WEBVTT - Fortune Favors the Bald 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:05.480 Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a 0:00:05.480 --> 0:00:09.200 week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants 0:00:09.200 --> 0:00:12.480 of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He 0:00:12.560 --> 0:00:15.480 treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the 0:00:15.600 --> 0:00:19.600 rich pill poppers in the penthouse, the clearing House of 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:23.439 hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour 0:00:23.560 --> 0:00:32.920 with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere. 0:00:32.960 --> 0:00:35.120 We are back at it on a Saturday. I know 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:39.960 you're excited. Calm down here another edition of the Fifth 0:00:39.960 --> 0:00:44.440 Hour were Ben Mallard in Danny g Radio Because four 0:00:44.600 --> 0:00:49.160 hours a night are not enough, eight days a week 0:00:49.240 --> 0:00:52.919 now the phones are ringing, people are fired up here. 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:56.480 Danny's unbelievable. Look at that, everyone, every line of the building, 0:00:57.000 --> 0:00:59.920 just like that. I can't believe it. And how do 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:02.120 they know we're here? It's a podcast. You don't know 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:04.440 when we record the podcast. We could record it three 0:01:04.480 --> 0:01:08.520 days ago, we could record it today. Magic of a podcast, Danny. 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:11.520 We cut hours off our lives, I mean, our beauty 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:15.600 sleep to do this. That's right, that's right. We're getting uglier. 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:18.840 Believe it or not, I know it's true. It's true. 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:22.000 We're getting a little uglier by the day. But listen, 0:01:22.040 --> 0:01:25.200 I'm excited about this podcast. You know, Saturday is all 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:29.040 about us. It's all about us, and who doesn't like 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:32.440 talking about themselves? Right, so, and it's all about the 0:01:32.600 --> 0:01:37.280 greatness of the Raiders. Come down, Come down that it 0:01:37.400 --> 0:01:41.280 is a playoff weekend. We'll find out now will the 0:01:41.400 --> 0:01:44.080 Raiders live to play another day or will they meet 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:50.000 there to minds? I have no idea. Can you tell 0:01:50.080 --> 0:01:52.280 Danny I'm fired up to have the sound effect machine 0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:56.760 here as always? Yes, do you have a Josh Jacob's button? 0:01:57.760 --> 0:02:00.600 But Baby, if the Raiders do win, I know they 0:02:00.640 --> 0:02:03.240 can say this motherfucker just like that to the Bengals 0:02:03.240 --> 0:02:06.080 because the Bengals are expecting to win that game, and 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:09.280 there's a chance of snow, right, so they're gonna really 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:12.639 need the running game because Derek Carr is not always 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:15.840 done very well in snow games or cold games for 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:19.560 that matter. Are you saying there? Car is a Californian 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:25.400 warm weather cliche quarterback. He is definitely a California slash 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:29.680 Texas kid. Yeah yeah, but but remember though, Tom Brady 0:02:29.960 --> 0:02:33.040 is from northern California and is arguably the greatest cold 0:02:33.040 --> 0:02:36.360 Weather quarterback, which just is really a byproduct of paying 0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:40.040 with the Patriots, right, I think that's kind of the 0:02:40.080 --> 0:02:43.000 deal on that. Anyway, on this podcast, kind of give 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:45.519 you the menu of what's coming up here. We have 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:53.000 an amazing array Harry situation workers, comp salute, and we'll 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:55.000 do a little pop quiz. I like doing pop quiz. 0:02:55.160 --> 0:02:58.600 By the way, if the Raiders win, are you okay 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:03.360 with Pistacia continuing as the coach there? Yeah? If he 0:03:03.400 --> 0:03:06.320 wins a playoff game and makes it five wins in 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:08.919 a row, I think it'd be hard to argue against 0:03:09.040 --> 0:03:11.680 him getting the full time job. But he's not a 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:13.840 big name, right. He's not a big name they needed 0:03:13.880 --> 0:03:16.959 with Vegas. You need a big name, right. He's more Branson, 0:03:17.080 --> 0:03:21.399 Missouri performer than a Vegas performer name wise. Yeah, but 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:24.200 just win baby is one of the slogans, So you 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:27.000 can't not give him the job just because he doesn't 0:03:27.040 --> 0:03:30.959 have a shiny name. Everyone seems to think the Raiders 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:33.720 want the big name coach and that your guy Mark 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:35.840 Davis is willing to throw a whole bunch of cats, 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:39.160 so who knows. So Over the over the last week, 0:03:39.240 --> 0:03:42.800 Danny I was convinced I had my arm twisted a 0:03:42.840 --> 0:03:45.600 little bit to make a change, to make a change 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:49.040 here now. Uh, As you know you've known me for 0:03:49.080 --> 0:03:50.680 a long time, I've always won a lot of hats. 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:55.080 I'm known as the mad Hatter of a sports chatter. 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:57.680 Part of the reason for that is because as I 0:03:57.720 --> 0:04:03.400 have gotten a little older, the hair has gone backpack, back, back, back, back, back, 0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:07.320 back back back. I just like that. And as a 0:04:07.360 --> 0:04:11.880 result of it's a combination really of genetics. I think 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:14.720 I remember as a kid my grandfather. I have a 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:17.520 similar hairline to my grandfather. But then also the stress, 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:20.440 as you know, you know day to day working in radio, 0:04:20.640 --> 0:04:22.800 and the stress that we have every day is a 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:26.720 new show. Every day is a new set of fires 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:29.280 to put out. So so it's like the perfect storm. 0:04:29.440 --> 0:04:32.039 For the last couple of years, my wife has said, 0:04:32.120 --> 0:04:35.080 you know what you should do. She says, you should 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:38.839 just go off the deep end. And and I'm not gonna, 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:40.960 I'm not gonna, you know, do that. Don't get crazy here. 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:45.279 But the last week the plunge. I'm not fully bald, 0:04:45.800 --> 0:04:48.919 but I'm close all right now, I'm I'm closing because 0:04:48.960 --> 0:04:51.920 of the haircut. It's as close as you can get 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:57.200 without needing a wax like a bowling ball, if you 0:04:57.200 --> 0:05:01.040 know what I'm saying, without the Michael Jordan's look. Uh 0:05:01.160 --> 0:05:04.400 yeah exactly. And so you know when when you go 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:07.440 to a barbershop or if you cut your own hair, 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:10.000 I don't know, do you cut your own idea? Yeah, yeah, 0:05:10.040 --> 0:05:12.240 I use my own clippers, all right. Well, if you 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:15.279 get an electronic razor, you don't have the different settings. Yeah, 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:19.240 and it's like different guards on the blade, yeah exactly. 0:05:19.279 --> 0:05:21.120 So it goes what does it go from like six? 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:23.080 I don't know, I don't know what the highest is, 0:05:23.120 --> 0:05:25.719 but it goes down to like one, and then you 0:05:25.760 --> 0:05:28.240 take the guard off and it's just yeah, there's a 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:31.880 stubble guard. Yeah. So I'm at a I'm at a 0:05:32.040 --> 0:05:36.600 number one. I'm at a number one now and I've 0:05:36.640 --> 0:05:40.640 always been in four. It's a big step, Danny, in 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:43.120 a man's life. When you go from a four to 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:49.320 a one, that's a that's a dramatic decline. And I 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:52.560 am still getting getting usually and the next step would 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:56.560 be to just shave it everything, just completely nothing left. 0:05:56.720 --> 0:06:00.280 But if it was sports, you would be a world champion. Yeah, yeah, 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:02.520 I'm not. I'm not quite. I'm not quite there yet. 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:07.080 It's it's taking a little getting used to it, I 0:06:07.120 --> 0:06:09.839 think would be the way that we can describe it. 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:12.640 And but I still wear hats mostly. I'm wearing a 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:14.720 hat right now. I don't need to wear a hat, 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:17.479 but I'm wearing a hat. And but but around the 0:06:17.520 --> 0:06:22.000 house I will often go without it. But my wife claims, 0:06:22.040 --> 0:06:25.040 I think she's lying to me. She says, Danny, then 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:28.560 it looks better that the way I'm doing it now, 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:31.560 this is the better look, so that I can go 0:06:31.600 --> 0:06:33.800 out and I don't need to worry about the hats 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:37.040 and all that stuff. When you have a body like this, Danny, 0:06:37.160 --> 0:06:40.160 who needs hair? Right when you're when you're built like 0:06:40.400 --> 0:06:45.240 a fledgling uh, you know ball a lard that does 0:06:45.560 --> 0:06:48.600 does overnights. But they do say bald is beautiful, Danny. 0:06:48.600 --> 0:06:51.800 I've heard that before. Everybody's paying attention to the gun 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:55.400 show and the party. Ball too fifty to look at 0:06:55.400 --> 0:06:59.080 the dome. That's right. When when you have the washboard 0:06:59.160 --> 0:07:03.960 abs and you are built like Adonis, and everyone looks 0:07:04.000 --> 0:07:07.000 at you just goes like that, you don't really need 0:07:07.080 --> 0:07:09.760 to worry about the hair, right. The hair is secondary 0:07:09.960 --> 0:07:13.480 now It's funny because I remember when Tony Bruno. I 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:15.840 was friends with Tony. Tony worked at Fox and I 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:19.040 worked with them elsewhere, and I remember when Tony took 0:07:19.040 --> 0:07:22.120 the plunge because Tony used to have a hair and 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:25.240 he just like, finally one day, that's it. Uh you know, 0:07:25.240 --> 0:07:28.440 it shaved everything off and he was doing like TV 0:07:28.640 --> 0:07:32.480 stuff at the best damn sports show period, that old 0:07:32.480 --> 0:07:36.240 TV show at Fox, and he finally just said, uh, 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:39.840 that's it, I'm out. And yeah, he went for it. 0:07:41.640 --> 0:07:43.840 Who knew that? Years later, I now again, I'm not 0:07:43.880 --> 0:07:47.920 fully bald, but I'm you can't call me Benny baldy, 0:07:48.080 --> 0:07:52.640 but I'm close. So I'm on the I'm on the 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:56.800 spectrum of of bald. I guess you could you could 0:07:56.840 --> 0:08:00.400 say on the spectrum. So anyway, that is my tail 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:05.200 with the hairy situation. So I know some of the 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:07.559 guys love to bust my balls and love the goof 0:08:07.640 --> 0:08:10.640 on me because of the the hair. But I have 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:14.040 a great hat collection and I'm not giving up the 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:18.520 hat collection and the listeners and and you'll benefit from 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:20.600 this as well. Danny being on the on the podcast 0:08:20.920 --> 0:08:25.840 like very generous, like I love hats with bees and 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:28.360 ms on them and uh and you know, because my 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:31.880 name Ben Mallard, so I've got a number of those 0:08:31.920 --> 0:08:35.160 and people are very kind, and so it's I'll still 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:37.320 wear the hats. I'm just telling you. I guess I 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:39.120 don't need as big a hat, although I still wear 0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:42.760 a size eight, but it's just a little looser now, Davy. Yeah, 0:08:43.120 --> 0:08:45.400 you know I have a great hat collection as well. 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:47.400 When I had a hundred percent of my hair, I 0:08:47.440 --> 0:08:50.520 still wore a hat every day. So yeah, it doesn't 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:53.079 matter if anyone has anything to say about your head. 0:08:53.520 --> 0:08:55.520 You just point up to the rafters to all the 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:59.360 championship banners, that's right, and you tell him, look, I'm 0:08:59.400 --> 0:09:02.760 Michael jordan In and you're a sucker. Yeah, And if 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:05.000 you don't like it, you know you are fake you 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:11.280 It didn't happen, right, knock it off. Whatever it is, 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:13.480 I don't even know what it is. But you don't 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:16.400 need a hair transplant, you know. I got I I 0:09:16.480 --> 0:09:18.600 think we talked about this before, but I actually got 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:24.080 into the business a little too late for the freezing. Yeah, 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:27.600 because I remember, you know, like a few years before 0:09:27.600 --> 0:09:31.320 I got into business, like every local radio guy was 0:09:31.400 --> 0:09:36.559 getting lasic eye surgery and hair transplants. And a couple 0:09:36.559 --> 0:09:38.360 of years ago, I was working for w e I 0:09:38.520 --> 0:09:43.480 in Boston and they still had some advertisers that we're doing, 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:47.080 you know, hair transplants. Remember Jerry Callahan, one of the 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:49.600 hosts that he he had that. I think he had 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:52.480 that done because I remember him on the commercial. But yeah, see, 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:56.080 is that something you'd want your voice on the commercials of. 0:09:56.840 --> 0:09:59.319 I don't mind. Come on, I don't care, Danny, you 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:02.120 know them I've done. Come on, look at me? What 0:10:02.280 --> 0:10:04.920 a slug? Yeah, I mean I did the lasic eye 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:07.920 surgery thing. When I was a kid. There was no 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:12.240 need um for anything to do with hair, but the eyes. 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:15.080 I didn't mind. It's just like, you know, I needed 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:17.559 glasses to drive my car at night or whatever. Now 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:20.480 I don't need glasses anymore. And but if you're gonna 0:10:20.520 --> 0:10:23.480 slap your name on a hair transplant thing, that's a 0:10:23.480 --> 0:10:27.280 little cheesy. Well you wanted to work, that's uh. But yeah, 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:29.360 I don't think that stuff. Does that stuff actually work? 0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:32.200 I don't know. I mean I I used to work 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:35.120 with a guy in radio that had some work done 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:38.400 and it kind of looked like you could tell something 0:10:38.559 --> 0:10:42.160 was little off. You know. Yeah, I guess it's kind 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:44.800 of like botox where you like you said, you can tell. 0:10:45.320 --> 0:10:48.320 I don't know how effective it is everybody. I guess 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:52.600 results are different for each person because if there was 0:10:52.640 --> 0:10:55.960 one magical solution to that, then every guy would do 0:10:56.040 --> 0:11:00.280 that thing right exactly exactly. You know. It's like remember 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:02.480 years ago, there was that infomercial, you know, the spray 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:05.480 on hair it's like and I was like, well, maybe 0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:07.240 I'll get that, But then I was like, well, no, 0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:09.959 that's a scam because you know you anytime you sweat, 0:11:10.040 --> 0:11:12.440 the stuff's gonna drip down your you know, your face, 0:11:12.520 --> 0:11:15.960 and it's gonna be be discussing. But to answer your question, 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:19.520 I would I do a commercial for for hair treatment? Yes? 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:23.720 Am I doing a commercial? No? Would I? Would I 0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:26.720 pay for it? Probably not? E d Would you do 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:30.480 a commercial for a rectile dysfunction? Oh? I already have Danny? 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:33.559 Come on, man, what are you talking about? Please? Uh? 0:11:34.280 --> 0:11:36.800 But in that commercial for M drive, you're not saying 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:39.760 you have Oh no, no, no I'm not. I'm not 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:43.840 announcing that I have. You know I have some issues there, 0:11:43.840 --> 0:11:46.600 but but but no, I mean wrote a script saying hey, 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:49.080 I'm Ben Maller and I had a problem in the bedroom. 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:51.800 Would you do that? I believe in the you ever 0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:54.760 read the book The Magic Christian that everyone has a price. 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:57.880 So if the check was big enough, Danny, and I 0:11:58.160 --> 0:11:59.960 guarantee you right now that check is not big enough. 0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:02.840 But if the check was big enough, uh, and there 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:06.480 were enough zeros on that and desmal points and things 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:10.000 like that, of course you would be open to it. Right, 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:13.800 you'd be like, you know, maybe maybe you know why not? 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:16.920 But I mean, I get ripped on this podcast. There's 0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:20.720 there's a you know, weight loss uh, you know website 0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:25.240 that I endorse, and uh, they bought a good amount 0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:27.840 of spots on the podcast, and we think that we're 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:29.920 grateful for that if they're kind of them do that 0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:34.160 and people complain about that. I've never understood the complaining 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:37.559 on the podcast commercial because you can just fast forward 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:39.439 and you're not supposed to fast forward, but you can 0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:42.280 conceivably fast forward. I know a lot of people are 0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:44.679 like driving and doing things while they're listening to the podcast, 0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:48.480 but it is if it's that big inconvenience, Danny just 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:52.360 simply you know, hit the hit the buzzer. They just 0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:55.400 fast forward. Yeah, we talked about this when I first 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:58.760 joined you on the podcast. Yeah, hey, don't be lazy 0:12:58.880 --> 0:13:00.760 like you just said. You can handle it if it 0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:04.400 really bugs you, but be You're getting the programming for free, 0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:08.440 So don't be be such a cheap ass that you 0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:11.839 can't support Ben Mallard, because if you want to support Ben, 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:14.240 that's how you do it exactly. That's what I'm saying. 0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:18.440 It's not that hard I play when we do, you know, 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:21.240 I mean, I I just not. This's not a a 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:24.640 college radio show or something. No commercials that we have advertisers. 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:28.160 Every sponsor you here on this podcast by at least one. 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:31.280 And when you're on the phone say Ben Mallard, Ben Mallards, Right, 0:13:31.679 --> 0:13:34.200 that's right there, you get. That's that's how it works anyway. 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:39.280 And now the the workers comptail a a bad week 0:13:39.360 --> 0:13:41.120 for Danny je is it fair to say, or at 0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:44.319 least a bad day. The day was going really well. 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:49.839 I was working with kindergarteners on Wednesday. They do this 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:53.600 game like in between the learning center tables and you know, 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:56.080 all the crap where the kids grown and moan because 0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:59.240 they're like, I don't want to learn, which you know, 0:13:59.320 --> 0:14:00.959 I agree. I want to do the puzzles and the 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:04.240 fun stuff too, but they get to go to the 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:07.880 play structure after they have their lunch. Now, what is 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:10.040 the play structure For those who don't know, kind of 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:13.240 paint the picture here. What It's just like a regular 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:17.040 playground or something special. It's a big square of that 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:20.520 soft rubber material, you know. Is that way if a 0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:23.640 kid falls and hits his head, the head can slightly 0:14:23.680 --> 0:14:26.320 bounce off the turf. Is it made out of like 0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:30.880 tire stuff? Is? Yeah, it's that that rubber stuff on 0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:35.080 the ground. And then it's it's got one slide. It's 0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:39.520 your standard little playground, but it's a miniature version. It's 0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:43.240 for the little kids. As an adult, you know, you 0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:45.800 get on top of this thing and you look mammoth. 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:49.400 The kids always want to play freeze tag. They call 0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:53.560 it freeze Monster. Freeze Monster, Freeze Monster. They want me 0:14:53.720 --> 0:14:56.880 to be You're the monster. You know, a monster, Danny, 0:14:56.880 --> 0:14:59.600 You're the to the kids, you're a monster. I really 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:03.720 and I looked like the monster inside the matter horn 0:15:03.960 --> 0:15:07.280 at Disneyland. That's what the kids are picturing as I 0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:11.080 tagged them and freeze them. Half the kids tell me no, 0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:14.080 you can't freeze me. I have magical powers, and so 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:17.360 they don't play by the rules. The other half stopping, 0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:21.120 you know, try to stay still. It's fun for them 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:25.120 for me. After ten minutes, I'm like, Okay, my back 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:27.680 is hurting a little bit. I need a I need 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:29.920 a break. I need an old man break here, an 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:32.520 old monster break. Yeah, because I really got to turn 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:35.600 the jets on because you know, these kids are fast, 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:39.000 so I gotta show my speed. Man. My wheels were 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:42.720 on full display. I'm like fully chasing these kids around 0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:46.240 as the monster, and I mean I'm tagging everybody. Every 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:49.400 little damn kid is frozen or shouldn't. You gotta be careful. 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:52.440 Then you're at risk of like popping in Achilles or somebody. 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:56.760 You gotta be careful. I'm pretty fast. The problem on 0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:00.960 this small play structure for a big person is I 0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:04.560 pulled myself up to reach in and freeze one of 0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:09.080 the kids. Now, this kid's name is Anthony. He was like, Mr, 0:16:09.160 --> 0:16:12.360 g you can't freeze me because I was born inside 0:16:12.360 --> 0:16:18.960 of a flame. What yeah, a flame inside of a flame. 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:21.360 And he's like yeah, and he showed me his hands 0:16:21.360 --> 0:16:25.480 and he's like, and my hands shoot out electricity and 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:28.760 he was dead serious, and I'm like, okay. I'm like, 0:16:28.840 --> 0:16:31.600 but I'm the freeze monster. So when I tag your 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:35.720 asked your feet turned to puddles and he just wasn't 0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:37.600 having it. But I still try to reach in and 0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:42.680 freeze him, even though he supposedly had magical powers. Problem. 0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:47.120 When I reached my head through, I thought the bar 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:50.800 that goes across was above my head. No, it was 0:16:50.880 --> 0:16:55.800 probably at that point like uh, Peyton Manning level forehead. 0:16:56.840 --> 0:17:04.040 The five my son alasses came flying off my California 0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:09.720 required mask went up above my eyes. I was seeing 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:14.439 stars like tweety bird uh, and I was dazed and 0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:19.480 confused for a moment. I mean I hit this bar hard. Yeah, 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:22.000 I smacked that thing because I was going full speed. 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:24.399 Are any of the kids coming over to see if 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:26.359 you're okay or they don't give a crap? You're the 0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:29.680 monster and you just died, don't Yeah, they could give 0:17:29.680 --> 0:17:32.040 a crap. I saw a little bit of blood on 0:17:32.119 --> 0:17:35.480 my hand and I asked one of the kids. I said, 0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:38.720 am I bleeding? And he looked at me and he 0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:43.719 was like, no, not really, Let's keep playing. And I'm like, okay, Well, 0:17:43.720 --> 0:17:45.600 I'm gonna have to at least go wash up. You 0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:48.040 know that kid believes and he just rubbed some dirt 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:51.040 on it, some dirt on it, and you're no big deal. 0:17:51.520 --> 0:17:54.320 I can respect that, but I mean, I asked another kid, 0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:57.919 did it leave a mark? No, no, there's nothing. I 0:17:57.960 --> 0:18:00.800 had to go to the main room an ice pack. 0:18:01.359 --> 0:18:04.280 They had to wright me up because you know, once 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:07.520 the supervisors of the school see that you're holding an 0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:12.320 ice pack on your on your schnauser, then uh and 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:15.200 I and I told the campus supervisor. I was like, no, 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:17.080 I do not need to be written up. I'm not 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:20.480 gonna do workman's camp because that's the only reason they 0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:24.240 write that crap up. Oh yeah, they're worried about lots its. 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:28.320 Yeah they don't. They're worried about lawsuits exactly. So she 0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:31.200 had to write an email to the school district, which 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:34.240 is hilarious. And I told her, I said, in the 0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:42.000 subject line, can you please write freeze monster. Well, they're 0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:44.800 they're looking out, yeah, they're looking at for the uh 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:49.040 cash register that you're gonna win the school lottery there. 0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:53.399 But that's funny. Yeah, Now, if I did want some 0:18:53.520 --> 0:18:56.720 time off this past Wednesday, night. It was a little 0:18:56.720 --> 0:18:59.000 harder to go to sleep, but you had the big 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:02.080 schnaz all on right. Yeah. Yeah, I mean my nose 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:04.639 was already big enough. I mean, why couldn't I have 0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:07.359 hit something I needed, you know, to be bigger like 0:19:07.440 --> 0:19:13.679 my brain? Oh man? And the kids now you know, 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:15.840 you went back to school and after I put the 0:19:15.880 --> 0:19:18.800 ice pack away, I sold your right back out there 0:19:18.800 --> 0:19:23.119 and continued to play freeze monster. Solid. That's solid. You 0:19:24.400 --> 0:19:26.160 rubbed a little dirt on it, put a little ice 0:19:26.200 --> 0:19:28.240 on it, and you're back out there. One of the 0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:32.639 kids told me, hey, be careful of the bar. Yeah, 0:19:33.119 --> 0:19:34.680 you're like in your head, you're like if this kid, 0:19:34.840 --> 0:19:37.640 this kid's a loser there this kid, what's wrong with him? 0:19:37.680 --> 0:19:40.679 Shut up? That's funny. It's better you than one of 0:19:40.680 --> 0:19:42.399 the kids, right, because then it's a whole to do right. 0:19:42.440 --> 0:19:44.560 When the kids gets hurt, then it's a nightmare. I 0:19:44.600 --> 0:19:49.159 look like Joey Bosa right now. Yeah, you little Joey. 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:51.720 For you, you're forced to wear a mask everywhere, so 0:19:51.760 --> 0:19:54.040 you've got that going for you. You cover it up 0:19:54.080 --> 0:19:57.720 and we're seventeen masks and your way to go. Uh, 0:19:57.760 --> 0:20:00.159 you're on your way. So as far as the uh, 0:20:00.280 --> 0:20:04.240 the salute, if you will. So I have, as you have, 0:20:04.280 --> 0:20:05.960 been with Fox Sports Radio for a long time. I've 0:20:05.960 --> 0:20:08.680 been with the company for pretty much my entire adult 0:20:08.720 --> 0:20:10.920 life other than a few years. I worked local radio 0:20:11.800 --> 0:20:14.359 before that, and so being Fox Sports Radio for a 0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:18.360 long time. The faces come and go, and we've had 0:20:18.400 --> 0:20:22.360 an amazingly large number of people that have been on 0:20:22.440 --> 0:20:25.639 the air and off the air, behind the scenes, people 0:20:25.720 --> 0:20:28.120 that have worked at Fox Sports Radio for the company. 0:20:28.400 --> 0:20:32.399 And you know, it's been different the last couple of 0:20:32.480 --> 0:20:34.679 years because of COVID. I've been working from the home studio, 0:20:34.680 --> 0:20:36.440 which I love and it's great and all that, but 0:20:36.440 --> 0:20:38.879 I missed being at the radiations sometimes and being around 0:20:38.880 --> 0:20:42.480 the camaraderie that we would have and and all that 0:20:42.720 --> 0:20:45.399 and so. But in the early days when I was 0:20:45.400 --> 0:20:47.920 there all the time, doing weekends, filling in and all 0:20:47.920 --> 0:20:50.639 that stuff. Uh, you know, you have good friends with 0:20:50.680 --> 0:20:51.800 a lot of people, and I have very few of 0:20:51.840 --> 0:20:54.600 those people have left. Typically I'm out of the loop 0:20:55.840 --> 0:20:58.639 on these transactions when people come and go, the comings 0:20:58.680 --> 0:21:02.840 and goings, I I don't know unless somebody tells me. 0:21:02.920 --> 0:21:06.160 But somebody did tell him that one of our imaging 0:21:06.200 --> 0:21:10.840 guys had announced at the end of one that he 0:21:10.880 --> 0:21:14.080 was retiring, and this is somebody that I know, and 0:21:14.160 --> 0:21:15.600 it hit a nerve with me because I was like, 0:21:15.640 --> 0:21:18.960 wait a minute, I know that. Who's that guy? Pal, 0:21:19.359 --> 0:21:22.240 who's the guy? And it's I don't even know if 0:21:22.240 --> 0:21:27.440 you know him. Yeah, Chris. Yeah, Chris has worked there 0:21:27.480 --> 0:21:32.479 since Fox Sports Radio started, and you know behind the 0:21:32.800 --> 0:21:36.440 scenes guy along with Vito, who's our imaging guy. Vito. 0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:38.280 I remember when Vito started at the company and he's 0:21:38.280 --> 0:21:39.879 now been there for a long time as the image guy. 0:21:39.960 --> 0:21:43.880 But Chris was also an imaging guy and they worked together. 0:21:44.160 --> 0:21:46.840 And if you don't know the inner workings of radio stations, 0:21:47.560 --> 0:21:53.959 those guys make all the promos, the commercials, right, I mean, 0:21:54.000 --> 0:21:58.400 the the the back and forth, the music, the call 0:21:58.480 --> 0:22:02.480 an image. Right. So it's it's the sound of Fox 0:22:02.520 --> 0:22:06.520 Sports Radio, right. I think I'm right on that. Yeah, 0:22:06.640 --> 0:22:10.240 definitely they and they control the big network voice. So 0:22:10.280 --> 0:22:14.680 anytime you hear the big voice of the network involved 0:22:14.680 --> 0:22:20.240 in some kind of promoing of the network that they're doing, yeah, exactly. 0:22:20.280 --> 0:22:22.880 So they do voiceover sessions with the voice of Fox 0:22:22.920 --> 0:22:26.520 Sports Radio and a lot of that stuff. So and 0:22:26.560 --> 0:22:30.000 the the very beginning of this podcast, the intro that 0:22:30.040 --> 0:22:33.199 you hear with the big voice, they did that, Yeah, exactly. Now, 0:22:33.240 --> 0:22:35.320 I know sometimes we can write the copy, but they 0:22:35.320 --> 0:22:38.560 will record it, put the imaging, you know, the sound 0:22:38.560 --> 0:22:41.639 in and allo anyway. Uh, you know, I've known Chris 0:22:41.760 --> 0:22:44.520