.920 didn't want, and so was I and it just happened. You, guys, 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:51.360 I'm telling you, like the day I met him, I 0:03:51.400 --> 0:03:53.400 had taken my iud at, which is birth control. I 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:55.200 had told myself, you know what, I'm going to be celibate. 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:57.760 I'm not going to date, and if I date, I'm 0:03:57.800 --> 0:03:59.320 not going to have sex. Like I just had this 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:02.520 whole idea in my mind. And I'm telling you, the 0:04:02.600 --> 0:04:05.600 universe and God had something different because that day when 0:04:05.640 --> 0:04:07.480 we made when because I had already met him before 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:10.200 a few months before, eight nine months before, but that 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:13.120 March of twenty twenty one, I just, I don't know, 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:15.240 there was just this click. I can't even explain it. 0:04:15.280 --> 0:04:18.640 And ever since then, I can count the times that 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:21.159 we haven't been together, like we've been together and spent 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:23.679 more time together than we haven't, right in these past 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:24.960 two years. 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:27.679 Yeah, but it's also like we enjoy it so much. 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:29.520 And I think that's also a reason why we moved 0:04:29.520 --> 0:04:33.159 in so early, was because we love the feeling that 0:04:33.160 --> 0:04:35.560 we've made each other feel. It's like, yeah, this is 0:04:35.600 --> 0:04:36.640 where I want to be around. 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:39.559 Mm hmm. You gave me a lot of peace, for sure, 0:04:40.000 --> 0:04:42.599 And I hadn't felt that in a long time, like 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:45.800 sleeping next to someone and just being at peace and 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:49.599 feeling safe. I hadn't felt that, I think ever, to 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:51.880 be honest. So when I felt that, it was just 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:53.919 like I got addicted to that feeling. Now I have 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:55.320 a question. I don't think i've ever asked you this. 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:59.240 What did your mom think about us moving in so quickly? 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:02.240 Or your grandma who we call Ama, she's like the 0:05:02.320 --> 0:05:02.960 best by the. 0:05:02.880 --> 0:05:07.200 Way, Well, a'ma oh, that's the one that was like, 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:09.800 don't get rid of your spot. Don't just move in 0:05:10.279 --> 0:05:12.120 because if she kicks you out and then you're not 0:05:12.160 --> 0:05:15.200 gonna have anywhere to go. And I was like, all right, Alma. 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:17.919 Well, his Alma was a little hesitant, a little worried 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:21.160 about us dating because of everything that she had heard 0:05:21.200 --> 0:05:23.599 and seen on TV. You know, like for a long time, 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:28.279 all these programs, these Spanish programs just didn't really know me, 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:31.040 and I think perceived me in a certain way or 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:33.120 made me put me in a different light. So when 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:34.920 I met her, like her and I are like best friends. 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:36.760 We love each other now so much. But I think 0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:38.960 she was worried for him, which is probably why she 0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:40.599 said that, which makes sense. And by the way, he 0:05:40.640 --> 0:05:43.000 still has his place. He still has a place in downtown, 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:45.920 he works out of there, and you know, but yeah, 0:05:45.920 --> 0:05:48.839 we lived together full time. That's just what it is, guys. 0:05:48.880 --> 0:05:50.720 And I'm fine with that because I'm sure a lot 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:53.080 of people are like, Okay, why not get married first 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:56.279 and then live together? I think living together personally, this 0:05:56.360 --> 0:05:59.400 is my personal opinion. Living with someone before getting married 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:01.960 is so much much better, I think, right. 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:05.680 Yeah, I think we need to fully understand who the 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:09.960 person is before making such a big decision in your life, 0:06:10.120 --> 0:06:13.360 and it gives us the space and time to really 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:15.560 get to know each other and see if it can 0:06:15.600 --> 0:06:17.520 work and how it can work and what we need 0:06:17.560 --> 0:06:18.520 to do to make it work. 0:06:19.120 --> 0:06:22.720 Yeah. I don't regret it at all. If anything, I 0:06:22.760 --> 0:06:26.200 think it's been pretty awesome. And of course it was 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:29.719 a little not uncomfortable. What's the right word. It was 0:06:29.760 --> 0:06:31.560 just we had to get adjusted, you know what I mean. 0:06:31.600 --> 0:06:34.120 Like there's certain ways that I want things, and I'm 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:38.600 very anal, very particular, but he is a type of 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:40.880 partner that wants to learn, and so do I. So 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:42.440 it's like, Okay, if I tell him, hey, I don't 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:44.440 like this or can you do this, he'll do it. 0:06:44.520 --> 0:06:46.560 Like we're both pretty good with that, right, Like if 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:48.840 there's something like you've told me. I'm not trying to 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:50.280 speak for you, but like you've told me, like if 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:52.760 I tell you I don't like something, like, I'm pretty 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:54.200 good with fixing it. 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:58.160 Yes, you're very yes, And that was something that surprised 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:01.960 me that you were very response to whatever I told you. 0:07:02.600 --> 0:07:06.479 And it might not sit with you well or as 0:07:06.560 --> 0:07:08.840 easy in the beginning when you first hear it, but 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:11.320 then once you're able to digest it on your own, 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:14.720 then you show me pretty quickly, you know, with the 0:07:14.760 --> 0:07:18.480 weeks after that, after I tell you, I see changers, 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:21.320 I see improvements. I see the effort, and that's, to me, 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:22.160 is the biggest thing. 0:07:22.680 --> 0:07:25.720 Well, thanks, I try, you know, I'm trying. I really am, 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:29.360 because I could be I don't think I'm controlling, right, 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:31.120 It's not that. It's more of like I could be 0:07:31.160 --> 0:07:35.160 a little said in my ways sort of things in 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:39.200 certain things. Yes, I admit to that, and he's taught 0:07:39.240 --> 0:07:43.680 me and through therapy as well, that a relationship is 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:47.600 all about compromising and even if the things feel uncomfortable 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:51.800 to you, it'll feel better together, if that makes sense, 0:07:52.040 --> 0:07:54.800 because I guess in a way I've been a little 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:58.680 bit of a of a fine this isn't working. I'm 0:07:58.680 --> 0:08:01.280 by you know, and that come from what I saw 0:08:01.320 --> 0:08:04.040 growing up. It's kind of like okay, next, you know, 0:08:04.240 --> 0:08:07.640 and that's not okay. A relationship is work. It's work 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:10.720 every single day. It's you choosing that person and also 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:14.240 being willing to see, hey, I have things I need 0:08:14.240 --> 0:08:15.680 to work on. I have things that I have to 0:08:15.800 --> 0:08:19.320 be better at, you know, just communication. You've lived with 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:20.679 someone else before, right, babe? 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:25.080 Tell our people, Yes, it wasn't as permanent as this. 0:08:25.080 --> 0:08:27.600 This is like the first time where it's like this 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:31.640 is our living situation and before it was more temporary. 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:35.560 So but having another person in your space, in your home, 0:08:36.280 --> 0:08:38.800 it does change things. 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:41.000 And what are what do you feel in your opinion, 0:08:41.040 --> 0:08:44.640 like are the challenges of living together like you and I. 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:49.000 I think it's just having to be open about how 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:53.280 someone else likes things and figuring out what those things are, 0:08:53.400 --> 0:08:55.880 what's important, what you like, how you like things done, 0:08:56.480 --> 0:08:59.200 and also expressing what I like and how I like 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:02.439 things done as well, and just talking about those things. 0:09:02.760 --> 0:09:05.320 It's something that you can't really plan out. We can't 0:09:05.360 --> 0:09:08.400 be like this is the plan for us to make 0:09:08.440 --> 0:09:11.160 this work. It's something that you have to experience and 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:13.439 things are going to come up, Emotions are going to 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:15.880 come up, and it's like we have to find out 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:18.199 why those motions come up and what I can do 0:09:18.240 --> 0:09:22.000 on my end help. Again, it's compromising and working with 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:24.199 each other to make those things work. And I feel 0:09:24.200 --> 0:09:25.800 like we do a pretty good job at that. 0:09:26.280 --> 0:09:28.920 Yeah, I was going to tell you that because I 0:09:28.960 --> 0:09:31.439 don't really have to tell him, hey, can you do this? 0:09:31.600 --> 0:09:34.800 It's very very rare. I cook, and he washes the dishes, 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:37.600 he loves to vacuum, he makes the bed like it's 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:41.080 fairly I don't know. I don't want to say easy, 0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:43.560 but it kind of has been where even if there's 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:46.840 something that bugs me, you know, like, for instance, he's 0:09:46.840 --> 0:09:49.480 not a messy guy, but he kind of leaves like 0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:51.520 his clothes just you know, on the other side of 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:53.160 the bed. He takes off his pants and his socks 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:55.640 and he just leaves it there. And like there are 0:09:55.679 --> 0:09:57.160 times when I pick it up, and then are times 0:09:57.160 --> 0:09:58.480 when I'm just like I'm just going to leave it there, 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:01.120 like I'm not you know, It's like I'm not gonna argue, 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:04.760 I'm not whatever. He's a brown as man. But I 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:06.400 got to pick and choose my battles. I'm not gonna 0:10:06.440 --> 0:10:10.280 like cause a fight over something so like minimal. But 0:10:10.320 --> 0:10:11.440 other than that, I mean. 0:10:11.679 --> 0:10:14.160 Yeah, I'm really trying to think of like the things 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:16.760 that I don't like that you do around the house. Yeah, 0:10:16.800 --> 0:10:19.840 And I honestly like I can't really think of anything. 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:22.080 Nothing comes on. I'm like, you're on it. You're on everything. 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:23.360 So it's pretty cool. 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:25.559 Oh thanks man. Thanks. I mean I don't cook it. 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:27.320 Maybe I don't cook as often as you like, maybe 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:29.040 because I know that's one thing that Johnny wishes I 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:30.400 did like cook a little bit more. 0:10:30.760 --> 0:10:32.559 I just I love when you cook, Like when I 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:34.680 know you you cut your bandanna on and you go 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:37.080 in the kitchen and I'm like, okay, it's about to 0:10:37.120 --> 0:10:37.720 go down. 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:40.719 Yeah, that's how they know. In the house I put 0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:42.240 on I've been down a but I'm a clean I'm 0:10:42.320 --> 0:10:50.920 get shit done. I want to talk a little bit, 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:53.520 just a tiny bit, because we have so many things 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:55.599 we got to talk about. But it's crazy to me, 0:10:55.679 --> 0:10:58.600 you guys, Emilio's gonna be thirty one soon, and he's 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:01.360 very much over his age. I never thought, and I 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:03.720 had told myself from my previous relationship, I'm not going 0:11:03.800 --> 0:11:05.840 to date anyone younger. I want a forty five year 0:11:05.840 --> 0:11:08.480 old man who has been married and divorced and has kids. 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:10.719 And I had this whole other idea. I'm telling you, 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:13.800 God said, wait a minute, hold your horses. I'm sending 0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:16.960 you this young guy who was very mature, very wise. 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:19.880 He's gonna teach you quite a bit and it's gonna 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:21.920 put your ass in your place. And it's a medio. 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:25.199 But you guys, he was kind of like a low 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:31.480 key fuck boy before me. Yes or no? Sure, yes, yes, 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:34.360 And I can't freaking believe it, you guys, Like when 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:36.439 he tells me some stories and how he was, I'm 0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:40.040 just like, what, I can't even imagine it, you know. 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:43.600 But the beautiful thing about him is that he says 0:11:43.679 --> 0:11:45.120 I was this way and I'm not proud of it. 0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:47.920 I feel really bad. I heard a lot of girls, 0:11:48.520 --> 0:11:51.839 and I appreciate that. I don't get jealous. If anything, 0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:53.520 I'm like, that's very nice of him to say. 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:53.760 Fuck. 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:55.520 If I couldn't go and apologize to these girls that 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:57.880 I hurt, I would, you know. But he also you 0:11:57.960 --> 0:12:01.600 see it as as what babe, like, you explain it absolutely. 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:05.040 That's something I tell myself a lot these days, is 0:12:05.240 --> 0:12:08.480 I'm just I'm glad everything happened when it happened. I'm 0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:10.679 grateful for the pain that I went through because it 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:13.800 wouldn't have made me who I am today. I hurt 0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:16.679 a lot of people. I was hurt by people, and 0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:20.200 it pushed me to a point where I was searching 0:12:20.320 --> 0:12:23.559 for why am I unhappy? Still? Why am I unhappy 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:26.280 in every situation that I'm in? And I always went 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:29.520 and looked for this like magic pill that was just 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:34.360 going to make everything better. And I realized that what 0:12:34.480 --> 0:12:36.840 I was looking for is I had to look within 0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:40.520 myself inward, and I think I avoided that for so long. 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:43.480 Or I also didn't know the techniques on how to 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:46.520 do that. And when I met you, I had the 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:49.000 biggest drive to be like, I have a clean plate here. 0:12:49.559 --> 0:12:52.319 What can I do to make sure that everything that 0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:56.559 has happened before doesn't happen again? And that starts with myself, 0:12:57.360 --> 0:13:02.320 my insecurities, my bad traits, that I have, any behavioral 0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:07.360 patterns that follow me, and I just decided it was 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:10.360 time to stop running from those things and really dig 0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:12.320 deep and you know change. 0:13:13.360 --> 0:13:15.559 And do you think it was because you were ready 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:17.839 as a man to have that in your life or 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:21.480 was it because you met me and you or was 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:23.000 it a little bit of both? Maybe? I don't know. 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:25.000 Do you think you would have been the same guy 0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:27.040 now if it was another girl for instance? 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:29.880 Yeah, that question, I don't know. I feel like, again 0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:31.439 I tell you this all the time, I feel like 0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:34.920 we were really mad for each other. So that just 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:39.240 comes with that. But even in my twenties, even when 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:43.319 all the pain was happening in my heart, I always 0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:45.839 knew what I wanted to be out. I know deep 0:13:45.920 --> 0:13:48.319 down I'm a good person. I have good intentions. I 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:53.240 just didn't know how to express that with people. Then 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:55.280 when I met you, I was at a point where 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:58.040 I'm like I was so desperate for something new and 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:01.400 something to change, and then you also made me want 0:14:01.440 --> 0:14:06.719 to Basically, I asked God to help me with the 0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:10.920 problems that I had, and he's not going to just say, hey, 0:14:11.920 --> 0:14:14.679 you're fixed. He's going to give you a situation where 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:18.040 you're tested and be like, Okay, you have insecurities. I'm 0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:19.440 going to give you the woman that's going to make 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:21.680 all of those insecurities come out. And it's up to 0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:25.040 you what to do with that, you know. And it 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:30.240 was our first year emotionally was really hard because I 0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:33.000 was very uncomfortable with a lot of things because of 0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:37.280 my career. Right just with everything you as a human being. 0:14:38.080 --> 0:14:40.360 It could be career things, it can be day to 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:44.600 day things. It just opens up a door to be 0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:48.440 able to work on yourselves. And Yeah, thankfully he brought 0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:51.240 a woman into my life that I've been able to 0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:54.760 go through that process with that's helped me a lot. 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:56.800 I know the work is on my end, but you 0:14:56.920 --> 0:15:00.520 have supported me at my weakness. You you're there for 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:02.960 me and you have been there for me as well. 0:15:03.280 --> 0:15:06.080 And this is I think we talked about this a 0:15:06.120 --> 0:15:09.200 little bit before, but I have also had to work 0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:12.600 on insecurities, you know, and people have asked me, how 0:15:12.640 --> 0:15:17.120 do you feel about Emilio taking pictures of beautiful women? 0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:21.600 And you know, they say all these things about photographers, 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:24.240 and I'm just like, I also am in a different 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:25.440 place in my life where I'm just like I know 0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:27.640 who I am. But also you make me feel very 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:30.040 safe from the very beginning. You guys, I never asked 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:32.160 for his location. He gave it to me himself. We 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:35.680 have each other's locations, each other's passwords to our phones. 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:38.480 Like it was just very different, Like it wasn't I 0:15:38.600 --> 0:15:41.040 had it was pulling teeth and because of it, like 0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:44.600 it just I don't know, it's just different, I think 0:15:44.640 --> 0:15:47.640 the first time, Yeah, like the first week I started dating, 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:49.320 I was in Waala, Lajara. Then you had to go 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:51.320 to where did you go with with Stilo? 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:53.120 Uh Costa Rica, Costa Rica. 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:55.600 There was a bunch of girls in thongs, big booty 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:58.200 bitches on the boat. I told myself, like I have 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:02.160 to work through this, like I cannot be that toxic girlfriend. 0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:04.120 I don't want to be that not. If anything, I 0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:06.520 didn't want to like even pretend to be different with him. 0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:09.520 I just didn't want to feel that those things anymore. 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:11.560 And sometimes I come up not gonna lie, but then 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:13.320 I'm like, you know what, no, Like I have to 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:15.400 be confident in who I am and in the man 0:16:15.520 --> 0:16:19.120 that I have, And sometimes we torment our mind so 0:16:19.280 --> 0:16:22.440 much with what could happen that we're not living and 0:16:22.560 --> 0:16:24.640 enjoying the moment. And I used to do that so much, 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:26.520 like oh my gosh, well what is he doing again? 0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:30.040 My past relationships very different. I didn't feel that piece 0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:34.200 that I feel here, but I know that we've talked 0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:36.000 about it, like things that have made you feel insecure 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:38.640 about my career, things that make me feel little insecure 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:41.760 about yours. But we communicate, and I think that is 0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:44.840 the biggest difference in this relationship is that we're very 0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:47.800 honest and we take care of each other's feelings. 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:51.440 I think yes. And also a big key to that 0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:56.240 is that we don't judge each other, because when insecurity 0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:57.840 has come up, it's so easy to be like, oh, 0:16:57.920 --> 0:17:01.960 you're insecure, you're this, and shame that person, and we 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:04.680 don't do that from that place. We are here for 0:17:04.760 --> 0:17:07.440 each other and be like, I know I can be like, hey, 0:17:08.400 --> 0:17:10.960 this bars me, and I know that you'll listen to 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:13.320 me and hear me out on why and then also 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:16.800 help me in the process of getting me to process 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:20.480 that insecurity to where it's not a problem anymore, and 0:17:21.200 --> 0:17:23.640 we work through it together. And that's I think that's 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:27.359 one of the biggest keys to the success in our relationship. 0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:29.440 For sure, and you're much better with that. To be honest, 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:32.200 there are times when you say things bother you and 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:34.560 I get upset, like initially, but then I'm like, no, wait, 0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:36.399 I have to put myself in is sshoes. I have 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:39.560 to understand. I take a little longer to process things, guys. 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:41.920 But now I feel like I'm quicker and I'm a 0:17:41.960 --> 0:17:43.760 little more open to it. At first, I was kind 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:44.920 of like, what the fuck. This is my job, this 0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:46.760 is what I got to do. Now I'm like, wait, 0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:48.920 this is a person that's important to me, and I 0:17:49.160 --> 0:17:52.160 have to figure out how to make this work because 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:53.879 he makes me happy and it can't just be well, 0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:57.159 this is my career, yes and no. So I have 0:17:57.280 --> 0:17:59.639 worked through that with my therapist, and you have been 0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:02.359 very paid and I appreciate that because again, I am 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:04.320 a little bit more stuck in my ways. But I'm 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:06.480 very proud of myself. I have gotten better, he said it. 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:06.800 Guys. 0:18:13.720 --> 0:18:15.320 One thing that has helped a lot is we've been 0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:20.080 microdosing together. We started microdosing together with psychedelics for how 0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:21.920 long we've it's been what nine months now. 0:18:22.040 --> 0:18:23.560 Yeah, it's been a little while and. 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:25.400 Now been a while, yeah, And I feel like it's 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:30.000 changed us as individuals and as a unit. We try 0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:33.760 to stay on the same schedule with microdosing because it's 0:18:33.800 --> 0:18:36.240 every what two to three days that we do it. Yeah, 0:18:36.359 --> 0:18:38.879 And we pray together and stuff, and I think that 0:18:39.000 --> 0:18:41.280 helps that we're on the same page, on the same frequency. 0:18:41.720 --> 0:18:44.760 Yeah. And something about that too. It's not just that 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:48.080 we're taking this pill and it's making us better. It's 0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:51.680 it is the praying. It is setting our attentions. I 0:18:51.880 --> 0:18:53.800 like to do it on the same schedule as you 0:18:53.920 --> 0:18:55.960 show that. To me, it makes us feel more connected. 0:18:56.280 --> 0:18:58.840 And if we set our intentions together and we pray 0:18:59.240 --> 0:19:01.480 and we do our little ritual and give each other 0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:04.520 a kiss, like, to me, that makes me feel like, hey, 0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:08.320 my partner's here on this healing process with me. To me, 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:09.120 that's everything. 0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:13.919 Yeah. And just for people that don't know what psychedelics are, 0:19:14.000 --> 0:19:16.480 they're basically mushrooms and I'm sure a lot of people 0:19:16.600 --> 0:19:19.160