1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,600 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 1: the podcast, new listeners, old listeners, wherever you are in 3 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:10,119 Speaker 1: the world, it is so great to have you here. 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,960 Speaker 1: Back for another episode as we break down the psychology 5 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,680 Speaker 1: of our twenties, and also as we welcome you back 6 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 1: for our final episode of our New Year series. We 7 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:22,160 Speaker 1: have said our fame for the year. We've talked about 8 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,840 Speaker 1: the psychology of manifestation, we have looked back at the 9 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 1: psychology of New Year's resolutions, and today we are going 10 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 1: to talk about how we can be an effective, masterful 11 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,200 Speaker 1: goal setter. Of course, I think what we're talking about 12 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:41,519 Speaker 1: today applies all year round, but milestones or landmarks like 13 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 1: a new Year are really pivotal and do spur a 14 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,879 Speaker 1: lot of deep thinking about what we want from our 15 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:50,840 Speaker 1: life and whether we are seriously doing enough or motivating 16 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 1: ourselves to be in the right place to receive these things. 17 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,000 Speaker 1: But if you are listening not in the New Year, 18 00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: this still applies most certainly. Also think that if you 19 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: have a goal you really care about, you can start whenever. 20 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:08,959 Speaker 1: The hardest part is just the starting and your body 21 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 1: and your mind. You know your body is in particular, 22 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:13,520 Speaker 1: doesn't really know what time of the year it is 23 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 1: only you know that, so whenever it is a right 24 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,960 Speaker 1: time for you, you should be starting. And goals are 25 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: without a doubt, such an important thing for us, especially 26 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,039 Speaker 1: in our twenties. We want to save more, we want 27 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 1: to travel, we want to make more friends, we want 28 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 1: to take our health seriously, run marathons, rebuild our self worth. 29 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,080 Speaker 1: All these things are really important to focus on, and 30 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:39,119 Speaker 1: I think a life without goals can become awfully stagnant 31 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:42,600 Speaker 1: because how can we really be actioning a plan for 32 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:46,640 Speaker 1: the future or for our ambitions if we don't have 33 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,200 Speaker 1: any structure to our thinking, if we don't have anything 34 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 1: that we want to achieve. Don't get me wrong, though, 35 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 1: there are definitely times when we do need to rest 36 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: and be happy with where we are. I actually really 37 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:00,720 Speaker 1: do believe that there should be periods of life where 38 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 1: we are goalless, especially during our twenties, so we can 39 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,840 Speaker 1: just let ourselves explore and not be so focused on 40 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:11,640 Speaker 1: what comes next. But when it does come down to 41 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 1: setting goals, when we feel strongly, when we have a direction, 42 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 1: when we have something we really want to achieve, we 43 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,239 Speaker 1: want to do this in the most efficient way, and 44 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 1: maybe also get some joy from the process as well. Mainly, 45 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 1: I think we just want to be successful. So today 46 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,360 Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about my method that 47 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:36,560 Speaker 1: I have fine tuned over the years for setting good goals. 48 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:39,839 Speaker 1: And my formula is really based on three components. It's 49 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 1: based on effective articulation of our goals, meaning that we 50 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 1: set them and speak about them in a way that's 51 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,240 Speaker 1: powerful and isn't just based on I want, you know, 52 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 1: I want to save more, I want to be healthier. 53 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 1: We want to set our goals in a way that 54 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,840 Speaker 1: is deeper than that. Secondly, I want to give you 55 00:02:55,880 --> 00:03:00,640 Speaker 1: the equation for basically effortless inspiration and motivation that definitely 56 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,679 Speaker 1: provides less friction, so you don't have to keep motivating 57 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 1: yourself and getting back into the zone every morning every day. 58 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 1: And finally, how to take action even when you don't 59 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:15,200 Speaker 1: feel like it, And also how to make sure that 60 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: you don't experience what we call goal reversal where you 61 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: finally achieve this big thing that you want and then 62 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 1: slide right back to where you were before you started. 63 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,000 Speaker 1: That's something that we don't want to see happening. So 64 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: I want to give you my best tips for ensuring 65 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 1: that I'm feeling very inspired by this episode, very inspired 66 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 1: and excited by this topic because it's something that I 67 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: talk about to people in my own life all the time, 68 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 1: and I just have so many little tips and pieces 69 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: of advice that I have really curated over the years 70 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: that I'm excited to share. So, without further ado, let's 71 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: get into it. Before we dive into my six to 72 00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 1: seven steps for setting goals you'll actually achieve, I want 73 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 1: to talk about the three major setbacks that you are 74 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 1: most likely to face. The biggest one, top of my mind, 75 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: is a fear of failure. Plan and simple failure is 76 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: psychologically such an uncomfortable feeling and sensation that we would 77 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: rather accept the lesser failure of inaction than fear like 78 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 1: we've committed everything we had and still failed. Anyways, this 79 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 1: fear really stems from shame, not trusting our own abilities, 80 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:35,159 Speaker 1: and especially fearing the judgments of others. Another big thing 81 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,839 Speaker 1: that our fear of failure is linked to is perfectionism. 82 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:40,679 Speaker 1: I don't think that's a big surprise. There was a really, 83 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,360 Speaker 1: really fascinating two thousand and seven study that I found 84 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 1: when researching this topic that observed three hundred and seventy 85 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 1: two college students in a physical education class, and it 86 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:56,360 Speaker 1: found that for those who feared failure, who self reported 87 00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: that they feared failure, they were also more like to 88 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: rank higher on perfectionist traits because sometimes we like to 89 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: hide behind the idea that everything must be perfect to 90 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: avoid committing to action. And they were also the people 91 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:15,040 Speaker 1: who completed the tasks less frequently, even though they had 92 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 1: such high expectations for themselves. It actually had the opposite 93 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:23,360 Speaker 1: effect where their perfectionism basically froze them in place. They 94 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 1: were unable to act because they were so feared, so fearful, 95 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:31,480 Speaker 1: sorry of it not going right. This also explains why 96 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 1: another big obstacle for achieving our goals is procrastination. Oh 97 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 1: my goodness, procrastination. If I asked a room full of 98 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: one hundred people, like, why did you not achieve your 99 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,160 Speaker 1: goals last year? A lot of them would say because 100 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,360 Speaker 1: I just procrastinated until it felt like it was too late. 101 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:54,359 Speaker 1: We procrastinate because the start line is so daunting. That's 102 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 1: really where procrastination comes down to. What just beginning? The reason? 103 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: Because once we begin, once we start at something, we 104 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:08,680 Speaker 1: really only have three options fail, quit, succeed, that's it. 105 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,839 Speaker 1: Fail quit succeed that is scary odds. And if you 106 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,920 Speaker 1: don't believe in your own abilities, you are going to 107 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 1: see the likelihood of quitting or failing as far more 108 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,480 Speaker 1: likely due to the negative cognitive biases that you hold. 109 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 1: So we really put off doing anything. And that's a 110 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:30,560 Speaker 1: really big takeaway. Procrastination is not laziness. It's not because 111 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 1: you're not disciplined. It is because you are filled with 112 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 1: self doubt around what it would mean to start. So 113 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:41,520 Speaker 1: fear of failure, perfectionism, procrastination are huge ones. And you 114 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 1: know what, I can't give you a simple fix to 115 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 1: these things other than just to say I always like 116 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:51,960 Speaker 1: to picture these three horsemen of you know, of these 117 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 1: three horsemen of self doubt as something that lives inside 118 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,599 Speaker 1: my brain that I need to prove wrong. So I 119 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: actually I really like to personify my doubts as a 120 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:07,239 Speaker 1: childhood bully or a mean colleague, or like an internet troll, 121 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: because those are people that I don't respect, and so 122 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: I want to take that lack of respect for them 123 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 1: and apply it to these doubts, almost as a way 124 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 1: of saying, if I wouldn't listen to my childhood bully anymore? 125 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,400 Speaker 1: Why am I listening to my self doubt? They have 126 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: the same voice, that's really where they come from. Just 127 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: because my doubts are coming from my brain doesn't mean 128 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 1: they're true, doesn't mean I have to listen to them, 129 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,320 Speaker 1: and I would much prefer to prove them wrong. I 130 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 1: also like to play a hypothetical game that I'd like 131 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 1: to introduce to you as well. And the hypothetical is 132 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 1: what if I put these parts of myself in charge 133 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: at all times? So what if my fear of failure, 134 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 1: my procrastination, and my perfectionism got to be in charge 135 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 1: twenty four to seven? What would my life look like? 136 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 1: And you know, the conclusion I always reach is that 137 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:01,360 Speaker 1: it probably wouldn't look very good, would it. So I 138 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 1: try and name exactly what is holding me back from 139 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,760 Speaker 1: acting or committing to a goal, and if it has 140 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 1: anything to do with these reasons or my imposter syndrome, 141 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 1: I think, well, you know, I can't let the worst 142 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,440 Speaker 1: part of me dictate the best parts of me, and 143 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:18,800 Speaker 1: I can't let them win. So I'm just going to 144 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: do one thing today to prove them wrong. Sometimes, you know, 145 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 1: I think another component of this the reason why we 146 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 1: don't achieve our goals is because we're scared of hard work. 147 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,960 Speaker 1: So that I really like to say, what is there 148 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,960 Speaker 1: to be afraid of? What is hard work? Really, it's 149 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 1: just effort. It's not impossible, it's not going to hurt you. 150 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,240 Speaker 1: It's actually really really valuable. It builds so much strength, 151 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:45,520 Speaker 1: it builds so much pride, it builds so much self 152 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:49,720 Speaker 1: confidence to see a mountain and climb it. Anyways, Okay, 153 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,640 Speaker 1: so those were really I think the main barriers that 154 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,760 Speaker 1: come to the top of my mind when it comes 155 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:58,160 Speaker 1: to not just goal setting but goal achievement. And the 156 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 1: good news is that we can actually counteract them in 157 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,599 Speaker 1: many many ways. And before I articulate, you know, the 158 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 1: procedure for setting a good goal, I think we firstly 159 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,600 Speaker 1: need to eliminate some of the self doubt that shrouds 160 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:15,119 Speaker 1: goal setting by really focusing on how we feel internally. 161 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:20,119 Speaker 1: When we feel confident internally and we feel self assured 162 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:24,440 Speaker 1: and masterful, that really allows us to be committed. So 163 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 1: I want you to start with some affirmations and really 164 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 1: be in the right mindset and to be speaking about 165 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:35,680 Speaker 1: your intentions in an uplifting, enabling way rather than a 166 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 1: self punishing guilty way. So say with me, I want 167 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: to do this for me. I want to make myself proud. 168 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 1: I want to see, for once in my life how 169 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 1: far I can push myself And really tell yourself throughout 170 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 1: this process that you're really looking for looking forward to 171 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,439 Speaker 1: the day when you can say, I did it, really 172 00:09:56,559 --> 00:10:00,600 Speaker 1: visualize the finish line for me, don't I ruminate on 173 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 1: how difficult the thing will be. You know, our brains 174 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:07,440 Speaker 1: are naturally resistant to experiences that we believe are challenging 175 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 1: or negative. So how you speak to yourself about your 176 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:16,440 Speaker 1: goal matters. And if it's future focused, if it's positively focused, 177 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:20,800 Speaker 1: if it's aspirational, if it's with pride and confidence that 178 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 1: is going to dominate over the negative, doubtful thoughts. This 179 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:30,400 Speaker 1: is like a really really key ingredient to this process. Secondly, 180 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:34,640 Speaker 1: a really big component of setting good goals is that 181 00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:37,720 Speaker 1: your goals should actually be limited. So really your only 182 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 1: focus on one to two goals at a time, rather 183 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:46,240 Speaker 1: than trying to have five, six, seven, you know, pans 184 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: pots on the fire. You know, you don't want to 185 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 1: have a million things that you need to change at once, 186 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,400 Speaker 1: because it's not going to be fun. It's going to 187 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 1: be so much effort and you're not going to be committed. 188 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: So focusing on only one to two goals at a 189 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 1: time is truly essential. And the reason why is because 190 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 1: the brain obviously actually has limited capacity for attention and 191 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 1: decision making. So this is a theory basically supported by 192 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 1: cognitive load and goal setting theory. When we attempt to 193 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 1: tackle too many goals simultaneously, so at the same time, 194 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 1: our cognitive resources like attention, like energy, like discipline, and 195 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 1: like willpower, they become divided and that leads to diminished 196 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: focus and productivity. This often results in something that we 197 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:42,719 Speaker 1: call goal conflict. So that is where competing priorities make 198 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 1: it harder to achieve any single goal effectively. By narrowing 199 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,640 Speaker 1: your focus, by trying not to do it all, you 200 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:55,960 Speaker 1: actually really leverage the power of sustaining deep focus and work. 201 00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:01,000 Speaker 1: And you mean it basically means that your cortex, all 202 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,600 Speaker 1: the areas of your brain that are responsible for decision 203 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:09,400 Speaker 1: making and for activating hard work, they're not stressed, they're 204 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,160 Speaker 1: not put under too much pressure. That's not trying to 205 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,960 Speaker 1: juggle a million things more than it can handle. Additionally, 206 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,079 Speaker 1: when you achieve a small goal, or you have one 207 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 1: to two things that you focus on, you'll probably achieve 208 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:25,440 Speaker 1: them faster, and that really gives you a positive feedback loop. 209 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 1: That means that in the future you feel more confident 210 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 1: in your ability to set a goal and meet it. 211 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:34,040 Speaker 1: Of course, you know, obviously there is a lot that 212 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 1: we want to achieve in our life or in the year. 213 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 1: And I remember back in the day, I would set 214 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:42,000 Speaker 1: my New Years resolutions and I'd be like, Okay, so 215 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,960 Speaker 1: I want to run a half marathon, but at the 216 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 1: same time, I also want to gain heaps a muscle 217 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 1: and at the same time, I want to be a 218 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 1: straight A student. But I want to have time for 219 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,040 Speaker 1: my family, and I want to volunteer and I want 220 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 1: to get better at this, and I want to start 221 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 1: my own business. Too much, way too much. So if 222 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 1: you do have a lot that you want to achieve 223 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,680 Speaker 1: in a year, I would really advise you to split 224 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 1: your year into thirds so you can focus on one 225 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 1: to two goals per third. So from January to April 226 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 1: you're focusing on fitness. Once those habits have become entrenched 227 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,880 Speaker 1: and part of your routine, you shift to focusing on 228 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 1: your career for the next four months, and then a 229 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:27,040 Speaker 1: passion project for the final one. It's not that you'll 230 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 1: be neglecting those areas in the other you know, whatever, 231 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,440 Speaker 1: my god, brain quick math eight months, there we go 232 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 1: in the other eight months that you're not doing them. 233 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:40,200 Speaker 1: It's just that the sustained focus, the majority of your focus, 234 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 1: will be going to that area for that period all 235 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:47,200 Speaker 1: too often, and I'm so so guilty of doing this. 236 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:51,600 Speaker 1: We get that like burst of energy to transform our 237 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:55,200 Speaker 1: life and like tackle every single habit or area of 238 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 1: who we are in an instant, and it actually doesn't help. 239 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:02,960 Speaker 1: We think that we I think the reason that we 240 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,920 Speaker 1: do that is because we think that inspiration alone will 241 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,480 Speaker 1: be enough to motivate ourselves. But actually, when it comes 242 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:12,960 Speaker 1: down to sustained work and sustained effort, slow and steady 243 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:17,080 Speaker 1: ri rins the races. I've always found that to be true, 244 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 1: and the science definitely says it as well. You know, 245 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 1: researchers have found time and time again that people who 246 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 1: try to accomplish multiple goals at the same time are 247 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,640 Speaker 1: less committed and they're less likely to achieve those goals. 248 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 1: So if you want to be successful, focus on ideally 249 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,480 Speaker 1: a single or two goals. At a time. Third, once 250 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:41,440 Speaker 1: you have chosen your focus area, I want you to 251 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:45,600 Speaker 1: write your goals down. And the more creative the better. 252 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,960 Speaker 1: The more parts of your brain that you can activate 253 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:52,680 Speaker 1: when you put your goals onto paper the better. So 254 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 1: spelling them out, using dots, doing big bold letters, and 255 00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:01,240 Speaker 1: coloring them in get your brain canmitted by making the 256 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 1: process of writing down your goals a almost like artistic pursuit. 257 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:12,400 Speaker 1: Make it a physical action. You know. I read a 258 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:16,360 Speaker 1: really fascinating study recently published in Time magazine that said 259 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:20,080 Speaker 1: about eighty seven percent of the goals or things that 260 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:23,479 Speaker 1: we are aiming to do, we never actually write down. 261 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,360 Speaker 1: And guess how many of those eighty seven percent of 262 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:30,200 Speaker 1: goals that are never written down end up failing. A 263 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 1: follow up study found that people who write their goals 264 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:37,080 Speaker 1: down they are almost fifty percent more likely to achieve 265 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 1: them than those who don't. So I really want you 266 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,880 Speaker 1: to embrace this simple act. Even though it's so simple 267 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:47,360 Speaker 1: it could be forgotten. Please don't forget it. Write down 268 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:52,480 Speaker 1: those goals that you've chosen in a creative manner. Fourth, 269 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 1: once you have your one to two goals written down, 270 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 1: I want you to reframe them into something that is 271 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 1: based on your character, not just your ambitions. So instead 272 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,600 Speaker 1: of saying I want to be healthier, I want to 273 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:11,880 Speaker 1: run ten kilometers, I want to eat better. Say I 274 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:17,160 Speaker 1: am someone who values health. I am someone who values fitness. 275 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:21,240 Speaker 1: Instead of saying I want to make more friends, start 276 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:25,200 Speaker 1: saying I am someone who is highly social. So I 277 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:30,160 Speaker 1: first heard about this strategy in James Clear's book Atomic Habits, 278 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,040 Speaker 1: wonderful book, and when I read this, it blew my 279 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:36,960 Speaker 1: mind and it really made me question why any of 280 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 1: us were ever setting goals the old fashioned way, starting 281 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 1: with I want I want to run a marathon. I 282 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:46,640 Speaker 1: want a million dollars. Instead of saying I am someone 283 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,920 Speaker 1: who runs a lot, I am someone who is good 284 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,720 Speaker 1: with money. I am someone who is innovative. Because statements 285 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 1: like that, I feel like, just naturally, we know they 286 00:16:56,040 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 1: spur better action, they spur real action, specifically, because it's 287 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,400 Speaker 1: not about what you can do what you would like, 288 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:08,520 Speaker 1: it's about who you are and something that I found 289 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 1: to be true. Your character is non negotiable. Character personality, 290 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:16,440 Speaker 1: it's constant. You can't always say the same thing about 291 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 1: your goals, so you know you don't give up on 292 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 1: being yourself or abandon who you are after just one 293 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,520 Speaker 1: step back, the way that you might give up on 294 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:28,480 Speaker 1: a goal. You don't say, oh, my gosh, I missed 295 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,679 Speaker 1: a run today, so I guess I'm no longer a runner. 296 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:35,119 Speaker 1: Like that's it. You know. You don't say, oh, I 297 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:37,639 Speaker 1: forgot to write in my gratitude journal today, so I 298 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,119 Speaker 1: guess I'm no longer a grateful person. I'm a terrible 299 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 1: person now because of this one thing. No, we give 300 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:47,160 Speaker 1: up on our goals a lot easier then we give 301 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:50,400 Speaker 1: up on our character. So make whatever your goal is 302 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:55,320 Speaker 1: not just like an actionable, achievable want or a task, 303 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 1: but of part of your life, philosophy, part of who 304 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:02,840 Speaker 1: you are the person. And I think then our instinct 305 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:06,520 Speaker 1: to work towards your goal just becomes naturally more powerful 306 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:09,199 Speaker 1: because the stakes are higher. You're saying, well, this is 307 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,359 Speaker 1: who I am, so of course I'm going to do 308 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,320 Speaker 1: this versus this is who I want. And so often 309 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:17,200 Speaker 1: it's so easy to neglect our once, it's a lot 310 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,680 Speaker 1: harder to neglect who you actually are at your core. 311 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:23,800 Speaker 1: So these first four or five steps, that is your 312 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 1: formula for articulating your desires and your ambitions through good 313 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,760 Speaker 1: goal setting but let's move on to the hard part, 314 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:35,400 Speaker 1: the action part that is our second hurdle in this journey. 315 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:43,639 Speaker 1: All of that and more after this short break before 316 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:47,480 Speaker 1: we talk about how to action our goals. I really 317 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 1: want to ensure that the biggest takeaway you get from 318 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:53,200 Speaker 1: this is that you should and you must be showing 319 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:57,720 Speaker 1: up imperfectly. The only thing worse than a bad workout 320 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,680 Speaker 1: is no workout at all. The only thing worse then 321 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:04,120 Speaker 1: a dollar saved is zero dollars saved. Hopefully you get 322 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,639 Speaker 1: the picture. We are so quick to embrace all or 323 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,320 Speaker 1: nothing thinking with our goals because often our intrinsic fear 324 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:16,359 Speaker 1: of failure can't account for even the smallest indication of 325 00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:20,280 Speaker 1: a step back or a mistake. Additionally, I think at 326 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,920 Speaker 1: the beginning of setting a goal, we are so inspired 327 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:27,520 Speaker 1: and motivated that we overestimate things like our consistency in 328 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,840 Speaker 1: our discipline and how easy it will be to implement 329 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,159 Speaker 1: changes in our lives, and we underestimate the change is 330 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 1: hard for everyone. Everyone change is really hard. The person 331 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,240 Speaker 1: that you admire more than anything for what they've achieved, 332 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:48,680 Speaker 1: has been unmotivated at times, has procrastinated, has struck things 333 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,720 Speaker 1: off there to do this that they probably should have done. 334 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 1: The only way to show up consistently is to allow 335 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:59,000 Speaker 1: yourself to show up imperfectly. Letting yourself show up as 336 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:01,800 Speaker 1: who you are, how you are, and with whatever it 337 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,560 Speaker 1: is you have to give, whatever is in the tank 338 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,800 Speaker 1: that day. That is the secret to discipline, That is 339 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,199 Speaker 1: the secret to getting things done. So I also want 340 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:13,159 Speaker 1: to say, don't be afraid to be seen trying and 341 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:17,040 Speaker 1: to go slow. Going slow is faster than doing nothing 342 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,560 Speaker 1: at all, So you always have something to be proud of. 343 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 1: Even if the progress isn't happening as fast as you 344 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:28,480 Speaker 1: would want it to, isn't linear, it's still happening. Here 345 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:33,920 Speaker 1: are my other actual tips for actioning your goals. Make 346 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:38,119 Speaker 1: it as easy as possible. Give yourself the gift of 347 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 1: the path of least resistance. So the path of least 348 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:46,480 Speaker 1: resistance is one that has limited distractions, limited temptations, and 349 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,400 Speaker 1: makes discipline this status quo. So you don't have to 350 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,200 Speaker 1: use up all the energy that you should be using 351 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,119 Speaker 1: for your goals on just trying to stay on track 352 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,120 Speaker 1: and put yourself back on track. So, if you want 353 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,920 Speaker 1: to be successful what you're doing, you know, if you 354 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,920 Speaker 1: want to save money, don't agree to follow around your 355 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,440 Speaker 1: friend at your favorite store. If you want to exercise more, 356 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,280 Speaker 1: don't convince yourself that you're going to go in the 357 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:14,080 Speaker 1: evening when you're most tired. Go in the morning. If 358 00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:16,960 Speaker 1: you want to put more time towards your passion project 359 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 1: or your creative project, don't sign up for more responsibilities 360 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,200 Speaker 1: at work. If you want to eat more whole foods, 361 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,560 Speaker 1: more nutritious foods, don't go shopping when you're hungry and 362 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,840 Speaker 1: you're craving like just sugar and fat and yummy goodness. 363 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,760 Speaker 1: Set up your future self to be able to make 364 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,760 Speaker 1: the decisions that will best suit your goal in the easiest, 365 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:40,480 Speaker 1: most straightforward environment. Something else that really helps me in 366 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:45,040 Speaker 1: this process is to actually set implementation intentions. These are 367 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 1: otherwise known as if then plans. So this was an 368 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 1: idea developed by the psychologists Elizabeth Parkerstam and Peter Golwitzer Sidner. 369 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,639 Speaker 1: I love that the word goal is literally in this 370 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:59,720 Speaker 1: man's name Goalwitzer. Anyways, side's the point the Bremers that 371 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,399 Speaker 1: they laid out, and I think it was there. I 372 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:03,920 Speaker 1: might get the date wrong. I think it was around 373 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:08,560 Speaker 1: two thousand and nine, twenty ten paper The premise was 374 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:13,359 Speaker 1: that we need to cue our goal directed behavior and 375 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:16,920 Speaker 1: tie it to a situation, so when that situation comes up, 376 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,480 Speaker 1: we know that we have to act in a certain way. 377 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:24,640 Speaker 1: So for example, and if then intention could be if 378 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,080 Speaker 1: I wake up at seven am, then I will go 379 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,840 Speaker 1: to the gym. If I wake up at eight am, 380 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,479 Speaker 1: then I will walk to work. If I feel tempted 381 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:36,040 Speaker 1: to scroll social media, then I will set a ten 382 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:40,400 Speaker 1: minute timer before I allow myself to If it's the weekend, 383 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,360 Speaker 1: then I will schedule time with my friends and family. 384 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 1: I feel like you get the gist. The benefit of 385 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,920 Speaker 1: this is that it helps us see is a goal 386 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:52,600 Speaker 1: relevant opportunity when it's available, rather than waiting for the 387 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:56,359 Speaker 1: time to feel right for us. It also creates, you know, 388 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,919 Speaker 1: structure and rules that make performing a behavior will habiti 389 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:04,359 Speaker 1: and therefore easier. Research has really shown like this isn't. 390 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,600 Speaker 1: The research around this is incredible, and it's shown that 391 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:12,800 Speaker 1: implementation intentions do help individuals seize the opportunity to act 392 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:16,320 Speaker 1: when it is presented to them. So there was a 393 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,800 Speaker 1: really great another paper on this from a few years back, 394 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,320 Speaker 1: and they had a I don't even know how many participants, 395 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,200 Speaker 1: but it was a large number, and they found that 396 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:32,960 Speaker 1: seventy percent of participants who had set implementation intentions actually 397 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 1: took greater opportunity of those opportunities compared to only thirty 398 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:42,760 Speaker 1: three percent of participants who only had goals. So, for example, 399 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:45,960 Speaker 1: if let's choose that first one if at seven am, 400 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,480 Speaker 1: then I will go to the gym, seventy percent of 401 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,440 Speaker 1: people who had that intention would go to the gym 402 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,040 Speaker 1: at seven am versus thirty three percent of the people 403 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:56,600 Speaker 1: who just had a goal would go. So huge difference there. 404 00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,080 Speaker 1: So what I want you to do is jot down 405 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:03,560 Speaker 1: three to five if then implementation intentions for your chosen 406 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,520 Speaker 1: goal or goals. And you can also read the chapter 407 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,040 Speaker 1: about this in the book The Psychology of Goals, very 408 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,359 Speaker 1: appropriate name and the benefits of IF then planning. I'll 409 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,200 Speaker 1: leave a little link in the description. It's really really 410 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:20,840 Speaker 1: fascinating as well. So speaking of cues, we have those 411 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:25,040 Speaker 1: situational cues for behaviors, but then we can also have 412 00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 1: reinforcement or motivational cues which trigger us to feel excited 413 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,320 Speaker 1: and motivated by a goal. So these are a lot 414 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:37,239 Speaker 1: more simple because basically we just want to use them 415 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,639 Speaker 1: to make sure that the goal doesn't leave your mind. 416 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,560 Speaker 1: It's something that we are constantly reminded of. We can 417 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,760 Speaker 1: do that by having a picture of something attached to 418 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:50,000 Speaker 1: your goal, as your lock screen is your wallpaper on 419 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 1: your phone, having vision boards we talked about that in 420 00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 1: the Psychology of Manifestation episode, Having a reminder that pops 421 00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:02,199 Speaker 1: up on your phone at different times, anything that is 422 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:06,159 Speaker 1: keeping that goal in the present for you rather than 423 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:09,000 Speaker 1: is something that, oh, I wish i'd started three months ago. No, 424 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:13,119 Speaker 1: you're actively still on the path to achieving it. So important. 425 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,399 Speaker 1: A lot of what is motivational for us is what 426 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,800 Speaker 1: is available to us. So if we can see and 427 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,719 Speaker 1: be reminded of what we want to achieve, we are 428 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:26,080 Speaker 1: more likely to partake in actions that achieve Those things 429 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,560 Speaker 1: also really leverage the power of visualization, Like when you 430 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:33,000 Speaker 1: are feeling low stuck, like you really just do not 431 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,960 Speaker 1: give a fuck why that rhymed doctor SUICIVI here anyways, 432 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,920 Speaker 1: When you are feeling that way, really visualize yourself achieving 433 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:46,560 Speaker 1: the goal. Visualize yourself romanticizing the process. Visualize yourself in 434 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:51,040 Speaker 1: situation that you want to find yourself in. Visualize feel, taste, touch, 435 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,399 Speaker 1: the emotions that will go that will be very much 436 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,639 Speaker 1: coursing through you at the point of achievement, at the 437 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,760 Speaker 1: point of success, we want to keep this as an 438 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:04,440 Speaker 1: apt active thought in our mind. Another really important tip 439 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:08,200 Speaker 1: is to habit stack, so find ways to do two 440 00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,280 Speaker 1: three things at once, you know. I think that a 441 00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 1: massive reason that we struggle with goals is time. Time 442 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:18,800 Speaker 1: is the one real finite thing that we have to face, well, 443 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,119 Speaker 1: one of the main finite things we have to face 444 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,400 Speaker 1: when we're trying to achieve whatever it is that we're 445 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,359 Speaker 1: setting out to achieve. So you have to remember that 446 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,479 Speaker 1: time is something that you can elongate almost you can 447 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,720 Speaker 1: fill with multiple activities. Do two or three things at once. 448 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:38,160 Speaker 1: Exercise whilst you socialize, you know, go on walks with friends, 449 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,600 Speaker 1: listening to podcasts while you shower and get ready, stretching 450 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:45,639 Speaker 1: whilst watching TV, journaling on the train. Time is a 451 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,399 Speaker 1: space that can be filled again with multiple things. So 452 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:53,040 Speaker 1: if you are someone who can multitask, take advantage of that. 453 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: If you are someone who can't, that is also okay. 454 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,040 Speaker 1: I feel like you just need to make sure that 455 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:01,800 Speaker 1: you really concentrate on one task in going very deep 456 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:05,359 Speaker 1: with that task at any given time and really try 457 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,399 Speaker 1: and save your energy that way by just devoting all 458 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:12,800 Speaker 1: your resources to the one thing that you're focusing on now. Finally, 459 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,159 Speaker 1: the main course of tips that I have for you 460 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:19,200 Speaker 1: today when it comes to taking action, breaking down whatever 461 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:23,639 Speaker 1: goal intension that you have into a daily habit, a 462 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:28,879 Speaker 1: weekly accomplishment, a monthly win, and then the overall goal. 463 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 1: So the reason we should really be doing this, more 464 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,919 Speaker 1: of us should be doing this is based on what 465 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:39,320 Speaker 1: we call the goal gradient effect. So breaking larger goals 466 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:44,080 Speaker 1: into smaller goals and smaller tasks I guess makes them 467 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:47,920 Speaker 1: feel more manageable. It keeps our motivation high. So which 468 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 1: one is going to sound more achievable to you right now? 469 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:54,680 Speaker 1: I want to save a million dollars or I want 470 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:58,400 Speaker 1: to save fifty dollars this week? I feel like that's 471 00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:01,280 Speaker 1: just such an obvious one. Right. So when you start 472 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:04,159 Speaker 1: with micro goals, you know, those small actions that you 473 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:07,040 Speaker 1: can accomplish in a day, an hour, a week and 474 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:11,040 Speaker 1: gradually build momentum, you will just give yourself a better chance. 475 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:15,920 Speaker 1: What this also prevents is goal fatigue. So we set 476 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,440 Speaker 1: a big goal and it feels so intangible and far 477 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:23,520 Speaker 1: away that we can lose steam we can feel like 478 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,240 Speaker 1: we don't have what it takes to get there. So 479 00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:28,960 Speaker 1: when we break it down, sounds so common sense, but 480 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:32,280 Speaker 1: it does feel doable, it feels rewarding, and we can 481 00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:37,359 Speaker 1: actually see how our actions are creating progress. So using 482 00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:41,280 Speaker 1: that money example, say your goal is to save ten 483 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:45,480 Speaker 1: thousand dollars. Your daily habit is to make your lunch 484 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:49,480 Speaker 1: at home. Your weekly accomplishment is to not buy anything 485 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:53,560 Speaker 1: any new clothes that week, any new items. Your monthly 486 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,440 Speaker 1: goal is to save a certain amount of your paycheck. 487 00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:59,600 Speaker 1: Say I don't know, ten percent, whatever it is that 488 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 1: works for you. All of that adds up, so again, 489 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:08,880 Speaker 1: daily habit, weekly accomplishment, monthly goal, overall goal. And the 490 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,880 Speaker 1: beautiful part about this is that you can really do 491 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:14,160 Speaker 1: it for anything. You can do it for any area 492 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,640 Speaker 1: or a topic or theme of goal that you have. 493 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,520 Speaker 1: I think if you build all these skills, hopefully once 494 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,800 Speaker 1: you achieve what you're after, you don't lose the habits 495 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,640 Speaker 1: and the mindset that has brought you there. That is 496 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,960 Speaker 1: definitely my hope for you. Many of us will, though, 497 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:36,200 Speaker 1: experience goal reversal, also known as goal regression. Goal disengagement 498 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,680 Speaker 1: has a couple of names Basically, it occurs when we 499 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:43,719 Speaker 1: get everything we wanted, We've worked so hard, and then 500 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:47,360 Speaker 1: we just become completely disinterested. We feel like we either 501 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:51,600 Speaker 1: have plateaued or we fall completely off because you know, well, 502 00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,840 Speaker 1: we've done the thing, We've done the thing we're striving for. 503 00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:59,160 Speaker 1: Why continue to be in a growth or stretched mental 504 00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:03,800 Speaker 1: state when we've done. We also tend to experience what 505 00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:07,360 Speaker 1: we call a post achievement letdown, also known as gold 506 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:12,560 Speaker 1: medal syndrome. So that's named after Olympians who experience emptiness 507 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:17,280 Speaker 1: worthlessness basically like a general lack of motivation after winning gold. 508 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,760 Speaker 1: You know you might not be an Olympian, but you 509 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:23,560 Speaker 1: will still experience this because it is psychological, and so 510 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,440 Speaker 1: to safeguard against it, I really want you to celebrate 511 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:31,200 Speaker 1: your wins before raising the bar. I saw a beautiful 512 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:33,520 Speaker 1: quote the other day. It's like, maybe you don't know, 513 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:35,960 Speaker 1: you don't recognize how far you've come because you're always 514 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,040 Speaker 1: raising the bar. And that is really a real threat 515 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,400 Speaker 1: and a real danger in these situations. Once you have 516 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,840 Speaker 1: been successful at the thing that you wanted to do, 517 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:50,960 Speaker 1: give yourself a two week break to a rest. Please. 518 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 1: Rest is literally the fuel that you need for your goals. 519 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,360 Speaker 1: Anyone who says otherwise does not know what they're talking about. 520 00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 1: You need rest, perform and give yourself space to be 521 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:07,480 Speaker 1: proud and to get prepared for whatever it is that's 522 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:11,280 Speaker 1: coming next for you, anything that you are really keen 523 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:15,200 Speaker 1: on in the future. I also think to guard against complacency, 524 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:19,480 Speaker 1: you can also shift from doing to contributing or sharing 525 00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:23,120 Speaker 1: your achievement, so joining a club like a run club 526 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:26,160 Speaker 1: or something where you can share your expertise, joining a 527 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:30,920 Speaker 1: savings club, sharing what you've learned, or putting out a 528 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:34,320 Speaker 1: recap of your achievement and your journey on social media. 529 00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,480 Speaker 1: Or make a podcast. You know that's my favorite one here, 530 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,800 Speaker 1: make a podcast it's so much fun. Or a YouTube video, 531 00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:43,600 Speaker 1: or a photo album. Photo album another big one, a 532 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:47,160 Speaker 1: scrapbook of how you've gotten to where you are, just 533 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,880 Speaker 1: a way of solidifying to your future self as well 534 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,520 Speaker 1: that hard things are possible for you and also to 535 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:59,520 Speaker 1: inspire others. I also think that if along this pathway 536 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:04,800 Speaker 1: you have focused on identity rather than achievement, this continual 537 00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:09,240 Speaker 1: progress and a revision, a healthy, sustainable revision, I might add, 538 00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:12,600 Speaker 1: of a long term goal, it will still match our 539 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 1: lifestyle and so our attitude towards it becomes easier. Right 540 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,760 Speaker 1: if you are someone who was healthy, if you are 541 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:22,960 Speaker 1: someone who prioritizes fitness, yes you might reach that goal 542 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,960 Speaker 1: of that milestone that you had in mind. But then 543 00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:29,160 Speaker 1: you'll also be able to continue on with the lifestyle 544 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,520 Speaker 1: and the pattern of habits because you have built them 545 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:37,840 Speaker 1: up in a really, really healthy, healthy way. Okay, for 546 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:41,680 Speaker 1: my final little tidbit before we finish up this episode, 547 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,120 Speaker 1: I want to also state, because this is really important, 548 00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:48,480 Speaker 1: we want a balanced approach to this. So it's okay 549 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,400 Speaker 1: you to not always be striving for anything and sometimes 550 00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:55,280 Speaker 1: just existing. You know, you are not a constant project. 551 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,640 Speaker 1: You're not something that's unfinished. You are not something to 552 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,760 Speaker 1: be fixed and to be made better. So when you 553 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,120 Speaker 1: do cross the finish line, and you will cross the 554 00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,840 Speaker 1: finish line, I believe it. I know it to be true. 555 00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:12,800 Speaker 1: Congratulate yourself, celebrate, maybe even consider taking a rest, just 556 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,880 Speaker 1: being okay with having done the big thing. You know, 557 00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:18,320 Speaker 1: people who run marathons don't go and run a marathon 558 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,000 Speaker 1: the next day unless they do, in which case I 559 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,800 Speaker 1: could never be you. But congratulations. What I'm trying to 560 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:27,880 Speaker 1: say is most of us do have periods of rest 561 00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:33,760 Speaker 1: and of steadiness, and someone call it stagnation. I like 562 00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:37,360 Speaker 1: to just call it steadiness in between big goals. And 563 00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:41,200 Speaker 1: that's totally okay. You know, old you, the past version 564 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,120 Speaker 1: of you who took that first step over the start line, 565 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:48,760 Speaker 1: despite their fear of failure, despite procrastination, they would just 566 00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 1: be so proud and shocked that you made it. And 567 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:54,120 Speaker 1: so that's something to just really celebrate and hold deer 568 00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:58,400 Speaker 1: and feel really incredible about before you start on the 569 00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:00,880 Speaker 1: next thing. So take a cup of weeks off, maybe 570 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,200 Speaker 1: even take a couple of months off, whatever it is 571 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:05,560 Speaker 1: a few days, like whatever it is that floats your boat. 572 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:09,480 Speaker 1: You also deserve those off periods as well. But with 573 00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,960 Speaker 1: that being said, I hope you learned something important and valuable, 574 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:18,640 Speaker 1: scientific exciting about how to set good goals. This formula 575 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:22,680 Speaker 1: is one that I use and it just works so 576 00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:25,920 Speaker 1: well for me to have all of these little factors 577 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:29,080 Speaker 1: and elements in mind that allow me to set a 578 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,480 Speaker 1: really good intention, make it part of who I am, 579 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,200 Speaker 1: make sure that I am tuned in and focused on 580 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:38,200 Speaker 1: that thing. I just show up consistently. I give myself 581 00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,600 Speaker 1: the path of least resistance. I do all those things 582 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,640 Speaker 1: to make it happen, so I hope that it helps 583 00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:46,439 Speaker 1: you as well. Share this episode with a family member, 584 00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:49,319 Speaker 1: of friend, someone you think needs to hear this, or 585 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:52,560 Speaker 1: on your Instagram story. I love seeing where you're listening, 586 00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:56,000 Speaker 1: and I always repost wherever that is, so we'd love 587 00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:59,040 Speaker 1: to see where you're listening to this episode and make 588 00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:02,160 Speaker 1: sure you're following us long at that Psychology podcast, because 589 00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:05,680 Speaker 1: we also take episodes suggestions. Just DM me and I 590 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,200 Speaker 1: will be sure to get back to you or someone 591 00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:11,280 Speaker 1: from the team. Definitely will because we're on the hunt 592 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:15,080 Speaker 1: for new ideas for twenty twenty five. And with all 593 00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:18,560 Speaker 1: that being said, again, thanks for listening, Stay safe, be kind, 594 00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:21,680 Speaker 1: be gentle to yourself, and we will talk very very soon.