1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:04,880 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need 2 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:08,760 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:12,520 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve RVFM dot com and 4 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:16,439 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter, huh, 5 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:18,639 Speaker 1: just like we're going to be reading this one live 6 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:23,440 Speaker 1: on the air, and you never know it could be yours, right, 7 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 1: it would be good. Buckle up, hold on tight, We 8 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 1: got it for you. Here it is draw Upberry letter. 9 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject best friends and lovers. Dear Stephen Shirley. 10 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:38,200 Speaker 1: I'm ashamed to write this letter, but here goes nothing. 11 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 1: I'm in my late forties and I'm married to a 12 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 1: wonderful man that can't satisfy all of my needs. He's 13 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:48,519 Speaker 1: a great father, and he's a great financial provider. I 14 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 1: have the house, car, clothes, jewelry, and everything else. In 15 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 1: addition to all of that, I have a great group 16 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,680 Speaker 1: of friends and my husband never complains when I want 17 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: to have a girls' night out or girl on a 18 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,160 Speaker 1: vacation with my girls. He doesn't even mind that my 19 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,320 Speaker 1: best friend is a guy and he's been in my 20 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,320 Speaker 1: life since I was fifteen years old, and he picks 21 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,319 Speaker 1: up the slack in the one area that my husband 22 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 1: falls short, the bedroom. We've been having sex for over 23 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:20,680 Speaker 1: twenty five years. He was my first and the best 24 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 1: I've ever had so far. I was so in love 25 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 1: with him in my early twenties, but he never chose 26 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 1: me as his girlfriend. We've kept our secret affair going 27 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:33,320 Speaker 1: for years. He told me that he's going to propose 28 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 1: to a special girl soon and he wants me to 29 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 1: meet her. It was like he knocked the wind out 30 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 1: of me, and my knees crumbled. I literally fell right 31 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,319 Speaker 1: in front of him. I knew other girls he dated, 32 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 1: but I didn't care because he'd always come and make 33 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,760 Speaker 1: love to me whenever I needed him. We kissed and 34 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 1: caressed each other, and he always took his time with 35 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: it like we were a couple. Then we'd get dressed 36 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 1: and go hang out like we were best friends. It 37 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 1: was sneaky and fun, and it helped me get through 38 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: years of terrible sex with my husband. Now he's going 39 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:12,520 Speaker 1: to get married and the dynamic will change. I've had 40 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,639 Speaker 1: fantasies of him begging me to leave my husband for him, 41 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: but now it is very clear that he's overlooked me again. 42 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,920 Speaker 1: I want to bake, I want to break free. But 43 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: how do I Are you saying you want to break 44 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 1: free of your marriage or you want to break free 45 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 1: of him? You want to break free of him that 46 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:35,239 Speaker 1: hold he has on you. All right, well, this is 47 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,360 Speaker 1: a question you already know the answer to, and of 48 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 1: course you know that's you gotta get yourself together. You 49 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,360 Speaker 1: got to get some sort of self control here and 50 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 1: stop sleeping with your friend. Close that chapter, walk away 51 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 1: and never look back. So the question is what do 52 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 1: you want from Steven me? I mean, because I hear 53 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 1: no remorse in your letter. I hear nothing about you 54 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: love or care for your husband. I mean, you said 55 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 1: earlier that he was wonderful man. All I hear is 56 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:07,079 Speaker 1: you pining over your soon to be ex boyfriend slash 57 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:11,480 Speaker 1: side piece. Well he's out now, he's out. The problem 58 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,799 Speaker 1: for you is that you guys have been going at 59 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 1: it for twenty five years, and it's not so easy 60 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: for you to just pick up and leave. You have emotions, 61 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 1: you have strong feelings invested in. This doesn't sound like 62 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,519 Speaker 1: he does. Though you said that he dropped you again 63 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,640 Speaker 1: in the letter. It sounds like it was just some 64 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 1: easy sex for him. With you. It was there, it 65 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: was available, so he did it. I mean, now he's 66 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: moving on with someone he actually cares about. So I'm 67 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 1: asking you please let him do that, because it sounds 68 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 1: like you're a little hesitant here to let him, you know, 69 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 1: get out of your grass. So let him go without 70 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 1: any interference from you. It's over and you need to 71 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 1: concentrate on your own house. You have a whole husband 72 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 1: that you've been cheating on for the longest. Uh, try 73 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,680 Speaker 1: to salvage what you what you can, if you can, 74 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: if he doesn't know about the affair, and if that's 75 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 1: not what you want, leave and let your husband be free. 76 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 1: I mean, that's all. That's all I've got for you. 77 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: All right, that's it, Steve, Wow, this letter is gonna 78 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 1: be fun. This is gonna be fun. Um, how much 79 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 1: time do I have right now? Because I want to 80 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 1: do this all at one, So I got a couple 81 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,839 Speaker 1: of minutes here, So let me set up what I'm 82 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:36,600 Speaker 1: going to do when we come back. First of all, 83 00:04:37,279 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 1: whenever a person writes that I'm ashamed to write this 84 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 1: letter but here goes nothing, that's because they know this 85 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,479 Speaker 1: letter ain't going to be about nothing. And she did 86 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:50,720 Speaker 1: not disappoint This woman is in her late forties. Now 87 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: get this, what married to a wonderful man? How many 88 00:04:55,680 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 1: women would love to say that that can't satisfy all 89 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:05,479 Speaker 1: of my needs. Okay, he's a great father, he's a 90 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:10,599 Speaker 1: great financial provanda provider. I have the house, car closed, 91 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:13,800 Speaker 1: jewelry and everything else. In addition to all that, I 92 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:16,039 Speaker 1: got a great group of friends. And my husband never 93 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,000 Speaker 1: complains that I want to have a girl's night out, 94 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 1: a go on vacation with my girls. He doesn't even 95 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: mind that my best friend is a guy and he's 96 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: been in my life since I was fifteen years old. 97 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 1: Let me stop right now. Your husband ain't that stupid. 98 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:35,320 Speaker 1: Please understand, he don't mind you going on vacation. He 99 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 1: don't mind that's your best friend. Don't think that men 100 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:46,000 Speaker 1: are that stupid, lady, because sometimes even though you all 101 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 1: are smarter than we are, sometimes we know some stuff, 102 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: but we know how to keep it close to the vest, 103 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 1: because ain't no need to exposing you and run the 104 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:01,359 Speaker 1: risk of exposing me. So I don't think your husband 105 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 1: is as naive and as dumb as you take. Satisfying 106 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:08,040 Speaker 1: you might not have to be a priority, especially if 107 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:12,240 Speaker 1: you're doing something somewhere else. But then, if he is, 108 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:17,039 Speaker 1: you bought this all upon yourself. I know I bought 109 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 1: it on myself. I owe no blame to no one else. 110 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: And now I realize I can't get over you. Frank You, 111 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:33,360 Speaker 1: Beverly and Maids, my favorite maid song. When I come back, 112 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna really have to tell you something. Thank you. 113 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 1: All right, we'll let hurt to step he took a break. 114 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:47,479 Speaker 1: He'll be back at twenty three minutes after the hour. 115 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:51,040 Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letters, subject best friends and lovers. We'll get 116 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:54,559 Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening to Steve 117 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve, let's recap 118 00:06:57,839 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 1: today's strawberry letter. The subject best friends and lovers. Yeah, 119 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 1: this letter right here. This woman in her late forties 120 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 1: has a wonderful husband, does everything a man is supposed 121 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: to do, provides great father, the great husband. Provided she's 122 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:17,240 Speaker 1: got claws, closed jewelry. She got everything she wanted. She 123 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:20,000 Speaker 1: even got a great group of friends, and she goes down. 124 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,720 Speaker 1: Her husband don't mind she gonna vacation with her girlfriends, 125 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: and he really don't mind that her best friend is 126 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 1: a guy and she's been sleeping with this guy since 127 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 1: they were fifteen. Twenty five years they've been sleeping together. 128 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:40,240 Speaker 1: That's in the letter. That's a fact. Now your husband 129 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 1: ain't giving it to you in the bedroom. Like he's 130 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:47,200 Speaker 1: this boy that's your best friend. He's your first and 131 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,520 Speaker 1: best that you've ever had so as far, so far 132 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 1: as you said, you've been in love with him in 133 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: your early twenties. But he never chose me as his girlfriend. Okay, 134 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:02,440 Speaker 1: this is very important. Ever, he never chose me as 135 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 1: his Girlfred. We've kept our secret of fair going for years. 136 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,120 Speaker 1: He told me that he's going to propose to a 137 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: special girl soon and he wants me to meet her. 138 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 1: It was like he knocked the wind out of me, 139 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: and my knees crumbled. I literally fell right in front 140 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,560 Speaker 1: of him. Look, I knew other girls he dated, but 141 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 1: I didn't care because it has always come and make 142 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 1: love to me whenever I needed him. We kissed and 143 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 1: carressed each other. He always took a time with it, 144 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: like we wore a couple. Then we get dressing, go 145 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: hang out like we were best friends. It was sneaky 146 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 1: and fun. Okay, listen, remember that line. It was sneaky 147 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 1: and fun, and it helped me to get through years 148 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 1: of terrible sect with my husband. Now he's going to 149 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 1: get married, get married in the dynamical change. I've had 150 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 1: fantasies of him begging me to leave my husband for him, 151 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 1: But now it's very clear that he's overlooked me again. 152 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 1: I want to break But how do I surely ask 153 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,680 Speaker 1: the best question? Surely said? Are you trying to break 154 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:08,680 Speaker 1: fee of him or your husband? Because your fantasy is 155 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,679 Speaker 1: for one day him to come and beg you to 156 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,520 Speaker 1: leave your husband, which you would do. But you've been 157 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 1: sleeping with this man behind your husband's back for all 158 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 1: these times, and your knees buckled and you failed. When 159 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 1: he told you he was gonna marry a special girl, 160 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:32,280 Speaker 1: well that was shocking to you. He's never chosen you 161 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 1: even as his girlfriend before. You ain't even been girlfriend. 162 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 1: Why the hell are you hanging home for wife? I'm confused. 163 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 1: Then you said he's overlooked me again again. That's been 164 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:55,839 Speaker 1: it from always. I want to break free? But how well? 165 00:09:55,880 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 1: Here we go? I have written seven point points that 166 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:06,680 Speaker 1: I need for you to soak into your head to 167 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:11,560 Speaker 1: help you break free. Because you're free, You're not in 168 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:16,440 Speaker 1: you caught up on your own and you bought this 169 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:20,800 Speaker 1: on yourself. So how do you break free? Let's come 170 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 1: to seven points of contention, these things you need to 171 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 1: get in your head. Number one you easy, you easy, 172 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:40,720 Speaker 1: You're right down you easy, You're right there, easy, available 173 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,280 Speaker 1: you just that you tag you and I feel like 174 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,240 Speaker 1: doing something? Won't come? Do you you ready for the 175 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:52,440 Speaker 1: next one? You ain't the one? Oh, you need to 176 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,560 Speaker 1: get an I got seven things lady that you need 177 00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 1: to get through your head. You ain't the one. You 178 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 1: ain't ever build the one. You've always been the other one? 179 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,600 Speaker 1: You have never been the one. What is your shock 180 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:11,440 Speaker 1: that he don't want you as a wife? You're ready 181 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 1: for number three? Yes? Bring it? You're not wifey material. 182 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:22,719 Speaker 1: I'm just telling you the truth, and you've proven it 183 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:27,200 Speaker 1: by the way you acting as a wife. Yeah, you've 184 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:31,920 Speaker 1: been cheating on your man for twenty five years. Horrible, 185 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:39,840 Speaker 1: this fun, sneaky fun you've been having. You're not wifey material. 186 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:44,440 Speaker 1: You've given us a letter full of proof. But you 187 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 1: want this man who know that to make you his wife? 188 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 1: How you ready for number four? Bring it? Let go? 189 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:57,080 Speaker 1: Are you ready for number four? I can have you 190 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 1: even when you get mad, Mary, just do he can 191 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 1: have you even when you getting married? So why he 192 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 1: got to marry you? Are you on it? You're ready 193 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:16,240 Speaker 1: for number five? I'm ready, let's go, let's do it. 194 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 1: Huh yes, yes ready? You let me use you? Why 195 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:27,120 Speaker 1: would I choose you? One more time? On that one boy? 196 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 1: I said you let me use you? Why would I 197 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 1: choose you? That's number five? You need to get these 198 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 1: in your head. You you won't number six? Yes, How 199 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:45,120 Speaker 1: you gonna be first when clearly you love second? You've 200 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 1: got a minister. How you gonna be first when clearly 201 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 1: you love seconds? In Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM, 202 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,959 Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast 203 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:01,240 Speaker 1: done demand, coming up at forty six minutes after the 204 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,960 Speaker 1: hour of Sports Talk with the Nephew and for Junior. 205 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,679 Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to this Dave Harvey Morning 206 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 1: Show