1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: On the side, we are two working parents who love 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:32,840 Speaker 1: the most out of life. All right, Welcome to best 10 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:35,520 Speaker 1: of both worlds. This is Laura. This is episode one 11 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 1: hundred and sixty five. We will be interviewing a very 12 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:43,159 Speaker 1: special guest by the name of Rebecca Hart, who, if 13 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:47,279 Speaker 1: people might guess from the name Sarah Hart Hunger, is 14 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:51,880 Speaker 1: of some relation to my co host here. So yeah, 15 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 1: we're excited to have Sarah's sister talking about all things 16 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:00,200 Speaker 1: new parenthood. She had a baby around the same time 17 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 1: that I had Henry. She is running a small business 18 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,560 Speaker 1: in the midst of a pandemic, and so she's going 19 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:11,880 Speaker 1: to be talking about single parenthood, small business ownership, and 20 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 1: life in general. So I can't wait to hear that. 21 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: Sarah how so now we got to get the part 22 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:20,399 Speaker 1: about you and your sister growing up before we had 23 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 1: to her. So we are two years and four months apart, 24 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,120 Speaker 1: and so you know, two girls, and we didn't have 25 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: any other siblings, so definitely grew up quite close. I 26 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 1: would say we are very different personalities, both as children 27 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:38,039 Speaker 1: and as adults, but we've also always like to do 28 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 1: things together, or at least I always was dragging her 29 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: into my CHANTI because she had no choice. Well, honestly, 30 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 1: she's more introverted and probably would have been like fine 31 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 1: if I didn't bother her so much, but like I 32 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 1: always wanted her in my play, if that makes sense. 33 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 1: So we I bossed her around a lot. We played 34 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:59,560 Speaker 1: a lot of school, We did a lot of crafts. 35 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: Then she quickly got way better than me at doing 36 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 1: craft as a learned as you hear about her actual business. Yes, yes, 37 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,359 Speaker 1: we both played piano and sang, so we had a 38 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 1: lot of music stuff in common, and you know, as 39 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 1: any siblings do. Of course, we fought sometimes, and there 40 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 1: have been periods where things weren't as smooth, but generally 41 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,799 Speaker 1: we've remained very close. Like she's somebody that I feel 42 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 1: like i've always been able to be completely honest with 43 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:30,240 Speaker 1: and I think that is mutual, and so that's just 44 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,839 Speaker 1: been such a lovely thing to have. I love having 45 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: a sibling, and I'm so glad that I do, and 46 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 1: so I you know, I hope my own kids developed 47 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,959 Speaker 1: that kind of relationship. Yeah. I mean, so I have 48 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,520 Speaker 1: two brothers, but they are one is significantly older and 49 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: one is significantly younger. So we have about a six 50 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 1: year gap on each side. So we really had more 51 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 1: of parallel childhoods I guess you could say than actually 52 00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:58,679 Speaker 1: that sort of two year apart sibling experience. I mean, 53 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 1: the difference Bet and my older brother Jeff and me 54 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,960 Speaker 1: in age is like the difference between Jasper and Alex. 55 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 1: So there's like two more children in there in my 56 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,240 Speaker 1: in my family. Clearly, we have a different experience in 57 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: my house now than that was. Even though I grew 58 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 1: up as one of three kids, so it wasn't exactly 59 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:18,839 Speaker 1: a small, you know, family, but it was what it's 60 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,280 Speaker 1: been more that we've gotten to know each other as adults, 61 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 1: and that's been pretty cool because you know, my brother, 62 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:27,520 Speaker 1: I went to college pretty near where he lives, and 63 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 1: so I was able to be part of my niece 64 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: and nephew's life kind of early on when they were born. 65 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 1: That was really fun to see them grow up as babies. 66 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:41,080 Speaker 1: And then my little brother moved to New York a 67 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: few years ago, and so we had some overlap with him, 68 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: not much, but he's he's come to see us. We've 69 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 1: come to see him, and we enjoy hanging out with 70 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: him anytime we're in New York, and he and my 71 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:56,240 Speaker 1: husband will like drink Scotch together, So it's a you know, 72 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 1: it's it's been fun to have them as adults, and 73 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 1: I definitely hope my kids can can stay close in 74 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 1: their adult life. I don't know's it's gonna be fun 75 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,120 Speaker 1: to see. I'm not sure. We'll see how this all like, 76 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 1: what the different alliances will be in different times. The 77 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,919 Speaker 1: other thing I'm really excited about is for Genevieve in particular, 78 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 1: to get to know Miriam, because they're actually closer in 79 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 1: age than Genevieve is to either of my bigger kids. Yeah, 80 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 1: so it's going to be so wonderful when we all 81 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,040 Speaker 1: get to finally hang out and we can have like, 82 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 1: you know, the two littles and the two bigs and no, 83 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 1: I'm like, very very excited for this new phase of 84 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,840 Speaker 1: our relationship. And Miriam is the cutest as I'm sure 85 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:40,159 Speaker 1: I will post picture of her on Instagram. Cousins are awesome, 86 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 1: and that's great that you have cousin and you have 87 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,919 Speaker 1: a cousin now for your kids on that clone, they 88 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: have cousins on the other side, but yes, this is 89 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:49,840 Speaker 1: their first on this side. Yes, totally. So we're excited 90 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:54,000 Speaker 1: to have Rebecca Heart here. So Sarah and I are 91 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 1: excited to welcome Rebecca Heart to the episode. Rebecca is 92 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 1: a great many things though, also sarah sister. So Rebecca, 93 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 1: can you introduce yourself to our listeners? Yeah, I'm hi, 94 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,920 Speaker 1: Sarah's sister. I don't know where I should start because 95 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,360 Speaker 1: I don't know where you're heading with us. Well, why 96 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 1: don't you tell us a little bit about your business 97 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:18,040 Speaker 1: and your family set up right now? Absolutely? So. I 98 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:21,280 Speaker 1: own a yarnge store in Cary, North Carolina, where so 99 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:24,040 Speaker 1: I used to live. I've owned the store for a 100 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:27,840 Speaker 1: little over eight years now, and I have a seven 101 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: month old girl, Miriam, who is now sleeping in the 102 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 1: store in the little makeshift bedroom for her. Yeah, how 103 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,760 Speaker 1: does that work? So you just bring her in with you, 104 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 1: and you do have pretty normal store hours now or 105 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 1: how does that work? Not quite and we're playing around 106 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,800 Speaker 1: with the hours right now, but obviously because of COVID, 107 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 1: we're doing appointment only. We're about to shift that. But 108 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 1: typically I'm here five or six days a week, at 109 00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: least like ten till three. Sometimes I do work that 110 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:04,240 Speaker 1: sometimes before. It really depends on kind of what's going 111 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 1: on in the store and her schedule. Sometimes she wakes 112 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 1: up earlier later, so I do have a little bit 113 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 1: of flexibility due to COVID. I don't know if it's 114 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:17,080 Speaker 1: good or bet, but yeah, it's been interesting. So she 115 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,120 Speaker 1: just comes and naps there or hangs out with you 116 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:22,679 Speaker 1: while you're wah. So I try to get here early 117 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,200 Speaker 1: enough so she can be down for her first nap, 118 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 1: which is anywhere between nine and ten Yusually she goes down, 119 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 1: and then that's where I usually am able to get 120 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,160 Speaker 1: a good chunk of work done for a couple of hours, 121 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,440 Speaker 1: whether I have customers in or I'm doing work on 122 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,680 Speaker 1: my computer. So yeah, she's fantastic at taking that early 123 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,520 Speaker 1: nap and I really take advantage of that. Afterwards, it's 124 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:45,840 Speaker 1: really hit or miss whether she's able to play in 125 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 1: her little playyard independently, which is not for log Or 126 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 1: I throw her on my back, which is a new 127 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 1: thing I've been doing, and wear her. Or I have 128 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,360 Speaker 1: her in my lap and I try to type with 129 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 1: her on my lap. Yeah, so tell us about mom 130 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,039 Speaker 1: and fuzzy yarn, Like, why where did the idea for 131 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 1: this business come to be? And I assumed that you 132 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 1: must have been the crafty sister growing up. If this 133 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 1: is maybe maybe take take our listeners through the journey 134 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 1: of like how you made the choice with your career 135 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 1: to make a take a really big and kind of 136 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,679 Speaker 1: risky stuff, and like kind of what that thought process 137 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 1: was like, and just kind of the bravery well, I mean, 138 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 1: it's hard to toot your own horn, but it was 139 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 1: a very brave step. So to tell a little bit 140 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 1: about that. Yeah, so I had been working at a 141 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 1: corporate job before for eight years and now it's hard 142 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 1: to believe that I've actually been at the store now 143 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 1: longer than that job, which sometimes is amazing. But I 144 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 1: was doing business analytics. I was doing so a lot 145 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 1: of spreadsheet works, staring at a computer all day long. 146 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 1: Part of me liked what I was doing. In another 147 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,840 Speaker 1: part like hated just the corporate aspect of it, and 148 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: I was just I felt like I hit a wall 149 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 1: and I just was brainstorming things to do, and I 150 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 1: kept coming back to yarn because that was always something 151 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,400 Speaker 1: like after work. I remember driving to a yarn store 152 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 1: and picking up It was the highlight of my day. 153 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 1: And I don't know exactly when it came into my head. 154 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: I took a couple of business trips down to Arlington, 155 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 1: and nearby in Alexandria is a wonderful yarn store named Fiberspace, 156 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: and they had just tons and tons of hand eyed yarn, 157 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: and each time I went, I spent like a couple 158 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 1: hundred dollars on yard, which is pretty easy to do. 159 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 1: And I remember just feeling that that that type of 160 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,280 Speaker 1: yarn really was not available in the area or very 161 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,080 Speaker 1: very limited. So I thought about that, and at some 162 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 1: point I just I wondered about how feasible it would be. 163 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,559 Speaker 1: So I took a business class at night after work, 164 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 1: and I had an amazing advisor who helped me write 165 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 1: a business plan and feasibility studies and talked to a 166 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:49,800 Speaker 1: lot of my friends were knitters and crocheers. Actually I 167 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,320 Speaker 1: was more of a crecheer when I started, and then 168 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 1: I got obsessed into knitting, which is more popular now. 169 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 1: Most of my customers are knitters, and little by little 170 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 1: it somehow didn't seem impossible, like I needed to get 171 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:07,080 Speaker 1: my LC license, I needed to get the find the 172 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:10,280 Speaker 1: space and have a fire, you know, check. And it 173 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 1: was just one thing after another, and about a year 174 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:18,200 Speaker 1: after I started researching, I was opening my doors. And 175 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,319 Speaker 1: so you sell tell us. I mean, for those of 176 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:25,080 Speaker 1: us who are not yarn connoisseurs, the hand dyed yarn 177 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 1: is like the high end of the market, right for 178 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: people who are very particular about their sort of knitting. Yeah, 179 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,200 Speaker 1: I mean there's hand dyed and there's also just a 180 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:40,440 Speaker 1: small scale production. So pretty much all of my suppliers 181 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 1: they're either one or two person show or it's one 182 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,320 Speaker 1: of my brands that I love. Everything is sourced in 183 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,920 Speaker 1: the US from you know, the actual wool the sheep, 184 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:52,319 Speaker 1: and then it's died and it's spun. Everything is done 185 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,680 Speaker 1: in the US, so just a lot of very very 186 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:58,240 Speaker 1: small scale partners and it just makes it special. That's 187 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 1: kind of exciting that the sheep are Americans. Dozens too, 188 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 1: when you have some sorry, I say, you do have 189 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:10,400 Speaker 1: some brands that come from like international destinations. So yeah, absolutely, 190 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,480 Speaker 1: Actually we have a lot, and that's been just a 191 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:16,040 Speaker 1: worry now. Thankfully supply has been okay during this but 192 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:21,959 Speaker 1: a lot comes from Ireland, Germany, England, We've had all over. 193 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:26,720 Speaker 1: But still the production that the dying is by usually 194 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:29,960 Speaker 1: just a handful of people. It's not a large scale production. 195 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 1: That's her store is beautiful. By the way, I was 196 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 1: going to say, I assume that a big part of 197 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,800 Speaker 1: this pre COVID of course, is also that you are 198 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:40,360 Speaker 1: a destination then for people to come in. And did 199 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,960 Speaker 1: you have like knitting circles going on quite a bit? 200 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:46,320 Speaker 1: We have three groups a week and just that knitting 201 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:50,240 Speaker 1: couch iconic. Yeah, it was just it was a really 202 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,440 Speaker 1: it had become a really nice place, and a lot 203 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 1: of my friends would come and they would they just 204 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: they would gather and make new friends and then you 205 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 1: know those friendships. So it was still they would meet 206 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 1: outside of the store as well, So I feel like 207 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: I brought people together. It was like good way. So 208 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 1: I missed the inergery very much. Yeah. Interesting, Yeah, how 209 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,880 Speaker 1: did you wind up then pivoting with the pandemic to 210 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:17,480 Speaker 1: I mean because you're still open, yeah, which is exciting. 211 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:19,959 Speaker 1: You have not gone out of business, so yeah, how 212 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 1: did you pivot with that? So I feel rather lucky 213 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,360 Speaker 1: in the fact that my store was already set up 214 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:29,520 Speaker 1: for online. I had been getting orders before, not a 215 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 1: large amount, but at percentage. I had already set up, 216 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 1: probably a little bit because of my analytic background, just 217 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,720 Speaker 1: all of my yarns in the system, so that I 218 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 1: had pictures of every single yarn in the store, so 219 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 1: I didn't have to rush to create that as a 220 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 1: lot of other stores were doing so that their business 221 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: could be accessible online. So that was really nice. And 222 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,240 Speaker 1: so in the beginning, I just I did a lot 223 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,679 Speaker 1: of incentives, a lot of social media. I'm still doing that, 224 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,440 Speaker 1: but I've lessened it just a little bit because it 225 00:11:57,559 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 1: was becoming a lot of work. I would send on 226 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,080 Speaker 1: email every morning. I was doing a daily deal and 227 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 1: and just giving people in order of the day. I 228 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 1: even liked looking at the day yeah and deal of 229 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,960 Speaker 1: the day. Yeah. I was doing a lot of that, 230 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,960 Speaker 1: but thankfully I was already set up to sell online 231 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,600 Speaker 1: and that helped immensely. Well, that sounds great, So we're 232 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,360 Speaker 1: going to take a short break here to have our 233 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 1: ads and then we'll be right back to hear more 234 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 1: from Rebecca. It's too bad we don't have like a 235 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:37,840 Speaker 1: yarn sponsor for this episode, but maybe in the future. 236 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:43,679 Speaker 1: In the future. So well, that's kind of the birth 237 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,960 Speaker 1: of your store. And now, as you were saying, it 238 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 1: is opened by appointment, but it is soon to be 239 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:52,720 Speaker 1: open without restrictions, is that correct? Not without restrictions, But 240 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,400 Speaker 1: I am going to be changing. Actually well by the 241 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:59,160 Speaker 1: time this airs, I'm assuming my customers will know. But yeah, 242 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,199 Speaker 1: I'm starting to have in the afternoons, so I'm still 243 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,800 Speaker 1: gonna have appointments in the morning. I actually sent out 244 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 1: a survey to my customers asking what they preferred, and 245 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 1: some do prefer appointments so they think they can be 246 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,320 Speaker 1: the only one shopping in the store and feel safe. 247 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:13,959 Speaker 1: Of course, mass required. And then in the afternoons, I'm 248 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 1: going to do appointments. I'm sorry, I'm going to do 249 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,080 Speaker 1: walk ins, limiting to five customers in the store, so 250 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:22,680 Speaker 1: it's still going to be a very small amount of 251 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:24,920 Speaker 1: people in the store at once. Oh that sounds like 252 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,839 Speaker 1: a nice balance though, and in time for the fall 253 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:31,480 Speaker 1: and winter knitting season, which I'm sure gets busy. Yeah, 254 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,520 Speaker 1: I hope. So, I hope it's like other years, but 255 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:37,120 Speaker 1: we'll see. Yeah. So, Rebecca, you're also you know, you've 256 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:40,480 Speaker 1: gone through this pandemic small business ownership with a newborn 257 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:44,080 Speaker 1: as well. So and you had a slightly different journey 258 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:47,840 Speaker 1: to motherhood. You want to whatever you'd like to share 259 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: about that would be great. Sure. So I was just 260 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 1: talking to Sarah about this, so she didn't realize is 261 00:13:55,320 --> 00:14:00,480 Speaker 1: I went and visited Sarah and her family, and I believe, 262 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,839 Speaker 1: I want to say it was February twenty eighteen. I 263 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 1: could be wrong with it, but I remember how odoud 264 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,720 Speaker 1: Viva have been then? Three months or two months? That 265 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:12,199 Speaker 1: sounds about right. And I remember I've known for a 266 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,160 Speaker 1: long time that I wanted to have at least one child, 267 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 1: and I at that point, I guess I was thirty six. Yes, 268 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,840 Speaker 1: Rebocca is a younger sister. By the way, I'm two 269 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,520 Speaker 1: years older. So at that point I remember I always 270 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 1: know I wanted to have at least a child, and 271 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,680 Speaker 1: I visited her and I just remember looking at Viva 272 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,520 Speaker 1: and thinking, oh, I want this so badly, and it 273 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:37,680 Speaker 1: just seemed like almost a ridiculous idea, like here I was. 274 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:42,640 Speaker 1: I probably unattached at that point. You know, I've been 275 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,840 Speaker 1: dating off and on, but at that point I don't 276 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 1: think I was seeing anyone, or at least not seriously, 277 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,720 Speaker 1: and it just it seemed like something I just really, 278 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,840 Speaker 1: really really wanted. And Sarah said to me, did you 279 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,760 Speaker 1: ever think about having a child on your own? I 280 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:54,960 Speaker 1: don't know if you remember that or not, but you 281 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:59,280 Speaker 1: absolutely planted that idea in my head. And I think 282 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 1: I had, but not in a realistic not in a 283 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:08,080 Speaker 1: almost like yeah, logistically. I just didn't really think it 284 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:11,400 Speaker 1: was something I would do. But once she planted that seed, 285 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 1: I kind of ran with it. And so after that trip, 286 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:19,520 Speaker 1: I decided to go see a reproductive undercronologists and talk 287 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 1: about options. I was not at all ready to go 288 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,840 Speaker 1: for it, but I just wanted to hear about the process, 289 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,720 Speaker 1: kind of what her thoughts were given my situation, my age. 290 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 1: She suggested doing some tests, so we did that. Thankfully, 291 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 1: numbers were pretty good, but she said, you know, you're 292 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,320 Speaker 1: thirty seven, thirty six, I guess at that point, and 293 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,000 Speaker 1: she said, you know you you're not. You don't have 294 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,840 Speaker 1: to do it right now, but I wouldn't wait too 295 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 1: a lot, so I carried that with me for a while. 296 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,560 Speaker 1: I throughout that year I dated a little bit, but 297 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 1: I don't enjoy dating very much and beginning and maybe 298 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,080 Speaker 1: no one does. I think some people though, I think 299 00:15:56,080 --> 00:16:01,840 Speaker 1: some people do. And so about a year later I 300 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,680 Speaker 1: had been dating someone who I knew was not going 301 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,280 Speaker 1: to be but by the time we had dated for 302 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 1: a couple months, it was kind of it was a 303 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,880 Speaker 1: little bit off and on I realized that was not 304 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,400 Speaker 1: going to be the man that helped me bring a 305 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 1: child into the world. And I decided to go back 306 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 1: to the same doctor, and I said, let's do it. 307 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 1: How do we get book? Do you want to do 308 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,960 Speaker 1: you remember that wheat? I was like, well, you know, 309 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 1: doing it versus like freezing. Do you want to talk 310 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,080 Speaker 1: about how you made that choice because you did a 311 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 1: lot of analysis there. Yeah. So she told me about 312 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:33,440 Speaker 1: three different options. Basically, you go ahead and try to 313 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 1: have a baby, you freeze your eggs, or you could 314 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,720 Speaker 1: do a combination of both, and you could go for 315 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:43,200 Speaker 1: in vitro at a later date. At that point, I 316 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,760 Speaker 1: think part of it was, given my age, freezing was 317 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,400 Speaker 1: not a guarantee that that would produce a child. So 318 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:51,760 Speaker 1: I could decide to try at forty two and end 319 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:57,320 Speaker 1: up not having a child. Also, the cost of freezing 320 00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 1: and vitro is much more, and the first try with 321 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 1: just trying with the donor and not using fertility men. 322 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,320 Speaker 1: So I said, let's go for it. She said, let's 323 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:13,240 Speaker 1: try a few times and see what happens. And it worked. 324 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:18,440 Speaker 1: I was pregnant fairly soon after that, and yeah, gave 325 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:21,760 Speaker 1: birth January. So you want to talk about can you 326 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 1: can you tell anything about like the donor selection process? 327 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 1: Very curious, you don't have to go into it. Yeah, 328 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,000 Speaker 1: I need to tell you. Don't feel comfortable with anything 329 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:33,560 Speaker 1: about it. Yeah, I'm actually pretty open about it because 330 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 1: people ask. But yeah, I didn't know anything about it. 331 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:40,040 Speaker 1: The fertility clinic that I worked with here in North Carolina, 332 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,359 Speaker 1: I loved them, and they only work with a few 333 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,879 Speaker 1: sperm banks, so they want the ones that are really 334 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:50,880 Speaker 1: you know, looking into the country and the genetics quality 335 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:54,800 Speaker 1: all control. You want to make sure that you're risk. 336 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 1: I was low and for any kind of disease. So 337 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:03,359 Speaker 1: there is a very comprehensive genetic screening, which is nice. 338 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,400 Speaker 1: I feel like I actually knew in some ways medically 339 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,920 Speaker 1: more about this donor than I would about a partner. 340 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:11,880 Speaker 1: So it just it was interesting. And then you hear 341 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:15,720 Speaker 1: you find out all sorts of family information from heights 342 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:20,080 Speaker 1: and weights and occupations of the parents and grandparents and 343 00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:23,439 Speaker 1: sisters and cousins and on and on and on. And 344 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 1: so I chose someone who seemed healthy and seemed smart, 345 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 1: who was in school. Yeah, just a number of things. 346 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:33,040 Speaker 1: And I got to see some of the profiles, which 347 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,800 Speaker 1: was really fun. Like I didn't put give real input, 348 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,720 Speaker 1: but it was just fun to be like part of that. 349 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:42,400 Speaker 1: If you're going to choose one pictures. There was even 350 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:47,760 Speaker 1: an audio interview. Yeah, so it was fun. Did you 351 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:51,760 Speaker 1: choose then, like you Yeah, I don't know. I looked 352 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,439 Speaker 1: at I looked at a whole bunch. The one I 353 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:58,160 Speaker 1: chose I liked. He was in grad school for neurodegenerative diseases. 354 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:04,000 Speaker 1: He had okay, had perfect vision without any correction, which 355 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:09,920 Speaker 1: is key. Very Yeah, healthy in general, not a lot 356 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:13,320 Speaker 1: of cancer in the family. Yeah, and a very cute 357 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:17,320 Speaker 1: baby picture. So the cute baby picture is everything because 358 00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:19,720 Speaker 1: you assume that that's probably is going to look like 359 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,040 Speaker 1: maybe most babies are pretty cute, but okay, Yeah, and 360 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:26,120 Speaker 1: by the way Miriam is like so cute, Yes, exactly. 361 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 1: So it has been a relatively you got pregnant fairly 362 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,239 Speaker 1: quickly then once you get start it's very lucky. This process, well, 363 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: that's wonderful. And pregnancy, how I mean, how did you 364 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 1: feel going through that not with a partner, since that 365 00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:45,119 Speaker 1: is sort of the norm? I imagine people were like 366 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:49,360 Speaker 1: asking you all the time or you know, just mostly 367 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 1: it felt fine because I mean I didn't have anything 368 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,680 Speaker 1: to compare it to. Sometimes I feel like the doctors 369 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:57,720 Speaker 1: are maybe not as sensitive as they could have been. 370 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:03,080 Speaker 1: Maybe not the doctors you a couple and think about it. Yeah, 371 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,199 Speaker 1: I mean question it's like, oh is your partner in 372 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,600 Speaker 1: the waiting room? Do they want to come in? Things 373 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:11,800 Speaker 1: like that, But mostly it was fine. I don't know, 374 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,960 Speaker 1: I've been very independent, I've lived alone. I just it 375 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,960 Speaker 1: felt fine to me. I didn't feel like going into 376 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,679 Speaker 1: an appointment that I needed someone else there. Yeah. And 377 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:25,480 Speaker 1: in terms of then caring for the baby, because that's 378 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:29,520 Speaker 1: been mostly just you then yeah the whole time. And 379 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:36,159 Speaker 1: I am just so how do you ever manage to 380 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 1: get yourself a break at all? Or a little bit? 381 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 1: So coming into this, I also kind of felt like 382 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,800 Speaker 1: I wasn't going to rely on other people, but that 383 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,600 Speaker 1: I had a tribe around me because my baby shower 384 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,160 Speaker 1: that Sarah helped organize, I don't know how many people 385 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,719 Speaker 1: were there. It was it was like a wild party. 386 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,120 Speaker 1: It was always did that customers. Yeah, I would say 387 00:20:57,119 --> 00:21:01,240 Speaker 1: at least sixty people probably came flowered meet with presents. 388 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,679 Speaker 1: They all were you know, they all told me they 389 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,480 Speaker 1: would be happy to help out with a baby and 390 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:09,400 Speaker 1: come to the store and watch her and anything I needed. Well, 391 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:12,920 Speaker 1: unfortunately that's an exactly pan out because of COVID. I 392 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:18,240 Speaker 1: guess it did for two months. Yeah, yeah, so a 393 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,159 Speaker 1: little bit of help when my parents came down to 394 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,880 Speaker 1: help for the first month, But after that, I guess 395 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,359 Speaker 1: I kind of learned. And maybe it's a good thing 396 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:27,960 Speaker 1: in a way that I was able to do it 397 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:31,399 Speaker 1: on my own, and thankfully I've had I think Miriam 398 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:35,639 Speaker 1: is a very overall easy child. She sleeps beautifully. She 399 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:37,840 Speaker 1: did not for the first few months, but and that's 400 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:42,840 Speaker 1: obviously very difficult, but now she is a really wonderful sleeper. Again, 401 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:44,760 Speaker 1: she's sleeping right now. I don't expect her to wake 402 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 1: up during this And yeah, overall, she's a pretty happy baby, 403 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,479 Speaker 1: so I think that has really been in my favor. 404 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,920 Speaker 1: So I'm sure if I had a really caligy baby, 405 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 1: one that was really upset a lot, it would be 406 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,680 Speaker 1: a very different story. But because of that, I feel 407 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 1: like manageable. Every once in a while, it's like I 408 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:06,919 Speaker 1: have a dog and you know, he'll throw up and 409 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,760 Speaker 1: trill of a poohee diaper and you know I'm starving, 410 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 1: and all the things seem to collide at once, but 411 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:17,399 Speaker 1: overall it seems just doable. Well that's cool, I mean, 412 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:20,119 Speaker 1: because you have any advice for any of our listeners 413 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 1: who are maybe looking at the same situation, they're say 414 00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:27,560 Speaker 1: it's mid thirties, you know, debating if they want to 415 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:33,199 Speaker 1: go it by themselves or not. Goodness, I mean, I 416 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,960 Speaker 1: am just so glad I did this and I can't 417 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:39,080 Speaker 1: imagine life any other way right now. So if that 418 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,160 Speaker 1: helps it all, And I think even if it were harder, 419 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,360 Speaker 1: I'd somehow make it work as well. I mean, i'd 420 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:46,560 Speaker 1: have to, but I just am thankful every day with her. 421 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:50,199 Speaker 1: She is just a joy. Yeah, So it seems like 422 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 1: it was this crazy idea in the beginning, and now 423 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,480 Speaker 1: it just I can't imagine it any other way. So, 424 00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,160 Speaker 1: which is we discuss is a theme in your life. 425 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,240 Speaker 1: I mean it's like, really, you did the same thing. 426 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,800 Speaker 1: You've had two babies. You had the store baby and 427 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,879 Speaker 1: then the baby baby. Yeah, and both times were like 428 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,240 Speaker 1: kind of like not risky, but kind of like things 429 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 1: that other people might have been hesitant because it just 430 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 1: there's no like a clear path, but you made your path, 431 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,119 Speaker 1: and I think it's awesome. Yeah, I feel like it 432 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:22,160 Speaker 1: was sort of impulsive but also sort of thought out 433 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:25,159 Speaker 1: and then I get you know, I ruminate on something 434 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:27,760 Speaker 1: and then I really want it. So I guess that 435 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:32,200 Speaker 1: finally clicking the trigger is you just have to make 436 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,360 Speaker 1: that leap of faith at some point that it's going 437 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 1: to be okay, because I don't think there's anything in 438 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,280 Speaker 1: the world, like I don't think there's any way that 439 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:42,320 Speaker 1: I could have known, like everything would just pan out. 440 00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,000 Speaker 1: You know, it is a risk, financially, it's a risk 441 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:48,360 Speaker 1: in so many ways, but I don't think there's anything 442 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,639 Speaker 1: that would have just told me for sure that it 443 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,960 Speaker 1: was the right time. Well, there we go. I love it. 444 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:59,040 Speaker 1: This was great. I think I'm so excited for our 445 00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:02,040 Speaker 1: listeners to to hear your story in this episode, and 446 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:03,480 Speaker 1: I was joking. I was like, you know, she'd be 447 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:07,400 Speaker 1: an amazing guest even if she wasn't also my sister. 448 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,120 Speaker 1: Do you have any Sarah stories you want to tell 449 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:13,880 Speaker 1: us that what she was like growing up? We got 450 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:17,960 Speaker 1: to hear about her planning list that you discovered in 451 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:22,000 Speaker 1: your parents' home, of her goals when she was nineteen 452 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:26,920 Speaker 1: eighty six. Goals list was featured previously. But yes, embarrassing 453 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:30,439 Speaker 1: Sarah story. I have one, the little maternal story that 454 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,800 Speaker 1: I think of because we you know, it was we 455 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,040 Speaker 1: were pretty close in age, so we played together a lot. 456 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:39,000 Speaker 1: And a very common game we played was Sarah was teacher. 457 00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 1: I was a student, and then I was an orphan 458 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:47,359 Speaker 1: and Sarah would adopt me over and over again. And 459 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,040 Speaker 1: sometimes I feel like you were like I don't want 460 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:50,280 Speaker 1: to do this. I'm like no, no, no no, no, no, 461 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:55,879 Speaker 1: like we have to do it again. Yep. I have 462 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,400 Speaker 1: very vivid memories of that as well. So I hope 463 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:03,480 Speaker 1: the Genevieve and Miriam can can like reenact that someday. 464 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:08,040 Speaker 1: I think it would be amazing. Yeah, because we're about 465 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:11,680 Speaker 1: there's almost the same art. Yeah. Yes, I mentioned in 466 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,000 Speaker 1: the intro that you know, Genevieve and Miriam are closer 467 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,119 Speaker 1: in age than Genevieve is to her older siblings. So 468 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 1: I imagine someday down the road we're going to have 469 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,760 Speaker 1: some great cousin kind of gang time altogether, and I 470 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:25,040 Speaker 1: think those two hopefully can be close. Well, do you 471 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,119 Speaker 1: have a love of the week for it? Did I 472 00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:28,639 Speaker 1: warn you about love of the week? Or did I forget? 473 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,399 Speaker 1: Did you did for me? And I have I believe 474 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,600 Speaker 1: I have a great love of the week. So this 475 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,480 Speaker 1: is just it was an odd heaven stance. I went 476 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:38,199 Speaker 1: to the grocery store for the first time. I went 477 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:41,080 Speaker 1: to Trader Joe's. They were actually very very organized, by 478 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:45,320 Speaker 1: the way, and a woman was loading up gooseberries into 479 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:49,520 Speaker 1: her cart. I had seen them before, and I was intrigued, 480 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 1: but I'd never bought them. And she said, oh, yeah, 481 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,159 Speaker 1: I love them. I love them just pop in my 482 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,640 Speaker 1: mouth raw, And so I bought a container, took him home, 483 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 1: ate one did not like it. Decided then to look 484 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,480 Speaker 1: up recipes, found a recipe for a gooseberry compote, and 485 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:08,320 Speaker 1: now it is my favorite thing. So on yogurt, probably 486 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,760 Speaker 1: on ice cream, probably over waffles, anything you want, but 487 00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:16,000 Speaker 1: gooseberries cooked are wonderful. Wow, sounds good. I love that. 488 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:19,040 Speaker 1: I love the level of the week. Mine is super 489 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:23,240 Speaker 1: super superficial. It is the today, and I'm also like 490 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,520 Speaker 1: having amnesia today. Whether I've mentioned this before, but who 491 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:27,199 Speaker 1: cares if I did all mention it again. It's that good. 492 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:32,480 Speaker 1: It's the pharmacy, sleep tight firming night Bomb is very thick. 493 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,439 Speaker 1: It'd be good for winter if we had winter, but 494 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,399 Speaker 1: I just sort of craved that anyway. Like you know, 495 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:38,879 Speaker 1: some creams you put them on and your face is 496 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,679 Speaker 1: kind of cold because maybe they have some alcohol in it. 497 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:44,000 Speaker 1: This is not that. This is very almost petroleum jelly 498 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,919 Speaker 1: in texture, but smells a million times better and you 499 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,840 Speaker 1: wake up and your skin is nice and soft. It's 500 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:52,560 Speaker 1: they advertise themselves as like a retinol alternative, and I 501 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,240 Speaker 1: don't really see it that way, like I'll put retinol 502 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,520 Speaker 1: on and then put this on top. But I really 503 00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:00,960 Speaker 1: like it. That's exciting. Mine this week is Green Drop, 504 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,920 Speaker 1: which is a company or organization that will come pick 505 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:10,359 Speaker 1: up your things that you would donate to various charities 506 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,679 Speaker 1: that then usually sell them. I think what they do 507 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,159 Speaker 1: is they sell them then in thrift stores and or 508 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:18,760 Speaker 1: to scrap dealers or whatever. And I just recently read 509 00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:21,920 Speaker 1: a book called a second Hand Planet, or it was 510 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,080 Speaker 1: called Secondhand. It was about what actually happens to all 511 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,520 Speaker 1: your stuff when you donate it to places like this. 512 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,280 Speaker 1: So let's just say it goes somewhere and the money 513 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,399 Speaker 1: then goes to these charities that will use it. But anyway, 514 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,159 Speaker 1: it makes it very convenient to clean out stuff. I've 515 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:35,480 Speaker 1: been trying to get rid of a lot of stuff 516 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,399 Speaker 1: in my house to save boxes and put old books 517 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,439 Speaker 1: and clothes and all that stuff in there. But you 518 00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,560 Speaker 1: just schedule a pick up, put it on your front porch, 519 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,680 Speaker 1: they come get it. That's all you have to do. 520 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,680 Speaker 1: So it's much easier than trying to drag it somewhere. 521 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,119 Speaker 1: So it just takes one extra little step out of 522 00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:51,879 Speaker 1: the pill love that I may look that up. Yeah, yeah, 523 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,080 Speaker 1: I think they're all around everywhere. I know they're here, 524 00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,080 Speaker 1: but they probably are or there's something similar I'm sure 525 00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,840 Speaker 1: around the country. So yeah, look into it. Tell our 526 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,919 Speaker 1: listeners who might want to order yarn from you or 527 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,159 Speaker 1: check out your store where they can find you in 528 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,880 Speaker 1: the social media world and ordering information. Yeah, So it's 529 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,640 Speaker 1: warm and Fuzzy is the name of the store and 530 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:17,879 Speaker 1: the website. It's warm the Lettern Fuzzy dot com. We're 531 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:22,600 Speaker 1: on Instagram at warm and Fuzzy and Facebook as well. 532 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:27,000 Speaker 1: We have a weekly live video Tuesdays at ten thirty 533 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:32,720 Speaker 1: Eastern on Facebook. Wonderful. So go see Rebecca for all 534 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:36,720 Speaker 1: your yarn needs. And hopefully we've got a few listeners 535 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:38,520 Speaker 1: who are like you when it comes to yarn stores, 536 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:40,640 Speaker 1: they just go and buy tons of it whenever they 537 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,640 Speaker 1: wind up somewhere. So and let us know if they 538 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,960 Speaker 1: have great orders. We'd love to hear about it. All right, 539 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,880 Speaker 1: Welcome Rebecca, thanks for joining us for the tipsode so fun. 540 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:53,640 Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you for having me. Well, 541 00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,280 Speaker 1: that was awesome. We've here from Rebecca. And so this 542 00:28:56,360 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 1: few weeks question comes from a listener who has a toddler, 543 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,240 Speaker 1: and she says that the podcast has been helping her 544 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,280 Speaker 1: rethink her routines and her work life balance, and so 545 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:09,480 Speaker 1: that's awesome. And she says, yesterday, my family of three 546 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,680 Speaker 1: attempted a short trip to a nearby city to run 547 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,520 Speaker 1: some errands and just get out of the stroller ruts 548 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 1: in our small town. To cut to the chase the 549 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,880 Speaker 1: trip ended up being her mostly fussing or crying in 550 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:22,160 Speaker 1: the car, although generally being okay when we were out. However, 551 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,200 Speaker 1: the stress from the combined three hours in the car 552 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:26,560 Speaker 1: like that put my husband and I at each other's throats. 553 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,360 Speaker 1: We criticized and fought until now we are stewing in 554 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,720 Speaker 1: silence the next day. Toddlers can't control their emotions, but 555 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,000 Speaker 1: adults should. So I have a two part question. One 556 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,520 Speaker 1: any tips for entertaining are toddler in the car so 557 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,480 Speaker 1: we don't get to this breaking point and be one 558 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:43,160 Speaker 1: and two? Or I don't any ideas on how to 559 00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:46,120 Speaker 1: diffuse a difficult situation like that when we are in 560 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:49,840 Speaker 1: the car and can't physically take a break. So, Sarah, 561 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,600 Speaker 1: what do you have? I love this question. I mean 562 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:56,280 Speaker 1: I felt for her. I mean we've been there kind of. 563 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,400 Speaker 1: But then I would say, I mean, I'll skip to 564 00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:02,400 Speaker 1: my last part, which is like, well, now you maybe 565 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:06,720 Speaker 1: learn something and maybe next time, if you really know 566 00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,920 Speaker 1: that your baby is not going to tolerate the car, 567 00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:11,680 Speaker 1: maybe don't take them on that long of a car trip. 568 00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:13,440 Speaker 1: But it doesn't mean that that will still be the 569 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,880 Speaker 1: same in six months. Because the wonderful thing about toddler's 570 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,840 Speaker 1: is they're constantly changing, and so they're not going to 571 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:20,800 Speaker 1: stay toddlers forever unless you have another baby and have 572 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,680 Speaker 1: a new toddler. This this, you know, you might need 573 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,240 Speaker 1: this advice for a brief period which might seem like 574 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:27,880 Speaker 1: forever right now, but I promise you it's not. So 575 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,959 Speaker 1: that's my number four. But my other thoughts were, if 576 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:33,040 Speaker 1: there's any way you can get in more time outside 577 00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:34,800 Speaker 1: to try to kind of tire them out before they 578 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:36,840 Speaker 1: get back in the car. That's been helpful for us. 579 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,640 Speaker 1: We have noted that the iPad with Mickey Mouse on 580 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,360 Speaker 1: it can be a solve for a child as young 581 00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:45,479 Speaker 1: as you know, six eight months, just the colors and 582 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,880 Speaker 1: you know, of course that's not really like something that 583 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,920 Speaker 1: we do regularly in our family put babies in front 584 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,240 Speaker 1: of Mickey Mouse, but in the car when they're crying, 585 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,440 Speaker 1: like that is the time to do that. At least 586 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 1: that's how we see it. So we have definitely stooped 587 00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:01,800 Speaker 1: to that level. And then number three just the diffusing. 588 00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:03,360 Speaker 1: I think that's when you just got to like look 589 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,280 Speaker 1: at your partner and just be like, well, this is 590 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,000 Speaker 1: kind of we have to like see the humor in this, 591 00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:10,080 Speaker 1: like we have to see the fact that, like, we 592 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:12,840 Speaker 1: are stuck in a car with no other choice, and 593 00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,320 Speaker 1: our intent was to have fun, and here we are, 594 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:19,760 Speaker 1: and like, what can we do to just see the 595 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:21,800 Speaker 1: sort of irony in it. You're in the trenches with 596 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:26,959 Speaker 1: your band of brothers, right exactly, bonding, binding the bombs 597 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,560 Speaker 1: are going off, you know, that's kind of what it is. No, 598 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:33,440 Speaker 1: this question made me laugh too, because I mean, I'm 599 00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:37,000 Speaker 1: sure our listener is wonderful and sophisticated and just amazing 600 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:38,880 Speaker 1: parent and all this stuff, but they are relatively new 601 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:41,320 Speaker 1: to parenthood, right, and like if they have one toddler, 602 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,760 Speaker 1: and so I'm sure there was this idea of a 603 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,400 Speaker 1: lovely family trip, and of course the toddler didn't read 604 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:51,160 Speaker 1: the plan, and so there's this mismatch between expectations and reality. 605 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,520 Speaker 1: And of course the Buddha says that this is the 606 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:58,280 Speaker 1: cause of all suffering, is the mismatch between expectations and reality. 607 00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:00,760 Speaker 1: But I think the way you have to view this 608 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:04,480 Speaker 1: is that a day can have unpleasant moments and not 609 00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:07,440 Speaker 1: be all unpleasant. Right, you have to be very very 610 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 1: careful with your narrative, because if you are looking for 611 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,320 Speaker 1: three points of evidence that this day was atrocious, Like 612 00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:14,520 Speaker 1: you got them right, Like you can find your three 613 00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:16,760 Speaker 1: points of evidence, like the toddler scream my husband and 614 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,560 Speaker 1: I hate each other, like whatever, Like you've got three 615 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,640 Speaker 1: points that like I should never do this again. And 616 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,080 Speaker 1: I've seen posts from people being like, you know, when 617 00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:26,080 Speaker 1: I have children, will never travel because it looks so 618 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,480 Speaker 1: hard for the parents and the kids, and some people 619 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:29,880 Speaker 1: will just have to come to us. And I'm like, 620 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,680 Speaker 1: well great, So then if you have cousins, for instance, 621 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,440 Speaker 1: like you'll never see each other, Like if that's your attitude, 622 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:37,520 Speaker 1: like it's so miserable to travel that we just can't 623 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,160 Speaker 1: do it with young kids, then like you will never 624 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,440 Speaker 1: see your extended family, you'll never see your cousins, you'll 625 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,239 Speaker 1: never see other friends. Like it just like okay, if 626 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,000 Speaker 1: that's how you want to live your life. But you know, 627 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,479 Speaker 1: I think you have to just decide that there can 628 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:54,160 Speaker 1: be miserable moments and yet the overall whole can be okay. 629 00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:57,160 Speaker 1: I mean, I wrote, have some of our listeners read 630 00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:00,080 Speaker 1: I know how she does it. I discussed in There 631 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,640 Speaker 1: a beach trip back in what I believe was the 632 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:06,440 Speaker 1: summer of twenty fourteen, where you know, if I wanted 633 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,360 Speaker 1: to say that this was a miserable trip, like there 634 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,200 Speaker 1: there were plenty of that. Like we got caught in 635 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:15,080 Speaker 1: like a two hour traffic jam, you know, the seagulls 636 00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:18,960 Speaker 1: slore are dessert that. There was a lot of baby 637 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,040 Speaker 1: screaming or two year old screaming. I guess. There was 638 00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:24,960 Speaker 1: Sam vomited all over the place like multiple times. So 639 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,040 Speaker 1: it was just really everything that you know could possibly 640 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,720 Speaker 1: go wrong with a family car trip. But on the 641 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,640 Speaker 1: other hand, there were some really cool moments too. I 642 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:36,080 Speaker 1: mean there's you know, pretty beach like good lobster dinner 643 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,600 Speaker 1: we had, Like there were moments that didn't involve screaming 644 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,320 Speaker 1: and vomiting. So like, I'm which moments am I seeing 645 00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,760 Speaker 1: the screaming and vomiting ones? Are they not screaming and 646 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,800 Speaker 1: vomiting ones? And so I think we just have to 647 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:50,440 Speaker 1: focus on, in this case, the lovely parts of walking 648 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,800 Speaker 1: around a new place, of being out and about and 649 00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:55,680 Speaker 1: seeing you know, new stuff, spending some time together, and 650 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:58,520 Speaker 1: the rest is just transaction costs and you know, part 651 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:01,720 Speaker 1: of the package with parenthoods. So man up, woman up, 652 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,640 Speaker 1: you know, coming up, woman up. All right, Well, this 653 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,920 Speaker 1: has been best of Both worlds. We've been interviewing Rebecca 654 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,040 Speaker 1: Heart and we will be back next week with more 655 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:15,360 Speaker 1: on making work and life fit together. Thanks for listening. 656 00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,719 Speaker 1: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com 657 00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:22,600 Speaker 1: or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can 658 00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:26,880 Speaker 1: find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has 659 00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:30,239 Speaker 1: been the Best of Both Worlds podcasts. Please join us 660 00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:33,640 Speaker 1: next time for more on making work and life work together.