1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:01,880 Speaker 1: If you have your own story of being in a 2 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:03,760 Speaker 1: cult or a high control group. 3 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:06,760 Speaker 2: Or if you've had experience with manipulation or abusive power 4 00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:07,760 Speaker 2: that you'd like to share. 5 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:10,040 Speaker 1: Leave us a message on our hotline number at three 6 00:00:10,039 --> 00:00:12,320 Speaker 1: four seven eight six trust. 7 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 2: That's three four seven eight six eight seven eight seven eight. 8 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 1: Or showed us an email at trustmepod at gmail dot com. 9 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 2: Trust me, Trust trust me. 10 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:24,919 Speaker 3: I'm like a swat person. 11 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:28,280 Speaker 1: I've never lived to you, and we never have a live. 12 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 2: If you think that one person has all the answers, 13 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:35,320 Speaker 2: don't welcome to Trust Me. The podcast about cults, extreme 14 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 2: belief and manipulation from two airbuds who've actually experienced it. 15 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,520 Speaker 1: I'm Lola Blanc and I'm Megan Elizabeth. 16 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 2: Today our guest is the fabulous Kara Goucher. She is 17 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 2: an accomplished long distance runner and she is the author 18 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,479 Speaker 2: of a book called The Longest Race, which has just 19 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 2: come out. She's going to talk to us about how 20 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 2: she got her start running, how she became a professional athlete, 21 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 2: and why it was a dream come true when Nike 22 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 2: called inviting her to join the Nike organ Project with 23 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 2: iconic coach Alberto Salazar. It was like getting an invitation 24 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 2: to Hogwarts, but for running. 25 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:06,959 Speaker 1: She'll talk to us about how her coach was effective 26 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:10,560 Speaker 1: at first using unconventional methods to improve her running, including 27 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,520 Speaker 1: some that were later widely accepted as effective, but how 28 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:17,440 Speaker 1: those methods became more controlling and inappropriate over time, ultimately 29 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 1: leading her to become a whistleblower about what she experienced. 30 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 2: Plus the dark contrast she saw when she actually experienced 31 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 2: a healthy relationship with a coach. And I think that 32 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 2: stuff is always important to mention what a healthy dynamic 33 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 2: can look like. Healthy leadership, healthy leadership, healthy coaching. Healthy. 34 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 2: I mean, it's not that rare. I stopped that. I 35 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 2: think it's out there. I think it's out there before 36 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 2: we dive in. 37 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll be more positive. It's probably more rare to 38 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: have it be super narcissistic and abusive. 39 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:48,280 Speaker 2: I think that is probably more rare. It's just those 40 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 2: are the stories that obviously capture our attention more. 41 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: I agree, great reframe, Lola. 42 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 2: Thank you. What's your culties? Saying Megan, it's. 43 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: Sad, but I'm just going to go for it. Okay, Okay. 44 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: There's a church in Kenya called the Good News International Church, 45 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,720 Speaker 1: not good news coming out of it. Right now, another 46 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:07,800 Speaker 1: forty six people were just found dead there. It's kind 47 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,920 Speaker 1: of like a oh my gosh, Jonestown type of thing 48 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: where they're starving themselves to meet Jesus. So not quite 49 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,640 Speaker 1: sure what the total body count has come to now, 50 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 1: but it's a lot of people. 51 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:22,520 Speaker 2: There's an article today I see that says, now there's 52 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 2: fifty eight. 53 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 1: That is so horrible, I know, and it's not really 54 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 1: getting any publicity, which is odd. 55 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 2: But CNN actually posted it today, so that's good at least. 56 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:34,639 Speaker 1: So fifty eight you said, fifty. 57 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 2: Eight so far. Yeah, this is like devastating mass graves 58 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,120 Speaker 2: linked to religious cult whose followers allegedly starve themselves to 59 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,839 Speaker 2: get to heaven. Ah, that's so awful. I like can't 60 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 2: even wrap my head around it. I know, the fact 61 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,880 Speaker 2: that that still is happening, you know, like it it 62 00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 2: feels like the mass death version of Colts is a 63 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 2: thing of the past, but it just isn't. And that 64 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:54,440 Speaker 2: is so fucking horrific. 65 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really bad. 66 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 2: Do we know what's happening with like who the leader 67 00:02:58,200 --> 00:02:59,120 Speaker 2: is or what's going on. 68 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 1: Well, the leader turned himself into the police, so hopefully 69 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 1: that will be the end of it, but it sounds 70 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,240 Speaker 1: like there might be more people involved, so. 71 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:05,919 Speaker 4: We shall see. 72 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 5: Wow. 73 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 2: I wonder what it would take for a leader to 74 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 2: turn themselves into the police. Like I wonder if it's 75 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 2: like your delusional delusion will no this is working, though, 76 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 2: this is working, and then at some point you're like, wait, 77 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 2: maybe this isn't working. I would love to know the 78 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 2: what's happening exactly totally. Well, that's sad. Thanks for bringing 79 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 2: it down, Megan, You're welcome. 80 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 1: What about you, Lela, what's the cultiest thing that happened 81 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 1: to you this week? 82 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 2: Well, not as tragic. Good. My friend was in town 83 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 2: for a workshop that is a workshop for like, you know, 84 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 2: Hollywood folk. And I've heard about this workshop before. It's 85 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 2: run by a person I will not name their gender 86 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 2: because I know a lot of people really like this person. Okay, 87 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 2: let's call them Casey. Let's say this unnamed gender person 88 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 2: is Casey. Casey runs a home Hollywood workshop that I've 89 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:07,880 Speaker 2: heard very culty stories about how they will like present 90 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 2: an unanswerable, like vague question and when people answer in 91 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 2: a normal way, they're like, you're not getting it, and 92 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:20,159 Speaker 2: they like make them they like push them until they 93 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,400 Speaker 2: get the right answer. I'm saying this in quotation works. 94 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 2: It's not like a black and white thing where like, oh, 95 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 2: Casey's an abuser, but there are people who have felt 96 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 2: uncomfortable and pushed a little too hard and paying a 97 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:35,920 Speaker 2: lot of money, some over a long period of time 98 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 2: to get the wisdom from Casey. That said, you know, 99 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,919 Speaker 2: one of the things that I was talking about with 100 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:44,560 Speaker 2: my friend who attended this workshop was like, Casey has 101 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:49,440 Speaker 2: been very effective. Casey has very successful clients. Casey is 102 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 2: like getting at story in a way that is like 103 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 2: clicking for people when other frameworks maybe didn't click for them. 104 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 2: So it can be very difficult when there's not explicit 105 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 2: abuse happening and the method is working for people, it 106 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,720 Speaker 2: can be hard to know where that line is. I think, 107 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 2: of course, but some of the exercises that they do, 108 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 2: I was just like, stoh, but this is like out 109 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,360 Speaker 2: of the cult playbook? 110 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 1: Is it an acting workshop? 111 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:24,599 Speaker 2: It's like acting and directing and writing and you know, 112 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 2: like just general sort of storytelling. I see they have 113 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 2: like different like versions of it or whatever. Also, it 114 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,800 Speaker 2: sounds like Casey is maybe like a full blown narcissist, 115 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 2: But has also implemented some reform, presumably because they got 116 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 2: some complaints. So it's like, okay, if they are implementing 117 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:48,840 Speaker 2: reform in the like key ways, like how you know 118 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:49,679 Speaker 2: that's good? 119 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 1: You know, well, did she have a good experience? 120 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 2: Mixed? Okay, mixed? Yeah, because like again it's like my friend, 121 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:02,640 Speaker 2: like something's clicked for my friend, but then other things, 122 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:07,160 Speaker 2: you know, she's like, well, Casey, Casey is a questionable 123 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 2: is of questionable character potentially, and was doing some sort 124 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 2: of like very culty things, but also like I did 125 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:16,840 Speaker 2: get value out of it. 126 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,479 Speaker 1: That's so interesting because that's the perfect thing to lead 127 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,919 Speaker 1: into today's interview, where it's like if this is your dream, 128 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: if something's your dream, if you want to be the 129 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 1: best at it, what do you do if you're getting 130 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,200 Speaker 1: results from a coach or from a teacher? 131 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:30,920 Speaker 4: Right? 132 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:31,600 Speaker 2: Exactly? 133 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's exactly what Cayla talks to us about. 134 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, And one of the things that you know comes 135 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 2: up is like, well, colts do get results. I mean 136 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,039 Speaker 2: I'm not saying that this that Casey is a cult leader. 137 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 2: I am not saying that. I'm just saying like there 138 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 2: are just elements there. Yeah, that emanate cultiness. But like, 139 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 2: I'm not going to fully it's not like a full 140 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 2: fledged cult, that's not what's happening. But there are just 141 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:55,200 Speaker 2: enough elements happening that I'm like, eh, I wouldn't I 142 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,279 Speaker 2: wouldn't go. I wouldn't spend my money on that, and 143 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,400 Speaker 2: keep spending my money on that, right, But yeah, the 144 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:03,040 Speaker 2: thing about cults is that they work. They're meeting and eat, 145 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,599 Speaker 2: they're doing something. They're helping yea, And that is the 146 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 2: thing people forget so much at the time, Like that's 147 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 2: how people get in because there's great people there and 148 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:14,239 Speaker 2: they're learning valuable information or it seems like it's helping 149 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 2: with whatever problem that they have. Like no one is 150 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 2: dumb for going to Casey's workshops, you know, like it 151 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 2: makes sense. You see Casey's clients, You're like, they're really successful. 152 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 2: My friends who are super smart, had an amazing time 153 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 2: and learned a lot. Like, of course you're gonna go. 154 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 2: You can afford it, you know, I would, but I'm 155 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 2: not paying for that. But but if I had endless money, 156 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 2: you know, I would probably want to try it, just 157 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 2: simply have curiosity and probably to talk about it on 158 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 2: this podcast. 159 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 4: Wow. 160 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 1: Well, soon enough. 161 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,840 Speaker 2: I can't wait. All right, that's it for me. 162 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,400 Speaker 1: All right, well shall we talk to her? 163 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,480 Speaker 2: Let's do it. 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Go to 181 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 2: ZocDoc dot com, slash trust me and download the ZocDoc 182 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,960 Speaker 2: app for free. Then find and book a top rated 183 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:44,000 Speaker 2: doctor today. Many are available within twenty four hours. That's 184 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:50,800 Speaker 2: ZocDoc dot com, slash trust me, ZocDoc dot com slash 185 00:08:50,880 --> 00:09:01,960 Speaker 2: trust mecome Carri Goucher to trust me. Thank you so 186 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:02,840 Speaker 2: much for joining. 187 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 4: Us, Thank you, thanks for having me. 188 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 2: You are a long distance runner. You were the ten 189 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 2: thousand meter silver medallist at the two thousand and seven 190 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:11,600 Speaker 2: World Championships in Athletics and represented the USA at the 191 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,520 Speaker 2: two thousand and eight Beijing Olympics in twenty twelve, London 192 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,719 Speaker 2: Olympics major marathon debut in two thousand and eight, and 193 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 2: finished third the following year at the Boston Marathon. Is 194 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 2: that all the highlights? 195 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's that's pretty much. 196 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 2: It sounds amazing, amazing. We both read your book and 197 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:28,960 Speaker 2: absolutely loved it. It's fascinating and heart striding and so 198 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,240 Speaker 2: inspiring what you've been able to accomplish despite everything that 199 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,720 Speaker 2: you've been through. So start us at the beginning of 200 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 2: your journey and tell us how you realize that you 201 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 2: loved running. 202 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I started running. 203 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 3: Actually, my first time I ran was when I was 204 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 3: six years old, my grandpa took me to a race. 205 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 3: My grandpa was a lifelong runner. He never really raced, 206 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 3: but he just loved the movement of running and he 207 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 3: made it. He felt like it made his mind clear, 208 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,160 Speaker 3: his day was better. So he took me to my 209 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 3: first event and it was just the two of us, 210 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 3: so that felt really special. And then I just kept running. 211 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 3: I would run little races here and there, and then 212 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 3: in middle school, I officially joined a running team and 213 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:09,640 Speaker 3: I loved it right away. 214 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:10,800 Speaker 4: I loved it so much. 215 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:13,680 Speaker 3: I loved running, but I also loved the friendships and 216 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 3: just the whole culture around it. 217 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,320 Speaker 1: Can you tell us about your babysitter telling you to 218 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 1: pass her because I love it? 219 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 2: That's just sweet. Yeah. 220 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:24,319 Speaker 3: So in seventh grade, I ran for my middle school 221 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:25,959 Speaker 3: in the fall, but then I got invited to run 222 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,680 Speaker 3: for the high school in the spring. So I was 223 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:30,840 Speaker 3: with this little group of girls that we were like 224 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,840 Speaker 3: so young, and we walked down the hill from middle 225 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,520 Speaker 3: school to the high school and we ran for the 226 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,319 Speaker 3: high school track team. And one of my first races 227 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,960 Speaker 3: for my high school, I was running and I was 228 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 3: my babysitter. My old babysitter was right in front of me, 229 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 3: and I just felt like I couldn't pass her. I 230 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 3: felt like, like three years ago, she was tucking me 231 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 3: in bed. No, I can't pass her in this race. 232 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 3: But she was awesome and she was like, care just 233 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,440 Speaker 3: pass me, And even afterwards she was like, don't be 234 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,720 Speaker 3: afraid to win, don't be afraid to beat me, you know, 235 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:01,000 Speaker 3: And so yeah, early on, I like that was a 236 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 3: great lesson of being competitive. There's nothing wrong with being competitive, 237 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,760 Speaker 3: but also how to treat other people, you know, Like 238 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 3: later on, my little sister was shadowing me and I 239 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,000 Speaker 3: actually had to tell her to pass me. 240 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,199 Speaker 4: So I learned early on you got to let those 241 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:13,679 Speaker 4: things go. 242 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,560 Speaker 1: I think one of the most shocking part is that 243 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 1: you guys have enough breath to talk to each other. 244 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 2: I would not I even run one block. No, I 245 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 2: don't know how you do it. And tell us about 246 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 2: your how you ended up with your partner who is 247 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 2: also a runner. 248 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, I went to the University of Colorado on a 249 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,760 Speaker 3: track scholarship and he was also at the University of Colorado. 250 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,800 Speaker 3: I had briefly met him in high school at this 251 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 3: national high school cross country championship, but he does not 252 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,440 Speaker 3: remember meeting me or anything. 253 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 4: Wow. 254 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:48,280 Speaker 3: But I went to Colorado and he was there, and 255 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,480 Speaker 3: he was a really really great athlete. In fact, he 256 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:53,079 Speaker 3: made an Olympic team in two thousand as well, and 257 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,199 Speaker 3: you know, we're just kind of sort of friends, loose friends. 258 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,079 Speaker 3: And then when he graduated, he came back and was 259 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 3: still training full time. It's a professional athlete, and we 260 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 3: just started to hang out a little bit more. And yeah, 261 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,560 Speaker 3: we'll be married twenty two years this fall, which makes 262 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 3: me feel really old. 263 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:13,040 Speaker 2: But yeah, amazing though. I mean, I love how much 264 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 2: of your book embodies this like non competitive just like 265 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 2: supportive spirit with the people in your life and also 266 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 2: just other runners that you meet. It's like it's very 267 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,960 Speaker 2: inspiring because I feel like there's a lot of the 268 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,160 Speaker 2: opposite of that in the entertainment industry. 269 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,319 Speaker 1: Yes, oh, I. 270 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,440 Speaker 3: Bet no, and I have experience that in the running 271 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,720 Speaker 3: industry as well. But I was lucky to have my 272 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,560 Speaker 3: husband who is super supportive, my family that was always 273 00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:36,679 Speaker 3: lifting me up, and I typically had teammates. 274 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 4: That also were like that. It's a tough sport. 275 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 3: Just I'm sure as the entertainment industry, where you know, 276 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,560 Speaker 3: people want to protect their little sliver but I think 277 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:48,079 Speaker 3: we've learned over time that someone else's success doesn't dim 278 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 3: your success. And I was really lucky to have cool 279 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:51,880 Speaker 3: people in my life that felt that way. 280 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:55,440 Speaker 2: That's very cool. So both of you, you're this running 281 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:58,920 Speaker 2: power couple and you get involved with Nike. Tell us 282 00:12:58,920 --> 00:12:59,880 Speaker 2: about how that started. 283 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, So I had signed a contract with Nike right 284 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 3: out of college. My husband actually had a different sponsor, 285 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 3: but then he also switched to Nike. And in two 286 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 3: thousand and four we got invited to come out to 287 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:13,000 Speaker 3: check out the Nike organ Project, which was kind of 288 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 3: revolutionary at the time. It was professionalizing running distance running specifically, 289 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,720 Speaker 3: and to be completely honest, they just wanted my husband. 290 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,720 Speaker 3: It was a male only team and they just wanted him. 291 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,720 Speaker 3: You know, they had had some success, but they had 292 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:28,440 Speaker 3: never had like a superstar joined the team, and he 293 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 3: was a superstar in the distance running world at that time. 294 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:33,439 Speaker 3: And so we went out to visit and it was 295 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:36,960 Speaker 3: kind of like, and we'll help you too, But it 296 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,839 Speaker 3: seemed like a huge opportunity. I felt lucky that it 297 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:40,720 Speaker 3: would be the first. 298 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:41,160 Speaker 4: Woman to join. 299 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 3: You know, it was based out of the Nike campus. 300 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 3: We'd be training on the Nike campus, using all the 301 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:47,360 Speaker 3: facilities there. 302 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,079 Speaker 4: We would have all. 303 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:52,800 Speaker 3: The medical we needed with you know, massage therapists, PT 304 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 3: and all sorts of equipment and technology. 305 00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:57,400 Speaker 4: We would be ahead of the. 306 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 3: Game in every sense of the word. We'd have a 307 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,520 Speaker 3: budget to travel and train high it altitude, and you know, 308 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 3: we went on this visit and we kind of felt like, 309 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,480 Speaker 3: if we passed this up, we're crazy. 310 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 4: Especially Yeah. 311 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was like everything you needed to be successful. 312 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,280 Speaker 3: And the coach at the time, Alberta Salzar, said, just 313 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 3: come for six months and don't sell your house. If 314 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,120 Speaker 3: you hate it, you can go back home. So it 315 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,960 Speaker 3: really was a no brainer. But we felt lucky to 316 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:22,560 Speaker 3: be invited. 317 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,680 Speaker 1: You said it was like getting an invitation from Hogwarts, 318 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,280 Speaker 1: which it really sounds like that. Can you tell us 319 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,360 Speaker 1: about some of the weird machines that they had there. 320 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, So, for instance, the team at the time was 321 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,440 Speaker 3: living in a house that was simulated to be at altitude, 322 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 3: So Portland, Oregon is not at altitude, but. 323 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,600 Speaker 4: The house was sealed. 324 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,440 Speaker 3: So with less oxygenated air pumped into every room, so 325 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,240 Speaker 3: it was like you were living in the mountains even 326 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,040 Speaker 3: though you were just in Portland. 327 00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:47,480 Speaker 4: Wow. 328 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:51,240 Speaker 3: They also had underwater treadmills, like a treadmill underwater, so 329 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 3: you could run when you were injured and keep running 330 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,880 Speaker 3: but not have pounding. They eventually had They were the 331 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,440 Speaker 3: first team to ever get an alter G treadmill, which 332 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 3: is an anti gravity treadmill, which now you'll see every 333 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,280 Speaker 3: single NFL, NBA team has one, but we were actually 334 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,320 Speaker 3: the first group to have one. It kind of takes 335 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,280 Speaker 3: body weight off so you can keep running. So it 336 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 3: was just mind blowing stuff. And for me, I had 337 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,720 Speaker 3: been injured for a long time and I felt like, wow, 338 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,320 Speaker 3: I mean everything here will keep me healthy and maybe 339 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,680 Speaker 3: it could actually achieve some of the dreams that I 340 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:20,560 Speaker 3: had for myself. 341 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 2: Right for our non athletic folks, I would love to 342 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,920 Speaker 2: just like set up a little bit of what the 343 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,240 Speaker 2: culture of running is like, Like, how is Nike viewed, 344 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 2: how are the coaches viewed, how much of the game 345 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:35,080 Speaker 2: is meant? Like, what is different about this experience versus 346 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 2: being a runner before? Obviously besides the gadgetry. 347 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:40,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I mean, big picture, Nike is the number 348 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,040 Speaker 3: one supporter of track and field in the world, and 349 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 3: so they are the biggest funder of our governing body, 350 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 3: which is the USA Track and Field. They're the biggest 351 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 3: supporter of that. So being a Nike athlete is helpful 352 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 3: right away because you can get into certain meats. Some 353 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,080 Speaker 3: of the biggest meats in the world are sponsored by Nike. 354 00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,760 Speaker 3: If you're a Nike athlete, you're going to get in 355 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,000 Speaker 3: or someone who's sponsored by Adidas, even if that person 356 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:06,720 Speaker 3: might be faster than you. So a lot more opportunity 357 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,520 Speaker 3: when you are a Nike athlete. But typically how it 358 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,920 Speaker 3: works is you get a shoe sponsorship and like I said, 359 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 3: I signed with Nike, and so it's not like an 360 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,640 Speaker 3: NBA contractor a bel contract or anything like that. But 361 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:22,080 Speaker 3: you have a yearly salary and then typically there's bonuses 362 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 3: built in based on performance, bonuses for metals or podiums, 363 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 3: things like that. And then you also negotiate with the 364 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 3: competitions you're going to so. 365 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:32,640 Speaker 4: They will pay you as well if you're good. 366 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:34,760 Speaker 3: Like the beginning of my career, I had to beg 367 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 3: and scrape to get into every race I did. Like literally, 368 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,600 Speaker 3: I didn't get into a race unless my husband was running. 369 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:42,640 Speaker 3: It was like we want you, your wife can run. 370 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,040 Speaker 3: But then later on, as you kind of rise in 371 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:48,800 Speaker 3: the ranks. You have contracts with the competitions as well, So. 372 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,640 Speaker 2: There aren't a lot of like alternatives to making money 373 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 2: unless you have a contract with them. 374 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean really, the shoe contract is your lifeline. 375 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,280 Speaker 3: And then and then again you'll make money from different 376 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,520 Speaker 3: competitions as you get better, but the shoe contract is 377 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:03,680 Speaker 3: the big thing. Right. 378 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,320 Speaker 2: This was a totally new project, right. Had this been 379 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 2: a thing before? 380 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,520 Speaker 3: No, So they had started the Nike organ Project at 381 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 3: the end of two thousand to sort of bring back 382 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:14,359 Speaker 3: distance running to the United States because. 383 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,280 Speaker 4: We really were in a drought, like we would. 384 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:18,400 Speaker 3: Go to the Olympics but just get annihilated, or at 385 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,920 Speaker 3: the major marathons, we would celebrate if someone got eighth 386 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,520 Speaker 3: or ninth, and so the whole idea was, let's give 387 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 3: these athletes everything they need and let's bring distance running 388 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:30,280 Speaker 3: back to the forefront in America. And so nothing like 389 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,280 Speaker 3: that was going on, you know, and so. 390 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:32,919 Speaker 4: It was started. 391 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,120 Speaker 3: Basically, the first team got together in two thousand and one, 392 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 3: and it was hard to convince people to join because 393 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,760 Speaker 3: it was just like, join this project, right, But then 394 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,080 Speaker 3: they had had some success In two thousand and four, 395 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,760 Speaker 3: Dan Brown made the Olympic team in both the ten 396 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,520 Speaker 3: thousand and the marathon. He hadn't made that shift to 397 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,399 Speaker 3: the international level, but he was making Olympic teams. And 398 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,800 Speaker 3: so we came in in two thousand and four where 399 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,520 Speaker 3: the project was still relatively new, but they were really 400 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 3: trying to get a little bit higher caliber athletes. 401 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,840 Speaker 1: And the project was getting some traction because it was 402 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,400 Speaker 1: coached by a man named Alberto Correct. Can you tell us, yes, 403 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:08,920 Speaker 1: a little bit about about Alberto. 404 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:13,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, Alberto Salzar was like this very famous iconic runner 405 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:15,400 Speaker 3: in the distance world. He won the New York City 406 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 3: Marathon three times, he won the Boston Marathon. He was 407 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:22,159 Speaker 3: known for racing all out, collapsing at the end, like 408 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:25,199 Speaker 3: he had his rights read once because he died at 409 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,800 Speaker 3: the finish line, and at Nike they had, yeah, like 410 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,399 Speaker 3: he had to go to the hospital that like a 411 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,199 Speaker 3: priest read his rights and he survived, okay. But he 412 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,520 Speaker 3: was known as just like just the ultimate and toughness, 413 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,520 Speaker 3: and so he was the coach and he was the 414 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:42,280 Speaker 3: one that really wanted to bring distance running back, and 415 00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:45,239 Speaker 3: so yeah, he was the big guy. And you know, 416 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,680 Speaker 3: as I joined the team and got to know his world, 417 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,320 Speaker 3: I saw the influence in power he had. I remember 418 00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:53,399 Speaker 3: we got in a cab in Europe and the cab 419 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,880 Speaker 3: driver started freaking out because Alberto. 420 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:56,960 Speaker 4: Salzar was in his cab. 421 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,920 Speaker 3: But also at the Nike campus, they have buildings and 422 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,919 Speaker 3: they're all named after iconic athletes, and there was an 423 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,240 Speaker 3: Alberto Sealzar building on the Nike camp. 424 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:05,760 Speaker 4: Oh wow. 425 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,399 Speaker 1: And this is the man who came and picked you 426 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 1: guys up at the airport when you landed to check 427 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,280 Speaker 1: out the Organ Project for the first time. So you're 428 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:13,359 Speaker 1: really like. 429 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,480 Speaker 2: He's already a legend in your mind. You're like, why 430 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,440 Speaker 2: is this icon driving us around? 431 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, he seems so humble and he like really is 432 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,679 Speaker 3: very charismatic, and when he talks to you, he's like 433 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,359 Speaker 3: focused in on you, and you feel like you are 434 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:32,280 Speaker 3: really important. And he had this little world and you 435 00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:34,320 Speaker 3: got to be in it, you know, and you felt 436 00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:38,560 Speaker 3: special and he just had a way of really pulling 437 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 3: you in and feeling like you really really mattered. 438 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,880 Speaker 1: Well, he started calling you family too, right, Yes. 439 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,119 Speaker 3: Yes, I mean it was like the Nike family, the 440 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 3: Organ Project family. I mean that language was used right away. 441 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:50,760 Speaker 2: I mean a lot of people use that language and 442 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,159 Speaker 2: it's healthy and fine, but obviously, knowing what we know 443 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,360 Speaker 2: about him, not so much. 444 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,879 Speaker 1: Trust me is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. 445 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,720 Speaker 2: Most of you listening right now now are probably multitasking. 446 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:02,040 Speaker 1: Yep. 447 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:05,400 Speaker 2: While you're listening to us talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, 448 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:06,800 Speaker 2: or maybe even grocery shopping. 449 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,240 Speaker 1: But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, 450 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,680 Speaker 1: there's something else you can be doing right now getting 451 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 1: an auto quote from Progressive Insurance. 452 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,080 Speaker 2: It's easy, and you could save money by doing it 453 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:17,240 Speaker 2: right from your phone. 454 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 1: Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly seven 455 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,600 Speaker 1: hundred dollars on average, and auto customers qualify for an 456 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,280 Speaker 1: average of seven discounts. 457 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 2: Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner, 458 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 2: and more. 459 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,919 Speaker 1: So, just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with 460 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,920 Speaker 1: you twenty four to seven, three hundred and sixty five 461 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,680 Speaker 1: days a year, so you're protected no matter what multitask. 462 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,320 Speaker 2: Right now, quote your car insurns at Progressive dot com 463 00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:45,200 Speaker 2: to join the over twenty nine million drivers who trust Progressive. 464 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 2: Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national average twelve month 465 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,359 Speaker 2: savings of six hundred ninety eight dollars by new customer 466 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 2: survey who saved with Progressive between June twenty twenty one 467 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,760 Speaker 2: and May twenty twenty two. Potential savings will vary. Discounts 468 00:20:56,760 --> 00:21:03,280 Speaker 2: not available in all states and situations. So when you joined, 469 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:06,600 Speaker 2: it's you, it's your Adam. Is your husband's name, yes, right, Adam? 470 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:10,560 Speaker 2: You Adam Alberto. And then there's a college runner named Galen. 471 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:12,800 Speaker 2: And were there any other women around? 472 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:13,360 Speaker 4: Uh? 473 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:13,560 Speaker 1: No. 474 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:15,640 Speaker 3: There was a woman who joined for a little bit. 475 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,400 Speaker 3: She came straight from high school, but she has been 476 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,480 Speaker 3: very open that she was struggling with a lot of 477 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:23,560 Speaker 3: health issues, and so I would run with her occasionally, 478 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 3: but I mean I was by myself most of the time. 479 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,520 Speaker 3: Then there was another woman, Amy Begley, who joined in 480 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:33,159 Speaker 3: two thousand and seven, but again we had some training 481 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,359 Speaker 3: that was together. She didn't run the marathon though, So 482 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:37,360 Speaker 3: when I moved to the marathon again, I was alone. 483 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,040 Speaker 2: And so for those first three years, you're living in 484 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,479 Speaker 2: this like boys club. 485 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,480 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, I was like traveling with the boys. 486 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,919 Speaker 3: I was living in condos with the boys, and I 487 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 3: had never experienced that. You know, I was like from 488 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:55,160 Speaker 3: a family of all girls, and I'm not like super 489 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 3: proud of how I acted, because I acted differently than 490 00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:59,720 Speaker 3: who I really am to fit in. Like, I laughed 491 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,560 Speaker 3: off a lot of stuff. I told my own dirty jokes. 492 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,119 Speaker 3: I yeah, I just wanted to fit in. I was like, 493 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,000 Speaker 3: this is a huge opportunity. I want to fit in. 494 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,439 Speaker 3: I don't want to be the one that that spoils it. 495 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:10,000 Speaker 4: Totally. 496 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,480 Speaker 2: I mean I have done that so many times. I 497 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:14,880 Speaker 2: can't even tell you. It's hard not to. It's hard 498 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:16,280 Speaker 2: not to when you're the only one in the room 499 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:19,600 Speaker 2: who can speak for that group, you know, yeah. 500 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:20,280 Speaker 4: Totally, you just have to laugh. 501 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 3: Like I laughed so many things off. And also that 502 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:25,080 Speaker 3: just made it go by quicker, right, Like it's easier 503 00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:26,919 Speaker 3: to just laugh and be like, oh, yeah, that's so, 504 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,320 Speaker 3: that's so true than to be like, actually. 505 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 4: That's really offensive, and then it becomes a huge thing. 506 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, which I did start doing, and my I got 507 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,199 Speaker 2: so much shit for it, and then I thought, it's 508 00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:40,000 Speaker 2: really annoying. So but that's okay. We can be annoying. So, 509 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,320 Speaker 2: you know, I feel like, as a non sports person, 510 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:46,440 Speaker 2: my impression of coaches and being an a list athlete 511 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 2: or whatever just for movies are there's some coach who's 512 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,040 Speaker 2: going to push you so hard and he's going to 513 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:53,919 Speaker 2: push you to your limits and you're gonna hate him, 514 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:57,240 Speaker 2: but it's gonna work. And I feel like the way 515 00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,639 Speaker 2: that Alberto kind of seemed at first is sort of 516 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,480 Speaker 2: that stereotype where he's like he's got these unconventional methods, 517 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,880 Speaker 2: he's pressuring everyone a lot, but it works, he gets results. 518 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:09,359 Speaker 2: Can you talk about how it seemed to be effective 519 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:09,919 Speaker 2: at first? 520 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean people were running well, and myself included, 521 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,120 Speaker 3: so it was like, you know, there were some things 522 00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:18,640 Speaker 3: that I thought were unusual, but I mean, nobody's perfect 523 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 3: and everyone's crushing it. And Adam's running fast and I'm 524 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:25,200 Speaker 3: getting healthy and running fast, and Galen's running really well, 525 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,880 Speaker 3: and you know he's just quirky. I mean, you could 526 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:32,600 Speaker 3: just excuse everything away. And also like he filled this 527 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,199 Speaker 3: role of a like a father figure to me. My 528 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:38,640 Speaker 3: father had died a week before my fourth birthday, and 529 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,439 Speaker 3: he would use the language of like I love you, 530 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,760 Speaker 3: like he would email me kara da da da da, 531 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,040 Speaker 3: I want you to do this, love you, see you tomorrow, 532 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:51,960 Speaker 3: and so that language became really normalized, which looking back, 533 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 3: I've had a lot of coaches and I wouldn't be like, 534 00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:57,200 Speaker 3: I love you, but that's how we talk to each other. 535 00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 3: So looking back, that was weird. But yeah, like everyone 536 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:02,879 Speaker 3: was running well. I felt like I was so lucky 537 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,760 Speaker 3: to be there. I felt like I had this incredible, 538 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:09,640 Speaker 3: you know, mentor and father figure from Alberto, and anything 539 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,200 Speaker 3: that seemed awkward or that made me a little uncomfortable, 540 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:13,880 Speaker 3: I just kind of like skirted away because I didn't 541 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,840 Speaker 3: want to lose what I had been there. 542 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 1: Right, I was just going to say, one of the 543 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,160 Speaker 1: things that you guys got was a lot of massages, 544 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:23,200 Speaker 1: and Alberto would actually jump in and give them sometimes, 545 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,440 Speaker 1: which it also just seems like, oh my god, he's 546 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,679 Speaker 1: so helpful. Of course, this turns weird later, but in 547 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 1: the beginning, it's like, wow, what a great guy. 548 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know, it was weird. I will say, 549 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,199 Speaker 3: like my husband and I were like, that's weird. I 550 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,639 Speaker 3: mean he would just people just lay down on the 551 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:42,680 Speaker 3: floor of the table. He'd take their shorts just. 552 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,440 Speaker 4: Tuck them up. I mean you could see. 553 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:47,240 Speaker 3: The butts were exposed, and he would just work on people. 554 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,520 Speaker 3: And you know, at first we were like, oh, that's 555 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:55,879 Speaker 3: a little bit weird. But nobody else said it was weird, and. 556 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,600 Speaker 4: And then it was exactly that. 557 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,800 Speaker 3: I was like, he cares so much, he's even willing 558 00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,480 Speaker 3: to like get in and do the dirty work and 559 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,479 Speaker 3: give us theages, and and that way when we travel 560 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,600 Speaker 3: if the massage therapists can't be there like we have 561 00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:08,400 Speaker 3: Alberto and so things that looking back, I cringe at 562 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,240 Speaker 3: it just it they became normalized, and. 563 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,560 Speaker 2: I could see how it would seem normalized as well 564 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:14,879 Speaker 2: when he's doing it to the men. It's not like 565 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:16,840 Speaker 2: he's only trying to massage you. This is just how 566 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:17,760 Speaker 2: he was with everyone. 567 00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:20,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, right, It wasn't like he just yanked my shorts 568 00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:21,919 Speaker 3: up right like I saw the boys butts too. And 569 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,960 Speaker 3: so that was another part of like, well why am 570 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,160 Speaker 3: I freaking out? Like no one else is freaking out. 571 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:28,239 Speaker 3: So I don't want to be that person that's like 572 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:30,560 Speaker 3: can we do it somewhere else? Or can you put 573 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,760 Speaker 3: a sheet over me? Like it just everyone else seems fine. 574 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:34,919 Speaker 3: So I don't want to be that person. 575 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:38,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems like a big thought stopper that he 576 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,880 Speaker 1: had over all of you. Was like he's just old fashioned, 577 00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:43,600 Speaker 1: you know, like that would kind of stop the critical 578 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,240 Speaker 1: thinking a lot. It seems like like he had this. Yeah. 579 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, he was a hardcore athlete. 580 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,760 Speaker 3: He understands. He's just old fashioned, you know. The height 581 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,760 Speaker 3: of his career was in the eighties. Things were different 582 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:57,159 Speaker 3: than but like it's working and we all get along 583 00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,520 Speaker 3: and we're all in this family together, and yeah, just 584 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,360 Speaker 3: anything that seemed weird. And I think I grew up 585 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,240 Speaker 3: being really good at this. Like my dad died when 586 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,840 Speaker 3: I was really young, and it definitely was a source 587 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:11,560 Speaker 3: of pain for me, but I would just like put 588 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,199 Speaker 3: it in a box and put it away. It was 589 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,359 Speaker 3: like I don't want to feel that, and I would 590 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:16,320 Speaker 3: just like laugh it off. 591 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:17,400 Speaker 4: Or like people would say. 592 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,720 Speaker 3: I'm so sorry that your dad died, and I'd be like, well, 593 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:21,760 Speaker 3: you didn't do it, you know, like stupid stuff to 594 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,200 Speaker 3: just not have to feel it. Yeah, And I think 595 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:27,359 Speaker 3: as athletes we do that too, Like you learn to 596 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 3: put aside pain because you have to just accept it. 597 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:31,040 Speaker 4: You have to be in the moment. 598 00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:35,800 Speaker 3: You put aside any emotion because you're like, it can't 599 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,919 Speaker 3: affect what the overall goal is. And I think that 600 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,080 Speaker 3: I was pretty good at that as a person from 601 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,960 Speaker 3: a young age. And so anything that seemed like a 602 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:45,919 Speaker 3: little weird or a little uncomfortable. I would just like 603 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:47,720 Speaker 3: put it in the box and shove it aside, like 604 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,200 Speaker 3: I can't I can't feel that, I can't worry about that. 605 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:53,040 Speaker 4: I'm here to do something. I'm here to do big things. 606 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,360 Speaker 2: I would love to hear this story about the aspirin 607 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,920 Speaker 2: and your leg and these like sort of medical overstepping 608 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:01,200 Speaker 2: moments that he did. 609 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, that was pretty early on. I had only been 610 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:05,880 Speaker 3: there for a few months and I started to get 611 00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,679 Speaker 3: really really bad shin pain, and it was it was 612 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:10,520 Speaker 3: really affecting me. 613 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,600 Speaker 4: I couldn't run. We thought I had a stress fracture. 614 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,680 Speaker 3: And one day Alberto said, hey, you know, like in 615 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,240 Speaker 3: horse racing they use DMSO and what it does is 616 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:23,399 Speaker 3: it helps you absorb medication or whatever into your body. 617 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:24,920 Speaker 4: They use it in a horse racing all the time. 618 00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:25,920 Speaker 4: It's totally safe. 619 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,800 Speaker 3: And so since your leg is hurting like it just 620 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,560 Speaker 3: needs the inflammation needs to go down, So maybe we 621 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,639 Speaker 3: could just crush up aspirin into a powder, put it 622 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,920 Speaker 3: on your leg, put the DMSO on which will help 623 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,439 Speaker 3: absorb it, and then we'll wrap your leg and saran 624 00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,479 Speaker 3: wrap and leave it for a day or so. And 625 00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:43,000 Speaker 3: I was like, okay, I mean, like why not. You're 626 00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,359 Speaker 3: you're Albert Alberto Salazar and you think this is a 627 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,399 Speaker 3: good idea. And so he crushed it and put it on, 628 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,280 Speaker 3: put the dmso on, and then wrapped the saran wrap 629 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:54,840 Speaker 3: around it, and it immediately started burning, like it. 630 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:55,600 Speaker 4: Was burning so bad. 631 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,760 Speaker 3: But remember I'd only been there for a few months 632 00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,280 Speaker 3: and he was paying attention to me. 633 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:01,520 Speaker 1: Thank you, I love it. 634 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:04,600 Speaker 3: It must be working yet, yes, And I said like, 635 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,640 Speaker 3: it's kind of burning, you know, and he was like, well, 636 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,120 Speaker 3: that means it's working, you know, it's getting in there. Yeah, 637 00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:11,240 Speaker 3: And then it was hurting more and more, and he 638 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:13,040 Speaker 3: was like, just leave it on overnight. And when I 639 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:16,160 Speaker 3: got home, Adam was like, oh my god, take that off. 640 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:18,320 Speaker 3: Like he cut it off and I had blisters all 641 00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,800 Speaker 3: over my shin. So that was one of my first 642 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:24,359 Speaker 3: experiences of We jokingly called him doctor Salazar because he 643 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,639 Speaker 3: had like a solution for everything, Like he was like, well, 644 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:29,520 Speaker 3: I can fix that, even though you know, like that 645 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,840 Speaker 3: was a bad idea for you know, that took a 646 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:33,400 Speaker 3: really really long time to heal. 647 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:36,199 Speaker 2: Like some of his ideas worked, right, some of his 648 00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 2: ideas were helpful, so I can imagine it would be 649 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:43,240 Speaker 2: very difficult to navigate when something makes you uncomfortable, because 650 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:47,560 Speaker 2: sometimes maybe that would have been the right thing to do, right, Yeah, 651 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,680 Speaker 2: I yeah, yeah. 652 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 3: A lot of the things he suggested were weird but 653 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,800 Speaker 3: ended up becoming normal practice, like using the anti gravity treadmill. 654 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,760 Speaker 3: I remember he would cut holes in my husband's and 655 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:03,600 Speaker 3: gay singlets, really hot meats. Now they make Olympic uniforms 656 00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:05,400 Speaker 3: with holes in the uniforms. So a lot of the 657 00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:09,920 Speaker 3: things he did became commonplace, and a lot of them didn't. 658 00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:11,640 Speaker 4: But it was like, why would you question it? 659 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:15,160 Speaker 3: Like he's always thinking, he's always tinkering because he cares 660 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,520 Speaker 3: so much, because he wants us to be the best, right, 661 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:19,040 Speaker 3: So you just went along with it. 662 00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 2: The Mad Scientist is a good reference. I feel like 663 00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:25,040 Speaker 2: that is totally what he seems like in the book. Yes, 664 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,120 Speaker 2: total try this, just like messing with your bodies at 665 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:29,400 Speaker 2: his whim. 666 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,800 Speaker 1: What other doctors were involved in the organ project? And 667 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,480 Speaker 1: how did you bring is it doctor Brown? And how 668 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:36,920 Speaker 1: did you bring doctor Brown on board? 669 00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:39,000 Speaker 3: So we did have a couple of other doctors, one 670 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:41,600 Speaker 3: who would operate on us when we were injured, another 671 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,640 Speaker 3: one who we'd go to when we were sick. They 672 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:48,120 Speaker 3: have both since passed away, But when my husband and I, 673 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,560 Speaker 3: we were still living in Colorado before we went to 674 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,880 Speaker 3: the Organ Project, and my husband started having some really 675 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:57,040 Speaker 3: bad fatigues and symptoms, and his doctors suggested he see 676 00:29:57,080 --> 00:30:00,320 Speaker 3: an innercinologist, and our coach at the time had heard 677 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,200 Speaker 3: from a very reliable source through USA Track and Field. 678 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,800 Speaker 3: But there was this doctor named doctor Jeffrey Brown, who 679 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:09,200 Speaker 3: is the best undercrinologist for athletes in the country. So 680 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:13,040 Speaker 3: Adam went and saw doctor Jeffrey Brown, and doctor Brown 681 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:16,440 Speaker 3: diagnosed him with hypothyroidism, which seemed a little weird, but 682 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,200 Speaker 3: it technically runs in family, or it often runs in families, 683 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,239 Speaker 3: and his mom had it, so we didn't question it 684 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:21,640 Speaker 3: at all. 685 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:24,680 Speaker 4: Then about a year later I. 686 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:27,280 Speaker 3: Saw him and he gave me the same diagnosis, and 687 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,560 Speaker 3: again my mom and my grandma have that, so I 688 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:32,719 Speaker 3: was like, oh, it makes total sense. So anyway, we 689 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:37,120 Speaker 3: saw him before we ever met Alberto and again recommended 690 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:40,680 Speaker 3: by someone from our governing body, but so we when 691 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:42,880 Speaker 3: we got to the Organ Project, Alberta wanted to know 692 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:45,560 Speaker 3: any doctors we saw, any medications we were on, and 693 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,720 Speaker 3: we told him about doctor Brown, and Alberta went and 694 00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:51,520 Speaker 3: saw doctor Brown and came back and said, Hey, I 695 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,720 Speaker 3: have hypothyroidism too, And I mean I was a little 696 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:58,320 Speaker 3: bit like, Wow, that's a lot crazy going on. 697 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,440 Speaker 4: What are the odds? That's awesome? 698 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:05,640 Speaker 3: And then Galen went and it turned out Galen had 699 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,400 Speaker 3: it too. And then doctor Brown eventually became part of 700 00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:10,960 Speaker 3: our team staff and would travel to competitions with us, 701 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:15,280 Speaker 3: and like everyone on the team, of coincidences, of all coincidences, 702 00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,120 Speaker 3: everyone on the team had hypothyroidism. 703 00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:18,680 Speaker 2: That is so crazy. 704 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,440 Speaker 1: I mean, what is the medicine do you think? Do 705 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:22,800 Speaker 1: you think it's helping since. 706 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:23,800 Speaker 2: They're an athletic benefit. 707 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:29,320 Speaker 1: I mean, I do have hyperthyroidismism, doctor, and my mom 708 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,520 Speaker 1: and grandfather also have it. My doctor's not doctor Brown, 709 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,200 Speaker 1: so I know it's common, but I mean a whole 710 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:38,000 Speaker 1: team probably doesn't have it. So what is the like 711 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:39,320 Speaker 1: benefit of this? 712 00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:42,480 Speaker 3: So I have a different doctor now, of course, And 713 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:44,760 Speaker 3: I've talked to her about this a lot, and she says, like, 714 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 3: the basic synthroid or lavoxyl is probably just no like 715 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:52,000 Speaker 3: because if you take too much it actually affects you negatively, right, 716 00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:55,560 Speaker 3: But there are other medications that can go along with it, 717 00:31:56,080 --> 00:32:01,040 Speaker 3: cidea mel certain like T three, taking other additional hormones 718 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:04,480 Speaker 3: that really potentially could help performance, and those were prescribed 719 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,440 Speaker 3: to some of my teammates and in fact my coach 720 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:08,440 Speaker 3: at one point later on, much later my career, asked 721 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:11,800 Speaker 3: me to take that I would help you lean out 722 00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:14,520 Speaker 3: and feel feel better potentially. So yeah, you can ask 723 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:14,960 Speaker 3: your doctor. 724 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to shift from synthride to one of 725 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,280 Speaker 1: those so I can speed walk a little bit faster 726 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:24,200 Speaker 1: sometimes walk. No, I don't move. 727 00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:28,240 Speaker 2: How many steps for on your phone? Me? O? 728 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:31,120 Speaker 1: No, I took ninety seven steps yesterday. 729 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:32,760 Speaker 4: Oh that's so sad. 730 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:33,240 Speaker 2: I know. 731 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:36,240 Speaker 4: You need to move a little bit. 732 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:38,080 Speaker 1: I know, I know, I know that was rare. That 733 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:38,440 Speaker 1: was rair. 734 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:38,920 Speaker 4: That was fair. 735 00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:39,600 Speaker 1: It was a sun day. 736 00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:41,360 Speaker 4: Okay, listen, that's actually fair. 737 00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:46,440 Speaker 2: And then also this other guy got involved with the team. 738 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:48,440 Speaker 2: Can you talk to us about Darren Treasure. 739 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:49,240 Speaker 4: Yeah. 740 00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,800 Speaker 3: So I had always sort of battled race anxiety even 741 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,600 Speaker 3: when I was younger, and I had seen a sports 742 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,280 Speaker 3: psychologist when I graduated from college for a while, and 743 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:00,480 Speaker 3: when we first moved to the organ project, there was a. 744 00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 4: Sports psychologist that we would see every once in a 745 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:06,440 Speaker 4: while down in Eugene. We were in Portland, and. 746 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:10,520 Speaker 3: He was an actual psychologist. But in two thousand and 747 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,720 Speaker 3: seven we brought in this new guy and his name 748 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:15,920 Speaker 3: was Darren Treasure, and he was introduced to me as 749 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:20,080 Speaker 3: doctor Darren Treasure, sports psychologist, and you had to see him. 750 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:23,520 Speaker 3: It was a part of the team, and he was unconventional. 751 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,520 Speaker 3: Like the way he talked to me was really unconventional. 752 00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:27,680 Speaker 3: But at the same time I was running better and better, 753 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,120 Speaker 3: and so again you had to see him anyway. So, 754 00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:33,440 Speaker 3: like with anything, I'm usually all in, especially if it's 755 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:33,960 Speaker 3: leading me. 756 00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,000 Speaker 4: Towards a goal, a fast forward. 757 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,600 Speaker 3: Many many, many many years, I now know that Jaren 758 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:43,920 Speaker 3: Treasure has a degree in physiology, which is not psychology, 759 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:50,600 Speaker 3: and times felt, yeah, it's very misrepresented. And you know, 760 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,160 Speaker 3: we would talk to him about our hopes and dreams, 761 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:56,200 Speaker 3: things that were bothering us. And typically that is a 762 00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:00,600 Speaker 3: patient that's confidential. It's confidential conversation. It can't go anywhere. 763 00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:02,800 Speaker 3: But I would start to some of the things I 764 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,440 Speaker 3: would tell Darren in like a space that I think 765 00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:08,000 Speaker 3: is safe being open about things that are troubling me 766 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:09,680 Speaker 3: would come back to me through. 767 00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:11,879 Speaker 4: Alberto and also he started to. 768 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:16,040 Speaker 3: Tell me things about teammates, very very personal things about teammates, 769 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,480 Speaker 3: and so so inappropriate. I can't I know it was 770 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:22,799 Speaker 3: so inappropriate, but again I just was like, well, he 771 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,480 Speaker 3: trusts me. I mean I was, so I just want 772 00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:28,600 Speaker 3: to like go shake myself back. Then I definitely started 773 00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,280 Speaker 3: to limit some of the things that I would say 774 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,880 Speaker 3: because I didn't want those to come back or anyone 775 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,319 Speaker 3: else to hear it. But when he would tell me things, 776 00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,960 Speaker 3: I'd be like, oh, well, Darren trust me. And in fact, 777 00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:41,640 Speaker 3: Darren at one point was elevated to performance directors, so 778 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,680 Speaker 3: he would actually be helping decide who was on the 779 00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:44,480 Speaker 3: team and who was. 780 00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,080 Speaker 1: It and he's hearing your secrets at the same time. 781 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,600 Speaker 2: Yes, so you can't tell him anything that will affect 782 00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:50,200 Speaker 2: your position. 783 00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:50,880 Speaker 1: I can't. 784 00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:54,160 Speaker 3: So I actually asked for a meeting with him, and 785 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:56,120 Speaker 3: I remember we met and I said, this is a 786 00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:59,560 Speaker 3: conflict of interest, Like you hear our deepest, darkest concerns 787 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:01,919 Speaker 3: and then you're also selecting. He said, you know, you're 788 00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:04,840 Speaker 3: a big girl, and I would never let that affect anything. 789 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,759 Speaker 3: And right, you know, just like steamrolled through, Like my 790 00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:09,000 Speaker 3: concern was silly. 791 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:12,800 Speaker 2: The amount of times that the phrase big girl happens 792 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,040 Speaker 2: in the book that he said is so disgusting and 793 00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:19,719 Speaker 2: makes me cringe so hard. Yeah, yeah, you're a big girl. 794 00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:21,600 Speaker 2: What do you shut the fuck up? 795 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:22,680 Speaker 1: Right? 796 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:24,640 Speaker 2: And how old were you at this time? 797 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,200 Speaker 4: What was in my thirties? Okay, you know, so I 798 00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:27,760 Speaker 4: was a woman. 799 00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:31,279 Speaker 2: Yeah, but he's the he's this authoritative figure over you, 800 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:32,040 Speaker 2: right regardless. 801 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:33,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I guess when I first met him, 802 00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:35,279 Speaker 3: I was still in my late I was in my 803 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,960 Speaker 3: late twenties when I met him, because I met him 804 00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:39,960 Speaker 3: in oh seven, so I was probably twenty eight when 805 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,400 Speaker 3: I first met him, but I was I was a woman. 806 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,920 Speaker 3: But he had a you know, he was Alberto's right 807 00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:48,320 Speaker 3: hand man. In fact, it eventually it became that you 808 00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:50,920 Speaker 3: would go to the starting line and Alberta would be there, 809 00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:52,240 Speaker 3: but Darren would be the last. 810 00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:52,799 Speaker 4: One to talk to you. 811 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:54,839 Speaker 3: Darren would be the last one to speak to you 812 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:56,360 Speaker 3: before you went to the starting line. 813 00:35:56,440 --> 00:36:00,080 Speaker 1: And that's a big deal because that's yeah, that's because. 814 00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:03,160 Speaker 2: You couldn't talk to your family before no race, right. 815 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:06,239 Speaker 3: No, No, they thought that was a huge distraction. I 816 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:09,520 Speaker 3: remember I was running the Boston Marathon one year. I 817 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:12,120 Speaker 3: was very like nervous. I was the favorite twin. 818 00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:13,920 Speaker 4: I was nervous. My whole family was there. 819 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,600 Speaker 3: I mean my entire family, both of my sisters, my 820 00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,880 Speaker 3: mom and everything, and you know, I was allowed a 821 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,560 Speaker 3: thirty minute time with them in the hotel, and I 822 00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:24,840 Speaker 3: remember the thirty minutes was up and getting a text 823 00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:26,239 Speaker 3: like you need to go back to your room, and 824 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,080 Speaker 3: I felt like I was gonna cry, Like I just 825 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,640 Speaker 3: wanted to hang out with them because like my family 826 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:33,160 Speaker 3: wanted me to do well, but they loved me no 827 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:35,480 Speaker 3: matter what. So I liked being around them because it 828 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:38,839 Speaker 3: made me feel like, you know, normal. And in fact, 829 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:40,879 Speaker 3: one year for the Olympic trials, I had to turn 830 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:42,880 Speaker 3: like turn my phone off and leave it in Portland 831 00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,800 Speaker 3: and I got a burner phone so that I wouldn't 832 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,080 Speaker 3: talk to anyone but the people in our circle. 833 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:50,040 Speaker 2: This is all Alberto directed, right, He's the way He's. 834 00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:53,239 Speaker 1: Like, it's so culty isolating you from your family. It's 835 00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,680 Speaker 1: just textbook. Can you tell us about the text you 836 00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:58,480 Speaker 1: got on the burner phone from the reporter from the 837 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:00,359 Speaker 1: Organ Times or something like that. 838 00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:02,799 Speaker 3: Yeah, So in two thousand and eight, we all had 839 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,200 Speaker 3: to leave our phone, our cell phones in Portland. 840 00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:06,960 Speaker 4: The Olympic trials are down in Eugene. 841 00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,279 Speaker 3: We got our burner phones and I got a text 842 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,480 Speaker 3: message from a number I didn't know because the only 843 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:15,680 Speaker 3: numbers plugged in there were organ project people, and it 844 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:19,520 Speaker 3: said this is can Go from the Oregonian, like, can 845 00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,080 Speaker 3: you give me a few minutes? I'd love to talk 846 00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:22,880 Speaker 3: to you. And I texted back, I'm sorry, I'm not 847 00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:25,480 Speaker 3: doing any more interviews until after the competition is over. 848 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,280 Speaker 3: And then I got a text back saying, this is Alberto, 849 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:29,800 Speaker 3: good job you passed the test. 850 00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:34,440 Speaker 2: Psycho Cicho psychotic psycho. 851 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:35,280 Speaker 4: Yes, psycho. 852 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,760 Speaker 3: At the time, you know, it's just so crazy looking 853 00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,120 Speaker 3: back as all these things are. You know, I was like, 854 00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,600 Speaker 3: look how dedicated we are, Like we can't even be reached. 855 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:46,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, well of course, I mean you know better than me. 856 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:48,680 Speaker 2: But was that not like sort of the part of 857 00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:52,839 Speaker 2: the ethos of athleticism in general, like commit as hard 858 00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,200 Speaker 2: as you can and oh, control and control and control. 859 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like that's as an athlete, and especially as a 860 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,040 Speaker 3: professional athlete. It it's like, what do you If you 861 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,280 Speaker 3: really want that goal, it has to be your everything. 862 00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,480 Speaker 3: And that's how we lived. You know, we didn't see 863 00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:08,719 Speaker 3: our families very much. We never traveled unless it was 864 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:11,960 Speaker 3: for competitions. We were so in this world and I 865 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,600 Speaker 3: do think as an athlete you have to fully commit, 866 00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:16,640 Speaker 3: but there were they there were definitely things looking back 867 00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:18,719 Speaker 3: that was taking it way too far. But yeah, as 868 00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:21,080 Speaker 3: an athlete, you're like, I'm hardcore, I'm in all the way, 869 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:22,799 Speaker 3: I'm totally committed to this, right. 870 00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:24,840 Speaker 1: Can I just tell you guys something really quickly? This 871 00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:27,080 Speaker 1: is so quick, but this was like a just the thing. 872 00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:28,719 Speaker 1: I was on TikTok the other day and it's like 873 00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:32,120 Speaker 1: you get in the car after playing airbot and it's 874 00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:35,239 Speaker 1: a dad and he's like he was really good, and 875 00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:39,640 Speaker 1: the dad's like he's a dog. Anyway, Okay, you're on 876 00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:40,040 Speaker 1: the team. 877 00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:43,960 Speaker 5: Getting here appealing to the non sports Yeah, yeah, audience, 878 00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,880 Speaker 5: I want to talk about all the different ways in 879 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:54,680 Speaker 5: which he started to like gradually overstep and overstep and 880 00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:55,680 Speaker 5: control and control. 881 00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:57,799 Speaker 2: What were some of the things that looking back, you're like, 882 00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,480 Speaker 2: that was when a line was crossed? That was when 883 00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:01,280 Speaker 2: a line was crossed? 884 00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:03,440 Speaker 3: Well, definitely those things that we just talked about, like 885 00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:05,719 Speaker 3: not being able to have my own phone to call 886 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,759 Speaker 3: who I want to call at the biggest competition of 887 00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:11,319 Speaker 3: my life at that point, or not being able to 888 00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:12,800 Speaker 3: see my family. 889 00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,200 Speaker 4: Who traveled all this way to support me. 890 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:18,319 Speaker 3: But you know, it was very us against them mentality, 891 00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:21,839 Speaker 3: Like we didn't stay at the meat hotel, we'd stay 892 00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:25,719 Speaker 3: somewhere else. We would travel in these small groups and 893 00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,000 Speaker 3: we would all live in the same condo. 894 00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,600 Speaker 4: There was just so many things and. 895 00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:34,680 Speaker 3: Like like you had to believe in him, you couldn't 896 00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:38,560 Speaker 3: question anything. And that's where his relationship with Adam started 897 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,160 Speaker 3: to fizzle, because Adam would start to question things, and 898 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,560 Speaker 3: that was like, you could not do that. You know, 899 00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:45,279 Speaker 3: you had to be all in. You could not question 900 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:49,160 Speaker 3: a single thing. A lot of just isolation, isolation from 901 00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:52,120 Speaker 3: other athletes, from the people in your lives. 902 00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:54,560 Speaker 4: And then of course I started. 903 00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:57,840 Speaker 3: To see things that were weird from like a doping perspective, 904 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,960 Speaker 3: like he had to sascerone gel just out in narcondo, 905 00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:02,800 Speaker 3: which is totally against the rules. 906 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,000 Speaker 4: It cannot be around. 907 00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:06,600 Speaker 3: Athletes at all because it's so easy then for the 908 00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,360 Speaker 3: athlete to just quick swipe it on and get the 909 00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:12,080 Speaker 3: benefit of it without testing positive. There was a bunch 910 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,920 Speaker 3: of syringes in our refrigerator at a training camp, and 911 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,880 Speaker 3: he told me that they were for allergy shots and 912 00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:21,399 Speaker 3: not to be worried. And at the time, anything, any 913 00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:25,239 Speaker 3: explanation he gave me, I believed it because I trusted him, 914 00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,520 Speaker 3: you know. I mean he for as much as he 915 00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,200 Speaker 3: isolated me for my family, he would call my mom 916 00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:31,960 Speaker 3: and tell her, like I believe I was put into 917 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:35,160 Speaker 3: her life for a reason, and like I really felt 918 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:38,000 Speaker 3: like I was supposed to be there and he was 919 00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:39,120 Speaker 3: supposed to coach me. 920 00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:42,640 Speaker 1: And you guys were all testing negative for drugs, like 921 00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:45,040 Speaker 1: you know, it wasn't like you weren't getting tested for 922 00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:48,040 Speaker 1: illegal drugs. You were, and you weren't showing up positive 923 00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:51,840 Speaker 1: for them. So trusting him seems completely normal, you know. 924 00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:52,520 Speaker 4: Yeah. 925 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,399 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I was getting drug tested at tun during 926 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,680 Speaker 3: that time, especially after I went to Metal at World Championships. 927 00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:59,439 Speaker 3: I would get tested between twenty and twenty four times 928 00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:02,279 Speaker 3: a year, and I was always no, you know, was 929 00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:02,879 Speaker 3: always good. 930 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,440 Speaker 4: So I just wasn't concerned. 931 00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:08,000 Speaker 3: I never had concerns that he might do anything like 932 00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:10,440 Speaker 3: that because I don't know, right, he didn't ask me 933 00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:13,840 Speaker 3: to do anything that was illegal, and my test results 934 00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:16,840 Speaker 3: are always perfect, and yeah, you know, he and he 935 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:19,520 Speaker 3: would even talk about like, you know, we would never 936 00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,719 Speaker 3: go down that route, like we are going to outwork everybody. 937 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:26,360 Speaker 3: And uh, anytime we would hear rumors about other athletes, 938 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,160 Speaker 3: he would like want us to just shut it down, 939 00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:31,520 Speaker 3: don't talk about that. And so you know, I felt like, Oh, 940 00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:32,960 Speaker 3: we represent the good guys. 941 00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:38,720 Speaker 2: The way that he would deal with supplements and gels 942 00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:40,680 Speaker 2: and all the thing that reminds me so much of 943 00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:43,359 Speaker 2: how my brother what my brother is an addict. He's 944 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,359 Speaker 2: a recovering addict, but when he is at the height 945 00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:48,080 Speaker 2: of his addiction, he would find so many cheats. He 946 00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:52,000 Speaker 2: was like a freakin pharmacist, seriously, like he would he 947 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:53,960 Speaker 2: knew how to pass every test, He knew what you 948 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,279 Speaker 2: could combine with, what to make sure that you didn't 949 00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:58,920 Speaker 2: get caught. He knew how to like cover his ass 950 00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:01,719 Speaker 2: in every possible And it sounds like Alberto has that 951 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,040 Speaker 2: same sort of again. It's that mad scientist thing of like, oh, 952 00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:07,440 Speaker 2: how can I enhance performance but get away with it? 953 00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:09,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean you guys should have seen like he 954 00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:12,680 Speaker 3: would have supplements batch tested to make sure there was 955 00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:15,640 Speaker 3: nothing in there that we would test positive for. But 956 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:20,080 Speaker 3: I mean some of my antidoping declaration forms. It's embarrassing, 957 00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:25,200 Speaker 3: like I was taking so many supplements, and instead of 958 00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,399 Speaker 3: just focusing on the fact that I was running well 959 00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:30,000 Speaker 3: and I was getting better day by day, month by month, 960 00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,400 Speaker 3: I was healthy for the first time in years. You know, 961 00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:37,040 Speaker 3: I was taking these fistfuls of supplements multiple times a day, 962 00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:41,520 Speaker 3: and you know that did bother me. I think because 963 00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,320 Speaker 3: I had remembered when I was in college. I qualified 964 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:47,000 Speaker 3: for the Olympic trials and I made the final and 965 00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:49,279 Speaker 3: I was drug tested afterwards, and on my form I 966 00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:52,600 Speaker 3: put nothing because I wasn't taking anything. And I remember 967 00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:55,880 Speaker 3: looking over at another US athlete and she had so 968 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:57,960 Speaker 3: many things she had to ask for a second page, 969 00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:01,560 Speaker 3: and she ended up later testing positive and getting busted. 970 00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:05,040 Speaker 3: And so I remember feeling icky about that, like, oh, 971 00:43:05,239 --> 00:43:08,440 Speaker 3: I'm I have all of these things to declare. I 972 00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:10,560 Speaker 3: was confident that I wasn't going to test positive for anything, 973 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:12,680 Speaker 3: but it still felt icky, like why do Why am 974 00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:15,880 Speaker 3: I taking all of this stuff like fat flushing stuff 975 00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:19,400 Speaker 3: and recovery this, And it just felt icky like I 976 00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,640 Speaker 3: had kind of lost my way from back when I 977 00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:22,520 Speaker 3: was younger. 978 00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,799 Speaker 1: Well, you're doing it because you, I mean, you have 979 00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:26,640 Speaker 1: to win in order to make a living, and you 980 00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:29,480 Speaker 1: only have this certain amount of time to do it. 981 00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:32,120 Speaker 1: And also he would kind of get in your head 982 00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:35,879 Speaker 1: and tell you like you've gained weight, or you run 983 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,960 Speaker 1: so much quicker when you're smaller. Can you tell us 984 00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,400 Speaker 1: a little bit about the body comments, and like weighing 985 00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:42,920 Speaker 1: you guys publicly and stuff. 986 00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:44,920 Speaker 4: He was obsessed with weight, absolutely obsessed. 987 00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:47,520 Speaker 3: But the funny thing is like we're supposedly this the 988 00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:50,279 Speaker 3: best team in the world, with the most supplies and 989 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:53,399 Speaker 3: you know, like the most comprehensive program in the world. 990 00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,920 Speaker 3: We didn't have a single nutritionist or person reading our 991 00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:58,920 Speaker 3: body composition. It was literally based on what Alberto saw 992 00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:01,080 Speaker 3: when he looked at you wo and he would be like, 993 00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:03,879 Speaker 3: you need to lose five pounds without like, without even 994 00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:05,520 Speaker 3: stepping on a skill. It's just like, you need to 995 00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:08,560 Speaker 3: lose five pounds. And we would get weighed in at 996 00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:10,279 Speaker 3: the Nike lab, and then there were times where he 997 00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:12,360 Speaker 3: would weigh us like out at the track, like a 998 00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:14,839 Speaker 3: like a random way in and it got so much 999 00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,279 Speaker 3: where I started weighing myself all the time because I 1000 00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:19,959 Speaker 3: didn't want to be caught off guard, you know, when 1001 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:22,239 Speaker 3: if there was a surprise way in and I was 1002 00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:23,000 Speaker 3: like a little heavy. 1003 00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:24,560 Speaker 4: I wanted to be sure that I knew what the 1004 00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:25,480 Speaker 4: number was going to be. 1005 00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:27,839 Speaker 3: I had a teammate and he would literally tell her 1006 00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:29,319 Speaker 3: one day she was fat and tell her the next 1007 00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,359 Speaker 3: day she looked great. I mean, you can't, oh my god, 1008 00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:33,319 Speaker 3: that's actually physically impossible to. 1009 00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:33,880 Speaker 4: Lose weight like that. 1010 00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:36,400 Speaker 3: But he he based it strictly on the way that 1011 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:39,160 Speaker 3: you looked, and then he would pull some arbitrary number 1012 00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:40,160 Speaker 3: that he thought you should weigh. 1013 00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:43,279 Speaker 2: You had already dealt with an eating disorder when you 1014 00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:44,160 Speaker 2: were younger. 1015 00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:46,240 Speaker 3: Correct, Yeah, I definitely had an eating user. In college, 1016 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:50,000 Speaker 3: I became obsessed with leanness. And you know, our sport 1017 00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:52,440 Speaker 3: definitely has a problem with eating disorders. I think it's 1018 00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:54,480 Speaker 3: pretty it's modeled at a pretty young age. I first 1019 00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:57,239 Speaker 3: learned about eating disorders and running in high school and 1020 00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,640 Speaker 3: in college. You know, I again, I just I wanted 1021 00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,040 Speaker 3: to win in national championship. I looked around, I saw 1022 00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,480 Speaker 3: what the women were like, what they look like that 1023 00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:06,800 Speaker 3: were winning them, and I went down my own. 1024 00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:08,040 Speaker 4: Rabbit hole and. 1025 00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:10,799 Speaker 3: Got I don't like we are always like oh I 1026 00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,960 Speaker 3: got so lean. I mean I looked terrible and you know, 1027 00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,279 Speaker 3: I had success, I won some national titles, but then 1028 00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:19,000 Speaker 3: I was injured for a long time afterwards, and so 1029 00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:21,680 Speaker 3: I had already like fought those demons, like I had 1030 00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:23,920 Speaker 3: really worked hard to fight those demons. And it definitely 1031 00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:27,560 Speaker 3: brought some of that back, like that fear, that fear. 1032 00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:28,839 Speaker 4: Of what the number was going to be on the scale. 1033 00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:30,440 Speaker 3: I would think about it all the time, and like 1034 00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:32,239 Speaker 3: when we would travel together, I would think about it. 1035 00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:33,759 Speaker 3: When I was eating in front of him, I would 1036 00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:35,600 Speaker 3: think about it, like I'm really hungry, but I don't. 1037 00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:38,560 Speaker 3: I mean, I would like literally be in our bathroom 1038 00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,920 Speaker 3: and eating so that he wouldn't see me eating. 1039 00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:44,080 Speaker 1: Wow, it sounds like with Amy, I think that was 1040 00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:46,839 Speaker 1: your teammate's name. Yeah, who He would be like, you're thin, 1041 00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:48,640 Speaker 1: You're fat, You're thin, you're fat. Every day it's like 1042 00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:51,160 Speaker 1: love bombing then taking it away, then love bombing then 1043 00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:54,440 Speaker 1: taking it away. It's just this narcissistic cycle that is 1044 00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,160 Speaker 1: so strange. And he would always seem to start a 1045 00:45:57,280 --> 00:46:00,560 Speaker 1: fight with you or something before you would race, Like 1046 00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:04,440 Speaker 1: he'd always cause chaos. What was he doing? Did he 1047 00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:07,520 Speaker 1: not want you guys to win? Or like I guess 1048 00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:08,960 Speaker 1: he did but what is he doing? 1049 00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:09,719 Speaker 4: I don't know. 1050 00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,279 Speaker 3: It was always right before a big competition, everything that 1051 00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:14,480 Speaker 3: we had worked on for months and months and months 1052 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:18,080 Speaker 3: and had accomplished, now is the time to race. And 1053 00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:20,680 Speaker 3: he would always panic about something, whether it was like 1054 00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:24,799 Speaker 3: my water bottles like might get cold or the. 1055 00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:27,800 Speaker 2: Water bottle story was your mom made me so sad? 1056 00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:28,719 Speaker 2: It made me so sad? 1057 00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:31,879 Speaker 3: Sorry, go No, It was just always something like that, 1058 00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,479 Speaker 3: like at the in the final hour, making me doth. 1059 00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:36,920 Speaker 3: I would start to doubt what I had done. And 1060 00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:39,319 Speaker 3: that's not how you're supposed to be. Even if your 1061 00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,799 Speaker 3: coach thinks, oh my gosh, we missed this major thing. 1062 00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:43,480 Speaker 3: They don't want to put that in your head. 1063 00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:45,080 Speaker 4: But he would. 1064 00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:47,120 Speaker 3: It seemed like you would always freak out at the 1065 00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:50,440 Speaker 3: last minute about something, and so you know, it just 1066 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:53,120 Speaker 3: would kind of throw me into like a spin. But 1067 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,359 Speaker 3: then of course I would have Darren there to calm 1068 00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:57,640 Speaker 3: me down and to recenter me and refocus me. 1069 00:46:58,080 --> 00:46:59,560 Speaker 2: And was he good at that? 1070 00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:01,839 Speaker 3: No, I mean he would basically just be like, you're 1071 00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:05,439 Speaker 3: Kara fucking Goucher, Act like Kara fucking Goucher, and like, look, 1072 00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:07,719 Speaker 3: I'm like grew up in northern Minnesota. I'm like as 1073 00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:10,560 Speaker 3: Midwest as they come, like I can swear, don't get 1074 00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:13,160 Speaker 3: me wrong, but like that's just not that doesn't really 1075 00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:14,120 Speaker 3: land with me. 1076 00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:20,600 Speaker 4: But I know, but like that's how it was. I'm like, 1077 00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:21,600 Speaker 4: I'm Kara Goucher. 1078 00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:25,040 Speaker 1: Actually, yeah, I want to talk to my family very badly. 1079 00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:30,399 Speaker 1: How did his heart attack and death for a few 1080 00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:34,279 Speaker 1: minutes kind of get him even more deeply? Got it? 1081 00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:39,320 Speaker 2: How much you're smiling describing his heart I love death experiences. 1082 00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:46,520 Speaker 3: You know what, that really tightened the bond because I 1083 00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:49,399 Speaker 3: felt like I almost lost this person who I care 1084 00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:52,560 Speaker 3: about so much. And not only is he back from 1085 00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,839 Speaker 3: the dead, he's so committed to us that he had 1086 00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:57,799 Speaker 3: a heart attack two weeks ago and he's up at 1087 00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:01,359 Speaker 3: altitude against his doctor's wishes. Is because he cares about 1088 00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:05,920 Speaker 3: us so much. And look, I cared about him so much. 1089 00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:09,720 Speaker 3: And that was you know that shortly after his heart attack, 1090 00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:11,480 Speaker 3: I don't know, maybe a month or maybe a month 1091 00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:13,640 Speaker 3: and a half after was the World Championships. And that's 1092 00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:16,280 Speaker 3: where I want to meddle at the World Championships. And again, 1093 00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:19,120 Speaker 3: all of these things are reaffirming to me, like you 1094 00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:22,879 Speaker 3: need him. He was spared to help you like you 1095 00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:25,560 Speaker 3: and also you I would think, like, well, it doesn't 1096 00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:27,719 Speaker 3: even I can work harder than I've ever worked, because 1097 00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:30,000 Speaker 3: what is that compared to dying, What is that compared 1098 00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:30,840 Speaker 3: to losing Alberto? 1099 00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:32,040 Speaker 4: I can take any pain. 1100 00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:34,640 Speaker 3: I can take anything, because losing him would be so 1101 00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:35,320 Speaker 3: much worse. 1102 00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:40,000 Speaker 1: How convenient that that happened to him. It really is unfortunate. 1103 00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:43,240 Speaker 3: It was really scary, you know, it was really really scary, 1104 00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:46,879 Speaker 3: and we were all so scared. And yeah, of course 1105 00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:49,680 Speaker 3: you don't wish that upon anyone, but definitely that was used. 1106 00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:51,239 Speaker 4: To rope us all back in more and more. 1107 00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:53,400 Speaker 2: Of course, I could see how easily that could be 1108 00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,359 Speaker 2: turned into a tool to just control you guys more. 1109 00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:59,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then it has that like almost magical element 1110 00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:01,000 Speaker 1: to it from the dead. 1111 00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:03,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely absolutely. 1112 00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:03,239 Speaker 4: And all. 1113 00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:06,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, his fame rose. He was already so famous in 1114 00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:08,799 Speaker 3: the running world, but like his the the you know, 1115 00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:12,640 Speaker 3: mystique around him, it grew so much after that. It 1116 00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:16,239 Speaker 3: was like he even survived death, you know, and it 1117 00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:19,480 Speaker 3: just made him explode in popularity, like it became. He 1118 00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:22,840 Speaker 3: became even more famous, if that was possible at that time. 1119 00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:25,080 Speaker 2: So there were a couple of people in your life, 1120 00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:31,400 Speaker 2: who would observe you going on trips for races with 1121 00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:35,640 Speaker 2: just him and commenting on it and asking if you 1122 00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:38,239 Speaker 2: felt weird about it? What did you feel when that 1123 00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:38,960 Speaker 2: would be brought. 1124 00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:42,319 Speaker 3: Up, I felt really defensive, like you don't understand, you 1125 00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:44,600 Speaker 3: don't understand how bad we wanted what we do, and 1126 00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:45,560 Speaker 3: he's not like that. 1127 00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:48,880 Speaker 4: He's like a father figure. There was a there was. 1128 00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:51,359 Speaker 3: A meet I was in in Finland where I had 1129 00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,920 Speaker 3: a roommate. My husband didn't go on that trip, and 1130 00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:56,239 Speaker 3: she was like, isn't it just weird though you guys 1131 00:49:56,239 --> 00:49:58,520 Speaker 3: are just it's just the two of you, and he's 1132 00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:01,080 Speaker 3: always watching over you. And I was like, what, No, 1133 00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:03,400 Speaker 3: that's not weird, Like don't make it something it's not. 1134 00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:06,000 Speaker 3: And then in two thousand and nine, my sister and 1135 00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:08,760 Speaker 3: I met briefly at a hotel. She was in Boston 1136 00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:11,759 Speaker 3: for her job and I was in Boston running the 1137 00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,800 Speaker 3: course before I was flying to a meet in Portugal, 1138 00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:16,879 Speaker 3: and she was like, but you're about to go take 1139 00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:17,960 Speaker 3: this overnight flight with him. 1140 00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:19,520 Speaker 4: You're only going to be with him for the next 1141 00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:21,719 Speaker 4: four days, like isn't it awkward? 1142 00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:24,759 Speaker 3: And I remember being like mad at her, like I 1143 00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:28,319 Speaker 3: was like no, And I was really disappointed that she 1144 00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:30,520 Speaker 3: would see it that way, and I was mad at 1145 00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:34,200 Speaker 3: her instead of like she literally predicted a horrible experience, 1146 00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:36,560 Speaker 3: Like she literally predicted what happened a few hours later. 1147 00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:39,160 Speaker 4: But I was so mad at her. 1148 00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:41,760 Speaker 1: Well, you guys were taught people are going to be jealous, 1149 00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:43,360 Speaker 1: or people are going to try to tear us apart. 1150 00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:44,839 Speaker 1: People aren't going to understand by. 1151 00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:47,560 Speaker 3: Alberto, by Alberto, and then it's like covered all that, 1152 00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:50,279 Speaker 3: It's exactly what's happening, right, Like they don't understand us. 1153 00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:52,120 Speaker 3: They don't understand how bad we want it and how 1154 00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:53,520 Speaker 3: much we're willing to commit to it. 1155 00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:57,120 Speaker 2: Right, So, how did I mean? You don't have to 1156 00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:59,120 Speaker 2: go into graphic detail any with things, but I I 1157 00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:02,759 Speaker 2: just he when did the sexual abuse begin? I guess 1158 00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:03,320 Speaker 2: so it was. 1159 00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:05,880 Speaker 3: It was the first trip I ever took, the second 1160 00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:07,319 Speaker 3: trip I ever took with him. I took one to 1161 00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:11,800 Speaker 3: hell Sinki, which was when that teammate or another athlete 1162 00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:13,920 Speaker 3: was raising a lot of concerns and I remember just 1163 00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:17,040 Speaker 3: being so annoyed with her. But and then later that 1164 00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:20,400 Speaker 3: summer we went to Italy together. I was going to 1165 00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:22,000 Speaker 3: run a race and it was just the two of us, 1166 00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:25,759 Speaker 3: and it was very typical, like he would watch you 1167 00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:28,239 Speaker 3: run and then give you a flush. And he was 1168 00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:30,440 Speaker 3: actually staying at a different hotel. There was like a bigger, 1169 00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:33,600 Speaker 3: grander hotel with a party for the coaches and agents, 1170 00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:35,120 Speaker 3: and he was like, let me just give you a 1171 00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:36,920 Speaker 3: quick flush and then i'll see you tomorrow. I was 1172 00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:40,440 Speaker 3: like great, and he would, you know, tuck your shorts 1173 00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,239 Speaker 3: up and then kind of work from you know, your 1174 00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:46,680 Speaker 3: ankle up and smooth everything out basically. But you know, 1175 00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:48,320 Speaker 3: I was lying there and all of a sudden, I 1176 00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:51,239 Speaker 3: was just like, oh that's I remember thinking like, oh, 1177 00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:54,680 Speaker 3: that's getting really close to my vagina, you know, and 1178 00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:57,680 Speaker 3: and then his fingers went in there, and. 1179 00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:59,880 Speaker 4: I was just completely frozen. 1180 00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:03,759 Speaker 3: I could not even like looking back, people will go, oh, well, 1181 00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:05,400 Speaker 3: you were alone with him, and you were in a 1182 00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:07,920 Speaker 3: foreign country and all that stuff is true, but I 1183 00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,120 Speaker 3: couldn't even like think that. 1184 00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:11,240 Speaker 4: He was doing it on purpose. 1185 00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:14,360 Speaker 3: And the really sad thing is like when he left, 1186 00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:17,520 Speaker 3: I was horrified because I had just done a hard 1187 00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,960 Speaker 3: workout and I was like, he didn't wash his hands, 1188 00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:21,759 Speaker 3: and I was like worried about him, which is like 1189 00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:26,279 Speaker 3: so messed up. But that was the first time, but 1190 00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:30,320 Speaker 3: I really compartmentalized it and like, they use this against 1191 00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:32,279 Speaker 3: me in the hearing that I went out the next 1192 00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:33,960 Speaker 3: day and I ran a personal best. 1193 00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:34,360 Speaker 4: Which I did. 1194 00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:37,439 Speaker 3: I just put it aside because if it was true, 1195 00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:40,320 Speaker 3: it would ruin everything that I was working towards. 1196 00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:42,080 Speaker 4: And I actually felt guilty. 1197 00:52:42,719 --> 00:52:44,920 Speaker 3: I was like, he's just a horrible massage therapist, Like 1198 00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:46,760 Speaker 3: I can't even believe I thought he did that on purpose, 1199 00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:47,560 Speaker 3: Like I felt bad. 1200 00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:51,360 Speaker 2: Oh wow, I mean at that point, you had been 1201 00:52:51,880 --> 00:52:53,560 Speaker 2: working with him for how long? 1202 00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:54,680 Speaker 4: For about two years? 1203 00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:58,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, So this man has been like basically priming you 1204 00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:01,640 Speaker 2: to not trust yourself and to only trust him this 1205 00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:04,719 Speaker 2: entire time. You're alone with him all the time. He's 1206 00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:08,200 Speaker 2: your authority figure. He basically has complete power over your life, 1207 00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:12,319 Speaker 2: and he's you're achieving your dreams because of it. At 1208 00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:15,839 Speaker 2: least that's how it seems. So it makes complete sense 1209 00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:18,279 Speaker 2: to me that that happens, and you're like, uh no, 1210 00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:20,919 Speaker 2: that must not be what happened. I can't, I don't, 1211 00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:22,000 Speaker 2: that can't be there. 1212 00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:24,200 Speaker 3: I can't even go there mentally, right, because then it 1213 00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:27,200 Speaker 3: crushes everything that I've been working for and crushes who 1214 00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:29,760 Speaker 3: I think he is, and I think he's this person 1215 00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:31,320 Speaker 3: that was brought into my life for a reason. 1216 00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:33,000 Speaker 4: So that that was the first. 1217 00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:36,600 Speaker 3: Instance like that, and then it just kind of like 1218 00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:39,040 Speaker 3: rolled on from there, right Like there was always locker 1219 00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:41,759 Speaker 3: room talk comments about my body that again I just 1220 00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:43,520 Speaker 3: would like laugh off and join in like. 1221 00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:45,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, I have no boobs, ha ha ha whatever. 1222 00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:48,600 Speaker 3: But you know, after I saw my sister a few 1223 00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:52,000 Speaker 3: years later, before I was heading overseas that flight, he 1224 00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:54,879 Speaker 3: told me a lot of explicit stuff about his sex 1225 00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:56,920 Speaker 3: life with his wife, his sex life in college. And 1226 00:53:56,960 --> 00:54:00,279 Speaker 3: I was shocked because locker room talk is like but 1227 00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,520 Speaker 3: one thing, but like being told stuff about people I 1228 00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:03,880 Speaker 3: knew was very, very different. 1229 00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:08,120 Speaker 2: So you just basically had to put it away and 1230 00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:08,919 Speaker 2: keep going. 1231 00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:12,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was just like, he's drunk. He definitely was 1232 00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:15,120 Speaker 3: a drinker, and when we would fly, he'd take ambient 1233 00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:18,160 Speaker 3: and drink, and you know, he's just he's talking like 1234 00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:21,080 Speaker 3: this because he's drunk, and he doesn't even know what 1235 00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:23,919 Speaker 3: he's saying essentially, And I mean, like I just could 1236 00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:27,120 Speaker 3: excuse anything away. It was so much harder to think 1237 00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:30,560 Speaker 3: of the alternative, which is, this is a wildly inappropriate situation, 1238 00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:33,920 Speaker 3: and this is totally unhealthy in every sense of the word. Right, 1239 00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,279 Speaker 3: Like that just couldn't even I was so close to 1240 00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:38,840 Speaker 3: achieving all the things I had dreamt of that it 1241 00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:42,799 Speaker 3: was just like nobody's perfect. He obviously was drunk. He 1242 00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:44,920 Speaker 3: doesn't talk to me like that when he's sober. He's 1243 00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:46,600 Speaker 3: never told me anything like that when he's sober. 1244 00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:50,040 Speaker 2: It has to be that the cognitive dissonance. I cannot 1245 00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:53,040 Speaker 2: imagine how strong that would be, because you really would be, 1246 00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:56,279 Speaker 2: at least in your mind or in my mind, if 1247 00:54:56,280 --> 00:55:00,520 Speaker 2: I were in that situation, jeopardizing my entire career, dreams, 1248 00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:03,840 Speaker 2: the whole social system around me where I live. 1249 00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:05,800 Speaker 1: My husband's career, yeah, all of it. 1250 00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:07,640 Speaker 2: Yes, everything falls apart. 1251 00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:08,839 Speaker 4: Yeah, everything falls apart. 1252 00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:10,640 Speaker 3: It's not even like we could I could just leave 1253 00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:14,600 Speaker 3: him because or tell someone about it, because he my 1254 00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:16,560 Speaker 3: sponsor pays him to coach me. 1255 00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:18,640 Speaker 4: So who am I going to go to. I'm disposable. 1256 00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:20,839 Speaker 3: There's a million carri gouchers that they could bring in 1257 00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:24,440 Speaker 3: and train, but Nike isn't. They're not going anywhere, so 1258 00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:26,560 Speaker 3: they can flush me away and then I lose everything. 1259 00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:30,200 Speaker 3: I lose, you know, my livelihood, my dreams, my husband's livelihood, 1260 00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:32,600 Speaker 3: So I couldn't even I couldn't even go there. 1261 00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:34,879 Speaker 2: There wasn't really anywhere for you to report to that 1262 00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:37,520 Speaker 2: you even knew how to approach, right. 1263 00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:38,640 Speaker 4: I had no idea. 1264 00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:41,719 Speaker 3: There was nothing safe sport is there now It wasn't then, 1265 00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:44,240 Speaker 3: and honestly, you have to reach out to safe sport. 1266 00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:45,880 Speaker 3: I wouldn't have I don't think I would have been 1267 00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:48,520 Speaker 3: too afraid. In all my years at Nike, I had 1268 00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:52,279 Speaker 3: never met a woman in my where I was right, Like, 1269 00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:56,839 Speaker 3: it was like Alberto sports marketing director John Caprioti is male, 1270 00:55:57,200 --> 00:55:59,000 Speaker 3: but people in control of that are male all the 1271 00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:01,200 Speaker 3: way up the chain to Mark Parker, the CEO, who 1272 00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:03,239 Speaker 3: was a man. So it's like, well, who am I 1273 00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:05,920 Speaker 3: going to like go to? Like I knew Nike had 1274 00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:08,759 Speaker 3: HR I had no idea if I even qualified for that. 1275 00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:11,280 Speaker 3: Like I was a contracted worker. I wasn't an employee. 1276 00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:14,120 Speaker 3: So it's just like anytime I'd think about anything like that, 1277 00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:15,799 Speaker 3: it would be like, wow, it's not worth it. 1278 00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:19,839 Speaker 2: And Alberto was chummy with the people at the top too, right, 1279 00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:20,560 Speaker 2: oh oh. 1280 00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:23,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, he and Phil Knight, the co founder of Nike, 1281 00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:24,600 Speaker 3: who is the president of Nike. 1282 00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:25,920 Speaker 4: I believe they are. 1283 00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:29,000 Speaker 3: I mean, it was Phil Knight's dream to have Alberto 1284 00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:34,600 Speaker 3: have this team succeed. So it's like Phil Knight, who 1285 00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:37,440 Speaker 3: is mister Nike if you've seen that movie, Like he 1286 00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:39,320 Speaker 3: and Alberto are really good friends. 1287 00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:41,880 Speaker 4: He's not gonna believe me. I mean, I'm gonna get 1288 00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:43,480 Speaker 4: flicked away in a heartbeat, you know. 1289 00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:47,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you already knew the like therapist was repeating 1290 00:56:47,719 --> 00:56:48,839 Speaker 1: what you were saying. 1291 00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:50,720 Speaker 4: So yes, and he was supposed to be a safe place. 1292 00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:53,200 Speaker 3: Yeah. So it's like, where am I going to go? 1293 00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:55,439 Speaker 3: There's literally nowhere for me to go. So I either 1294 00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:58,239 Speaker 3: leave and give everything up, or I just, you know, 1295 00:56:58,320 --> 00:57:00,759 Speaker 3: keep reminding myself that no one's perfec I'm lucky to 1296 00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:03,080 Speaker 3: be here and deal with whatever I have to deal with. 1297 00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:04,239 Speaker 2: Can you just tell us. 1298 00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:06,760 Speaker 1: A little bit about the experience of running the Boston 1299 00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:10,799 Speaker 1: Marathon and when you kind of got this inspiration and 1300 00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:12,800 Speaker 1: felt it was kind of from your dad. 1301 00:57:13,120 --> 00:57:14,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, that was actually the New York City Marathon. 1302 00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:15,759 Speaker 1: Sorry, thank you. 1303 00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:18,120 Speaker 4: Yeah. So my dad died when I was so young. 1304 00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:22,360 Speaker 3: I don't really have memories of him, and I you know, 1305 00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:25,120 Speaker 3: that's something I always struggled with, Like I was damaged somehow. 1306 00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:27,480 Speaker 3: But like I always wanted to know my dad more, 1307 00:57:27,640 --> 00:57:29,360 Speaker 3: and as I got older, I got more and more 1308 00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:31,760 Speaker 3: into wanting to learn more about him. But my dad 1309 00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:34,439 Speaker 3: and my running had never overlapped in any way, shape 1310 00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:36,600 Speaker 3: or form. Like he wasn't even a runner, he was 1311 00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:39,560 Speaker 3: a soccer player. And so the first marathon I ran 1312 00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:42,000 Speaker 3: was in New York City, and there was so much 1313 00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:44,320 Speaker 3: media around the fact that he had lived there and 1314 00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:46,440 Speaker 3: he died in New York City and how did I feel? 1315 00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:48,760 Speaker 4: And I really kind of deflected. 1316 00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:50,160 Speaker 3: Everything because I was like, he doesn't have anything to 1317 00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:52,800 Speaker 3: do with this, like it, you know, that has nothing 1318 00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:54,200 Speaker 3: to do with what I'm here to do, which is 1319 00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:56,400 Speaker 3: to run the best marathon I can. And I was, 1320 00:57:56,680 --> 00:57:58,280 Speaker 3: you know, I was in the race and it was 1321 00:57:58,280 --> 00:58:00,560 Speaker 3: around the thirteen mile mark, and I I started to 1322 00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:04,400 Speaker 3: feel really overwhelmed, like I can't do this, like I'm 1323 00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:06,800 Speaker 3: so tired, and I only I'm not even halfway through, 1324 00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:08,760 Speaker 3: and I dropped back a bit in the pack and 1325 00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:11,840 Speaker 3: I was, you know, really struggling, and all of a sudden, 1326 00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:14,920 Speaker 3: I just heard this voice saying, you can do this. 1327 00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:16,920 Speaker 3: You know you can do this, get back in there, 1328 00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:18,760 Speaker 3: you can do it. And I pictured my dad, which 1329 00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:21,200 Speaker 3: was like, I literally had never thought about my dad 1330 00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:24,640 Speaker 3: when I was running before, and I found this strength 1331 00:58:24,680 --> 00:58:26,640 Speaker 3: to sort of like get back into the pack, get 1332 00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:29,840 Speaker 3: myself back into the top three. And it wasn't until later, 1333 00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:31,880 Speaker 3: after talking about it at the press conference that I 1334 00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:34,040 Speaker 3: found out that when I heard his voice, it was 1335 00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:37,800 Speaker 3: within blocks of where he had died. And I'm like, 1336 00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:40,280 Speaker 3: I'm getting goosebumps again. I don't, like, that's the only 1337 00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:43,320 Speaker 3: time I've ever had in experience like that. And I 1338 00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:45,720 Speaker 3: don't know if it was him or my subconscious, but 1339 00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:48,160 Speaker 3: I think it was him and I think that he 1340 00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:49,440 Speaker 3: was there for me in that moment. 1341 00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:52,480 Speaker 2: Amazing. I had to hear it. 1342 00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:54,720 Speaker 4: Okay, thank you, I'm welcome. 1343 00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:57,600 Speaker 2: Before we get into how this all ends, can you 1344 00:58:57,640 --> 00:59:01,640 Speaker 2: tell us about getting pregnant and how Nike responded to 1345 00:59:01,680 --> 00:59:02,520 Speaker 2: your pregnancy. 1346 00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:03,120 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1347 00:59:03,160 --> 00:59:05,480 Speaker 3: So I was always honest with Alberto and with Nike 1348 00:59:05,560 --> 00:59:07,480 Speaker 3: that I wanted to have a baby. In fact, Alberto 1349 00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:10,160 Speaker 3: helped me plan when to have my baby, went to 1350 00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:12,480 Speaker 3: go through fertility treatment. It was just an open discussion 1351 00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:16,640 Speaker 3: and I asked him when it was time, like, what's 1352 00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:18,240 Speaker 3: going to happen to my contract? Because there was no 1353 00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:20,800 Speaker 3: maternity or the word pregnancy or anything like that in 1354 00:59:20,840 --> 00:59:23,040 Speaker 3: the Nike contracts, and he went to the head of 1355 00:59:23,040 --> 00:59:25,160 Speaker 3: sports marketing, who's in charge of that, and he said, 1356 00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:27,520 Speaker 3: don't even go there. As long as she stays relevant, 1357 00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:31,200 Speaker 3: we'll pay her. So while during my pregnancy, I did 1358 00:59:31,240 --> 00:59:35,600 Speaker 3: dozens of interviews, magazine cover shoots. I traveled all around. 1359 00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:39,040 Speaker 3: You can see photos of me running with a huge belly. 1360 00:59:39,680 --> 00:59:42,640 Speaker 3: Nike actually orchestrated my announcement of my pregnancy. It was 1361 00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:44,520 Speaker 3: on the front page of the New York Times Sports section, 1362 00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:48,760 Speaker 3: and they orchestrated all of that. And so then when 1363 00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:51,640 Speaker 3: I was entering my third trimester, I was really surprised 1364 00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:53,479 Speaker 3: when I found out that they had cut my pay 1365 00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:56,160 Speaker 3: and they said I was suspended. They didn't know for 1366 00:59:56,240 --> 00:59:58,560 Speaker 3: how long, but that I had broken my contract by 1367 00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:00,920 Speaker 3: not like I had let one hundred twenty days lapse 1368 01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:03,120 Speaker 3: between competitions, and at that point it was a lot 1369 01:00:03,120 --> 01:00:05,800 Speaker 3: more than one hundred and twenty days, and that I 1370 01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:08,680 Speaker 3: was suspended indefinitely. They didn't know when they would start 1371 01:00:08,720 --> 01:00:12,040 Speaker 3: paying me again. But the sooner I returned to competition, 1372 01:00:12,120 --> 01:00:15,439 Speaker 3: the better. And I was totally blindsided. 1373 01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:19,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, they've been using you to promote their companies. 1374 01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:23,400 Speaker 1: It's worth noting that lines of women were coming to 1375 01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:25,960 Speaker 1: get to see you because they were like, that's so cool. 1376 01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:28,480 Speaker 1: A female athlete's getting pregnant. She's going to be a 1377 01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:30,280 Speaker 1: mom and a professional athlete. 1378 01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:32,200 Speaker 2: Like they're parading you around. 1379 01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:35,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, they're parading you and they're getting so much positive 1380 01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:41,320 Speaker 1: attention for supporting pregnant women athletes, and then behind the scenes, 1381 01:00:41,640 --> 01:00:42,280 Speaker 1: not so much. 1382 01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:42,840 Speaker 4: Yeah. 1383 01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:46,080 Speaker 3: What they were sharing was we support women on all 1384 01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:49,200 Speaker 3: walks of life, female athletes, and at the time, I 1385 01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:51,920 Speaker 3: was the most requested female athlete at Nike across all 1386 01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:56,720 Speaker 3: sports for interviews and appearances, and I was being touted 1387 01:00:56,760 --> 01:00:59,880 Speaker 3: as like, look, you can have it all, and Nike's. 1388 01:00:59,440 --> 01:01:02,120 Speaker 4: There for you, like they love all of the women. 1389 01:01:02,240 --> 01:01:04,120 Speaker 2: You can have it all parts for a paycheck. 1390 01:01:04,280 --> 01:01:06,000 Speaker 4: Sorry, yeah, yeah exactly. 1391 01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:09,080 Speaker 3: But behind closed doors, it was well, you haven't raced, 1392 01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:11,680 Speaker 3: you haven't met your requirement and so and it was 1393 01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:15,480 Speaker 3: really really hard. And you know, I had bought into 1394 01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:17,400 Speaker 3: that whole Nike family thing. I thought it would be 1395 01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:19,920 Speaker 3: in the Nike family even when I was done racing. 1396 01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:21,680 Speaker 3: I thought I would like go into coaching or help 1397 01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:26,400 Speaker 3: with shoe development something, and it was such a stark 1398 01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:29,840 Speaker 3: realization that, like, this is a business, and I tried 1399 01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:32,640 Speaker 3: to fight it. I met with different lawyers there. I 1400 01:01:32,680 --> 01:01:34,960 Speaker 3: went all the way up to the CEO, Mark Parker, 1401 01:01:35,480 --> 01:01:37,200 Speaker 3: because I knew him. I had flown on the Nike 1402 01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:39,680 Speaker 3: Jet a couple of times with him, and I just 1403 01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:41,720 Speaker 3: said like, look, I think this is totally unfair. You've 1404 01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:44,440 Speaker 3: been marketing this way and if people knew what was 1405 01:01:44,440 --> 01:01:48,200 Speaker 3: really happening, they would be horrified, you know. And he 1406 01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:52,320 Speaker 3: he chose company loyalty over like ethics, you know, and 1407 01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:54,120 Speaker 3: he said, I believe in the team. I believe they'll 1408 01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:56,760 Speaker 3: do the right thing. And so, yeah, it was really hard. 1409 01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:59,400 Speaker 3: And that was when I when I really started to 1410 01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:01,920 Speaker 3: think I want to I want to leave Nike when 1411 01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:04,680 Speaker 3: I can. I still had years on my contract. In fact, 1412 01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:07,920 Speaker 3: they added a year because of my pregnancy, but I 1413 01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:11,200 Speaker 3: was started to think, like, this brand does not represent 1414 01:02:11,440 --> 01:02:13,720 Speaker 3: what I believe what I represent. 1415 01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:16,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, so what was the straw that broke the camel's 1416 01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:17,840 Speaker 2: back with Alberto? 1417 01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:21,520 Speaker 3: It's kind of embarrassing because of all the things that happened, 1418 01:02:21,520 --> 01:02:24,640 Speaker 3: like including him constantly talking about my breast, all these 1419 01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:27,160 Speaker 3: things that had happened. We were on a flight to 1420 01:02:27,200 --> 01:02:29,240 Speaker 3: the World Championships and it was just he and I. 1421 01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:31,560 Speaker 3: We hadn't been along together alone, just the two of 1422 01:02:31,640 --> 01:02:36,200 Speaker 3: us in a long time, and he he started, you know, 1423 01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:38,640 Speaker 3: kind of back like had been a couple of years earlier, 1424 01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:41,840 Speaker 3: started talking about sexual experiences and stuff. And then he 1425 01:02:41,960 --> 01:02:45,000 Speaker 3: just was like basically told me, like we've we've been 1426 01:02:45,040 --> 01:02:48,400 Speaker 3: into each other, you and had time, yeah, me and him, 1427 01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:51,560 Speaker 3: and yeah, like Adam and Molly will never know. 1428 01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:52,920 Speaker 4: And he tried to kiss me. 1429 01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:56,240 Speaker 3: And it's kind of embarrassing that that was the breaking point, 1430 01:02:56,280 --> 01:02:59,240 Speaker 3: but I couldn't compartmentalize it because it was in my face, 1431 01:02:59,280 --> 01:03:01,720 Speaker 3: like literally it was in my face and there. I 1432 01:03:01,760 --> 01:03:04,040 Speaker 3: got up and went to the bathroom and I was thinking, like, 1433 01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:07,120 Speaker 3: there's no way to excuse it, like that just happened. 1434 01:03:07,440 --> 01:03:11,760 Speaker 3: And I've just felt really degraded because I still thought him, 1435 01:03:11,800 --> 01:03:14,040 Speaker 3: even though we were having some issues with our relationship 1436 01:03:14,040 --> 01:03:15,800 Speaker 3: and you'd been treating me differently, I still thought he 1437 01:03:15,840 --> 01:03:18,960 Speaker 3: was just like like a father figure. And so that 1438 01:03:19,120 --> 01:03:22,200 Speaker 3: was that was definitely the last draw for me. I 1439 01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:25,040 Speaker 3: got through that championship and I told my husband I'm leading, 1440 01:03:25,280 --> 01:03:26,560 Speaker 3: and I never went back. 1441 01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:28,680 Speaker 2: I don't think that's embarrassing at all. I think it 1442 01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:33,000 Speaker 2: makes total sense. So just just so you know, because 1443 01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:36,200 Speaker 2: I mean before it's like very it's covert. You're like, 1444 01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:38,040 Speaker 2: is this an accident? Is this mistake? 1445 01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:39,720 Speaker 1: Am I crazy for thinking? 1446 01:03:39,840 --> 01:03:42,880 Speaker 2: Yeah? But when he is just saying it to your face, 1447 01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:46,000 Speaker 2: that's like, oh, this isn't in my head, this is real, 1448 01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:47,800 Speaker 2: this is actually happening, and I. 1449 01:03:47,880 --> 01:03:50,919 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, there was no amount of like mental gymnastics 1450 01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:52,880 Speaker 3: to be like, that didn't happen right the way that 1451 01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:55,160 Speaker 3: it happened, right, Like other things, I knew it happened, 1452 01:03:55,160 --> 01:03:57,400 Speaker 3: but I'm like the way that it happened. I could 1453 01:03:57,480 --> 01:03:59,280 Speaker 3: change the way I felt like the way that it happened. 1454 01:03:59,280 --> 01:04:01,120 Speaker 3: But this was so in my face. It was like 1455 01:04:01,560 --> 01:04:04,760 Speaker 3: and I'm gonna break I'm gonna have a breakdown because 1456 01:04:04,760 --> 01:04:06,880 Speaker 3: I actually cannot put that in a box. 1457 01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:10,880 Speaker 2: Right, So tell us about what happened after that and 1458 01:04:11,560 --> 01:04:15,280 Speaker 2: the next coach that you had and the contrast between them. 1459 01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:15,880 Speaker 4: Yeah. 1460 01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:19,800 Speaker 3: So I left and I had a meeting with him 1461 01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:22,600 Speaker 3: where I asked him to meet me. My husband offered 1462 01:04:22,600 --> 01:04:24,760 Speaker 3: to come and I said, no, this is between me 1463 01:04:24,800 --> 01:04:26,760 Speaker 3: and Alberto, and I showed up for the meeting and 1464 01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:30,400 Speaker 3: Darren was there and they were both telling me like, 1465 01:04:30,720 --> 01:04:32,800 Speaker 3: don't cut off your nose to spite your face, and 1466 01:04:32,800 --> 01:04:36,880 Speaker 3: you're gonna like you're gonna throw everything away. And I 1467 01:04:36,960 --> 01:04:39,560 Speaker 3: remember just kind of sitting there being like seeing everything 1468 01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:42,360 Speaker 3: from a different light, but I was still emotional. I mean, 1469 01:04:42,400 --> 01:04:44,960 Speaker 3: these are people that had been like so important to me. 1470 01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:48,440 Speaker 3: And then I just remember like Darren saying if you leave, 1471 01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:50,160 Speaker 3: you won't be able to work with me anymore, and 1472 01:04:50,200 --> 01:04:51,560 Speaker 3: I just remember that was such a trigger for me. 1473 01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:55,440 Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, thank god that didn't work out 1474 01:04:55,440 --> 01:04:56,760 Speaker 3: the way he thought it was gonna work out. 1475 01:04:57,200 --> 01:04:59,000 Speaker 2: Wait, now I really need to do it. 1476 01:05:00,080 --> 01:05:01,880 Speaker 3: So I left, and then there was this time of 1477 01:05:01,920 --> 01:05:04,080 Speaker 3: like trying to find a new coach, and finally I 1478 01:05:04,200 --> 01:05:05,920 Speaker 3: ended up with another coach that was part of the 1479 01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:09,560 Speaker 3: Nike Jorgan project and he was also very very strict, 1480 01:05:09,600 --> 01:05:12,000 Speaker 3: but like he didn't ask me about my sex life, 1481 01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:14,000 Speaker 3: he didn't ask me what I was doing at night, 1482 01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:16,880 Speaker 3: he didn't ask me to step on a scale. He 1483 01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:18,960 Speaker 3: just expected me to show up and work my boat 1484 01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:21,680 Speaker 3: off that practice. And I wasn't getting text messages from 1485 01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:25,640 Speaker 3: him all day long. Or it was so different, and 1486 01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:28,520 Speaker 3: part of it is like I was over it, Like 1487 01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:29,720 Speaker 3: I was like, I'm never going to be in this 1488 01:05:29,800 --> 01:05:32,400 Speaker 3: situation again. And he and I were only eight years apart, 1489 01:05:32,480 --> 01:05:34,880 Speaker 3: so I didn't fear. I didn't you know, he didn't 1490 01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:35,400 Speaker 3: fill that. 1491 01:05:35,320 --> 01:05:37,480 Speaker 4: Father figure role at all. He was strictly a coach. 1492 01:05:37,840 --> 01:05:41,000 Speaker 3: But it was just a healthy relationship where I could 1493 01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:43,840 Speaker 3: tell him if I was mad or whatever and he 1494 01:05:43,880 --> 01:05:46,080 Speaker 3: would just deal with it, or we would have a 1495 01:05:46,120 --> 01:05:48,360 Speaker 3: conversation about what I wanted to do differently, and we 1496 01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:50,520 Speaker 3: would have a conversation of if it was good or 1497 01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:53,560 Speaker 3: not long term, and but it was just everything was 1498 01:05:53,640 --> 01:05:55,440 Speaker 3: about running and not. 1499 01:05:56,040 --> 01:05:58,280 Speaker 4: You know, it stayed in its lane. He was my 1500 01:05:58,360 --> 01:05:59,040 Speaker 4: running coach. 1501 01:05:59,160 --> 01:06:01,200 Speaker 1: Can you tell us that asking him if you could 1502 01:06:01,280 --> 01:06:02,760 Speaker 1: dye your hair darker? 1503 01:06:03,240 --> 01:06:05,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, So I had want I had this picture of 1504 01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:06,960 Speaker 3: my mom and she had this beautiful black hair, and 1505 01:06:07,200 --> 01:06:09,800 Speaker 3: I had told Alberta, like, I'm thinking about dying my 1506 01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:10,640 Speaker 3: hair black, and he was like. 1507 01:06:10,600 --> 01:06:13,320 Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, like you're you're the girl next door. 1508 01:06:13,360 --> 01:06:13,920 Speaker 4: Don't do that. 1509 01:06:14,080 --> 01:06:15,480 Speaker 3: So one day I said something to Jerry. I was like, 1510 01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:17,400 Speaker 3: I'm thinking about dying my hair black, Like would you care? 1511 01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:19,280 Speaker 3: And he was like like he literally looked at me 1512 01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:20,520 Speaker 3: like I just spoke Chinese at him. 1513 01:06:20,560 --> 01:06:24,200 Speaker 4: He was just like what right, what right? And so 1514 01:06:24,240 --> 01:06:26,280 Speaker 4: I would and did it and he didn't even notice. 1515 01:06:26,320 --> 01:06:28,920 Speaker 4: Like that just shows the difference. He didn't even notice. 1516 01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:30,600 Speaker 3: Like I got to practice and everyone's like, oh my god, 1517 01:06:30,640 --> 01:06:33,320 Speaker 3: your hair, and he didn't even notice. So it just 1518 01:06:33,440 --> 01:06:35,640 Speaker 3: was a completely different world. And it helped me to 1519 01:06:35,680 --> 01:06:38,120 Speaker 3: start to step back. It took me years to really 1520 01:06:38,160 --> 01:06:40,040 Speaker 3: like deal with it all, but it helped me to 1521 01:06:40,040 --> 01:06:42,840 Speaker 3: start stepping back and seeing like what an unhealthy environment 1522 01:06:42,880 --> 01:06:43,400 Speaker 3: I had been in. 1523 01:06:43,640 --> 01:06:46,120 Speaker 1: Right, Erry sounds like such a legend, and it seemed 1524 01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:48,000 Speaker 1: like Alberta would always pick on him and make fun 1525 01:06:48,040 --> 01:06:50,800 Speaker 1: of him and try to like undermine this actually good 1526 01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:52,120 Speaker 1: person doing good stuff. 1527 01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:55,320 Speaker 3: And yeah, yeah, for the jerrys of the world, Yeah, 1528 01:06:55,320 --> 01:06:56,800 Speaker 3: for sure. I was lucky to have him for a 1529 01:06:56,800 --> 01:06:58,560 Speaker 3: couple of years. And I left, you know, when my 1530 01:06:58,720 --> 01:07:00,800 Speaker 3: when I was able to get out of my contract, 1531 01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:02,080 Speaker 3: you know I would. 1532 01:07:02,240 --> 01:07:03,360 Speaker 4: He handled it so great. 1533 01:07:03,400 --> 01:07:05,000 Speaker 3: He was like, I don't blame you, I wish you 1534 01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:07,040 Speaker 3: the best. I think you still have more running. And 1535 01:07:07,120 --> 01:07:09,160 Speaker 3: I was able to move back to Colorado and finish 1536 01:07:09,160 --> 01:07:11,640 Speaker 3: out my career with my college coach, which was really special. 1537 01:07:11,760 --> 01:07:14,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, So looking back on it now, I mean, how 1538 01:07:14,160 --> 01:07:17,280 Speaker 2: do you feel about this experience now and how did 1539 01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:20,760 Speaker 2: it change your relationship to running in general? If it did. 1540 01:07:20,920 --> 01:07:22,840 Speaker 3: I lost my love of running for a long time 1541 01:07:23,080 --> 01:07:25,240 Speaker 3: because I felt like it was sort of tainted and 1542 01:07:25,280 --> 01:07:27,000 Speaker 3: dirty and it wasn't for me. 1543 01:07:27,440 --> 01:07:30,400 Speaker 4: But I have that love back. I will be really 1544 01:07:30,440 --> 01:07:31,400 Speaker 4: honest that I've been through. 1545 01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:35,240 Speaker 3: A lot of therapy because as I started to get 1546 01:07:35,280 --> 01:07:38,520 Speaker 3: further and further back, I felt really icky about ways 1547 01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:40,920 Speaker 3: I had acted, about the things that I had allowed 1548 01:07:40,960 --> 01:07:43,360 Speaker 3: to take place around me, and there was a lot 1549 01:07:43,360 --> 01:07:46,280 Speaker 3: of shame in that. I'm at a point now where 1550 01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:48,880 Speaker 3: I don't I don't feel shameful. I feel like I 1551 01:07:48,880 --> 01:07:51,920 Speaker 3: was manipulated in a situation and they took my trust, 1552 01:07:51,960 --> 01:07:54,440 Speaker 3: and they took the things about me like I'm a 1553 01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:56,400 Speaker 3: little broken bird, like I lost my dad. I have 1554 01:07:56,520 --> 01:07:58,480 Speaker 3: these insecurities and they took those and they use that 1555 01:07:58,520 --> 01:08:00,440 Speaker 3: against me. And I think that happened to a lot 1556 01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:04,120 Speaker 3: of people. And I look back and I feel sad. 1557 01:08:04,280 --> 01:08:05,880 Speaker 3: I feel sad because I feel like if I had 1558 01:08:05,880 --> 01:08:07,720 Speaker 3: been in a better environment, who knows what I could 1559 01:08:07,760 --> 01:08:08,360 Speaker 3: have achieved. 1560 01:08:09,520 --> 01:08:11,680 Speaker 4: But I also but I also feel. 1561 01:08:11,440 --> 01:08:13,680 Speaker 3: Like they underestimated who I was, and I am like 1562 01:08:13,760 --> 01:08:15,640 Speaker 3: out here holding them accountable for it. I don't think 1563 01:08:15,680 --> 01:08:16,200 Speaker 3: they ever. 1564 01:08:16,160 --> 01:08:17,160 Speaker 4: Thought that that would happen. 1565 01:08:17,320 --> 01:08:19,880 Speaker 1: I mean, you've got death threats and you were like, cool, 1566 01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:20,760 Speaker 1: let's go. 1567 01:08:20,840 --> 01:08:21,800 Speaker 4: Well it wasn't like cool. 1568 01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:26,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, oh god, just getting real basically, yeah, 1569 01:08:26,479 --> 01:08:27,200 Speaker 3: but you kept going. 1570 01:08:27,439 --> 01:08:28,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, I kept going. 1571 01:08:29,080 --> 01:08:30,680 Speaker 3: But I had to see it through right, like I 1572 01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:34,680 Speaker 3: couldn't every time, Like when I fought him first to 1573 01:08:35,080 --> 01:08:40,400 Speaker 3: have him banned through anti doping, through that hearing and everything, 1574 01:08:40,479 --> 01:08:41,800 Speaker 3: and when I was asked to be a part of 1575 01:08:41,840 --> 01:08:43,759 Speaker 3: the Safe Sport case, which is what he is essentially 1576 01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:46,519 Speaker 3: banned for life for, which is for sexual abuse, I 1577 01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:49,120 Speaker 3: really didn't want to do it. I was like, I'm tired. 1578 01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:52,800 Speaker 3: I am just finally dealing with what happened to me. 1579 01:08:53,040 --> 01:08:55,000 Speaker 3: I won't have to relive it in a situation where 1580 01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:56,880 Speaker 3: he's there and where he has a lawyer who can, 1581 01:08:57,479 --> 01:08:59,839 Speaker 3: you know, ask me questions and make me feel small. 1582 01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:02,120 Speaker 3: But then I really thought about honestly, I really thought 1583 01:09:02,120 --> 01:09:06,200 Speaker 3: about my nieces, who are really good girls, like do 1584 01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:09,240 Speaker 3: what you're asked, really polite, and I thought someone has 1585 01:09:09,280 --> 01:09:12,280 Speaker 3: to change this, because otherwise they could one hundred percent end. 1586 01:09:12,240 --> 01:09:14,960 Speaker 4: Up where I did, right, Like, that's just that's how it's. 1587 01:09:14,760 --> 01:09:16,559 Speaker 3: Going to be, because they're not going to question, they're 1588 01:09:16,560 --> 01:09:18,920 Speaker 3: going to be thankful, they're gonna they're just going to 1589 01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:21,760 Speaker 3: be like I was. And so I really thought about them, 1590 01:09:22,200 --> 01:09:24,600 Speaker 3: and that's what really motivated me to see it all 1591 01:09:24,640 --> 01:09:26,960 Speaker 3: the way through. And when it was done, it was done. 1592 01:09:26,960 --> 01:09:28,880 Speaker 3: And now I get to move on. I get to 1593 01:09:28,920 --> 01:09:30,800 Speaker 3: have my life, I get to have my running, and 1594 01:09:31,439 --> 01:09:33,040 Speaker 3: I get to move on, and he does what he 1595 01:09:33,080 --> 01:09:34,960 Speaker 3: did doesn't get to define me anymore. 1596 01:09:35,240 --> 01:09:38,960 Speaker 2: I love that. If if there's someone listening who's experienced 1597 01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:43,080 Speaker 2: something similar, I mean, do you have any advice, do 1598 01:09:43,160 --> 01:09:44,160 Speaker 2: you have any tips? 1599 01:09:44,520 --> 01:09:46,599 Speaker 3: I think you know, first of all, you haven't done 1600 01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:48,800 Speaker 3: anything wrong, And if you're if you have a coach 1601 01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:50,880 Speaker 3: who's really involved in your life and it makes you 1602 01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:53,840 Speaker 3: feel any certain way, I would express that to someone 1603 01:09:53,880 --> 01:09:58,200 Speaker 3: by you, whether it's a parent or a teammate or 1604 01:09:58,280 --> 01:10:01,920 Speaker 3: a teacher or another coach, because usually your intuition is 1605 01:10:01,960 --> 01:10:04,120 Speaker 3: spot on, and I feel like I talked myself out 1606 01:10:04,160 --> 01:10:06,000 Speaker 3: of my intuition a lot. But I also want to 1607 01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:07,960 Speaker 3: say that there's no timeline on when you're ready to 1608 01:10:07,960 --> 01:10:10,320 Speaker 3: share these things. You may never want to share these things. 1609 01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:13,519 Speaker 3: You know, it took me. I didn't even talk about 1610 01:10:13,520 --> 01:10:16,639 Speaker 3: it with a therapist until, you know, over ten years 1611 01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:19,639 Speaker 3: after the first incident, And I think that can make 1612 01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:21,439 Speaker 3: people feel like, well, I don't deserve to talk about 1613 01:10:21,439 --> 01:10:23,080 Speaker 3: it now. I let so much time ago. But there's 1614 01:10:23,120 --> 01:10:26,360 Speaker 3: no rule book on any of it. And also, just 1615 01:10:26,560 --> 01:10:30,240 Speaker 3: be gentle with yourself because quite honestly, you were probably 1616 01:10:30,280 --> 01:10:33,000 Speaker 3: doing the best you could. You were surviving, and you 1617 01:10:33,040 --> 01:10:34,720 Speaker 3: were doing the best you could with what you had 1618 01:10:34,760 --> 01:10:36,920 Speaker 3: at the time. And you know, like when I was 1619 01:10:36,920 --> 01:10:38,880 Speaker 3: first in therapy, I was like, I didn't even say anything. 1620 01:10:38,880 --> 01:10:40,559 Speaker 3: I just lied there, like you could have even done 1621 01:10:40,600 --> 01:10:42,479 Speaker 3: more to me, and I wouldn't have said anything, like 1622 01:10:42,600 --> 01:10:45,639 Speaker 3: it's my fault. And now I look back and say, what, 1623 01:10:45,880 --> 01:10:47,720 Speaker 3: I was in survival mode and I did what I 1624 01:10:47,760 --> 01:10:48,719 Speaker 3: had to do to survive. 1625 01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:52,719 Speaker 2: Where can people find your book or anything else that you'd. 1626 01:10:52,560 --> 01:10:52,960 Speaker 1: Like to share? 1627 01:10:53,200 --> 01:10:55,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, you can follow me on social at Carigaucher 1628 01:10:55,720 --> 01:10:58,040 Speaker 3: on Twitter and Instagram, and I have like any events 1629 01:10:58,040 --> 01:10:59,920 Speaker 3: I'm going to be and stuff. My book is called 1630 01:11:00,040 --> 01:11:01,960 Speaker 3: The Longest Race, and you can get it at most 1631 01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:05,880 Speaker 3: bookstores on Amazon, anything like that, and you can catch 1632 01:11:05,920 --> 01:11:09,880 Speaker 3: me on NBC. I'm the distance analyst for Distance Races 1633 01:11:09,880 --> 01:11:11,840 Speaker 3: and Track and Field, so you'll hear my voice if 1634 01:11:11,880 --> 01:11:12,639 Speaker 3: you turn out of track. 1635 01:11:12,720 --> 01:11:12,960 Speaker 1: Cool. 1636 01:11:13,160 --> 01:11:14,120 Speaker 2: It's an awesome book. 1637 01:11:14,360 --> 01:11:18,080 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Thank you so much for being here. Yeah, 1638 01:11:18,240 --> 01:11:19,120 Speaker 1: have an awesome day. 1639 01:11:19,320 --> 01:11:20,800 Speaker 4: Thank you, thanks so much for having me. 1640 01:11:21,120 --> 01:11:25,840 Speaker 2: Alrighty, Meghan. Yes, that concludes our interview with. 1641 01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:28,200 Speaker 1: Kara, who I love. She's so cool. 1642 01:11:28,479 --> 01:11:30,960 Speaker 2: Megan, what do you think would you join the Nike 1643 01:11:31,160 --> 01:11:36,679 Speaker 2: organ Project? Hell? Yes, me too. Yes, it sounds so cool. 1644 01:11:36,960 --> 01:11:40,240 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I would join it so quickly. I 1645 01:11:40,640 --> 01:11:42,439 Speaker 1: hate that he turned out to be such a little 1646 01:11:42,680 --> 01:11:46,120 Speaker 1: piece of work. Hit work sounds too like cute, He's 1647 01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:49,879 Speaker 1: a piece of shit. Yeah. I would join in a heartbeat, 1648 01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:53,360 Speaker 1: and I would be completely heartbroken and destroyed when he 1649 01:11:53,520 --> 01:11:54,960 Speaker 1: turned out to be a monster. 1650 01:11:55,240 --> 01:11:57,920 Speaker 2: Dude. It sounds like like if someone was like, hey, Lola, 1651 01:11:58,080 --> 01:12:01,880 Speaker 2: do you want to join this like elite filmmakers like 1652 01:12:02,439 --> 01:12:06,479 Speaker 2: retreat extended retreat where you get to like have all 1653 01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:10,360 Speaker 2: the beautiful, yeah, peaceful writing spaces in the world, but 1654 01:12:10,360 --> 01:12:12,880 Speaker 2: then also go over this section for your inspiration and 1655 01:12:12,920 --> 01:12:16,559 Speaker 2: then also interact with other established filmmakers over here, like 1656 01:12:16,640 --> 01:12:18,639 Speaker 2: one one hundred percent I would be there. 1657 01:12:18,640 --> 01:12:21,920 Speaker 1: There would be nothing better. There would be nothing better. Yeah, 1658 01:12:22,120 --> 01:12:23,519 Speaker 1: I signed me up. 1659 01:12:23,520 --> 01:12:27,680 Speaker 2: With like fucking I don't know, Michael Hannicky or like 1660 01:12:27,680 --> 01:12:30,000 Speaker 2: a whatever, a director I really respect. And that's the 1661 01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:32,200 Speaker 2: person running it, you know, like some like legend. 1662 01:12:32,520 --> 01:12:35,519 Speaker 1: And then like your husband is also an artist and 1663 01:12:35,640 --> 01:12:38,439 Speaker 1: also getting his needs met there too, right. 1664 01:12:38,880 --> 01:12:42,120 Speaker 2: Element heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven. 1665 01:12:42,280 --> 01:12:44,439 Speaker 1: I hate that it turned out the way it did, 1666 01:12:44,800 --> 01:12:48,439 Speaker 1: but there, for a minute, Wow, yeah, sounded pretty perfect. 1667 01:12:48,560 --> 01:12:51,839 Speaker 2: I mean, then it sounds like Nike has implemented changes. 1668 01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:56,200 Speaker 2: It sounds like the industry in general is like experiencing 1669 01:12:56,320 --> 01:13:00,640 Speaker 2: a shift. But you know it, it takes people like 1670 01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:03,400 Speaker 2: Kara speaking out for those changes to happen. 1671 01:13:03,520 --> 01:13:05,320 Speaker 1: It's not She's very brave. 1672 01:13:05,400 --> 01:13:06,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, she is very brave. 1673 01:13:07,000 --> 01:13:09,640 Speaker 1: Well, on that note, keep being brave yourselves, y'all. We 1674 01:13:09,720 --> 01:13:11,439 Speaker 1: got a lot of work to do in this world. 1675 01:13:11,840 --> 01:13:14,080 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening this week. We can't 1676 01:13:14,120 --> 01:13:17,040 Speaker 1: wait to talk to you here next week, and as always, 1677 01:13:17,080 --> 01:13:19,559 Speaker 1: remember to follow your gut, watch out for red. 1678 01:13:19,479 --> 01:13:22,040 Speaker 2: Flax, and never ever. 1679 01:13:22,360 --> 01:13:27,400 Speaker 1: Trust me, Bye bye. 1680 01:13:28,640 --> 01:13:31,360 Speaker 2: Trust me. As produced by Kirsten Woodward, Gabby Rapp, and 1681 01:13:31,400 --> 01:13:32,720 Speaker 2: Steve Delemator. 1682 01:13:32,360 --> 01:13:34,280 Speaker 1: With special thanks to Stacy Para. 1683 01:13:34,200 --> 01:13:36,639 Speaker 2: And our theme song was composed by Holly amber Church. 1684 01:13:36,840 --> 01:13:39,720 Speaker 1: You can find us on Instagram at trust Me Podcast, 1685 01:13:39,920 --> 01:13:43,280 Speaker 1: Twitter at trust Me Cult Pod, or on TikTok at 1686 01:13:43,320 --> 01:13:45,000 Speaker 1: trust Me Cult Podcast. 1687 01:13:45,160 --> 01:13:48,520 Speaker 2: I'm Ula Lola on Instagram and oh La Lola on Twitter. 1688 01:13:48,240 --> 01:13:51,800 Speaker 1: And I am Megan Elizabeth eleven on Instagram and Babraham 1689 01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:53,040 Speaker 1: Hicks on Twitter. 1690 01:13:53,200 --> 01:14:00,639 Speaker 2: Remember to rate and review and spread the word.