Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central then sitting in a slow
Speaker 1: did you think you mean? Speak you do? Would you
Speaker 1: hate see Handling? Hello, everybody, Welcome to the Daily Show.
Speaker 1: I'm Chelsea Handler. This is where I get to spend
Speaker 1: a week talking shit about all the whack jobs and
Speaker 1: hot messes out there. But I do it sitting behind
Speaker 1: a desk because I'm a professional. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: exciting news that transpired over the weekend, and I'm also
Speaker 1: on ecstasy. So let's get this party started. Okay, Let's
Speaker 1: kick things off with the big story that burst into
Speaker 1: the news over the weekend. Someone in China had a
Speaker 1: big birthday party and lost one of their balloons. Another
Speaker 1: major story this morning the ongoing drama surrounding that Chinese
Speaker 1: spy balloon shot down off the South Carolina coast this
Speaker 1: weekend as Navy divers search for debris. This video shows
Speaker 1: what appears to be part of the balloon being brought
Speaker 1: back to shore Sunday. The balloon, with a payload the
Speaker 1: size of three buses, first entered US airspace over the
Speaker 1: Aleutian Islands last Tuesday. It moved to Canada, re entering
Speaker 1: US air space over Idah Once the balloon reached the
Speaker 1: Atlantic coast, it was shot down with a single sidewinder
Speaker 1: missile from an F twenty two fighter jet. Order the
Speaker 1: Pentagon to shoot it down on Wednesday as soon as possible.
Speaker 1: They decided that the best time you do that was
Speaker 1: got over water. Wow, Joe Biden really likes giving that announcement.
Speaker 1: He hopped off his big, strong plane and he walked
Speaker 1: over with his Aviator sunglasses, looking like a real tough
Speaker 1: guy popping a balloon, giving off some serious top gun
Speaker 1: Maverick vibes the straight kind. Honestly, though, poor Joe Biden
Speaker 1: Obama got to order the assassination of Bin Lauden or
Speaker 1: all he gets to do is murder a bag of helium.
Speaker 1: And as you heard, this balloon was the size of
Speaker 1: three busses. I love measuring things and busses. And for
Speaker 1: the rich people out there who don't know what a
Speaker 1: bus is, they're those big yellow vehicles that bring Matt
Speaker 1: Gates's girlfriends to school. So the balloon went over Alaska,
Speaker 1: and then it went through Canada and then into US airspace.
Speaker 1: And by the way, Canada, thanks for the heads up
Speaker 1: on that. Canada saw the balloon and They were like, oh,
Speaker 1: look one of those Chinese lanterns. And I hope that
Speaker 1: balloon wasn'tspiring on Canada because there is nothing suspicious going
Speaker 1: on there. Unless you want aerial shots of moose getting
Speaker 1: each other from behind, you can move on. And as usual,
Speaker 1: America went haywire and brought out way too much firepower
Speaker 1: to address this problem. They brought two fighter jets and
Speaker 1: shot a missile through a balloon. Was that really necessary?
Speaker 1: Couldn't we have just hired another hot air balloon to
Speaker 1: float by and shoot it with a bat begun or
Speaker 1: just waited for it to get stuck in a ceiling fan.
Speaker 1: Do we really need the fighter jets to turn this
Speaker 1: thing into the world's saddest used condom? But hey, why
Speaker 1: not shoot it? When you have a trillion dollar defense
Speaker 1: budget and all these rock hard missiles lying around. Trump
Speaker 1: must be so jealous. What I don't get is why
Speaker 1: does China even need to send this balloon in the
Speaker 1: first place. They're already spying on us with TikTok? Is
Speaker 1: it possible that the Chinese spies became the first people
Speaker 1: ever to get sick of TikTok? Were they, like I
Speaker 1: swear to God, if I see one more basic, bitch,
Speaker 1: make a lasagna and a slow cooker. And by the way, China,
Speaker 1: if you're listening, which you obviously are, next time, why
Speaker 1: don't you make your balloon the color blue so we
Speaker 1: can't see it in the sky, or if you're gonna
Speaker 1: make it white, at least right the moon on it.
Speaker 1: No one here will know the difference. I certainly won't.
Speaker 1: An other exciting news, Marjorie Taylor Green a k a.
Speaker 1: Capital Storming Barbie hates her job, which is so funny
Speaker 1: because the rest of us also hate her. Having her job.
Speaker 1: Becoming a member of Congress has made my life miserable.
Speaker 1: The nature of this job. It keeps members of Congress
Speaker 1: and senators in Washington so much of the time, uh
Speaker 1: too much of the time, to be honest with you,
Speaker 1: that that we don't get to go home and spend
Speaker 1: more time with our families, our friends, um, you know,
Speaker 1: all in our district, or maybe just be regular people,
Speaker 1: because this job is so demanding it's turned into practically
Speaker 1: year round. First of all, you're not a regular person,
Speaker 1: you moron. You're a congress person because you campaign and
Speaker 1: somehow one which requires you to work year round. I
Speaker 1: also don't want to work year round, and that's why
Speaker 1: I don't to quote Kim Kay for a second, get
Speaker 1: your pass up and work. The point is, if you
Speaker 1: don't like being in Congress, then go work at foot locker, bitch.
Speaker 1: But that's not even the worst part of what she said.
Speaker 1: This is I have people come up to me and
Speaker 1: say crazy things to me, um out of the blue
Speaker 1: and public places, um that they believe because they read
Speaker 1: it on the internet. Well, if that's not the pot
Speaker 1: calling the kettle Q and on. This woman thought nine
Speaker 1: eleven was a hoax, that the Clinton's killed JFK Jr.
Speaker 1: And that Jews are in charge of space lasers. But
Speaker 1: please don't come at her with some crazy ideas. She
Speaker 1: might believe them anyway. Moving along. Luckily for MTG, we
Speaker 1: can't spend the whole entire show talking about her because
Speaker 1: she has a coworker who is even more unstable. I'm
Speaker 1: talking about the broke, millionaire, half black, gay Jewish volleyball
Speaker 1: star drag queen George Santos. Believe it or not, his
Speaker 1: resume keeps growing. Just this week, he's been accused of
Speaker 1: groping an AID And I will say this is the
Speaker 1: first thing about him that makes him sound like he
Speaker 1: does belong in Congress. Things are really starting to click
Speaker 1: for him. But before we could even let that sink in,
Speaker 1: we got hit with this other crazy lie. Meanwhile, George
Speaker 1: Santos was also a Broadway producer. At least that's what
Speaker 1: the in Battle lawmaker allegedly told potential donors when he
Speaker 1: was running for office. In Bloomberg reports, Santos told supporters
Speaker 1: that he was a producer on the short lived Broadway
Speaker 1: production Spider Man Turn Off the Dark. The office of
Speaker 1: the plays producer confirmed that Santos did not work on it.
Speaker 1: The playo we ran for a short time and was
Speaker 1: plagued with technical issues and actor injuries. It lost millions
Speaker 1: of dollars during its run, and frankly a curious choice
Speaker 1: for Santos to life out. A spokesman for the show said, quote,
Speaker 1: of all the tribulations the producers of Spiderman turn Off
Speaker 1: the Dark head to endure, we are very pleased, proud,
Speaker 1: and relieved to report them working with George Santos is
Speaker 1: not one of them. I do not get this, dude.
Speaker 1: How could he lie so much and not get better
Speaker 1: at lying? Why would you pick the most embarrassing Broadway
Speaker 1: show to lie about. That's like saying you heard of
Speaker 1: the Titanic. I was the captain. But maybe this guy
Speaker 1: is smarter than he looks, because each new scandal makes
Speaker 1: you forget about the last one. I've already forgotten that
Speaker 1: he stole money from a dead dog. That's right, you
Speaker 1: heard me. He stole from a dog and then ghosted
Speaker 1: that dog. Who ghosts a dog? We've only known this
Speaker 1: guy for like five weeks. How are we already on
Speaker 1: season nineteen of his scandals? I feel like I need
Speaker 1: to put his scandals to like, oh, we didn't start
Speaker 1: the fire, so I can remember them. Nine at eleven, Volleyball,
Speaker 1: Spider Man, dead Dog. And finally, some good news for
Speaker 1: all the people who have been waiting for the world
Speaker 1: to end this weekend. We almost got there. Right now,
Speaker 1: to the other big story. We are following the dangerous
Speaker 1: Arctic blast that is smashing records across the Northeast, many
Speaker 1: spots having felt temperatures this brutally cold in decades, Winchells
Speaker 1: in Portland reaching minus forty five and in Boston thirty
Speaker 1: nine below uncharted territory for both cities. The ones in
Speaker 1: a generation cold, reaching the peak of nearby Mount Washington,
Speaker 1: where it felt like a jaw dropping minus won a way.
Speaker 1: Meteorologist Francis duranswits measures conditions outside every hour. Before I
Speaker 1: really knew what was going on, my legacy to have
Speaker 1: knocked out me and I was on the ground. The
Speaker 1: Mount Washington Reservatories live stream showed the intense conditions. NASA
Speaker 1: says the top of the mountain was slightly colder than
Speaker 1: the average on Mars. I don't understand what colder than
Speaker 1: Mars means. Use a reference that ordinary Americans can understand.
Speaker 1: Was it colder than three busses? I hope it's not
Speaker 1: so cold that elot Musk won't be able to masturbate
Speaker 1: when he gets there. For more on this extreme weather,
Speaker 1: let's go live to Mountain Washington, where don't say slow
Speaker 1: and is on location. But no, no, no, no, no
Speaker 1: no not I'm in my bed. But you were supposed
Speaker 1: to report on the record low temperatures in New Hampshire. Listen,
Speaker 1: white lady, you got the wrong one. You needed me
Speaker 1: to go through a mountain top to tell you that
Speaker 1: negative a hundred and eight degrees is cold. You know
Speaker 1: how I knew it was cold outside because the uber
Speaker 1: eats man told me it was cold, and that's all
Speaker 1: I need to know. Well, how are you supposed to
Speaker 1: report on the wind? If you're in bed, you need
Speaker 1: to be outside, No, ma'am, I know your tricks. Okay.
Speaker 1: The only reason anybody wants a reporter out in this
Speaker 1: kind of weather is to watch them fall and laugh
Speaker 1: at him. Nope, nope, you're not slick. I can't fall
Speaker 1: down if I'm laying down. Checkmate. Do you really think
Speaker 1: as a woman, I would put another woman in that situation? Bitch?
Speaker 1: I'll know you. I give you the benefit of the doubt.
Speaker 1: Next thing I know, I'm falling off a mountain like
Speaker 1: a frozen Move faster. If you want to report on
Speaker 1: the cold, you'll go outside. Blond lady. Let me you
Speaker 1: look like you can handle it. You look like that
Speaker 1: bit from Froling anyway. But I have to be here
Speaker 1: at the desk. You're here, this woman, she says, you
Speaker 1: gotta who are you talking to? Don't in your business.
Speaker 1: I'm not at work. What do you you are at work? Listen? Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen.
Speaker 1: There's too much ship going on outside Okay, fires, floods,
Speaker 1: balloon parts falling from the sky like a bad porno.
Speaker 1: I'm an inside reporter, now, okay, like there's plenty of
Speaker 1: there's plenty to report on here. It's seventy one degrees.
Speaker 1: I'm watching Scandal on Netflix and we're seeing a massive
Speaker 1: pile up of dishes in the seat, which is not
Speaker 1: my file. I can't do the dishes. I'm at work.
Speaker 1: Don't say you're putting me in a bad spot here.
Speaker 1: I was hoping for some or any reporting on Mount Washington. Oh,
Speaker 1: don't worry. Listen, listen, I'm professional. Okay, listen, I can
Speaker 1: get your report on Mount Washington. I got my sources
Speaker 1: right here. Let's see. You know my uber each driver
Speaker 1: I sit him there to get to school. I will
Speaker 1: message him, now, what's up with that mountain? Is it
Speaker 1: cold as ship? Will you see me a video he
Speaker 1: fell down? I love when that happens, because I'll tell
Speaker 1: you what. It won't be made man, check m thanks
Speaker 1: for nothing. We'll say, don't say sloan everybody all right.
Speaker 1: When we come back, we'll talk about the latest diaphad
Speaker 1: that lets you lose weight and kill someone. So don't
Speaker 1: go away. Wore we show. If you are like most Americans,
Speaker 1: you love trying to lose weight while not losing any weight.
Speaker 1: But now there's a new drug that really causes weight loss.
Speaker 1: There's just one small downside. You may have seen photos
Speaker 1: of celebrities and another showing off traumatic weight loss. Some
Speaker 1: say it's diet and exercise, yet millions openly credit drugs
Speaker 1: used to treat obesity and diabetes for getting so skinny.
Speaker 1: Ozempic is a drug that was developed to treat diabetes,
Speaker 1: but in recent months, demand for that drug has soared
Speaker 1: because one of its side effects is weight loss. Many
Speaker 1: are now calling for this trend to end because it's
Speaker 1: causing a shortage in medicine that they desperately need. The
Speaker 1: company that makes so Xempic blames the shortage on interminute
Speaker 1: supply disruptions. Company also said, well, doctors might be prescribing
Speaker 1: ozempic for weight loss, the company does not promote doing so,
Speaker 1: come on, stop stealing medication from diabetes patients. If you
Speaker 1: want to lose weight, just do a juice cleans and
Speaker 1: spend the next three days on the toilet like a
Speaker 1: normal person. But I'll tell you what if ozempic isn't
Speaker 1: going to be able to stop celebrities from taking it
Speaker 1: for weight loss. They could at least change their ads
Speaker 1: to warn diabetics about it. People with type two diabetes
Speaker 1: are excited about how ozempic treats blood sugar and weight loss.
Speaker 1: Thanks to ozempic, I have a ton more energy now,
Speaker 1: which I need to fight off the hordes of real
Speaker 1: housewives trying to steal my ozempic. I said. All it
Speaker 1: takes is one dose per week and a panic room
Speaker 1: to hide from all the TikTok influencers. I'm not going
Speaker 1: out like Billy. They stripped him to his bones for
Speaker 1: his oz epic. Even a little TikTok danced what they did.
Speaker 1: Ozempic is not for everything. If you are not prepared
Speaker 1: to kill for oz empic, it may not be right
Speaker 1: for you. Check with your doctor to see if you're
Speaker 1: healthy enough for extended fist fighting. In the event of
Speaker 1: a celebrity attack, ozempic sleek pen can be hidden inside
Speaker 1: director prevented theft. Ozempic has given me the freedom to
Speaker 1: live my oh ships. Ask your doctor about ozempic today.
Speaker 1: Thanks ozempic, Thanks ozempic, Thanks ozempic. I don't have it.
Speaker 1: That's what everybody says, this sen present ward. All right,
Speaker 1: thank tuned, because let me come back under to Rafael
Speaker 1: Warnock will be joining me on the show, so don't
Speaker 1: go away. Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest
Speaker 1: tonight A is a U S Senator and senior pastor
Speaker 1: of the historic Ebenezer Baptist Church. He's here to talk
Speaker 1: about his new children's book. Put your shoes on and
Speaker 1: get ready, please welcome Senator Rafael Warnock here. Hello, how
Speaker 1: are you. I'm just I'm so delighted to be sitting
Speaker 1: down with you. You are just a star of the
Speaker 1: Democratic Party, and I am just so delighted to be
Speaker 1: sitting here with you because who wasn't rooting for you
Speaker 1: that I knew, no one. That was a very very
Speaker 1: tight race that you were in. Well, thank you, it's
Speaker 1: great to be here, and I'm proud of what Georgia did. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: and now you don't have an election. You don't have
Speaker 1: a runoff or a special election or any election for
Speaker 1: the next six years. That's right. My name was on
Speaker 1: the ballot five times in two years, so clearly I
Speaker 1: wanted this dog on job. Uh. And finally I have
Speaker 1: a six year term. Yeah, that's very that's very refreshing
Speaker 1: news for all of us, so we never have to
Speaker 1: deal with that sort of canary again. I'm excited that
Speaker 1: you wrote a book. It's called put your Shoes On
Speaker 1: and Get Ready, which is about you growing up in
Speaker 1: a household. You were one of twelve children, and you
Speaker 1: were number eleven, one of twelve children. In my family,
Speaker 1: I'm number eleven out of twelve. My parents were both preachers.
Speaker 1: Clearly they read the scripture be fruit, be fruitful, and multiply. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well it was also nice nice of you. I mean,
Speaker 1: did you write a children's book so that herschel Walker
Speaker 1: would be able to read it? So so I have
Speaker 1: I have two small children. My my daughter is six
Speaker 1: and my son is four. And the title of the book,
Speaker 1: put your shoes on and get Ready, to something my
Speaker 1: dad told me every morning. He had a fierce work ethic.
Speaker 1: You didn't sleep late in his house, and every day
Speaker 1: he said, get up, put shoes on, and get ready.
Speaker 1: And uh, it's something I passed on to my children.
Speaker 1: For me, it represents preparation, but also a sense of
Speaker 1: purpose and the recognition that all of us have a place.
Speaker 1: I believe in the world. We've got gifts and things
Speaker 1: were supposed to do, and I'm fighting every day to
Speaker 1: make sure that every kid has a place in America.
Speaker 1: And also we're also fighting pretty hard to be able
Speaker 1: to work across party lines and work with a lot
Speaker 1: of Republicans that would we would a normal person would
Speaker 1: think it was too hard to work with people like
Speaker 1: Ted Cruz. Um, you're working with him on something I know.
Speaker 1: I want to ask you, like, how how do how
Speaker 1: do you operate that? Like, how does that work for you? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm a pastor, so you know, I'm used to inviting
Speaker 1: whosoever will. I'm used to working with all kinds of folks,
Speaker 1: and Um, I have found that in the Congress. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we have our differences, they're real, but you're right. I
Speaker 1: did an amendment with Ted Cruz. He he and I
Speaker 1: are on the Commerce Committee together. I disagree with him
Speaker 1: most of the time. Um, Honestly, some days I'm sitting
Speaker 1: there listening like really, uh. But but as it turns out,
Speaker 1: one day there was something he wanted to get done
Speaker 1: that I also wanted to get done. We couldn't get
Speaker 1: it done in committee. We had to take it to
Speaker 1: the floor of the Senate, and the night we passed
Speaker 1: by partisan infrastructure bill, he stood on his side of
Speaker 1: the out arguing about why he thought we should do it.
Speaker 1: I stood up on my side arguing why I thought
Speaker 1: we should also do it. And then I closed with
Speaker 1: words I never imagine hearing myself say in closing, I'd
Speaker 1: like to associate myself, uh with with with the words
Speaker 1: of the senator from Texas. My colleagues, I think half
Speaker 1: of them didn't know what was in the amendment, but
Speaker 1: they said, if he's for it, and he's for it,
Speaker 1: let's pass it. It passed overwhelmingly, and it's really it
Speaker 1: was just an amendment to get us closer to building
Speaker 1: a highway out that goes through Texas, but it also
Speaker 1: goes through Georgia. And even in this divided time, I
Speaker 1: think that there's a highway that runs through our humanity
Speaker 1: that's bigger than partisan politics. It's certainly bigger than race.
Speaker 1: And if we build out the highway, everybody can get
Speaker 1: to where they need to go. I think that's my
Speaker 1: job as a legislator, and I think that's the job
Speaker 1: of every citizen to try to find common ground to
Speaker 1: get the work done. And yeah, and considering the state
Speaker 1: of politics and the divisiveness of you know where we
Speaker 1: are right now in this country. I mean, are you
Speaker 1: hopeful about voting rights? I know that's something that you're
Speaker 1: working hard for and that you're also Uh with police
Speaker 1: brutality that you guys had a caucus with the president.
Speaker 1: How do you see these things playing out in this time? Look,
Speaker 1: change is slow, it's difficult. It comes and fits and starts,
Speaker 1: but we have to keep working at it. So I'm
Speaker 1: not about to lose hope. I mean, if the preacher
Speaker 1: losers hope, then we were. You know, we're in a
Speaker 1: dangerous place. So I'm not about to lose hope. Um.
Speaker 1: I was John Lewis's pastor. He didn't have any reason
Speaker 1: to believe that he could win. I think we looked
Speaker 1: back at the civil rights movement and we act as
Speaker 1: if these victories were inevitable, when in fact they were
Speaker 1: quite improbable. They kept fighting the good fight. He fought
Speaker 1: until the very end. Who am I to give up?
Speaker 1: And Uh, I was disappointed that we didn't get voting
Speaker 1: ranks done last Congress. Um, but I'm not about to
Speaker 1: stop fighting. The last time we passed voting rights in
Speaker 1: this country. Uh, it passed on the Republican president, it
Speaker 1: passed the Senate I think nineties to zero. Some of
Speaker 1: those folks are still in the Congress. And democracy for me,
Speaker 1: is not just one issue alongside other issues. It's the
Speaker 1: framework in which we get to fight for everything we
Speaker 1: are about climate change, the issues around police brutality, uh,
Speaker 1: giving people access to affordable, affordable health care. All of
Speaker 1: these things are fought for within the framework of our democracy.
Speaker 1: And so I'm gonna keep fighting until we get voting
Speaker 1: rights done. And with speaking on the subject of books,
Speaker 1: we have a you know, uh governor in Florida who
Speaker 1: is trying to ban books and trying to ban critical
Speaker 1: race theory. And uh, let's just talk for a second
Speaker 1: about how damaging that is for little children growing up
Speaker 1: in this country. Oh, I think I think it's it's
Speaker 1: quite unfortunate. And we have to reject the idea that
Speaker 1: our children will be so traumatized by the truth of
Speaker 1: our complicated American story that they can't bear it. Um. Uh,
Speaker 1: you know the script forgive the teacher for quoting scripture,
Speaker 1: but Jesus said, you shall know the truth, and the
Speaker 1: truth will set you free. And um, all all stories
Speaker 1: that complicated. All families have complicated stories, and so does
Speaker 1: the American family, and all of us have to push
Speaker 1: back against this idea that education as the enemy all
Speaker 1: of us red, yellow, brown, black and white. This black
Speaker 1: history is the American story. And uh, that's why I
Speaker 1: wrote this book. I deal with the issue of race
Speaker 1: in this in this book. So I don't know if
Speaker 1: my book would be banned or not. Uh, but but
Speaker 1: I'll tell you, as a dad, I was trying to
Speaker 1: figure out how to talk to my kids about what
Speaker 1: I know they will encounter, and um, I think I
Speaker 1: deal with it in a way that honors the legacy
Speaker 1: of my dad, who, as I talked about in the book,
Speaker 1: was a He served in the army during the World
Speaker 1: War two era, all state side, and one day he
Speaker 1: was asked to give up his seat on a public
Speaker 1: bus while wearing his soldier's uniform. For some the skin
Speaker 1: he was wearing was more important than the uniform he
Speaker 1: was wearing, and so he had to give up his seat.
Speaker 1: That's a part of the American story. But here's the
Speaker 1: other part of the American story. My dad had to
Speaker 1: give up his bus seat. Now I have a seat
Speaker 1: in the United States Senate. A kid who grew up
Speaker 1: in public's only in America. Only in America is my
Speaker 1: story possible. And we can't give in to the demagogus.
Speaker 1: We can't give in to those who pedal in division,
Speaker 1: because people who have no vision, traffic and division. We
Speaker 1: have to fight for that grand American covenant e plura
Speaker 1: bus un them out of many one. That's what makes
Speaker 1: our country great. And I'm deeply honored to represent the
Speaker 1: people of Georgia. Yeah. Yeah, And the people of Georgia
Speaker 1: are honored to have you because you instilled so much
Speaker 1: faith in them when the race was a tight and
Speaker 1: you had another election against you know who, you said,
Speaker 1: I believe the people of Georgia will make the right decision.
Speaker 1: And they did make the right decision. So it all
Speaker 1: ended up in the way that it should. And so yeah,
Speaker 1: you're a pleasure to have serving in the United States Senate.
Speaker 1: It's great to watch you. Thank you so much. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you for being here. Um, what's your shoes on?
Speaker 1: And get ready it's available now, Senator Rockey on war
Speaker 1: right back after this. That's got shot today before we go, Um,
Speaker 1: powerful earthquake struct Turkey and Syria this morning prompting a
Speaker 1: massive rescue operation. I h H Humanitarian Relief Foundation teams
Speaker 1: are on the ground starting search and rescue activities. If
Speaker 1: you can help them in their work, please donate at
Speaker 1: the link below. Explore more shows from the Daily Show
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Speaker 1: your podcast What's the Daily Show weeknights at eleven tenth
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Speaker 1: Fairmount Gloves. This has been a Comedy Central podcast