Speaker 1: This is what happens when I have a friend on
Speaker 1: the podcast. We just dive right in. Welcome back to
Speaker 1: the Give Them All a Podcast. I have a dear
Speaker 1: friend of mine, Kristen Dody, and I love that she.
Speaker 1: She just rolled in here looking sheaic as fuck and
Speaker 1: it's like said something about diarrhea, and I was like,
Speaker 1: she was walking down the hall, I hear it. She
Speaker 1: comes in the office. I was like, hold up, you
Speaker 1: have diarrhea, but you're.
Speaker 2: Ever say I might have COVID and walking into your
Speaker 2: office and saying I have diarrhea. I do not have diarrhea.
Speaker 2: I would admit if I did to you.
Speaker 1: Okay, good because I'm y old, like thin right now,
Speaker 1: trying to pack on the pounds. So anything that's going
Speaker 1: to make me have diarrhea or throw up, I just
Speaker 1: can't afford it.
Speaker 2: My my friend, my Luke, who my my co host
Speaker 2: on my podcast.
Speaker 3: Your podcast, Sex Love and What Else Matter with Kristin Dodie.
Speaker 2: Because nothing else does it really doesn't. Luke left town yesterday.
Speaker 2: He's been in la He lives in Colorado. He left
Speaker 2: town yesterday to go home and handle some shit. And
Speaker 2: while he's handling his shit, I'm handling his German shepherd's shit.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, I think getting harder than a baby.
Speaker 2: What do you think you have a one? I don't.
Speaker 2: I feel like a human would never make me feel that,
Speaker 2: like stressed out, because it's like, but it's my baby,
Speaker 2: Like yeah, it's streussful. I'll tell you sitting and stuff,
Speaker 2: but it's my purse, it's my little baby.
Speaker 1: One percent. Your baby is like your baby, and I'm
Speaker 1: sure there are people out there. Your dog is like
Speaker 1: your baby, and I'm sure there are people out there
Speaker 1: who don't have a connection to children and their dogs
Speaker 1: really are their babies. As someone who has always wanted
Speaker 1: kids but is dog obsessed, like Lily is my baby,
Speaker 1: and I've said to her, said to Lily even when
Speaker 1: I was pregnant, I was like, don't worry because I
Speaker 1: could never love this baby as much as I love you,
Speaker 1: Like there's just no possible way. And then yeah, ocean
Speaker 1: like slip and slide it out of my vagina, and
Speaker 1: it was like, really sorry.
Speaker 2: I know, and I was I listened. I was listening
Speaker 2: to your last podcast when Easton came back on with
Speaker 2: you guys, and in the very beginning, you said I
Speaker 2: wish everyone could experience my baby, and I'm like, I
Speaker 2: do too, I wish everyone could experience ocean because Jess
Speaker 2: posted a selfie video that ocean.
Speaker 3: Took selfie video that ocean took his and I immediately
Speaker 3: wrote you and I said, I have one of those
Speaker 3: on my phone too, from Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2: You do, And she's like holding the phone up like
Speaker 2: she's taking a selfie and good light.
Speaker 1: Actually she's seen that evil from No It's incredible.
Speaker 3: Kyle saw that on my phone and he said, did
Speaker 3: she take that video herself?
Speaker 4: And I said, yeah, she does. He's at wait, he
Speaker 4: like was shocked. He's like, no, she's a genius.
Speaker 2: She is? Is she?
Speaker 1: I don't know, but like last night, Okay, So she
Speaker 1: gets these little rashes where her diaper sits on her
Speaker 1: legs because she's got little legs.
Speaker 2: She's a little.
Speaker 1: And she's a tiny little tot, but she's keeping like
Speaker 1: an almost two year old, so there's like a lot.
Speaker 1: So we got to size up in the diapers, right,
Speaker 1: So the diapers are baggy, but they fill up pretty quick.
Speaker 1: But she knows that when I change her dipe that
Speaker 1: I put cream on the little like I guess rashes
Speaker 1: on her legs. She has her baby out yesterday. You
Speaker 1: guys with the diaper with the wipes like those little
Speaker 1: bitty babies or whatever from American Girl. You can get
Speaker 1: all the little stuff and there's diaper rash cream. And
Speaker 1: I'm watching her dabbit on both of the inside of
Speaker 1: the baby's legs.
Speaker 4: Is she's sucking genius? She actually is.
Speaker 1: Back to what I was going to say about the dogs.
Speaker 1: I feel like dogs actually are harder. And here's why.
Speaker 1: Because a baby, like is only a baby for so long,
Speaker 1: and then they with every day that passes, they become
Speaker 1: more and more independent, right, and they know how to
Speaker 1: they learn how to how to communicate.
Speaker 2: A dog is basically a newborn forever.
Speaker 1: Yes, So that's where it is very different. So you
Speaker 1: basically have four new newborns living in your house, Like they.
Speaker 2: Know how to communicate as much as they can buttrist,
Speaker 2: but they just depend on me the way that a
Speaker 2: newborn does. Like you have to let me outside, you
Speaker 2: have to feed me, you have to give me water,
Speaker 2: you have to play with me.
Speaker 1: And if I have to project, I'll pop everywhere and
Speaker 1: I can't get outside quick enough and I can't sit
Speaker 1: on a toilet.
Speaker 2: And I backyard anymore.
Speaker 1: You know what, they'll baby, you'll get there. Let's talk
Speaker 1: about that because I was there when you became a homeowner.
Speaker 1: I was there when you sold your home, and we
Speaker 1: I didn't like it as like a going away party.
Speaker 1: It was more like, let's celebrate Ben, it's new beginnings.
Speaker 2: But it was not the new beginning I was looking for.
Speaker 1: Well, girl, I feel you on that. It's a very stratch.
Speaker 2: We're in similar positions, although very not but still having
Speaker 2: with someone else into their home and starting a life
Speaker 2: totally thought. Granted I was not engaged or with child,
Speaker 2: but just yeah.
Speaker 1: But you know what I really and situations are are relative,
Speaker 1: you know, like you could be going through something completely
Speaker 1: different than me, and our pain could be the exact same.
Speaker 1: Like who is one to judge which is more painful
Speaker 1: than the other, doesn't matter. Pain is pain. So you
Speaker 1: having to sell this home that you had worked for
Speaker 1: for your entire life? Yeah, I mean what was like
Speaker 1: the morning process of that. I've never been a homeowner.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I mean, I'll like start at the
Speaker 2: end and work backwards. But like the very very last night,
Speaker 2: I almost just slept in a sleeping bag, But like
Speaker 2: I stayed there for so long and just cried on
Speaker 2: my back. I could like cry right not thinking about it.
Speaker 2: I cried on my back patio. Like a couple of
Speaker 2: people came over, like a neighbor and Zach, my best friend,
Speaker 2: and like came over and we had a glass of wine.
Speaker 2: But I mostly just like sat there just staring at everything,
Speaker 2: like no furniture. These people are about to like come
Speaker 2: take over the especially because I didn't buy a turn keyhouse,
Speaker 2: you know, like I love it. I put a lot
Speaker 2: of work, a lot of love, a lot of money,
Speaker 2: a lot of money. So yeah, I still have this
Speaker 2: feeling like one day it's going to be my second home.
Speaker 2: One day I'm going to be so stupid wealthy that
Speaker 2: I'm just going to go back to those people or
Speaker 2: whoever owns it, and I'll be like, what do you
Speaker 2: want for it? That's amazing? Do you realize I need it?
Speaker 1: You're manifesting right now on this podcast, And I believe
Speaker 1: in that wholeheartedly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've driven by it twice. I won't do it again.
Speaker 2: They've painted it like this ugly shade of like elephant
Speaker 2: sad gray and with like a black mesh fence around it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, this house was like magical and amsicle.
Speaker 1: No, very whimsical. It felt like you were in a
Speaker 1: story book. Yeah, like the fence and just all of it.
Speaker 1: It was like I feel like I'm in a nursery rhyme.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that was was that a lot of your doing?
Speaker 3: You said you didn't buy a turnkey house, so was
Speaker 3: a lot of it there when you moved in or
Speaker 3: did you move in and just put all of that work.
Speaker 2: Into the vibe? It was I bought the house because
Speaker 2: of the vibe. Okay, I knew going in. I had
Speaker 2: to like knock down walls, redo floors, like gut things.
Speaker 2: I got it almost the whole backyard. But it was
Speaker 2: just like something about that house I kept like the
Speaker 2: day that I saw it. I just like I would
Speaker 2: walk out to the street, take a moment, I'm like,
Speaker 2: I gotta go back in. I gotta go back in.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It was just like with a dog, you like meet
Speaker 2: your dog, like you know that that's your animal. It's
Speaker 2: like I knew that was my house, regardless of how
Speaker 2: much work it was going to take.
Speaker 3: I am curious though, with your house, Kristen, do you
Speaker 3: think you had so much attachment and love to it.
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm sure there's many many reasons, Like you said,
Speaker 4: you put so much work into it.
Speaker 3: Did you go through some like deep changes there or
Speaker 3: like find yourself for?
Speaker 4: How long were you there?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Oh my god, I was there two and a
Speaker 2: half years. But it was like the most independent I
Speaker 2: had ever felt, because I had just broken up with
Speaker 2: my ex boyfriend Carter and kept my apartment for a
Speaker 2: couple of months, like in the interim while I was
Speaker 2: like making changes, but I really like moved in there
Speaker 2: on my own. At that time, I was still doing
Speaker 2: the show vander Pump and then I got my book deal.
Speaker 2: I wrote my entire book in that house, in that
Speaker 2: backyard and like a little bit in Palm Springs but whatever,
Speaker 2: and like I had a James May office and I
Speaker 2: was just I was fucking thriving.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like at her arriving home, it was her house,
Speaker 1: and then you went out to like this amazing backyard
Speaker 1: which was also just like such a few The whole
Speaker 1: thing was very feel good. Yeah, but there was a second.
Speaker 2: It was the garage that was converted.
Speaker 1: It was converted, but she had it was amazing. It
Speaker 1: was beautifully done. And she had like cute chairs and
Speaker 1: her neon sign that said James May and all of
Speaker 1: her area where she would package things. So it was
Speaker 1: not only like a feel good home, but it was
Speaker 1: also very functional.
Speaker 2: It was just like productive totally because essentially that like
Speaker 2: the like long story short, but the office was meant
Speaker 2: to be kind of like a showroom. At the time,
Speaker 2: I had an office downtown in Downtown, LA where I
Speaker 2: had people like packing all my stuff. But then the
Speaker 2: pandemic hit right a year after I got it, so
Speaker 2: it was like we had to get out of Downtown.
Speaker 2: I wasn't you know, we were in legit lockdown where
Speaker 2: we weren't even allowed in that building anymore. So we
Speaker 2: had to move all of our inventory. But I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: thank god, I have all this space. Yeah, let's do
Speaker 2: the damn thing. That's an actual functional office, not just
Speaker 2: a showroom.
Speaker 1: There's going to be seasons, and it sounds so fucking cheesy,
Speaker 1: and until you're in experiencing seasons of life, you just
Speaker 1: have to roll with it and go, I don't know
Speaker 1: why the fuck this is happening, but what I do
Speaker 1: know is nothing less forever correct, and you you in
Speaker 1: those moments We talk about this all the time, just
Speaker 1: and I. In those moments you choose am I sinking
Speaker 1: or am I swimming? I like that and you fucking swam.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and even that I'm trying water for sure.
Speaker 1: Hey, I guess why your head is above water?
Speaker 2: Dish. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So whatever type of technique you're doing, it don't matter,
Speaker 1: all right, And you have incredible people around you. And
Speaker 1: I have to say, I don't realize, or didn't realize
Speaker 1: how sensitive my friend Kristen is. She comes off as
Speaker 1: a real tough bitch, like, I think you might be
Speaker 1: more sensitive than me.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm way more sensitive than you. But you're fine, Aquarius.
Speaker 2: But I'm like right on the cusp of Pisces. So
Speaker 2: I feel like I have all that like emo Pisces
Speaker 2: in me. Okay, right, I'm just like my sister and
Speaker 2: I talk about all the time because whenever I needed,
Speaker 2: like I call my sister about something going on in
Speaker 2: my life, She's like, do you want advice or do
Speaker 2: you just want me to listen? Because my sister is
Speaker 2: a cancer and I can I don't understand cancers to
Speaker 2: save my life. We have so many cancers in our
Speaker 2: life on the cast and and none of them are
Speaker 2: the same. But like my sister is like she always
Speaker 2: says she doesn't feel feelings, and I was like, well,
Speaker 2: I feel them enough for the both of us, right,
Speaker 2: you don't need to feel feelings. Maybe I got that comfort.
Speaker 2: So I cried one time because there was a Luke
Speaker 2: and I were in Colorado and on the ranch where
Speaker 2: my friend Rachel Ryan lives. Blah blah blah. Talked about
Speaker 2: it on my podcast The Ranch. But it's the most beautiful,
Speaker 2: like clear skies. You know, there's nothing around which is beauty,
Speaker 2: just like la. But one time we were looking and
Speaker 2: I was not on like mushrooms or anything. I wasn't
Speaker 2: even stoned, and We're looking at the sky and I
Speaker 2: saw this cloud that was like nowhere near all the
Speaker 2: other clouds. And I was like, that clouds so lonely,
Speaker 2: and I got so sad for that cloud. And I
Speaker 2: was like, it needs to like go with its friends.
Speaker 2: He's like, are you really fucking sad about a cloud?
Speaker 2: Right now?
Speaker 1: You know what, though, Kristen, I so relate to that,
Speaker 1: Like if I were to see that, I'd be like
Speaker 1: I'm that cloud, Like there's something about that cloud, like
Speaker 1: I'm identifying with it.
Speaker 2: Can you go to the movies alone, either of you?
Speaker 4: I can't, but Kyle can.
Speaker 1: He loves it.
Speaker 2: Oh, I think I don't even want to go to
Speaker 2: the movies with people. No can you? No?
Speaker 4: No, no, you can't enjoy it alone.
Speaker 2: I can't like just go to a restaurant alone if
Speaker 2: I have my computer with me and my dogs, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, I need to get out of the apartment.
Speaker 2: I just need to like be somewhere more open with sunshine,
Speaker 2: okay if I'm working. But I can't just like go
Speaker 2: enjoy a meal alone, Okay, I just I need to
Speaker 2: like connect with people.
Speaker 1: So is it more of it's not that you can't
Speaker 1: go by yourself, or is it like I just don't
Speaker 1: want to.
Speaker 2: I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I don't want to either.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, I'm like, yeah, capable, But how boring
Speaker 2: is that.
Speaker 3: Some people thrive I get what you're saying, though, some
Speaker 3: people thrive off that. When I used to like wait tables,
Speaker 3: there would be women who come in, they get their book,
Speaker 3: they have a glass of wine, they're sitting there.
Speaker 1: They sit there for Oh honey, when I was a drinker,
Speaker 1: I don't even need anybody because I'm seeing double of everything.
Speaker 4: Some people drive.
Speaker 2: What I drink. The last thing I want to do
Speaker 2: is go drink alone somewhere like the point for me
Speaker 2: of like having a glass of wine. It's like a moment,
Speaker 2: it's an experience. It's like sharing. Totally.
Speaker 1: I get what you mean camaraderie, Yes, totally, I completely
Speaker 1: get it. But I realized the first time that you
Speaker 1: were as sensitive as you are, which now I know
Speaker 1: I got a baby, my friend. The first time was
Speaker 1: when Andy Cohen asked me who would you trust the
Speaker 1: least with watching your kid? Now, let me be very
Speaker 1: very clear my cast, even though I don't connect with
Speaker 1: all of them, like, I believe that if I were
Speaker 1: to leave my daughter with a person on the cast,
Speaker 1: she would be very well taken care of, especially Kristin Doty,
Speaker 1: because you're great with children. I know that she would
Speaker 1: not only be loved, I know she'd be fed, and
Speaker 1: I know she'd have a fucking fun time. All right.
Speaker 1: But for me, it was like a lighthearted question, right,
Speaker 1: and when I think of Chris and Dotie and I
Speaker 1: love her so much, she is the carwashman.
Speaker 2: You know that was the inflatable ones.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I thought I was making a lighthearted joke
Speaker 1: about it, and I hurt your feelings. And I've apologized
Speaker 1: to you, but I want to tell you I'm so
Speaker 1: sorry that I hurt your feelings. Sometimes I'm sensitive, I know,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna baby you more.
Speaker 2: I cried. I was like, oh, why would she say that?
Speaker 2: Like now, and I'm the oldest girl and I don't
Speaker 2: have a baby yet, and now everyone's gonna think that
Speaker 2: I'd make a bad mom.
Speaker 1: That was by the way, if it was Oprah who
Speaker 1: was asking me that question, I wouldn't have said that.
Speaker 1: But it was like, yeah, Andy Cohen, the shows like
Speaker 1: it makes light of the chaos. So I'm sorry that
Speaker 1: I did.
Speaker 2: That was like, you could have said, James Kennedy, do.
Speaker 1: You would you?
Speaker 3: I was gonna ask j would you if you had
Speaker 3: to leave ocean with James for five hours?
Speaker 2: Oh? I don't know.
Speaker 1: No, no, and not because I don't trust him. There's
Speaker 1: just so many things that could go wrong. You know,
Speaker 1: you leave a gate open, she could fall down the
Speaker 1: stairs if he smokes pot like and he lives a
Speaker 1: very fun single in the sense where he doesn't have
Speaker 1: children or a wife. But even if you're a great parent,
Speaker 1: like accidents happened, so I would I would just be nervous.
Speaker 2: I would like if ocean came to my apartment. I
Speaker 2: mean there's like nothing. I'm literally thinking, there's nothing sharp.
Speaker 2: I would Amazon immediately the outlet plug, cover things, and
Speaker 2: then just like bubble wrap some stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally, there you go. And you gotta be like.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be as a mom, like I want to
Speaker 2: be the mom that's like let them fall, let them
Speaker 2: experience it, like it's gonna be okay. But I literally
Speaker 2: feel like I'm gonna bubble wrap my entire house. You
Speaker 2: can just follow them around. Yeah.
Speaker 1: No. And by the way, compared to my friends, like
Speaker 1: they went all out when the kids were a certain age,
Speaker 1: Like now as they get a little bit older, things changed.
Speaker 1: You aren't worried about things that you may have.
Speaker 2: I was about to ask you that I been worried
Speaker 2: about because I obviously I have no notion since she
Speaker 2: was a teeny tiny toime. Yeah, newborn, But like when
Speaker 2: do you feel like it got easier, Like when you
Speaker 2: just went, oh, okay, I'm a mom, Now this is easy,
Speaker 2: Like she's developing, Like I don't have to be so
Speaker 2: freaked out all the time.
Speaker 1: Well, I remember the first time she bled, which I
Speaker 1: think you were there, Jackson Brittany's bow. I put her
Speaker 1: in like this little thing, you know, the circular thing
Speaker 1: where they can play with all the toys and like
Speaker 1: spin around. But she was so sure that she couldn't
Speaker 1: touch the bottom, and so Bo, being this sweet person
Speaker 1: that he is, he put books so that she could,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: Touch like stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, boost, But when she was moving, she was her
Speaker 1: little toes were getting like paper cuts. And I pick
Speaker 1: her up and I have blood on my hand and
Speaker 1: I lost my fucking well did you know where it
Speaker 1: was from? At first? When I looked at her foot,
Speaker 1: I put two and two together.
Speaker 2: But it's just the moment scarier.
Speaker 1: It's like, yes, she's gonna fall. Like the other day,
Speaker 1: I see her baby shirt go flying across the floor
Speaker 1: and I heard a thud, and I was like, clearly
Speaker 1: she fell. She bumped her lip on her teeth and
Speaker 1: she's bleeding, and it's like, okay, she's fine, but you
Speaker 1: don't worry about the little falls anymore. You worry about Okay,
Speaker 1: she can fall, but like if she falls down the stairs,
Speaker 1: not great. I'm not consider her to bump that gets scary.
Speaker 1: I don't even know how we got into that.
Speaker 2: I don't know, You're just going down the rabbit.
Speaker 1: Who I would trust my child with, I would just like.
Speaker 2: All the time.
Speaker 1: The other night, so I had like a little get
Speaker 1: together for my mom's birthday. Keep in mind, Kristen. Kristen
Speaker 1: sent a group text after Thanksgiving letting us know that
Speaker 1: Luke was sick and so my mom got the RONA, Okay,
Speaker 1: you said it.
Speaker 2: He had cod He's never had it before, and he
Speaker 2: was like, there's no I mean, this is like he
Speaker 2: has like an immune system that is like steel. And
Speaker 2: he's like, there's no way. And it was like a
Speaker 2: little scratchy throat and a lot of sneezing for two days.
Speaker 2: But my sister recently had it as well. In her
Speaker 2: symptoms for the second time, it was sneezing and I'm like,
Speaker 2: maybe you just need to take a test.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So he did, Yeah, and it was positive.
Speaker 3: He might be the last person I know that got it,
Speaker 3: because literally everyone I know got it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally he did.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So she tells me this and when we plan, well
Speaker 1: not we. When I put together my mom's little birthday
Speaker 1: get together, I didn't invite Kristen because I knew the
Speaker 1: vid was circling in her household. Right, So I get
Speaker 1: a text from her asking and then my heart hurt
Speaker 1: for you again because I was like, damn it.
Speaker 2: Now I know I'm staying off Instagram. All my friends
Speaker 2: are there, cele.
Speaker 1: Now I know, I just need to throw you in
Speaker 1: the text so you know you're invited, and then you
Speaker 1: get to decline on your own.
Speaker 2: I don't know what it is, yeah right, I don't
Speaker 2: know what it is. Maybe it's like the show the canceling,
Speaker 2: the something. I don't know that, like I've suddenly become
Speaker 2: this like why am I not included? Like you can
Speaker 2: get a manicure with other friends, but why am I
Speaker 2: not included in certain things?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Because I don't have a baby.
Speaker 3: Like, Oh, but that gets too That's that's a specific
Speaker 3: thing that happens a lot, especially in like small hometowns,
Speaker 3: hometowns I'm seeing even with my sister. You get to
Speaker 3: an age, your friends start having babies, your friends start
Speaker 3: getting married. All of a sudden, your friends stop inviting
Speaker 3: you places if you don't have a partner, or if
Speaker 3: you don't have a baby and likely I get that,
Speaker 3: or if you're not married even, and she's like, what
Speaker 3: the hell I mean, I don't really hang out with
Speaker 3: a ton of people.
Speaker 4: So I'm not finding that problem right now.
Speaker 3: But it gets to that age where I think that's
Speaker 3: a very big concern that happens.
Speaker 4: It seems to happen a little more with women.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so that's interesting that does happen.
Speaker 1: I don't really care about now. I do care if
Speaker 1: I'm going with like a group of people who don't
Speaker 1: have kids and I have Ocean, and again, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't have her every single day. So for me,
Speaker 1: it's like I have to be very selective. If I'm
Speaker 1: going to go do something, it better be like something
Speaker 1: that's worth going. It has to be like a birthday
Speaker 1: or like you're having You're getting a cake at your
Speaker 1: AA meeting. Then I can leave my mom with Ocean
Speaker 1: for a few hours. Otherwise, like my kid is coming.
Speaker 2: Yeah you So I have to ask all the time.
Speaker 1: Correct, So I have to ask my friends who don't
Speaker 1: have kids, like is it cool if o comes, because
Speaker 1: it does change the dynamic of things, like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be running around with dinner.
Speaker 2: Me because I'm like Jess, I don't hang out with that.
Speaker 3: People, do you feel though, But there's sometimes where especially
Speaker 3: visiting home, we're all to ask my friends to go
Speaker 3: out to dinner dinner, and if they say I'm gonna
Speaker 3: bring my baby and go.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, not tonight, does it change No?
Speaker 2: I don't, yeah, nor the But you're.
Speaker 1: Also extremely close with Brittany and her kid is with
Speaker 1: like they don't. I don't. They're like superheroes with Jackson Britany.
Speaker 1: They have not a one ounce of help just the
Speaker 1: two of them.
Speaker 4: Brittany's mom is not.
Speaker 2: She lives in Kentucky, Kentucky.
Speaker 4: You always forget that. I think everyone's mom.
Speaker 2: Only two people have ever babysat crews that are not Brittany,
Speaker 2: not family, And it was our manager Ryan a long
Speaker 2: time ago. Jackson Brittany had something they like absolutely had
Speaker 2: to go to. And Ryan has a daughter who's like,
Speaker 2: you know, like in elementary school now, and they were like, okay,
Speaker 2: we can do this for like two hours when Cruz
Speaker 2: was baby. And then maybe like a month ago I
Speaker 2: got to watch Cruise. You did, Yeah, how to go what?
Speaker 2: He literally locked himself in his baby jail with his
Speaker 2: ipadab like never came out baby jail what is baby
Speaker 2: the baby jail? Like it the gate, the plastic gate
Speaker 2: thing like the gray and white one that we all
Speaker 2: have toys, And yes I do. But literally, Jared lips
Speaker 2: Comb and I were like sitting there watching Dancing with
Speaker 2: the Stars. I'm like begging Cruise to be my friend,
Speaker 2: like begging him to play with me, and he is
Speaker 2: as interested as like a dead fly. He's just like
Speaker 2: he's like hey, He's like uh. He'll walk out just
Speaker 2: to be like I want water or I'd be like,
Speaker 2: do you want your bottle? You want this? You want
Speaker 2: a snack? Cool? And he would just take whatever I
Speaker 2: gave him and go right back into baby jail with
Speaker 2: his iPad in his blanky for like three hours. I'm
Speaker 2: like Cruise, like, do you want to play?
Speaker 1: Given his money as a kid to have Kristen Jonie
Speaker 1: and Jared lips.
Speaker 2: Be my babysitter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, now that's a fucking vibe.
Speaker 4: Cruise has no idea what he missed out on.
Speaker 2: No, but I had Brittany feel like every three seconds like,
Speaker 2: how's he doing? Is everything okay? I'm like Brittany, literally
Speaker 2: he will not play with me. He's doing great. He's
Speaker 2: so independent. Now Yeah, he just wants to watch his
Speaker 2: Mickey Mouse and like sip on his is like apple juice.
Speaker 1: Or No, you're a great aunt. Yeah, you're an amazing aunt.
Speaker 2: So Mary like this, Well, your mom mostly watches Ocean.
Speaker 2: Like when I went to Brittany and this is Brittany,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be there for two three hours max, right, Okay.
Speaker 2: I walk in. She has three bottles of milk in
Speaker 2: the fridge, two giant things of the lemonade that she
Speaker 2: mixes his water with. Okay, and then all these bottles
Speaker 2: of water. She's like, this is all here. I'm like, Brittany,
Speaker 2: you really think he's gonna drink like two gallons of
Speaker 2: lemonade and three bottles in the next two hours while
Speaker 2: you're gone.
Speaker 1: I don't know, how about I because you've washed Ocean
Speaker 1: a few times.
Speaker 2: Yes, you are over prepared.
Speaker 3: Yeah that you're like you're like to me because I
Speaker 3: used to nanny full time.
Speaker 4: I used to babysit. You're like a majority of the mothers.
Speaker 3: You're not too like this because I've babysat for women
Speaker 3: who are like and five thirty, you're gonna do this
Speaker 3: five forty five?
Speaker 4: That's on this happen seven exactly six.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're like her milk's in the fridge. She's just
Speaker 3: so easy though, And I'm like, do I heat it up?
Speaker 4: And You're like, you're fine, very very chill.
Speaker 1: You're chill.
Speaker 4: You're like her milk's and the freage. You're good. If
Speaker 4: I have a question, you know, I'm gonna call her.
Speaker 1: Text you if she starts punching you in your face,
Speaker 1: I mean she's tired. Yeah, I love this. This is
Speaker 1: we go on tangents on this podcast. But back to
Speaker 1: why you sometimes feel left out, and you were saying
Speaker 1: it could be because maybe you're not on the show anymore.
Speaker 1: Maybe that triggered you. Is that something that still triggers you?
Speaker 1: Can you watch the show?
Speaker 2: I don't know if I will this season. I feel
Speaker 2: like I can last year last season, I watched two episodes.
Speaker 2: One I watched with Katie. I went over Katie's how
Speaker 2: she was like dying my hair for me and was
Speaker 2: it the finale I think or something. And I watched
Speaker 2: like one other episode and that was it. I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm good, Like I want to watch to support my
Speaker 2: friends that are on it, but like I just it's fomo.
Speaker 2: You have fomo but then at the same time, it's
Speaker 2: kind of like a like back and fourth thing because
Speaker 2: at the same time when I did what I did
Speaker 2: see didn't feel like the show I was on, so
Speaker 2: then it didn't. It's completely different.
Speaker 1: It's a completely different show. Yeah, you know, you can't
Speaker 1: lose even though we're all friends, Like, let's just call
Speaker 1: it what it is. We lost like key fucking players, right,
Speaker 1: Like you brought something that will never be able to
Speaker 1: replace Jack's. We will never be able to replace all
Speaker 1: day winners, right, all all day yeah OG's from the job.
Speaker 1: Yeah right, So we did have to go into the show,
Speaker 1: and for me personally, I was like, I'm going to
Speaker 1: be grateful that we get a season nine, but I'm
Speaker 1: definitely not banking that we will continue. Like this is
Speaker 1: going to be most likely a farewell because the show
Speaker 1: just looks different, and I don't know that the people
Speaker 1: that are left if they're able to carry a fucking show,
Speaker 1: you know, because a lot of people that are left
Speaker 1: they want a kumbay yah to break it to you.
Speaker 1: These folks don't want to watch you Kumbai. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: because I am an avid reality TV watcher and the
Speaker 1: second I see someone who is Switzerland. I'm like, bitch,
Speaker 1: you're boring. You need to be right.
Speaker 2: I don't know, and I don't care. Don't fly right.
Speaker 2: It's exactly it just doesn't.
Speaker 1: So you won't watch this season because you feel triggered
Speaker 1: by it.
Speaker 2: A little bit? Yeah, I mean I feel like I'll
Speaker 2: know from like either you or Katie or someone like
Speaker 2: or even Sina, like, oh, I should watch that episode,
Speaker 2: you know, like Sena's wedding. I was there, but I
Speaker 2: missed a lot of it. So I'm like, I'd like
Speaker 2: to see like some of the stuff that I missed,
Speaker 2: or just certain moments I'll probably look at. But to
Speaker 2: like sit there and watch as a whole season, Hell no,
Speaker 2: I couldn't do it, you know what.
Speaker 1: I so appreciate your honesty. It's so refreshing to have
Speaker 1: someone say like, I'm bummed, it hurts I can't fight watch.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I'm not mad about it. I'm not like
Speaker 2: it's not all this anger anymore. And I'm not like, oh,
Speaker 2: fuck that show I got canceled. Fuck you know no,
Speaker 2: I'm like, I hope my friends still have a job
Speaker 2: next year. I hope that they can find a way
Speaker 2: to shift this. I mean obviously. What I've really hope
Speaker 2: is that vandr Pupkints canceled, we all have a brand
Speaker 2: new show together one day and we go back to
Speaker 2: being one big, happy family that fights butsfunctional family for
Speaker 2: the time being. I want you guys to all thrive
Speaker 2: and succeed and push your brands and everything that you're
Speaker 2: working on and using the show as a platform, because
Speaker 2: that's what this shit is all about. We didn't do
Speaker 2: this for shits and giggles. You know, you don't do
Speaker 2: that show because it's a great fucking time, you know, like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you get to hang out with your friends while filming
Speaker 2: and entertaining people, because that's what we're all really good at.
Speaker 2: At the end of the day.
Speaker 1: Well, we none of us moved out to LA to
Speaker 1: be on a reality TV show.
Speaker 2: We did not.
Speaker 3: But off of that, would you are you still open
Speaker 3: to to reality TV if there was an Okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1: There will be a point in time where we're all
Speaker 1: old and watching our grandkids run around, or you know,
Speaker 1: have twelve dogs in our fabulous homes and you're sipping martinis.
Speaker 1: And I don't think I'll be sipping martini at that
Speaker 1: point in time. But maybe some perier where we do
Speaker 1: get to look back and we're gonna forget about all
Speaker 1: the other shit and go.
Speaker 2: We were on fucking TV. Yeah, what a time in
Speaker 2: our lives and we have this like video memory book.
Speaker 1: Yes, not always one that I want to.
Speaker 2: Know, minus all the falls, the drunk and crying, shitty moments,
Speaker 2: all pushing me.
Speaker 1: What a weird time in my life? You know that's
Speaker 1: what That fucking drunk What was that?
Speaker 2: No, it's just like so not you. It was like
Speaker 2: this hard. It was a hard outer cover to protect
Speaker 2: the sweet pea that lives within.
Speaker 1: I've never been in a physical fight. That's why when
Speaker 1: I pushed her, I was like did I just don't
Speaker 1: and I ran, I ran, I was like, I've got
Speaker 1: to get out of here before well she you not hidden?
Speaker 1: Because I don't know.
Speaker 4: I need to rewatch.
Speaker 2: What is this? What season?
Speaker 3: Did you push her?
Speaker 2: Second?
Speaker 1: For the very last episode, ka.
Speaker 2: And Tom's engaged. Right after Katie and Tom's engagement.
Speaker 1: They get engaged Jessica and we're at Lisa Vannerbump's house
Speaker 1: with Tom and Katie's family like grandparents, and Kristen and
Speaker 1: Stossy are giving a very heartfelt speech to that friends,
Speaker 1: they doesn't matter. Harvelt speech to their two friends who
Speaker 1: are now engaged who they've known forever. And my drunk ass, us,
Speaker 1: my drunk ass, can you wrap it up? What the
Speaker 1: fuck are you talking about? I've watched of everybody?
Speaker 4: Can you wrap it up?
Speaker 2: With? Like the finger curling in the air?
Speaker 1: And then because me again, I'm like, and then cameras
Speaker 1: shut down for us to now go film at sir.
Speaker 1: And I see a black car and I'm broke as
Speaker 1: a motherfucker, right. I see a black car roll up
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm getting in it. This car
Speaker 1: has taking me to sir. And the guy says, are
Speaker 1: you Chris and Dody? And I go, yep, I get in.
Speaker 1: This bitch flies around. No, it was mortified you made
Speaker 1: me get out, and I was like, all right, I
Speaker 1: don't remember all We were all having a pretty fun
Speaker 1: time at vander Pump's house, but it was just like
Speaker 1: those moments. I know that we've I obviously have not
Speaker 1: been through what you've been through, but I hope that
Speaker 1: at some point in time we can look back. Because
Speaker 1: I can't even watch old episodes like I cringe and
Speaker 1: I feel very disgusted.
Speaker 4: Really do you watch old episodes?
Speaker 1: No, okay, no, no, I'll watch og of everyone else,
Speaker 1: I'll watch I'll watch old vander Pump episodes before I
Speaker 1: was on. I started that during COVID and I'm like,
Speaker 1: this show is gold, but to watch myself. No, we're
Speaker 1: gonna need a lot of.
Speaker 2: Years, a messy, messy, messy, messy messy.
Speaker 1: You know what's so strange is people like Dody and I.
Speaker 1: There's no in between. You've got the rider dies or
Speaker 1: people who want to light us on five. Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's no like she stays just nice. She's cool, like
Speaker 2: not at all. It's it's yeah. I kind of like
Speaker 2: that though, I do too, because for what I am.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm not great, which is why we make
Speaker 1: great reality TV people, because you can't be great. You
Speaker 1: got to be black or white. You know, you got
Speaker 1: to have an opinion, which when you guys were no
Speaker 1: longer on the show, I felt like I had to
Speaker 1: put all your guys's hats on. I was like, I
Speaker 1: gotta bring Kristen Dody, I gotta pay homage to Jack's
Speaker 1: and be the bone collector and carrier, you know.
Speaker 2: And you really did kind of take the role of
Speaker 2: the me of like, wait, so you guys are fighting
Speaker 2: about what, let me insert myself to like have the
Speaker 2: true conversation because clearly you're not having that.
Speaker 4: Conversation like a media that's how not me.
Speaker 2: Now, it was like Tom and Katy are fighting, and
Speaker 2: Tom Katy don't want to talk about why they're fighting.
Speaker 2: So Kristen is going to insert herself in the middle
Speaker 2: of their marriage or relationship and just iron out all
Speaker 2: the wrinkles.
Speaker 1: Right because even though like we all want to coom
Speaker 1: buy a, this is a fucking TV show, so let's
Speaker 1: get it popp in.
Speaker 3: And from a from an outsider looking in, there is
Speaker 3: something very special and was something very special. It still
Speaker 3: is about that group of people about all of you sees.
Speaker 4: I'd say it was I guess season eight, season seven.
Speaker 4: That's a special group.
Speaker 3: There's like, you know, the reality TV producers, there's always
Speaker 3: like they're like, we need the magic, we need this,
Speaker 3: and that's what you might have. I mean, if I
Speaker 3: was a you know, genius reality TV producer, I would
Speaker 3: take that same group and go make something else, like
Speaker 3: you said, because there's something magic about that about your
Speaker 3: st Yeah.
Speaker 1: So now you're in this new we'll call it new
Speaker 1: season of life and you.
Speaker 2: Have a Luke? What is a luke? A luke? I
Speaker 2: would like a luke? Yeah, it. Luke's great. You've met him,
Speaker 2: You've spent time with him. He's great with ocean Luke.
Speaker 2: You know, it just sort of fell into my lap
Speaker 2: after my last breakup. We I talked about this on
Speaker 2: my first episode of my podcast, like we met or
Speaker 2: we became friends. At my girlfriend's wedding, we walked down
Speaker 2: the aisle together as like bridesmaid groomsman.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, yeah, it's like a movie.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I basically once I was able to get
Speaker 2: off my phone and stop worrying about life in Los
Speaker 2: Angeles over that weekend in Colorado, but my phone was
Speaker 2: actually taken away from me, which is the best thing
Speaker 2: that could have happened.
Speaker 1: Who took your phone from you?
Speaker 2: Two of my friends and they're like you'll never know
Speaker 2: who has it but one of us, And I'm like,
Speaker 2: you know, what, what do I need it for? Like
Speaker 2: if there's an emergency, my mom knows who to call,
Speaker 2: Like that's all that matters right now. And then I
Speaker 2: made Luke essentially like my handler for the weekend, and like,
Speaker 2: so you're my groomsman, and you are going to just
Speaker 2: make sure that I have my ship together because you're kind,
Speaker 2: don't Yeah, And then we had sex behind a tent
Speaker 2: and it was great at the wedding.
Speaker 1: At the wedding.
Speaker 2: On the ranch, the first time, she says she.
Speaker 1: Standing up you like pushed up against like a wall
Speaker 1: or something.
Speaker 2: It was like behind a tent.
Speaker 1: So were you like bent over yeah, yeehaw, dog y style.
Speaker 2: Well, we were like in our outfits. Like he was like, oh,
Speaker 2: do you want to come grab the dogs? I'm super
Speaker 2: like emotional, like where are the dogs at the wedding?
Speaker 2: Parts over? The kids are gone? Can we bring the
Speaker 2: dogs to the reception? Like you know, six dogs on
Speaker 2: the ranch. So he's like, okay, let's go get the dogs.
Speaker 2: And then Jill there kissed me. Jill was there killed
Speaker 2: the German shepherd and then he kissed me and he said,
Speaker 2: you know, he's like I didn't think he would escalate
Speaker 2: that quickly. I was like, coud, you don't know me
Speaker 2: that well.
Speaker 1: Can you do the splits? Can I what did I
Speaker 1: know for a Can she do the splits? Split anyone
Speaker 1: anyone who can do splits? I know you're a bag
Speaker 1: of fun in bed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was a cheerleader and I'm still flexible. I'm
Speaker 2: like Tom Schwartz, but like a little like Tom Schwartz's body,
Speaker 2: but just like I move a lot more. You know
Speaker 2: what I mean?
Speaker 4: Is Tom Schwartz flexible?
Speaker 1: Is this what?
Speaker 2: Able? Long and lanky?
Speaker 4: Like the model bodies? That's what I call it. The
Speaker 4: long lanky. It's like my sister.
Speaker 2: It's like not really in control of it with like
Speaker 2: not great posture.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but the way your body is dody, like when
Speaker 1: you have like a little tank top on without a bra.
Speaker 1: Like the way your boobs sit, it's like very sexy.
Speaker 2: I hope it stays that way.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: Like if I start curving my shoulders, I have shoulder
Speaker 1: blades that look like wings.
Speaker 2: Yeah they do.
Speaker 1: I love it, So I have to like push back
Speaker 1: or else I'm just gonna look kind of like gollum.
Speaker 2: I think it's so chic and like cute. It. I
Speaker 2: really like it.
Speaker 1: But you also liked my alf ear.
Speaker 2: That is true, And I know I I was so
Speaker 2: mad at her and she was going to pin her
Speaker 2: ears and you were and I'm like, don't do it.
Speaker 2: I love your ears.
Speaker 4: What do you think now?
Speaker 2: I mean, she's hot always, so I.
Speaker 1: Love you so much.
Speaker 4: Does Luke co host the podcast? Yeah, here's one thing.
Speaker 4: So your podcast, what's your podcast?
Speaker 2: All about sex and love and relationships and dating and
Speaker 2: just a really unfiltered, really raw like for me, it was,
Speaker 2: It's my favorite thing to talk about. Obviously, I wrote
Speaker 2: my book He's Making You Crazy, And I don't want
Speaker 2: to be pigeonholed sort of into that, oh hack your
Speaker 2: boyfriend's phone like I'm thirty nine now, like I've grown. However,
Speaker 2: I still am just so fascinated by the psychology behind
Speaker 2: why people make the decisions that they make, the choices
Speaker 2: that they make in their relationships. How open are people
Speaker 2: to talking about sex and the people that aren't, Because
Speaker 2: I firmly stand by if you can't talk about sex,
Speaker 2: you shouldn't having it. You should And I don't mean
Speaker 2: public wow, I don't mean you have to like air
Speaker 2: your laundry to everybody. But I just think if you
Speaker 2: can't communicate with your partner, like what you want, what
Speaker 2: you like, what you don't like, why why can't you
Speaker 2: just be honest about all that? It's such an intimate
Speaker 2: act to be, you know, intimate and.
Speaker 1: Have you always felt that way or is it has
Speaker 1: it been as you've gotten older, Because.
Speaker 2: As I've gotten older, for sure, I've always been pretty
Speaker 2: open about it, but just not like.
Speaker 1: Did you think did you think about sex as an
Speaker 1: intimate moment, because as I've gotten older.
Speaker 2: When I was younger, I did that. No, it was
Speaker 2: like it was for fun, yeah, right, one night's stand.
Speaker 2: Nobody now even now though, like when I especially like
Speaker 2: after my last relationship and being single, and like it
Speaker 2: is fine for me to sleep with people on a
Speaker 2: first date. I can do whatever the hell I want to.
Speaker 2: Does it make me a slut? It doesn't? Like, why
Speaker 2: are dudes allowed to do it and we're not. It's
Speaker 2: like that hympathy or slutshaming, which, by the way, well
Speaker 2: that's my body. And if I want to do it,
Speaker 2: then I will, and if I don't want too, then
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: I love that you have a podcast that is talking
Speaker 1: about that, because as much as we sit here and go,
Speaker 1: women have moved leaps and bounds and like we can
Speaker 1: do what men do.
Speaker 2: No we can't.
Speaker 1: Right, I go out and I talk about sex and
Speaker 1: what would your daughter think? What would my daughter think
Speaker 1: about me having consensual sex? And me talking about it.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I hope she'd feel empowered. That's what
Speaker 1: I hope she would.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, like just being open and honest and vulnerable.
Speaker 2: And I just think it's so fucking interesting and like
Speaker 2: having Luke on respect because Luke, it was just when
Speaker 2: we became friends and he obviously doesn't live in California.
Speaker 2: We were We just started talking on the phone for
Speaker 2: like hours and hours and hours a day, and I
Speaker 2: don't even know the moment that it happened where we
Speaker 2: were talking about our own relationships, but like his past
Speaker 2: relationships and in full fucking detail and breaking down the
Speaker 2: psychology of everything, and like why he was emotionally unavailable
Speaker 2: when he was younger.
Speaker 1: Why how old is he?
Speaker 2: He's thirty one, he's still young, but like he's really
Speaker 2: able to say, like, oh, yeah, I had this one
Speaker 2: girlfriend who's on and off for four years, and essentially
Speaker 2: he's like at times, I was just kind of using her.
Speaker 2: I knew she was in love with me, but she
Speaker 2: helped me with my business, she helped me watch my dogs.
Speaker 2: She's really hot. We had great sex, and I basically
Speaker 2: used her. And for a man to like admit that
Speaker 2: he's not proud of it, but just yeah, that's what
Speaker 2: I did, and now I'm I'm aware of that, and
Speaker 2: I wouldn't treat someone like that again because I'm like,
Speaker 2: you can't call your ex crazy when that's what you
Speaker 2: were doing, not saying she's not crazy. I don't know
Speaker 2: the girl, I don't know any of these people, but
Speaker 2: you have to take into consideration the position you were
Speaker 2: putting her in totally. So that's why I'm like, you
Speaker 2: know what, I really need you on this podcast because
Speaker 2: I want to like paint these scenarios that we've gone
Speaker 2: through separately together or other people have been through, and
Speaker 2: then start bouncing off of each other because we share
Speaker 2: very similar points of view and like morals and ethics,
Speaker 2: but we have very different opinions about.
Speaker 1: Or you're you're a woman, he's a man. Yeah, you're
Speaker 1: going to have completely and he may be able to
Speaker 1: shed light correct because I will never pretend like we
Speaker 1: had Mike Johnson on the podcast and he's a sex coach.
Speaker 1: He was on the Bachelorette, but I was telling him
Speaker 1: what I crave in a relationship is transparency and consistency.
Speaker 1: So if you are going to be in and out,
Speaker 1: be in and out consistently. Okay, don't expect anything from me,
Speaker 1: because I've now created the boundary. You have been transparent
Speaker 1: letting me know you're going to pop in and out,
Speaker 1: and we're just fucking guess what. Great, I know what
Speaker 1: to expect exactly. But when you come into my space
Speaker 1: and you start trying to win over my heart and
Speaker 1: have me let my guard down, and then you expect
Speaker 1: me to flip the switch when you're ready to just
Speaker 1: have it be a fuck, I can't go there.
Speaker 2: No, hell no. It's like Luke and I've talked about
Speaker 2: the difference between ghosting or like leaving someone unread is
Speaker 2: what he calls it. If it's like I talked about
Speaker 2: this guy that I dated or not dated, but it
Speaker 2: like I was hooking up with or tried to hook
Speaker 2: up with whatever, and I'm like yeah, and then this
Speaker 2: guy was like all up my ass for like this
Speaker 2: many days and then flaked on me when we were
Speaker 2: supposed to hang out and then just like stop texting
Speaker 2: me back. And Luke's like, no, that's not really ghosting, though,
Speaker 2: it's like leaving you on red. And now I'm learning
Speaker 2: about this thing called bread crumbing, which is kind of
Speaker 2: what you're talking about. Okay, what is that where it's
Speaker 2: like I'm going to leave you these little crumbs, this
Speaker 2: little trail. I'm gonna give you everything you want and
Speaker 2: then I'm gonna flip this. Yeah, it's just like, oh
Speaker 2: now I'm not around anymore. Like, no, that doesn't fucking
Speaker 2: work for me. Just call a spade a spade, say
Speaker 2: it is what it is. If you just want to
Speaker 2: sleep together or like hang out casually, then just say that.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm thirty nine fucking years old.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. And back in
Speaker 1: the day, I remember my friends would come to me,
Speaker 1: or I would not so much because that movie. He's
Speaker 1: just not that into you really resonating with me. So
Speaker 1: it back in the day, my friends would come to
Speaker 1: me and they'd say, he's not texting me back. I
Speaker 1: don't understand. And I was like, that's he doesn't need
Speaker 1: to tell you he's not interested. He is telling you
Speaker 1: he's not interested. But as I get older, I don't
Speaker 1: have time for that. You can't reel me in and
Speaker 1: then ghost because I'm a grown up and a mother
Speaker 1: and I need this thing called closure because I'm a
Speaker 1: communicator and I find that everything wrong in the world
Speaker 1: is because there's no community communication. There's no communication, and
Speaker 1: there's also no like we may not agree, but like
Speaker 1: we gotta respect. I respect that you're not interested anymore, right,
Speaker 1: but just like lay it out for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just be fucking honest and let's just move on
Speaker 2: and stop wasting precious time that we have on this
Speaker 2: goddamn earth.
Speaker 1: Right, because then I'm sitting here and I'm making up
Speaker 1: a fucking.
Speaker 2: Story in my head that's the story of my life.
Speaker 2: And I say it went all the time, because when
Speaker 2: you don't have answers to questions that you were asking bluntly, honestly, truly, vulnerably,
Speaker 2: you have no choice but to start making up these
Speaker 2: scenarios in your head that are probably so far from
Speaker 2: the truth totally. And then that's viral. And that's based
Speaker 2: on everything that you've gone through with your past people
Speaker 2: when you grew up like you, that is what you
Speaker 2: are conditioned to believe at this point. So guys, stop
Speaker 2: fucking around, Just be honest, Just be honest.
Speaker 1: And I would almost rather be alone forever then have
Speaker 1: someone come into my world who breadcrumbs me or is dishonoring.
Speaker 2: This tug of war with yours.
Speaker 1: Leave me alone, Like, I'm good on my own, dude,
Speaker 1: I don't need you to come in and give me anything.
Speaker 1: In fact, you're just like adding a lot of chaos
Speaker 1: into my.
Speaker 2: Life, chaos and stress and just unneeded bullshit. Like the
Speaker 2: way to my vagina is through my heart. Be a
Speaker 2: good dude, and like you're gonna get laid. Just be
Speaker 2: a good dude.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I'm in the season. Vagina is my heart. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I ain't passing this good good around and just anybody.
Speaker 1: All right, there may be a new season where that
Speaker 1: is offered, but right now.
Speaker 2: Right, but that's but that's up to you.
Speaker 1: Yes, do you still consider yourself single? Or like, what
Speaker 1: what is happening with your co host? Is he just
Speaker 1: a co host?
Speaker 2: We haven't are I haven't talked about this in my
Speaker 2: Vagina co hosting.
Speaker 1: Okay, they're also we're all okay, so you're in a
Speaker 1: co hosting relationship.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we haven't, Like I haven't. We literally haven't
Speaker 2: talked about this on the podcast yet. We've talked about
Speaker 2: sleeping together and all of that, but but relationship, yeah,
Speaker 2: we haven't. We have there's no label. But he's like
Speaker 2: okay with that?
Speaker 1: Are you okay with that too?
Speaker 2: It's my choice, okay, but like we're dating, Yeah.
Speaker 1: I love that. So you haven't even ventured into conversations
Speaker 1: about you don't live here, what's the game?
Speaker 2: No, But he just it's like he knows, I'm not
Speaker 2: sleeping with anyone else. I'm not going on dates with
Speaker 2: anyone else. So essentially I think it is what it is.
Speaker 2: But but he's fine with the fact that I haven't
Speaker 2: been quite ready to say, like I'm checking the box.
Speaker 2: You're my boyfriend like this.
Speaker 1: It's so strange because you talking about it, you're very
Speaker 1: much from an outside perspective in a relationship. But just
Speaker 1: that little conversation about the label really does change everything.
Speaker 2: It does for me because like the last relationship I
Speaker 2: was in, the last two relationships I was in, I
Speaker 2: was like, this is my person. Well, I'll say with Carter,
Speaker 2: I was like, this is my person forever, forever, forever, right,
Speaker 2: And I stand by that. I think if Carter and
Speaker 2: I didn't have the issues that we had, which were
Speaker 2: all aired on the show, I think we could have
Speaker 2: been something really great. That's the way that the world
Speaker 2: took us. I still have a lot of love, a
Speaker 2: lot of respect for him. He's in a happy relationship,
Speaker 2: we're friends. Then when I started dating my ex boyfriend,
Speaker 2: I put all of my eggs into that fucking basket.
Speaker 2: And in hindsight, I mean, I cared about it, and
Speaker 2: I'm not going to be a dick and say like
Speaker 2: fuck him, I never loved him or something. But in hindsight,
Speaker 2: it really was like I saw a goal and I
Speaker 2: wanted to achieve that goal, and that goal was I'm
Speaker 2: getting married, having a baby. I'm too old for this shit,
Speaker 2: selling my house and moving into his house. Like let
Speaker 2: you know, I quit smoking, thank god. But like that
Speaker 2: was really in the moment. It was more of a
Speaker 2: I need to please him, to prove to him that
Speaker 2: I'm ready to get pregnant, and I'm really glad that
Speaker 2: I did it for me at the end of the day.
Speaker 2: But it was just like, no matter all the fighting
Speaker 2: that he and I went through and all of the
Speaker 2: chaos and all the bullshit, I just kept going, It's okay,
Speaker 2: We're gonna be okay. Once we get pregnant, once we
Speaker 2: get married, everything's going to be okay. I'm going to
Speaker 2: be the person he wants me to be. And that
Speaker 2: was like a huge fucking mistake. So I'm very grateful
Speaker 2: that he broke up with me. I have to be,
Speaker 2: because it was like when I dated Tom Sandobal, even
Speaker 2: though I was really young, I would have stayed in
Speaker 2: that till the bitter fucking end, even though we were miserable.
Speaker 1: Do you think that was my misery?
Speaker 2: I think at times I have been and I think
Speaker 2: I'm finally like I've found my zenet and yeah, and
Speaker 2: like I when Luke and I became good friends, and
Speaker 2: just realizing like there is there are men out there
Speaker 2: who are not assholes.
Speaker 1: Who are normal, who are going to create like a
Speaker 1: safe space for you be your best right.
Speaker 2: And not to say that Luke and I have never
Speaker 2: gotten in an argument or like whatever before, because we have,
Speaker 2: and we've been on road trips together sixteen hours where
Speaker 2: we've ruffled each other's feathers. But just because one of
Speaker 2: us pops off, it doesn't mean like shit hit the fan,
Speaker 2: it's the end of the world for the rest of
Speaker 2: the day. Now we're going to fight for three days.
Speaker 2: It's like, take a breath, let's talk it out. Why
Speaker 2: did we have that moment? Apologize and move the fuck on.
Speaker 2: And it's an.
Speaker 1: Adult it's an adult relationship.
Speaker 2: It is so relaxing. It's like the elephant, and I
Speaker 2: just feel protected. I feel safe. I feel like my
Speaker 2: best interests are looked out for. I love all of it.
Speaker 2: And he's very patient and he knows that he knows
Speaker 2: all the shit. Like what is the Marilyn Monroe quote, like,
Speaker 2: you don't if you can't handle me at my worst,
Speaker 2: you don't deserve me at my best. Absolutely, And I'm
Speaker 2: not one to be like, here's all my trauma, now
Speaker 2: you take that baggage. However, I am one to say
Speaker 2: there's a lot of shit you might find out about
Speaker 2: me based on the job that I used to have.
Speaker 2: So let me just lay it out for you. And
Speaker 2: if you want to run, run now.
Speaker 1: Well, he I feel like anybody who is with you,
Speaker 1: you me, any woman. I don't need to lay my
Speaker 1: baggage out and my trauma for you. As the relationship
Speaker 1: goes on, you're gonna see it right like, you're gonna
Speaker 1: we're gonna we're gonna have fights, we're gonna do all
Speaker 1: of these little things where I'm triggered, and you're gonna know, Okay,
Speaker 1: that is a trauma for her right, so.
Speaker 2: But exactly, but like he's he gets that and he's
Speaker 2: okay with that, just as like a normal human being
Speaker 2: should be as long as you going back to what
Speaker 2: you said, huge moment, have communication, as long as you
Speaker 2: can fucking talk about it, break it down, set boundaries
Speaker 2: like he's you know, like you always words are hard,
Speaker 2: take out the things on you, take things out on
Speaker 2: the people that are closest to you. That is just
Speaker 2: like a fact, right, It shouldn't really be that way,
Speaker 2: but it's the person that you feel the most connected
Speaker 2: with that you can complain shit, complain about shit too,
Speaker 2: And I think that in a healthy relationship. What I'm
Speaker 2: learning is that that is okay and it should feel
Speaker 2: safe and okay. But also then you kind of like
Speaker 2: I don't want to do that to him all the time.
Speaker 2: I now catch myself like taking a breath and going,
Speaker 2: do I really need to call him to tell him
Speaker 2: about this bullshit that happened to me the day, just
Speaker 2: to like rain on his parade.
Speaker 1: I'm going through the same thing right now where I'm
Speaker 1: literally stopping myself from like calling people to tell them
Speaker 1: about things, And I'm like, am I just giving this
Speaker 1: more life than it even means right, it's very intense.
Speaker 1: I'm actual really proud of us. Yeah, wow, it's all good.
Speaker 1: I know that we're all in this together.
Speaker 3: Man.
Speaker 2: Yes, we're evolving every day.
Speaker 1: I dig it. And I'm so happy that you came
Speaker 1: on my podcast.
Speaker 2: Here is the first time.
Speaker 1: It's the first time, and I'm I love it though,
Speaker 1: because your podcast it really is great. I've listened. I
Speaker 1: love the name. I love you have a very good voice.
Speaker 1: Not everyone is meant to put their voice onto a
Speaker 1: mic and directly into the ears. So good on you
Speaker 1: for that. Where can people listen to your podcast?
Speaker 2: You can listen to it anywhere that you listen to
Speaker 2: your podcasts, Spotify, Amazon, Apple, et cetera, et cetera. Sex, love,
Speaker 2: and what else matters.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you with.
Speaker 2: You and you need to come on mind you tell.
Speaker 1: Me you you tell me when boo boo.
Speaker 2: I love you because I love my favorite thing about
Speaker 2: not my favorite thing about you, just everything else. But
Speaker 2: I love Justice Instagram and how she trolls her boyfriend
Speaker 2: and it just gives me so much life and that
Speaker 2: that that is so important in relationships too, is like
Speaker 2: trolling your significant other and like having that laugh and
Speaker 2: like that, like harmonious, like well play.
Speaker 3: I'm it's like I will say, I think a lot
Speaker 3: of people don't have the playfulness or they get to
Speaker 3: like a seriousness or like a we're adult, we're not
Speaker 3: going to act this way.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, I'm gonna be like this forever. He'll
Speaker 4: be like this forever.
Speaker 1: I'm envious in the best way possible, Yes, of your
Speaker 1: relationship with Kyle. And when you tell me you're like
Speaker 1: going home or you're to and Kyle's doing this, that
Speaker 1: and the other. You're making dinner, you're having Christmas wherever,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I want to be there. It just seems
Speaker 1: like good vibes.
Speaker 4: Well, either of you are more than welcome.
Speaker 2: When she bought the furniture and Kyle is like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, ess I died bought this patio furniture. And
Speaker 2: she's like, for our kind of small patio, which isn't
Speaker 2: mine's like half that size in my apartment now. But
Speaker 2: he was like, it's not gonna fit. It's not gonna fit.
Speaker 2: And she's like, well, if we just move it over
Speaker 2: a little bit this way now, the door shuts and
Speaker 2: it's just everything, just watching them just like at each
Speaker 2: other in like the cutest way possible. I'm like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, there's love stone in this world.
Speaker 1: I know anything is possible. Thank you. I love you
Speaker 1: guys so much. What a great episode And I love
Speaker 1: you guys so much. Thank you for listening to another
Speaker 1: episode of the Keep Them La La podcast. I will
Speaker 1: catch you next a week next week.