1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:10,120 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: This is Laura, Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,480 Speaker 1: episode is going to be a longer one. It's part 4 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: of my series of interviews with people talking about how 5 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:26,239 Speaker 1: they take their days from great to awesome. I am 6 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 1: so excited to introduce you today to Kathleen Paley, who 7 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:34,160 Speaker 1: is a lawyer, a dedicated volunteer, a mother, and a podcaster, 8 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: among other things. And what I love about talking with 9 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:40,400 Speaker 1: Kathleen is that she is always looking for ways to 10 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 1: make the world around her better as she is also 11 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 1: looking for ways to make her own life run well. So, Kathleen, 12 00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 1: welcome to the show. 13 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 2: Good morning, Thank you for having me. I'm just honored 14 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:52,480 Speaker 2: to be here. 15 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: Awesome. Well, please tell our little listeners a little bit 16 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 1: about yourself. 17 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 2: Well, I'll try not to repeat what you do share, 18 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 2: but you're right. I'm a lawyer and a mom. I 19 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:08,960 Speaker 2: have two teen preteen kiddos, and I'm a litigator of 20 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 2: the big law firm in DC. And you put those 21 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 2: together and that's a lot to handle. But I don't 22 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 2: want that to be all of life. So I have 23 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 2: a few volunteer gigs and have so many kind of 24 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:28,640 Speaker 2: thoughts about using our time and our resources in effective 25 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 2: efficient ways that I was like, you know what, I 26 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 2: got to start a podcast too to talk about all this. 27 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 2: So there are a lot of balls in the air, 28 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,479 Speaker 2: and that makes for a very busy but also very 29 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 2: fun life. 30 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: Awesome. Well, I wonder if you could talk through a 31 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 1: little bit about your morning routine, and from what I understand, 32 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 1: you have more of a hybrid schedule where some days 33 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: you are working from home and some days you are 34 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 1: in your office, and obviously some days you're on the 35 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,400 Speaker 1: road as well. But maybe you could talk through what 36 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: your morning routine looks like on those different days and 37 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 1: how you figured out what works for you. 38 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 2: All right, yes, you are very correct, I will say, 39 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 2: the days they're on the road, I have no morning 40 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 2: routine except get up and just like start grinding for work. 41 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 2: But when home there are two kind of templates Mondays 42 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:18,560 Speaker 2: and Fridays. I work from home and that gives a 43 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 2: lot of flexibility in terms of how the morning goes. Now, 44 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,240 Speaker 2: one of the things I think is incredibly valuable to 45 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 2: my own values and like the life I want to 46 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,560 Speaker 2: live is I want to take my kids to the 47 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,920 Speaker 2: bus stop, and so even though I have a teen 48 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 2: who is over six feet tall and does not want 49 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,080 Speaker 2: to be taken to the bus stop, we still walk 50 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,960 Speaker 2: together in the morning and it's a nice few minutes 51 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:46,000 Speaker 2: to just chat and very relaxed. So on work from 52 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 2: home mornings, I get up at six fifteen and we 53 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 2: are out the door by six thirty going to the 54 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 2: bus stop. But that gives a lot of flexibility between 55 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:58,760 Speaker 2: about six thirty and nine o'clock. Now, I used to 56 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,080 Speaker 2: feel like as soon as I was done with like 57 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 2: official parental duties, I should start working, So by six 58 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,400 Speaker 2: forty five or seven am, I should be doing you know, 59 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:14,640 Speaker 2: billable lawyery work. And with time I realized that that 60 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 2: does not build the kind of life I want. I'm 61 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 2: going to do all the work that needs to be done, 62 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,880 Speaker 2: but it doesn't need to be done at that time. 63 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 2: So now on those mornings when I'm working from home, 64 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 2: between about six forty five and nine o'clock, I use 65 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:33,200 Speaker 2: that time for things that I find valuable. That includes 66 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 2: things like at this point, drafting podcast scripts and reading 67 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 2: and spending time with my other kid, or going Sometimes 68 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 2: I just go for a walk and it's just lovely, 69 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 2: especially now that the fall weather is starting to arrive, 70 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 2: to just go for a walk, stretch your legs, clear 71 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 2: your thoughts, get sort of energized for the day. And 72 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 2: so that means two Mores, Mondays and Fridays, I have 73 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:05,440 Speaker 2: about two and a half hours of flexible time to 74 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:10,120 Speaker 2: do stuff that I find life affirming. I also throw 75 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 2: in a load of laundry, you know, unload the dishwasher, 76 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 2: do those sorts of things to keep you know, the 77 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 2: daily rhythms of family life going. But those don't actually 78 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,720 Speaker 2: take all that much time. They take kind of a 79 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 2: mental load, but they don't take a lot of time. So, 80 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 2: you know, this morning, we're filming on a Friday, and 81 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 2: I took the kid to the bus stop, and then 82 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:35,159 Speaker 2: I wrote out some interview questions for my own podcast. 83 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:37,719 Speaker 2: I read for a while, I journaled for a while, 84 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 2: and I went for a walk. And so you do 85 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 2: that twice a week. That's five hours a week of 86 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 2: really like good kind of you could almost call it. 87 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,360 Speaker 2: I kind of hate the term self care, but in 88 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,600 Speaker 2: a way, it's like self care time. Now three days 89 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 2: a week I go into the office. That starts with 90 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,839 Speaker 2: take the kid to the bus stop, and then go 91 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,960 Speaker 2: straight to the office. But that means I'm getting there 92 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 2: really early, like in the seven of hour, which gives 93 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 2: a great jumpstart to the day to get through the 94 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,919 Speaker 2: backlog of things that need to be done and before 95 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 2: the office fills up. And so I like that sort 96 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 2: of quiet, slightly contemplative time at the office three mornings 97 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:18,799 Speaker 2: a week when it's just me and my caffeine source 98 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 2: and my inbox, and I try to very much like 99 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:26,280 Speaker 2: match the work to the energy levels and you know, 100 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 2: the rhythms that are going on, so I can blast 101 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 2: through a whole ton of stuff before people arrive. 102 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,920 Speaker 1: Awesome. Yeah, mornings really are a great time to get 103 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,680 Speaker 1: things done. And I love that since Monday and Friday 104 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,799 Speaker 1: are work from home days, you even start the week 105 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: with a big dose of this morning self care. Right, 106 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,839 Speaker 1: it feels a little bit different than just diving straight 107 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,720 Speaker 1: into to the office. It's probably a very different sort 108 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:49,040 Speaker 1: of thing. 109 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that really dramatically reduces those Sunday scaries 110 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:56,040 Speaker 2: when you know, oh, tomorrow morning, I've got a little 111 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 2: bit of flexibility. There's a little bit of a a 112 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 2: like a mental bridge to get into you know, the 113 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:03,920 Speaker 2: weak full speed. 114 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:10,839 Speaker 1: Absolutely, So your podcast is called minimal dish, So like minimalism, 115 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,480 Speaker 1: but ends with minimal dish. So what do you mean 116 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,719 Speaker 1: by minimalish and what is appealing to you about sort 117 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:18,880 Speaker 1: of a lighter version of minimalism. 118 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:25,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a great question. I think the driving force 119 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:29,160 Speaker 2: for me is that I want to remove distractions so 120 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,760 Speaker 2: that I can focus on the very many, many cool 121 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 2: things that life presents, all of these opportunities. The issue is, 122 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 2: I think sometimes the term minimalism is it's hijacked a 123 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 2: little bit into people who talk about like I want 124 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 2: to do nothing, I want total emptiness of the schedule, 125 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,920 Speaker 2: and it's its own little cult in a way that 126 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 2: does not appeal to me. I do not want emptiness. 127 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:02,040 Speaker 2: I do want not want nothing. Thing that is totally unappealing. 128 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 2: And so that sort of brand of minimalism you see online, 129 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:08,160 Speaker 2: I think that it's boring and it can come off 130 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 2: as sort of preachy or self righteous. And what I'm 131 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 2: looking for is figuring out how to focus on what 132 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 2: I figure in my own life to be the right stuff. 133 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 2: But when there's so much going on, that does mean 134 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 2: needing to kind of cut out the clutter. And so 135 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 2: there are four kinds of clutter you could say that 136 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 2: I've tried to cut out in life. One is visual clutter, 137 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 2: stuff management, just you know, you know, when you've got 138 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 2: kids and you've got a lot of balls in the air. 139 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:40,280 Speaker 2: I think we both have dogs. There's a lot to 140 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 2: keep going, and having just less stuff around, particularly for 141 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 2: those of us who are sort of distracted by visual clutter, 142 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 2: is helpful, just having fewer things to manage. I also 143 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 2: try to cut out schedule clutter and keep the commitment 144 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,800 Speaker 2: levels to the right level. And one example is my 145 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:03,760 Speaker 2: kids are both pretty competitive athletes, and we want them 146 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 2: to be able to play at a competitive level. But 147 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 2: we don't want entire weekends every weekend to be taken 148 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 2: up with tournaments where you're driving six hours away, you're 149 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,400 Speaker 2: spending all day, you're staying the night, you're doing a 150 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 2: tournament the next day too. That's not the right level 151 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 2: of commitment for us, So schedule clutter. We let them 152 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:27,200 Speaker 2: play in a travel league that has two games a week, 153 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 2: not like an AAP basketball league where you're doing the 154 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:35,840 Speaker 2: tournament every weekend. We don't want to be essentially taxi 155 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:39,439 Speaker 2: drivers for our entire lives, so schedule clutter. We try 156 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:42,240 Speaker 2: to keep things at a level that like lets them 157 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:47,400 Speaker 2: compete but doesn't ruin the family dynamic. I also try 158 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:51,559 Speaker 2: to cut out financial clutter. That includes being very reflective 159 00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 2: on what spending actually gives value to our lives and 160 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:02,560 Speaker 2: what doesn't, and really questioning some questioning the defaults that 161 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 2: we tend to fall into, particularly when life is busy 162 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 2: and you could start throwing money at everything. I want 163 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:13,560 Speaker 2: to figure out where I really get value from throwing 164 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,320 Speaker 2: money at the problem, And like, right now I have 165 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,880 Speaker 2: some cleaning folks in my home because I get value 166 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:21,840 Speaker 2: from having someone help with that. But there are other 167 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,080 Speaker 2: things that we don't, you know, we don't throw money 168 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:30,319 Speaker 2: at that. Also that removing financial clutter also involves eliminating debt. 169 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:33,560 Speaker 2: We just paid off everything as quickly as possible, and 170 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:39,559 Speaker 2: that is such a reduced mental load of just worry. 171 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,200 Speaker 2: It reduces your worry when you don't have debt. And 172 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,800 Speaker 2: then finally, I know I've gone on a long time here. 173 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 2: I try to remove mental clutter, and that the way 174 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:52,080 Speaker 2: I put it is, uh I have Maybe this is 175 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 2: just part of being in your forties, but I've really 176 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:59,080 Speaker 2: stopped caring about the judgments of others and what they're 177 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 2: going to say about my choices. I'm willing to be 178 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,080 Speaker 2: a little bit unconventional. I'm willing to be a little 179 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:09,760 Speaker 2: bit weird, and if someone thinks that it's strange, I 180 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 2: really don't care. We're going to live lives on our 181 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:16,199 Speaker 2: own terms. So that's my take on Minimalish, cutting out 182 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,840 Speaker 2: various forms of clutter so that we can live the 183 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:25,520 Speaker 2: lives that make us sort of very individually, particularly most satisfied. 184 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,200 Speaker 1: Sounds good. Well, we're going to take a quick ad 185 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 1: break and then we're going to come back and learn 186 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 1: about a very cool project that Kathleen did before turning forty. Well, 187 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 1: we are back for those just joining us. This is 188 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:46,319 Speaker 1: the longer version of Before Breakfast. Once a week or so, 189 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 1: I am doing an interview with someone who is doing 190 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 1: cool things in their lives, taking their days from great 191 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:54,280 Speaker 1: to awesome. We are talking with Kathleen Paley, who is 192 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,839 Speaker 1: a lawyer, a mother, a volunteer, and the host of 193 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: the Minimalish podcast. Well, Kathleen, you did a really cool 194 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:06,760 Speaker 1: project of forty acts of kindness before turning forty. I 195 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,480 Speaker 1: believe I wonder if you could talk a little bit 196 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 1: about that project and maybe just highlight one or two 197 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 1: of the things you did as part of it. 198 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, I wanted to memorialize turning forty in some kind 199 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:23,960 Speaker 2: of way, but was not seeking a big birthday party 200 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,680 Speaker 2: or anything that's actually turns out to be a good thing, 201 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 2: because I turned forty in the summer of twenty twenty, 202 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,319 Speaker 2: so if there had been a desire for a big 203 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 2: birthday party, that was not going to happen with the 204 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:39,360 Speaker 2: pandemic going on. But it's late twenty nineteen, and I 205 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 2: just wanted to memorialize this time and do something special. 206 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,440 Speaker 2: And I thought, well, there are like bucket lists of 207 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:49,320 Speaker 2: forty before forty things to do, adventures to have, and 208 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:52,520 Speaker 2: that all sounded fun. But I thought, what about forty 209 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 2: small acts of kindness things that we could do within 210 00:11:56,559 --> 00:12:02,280 Speaker 2: our community, within our families, would just help brighten someone's day. 211 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 2: And so I put together list, took a few months 212 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:10,560 Speaker 2: sort of iterating on it, and put together list with 213 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:15,520 Speaker 2: a few categories of acts of kindness to do, and 214 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 2: over the course of the next you know, six months 215 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 2: or so, I knocked out almost all the list and 216 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 2: it was a lot of fun. The categories included things 217 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 2: like goods and money, you know, giving goods in money, 218 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:35,080 Speaker 2: respect and encouragement, time and talent, earth and environment, and 219 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 2: then within the family, intra family acts of kindness, so 220 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,800 Speaker 2: a few of my favorite ones. I was shocked to 221 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,960 Speaker 2: learn that in the community that we live in in 222 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 2: northern Virginia, which seems quite economically comfortable, there's still a 223 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:58,520 Speaker 2: remarkably high percentage of kids in schools who face food insecurity. 224 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,400 Speaker 2: They may get free lunch school, but when they go home, 225 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,560 Speaker 2: those cabinets are empty. And it turns out that within 226 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:08,080 Speaker 2: our community, there is a program where you can drop 227 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 2: off shelf stable foods at elementary schools and they will 228 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,680 Speaker 2: very sort of covertly, quietly so as not to embarrass 229 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:20,960 Speaker 2: the kids, put food into kids' backpacks that they can 230 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 2: take home so that there is you know, there's an 231 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:26,480 Speaker 2: actual dinner on the table. And so one of the 232 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 2: forty acts of kindness was I went and bought several 233 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:32,600 Speaker 2: hundred pounds of rice and several hundred pounds of dried beans, 234 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 2: and like raid down the car it was kind of 235 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,680 Speaker 2: sagging in the back, but took them to one of 236 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:40,400 Speaker 2: the local elementary schools and dropped them off so that 237 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,200 Speaker 2: they would have their pantry full, so that all of 238 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 2: these kids could go home and have meals, particularly over 239 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:50,840 Speaker 2: the weekends. That was so much fun. And I think 240 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:55,319 Speaker 2: that there's some value in really doing like physical acts yourself. 241 00:13:55,480 --> 00:14:00,520 Speaker 2: I think you feel more involved in the process of helping. 242 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,960 Speaker 2: I also like to cut checks for things as well, 243 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,040 Speaker 2: but there was something about the very physical nature of 244 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,520 Speaker 2: that that I found inspiring. 245 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:12,559 Speaker 1: And then maybe you can talk about one that's a 246 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:16,400 Speaker 1: bit more person to person that you did something encouraging somebody. 247 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:20,320 Speaker 2: Yes, I actually I've received some books over the years 248 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,360 Speaker 2: from folks where they said I loved this and you 249 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,120 Speaker 2: may really value it, and I thought, I want to 250 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 2: do that for someone too, So I decided to choose 251 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:32,040 Speaker 2: five books that I have found to be sort of 252 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 2: life changing or transformative and to give them to friends 253 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,440 Speaker 2: with a little note saying why I thought that they 254 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 2: may find it valuable. And in fact, one of those 255 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,760 Speaker 2: books was one hundred and sixty eight Hours that You 256 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:47,600 Speaker 2: Have More Time Than You Think, by a certain Laura Vandercamp. 257 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 2: I have found it really inspirational. Back in my sort 258 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:55,720 Speaker 2: of earlier parenting lawyering journey, when I was just starting 259 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 2: off with thinking about like how to make this better 260 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:01,840 Speaker 2: richer life, I actually gave it to I think two 261 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:02,520 Speaker 2: or three friends. 262 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,680 Speaker 1: Awesome. Well, I'm glad to hear that I did not 263 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:08,240 Speaker 1: ask Kathleen to say that. I'm very excited to do. 264 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:12,840 Speaker 1: That's wonderful. So if somebody else was going to undertake 265 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,560 Speaker 1: a project like this doing you know a large number 266 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 1: of random acts of kindness, I wonder if there was 267 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 1: something you learned along the way or some advice you'd 268 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 1: give to them to make it a more effective project. 269 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 2: I think setting out in advance the sort of general 270 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 2: categories that you want these acts to be in, or 271 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:34,760 Speaker 2: general groups that you want to help can help structure 272 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,760 Speaker 2: the thinking and can help sort of spur on creativity. 273 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:42,560 Speaker 2: And then also just ask thoughtful people in your life. 274 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 2: You know, hey, how do you think I could help 275 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 2: with local animals or whatever it is your priority is. 276 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:53,800 Speaker 2: And sometimes you can actually get pretty insightful, thoughtful ideas 277 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 2: from others, but you need to give them a prompt, 278 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,880 Speaker 2: not just what can I do that's nice? You have 279 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:04,600 Speaker 2: to say, I want to help the local poor, how 280 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:08,040 Speaker 2: can I do that? What do you think? So? Yeah, 281 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,640 Speaker 2: structure a little bit, and then just seek inspiration from 282 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:12,800 Speaker 2: others who your respect. 283 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,800 Speaker 1: Awesome We're going to take one more quick ad break 284 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 1: and then we'll be back to learn about Kathleen's current 285 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 1: time management challenges. Well, we are back. This is one 286 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 1: of the longer Before Breakfast episodes. I am interviewing Kathleen Paley, 287 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:37,960 Speaker 1: who is a lawyer, mother, volunteer, podcaster, many different hats, 288 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,800 Speaker 1: and she talked about a project she did of doing 289 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,880 Speaker 1: forty acts of kindness before turning forty. So, Kathleen, I 290 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,320 Speaker 1: wonder if you could talk about sort of your biggest 291 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 1: time management challenge right now. 292 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, my biggest time management challenge is that I am 293 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 2: a sucker for adding projects to my life and I 294 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,560 Speaker 2: did recently start doing a podcast. So it's how to 295 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:07,120 Speaker 2: work work in more while not feeling harried. And one 296 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:09,360 Speaker 2: of the ways I've I've been able to do this 297 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,800 Speaker 2: is to just look for what are the low value 298 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,639 Speaker 2: pockets of time that I'm not It's not wasting, but 299 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:21,720 Speaker 2: maybe not using optimally. And you know, we started this 300 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:25,360 Speaker 2: episode talking about those Mondays and Fridays from home where 301 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 2: there's a big chunk of time several hours in the morning. 302 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,960 Speaker 2: I've started to leverage that time to do more work. 303 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:35,560 Speaker 2: It's not necessarily the podcast work, but sort of shift 304 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 2: more more things into those timeframes that I might otherwise do. 305 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:44,119 Speaker 2: At another point, I'm sort of using the tiles or 306 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:46,440 Speaker 2: the pieces of time, moving them around the way you've 307 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:49,280 Speaker 2: talked about so much in your work. So you know, 308 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:53,480 Speaker 2: by adding more, I've I've made myself be creative about 309 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 2: looking at where the low value time is being spent 310 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:02,640 Speaker 2: and seeing where I can you know, eliminate eliminate that waste. 311 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:07,040 Speaker 2: And so you know, I'm using my Mondays and Fridays 312 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:12,680 Speaker 2: better and using little pockets of time on the weekends 313 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,840 Speaker 2: when I might have otherwise been kind of scrolling or 314 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,680 Speaker 2: just puttering around the house, carving out half an hour 315 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:23,760 Speaker 2: here an hour there to move the tiles around and 316 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:27,520 Speaker 2: be able to do the volunteer work and the podcast 317 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,400 Speaker 2: stuff and the mom's stuff and you know all those 318 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,800 Speaker 2: billable hours. Yeah. 319 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,760 Speaker 1: So what's one of your volunteer gigs right now? That 320 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:37,040 Speaker 1: is a project you've taken on but is adding meaning 321 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:37,720 Speaker 1: to your life. 322 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,240 Speaker 2: Yeah. So for the last oh, I think we're on 323 00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 2: year five now, I've found a commissioner on our city's 324 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,520 Speaker 2: Economic Development Authority, did a two year stint as the 325 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:52,640 Speaker 2: chair and then timed out under our bylaws, so I'm 326 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:57,040 Speaker 2: back to not charing meetings anymore. But we work on 327 00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 2: helping small businesses, both retail and you know, sort of 328 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:06,600 Speaker 2: more traditional accounting firms and such, but helping small businesses 329 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:10,359 Speaker 2: in the city thrive through a variety of programs and 330 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:15,159 Speaker 2: you know, support systems, and so doing that work is 331 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:18,560 Speaker 2: really exciting because over time you do start to see 332 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,840 Speaker 2: a change in your community. The five year mark, I'm 333 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,960 Speaker 2: now seeing projects that we started years ago really bear fruit. 334 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:29,280 Speaker 2: And it's incredibly exciting when you walk around your community 335 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,480 Speaker 2: and you say we had a role in that we 336 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,679 Speaker 2: helped with that this place is better because of something 337 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,080 Speaker 2: that we did. And so it's all you know, we 338 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 2: have staff and we have a bunch of volunteers and 339 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,840 Speaker 2: they work together beautifully to make the place that we 340 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:46,200 Speaker 2: live more vibrant awesome. 341 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:50,199 Speaker 1: So, Kathleen, what is something you have done this week 342 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,000 Speaker 1: to take a day from great to awesome? 343 00:19:54,200 --> 00:20:00,479 Speaker 2: Yes? So I have recently, so this week ish, I 344 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:05,560 Speaker 2: have rediscovered my love of the library. I had thought, oh, 345 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:10,159 Speaker 2: I like audiobooks, but somehow that childhood or young adulthood 346 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,240 Speaker 2: love of like reading the written word on a page 347 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 2: had somehow faded. And I realized it wasn't that it faded, 348 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,119 Speaker 2: I just didn't have anything I wanted to read. And 349 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:23,360 Speaker 2: so recently I've been going to the library, so rediscovering 350 00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:26,760 Speaker 2: the library, but then taking it up a notch in 351 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:31,040 Speaker 2: the last couple of weeks by using my Tuesday, Wednesday 352 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:34,359 Speaker 2: Thursday commute time on the Metro to read a paper book. 353 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:38,600 Speaker 2: So now I'm getting an hour each day, three days 354 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:42,520 Speaker 2: a week reading a book in peace. You know, there's jump, 355 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,400 Speaker 2: you know, clutter going on around you, there's movement going 356 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:51,320 Speaker 2: on around you. But by just shifting that metro time 357 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,919 Speaker 2: and not doing like an audiobook, but actually reading on paper, 358 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:59,000 Speaker 2: I'm getting that great satisfaction of you know, reading something 359 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 2: on paper and the turn of the page again, that 360 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,160 Speaker 2: physical act, the holding the book, There's something special about it. 361 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,960 Speaker 2: And so the great to awesome is getting back into 362 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 2: reading and finding time to do it. That isn't taking 363 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:14,840 Speaker 2: away from anything else. 364 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, and since you're leaving early enough on those days, 365 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,479 Speaker 1: you're probably getting a seat. I would imagine it's slightly 366 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,719 Speaker 1: harder to read if you're holding onto a pool, like 367 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,640 Speaker 1: flipping back and forth between the pages. 368 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 2: Correct. Yes, yes, in the afternoon it is pretty crowded, 369 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,600 Speaker 2: and I'm flipping the pages while like wrapping an arm 370 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,840 Speaker 2: around the pole. But in the morning, it's it's a seat. 371 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:36,960 Speaker 2: It's beautiful to see. 372 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:40,360 Speaker 1: It's beautiful. That's so funny. I have memories many, many 373 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,960 Speaker 1: years ago. I had a year long internship that I 374 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:46,120 Speaker 1: lived in the Greater Washington, DC area, and I had 375 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:50,880 Speaker 1: a fairly long commute and I wound up reading I'm 376 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,679 Speaker 1: going to say it around with Anna Karinina Tolstoi's novel 377 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 1: on the Metro twenty minutes a day. You know, you 378 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,679 Speaker 1: get through it over the course of a month or two. 379 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,760 Speaker 1: It was a good read, you know, past the time. 380 00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:08,679 Speaker 1: So I hope you're enjoying your reading in the morning 381 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 1: as well. Do you have a particular life hack or 382 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,760 Speaker 1: strategy you want to share with our listeners. I always 383 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,879 Speaker 1: love to ask people if there's something really cool that 384 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,399 Speaker 1: you've been trying that's made life more efficient that you 385 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:20,400 Speaker 1: could share with us. 386 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:24,160 Speaker 2: Well, one thing we've been doing recently is whenever there's 387 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,479 Speaker 2: a situation where someone's going to give us a gift, 388 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:32,040 Speaker 2: like holidays, you know those are coming up, you know, anniversaries, 389 00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:35,480 Speaker 2: things like that, we've been saying, can you just give 390 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:38,680 Speaker 2: us a gift card to a restaurant. It's because one, 391 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:42,320 Speaker 2: I'm trying to just spend less money eating out and 392 00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 2: be more efficient in that way. And two we want 393 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:49,040 Speaker 2: to do that. We're also big foodies, so I don't 394 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:52,320 Speaker 2: want clutter at home. I don't want physical stuff more 395 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,920 Speaker 2: physical stuff at home, but I do want to go 396 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:59,560 Speaker 2: explore new restaurants and try new foods. So just letting 397 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:04,359 Speaker 2: the folks in your life no like restaurant gift cards, please, 398 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 2: that is a very welcome gift. Has been super in 399 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,280 Speaker 2: terms of now we get more experiences that we like 400 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 2: and we don't have another vase sitting around that's just 401 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 2: going to gather dust exactly. 402 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,080 Speaker 1: With a little extra tip for our listeners that you 403 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,160 Speaker 1: need to make sure you use the gift cards then, 404 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:24,960 Speaker 1: so when it comes in, make sure you've got a 405 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,840 Speaker 1: reservation and a date on the calendar, because otherwise those 406 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:30,240 Speaker 1: become clutter in a different way. 407 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:36,320 Speaker 2: They do, you know, Laura, Actually my kids have accumulated 408 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:39,280 Speaker 2: gift cards from birthday gifts over time, although I do 409 00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:42,840 Speaker 2: swear the thirteen year old boys just circulate the same 410 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:47,119 Speaker 2: Amazon gift card back and forth, but they've accumulated a 411 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:49,200 Speaker 2: bunch of gift cards, and I took a page from 412 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 2: your playbook and told my youngest we're having a gift 413 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,160 Speaker 2: card day. We're going to use up all of your 414 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:59,679 Speaker 2: gift cards. So we went to Dick's Sporting Goods, we 415 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 2: went to a local bookstore. We didn't Amazon on order, 416 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,000 Speaker 2: and he was like, oh, that was actually a lot 417 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:09,080 Speaker 2: of fun. Like, yes, buddy, and now you have stuff 418 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,760 Speaker 2: you want and I don't have a drawer full of 419 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:12,880 Speaker 2: your gift cards. 420 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:16,600 Speaker 1: Exactly, exactly awesome. Well, Kathleen, this has been great. Can 421 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,679 Speaker 1: you tell our listeners where they can find you? 422 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:23,159 Speaker 2: Yes, I like I mentioned a couple of times. They 423 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:26,439 Speaker 2: now have a podcast. It's the Minimalish Mom podcast. If 424 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,360 Speaker 2: you have any interest in listening, it's on Apple Podcasts 425 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:33,359 Speaker 2: and Spotify. You can also reach out on Instagram It's 426 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,520 Speaker 2: minimalish Mom. I mean, the podcast name came from the 427 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,800 Speaker 2: fact that I've had that handle since like twenty fifteen 428 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:42,639 Speaker 2: or something, so it was just the easiest way to 429 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:46,320 Speaker 2: name things. But I would love to connect to folks 430 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:50,640 Speaker 2: who share an interest in, you know, using our time 431 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,760 Speaker 2: and resources better. I think it's a lot of fun, 432 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:54,280 Speaker 2: so please reach out. 433 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 1: Well, we have a lot of people listening to this 434 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,120 Speaker 1: podcast who want to use their time and resources better. 435 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,959 Speaker 1: So Kathleen, thank you so much for joining us, and 436 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,800 Speaker 1: thanks to everyone who has been listening. I would love 437 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:07,720 Speaker 1: your feedback about this interview series, particularly if you decide 438 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:11,359 Speaker 1: to adopt Kathleen's project of doing random acts of kindness. 439 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:13,760 Speaker 1: I would love to hear about that. You can reach 440 00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:17,679 Speaker 1: me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com and in 441 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:18,959 Speaker 1: the meantime. 442 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:19,600 Speaker 2: This is Laura. 443 00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:23,119 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of 444 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:33,320 Speaker 1: our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've 445 00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:37,520 Speaker 1: got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at 446 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:46,639 Speaker 1: Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a 447 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:51,440 Speaker 1: production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit 448 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:55,280 Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to 449 00:25:55,320 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 1: your favorite shows.