Speaker 1: Episode three twenty eight, What to do when you feel
Speaker 1: broke with a six figure income.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the Brugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 2: save money, embrace simplicity, and live a life here your
Speaker 2: hosts Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
Speaker 1: my name is Jill, and today we have a listener
Speaker 1: request about what to do if, basically, if you feel
Speaker 1: broke but you're making a really solid income. So most
Speaker 1: two income households will break into six figures. But that
Speaker 1: does not mean that you're gonna feel like you're rolling
Speaker 1: in it. Even though it sounds really nice to be
Speaker 1: having a six figure income, sometimes a lot of people
Speaker 1: are living on that six figure in come, and so
Speaker 1: that's what this episode is all.
Speaker 3: About, and talking about why you might feel broke. I mean,
Speaker 3: some people probably heard this title and we're like, come on, police,
Speaker 3: but yeah, why someone might feel this way, and then
Speaker 3: what to do about it and probably some vulnerability all throughout.
Speaker 3: But first, this episode is brought to you.
Speaker 4: By the middle.
Speaker 3: Unfortunately, not the radical middle that's a very cool hip place.
Speaker 3: No no, no, today's sponsor is just the middle, kind of
Speaker 3: like monkey in the middle. Which is more about people
Speaker 3: laughing at you and less about actually getting the ball.
Speaker 4: They're all keeping away from you.
Speaker 5: Although the middle is it isn't always so bad because
Speaker 5: hot dogs are in the middle, right in the middle
Speaker 5: of two buns, and that's a really great thing.
Speaker 4: And if you feel in the middle, on the fence.
Speaker 3: In between, we see you, and we've got the solution
Speaker 3: for you. It's called the friend Letter. It's not too hot,
Speaker 3: not too cold, but just right. It's free and full
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Speaker 3: the middle of the week and sandwiched on Monday and Friday.
Speaker 4: The middle.
Speaker 3: Sometimes it's really great. Sometimes it's not, but you're never
Speaker 3: alone there.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, thank you, I said, thank you to the
Speaker 1: middle you did, yes, And I mean also, this is
Speaker 1: brought to you by the middle class, because that is
Speaker 1: who we are speaking to today. So if you feel
Speaker 1: yourself firmly in middle class living, then this one is
Speaker 1: for you. And hopefully that's where you feel. The middle
Speaker 1: class is shrinking. That is a statistical fact, not an opinion.
Speaker 1: So it may be harder and harder to find yourself there,
Speaker 1: but still most people are middle income earners, and that's
Speaker 1: going to be in the mid six figures if you
Speaker 1: are in a two income household. If you are any
Speaker 1: single income household, you may not have a six figure income.
Speaker 1: But I would implore you to keep listening anyway, because
Speaker 1: there's a lot of practical tips and mindset shifts that
Speaker 1: you could still be making for when you do get
Speaker 1: to six figures, because you will, I believe in you.
Speaker 3: Yes, And if you want more on this topic, before
Speaker 3: we even get into this episode, we got other episodes.
Speaker 3: You know us, we've been here for a while. We
Speaker 3: got episode two forty four, which is how to improve
Speaker 3: your money mindset. We are going to talk about that
Speaker 3: here because I think this has a lot to do
Speaker 3: with feelings of being broke, maybe not even just circumstances
Speaker 3: of being broke. So if you want to dig in
Speaker 3: more on mindset, that's a great one to queue up.
Speaker 3: And then we've also got episode two fifty six using
Speaker 3: gratitude journaling to help you spend less because spoiler alert,
Speaker 3: gratitude and spending less can also be some of the cures,
Speaker 3: some of the antidote to when we feel like we
Speaker 3: don't have enough. But first, let's get into this episode,
Speaker 3: and there are a couple of notes that I want
Speaker 3: to say too as we start to queue up this
Speaker 3: first article. Is that we don't mean for this title
Speaker 3: to be offensive. I think six figures can sound like
Speaker 3: a lot, but there is a reality again, this is
Speaker 3: a listener requested episode where we might be earning six
Speaker 3: figures and still feeling like it's not enough. So we
Speaker 3: want to address that while also recognizing that there are
Speaker 3: people living on way less than this who are actually
Speaker 3: maybe at the poverty line, not just having and experiencing
Speaker 3: feelings of being broke. So recognize certainly where you're at
Speaker 3: as you're coming to this episode, and also hear us
Speaker 3: out on some of the mindset behind this, what might
Speaker 3: lead a person to feel this way, circumstances as well
Speaker 3: as emotions that go into this.
Speaker 4: Not meaning to be offensive.
Speaker 3: With this topic, but also recognizing, like when I read
Speaker 3: Jen that we were going to be doing this episode,
Speaker 3: it definitely did hit home a bit because I have
Speaker 3: found myself more and more considering this reality, like it
Speaker 3: feels as though we make enough, but why does it
Speaker 3: seem sometimes like it's not enough? Again, let's jump into
Speaker 3: this article because I think it kind of explained some
Speaker 3: of this, But one of the things I've realized for
Speaker 3: myself is I don't think six figures means the same
Speaker 3: thing that it meant ten years ago, potentially even five
Speaker 3: years ago. I mean I remember ten years ago thinking, man,
Speaker 3: if we could just make even a combined sixty thousand dollars,
Speaker 3: like we would be set. And now it feels like,
Speaker 3: you know, the low six figures for a household, especially
Speaker 3: a household with children. It's like, depending on where you live,
Speaker 3: this is what you need to make in order to
Speaker 3: like meet your bills and be able to have any
Speaker 3: sort of fun. But expectations do play into this. So
Speaker 3: the first article does come from dough Roller, which is
Speaker 3: how to make a six figure salary and still be broke.
Speaker 4: I like this play on the like how to.
Speaker 3: It's kind of like following Jen on Instagram, like follow
Speaker 3: me for more tips on and they're always super funny
Speaker 3: and thank you backwards.
Speaker 4: Yes, what did you think of the article? Jen?
Speaker 1: Okay? So yes, this is We're going to go through
Speaker 1: all of these because they are all relevant and they're
Speaker 1: all things that you should be paying attention to even
Speaker 1: if you don't make six figures. Yet when you do,
Speaker 1: these are going to be the things that steal away
Speaker 1: that average income. Because let's just put it into perspective,
Speaker 1: the median American worker per person brings in just over
Speaker 1: fifty four thousand dollars a year. So again, if it's
Speaker 1: just you, you may not be in six figures yet.
Speaker 1: But if it's two people, if it's dual income, then
Speaker 1: then you're there and this episode is for you. But
Speaker 1: so yeah, these are definitely all the things that I
Speaker 1: would have included on this list. So I agree with
Speaker 1: Doe Roller and the author.
Speaker 3: So the first tis off, Jill. The first one is
Speaker 3: living in the wrong place. I don't know if I
Speaker 3: would have titled it exactly or subtitled that that, but
Speaker 3: essentially talking about how much it is for let's say
Speaker 3: a six figure household income for a family of four
Speaker 3: living in a US city like San Francisco, that low
Speaker 3: six figures would qualify you as low income earning just
Speaker 3: because of the high cost of living in that area.
Speaker 3: San Francisco is not the only place where that's the reality.
Speaker 3: I think really a lot of coastal cities, both on
Speaker 3: the East Coast and the West coast, and your larger
Speaker 3: cities are going to be higher cost of living areas.
Speaker 3: And then again, as we've mentioned, depending on how many
Speaker 3: people are trying to live off of that income coming
Speaker 3: into the household can really steal away from what can
Speaker 3: feel like a large amount of money. So the city
Speaker 3: that you live in could be a contributing factor to
Speaker 3: what makes you feel like where is all of my
Speaker 3: money go? They reference how eighty thousand dollars in a
Speaker 3: Midwestern city could stretch way further than one hundred thousand
Speaker 3: dollars in certain coastal cities. So just where you live
Speaker 3: plays a factor into how much money you feel you
Speaker 3: have or even that you actually have.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you don't always get to pick where you live,
Speaker 1: but something you do get to pick is what you
Speaker 1: live in. And the second one is being house poor.
Speaker 1: So I think, and we'll talk about lifestyle inflation, it's
Speaker 1: on the list, but this kind of ties into that
Speaker 1: when we increase our incomes early on in life, we
Speaker 1: automatically increase our way of living because there's nothing much
Speaker 1: else to put that you need to put money towards.
Speaker 1: If you're investing for retirement before you have kids or
Speaker 1: a spouse, it's just you, and so if you get
Speaker 1: a raise, then you're putting money into you versus later
Speaker 1: on in life when we've got you know, mortgages, cars, spouse, kids,
Speaker 1: all these responsibilities. If you get a raise, that money's
Speaker 1: already tied up, you know where to put it. So
Speaker 1: one of these first big ways that we tie up
Speaker 1: our money and tie up our raises before we get
Speaker 1: them are in the house that we buy. So the
Speaker 1: article says, and math says, if you're making one hundred
Speaker 1: thousand years on the nose, that's about eighty three hundred
Speaker 1: and thirty three dollars per month, which sounds fantastic. So
Speaker 1: you could get an FHA loan with a monthly mortgage
Speaker 1: payment of about twenty five hundred dollars a month, and
Speaker 1: that would leave you with over with about fifty seven
Speaker 1: one hundred dollars for other expenses. And it also says,
Speaker 1: remember that thirty one percent. That's a thirty one percent
Speaker 1: mortgage rate, which is normally what the what the loan
Speaker 1: provider is going to recommend that you stay on about
Speaker 1: thirty percent of your income, So twenty five hundred dollars
Speaker 1: a month though, but that's based on your gross income,
Speaker 1: not your net take home or how much like all
Speaker 1: of your other expenses are going to be. They'll they'll
Speaker 1: take into account your debt, but not what you're going
Speaker 1: to spend in the future with your lifestyle inflation. So
Speaker 1: after net, that leaves you with about three four and
Speaker 1: eighty nine dollars per month after your maximum mortgage. And
Speaker 1: people will look at this maximum this mortgage like thinking, okay, whatever,
Speaker 1: I can get approved for a because houses are so stinkin' expensive,
Speaker 1: like now more than ever, but also because you can
Speaker 1: anticipate making more money, But that really ties up your
Speaker 1: money before you've made it and can make you house poor.
Speaker 1: So I would say, don't get at the top of
Speaker 1: what you're approved for. And if you're already at the top,
Speaker 1: then it's not too late to go back. I was
Speaker 1: just watching Remeats show on Netflix, the new I was
Speaker 1: just going to reference. Yes, okay, so if you haven't
Speaker 1: watched it, it is phenomenal, Absolutely go watch on Netflix.
Speaker 1: It's It's re Meeat Seti's I Think How to Be
Speaker 1: Rich I Think is the name of it. And one
Speaker 1: of his the girls on the show, she buys this
Speaker 1: condo because it's what's expected of you, like as a
Speaker 1: young woman, she wants to be financially independent, and for her,
Speaker 1: buying a condo is it's like a soul decision, which
Speaker 1: is not bad. It's not a bad way to make
Speaker 1: a money decision, like if it's if it's a heart
Speaker 1: decision over a math decision, that's not bad. But girl
Speaker 1: did not realize all the extra expenses that come with
Speaker 1: the house, in the taxes, insurance, all of the repairs.
Speaker 1: The condo association. Yeah, so hoa or condo association is
Speaker 1: so expensive if you're not anticipating it. Sometimes they can
Speaker 1: be like fifty bucks a month, but a lot of
Speaker 1: the times, for condos especially, they're outrageous. And she literally
Speaker 1: would not afford to fix her hot water heater, so
Speaker 1: for six months she was showered like taking cold showers
Speaker 1: because she couldn't afford it. And that's not the dream,
Speaker 1: that's not the status, that's not what you're looking for.
Speaker 1: She's extremely house poor, so she Yeah, I won't spoil
Speaker 1: the the what she decides to do, but that is
Speaker 1: a way that we can really get into this mess.
Speaker 3: Well, I appreciated the standard that he gave. I have
Speaker 3: not really heard this from other people. You hear this,
Speaker 3: you don't want to spend more than twenty five to
Speaker 3: thirty percent of your income on your housing expenses generally, Yeah,
Speaker 3: the mortgage, you're going to be probably approved for a
Speaker 3: loan at about thirty percent of your gross income. Jen,
Speaker 3: you've already talked about why that's not a great thing
Speaker 3: to base it off of because you don't actually bring
Speaker 3: home your gross income. So then what he was also
Speaker 3: saying was not just your mortgage, but consider all of
Speaker 3: the other expenses having to do with your house. What
Speaker 3: is your utility bill going to be, your electric bill,
Speaker 3: and even the amount of money that you want to
Speaker 3: be setting aside monthly for your house to anticipate big
Speaker 3: or small repairs, and so all of that collectively combined
Speaker 3: shouldn't be more than thirty percent of your take home
Speaker 3: income or I mean, he does say gross income, but
Speaker 3: still that's definitely a much more conservative approach and conservative number,
Speaker 3: which I found really helpful because I don't think a
Speaker 3: lot of people are considering what else you're going to
Speaker 3: have to pay for beyond just the mortgage. That can
Speaker 3: really bring down what that number actually is and what
Speaker 3: you can feel comfortable affording so that you don't become
Speaker 3: house poor. The next one on here is lifestyle inflation,
Speaker 3: which I know you've already referenced, Jen, but this happened, Oh,
Speaker 3: I've experienced it myself. Of as we earn more that
Speaker 3: are expenses, even discretionary kind of rise to meet that
Speaker 3: level of Well, now I've now I'm earning this much,
Speaker 3: So why can't I do XYZ daily, weekly, monthly? I mean,
Speaker 3: this could be right down to I'm getting takeout every
Speaker 3: other day, i am going out to coffee every day,
Speaker 3: I'm saying yes to as many vacations as possible.
Speaker 4: I'm you name it. It could even be the type
Speaker 4: of car that you're now choosing to.
Speaker 3: Drive, the house that you chose to buy because of
Speaker 3: this increase in wages that you're receiving, which is excellent,
Speaker 3: but if we don't keep our discretionary spending in check,
Speaker 3: or even our large spending decisions in check, this could
Speaker 3: lead us to feel as though we don't have a
Speaker 3: lot of money, even though we are maybe living very
Speaker 3: much much in the middle class, having enough to pay
Speaker 3: our bills, go on at least one vacation a year,
Speaker 3: and yet, depending on the other decisions we're making with
Speaker 3: our lifestyle. That's what can eat into feeling as though, man,
Speaker 3: where did it all go?
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I would say that this is probably the most the
Speaker 1: most important one, but it's also the hardest one to
Speaker 1: peel back, right, Like, if you're house poor, you know
Speaker 1: the solution to that problem is to either make more
Speaker 1: money or downsize, But that's a very hard decision, Like
Speaker 1: that's a very hard move to make. Lifestyle inflation is
Speaker 1: a ton of micro moves that you have made to
Speaker 1: increase your expenses, and it's easy to take off these
Speaker 1: micro moves, but you have to peel back so many
Speaker 1: of them, and it becomes so convoluted between like, yes,
Speaker 1: your lifestyle should inflate you age, like I no longer
Speaker 1: go to concerts where I have to stand. I will
Speaker 1: only go to a concert if I can sit. That's
Speaker 1: because manees and mahips are not as good as they
Speaker 1: were in my early twenties. So yes to a sense
Speaker 1: like your lifestyle should inflate, But where is the line
Speaker 1: is the hard part. So this is like a it's
Speaker 1: going to take a lot longer to reverse lifestyle inflation,
Speaker 1: and it is a lifelong journey to figure out at
Speaker 1: what point like is the right amount of lifestyle inflation,
Speaker 1: because it's not a bad thing. Your expenses should get
Speaker 1: higher as you earn more money as you get older.
Speaker 1: I saw an article of a survey about purchasing luxury
Speaker 1: brands and how each it's I don't know what the
Speaker 1: point of it was, but essentially each age group, like
Speaker 1: from Gen Z to millennials to X to boomers, the
Speaker 1: higher it gets, the more people spend on luxury goods.
Speaker 1: And like a duh, the older you get, the more
Speaker 1: money you have to spend on luxury goods. B you're
Speaker 1: tired of throwing away cheap crap, so you're looking for
Speaker 1: more long lasting things so you don't have to buy
Speaker 1: as much. Like I don't know what they were trying
Speaker 1: to get the point across, to be, but that's not
Speaker 1: a bad thing. Like I don't know if they were
Speaker 1: trying to say it was a bad thing, like, oh,
Speaker 1: millennials are spending so much money on luxury goods, but
Speaker 1: it's not a bad thing. We just need to figure
Speaker 1: out where that line is to be where you should
Speaker 1: say yes and where you should say no, because it
Speaker 1: is so much harder to peel back all those micro
Speaker 1: decisions than it is to just have a line in
Speaker 1: the sand.
Speaker 3: Right off the bat, it sounds a lot like understanding
Speaker 3: values based spending could really help with lifestyle inflation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just testn't it. Yeah, I think you're right. So
Speaker 1: the next one is not saving for emergencies, and I
Speaker 1: think this, I think this is the one that's going
Speaker 1: to hit people the hardest. I know, lifestyle inflation is
Speaker 1: probably the probably the most well known, and the probably
Speaker 1: the one everyone expected us to talk about the most.
Speaker 1: But I would say for most families, it is very
Speaker 1: easy to live paycheck to paycheck until an emergency comes,
Speaker 1: whether that emergency is your dog needs surgery, you have
Speaker 1: car troubles, you lose your job. If you are living
Speaker 1: paycheck to paycheck, if your lifestyle is inflated to that,
Speaker 1: this is what's going to throw you over the edge.
Speaker 1: This is what's going to put you into credit card
Speaker 1: debt and get you feeling broke, like you can't get
Speaker 1: out of a hole. So whatever it is that you're
Speaker 1: doing doing stopping and making sure you have an emergency
Speaker 1: fund of at least two thousand dollars, you get to
Speaker 1: pick what makes you feel safe. If you feel safe
Speaker 1: living with zero dollars in an emergency fund. Let's start
Speaker 1: with two thousand. But that just to make you feel
Speaker 1: safe safe you're not definitely have more right, So that
Speaker 1: I think is the first. If we're talking about steps
Speaker 1: to take to not feel broke with a six figure income,
Speaker 1: this is step one. I think this should be. That
Speaker 1: should have been number one. It's just not the sexiest answer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, it's also helpful and determining. Why do I
Speaker 3: feel so broken? Maybe it might be because you got
Speaker 3: hit with an emergency and you weren't you didn't adequately
Speaker 3: save for it.
Speaker 4: That was one of my experiences. Maybe we'll talk about
Speaker 4: that in the lightning round.
Speaker 3: On to the next one of high interest at could
Speaker 3: be a contributing factor to feeling as though you don't
Speaker 3: actually earn what you actually earn, and so high interest debt.
Speaker 3: These are going to be things like your credit card
Speaker 3: debt or any personal loans that you may have. This
Speaker 3: could be for some of us auto loans, this high
Speaker 3: interest debt that we can't seem to get out from under.
Speaker 3: We keep making payments, but it's hardly going to the principle.
Speaker 4: And maybe even they are high.
Speaker 3: Payments, you might be paying a lot every month towards
Speaker 3: this debt, and certainly that's going to make it feel
Speaker 3: as though our take home pay is getting really eaten
Speaker 3: up when we allow this debt to linger. Of course,
Speaker 3: one of the solutions there is going to be making
Speaker 3: a game plan of getting rid of that high interest
Speaker 3: debt as soon as possible, much sooner. You should be
Speaker 3: prioritizing this over your lower interest debt. But that will
Speaker 3: make a significant difference in how you are feeling about
Speaker 3: your financial landscape.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's never a good idea to keep credit card
Speaker 1: debt on a credit card. It does not build your credit.
Speaker 1: You build credit just as fast by paying your cards
Speaker 1: off every month. Uh, And it costs you so much
Speaker 1: money it's not worth it. If you have an emergency fund,
Speaker 1: then there's no reason to have a rolling balance on
Speaker 1: a credit card. In theory, if you're making six figures,
Speaker 1: then this is who we're talking to. But yeah, definitely
Speaker 1: keep high interest debt at bay. And I would even yeah,
Speaker 1: I would lump car loans into this at this point
Speaker 1: because car loans have gotten much more expensive. They're not
Speaker 1: high as high of interest as credit cards. But you
Speaker 1: can be car poor just as you are house poor.
Speaker 1: It's much easier to become car poor at this point
Speaker 1: because cars are much more expensive than or much more
Speaker 1: affordable than houses. So be careful of what car you get.
Speaker 1: We are not advocating for buying jeloppies and ending up
Speaker 1: in your mechanics family because you see them so much.
Speaker 1: That's not what we're advocating for. We are not against
Speaker 1: auto loans. We are against auto loans encouraging the availability
Speaker 1: of auto loans, encouraging you to take out larger loans
Speaker 1: that make you car poor.
Speaker 3: But like a G wagon for tax reasons totally makes sense.
Speaker 1: Right if you see us ever getting g wagons.
Speaker 4: You know why.
Speaker 1: I know it.
Speaker 4: It's a financial decision. It's a frugal move.
Speaker 1: Right after I get rid of my minivan, for sure,
Speaker 1: next car is a G wagon for tax purposes for taxers. No,
Speaker 1: but seriously, I think so. When I got my minivan,
Speaker 1: we talked about this on the show, that I saved
Speaker 1: four thousand dollars by simply making one decision, like to
Speaker 1: go to a different dealership to get the same van.
Speaker 1: And it's I had this like sunk cost fallacy that
Speaker 1: I had spent so much time with this salesperson, and
Speaker 1: I felt bad for wasting all his time just to
Speaker 1: get up and leave, but ultimately I had to take
Speaker 1: care of me first, and I got up, and I left,
Speaker 1: and I went to the other dealership, and I saved
Speaker 1: that one decision saved me four thousand dollars, which over
Speaker 1: the life of a car loan is nothing, but when
Speaker 1: you think of it in totality, like if I have
Speaker 1: the option to save to make one drive and save
Speaker 1: four dollars on a carton of eggs because that's how
Speaker 1: much they are now, or four thousand dollars, I'm going
Speaker 1: to take the four thousand dollars decision, right. So this
Speaker 1: is the way you can think about buying decisions when
Speaker 1: we're thinking about high interest debt or debt in general,
Speaker 1: is yeah, you may need to take out a loan,
Speaker 1: you may need to put something on a car card,
Speaker 1: but don't let that credit card debt roll over, and
Speaker 1: don't take out all the money just because they say
Speaker 1: you can. So the next one is massive student loan payments.
Speaker 1: And we don't have to like reiterate this. We all
Speaker 1: know that we're suffering because we have massive student loan payments.
Speaker 1: But I think we'll just say, make a plan to
Speaker 1: pay them off. And they are not as high of
Speaker 1: a priority as your high interest debt or probably even
Speaker 1: your car loan. So yeah, that's but they are. They
Speaker 1: do tend to be an emotional burden and can limit
Speaker 1: your spending opportunities.
Speaker 3: I do think that there's value in identifying why do
Speaker 3: I feel this way? Here's what I make, and yet
Speaker 3: why does it not feel like enough?
Speaker 4: Not to stop there?
Speaker 3: But I do think we need to start there of
Speaker 3: well what are the contributing factors, and then can continue
Speaker 3: on to say, well what we do about it? This
Speaker 3: article wraps up where our next article begins, though, and
Speaker 3: I do like some of the example that they give
Speaker 3: just about how much mindset does intersect with this idea
Speaker 3: that there are certainly circumstances, very real that can make
Speaker 3: us feel like we don't have much, but there's also
Speaker 3: so much that is imagined here where our own thinking patterns,
Speaker 3: ways of relating, ways of viewing the world, expectations have
Speaker 3: a lot to do with how we're feeling, even beyond
Speaker 3: our circumstances. They give an example of say there's two
Speaker 3: people who make the same amount of money and live
Speaker 3: very similar lifestyles, but one has a ton of debt
Speaker 3: and is living paycheck to paycheck and the other doesn't.
Speaker 3: They look very similar, but internally the stress that they're under,
Speaker 3: what they're dealing with, the way that they are experiencing
Speaker 3: their circumstances is dramatically different. One they are living frugally
Speaker 3: by choice, and the other they are frugally because it's
Speaker 3: like mandatory for them because of how much debt that
Speaker 3: they have. And so this just kind of drives home
Speaker 3: this point that in part, being broke can be a
Speaker 3: mindset if you are making the six figures and beyond,
Speaker 3: we're not talking about true poverty level, but it's also
Speaker 3: reliant on other factors like your overall spending choices and
Speaker 3: how you control your budget. So I really like that
Speaker 3: wrap up to this article because I think it's a
Speaker 3: helpful challenge to us to Yep, let's look at why
Speaker 3: is this happening, but also what are the other factors
Speaker 3: of my personhood that are playing into me feeling this way?
Speaker 3: And how do I take control over how I'm feeling
Speaker 3: about my circumstances and just the reality of my circumstances.
Speaker 3: So this next article I really like comes from Cachet
Speaker 3: and it is five ways to repair a broke money mindset.
Speaker 4: I like that.
Speaker 3: Clay On words like you feel broke, but it's also
Speaker 3: a broken mindset.
Speaker 4: What'd you think, Jen?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like this in the context that like I
Speaker 1: hate like all lou the woo woo stuff like affirmations
Speaker 1: and manifesting. I that's not my thing, and so sometimes
Speaker 1: money mindset can get into that sphere. But these these
Speaker 1: five tips are really the mindset shifts you need to
Speaker 1: make in order to say no to decisions that will
Speaker 1: inflate your lifestyle, will inflate your expenses. So I really
Speaker 1: liked these in that sense is that they are applicable,
Speaker 1: Like when you go into make a decision, you can
Speaker 1: use these too say no. So like the first one,
Speaker 1: first way to repair a broke any mindset appreciation in gratitude.
Speaker 1: So yes, you can, you know, keep a gratitude journal.
Speaker 1: We love that practice gratitude and appreciation for the people
Speaker 1: and things in your life. Yes the article does say that,
Speaker 1: but practically I know that after about three to four
Speaker 1: years of owning my car, I have learned every single
Speaker 1: thing about it that annoys me. And that's when I
Speaker 1: start getting this itch to go get a new car.
Speaker 1: But instead of doing that, I try to think of
Speaker 1: a few things that I appreciate or I'm grateful for
Speaker 1: in having what I have. Now, this isn't the same
Speaker 1: as like my last car actually was dangerous to drive
Speaker 1: and I had to get a new one. But if
Speaker 1: it hadn't been dangerous, like there were a bunch of
Speaker 1: other things like the radio didn't work and all this
Speaker 1: other stuff that was actually livable, And so thinking of
Speaker 1: things like appreciation gratitude to say, Okay, I don't actually
Speaker 1: need a new car right now, I can keep this
Speaker 1: one for another two to three years. Stuff like that.
Speaker 1: Or when you're thinking, oh this house, I need a
Speaker 1: bigger house, there's like we're, you know, three people busting
Speaker 1: out of this house. Then like appreciation and gratitude for
Speaker 1: the things that you have and for the things that
Speaker 1: you can get rid of to make more space in
Speaker 1: your house so you don't have to buy something bigger,
Speaker 1: or just so many ways you can bring this in
Speaker 1: to prolong the inevitability of these decisions, like yes you
Speaker 1: probably will get a new house, Yes you probably will
Speaker 1: get a new car, but you can push that off
Speaker 1: and take full utilization of the things you already own
Speaker 1: to get the full value of them through appreciation and gratitude.
Speaker 3: I do think gratitude is the great reset whenever feeling
Speaker 3: displeased or yeah, discontent. I think that this is such
Speaker 3: an antidote. It may not solve all of the problems,
Speaker 3: but I think it's a perspective giver which can really
Speaker 3: help realign our thoughts and actions and attitudes. So I
Speaker 3: really do love this one. Number two is create your Life.
Speaker 3: I think that's the subtitle, create your own Life.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 3: A lot of the wording and this one I disagree
Speaker 3: with some of the perspective. I think it lacks the
Speaker 3: full picture, so I'm not going to read much of it.
Speaker 3: But what I do agree with in this concept of
Speaker 3: creating your own life is taking ownership, recognizing that there
Speaker 3: are some circumstances outside of our control and some circumstances
Speaker 3: within our control. Maybe a combination, most likely a combination
Speaker 3: has led us to where we can currently are, but
Speaker 3: focusing the majority of our attention on what's ours, What
Speaker 3: do we actually have control or influence over, and how
Speaker 3: can we steer our efforts our capacities towards that. Maybe
Speaker 3: rather than expending unnecessary energy on the things that are
Speaker 3: outside of our control or influence that kind of keeps
Speaker 3: us stuck, that doesn't allow any sort of forward movement,
Speaker 3: that maybe keeps us in this state of discontent, but
Speaker 3: rather okay, but this is ultimately my life to choose
Speaker 3: what's next. Maybe there's things that happen to me that
Speaker 3: I can't take back or didn't have any control over.
Speaker 3: But where can I go from here? And how can
Speaker 3: I choose to author the components of which I actually
Speaker 3: have the ability to author and write in my own
Speaker 3: narrative here?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I like this sounds very affirmation y, but I
Speaker 1: don't like it for that. I like it in the
Speaker 1: shift of mindset taking like goals from I want to
Speaker 1: pay off five thousand dollars of debt this year. That's
Speaker 1: a very arbitrary goal, right, instead of just saying like
Speaker 1: arbitrary goals, almost reverse engineering it, or maybe not even
Speaker 1: reverse engineering it, but like making goals that you can
Speaker 1: control that you can control the outcome of. So like
Speaker 1: if you may not be able to control how much
Speaker 1: money you put towards your debt this year, because things
Speaker 1: will come up, but you can control your actions, So I,
Speaker 1: you know, I want to put five hundred minutes towards
Speaker 1: my side hustle of delivering for Postmates, and I want
Speaker 1: to put one hundred percent of that profit towards my debt.
Speaker 1: It's not monetary, but you have one hundred percent control
Speaker 1: over what you are doing. You're clocking this many minutes
Speaker 1: and you're putting one hundred percent towards your dead Ultimately,
Speaker 1: don't have control over how much you know people are
Speaker 1: tipping you, how many jobs you're gonna get, like every time,
Speaker 1: so you don't have control over there, but you do
Speaker 1: have control over how many minutes you are working that.
Speaker 1: So it's just this shift of like instead of creating
Speaker 1: these arbitrary goals for your life, creating goals that you
Speaker 1: are the master of. Like at this quote at the
Speaker 1: end from the William Ernest, I am the master of
Speaker 1: my fate. I am the captain of my soul. It
Speaker 1: sounds so extreme, so powerful, but you're the master of
Speaker 1: some things, not everything. So just only master and captain
Speaker 1: the things that you know you can, Yeah, is to
Speaker 1: focus on opportunities, and that kind of runs with the
Speaker 1: last one is when you are focusing on the things
Speaker 1: that you actually have control of, only then will you
Speaker 1: be able to see opportunities. If you are like just
Speaker 1: letting life happen to you, you miss opportunities for growth
Speaker 1: or for more monetization. So I know my husband Travis
Speaker 1: recently got a new job because he has been looking
Speaker 1: for one, and he a lot of the times doesn't
Speaker 1: like jobs come to him, but he wouldn't see them
Speaker 1: as that like, he only sees them come to him
Speaker 1: because he's looking. I don't know if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: He sees the opportunities because his eyes are open to them.
Speaker 1: So focus on the things that you have control over.
Speaker 1: And when you are focused on that and you're being
Speaker 1: the progress, then your peripherals are going to be able
Speaker 1: to see opportunities for other ways to make money or
Speaker 1: to save money. And yeah, I like that. Focus on
Speaker 1: the opportunities.
Speaker 3: Another thing. The next one that they are highlighting to
Speaker 3: focus on is long term goals. Now, this one can
Speaker 3: be a tricky one because I don't think we can
Speaker 3: always have a long term goal top of mind, and
Speaker 3: I think it's where the majority of us live. Day
Speaker 3: in day out. We have to get tasks done and
Speaker 3: do our work. But in these times of feeling broke
Speaker 3: or identifying maybe this broke money mindset. It could be
Speaker 3: related to being shortsighted or only looking at short term things.
Speaker 3: They reference how a lot of times people with a
Speaker 3: broke money mindset or scarcity mindset are more concerned with
Speaker 3: looking well, healthy, or rich, or like having achieved a
Speaker 3: certain status rather than actually having achieved that thing, and
Speaker 3: this can eat into what is available to us, both
Speaker 3: in the long term and the short term. So this
Speaker 3: is where it can come back to what is the
Speaker 3: lifestyle that we want to be creating and are there
Speaker 3: elements to I might feel a pinch right now, but
Speaker 3: it's because of these longer term things that.
Speaker 4: I have set up.
Speaker 3: It's because I am investing in my retirement, It's because
Speaker 3: I've chosen X y Z for myself. So reminding ourselves
Speaker 3: of these things can be a helpful mindset trick. I
Speaker 3: don't think again that we can always be thinking about
Speaker 3: the future in a really long term way, but this
Speaker 3: could be helpful in shifting the way that we might
Speaker 3: be feeling in the moment when we can put it
Speaker 3: into perspective and identify what is it that we're actually
Speaker 3: working towards.
Speaker 1: And then the last one is my absolute favorite one
Speaker 1: on the list. It is to surround yourself with positive people,
Speaker 1: and maybe not even positive, but just people who inspire
Speaker 1: and motivate you to be more of who you want
Speaker 1: to be. So, I mean, that's like Jill and I's
Speaker 1: relationship to a t We initially bonded over our love
Speaker 1: of being frugal, essentially, and we have made each other
Speaker 1: want to be more frugal ever since, but in a
Speaker 1: healthy way. And so it's those relationships and having more
Speaker 1: of those relationships that help me keep my lifestyle inflation
Speaker 1: in check. It helps me be grateful for the house
Speaker 1: and the car and the people like in my life.
Speaker 1: The relationships you have are going to have such an
Speaker 1: impact on all of the other things we've talked about today.
Speaker 1: So if you are surrounding yourself with people who are
Speaker 1: living paycheck to paycheck, who are the jone is you're
Speaker 1: trying to keep up with, are TikTok influencers, like or
Speaker 1: buying everything that TikTok tells them to, You turn into
Speaker 1: that person even when you don't want to. Just little
Speaker 1: by little, so intentionally find people who are acting the
Speaker 1: way you want to act, spending the way you want
Speaker 1: to spend. And spend more time with those people.
Speaker 3: Do you know who I love to surround myself with.
Speaker 3: I do it every week and it has become this
Speaker 3: chorus of voices, these chorus of.
Speaker 5: Bella love the week.
Speaker 2: That's right, it's time for the best minute of your
Speaker 2: entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name
Speaker 2: is William. Maybe you've paid off your more, Maybe your
Speaker 2: car died and you're happy to not have to pay
Speaker 2: that bill anymore.
Speaker 1: That bills but blow bills, bill claim.
Speaker 4: This is the bill of the week.
Speaker 7: Hi, Jenjell, my name is Alissa, and my bill of
Speaker 7: the week is my rent bill. I was listening last
Speaker 7: summer and I heard you say that you don't have
Speaker 7: to accept your rent for just what it is. You
Speaker 7: can be creative and change that. So my husband and
Speaker 7: I actually decided to move three thousand miles away to
Speaker 7: a new state to escape the crazy high cost of
Speaker 7: living that we were in and follow our values more.
Speaker 7: And we started tracking our expenses and starting to say
Speaker 7: for a crisis emergency fund. And now we're realizing that
Speaker 7: maybe we had underestimated and overestimated certain categories because we
Speaker 7: weren't tracking it. And now we're going to fix all
Speaker 7: that and make sure that all the categories are right,
Speaker 7: and then I think we'll have some leftover, and I
Speaker 7: want to challenge ourselves to use that leftover money to
Speaker 7: put towards our car payment, to get that kind of
Speaker 7: taken off, because I thought that payoff was way out
Speaker 7: of our scope. So thank you so much. And I
Speaker 7: enjoy listening and I'll enjoy listening in the futures. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Alyssa, that I mean you pretty much.
Speaker 1: Just you were the example for this entire episode.
Speaker 3: We couldn't have asked for anything that we could not
Speaker 3: have asked for a better bill of the week for
Speaker 3: this episode, and that's how you literally took our show. Yeah,
Speaker 3: with people like you, Alissa.
Speaker 1: Yes, oh my gosh, it's people are doing it. People
Speaker 1: are taking their expenses down to give themselves a better life,
Speaker 1: and you can't do I hope that you're hearing this
Speaker 1: and you're encouraged to just change things up a little
Speaker 1: bit and let its snowball. See where the snowball goes. No, congrats, Alissa.
Speaker 3: I mean the snowhall is usually going to go down
Speaker 3: the hill, but in this case, that's a good thing.
Speaker 3: Well done, Alyssa. How amazing Whenever we talk about consider moving,
Speaker 3: it always sounds so extreme and not everybody has to
Speaker 3: do it, but how amazing to hear your story of
Speaker 3: having done it and what you are experiencing as a result.
Speaker 4: Go luck, paying down that car Loan.
Speaker 3: You've got this, You've got this in the bag. And
Speaker 3: if others of you listening want to be a chorus
Speaker 3: of bills surrounding us, whether figurative bill or literal bill,
Speaker 3: and you're just doing it, and you've got some inspo
Speaker 3: for other people, visit Frugal Friends podcast dot com, slash bill,
Speaker 3: leave us your bill. It can be as vague as
Speaker 3: you want it to be. This is how we surround
Speaker 3: ourselves with positivity and good influence. And now it's time
Speaker 3: for let it around. And if I make more noises,
Speaker 3: I won't have to get vulnerable.
Speaker 1: That's too bad, because it's gonna come. So today's lightning
Speaker 1: round question is what do you do when you get
Speaker 1: the feeling of being broke? Go for it, John, So
Speaker 1: I actually have so I want to get vulnerable and
Speaker 1: say one example from me, But I also want to
Speaker 1: tell a story of a listener who shall rename remain anonymous. So,
Speaker 1: but I'll do that after you you give yours. So mine.
Speaker 1: When I'm feeling broke is I budget. I will make
Speaker 1: a budget. So I actually do not make a spending
Speaker 1: plan every month because I'm pretty in tune with my spending.
Speaker 1: I've spent years and years like getting handle on my spending,
Speaker 1: increasing my income. And I am not the lover of
Speaker 1: spreadsheets and numbers and all that. That's Jill. Jill loves
Speaker 1: that she does.
Speaker 4: That I do not. I do feel protected.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so here is some freedom and like grace, Like
Speaker 1: if that's not you, it doesn't have to be like
Speaker 1: at the beginning, you're going to have to be spreadsheet girl.
Speaker 1: You have to be at the beginning. But once you
Speaker 1: master or not master, but like once you get control
Speaker 1: of yourself that sounds horrible. Once you feel in control
Speaker 1: and you are aware you want to be, then you
Speaker 1: don't have to be spreadsheet girl anymore if you don't
Speaker 1: want to be. So that's not me and I don't
Speaker 1: do it. But when I feel anxiety about being broke,
Speaker 1: that's when I head back in and I make the
Speaker 1: plan and I see what the spending is telling me.
Speaker 1: And most of the time the feeling of being broke
Speaker 1: is a feeling and not a math. So that's me.
Speaker 1: But yes, that is my biggest thing that I do
Speaker 1: when I feel like I might be broke, which is
Speaker 1: something that's happening right now. It's very it's a very
Speaker 1: pertinent question right now. Thank you, Goldie. I guess I
Speaker 1: can talk about that later.
Speaker 3: Job Travis took is so amazing, and it back to
Speaker 3: the spreadsheets, but it's what we talk about.
Speaker 1: It's what we shone into das. Yes, you get that
Speaker 1: financial freedom and then you have the opportunity to leave
Speaker 1: a toxic work environment for a much better work environment,
Speaker 1: even though it is a pay cut.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that is a.
Speaker 1: Decision then we just recently.
Speaker 3: Made, and there's still emotions that go along with that.
Speaker 3: So I think normalizing that is great doesn't mean then
Speaker 3: that the decisions we make all feel so incredibly lovely
Speaker 3: like sometimes it's the reality of it is there too.
Speaker 3: I do like that though. I think sometimes there is
Speaker 3: action we can put to our anxieties that helps to
Speaker 3: alleviate it. You were able to identify here's where the
Speaker 3: anxiety is coming from. Here's something that I can do
Speaker 3: to take back power and control and hopefully it worked.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: So for me, I am very similar. I definitely do
Speaker 3: need to put action to it.
Speaker 4: If I am.
Speaker 3: Feeling broke, it will probably lead me to look at
Speaker 3: the realities of it. I want to see it. I
Speaker 3: want to know what the numbers are and I identify
Speaker 3: maybe potentially the problem too, so that I could respond.
Speaker 3: So in that process, one of the things that I
Speaker 3: will do is try to identify the source of that
Speaker 3: feeling of feeling broke. So is it a circumstance or
Speaker 3: is it really just kind of my mindset what came
Speaker 3: before this feeling of being broke, And that's going to
Speaker 3: then inform what my response is going to be. So
Speaker 3: if it's a circumstance, So here you go a vulnerable
Speaker 3: example for me, I have felt felt broke. Now, I
Speaker 3: have known the reality of not having a lot of money.
Speaker 3: Now Eric and I combine do earn six figures, low
Speaker 3: six figures, But there are times where I feel like
Speaker 3: where I don't have a bunch. And some of that,
Speaker 3: more recently is related to yes, I had an emergency savings,
Speaker 3: but I realized very quickly that that didn't.
Speaker 4: Totally feel like enough for what we faced.
Speaker 3: So we got hit with an unexpected tax bill back
Speaker 3: to back with some medical expenses and two at the
Speaker 3: same time, really wiped out a good portion of our
Speaker 3: emergency fund, which led me to feeling broke. We could
Speaker 3: still cover our expenses, so there's still a lot of
Speaker 3: gratitude there, but I think in that situation, it was
Speaker 3: a circumstance that led me to feel that way. So
Speaker 3: then making a plan for how do I build this
Speaker 3: emergency fund back up, where can I cut in some
Speaker 3: of my other discretionary spending so that I can feel
Speaker 3: better about where this cushion is again, And then as
Speaker 3: opposed to if it's just a mindset like I don't know,
Speaker 3: I was just scrolling the internet and everybody's making it
Speaker 3: look like everybody's super wealthy all of a sudden, and Okay,
Speaker 3: it's just my mindset, then that my response to that
Speaker 3: might just be that gratitude piece of Okay, but what
Speaker 3: do I have and how can I create some separation
Speaker 3: between me and like what's being sold to me?
Speaker 4: That might then be my response.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I will share one last story from a listener
Speaker 1: who sent me an email once and I will apologize
Speaker 1: to this listener in advance because I don't think I
Speaker 1: responded to it because it was such a it really
Speaker 1: had me thinking this was a while ago, but I
Speaker 1: think it's relevant for this particular topic. She was emailing
Speaker 1: me very asking for help because her family was in
Speaker 1: a lot of debt, but her like and she just
Speaker 1: needed to know what to do, like to pay it off,
Speaker 1: like where to start, and she said her daughter rides horses.
Speaker 1: She's into a question in which, if you're unfamiliar, it
Speaker 1: is a very expensive I mean, I'm unfamiliar. I know
Speaker 1: it's expensive. It's just an expensive it's like the most
Speaker 1: expensive support you could put your child in. And so
Speaker 1: like I read it, and initially I was just like,
Speaker 1: I can't answer this because you already know what the
Speaker 1: answer is. You've got to stop with the horses. But
Speaker 1: I thought about it, and it's easy for somebody on
Speaker 1: the outside to judge somebody else that they don't know
Speaker 1: who's behind a computer screen, who's genuinely asking for help
Speaker 1: and genuinely is at a conflict, like she has built
Speaker 1: up her She's had a pretty stable income. It had
Speaker 1: to have been pretty good to get started with horses,
Speaker 1: so making good money, but because of lifestyle inflation, and
Speaker 1: whatever else is compounding like the first article, you know,
Speaker 1: all the elements from the first article we talked about,
Speaker 1: has gotten to this place where she nothing to show
Speaker 1: for it, and not even that has probably negative to
Speaker 1: show for it because she's trying to pay off debt
Speaker 1: and realizing, like she's put her child in one of
Speaker 1: the most expensive sports there is and at this like
Speaker 1: dilemma of like I can't deprive my child of what
Speaker 1: I've already given her, and I don't know where to
Speaker 1: go from here to make it better, And like that
Speaker 1: just filled me with so much despair, like I and
Speaker 1: I did not I didn't respond to the email, like
Speaker 1: it just it caught me for so long and then
Speaker 1: I just forgot and I don't know, years later, I
Speaker 1: thought about it. But I don't want that struggle for
Speaker 1: any of you listening, And like maybe it's not horses,
Speaker 1: it's whatever, but I don't want that internal struggle for
Speaker 1: you that you have put your children and your family
Speaker 1: into this position to where in order to bring your
Speaker 1: family up, you'd have to take away something from somebody else.
Speaker 1: And sometimes that's going to have to be what it is.
Speaker 1: But if it doesn't have to be, think about the
Speaker 1: things we've talked about today and don't let it get
Speaker 1: to that place.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that is weighty, because you know, we don't
Speaker 3: want deprivation for anybody, not deprivation for deprivation's sake. Sometimes
Speaker 3: there are sacrifices that need to be made depending on
Speaker 3: our financial situation. But you're right, you're identifying, like choosing
Speaker 3: deprivation for somebody else that we love, that's a really,
Speaker 3: really rough place to be. Yeah, and maybe there's some
Speaker 3: other maneuvers that could happen in those circumstances. And I
Speaker 3: think the ultimate goal would be the why of how
Speaker 3: do we then get get back to this place? How
Speaker 3: could we make some changes where this could be something
Speaker 3: that is affordable for us?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, So thank you so much for listening. I hope
Speaker 1: that this was encouraging to you. If it was, we
Speaker 1: would love for you to leave a rating and review
Speaker 1: on Apple Podcasts like this one from Zia Amazon that says,
Speaker 1: great hosts and great discussions. I enjoy listening to the hosts.
Speaker 1: Their conversations are very fun to listen to, and they
Speaker 1: share very fun and practical tips that I can use.
Speaker 1: Their conversations with the guests are very insightful and I
Speaker 1: get a lot of perspective when it comes to financial insights.
Speaker 1: So thank you, Ziah. And if you didn't like it,
Speaker 1: leave us a rating and review on good Reads. No,
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding.
Speaker 3: Thanks everyone for listening. You can leave us a rating
Speaker 3: and review. We of course love the ones who are
Speaker 3: really enjoying this to help others who might enjoy it
Speaker 3: find us, and you can do that where if you're
Speaker 3: listening to podcasts, and also sign up for our newsletter
Speaker 3: because that's another great way to get even more tips.
Speaker 4: Beyond what we talk about.
Speaker 3: This podcast Google friendspodcast dot com, slash friend letter.
Speaker 1: See you next time. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, this one such a tough one mindset expectations.
Speaker 3: It did have me thinking about expectations a lot, like
Speaker 3: what do I think I'm going to get out of
Speaker 3: this life?
Speaker 6: What did I deep? For an after show? I'm sorry,
Speaker 6: you've done. I know you can't do that right now. Okay,
Speaker 6: I'm sorry. What's for dinner? What are you expecting to
Speaker 6: eat later? I don't even know anymore. I don't know
Speaker 6: what I want from this life for dinner. I think
Speaker 6: I have steak thawing.
Speaker 4: Whoa, I know, right, I.
Speaker 1: Get the big thing of steak that's like twenty bucks,
Speaker 1: so I can have it twice. Nice save on steak.
Speaker 4: Don't beef it up out