WEBVTT - “I’VE HAD DIARRHEA FOR 3 MONTHS”

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, Hello, Who is this this? What's up? Jay?

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<v Speaker 2>Is this the gecko?

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<v Speaker 1>This is the gecko?

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<v Speaker 2>Very very cool? What's up with me? I am sitting?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I don't know if I asked that?

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<v Speaker 1>Did I did? I say? What's up with you? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>You said, you said, what's up?

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<v Speaker 1>Fuck? I have, dude, I have like horrible I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know how long this has been going on, but I

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<v Speaker 1>have like horrible short term amnesia memory thing. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know if what.

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<v Speaker 2>Is your long term memory? Good?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? I think I think I think my long term

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<v Speaker 1>memory is good. I just don't remember like names or

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<v Speaker 1>things that people just told me, or that I've said.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if it's as a result of like

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<v Speaker 1>say that again.

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<v Speaker 2>You'd like, do you remember your third grade teacher's name?

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<v Speaker 1>I believe, Yeah. I think her name was miss Hellman.

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<v Speaker 2>I think I only know one of my teacher's names

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<v Speaker 2>from all twelve years of school.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what are their names? What's give me one?

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<v Speaker 2>Just erase it from my memory?

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<v Speaker 1>But what's going on with you? Jay? What's up with you?

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<v Speaker 2>Well? Well, first I want to say I'm sad I

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<v Speaker 2>missed your show in Chicago.

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<v Speaker 1>Ah, what did you were you not able to tickets?

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<v Speaker 2>Not just that, but I it's been kind of scary

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<v Speaker 2>for me to be outside for longer than an hour

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<v Speaker 2>at a time nowadays.

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<v Speaker 1>Ah Jay twenty eight, Chicago has had diarrhea for almost

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<v Speaker 1>three months.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, in a week and a half, it'll be three months. Actually,

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<v Speaker 2>I've gone to a doctor. Of course, I've gone to

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<v Speaker 2>a doctor. I'm not stupid. And and they, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 2>it's so disgusting. They made me like bring in a sample,

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<v Speaker 2>and they went through all of the lists and they

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<v Speaker 2>said that I have giardia. Giardia is a pest, you

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<v Speaker 2>know what a it's. It's in water, and it usually

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<v Speaker 2>comes from a minuscule amount of seco matter. You can

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<v Speaker 2>get it literally anywhere. You can get it at a restaurant,

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<v Speaker 2>you can get it licking a puddle in the street.

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<v Speaker 2>You can get it from your own sink. So that's

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<v Speaker 2>what happened to me. Got put on medication, came back

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<v Speaker 2>immediately the following week. And then.

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<v Speaker 1>Well it says also that you you believe that.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so I go to my real doctor because I

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<v Speaker 2>went to an emergency or not an emergency room. I

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<v Speaker 2>went to urge Eka the first time I go to

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<v Speaker 2>my real doctor room, he puts me on a different medication,

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<v Speaker 2>does the same thing the next week, immediately comes back.

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<v Speaker 2>So my issue with the fact that it's been almost

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<v Speaker 2>three months is that I've been seeing this guy. I've

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<v Speaker 2>been dating this guy. I started dating a guy just

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<v Speaker 2>before this whole diary of thing happened. He went on

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<v Speaker 2>a work trip out of Stay It, and the entire

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<v Speaker 2>time he's been out of Stay It, I've been having

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<v Speaker 2>this diarrhea. He comes back next week, and I've already

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<v Speaker 2>told him the whole thing. He thinks that he thinks

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<v Speaker 2>that my health is good after the first time I

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<v Speaker 2>went to the doctor. He doesn't know that, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>like we I, I am a I am a gay

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<v Speaker 2>man as particpateon aff He is going to be coming

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<v Speaker 2>back next week and I have major explosive diarrhea every

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<v Speaker 2>other hour, and I don't know what to tell him.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you on the toilet right now while you're talking about.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, no, I'm in my depression room.

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<v Speaker 1>You have a whole room dedicated to depression.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, it's maybe I shouldn't call it a depression room.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the anxiety room. The the where all of my

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<v Speaker 2>ship goes. That isn't on display in my apartment all

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<v Speaker 2>of your it's like boxes and boxes. Yeah, it's a

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<v Speaker 2>spare bedroom.

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<v Speaker 1>That's just because I said depression room. This sounds like

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<v Speaker 1>kind of a good idea. It's good to like have

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<v Speaker 1>a place where you can put it all that stuff. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So your boyfriend does not know that you have been

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<v Speaker 1>having explosive diarrhea for three months every other hour.

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<v Speaker 2>He knew in the beginning, like right when he left for.

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<v Speaker 1>The trip, but he doesn't know it's still going on. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and you're not sure how to tell him because it

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<v Speaker 1>means that you guys cannot have anal sex. Yeah, tell

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<v Speaker 1>me again what the doctor's told you about a timeline

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<v Speaker 1>of if this will get better.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, normally it should get better within a week. And

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<v Speaker 2>I went to urgent care again for the second time

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<v Speaker 2>after seeing my real doctor, and they want me to

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<v Speaker 2>bring in another sample. But the thing is, every time

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<v Speaker 2>I have a free day to bring in a sample,

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<v Speaker 2>I get constipated, and then the next day I have

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<v Speaker 2>work or I of you know whatever else going on.

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<v Speaker 2>So I can't wait.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, Okay, hold on, let me get this straight.

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<v Speaker 3>Jay.

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<v Speaker 1>So your doctor has told you that as part of

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<v Speaker 1>the process of you getting better, you need to bring

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<v Speaker 1>them a sample, and you haven't been able to because

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<v Speaker 1>you keep getting constipated or having work.

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<v Speaker 2>It's it's the worst because it's like on my free days,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm constipated on the days where I'm actually Jay.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Jay, if you're having diarrhea every other hour for

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<v Speaker 1>the past three months, you need to I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>that is a priority. Is quit your fucking job if

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<v Speaker 1>you have to. You you can't do that. You can't

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<v Speaker 1>have fucking diarrhea every hour. Where do you even? Where

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<v Speaker 1>do you even work? Where you can do your job

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<v Speaker 1>with this?

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<v Speaker 2>At home? At home?

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<v Speaker 1>You work at home?

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<v Speaker 2>I need to be next to a toilet at all

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<v Speaker 2>hours of my day.

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<v Speaker 1>Jake, take a diarrhea all over part of Jay diarrhea.

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<v Speaker 1>Go give them the sample. What are you doing? Just

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<v Speaker 1>diarrhea in your car? Doesn't nobody, it doesn't matter.

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<v Speaker 2>It's tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, good, You're gonna diarrhea.

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<v Speaker 2>In your car today.

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<v Speaker 1>You gotta do that. You've got to prioritize this day,

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<v Speaker 1>I do.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>How long you've been dad to your boyfriend?

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<v Speaker 2>For four months?

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<v Speaker 3>No?

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<v Speaker 1>Four? Wait? You been for four months. He he hasn't

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<v Speaker 1>even been with you.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he's been gone, but we we talk every day

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<v Speaker 2>and and he's he's coming back on Monday. Jas in

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<v Speaker 2>my apartment.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't know how to I don't know how

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<v Speaker 1>to tell you that. I don't I don't know what

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<v Speaker 1>to tell you except you just got to tell him.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's un.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, look, it is what it is. Do you

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<v Speaker 1>do you do? Your doctor said it will be okay

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<v Speaker 1>in a couple of weeks.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but that was even the first time I let

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<v Speaker 2>because sometimes it resolves itself. Sometimes you gotta take medication.

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<v Speaker 1>And have you been taking Okay, you went through two

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<v Speaker 1>randsom medication. Are they are they gonna put you on

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<v Speaker 1>a third one?

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<v Speaker 2>That's what I asked for and they didn't want to

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<v Speaker 2>put me on anything.

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<v Speaker 1>You gotta tell you.

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<v Speaker 2>I think like every time, every time I want to

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<v Speaker 2>bring in a sample, my stomach gets stressed out and

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<v Speaker 2>freezes up. It's like I have a shy stomach.

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<v Speaker 5>Now.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like, you know this is this is like

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<v Speaker 1>you need a Nathan field Er esque machine that like

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<v Speaker 1>is a backpack hidden underneath a suit with a tube

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<v Speaker 1>from your assholes in the that can that can be

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<v Speaker 1>kind of Yeah, that like a diarrhea suit, So that

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<v Speaker 1>way you can live your life but still diarrhea whenever

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<v Speaker 1>you have to.

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<v Speaker 2>Is there a way for astronauts to like close their

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<v Speaker 2>poop bag inside of their astronauts suit.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, they're astronauts. They've figured out everything. All. I guess

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<v Speaker 1>what we're getting at here with this line of conversation, Jay,

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<v Speaker 1>is that not all hope is lost for you. Listen,

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<v Speaker 1>your boyfriend's situation. Just tell him. You have no other

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<v Speaker 1>option than to tell him. He's going to find out.

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<v Speaker 1>Just tell him. And I don't know how he's going

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<v Speaker 1>to react. You don't know how he's gonna react. But

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<v Speaker 1>it's okay. He's gonna laugh. Okay, it's gonna be Jay,

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<v Speaker 1>It's gonna be okay. Man, if I could tell you,

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<v Speaker 1>if it's all I feel, that's all I want to

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<v Speaker 1>tell you, it's gonna be okay. All right.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm just glad I haven't had a single hemorrhoid.

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<v Speaker 1>You one day will not have diarrhea. But you you

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<v Speaker 1>gotta go. You guys delivered that stool sample. You gotta

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<v Speaker 1>tell your boyfriend and let it play out. Jay, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't I hope you're freaking out too hard about this

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<v Speaker 1>whole whether or not to tell your your boyfriend thing.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, it's not it's not worth freaking out about.

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<v Speaker 2>No, it's it's fine.

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<v Speaker 1>And hey, listen, we've been on the phone for eleven

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<v Speaker 1>minutes and I don't know how good your phone speakers are,

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<v Speaker 1>but it doesn't sound like you have had diarrhea.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I I have not. I actually went before I

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<v Speaker 2>started calling. I'll probably need to go to a little bit.

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<v Speaker 1>Jay, is there anything else you want to say to

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<v Speaker 1>the people of the computer before we go.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh, go to the doctor? Probably you need to, honestly,

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<v Speaker 2>everybody dog you've got that you've been avoiding for a

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<v Speaker 2>long time, and just get it done. Also, this is

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<v Speaker 2>the sixty ninth call for me tonight. I got on

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<v Speaker 2>at the sixty night call. Just want to say.

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<v Speaker 1>That that's the magic number. Yeah, thanks for calling, Jay,

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for talking to me. I don't go to the

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<v Speaker 1>doctor anymore because every time I do, he tells me

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<v Speaker 1>how fat I'm getting. That's all he does. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>even think he doesn't even do it in a way

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<v Speaker 1>where it's like you're fat, and here's how what the plant?

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<v Speaker 1>Here's the plan of how we're going to help you

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<v Speaker 1>not be fat, but it's just he's just like, you're fat.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I knew that. I'm afraid because I'm afraid

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<v Speaker 1>because every time I every time I go, I get fatter.

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<v Speaker 1>And every time, right before I leave, I tell him

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<v Speaker 1>next time I go and next time I see him,

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<v Speaker 1>will I'll be less fat? And so I'm like lying,

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<v Speaker 1>I should probably go to the doctor. Hello, Hi, Hi,

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<v Speaker 1>keck Hi, what is your name?

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<v Speaker 2>Hi?

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<v Speaker 3>I'm calling Lindsay.

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<v Speaker 1>Lindsey, Lindsay, Lindsay, what's going on with you in your life?

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<v Speaker 3>So I'm kind of gonna pickle right now? Yah, my parents,

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<v Speaker 3>My parents are kicking me out due to the guy

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<v Speaker 3>I am seeing. I have been seeing him for about

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<v Speaker 3>three years right now, and none of my friends will

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<v Speaker 3>like him, none of my family members like him, but

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<v Speaker 3>for some reason, I still like him, and part of

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<v Speaker 3>me just wants to leave him, but then a part

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<v Speaker 3>of me doesn't want to. And I've even tried to

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<v Speaker 3>leave him for like maybe about four or five days,

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<v Speaker 3>and he showed up to my work and he was

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<v Speaker 3>asking all these questions. I blocked him and went to

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<v Speaker 3>talk to him, and he even showed up to when

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<v Speaker 3>I went out with my friends on the weekend and

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<v Speaker 3>he started like causing a scene. So I don't know,

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<v Speaker 3>I just kind of need some advice, I guess.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, Lindsey, it says here that your parents are kicking

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<v Speaker 1>you out because of this guy that you're seeing. And

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<v Speaker 1>it says that this guy you told the call screener

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<v Speaker 1>that this guy is a warrant out for his arrest.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, he had a warrant out for his arrest. He

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<v Speaker 3>finally went to court and now he's on parole for

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<v Speaker 3>like a while, so that kind of makes the situation work.

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<v Speaker 3>But right now he has a good job, he has

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<v Speaker 3>a house and all this stuff, and he says I

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<v Speaker 3>don't have to pay for anything, both food, and he's

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<v Speaker 3>been keeping that promise of it, and he can be

0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:17.320
<v Speaker 3>really nice.

0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:22.200
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, go ahead, Well, Lindsey, I mean, okay, let's

0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:27.800
<v Speaker 1>let's start here. Uh, what what do you think is

0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:32.640
<v Speaker 1>the reason why you are continuing to see this person?

0:14:34.040 --> 0:14:37.440
<v Speaker 3>I honestly can't tell you. Like when we were when

0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:40.200
<v Speaker 3>I was like single, for like four or five days,

0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:42.560
<v Speaker 3>I was having some of my friends, part of me

0:14:42.680 --> 0:14:45.680
<v Speaker 3>missed him and I'd cry a little bit but part

0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:48.120
<v Speaker 3>of me felt like good and trigued at it that

0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:50.880
<v Speaker 3>he would just keep calling me and calling me even

0:14:50.920 --> 0:14:52.520
<v Speaker 3>when I was like block his numbers.

0:14:52.640 --> 0:15:01.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, lindsay, listen, I think I concerned. Well, yeah, I

0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:07.600
<v Speaker 1>mean I think if you anytime where you're talking about

0:15:07.680 --> 0:15:13.200
<v Speaker 1>you are trying to break up with somebody and they

0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:22.240
<v Speaker 1>are not respecting that that boundary, I mean that is

0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:38.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, that is telling Yeah, has the situation escalated

0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:43.080
<v Speaker 1>to a point where you feel as though you need

0:15:43.120 --> 0:15:51.520
<v Speaker 1>to contact the police and get some form of a

0:15:51.600 --> 0:15:56.680
<v Speaker 1>restraining order if he is shoving up to places you're

0:15:56.680 --> 0:15:59.920
<v Speaker 1>going out in public and as you say, causing a.

0:16:03.080 --> 0:16:07.640
<v Speaker 3>I mean, okay, my even my ex boyfriend that I

0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:11.560
<v Speaker 3>haven't talked to in like three years, told me I

0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:15.360
<v Speaker 3>need to get a restraining order. And he even contacted

0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:19.640
<v Speaker 3>my parents saying that he was worried about me and

0:16:19.680 --> 0:16:22.840
<v Speaker 3>all this because he texted me one day and the

0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:27.040
<v Speaker 3>guy I was seeing anteing fall it and they started

0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:28.480
<v Speaker 3>fighting over the phone.

0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:29.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:34.040
<v Speaker 3>So then my ex boyfriend, like three years ago, I

0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:36.400
<v Speaker 3>haven't been talking to him or nothing, he texted my

0:16:36.560 --> 0:16:40.360
<v Speaker 3>dad saying like, I'm worried about her and all this stuff.

0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:45.640
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, I don't. I just I don't know why

0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:49.440
<v Speaker 3>I'm so like indecisive, Like I don't know, Like he's

0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:53.400
<v Speaker 3>fun and I'm attracted to him, but like I think

0:16:53.440 --> 0:16:56.440
<v Speaker 3>I know what the right answer is, I just can't

0:16:56.480 --> 0:16:59.040
<v Speaker 3>seem to like followed through with it for some reason.

0:17:02.400 --> 0:17:05.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay, let's go a little deeper that you say, you

0:17:05.840 --> 0:17:09.359
<v Speaker 1>you know what the answer is, but you can't follow

0:17:09.359 --> 0:17:11.960
<v Speaker 1>through with it for some reason. What if you had

0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:17.879
<v Speaker 1>to think about it, what would that reason be? Like?

0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:19.480
<v Speaker 3>Why can't I follow through with that?

0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:24.080
<v Speaker 1>Right? I mean, you're telling me that you you know

0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:28.000
<v Speaker 1>what the correct course of ants, the correct course of

0:17:28.080 --> 0:17:30.560
<v Speaker 1>action is, but you don't feel like you can follow

0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:32.439
<v Speaker 1>through on it. Why why don't you feel like you

0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:33.480
<v Speaker 1>can follow through on it?

0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:37.240
<v Speaker 3>I think just because like we do have like a

0:17:37.280 --> 0:17:40.840
<v Speaker 3>connection stuff, and it wasn't always like like this, you know,

0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:45.560
<v Speaker 3>like the first year we were together it was, you know, great,

0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:50.240
<v Speaker 3>and then kind of started declining through there, but we

0:17:50.280 --> 0:17:53.000
<v Speaker 3>always said our good times. And he can be a

0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:55.720
<v Speaker 3>really good guy. You know, he look me dinner and

0:17:55.760 --> 0:17:56.800
<v Speaker 3>take me out and all that.

0:17:57.240 --> 0:18:01.440
<v Speaker 1>But you know, you know, I don't know how much

0:18:01.440 --> 0:18:03.800
<v Speaker 1>stuff I'm gonna tell you that I'm sure your friends

0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:10.840
<v Speaker 1>and your family haven't already told you, but if this

0:18:11.000 --> 0:18:18.240
<v Speaker 1>relationship started out one way and slowly descended into being

0:18:18.280 --> 0:18:30.320
<v Speaker 1>another thing, you will not benefit from holding out.

0:18:29.119 --> 0:18:29.640
<v Speaker 2>In the.

0:18:31.600 --> 0:18:37.840
<v Speaker 1>Very very very uncertain hopes that it will return to

0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:43.960
<v Speaker 1>what it was. And I think your time and your

0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:51.480
<v Speaker 1>life will be better spent cutting your losses and finding

0:18:53.400 --> 0:19:00.720
<v Speaker 1>love and pleasure and enjoyment and lifey cool stuff in

0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:05.720
<v Speaker 1>the infinite other avenues that there are to find.

0:19:05.400 --> 0:19:10.640
<v Speaker 3>It, Okay, I and part of me also feels bad.

0:19:10.720 --> 0:19:13.280
<v Speaker 3>Is because like he's doing everything I asked them to

0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:16.879
<v Speaker 3>do now and now my parents putting in the situation

0:19:17.359 --> 0:19:28.800
<v Speaker 3>when he's actually like showing improvements, you know. But yeah, it's.

0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:34.120
<v Speaker 1>I know you feel bad, but you know this guy,

0:19:34.520 --> 0:19:37.879
<v Speaker 1>I don't I don't know anything about him or his

0:19:38.040 --> 0:19:41.119
<v Speaker 1>life or what he's got going on with himself, but

0:19:41.359 --> 0:19:45.120
<v Speaker 1>it's it's his thing to deal with, and you've got

0:19:45.160 --> 0:19:50.760
<v Speaker 1>your stuff to deal with. And I just really don't

0:19:50.840 --> 0:19:54.600
<v Speaker 1>feel like it's beneficial for you to to hold out

0:19:55.480 --> 0:20:02.520
<v Speaker 1>and put your own life on pause to wait for

0:20:03.880 --> 0:20:10.160
<v Speaker 1>this thing to get better. Right, how do you, I mean,

0:20:10.840 --> 0:20:12.840
<v Speaker 1>how do you feel about what I'm telling you?

0:20:16.240 --> 0:20:22.440
<v Speaker 3>I agree, I'm sorry not. I totally agree, but yeah,

0:20:22.600 --> 0:20:24.679
<v Speaker 3>I just don't understand why it's so hard for me

0:20:25.840 --> 0:20:27.840
<v Speaker 3>to like follow through with that, you know.

0:20:28.760 --> 0:20:34.320
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmmm, I don't know. I wish, I wish I

0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:43.360
<v Speaker 1>knew the secret recipe for you to to pull that trigger.

0:20:46.240 --> 0:20:47.960
<v Speaker 1>And again, I don't know how much I'm telling you

0:20:48.040 --> 0:20:52.320
<v Speaker 1>that your friends and family haven't already, but you should

0:20:52.400 --> 0:21:02.600
<v Speaker 1>really really take some time to consider the downsides of

0:21:02.800 --> 0:21:09.560
<v Speaker 1>putting your life on hold for this guy, and and

0:21:09.600 --> 0:21:13.720
<v Speaker 1>then consider the I mean, well, you're twenty one.

0:21:15.280 --> 0:21:16.720
<v Speaker 5>Mm what do you do?

0:21:16.760 --> 0:21:18.719
<v Speaker 1>Are you in school? Are you in working?

0:21:20.640 --> 0:21:20.840
<v Speaker 4>Yes?

0:21:20.920 --> 0:21:24.560
<v Speaker 3>I actually just started clinicals for physical therapy, So that's

0:21:25.160 --> 0:21:25.760
<v Speaker 3>that right now.

0:21:26.359 --> 0:21:26.960
<v Speaker 1>Okay, great?

0:21:27.400 --> 0:21:27.640
<v Speaker 3>Great?

0:21:27.680 --> 0:21:29.160
<v Speaker 1>Do you have a lot of dear friends? It seems

0:21:29.200 --> 0:21:30.639
<v Speaker 1>like you have a lot of friends and family.

0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:34.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. And that's another thing. I feel like he ruined

0:21:34.560 --> 0:21:39.280
<v Speaker 3>my relationship with my friends too, Like you'll, like, like

0:21:39.320 --> 0:21:40.800
<v Speaker 3>when you show up to the bar, he was like,

0:21:41.480 --> 0:21:44.119
<v Speaker 3>I'm just cussing, and like, you know, I'm just being

0:21:44.119 --> 0:21:47.639
<v Speaker 3>mean to my friends. Yeah, so they don't like to

0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:49.880
<v Speaker 3>hang out with me when he's around, you know, which

0:21:49.920 --> 0:21:51.000
<v Speaker 3>is a problem.

0:21:51.240 --> 0:21:51.680
<v Speaker 5>Mm hm.

0:21:53.200 --> 0:21:56.520
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, Lindsay, you've got uh you've got a you've

0:21:56.520 --> 0:22:01.080
<v Speaker 1>got a good life man. You you have a career

0:22:01.119 --> 0:22:05.920
<v Speaker 1>you're pursuing. You have friends that I'm sure would graciously

0:22:07.680 --> 0:22:15.280
<v Speaker 1>accept your return into their lives. And I guess, like

0:22:15.400 --> 0:22:19.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't have any secret sauce for you to achieve

0:22:19.640 --> 0:22:25.720
<v Speaker 1>your Nike just do it moments. But I hope at

0:22:25.720 --> 0:22:33.000
<v Speaker 1>the very least you ruminates on all of the good

0:22:33.080 --> 0:22:36.119
<v Speaker 1>things you have waiting for you to pursue in your life,

0:22:36.160 --> 0:22:39.440
<v Speaker 1>this career. You're talking about, your friends, that you're talking about,

0:22:39.480 --> 0:22:43.240
<v Speaker 1>your family, all these things that you have to really

0:22:44.280 --> 0:22:51.720
<v Speaker 1>take time to lean into and ruminate upon how that

0:22:51.880 --> 0:23:03.080
<v Speaker 1>time will be wasted if you use it to hold

0:23:03.080 --> 0:23:08.280
<v Speaker 1>out for this guy. And I hope after doing some

0:23:08.440 --> 0:23:13.320
<v Speaker 1>thinking about that, it'll motivate you to have your Nike

0:23:14.400 --> 0:23:18.359
<v Speaker 1>just do it moment where you really cut it off.

0:23:19.240 --> 0:23:23.439
<v Speaker 1>And I don't know, I don't know how you're feeling

0:23:23.480 --> 0:23:28.040
<v Speaker 1>about your own personal safety, but if you have to,

0:23:29.040 --> 0:23:32.040
<v Speaker 1>if you feel as though it is getting to that point,

0:23:32.119 --> 0:23:38.720
<v Speaker 1>I would not hesitate to get whoever involved that you

0:23:38.760 --> 0:23:43.040
<v Speaker 1>need to get involved. And yeah, I mean that That's

0:23:43.080 --> 0:23:46.119
<v Speaker 1>really all I have to say. Lindsay what do you

0:23:47.600 --> 0:23:50.040
<v Speaker 1>how do you feel about all of that.

0:23:54.040 --> 0:23:57.119
<v Speaker 3>I mean, that's kind of like expecting, you know, to

0:23:57.200 --> 0:23:59.800
<v Speaker 3>hear like you said, I'm hearing this from my mom,

0:24:00.440 --> 0:24:04.840
<v Speaker 3>my friends and everyone around me. So that's part of

0:24:04.840 --> 0:24:06.880
<v Speaker 3>me that's like I don't know, like I feel bad

0:24:07.480 --> 0:24:10.160
<v Speaker 3>because I'm that's mean to them. I agree with them,

0:24:10.440 --> 0:24:13.439
<v Speaker 3>But then when I'm with him, you know, I do

0:24:13.600 --> 0:24:16.480
<v Speaker 3>like he's like my best friend, you know, we have

0:24:16.560 --> 0:24:25.479
<v Speaker 3>good times. Yeah, this stuff like that, But I I agree.

0:24:25.600 --> 0:24:27.600
<v Speaker 3>I think you're right, and I think I just need

0:24:27.840 --> 0:24:31.679
<v Speaker 3>like to do it and then just see how I

0:24:31.760 --> 0:24:35.720
<v Speaker 3>feel and like at least like a couple of weeks

0:24:36.640 --> 0:24:38.560
<v Speaker 3>and I feel like I do, like you know, flying

0:24:38.640 --> 0:24:39.840
<v Speaker 3>with everything you know.

0:24:40.920 --> 0:24:46.439
<v Speaker 1>Okay, good. I hope that you do do what is

0:24:46.520 --> 0:24:51.680
<v Speaker 1>best for you. Again, I I I wish I had

0:24:51.720 --> 0:24:56.239
<v Speaker 1>the uh the secret recipe to get you to do it.

0:24:56.280 --> 0:24:59.840
<v Speaker 1>But that is the thing is that you know your friends,

0:24:59.840 --> 0:25:01.760
<v Speaker 1>your family as much as they love you, as much

0:25:01.760 --> 0:25:06.480
<v Speaker 1>as they want the best for you. Unfortunately cannot make

0:25:06.640 --> 0:25:11.080
<v Speaker 1>you do anything because you can't make other people do things.

0:25:11.960 --> 0:25:16.960
<v Speaker 1>But I just really hope you make the right decision.

0:25:17.040 --> 0:25:22.159
<v Speaker 3>Lindsey, thank you, kick and then dying to ask you

0:25:22.200 --> 0:25:24.320
<v Speaker 3>about the and then listening to your podcast and the

0:25:24.400 --> 0:25:26.360
<v Speaker 3>way to work every day. I don't know.

0:25:27.160 --> 0:25:28.919
<v Speaker 1>Is there anything else you want to say to the

0:25:28.920 --> 0:25:33.480
<v Speaker 1>people of the computer before we go. No, thank you

0:25:33.520 --> 0:25:36.040
<v Speaker 1>for answering, Thanks for calling Lindsay.

0:25:37.760 --> 0:25:38.119
<v Speaker 3>Good night.

0:25:41.160 --> 0:25:46.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, tough thing. Tough thing again. You can never make

0:25:46.760 --> 0:25:52.640
<v Speaker 1>anyone do anything, so I feel for her friends and family.

0:25:53.520 --> 0:25:56.680
<v Speaker 1>It's hard when you to care. But this is something

0:25:56.680 --> 0:25:59.399
<v Speaker 1>I've talked about on this fucking podcast a billion times.

0:25:59.720 --> 0:26:01.320
<v Speaker 1>But it's hard when you care about a person and

0:26:01.359 --> 0:26:02.919
<v Speaker 1>you feel like you know what's best for them and

0:26:02.960 --> 0:26:05.719
<v Speaker 1>you're telling them and you can't. You can't fucking make

0:26:05.760 --> 0:26:12.840
<v Speaker 1>anyone do anything. I and I I I can't. Uh,

0:26:13.119 --> 0:26:17.240
<v Speaker 1>not me or Andy Lindsay's actual real life friends or

0:26:17.280 --> 0:26:23.359
<v Speaker 1>family can can pull any triggers for her. But I

0:26:23.400 --> 0:26:26.000
<v Speaker 1>just I don't know. I just to restate everything I said,

0:26:26.040 --> 0:26:31.360
<v Speaker 1>I hope, uh. I mean, it's it's not like she's like, oh,

0:26:31.400 --> 0:26:33.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't have anything else going on in my life

0:26:33.560 --> 0:26:36.000
<v Speaker 1>and my boyfriend is my only thing and if I

0:26:36.119 --> 0:26:38.760
<v Speaker 1>get rid of this, I have nothing left. Even if

0:26:38.800 --> 0:26:41.359
<v Speaker 1>that was the case, I would be like nothing, nothing

0:26:41.440 --> 0:26:45.400
<v Speaker 1>is better than something bad. But that's not the case.

0:26:45.440 --> 0:26:47.879
<v Speaker 1>I mean she's got all this stuff in her life too,

0:26:48.560 --> 0:26:50.919
<v Speaker 1>that that that she could be using the time that

0:26:50.960 --> 0:26:55.000
<v Speaker 1>she's spending holding out for this guy to fucking lean

0:26:55.040 --> 0:26:58.320
<v Speaker 1>into And I hope she lends into it. And I

0:26:58.359 --> 0:27:03.080
<v Speaker 1>and I am and I am a gecko on the computer. Hello,

0:27:03.320 --> 0:27:06.560
<v Speaker 1>how are you? I'm good? What's going on with you?

0:27:07.160 --> 0:27:10.840
<v Speaker 4>Yeah? So I had the thing that I was curious

0:27:10.880 --> 0:27:15.840
<v Speaker 4>to get your feedback on. So I'm twenty seven now,

0:27:16.680 --> 0:27:19.480
<v Speaker 4>and when I was fifteen, so a long time ago,

0:27:19.760 --> 0:27:23.960
<v Speaker 4>I was diagnosed with cancer. I went through four years

0:27:23.960 --> 0:27:27.800
<v Speaker 4>of chemo for it, and it's done, Like it's it's

0:27:27.840 --> 0:27:30.040
<v Speaker 4>not even something that I think about now because like

0:27:30.119 --> 0:27:34.080
<v Speaker 4>things are so normal now. But so last week or

0:27:34.080 --> 0:27:37.200
<v Speaker 4>the week before was the anniversary of my diagnosis, and

0:27:38.240 --> 0:27:41.000
<v Speaker 4>that's always a day for me to kind of look

0:27:41.040 --> 0:27:42.480
<v Speaker 4>back at that time because it was such a big

0:27:42.520 --> 0:27:45.680
<v Speaker 4>thing for me, Like, you know, a lot changed with that.

0:27:46.880 --> 0:27:49.679
<v Speaker 4>But knowing myself that I'm a verbal processor, like to

0:27:49.720 --> 0:27:53.680
<v Speaker 4>talk and I like to write, I like sometimes I'll

0:27:53.720 --> 0:27:56.000
<v Speaker 4>just talk with my friends about it, like on that day.

0:27:56.040 --> 0:27:59.920
<v Speaker 4>I pretty much don't talk about that very much out

0:28:00.040 --> 0:28:02.640
<v Speaker 4>side of that. But I told someone about it recently

0:28:02.640 --> 0:28:07.960
<v Speaker 4>who I thought was a pretty close friend, and basically

0:28:08.040 --> 0:28:10.800
<v Speaker 4>the response like this is this has happened before, like

0:28:10.840 --> 0:28:14.520
<v Speaker 4>in the past, you know, telling this and telling less

0:28:14.560 --> 0:28:16.600
<v Speaker 4>and less people over time, but some people get really

0:28:16.680 --> 0:28:22.520
<v Speaker 4>uncomfortable about it. So this person, though, like basically didn't

0:28:22.520 --> 0:28:26.000
<v Speaker 4>acknowledge it. They were kind of they were like, okay,

0:28:26.040 --> 0:28:27.920
<v Speaker 4>so you were in high school twelve years ago and

0:28:28.080 --> 0:28:30.600
<v Speaker 4>like doing the numbers and about it and stuff, but

0:28:30.640 --> 0:28:35.120
<v Speaker 4>didn't even mention the cancer thing once. So basically the

0:28:35.320 --> 0:28:39.959
<v Speaker 4>question that I am asking now is like, when, if

0:28:39.960 --> 0:28:41.880
<v Speaker 4>I'm going to share something like that with someone, is

0:28:41.920 --> 0:28:44.720
<v Speaker 4>it on the end of like the recipient, Like is

0:28:44.760 --> 0:28:47.760
<v Speaker 4>it their responsibility to be like, oh, I'm sorry to

0:28:47.760 --> 0:28:49.920
<v Speaker 4>hear that or something, or is it my job to

0:28:50.000 --> 0:28:54.120
<v Speaker 4>like tell it better? I guess it's kind of I

0:28:54.120 --> 0:28:57.080
<v Speaker 4>don't know if that makes sense, but yeah, curious, so

0:28:58.440 --> 0:28:59.240
<v Speaker 4>I would think about that.

0:29:00.080 --> 0:29:05.840
<v Speaker 1>Tell me you have told this story about when you

0:29:05.840 --> 0:29:09.840
<v Speaker 1>were fifteen to various people in your life, and you

0:29:09.880 --> 0:29:15.120
<v Speaker 1>have been unsatisfied with their reactions.

0:29:14.160 --> 0:29:17.200
<v Speaker 4>Uh, sometimes more than others. Like, well, I guess, I

0:29:17.200 --> 0:29:19.880
<v Speaker 4>mean that's an interesting point. Like I've got some close

0:29:19.880 --> 0:29:23.800
<v Speaker 4>friends that just respond really well and they're supportive and stuff.

0:29:23.920 --> 0:29:26.880
<v Speaker 4>But if there's ever a time that I'm telling someone

0:29:27.760 --> 0:29:31.240
<v Speaker 4>new about it, there's always the gamble of whether or

0:29:31.320 --> 0:29:33.080
<v Speaker 4>not it's going to make things weird, because it has

0:29:33.120 --> 0:29:34.800
<v Speaker 4>made things weird, and like I'm not I don't talk

0:29:34.800 --> 0:29:36.400
<v Speaker 4>with this person now anymore after it.

0:29:36.560 --> 0:29:38.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, let's let's I mean, let's get really into this

0:29:38.720 --> 0:29:41.840
<v Speaker 1>right now. When you say it makes things weird, when

0:29:41.880 --> 0:29:46.200
<v Speaker 1>you are getting a reaction that you feel is not

0:29:48.000 --> 0:29:55.160
<v Speaker 1>is a is a dissatisfactory reaction, explain to me why

0:29:55.200 --> 0:30:02.040
<v Speaker 1>the reaction is dissatisfactory and why it makes you weird.

0:30:02.840 --> 0:30:04.640
<v Speaker 4>Well, for one thing, I mean, in this case, it

0:30:04.680 --> 0:30:07.560
<v Speaker 4>was the extreme of like not even acknowledging it. Like

0:30:07.640 --> 0:30:11.600
<v Speaker 4>there's like if there's any uncomfort, like discomfort there, Like

0:30:11.640 --> 0:30:13.920
<v Speaker 4>I know that, like a topic like that can be uncomfortable.

0:30:13.920 --> 0:30:17.880
<v Speaker 4>I understand that. But like two, like I've had some

0:30:17.920 --> 0:30:20.560
<v Speaker 4>people say, hey, like that's that's a lot. I don't

0:30:20.560 --> 0:30:23.560
<v Speaker 4>even know what to say about that. But I guess

0:30:23.560 --> 0:30:30.440
<v Speaker 4>the response that I've seen that's dissatisfactory is like very

0:30:30.520 --> 0:30:33.720
<v Speaker 4>quickly wanting to move on to something else, not even

0:30:33.720 --> 0:30:36.520
<v Speaker 4>that I'm trying to like talk someone's ear off about it.

0:30:36.560 --> 0:30:42.080
<v Speaker 4>But shoot, it's hard to describe. But it's just it's

0:30:42.120 --> 0:30:43.920
<v Speaker 4>it turns people off like it's it. It just can be

0:30:43.960 --> 0:30:46.000
<v Speaker 4>off putting and it's visible. I don't know how else

0:30:46.040 --> 0:30:46.760
<v Speaker 4>to describe that.

0:30:47.400 --> 0:30:52.200
<v Speaker 1>Sure, sure, okay, Now tell me what a what a

0:30:52.240 --> 0:30:56.720
<v Speaker 1>satisfactory response to this looks like from from one of

0:30:56.720 --> 0:30:59.600
<v Speaker 1>your your friends? Tell me what you want from them?

0:30:59.680 --> 0:31:01.800
<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

0:31:01.840 --> 0:31:05.240
<v Speaker 4>Well, I think the people that know me well enough

0:31:05.280 --> 0:31:07.840
<v Speaker 4>know that that's not something that bugs me day to day.

0:31:07.880 --> 0:31:09.880
<v Speaker 4>Like again, like I said, I don't even think about

0:31:09.880 --> 0:31:14.800
<v Speaker 4>it that often. But it doesn't seem like they're taking

0:31:14.840 --> 0:31:17.760
<v Speaker 4>the weight of that on themselves. They're just like whoa,

0:31:17.800 --> 0:31:20.560
<v Speaker 4>that's amazing or that's crazy, or like that's horrible. Like

0:31:21.480 --> 0:31:26.680
<v Speaker 4>any reaction to it, I guess is better than That's

0:31:27.000 --> 0:31:31.160
<v Speaker 4>really hard. I'm man, I'm having a hard time describing this.

0:31:35.760 --> 0:31:37.800
<v Speaker 1>I ask you another question, and I don't and I

0:31:37.800 --> 0:31:40.600
<v Speaker 1>don't know what you have thought about this before, but

0:31:42.720 --> 0:31:45.560
<v Speaker 1>I asked you this genuinely. What why do you Why

0:31:45.600 --> 0:31:50.320
<v Speaker 1>does it matter to you how people respond to this?

0:31:52.200 --> 0:31:57.880
<v Speaker 4>Yeah? Well, I guess it's at this point in time,

0:31:57.960 --> 0:31:59.920
<v Speaker 4>the people that I'm sharing it with are people that

0:32:00.960 --> 0:32:04.040
<v Speaker 4>I want to know about. A big, a pretty big

0:32:04.080 --> 0:32:12.080
<v Speaker 4>part of my life, so like, I don't know, it's

0:32:12.120 --> 0:32:15.880
<v Speaker 4>just that desire to be more fully known as a person,

0:32:16.040 --> 0:32:20.680
<v Speaker 4>like getting I don't know, just in my background. Sorry, man,

0:32:20.680 --> 0:32:22.920
<v Speaker 4>I feel like i'm what was the question again.

0:32:23.640 --> 0:32:25.640
<v Speaker 1>I was asking you. It's okay, man, don't don't. Don't

0:32:25.640 --> 0:32:27.640
<v Speaker 1>stretch yourself out about trying to find, you know, a

0:32:27.640 --> 0:32:29.640
<v Speaker 1>perfect answer to any of these these questions. I'm just

0:32:29.680 --> 0:32:32.400
<v Speaker 1>trying to sure find out. I asked you why it's

0:32:32.440 --> 0:32:35.760
<v Speaker 1>important to you that people respond a certain way to this?

0:32:37.440 --> 0:32:47.240
<v Speaker 4>Oh hmm, that's an interesting question. I'm not quite sure

0:32:47.240 --> 0:32:47.920
<v Speaker 4>if I answer that.

0:32:50.400 --> 0:32:54.120
<v Speaker 1>Because here's the here's here's the thing is this is

0:32:54.200 --> 0:32:59.320
<v Speaker 1>a heavy This is to me like a heavy focus

0:33:00.080 --> 0:33:03.280
<v Speaker 1>on a thing that's outside of your control. I don't

0:33:03.280 --> 0:33:06.240
<v Speaker 1>know if you're looking at this as like some form

0:33:06.280 --> 0:33:07.520
<v Speaker 1>of a I don't know if you're looking at this

0:33:07.600 --> 0:33:11.320
<v Speaker 1>is some form of a litmus test, like you're almost

0:33:11.480 --> 0:33:17.040
<v Speaker 1>testing people to see if they are, you know, whatever, supportive.

0:33:18.120 --> 0:33:24.720
<v Speaker 1>But I think if you're going around having heavy expectations

0:33:25.480 --> 0:33:30.360
<v Speaker 1>of how other people should react to this thing, you're

0:33:30.480 --> 0:33:32.520
<v Speaker 1>tripping yourself up here.

0:33:33.320 --> 0:33:34.880
<v Speaker 4>That's really interesting.

0:33:35.720 --> 0:33:37.560
<v Speaker 1>I think you're tripping yourself up with this.

0:33:39.440 --> 0:33:44.120
<v Speaker 4>That's super interesting. I guess even broader than that, Like

0:33:44.360 --> 0:33:48.880
<v Speaker 4>I know that I'm pretty I like talking about more

0:33:48.880 --> 0:33:52.840
<v Speaker 4>complex topics. I know, I'm kind of philosophically inclined, and

0:33:53.040 --> 0:33:55.600
<v Speaker 4>I like just thinking and talking and doing art and

0:33:55.600 --> 0:33:58.479
<v Speaker 4>talking about art and stuff like that. So I feel like,

0:33:59.400 --> 0:34:02.640
<v Speaker 4>to me, this is something that has I mean, again,

0:34:02.720 --> 0:34:06.720
<v Speaker 4>it's over what is that twelve years ago that this happened,

0:34:06.760 --> 0:34:07.720
<v Speaker 4>So it's pretty.

0:34:08.600 --> 0:34:11.480
<v Speaker 1>And so you can't you were just it's funny to

0:34:11.480 --> 0:34:13.400
<v Speaker 1>be you were just doing well, it's funny to me

0:34:13.440 --> 0:34:15.239
<v Speaker 1>that you was doing math because you were you were

0:34:15.320 --> 0:34:18.120
<v Speaker 1>upset at the person who was who was doing Who's

0:34:18.160 --> 0:34:18.640
<v Speaker 1>doing math?

0:34:18.800 --> 0:34:24.520
<v Speaker 4>Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah, I guess ILL have to say

0:34:24.560 --> 0:34:26.560
<v Speaker 4>is that, like it is more normal for me and

0:34:27.239 --> 0:34:30.040
<v Speaker 4>have the expectation on the people for hearing that afresh,

0:34:30.640 --> 0:34:34.319
<v Speaker 4>Like it is not like a fresh story for me.

0:34:34.560 --> 0:34:36.520
<v Speaker 4>So when I go back and tell people it is

0:34:36.640 --> 0:34:39.880
<v Speaker 4>pretty like it's like a normal thing for me at

0:34:39.880 --> 0:34:42.560
<v Speaker 4>this point because it was so long ago when I've

0:34:42.600 --> 0:34:48.600
<v Speaker 4>like accepted it as such. So that's interesting about the expectations.

0:34:48.640 --> 0:34:50.840
<v Speaker 1>I just I mean, dude, if so you're telling I

0:34:50.840 --> 0:34:53.960
<v Speaker 1>mean you you've you've like let me if I can

0:34:54.000 --> 0:34:56.160
<v Speaker 1>bring up a few things that you've brought up over

0:34:56.200 --> 0:35:00.320
<v Speaker 1>the course of this conversation. You you've told us, you

0:35:00.040 --> 0:35:02.640
<v Speaker 1>you you, you kind of brought this up like, hey,

0:35:02.680 --> 0:35:05.080
<v Speaker 1>this was twelve years ago. This isn't even something I

0:35:05.120 --> 0:35:08.360
<v Speaker 1>really think about that much. It's just a thing to

0:35:08.400 --> 0:35:11.360
<v Speaker 1>share with people. This is what you do. Is that accurate?

0:35:11.880 --> 0:35:12.520
<v Speaker 1>Is that the truth?

0:35:13.560 --> 0:35:13.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:35:13.920 --> 0:35:14.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

0:35:14.200 --> 0:35:14.759
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:35:14.960 --> 0:35:17.440
<v Speaker 1>Okay? So when so when you tell it to people

0:35:18.400 --> 0:35:21.600
<v Speaker 1>and then to them they're like, oh, twelve years ago

0:35:21.680 --> 0:35:24.520
<v Speaker 1>you had cancer, okay, and then what's going on with

0:35:24.600 --> 0:35:28.720
<v Speaker 1>the fucking Mets this year? You know, like why why

0:35:28.840 --> 0:35:31.680
<v Speaker 1>is that? If they're taking it as much of a

0:35:31.719 --> 0:35:35.160
<v Speaker 1>thing as you take it as, why is that an

0:35:35.200 --> 0:35:35.719
<v Speaker 1>issue for you?

0:35:35.960 --> 0:35:41.279
<v Speaker 4>Super interesting? Uh, you're blow on my mind now, that's uh,

0:35:41.400 --> 0:35:44.359
<v Speaker 4>that's a really interesting point. It's kind of like I

0:35:44.400 --> 0:35:47.680
<v Speaker 4>want them to understand the severity of it, but also

0:35:47.719 --> 0:35:49.120
<v Speaker 4>that it's not a big deal, like it can't be

0:35:49.160 --> 0:35:53.279
<v Speaker 4>both hanned. Yeah that's interesting, man.

0:35:53.400 --> 0:35:56.680
<v Speaker 2>You you you want no.

0:35:56.719 --> 0:35:58.839
<v Speaker 1>Go ahead, please, I want to hear what you what

0:35:58.920 --> 0:35:59.719
<v Speaker 1>you felt, but I.

0:35:59.640 --> 0:36:03.000
<v Speaker 4>Do have thing to even just hearing you repeating my

0:36:03.080 --> 0:36:05.480
<v Speaker 4>questions back to me is kind of like, oh, my god, Like,

0:36:06.440 --> 0:36:08.840
<v Speaker 4>that's just not a way I've been seeing it before.

0:36:08.960 --> 0:36:12.799
<v Speaker 1>So okay, good, No, I'm glad you're thinking about this. Well,

0:36:12.880 --> 0:36:17.080
<v Speaker 1>just dude, just in general, you know, forgetting about you know,

0:36:17.120 --> 0:36:20.279
<v Speaker 1>we're talking about a severe thing. Forgetting about that, we're

0:36:20.280 --> 0:36:22.880
<v Speaker 1>talking about a big thing in your life. Just in general,

0:36:24.239 --> 0:36:29.160
<v Speaker 1>having expectations of how other people are going to react

0:36:29.239 --> 0:36:32.760
<v Speaker 1>to you or should react to you, and then getting

0:36:32.760 --> 0:36:35.960
<v Speaker 1>disappointed that those expectations is just going to trip you

0:36:36.000 --> 0:36:41.600
<v Speaker 1>the fuck up. So try not to have those expectations.

0:36:42.320 --> 0:36:43.920
<v Speaker 1>You said, it happens a lot in other areas. And

0:36:43.920 --> 0:36:45.960
<v Speaker 1>that's the thing. It doesn't matter what we're talking about.

0:36:46.040 --> 0:36:49.040
<v Speaker 1>If you having these expectations of other people is going

0:36:49.080 --> 0:36:53.600
<v Speaker 1>to respond to things, is is not going to do

0:36:53.680 --> 0:36:58.920
<v Speaker 1>you a whole lot of good. Unless if you are

0:36:59.080 --> 0:37:03.840
<v Speaker 1>unless if you're like navigating a relationship with someone and

0:37:03.920 --> 0:37:07.440
<v Speaker 1>you are openly expressing to them what you would like

0:37:08.200 --> 0:37:11.960
<v Speaker 1>from them. If you're doing it like that, I think

0:37:12.000 --> 0:37:14.040
<v Speaker 1>it's a good thing. But if you're just like quietly

0:37:14.160 --> 0:37:18.759
<v Speaker 1>hoping that somebody acts a certain way, you're not going

0:37:18.840 --> 0:37:22.320
<v Speaker 1>to get anywhere. And if you're getting upset that they don't,

0:37:22.800 --> 0:37:26.680
<v Speaker 1>you're just gonna lead yourself to more upset in this.

0:37:29.160 --> 0:37:36.560
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. Yeah, man, Well how about that. I've been really

0:37:36.560 --> 0:37:37.719
<v Speaker 4>helpful and illuminating.

0:37:37.760 --> 0:37:37.960
<v Speaker 2>Good.

0:37:38.480 --> 0:37:41.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm glad. I'm glad. Is there any aspect of any

0:37:41.680 --> 0:37:45.600
<v Speaker 1>of this or anything that we are any fucking anything

0:37:45.719 --> 0:37:48.440
<v Speaker 1>or something about the Mets that you want to say

0:37:48.680 --> 0:37:49.399
<v Speaker 1>before we go?

0:37:51.360 --> 0:37:53.239
<v Speaker 4>I don't know anything about the Mets, but I hope

0:37:53.239 --> 0:37:54.879
<v Speaker 4>they play well this year.

0:37:54.920 --> 0:37:56.720
<v Speaker 1>I hope they play well too.

0:37:57.880 --> 0:38:00.240
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, man, thanks for talking, Lyle.

0:38:00.719 --> 0:38:01.279
<v Speaker 1>Thanks for calling.

0:38:01.360 --> 0:38:04.000
<v Speaker 4>Nick had a great night.

0:38:05.120 --> 0:38:09.160
<v Speaker 1>That was that was interesting to me. Nick had a thing.

0:38:11.719 --> 0:38:16.359
<v Speaker 1>I'm just sitting here with Nick trying to understand his thing.

0:38:16.480 --> 0:38:19.239
<v Speaker 1>The best that was a little bit is it was difficult.

0:38:19.280 --> 0:38:23.480
<v Speaker 1>This is what I'm trying to do here. Nick had

0:38:23.480 --> 0:38:27.840
<v Speaker 1>a thing. I'm trying to understand this thing. It was

0:38:27.880 --> 0:38:30.719
<v Speaker 1>a little bit hard for me to understand, but I'm

0:38:30.719 --> 0:38:34.520
<v Speaker 1>trying my best to understand it. And then as I

0:38:34.600 --> 0:38:37.080
<v Speaker 1>go through to try to understand it, Nick is like,

0:38:37.200 --> 0:38:40.680
<v Speaker 1>oh fuck, I don't even understand this thing. And so

0:38:40.840 --> 0:38:44.080
<v Speaker 1>now both of us are on the same side of

0:38:44.080 --> 0:38:47.759
<v Speaker 1>the court trying to understand this thing. Then the thing

0:38:47.840 --> 0:38:51.759
<v Speaker 1>unravels itself, and then Nick maybe goes, oh maybe this

0:38:51.840 --> 0:38:55.239
<v Speaker 1>isn't a thing. Or maybe I haven't haven't looked at

0:38:55.239 --> 0:38:59.719
<v Speaker 1>this thing, you know, closely enough. Maybe I haven't even

0:38:59.800 --> 0:39:02.719
<v Speaker 1>under tried to understand this thing. That's kind of what

0:39:02.760 --> 0:39:03.719
<v Speaker 1>I feel like happened there.

0:39:05.000 --> 0:39:05.359
<v Speaker 5>And I don't.

0:39:05.360 --> 0:39:08.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't know anything about the Mets. And I appreciate

0:39:08.800 --> 0:39:13.880
<v Speaker 1>Nick for Sharon. What's going on? What's up with you?

0:39:15.360 --> 0:39:15.560
<v Speaker 2>Hi?

0:39:16.080 --> 0:39:20.719
<v Speaker 5>So we're Kevin and Olivia? Uh and uh sorry? If

0:39:20.920 --> 0:39:23.000
<v Speaker 5>you hear some dogs running in the background.

0:39:22.640 --> 0:39:26.360
<v Speaker 1>Which one which one are you? Are you Kevin or Olivia?

0:39:28.080 --> 0:39:28.880
<v Speaker 5>It depends on the day.

0:39:28.920 --> 0:39:32.000
<v Speaker 1>I guess no, dot doesn't. There's which one are you?

0:39:32.120 --> 0:39:32.160
<v Speaker 2>You?

0:39:32.239 --> 0:39:32.960
<v Speaker 1>Kevin or Olivia?

0:39:34.680 --> 0:39:34.919
<v Speaker 2>Kevin?

0:39:35.000 --> 0:39:35.399
<v Speaker 5>Right now?

0:39:36.680 --> 0:39:39.279
<v Speaker 1>You're Kevin right now. You don't have to you don't

0:39:39.280 --> 0:39:41.120
<v Speaker 1>have we You can just tell me the answer to

0:39:41.160 --> 0:39:42.400
<v Speaker 1>the question, are Kevin or Olivia?

0:39:43.560 --> 0:39:44.120
<v Speaker 5>I'm Kevin?

0:39:44.719 --> 0:39:47.799
<v Speaker 1>Okay? All right? That was it is not everything has

0:39:47.840 --> 0:39:51.800
<v Speaker 1>to be like a crazy riff, you know, for sure?

0:39:51.840 --> 0:39:52.239
<v Speaker 5>For sure?

0:39:52.800 --> 0:39:56.960
<v Speaker 1>And then she's there's the other You're not what's your

0:39:57.680 --> 0:39:58.600
<v Speaker 1>the other person's name?

0:40:00.480 --> 0:40:00.920
<v Speaker 5>Olivia?

0:40:01.360 --> 0:40:03.680
<v Speaker 1>Kevin? I'm sorry is mean to you just now, but

0:40:03.800 --> 0:40:07.399
<v Speaker 1>I don't I don't regret it, because it was kind

0:40:07.400 --> 0:40:10.040
<v Speaker 1>of fun, you know, I feel like I tried it.

0:40:11.160 --> 0:40:13.040
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I try to be nice to people

0:40:13.200 --> 0:40:17.440
<v Speaker 1>usually and then I'm like, all right, once I'm nice

0:40:17.480 --> 0:40:21.080
<v Speaker 1>to enough callers, I feel like it earns me. I

0:40:21.080 --> 0:40:24.719
<v Speaker 1>can be mean. You know, I don't know. I don't

0:40:24.719 --> 0:40:28.320
<v Speaker 1>have an exact I don't have like an exact formula

0:40:29.280 --> 0:40:32.160
<v Speaker 1>of like how many me being nice to call her

0:40:32.160 --> 0:40:34.880
<v Speaker 1>as equals I can be mean to one, But I

0:40:34.920 --> 0:40:37.279
<v Speaker 1>feel like for every five that I'm nice to, I

0:40:37.280 --> 0:40:39.640
<v Speaker 1>can be I can be mean to one as a

0:40:39.719 --> 0:40:46.520
<v Speaker 1>random number. That's not the system. But okay, Kevin. It

0:40:46.600 --> 0:40:50.360
<v Speaker 1>says that you and Olivia are a couple.

0:40:51.880 --> 0:40:52.160
<v Speaker 6>Yes.

0:40:53.040 --> 0:40:57.520
<v Speaker 1>It says that you guys are sexually adventurous.

0:40:58.560 --> 0:41:00.360
<v Speaker 5>Oh, she was actually telling me that I shouldn't said that,

0:41:00.440 --> 0:41:02.360
<v Speaker 5>and just like the blunt and say we're swingers.

0:41:03.560 --> 0:41:07.359
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I feel like sexually adventure I feel like both

0:41:07.400 --> 0:41:08.400
<v Speaker 1>of them are fairly blunt.

0:41:10.560 --> 0:41:14.480
<v Speaker 5>That's fair, okay, But everybody has a different definition. I

0:41:14.480 --> 0:41:17.080
<v Speaker 5>think of an adventurous, but the swinger one kind of

0:41:17.080 --> 0:41:17.799
<v Speaker 5>only means one thing.

0:41:18.560 --> 0:41:21.280
<v Speaker 1>That is a good point. That is a good point,

0:41:22.520 --> 0:41:22.920
<v Speaker 1>cheers man.

0:41:23.040 --> 0:41:23.440
<v Speaker 5>Good to hear.

0:41:24.200 --> 0:41:26.319
<v Speaker 1>So it says here.

0:41:26.120 --> 0:41:33.880
<v Speaker 7>That you had a uh an experience the you that

0:41:34.000 --> 0:41:39.640
<v Speaker 7>you both describe as interesting but weird with another couple,

0:41:39.680 --> 0:41:42.279
<v Speaker 7>and you wanted to talk today about that.

0:41:43.680 --> 0:41:47.680
<v Speaker 5>Yes, correct, there was a couple of couples. Actually, there's a.

0:41:47.640 --> 0:41:49.279
<v Speaker 1>Couple of couples. Can I want to I feel like

0:41:49.280 --> 0:41:51.680
<v Speaker 1>I've talked to you for three minutes. I should talk

0:41:51.719 --> 0:41:52.479
<v Speaker 1>to Olivia now.

0:41:53.840 --> 0:41:57.319
<v Speaker 5>Shoot, she says no. But yeah, I asked. She said no,

0:41:58.000 --> 0:42:01.839
<v Speaker 5>she does not want to. No, I guess not. But

0:42:01.880 --> 0:42:02.800
<v Speaker 5>we do want your advice.

0:42:03.440 --> 0:42:04.800
<v Speaker 1>Okay, all right, she didn't have to talk if she

0:42:04.840 --> 0:42:07.879
<v Speaker 1>didn't want to. Okay, yes, tell me, tell me what's

0:42:07.920 --> 0:42:08.520
<v Speaker 1>going on, keV.

0:42:10.000 --> 0:42:13.480
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, no problem. Uh so, Uh one of the couples

0:42:13.520 --> 0:42:16.680
<v Speaker 5>is actually I think the first couple that we met

0:42:16.760 --> 0:42:19.319
<v Speaker 5>up with when we started doing this, and uh, they

0:42:19.320 --> 0:42:21.759
<v Speaker 5>were back in town and they invited us to their

0:42:21.800 --> 0:42:24.440
<v Speaker 5>friend's house for a for a you know, swinger party,

0:42:25.640 --> 0:42:27.360
<v Speaker 5>and uh, you know it was a stranger's house, but

0:42:27.360 --> 0:42:30.120
<v Speaker 5>we were glad to be invited. Uh. We brought you know, snacks,

0:42:30.200 --> 0:42:33.640
<v Speaker 5>made sure that we weren't uh we weren't just like

0:42:35.400 --> 0:42:36.800
<v Speaker 5>I don't know bo guardian is the right word, but

0:42:36.840 --> 0:42:38.560
<v Speaker 5>you know, like we wanted to show up and be

0:42:38.640 --> 0:42:42.040
<v Speaker 5>good guests, you know, don't show up and t handed

0:42:42.440 --> 0:42:46.480
<v Speaker 5>type of stuff, and uh yeah, we were having a blast.

0:42:46.520 --> 0:42:49.520
<v Speaker 5>We had some drinks together, some other stuff that I

0:42:49.560 --> 0:42:54.160
<v Speaker 5>probably shouldn't go into. But uh then, uh, it turns

0:42:54.160 --> 0:42:56.359
<v Speaker 5>out that there was supposed to be another couple there

0:42:56.440 --> 0:42:59.479
<v Speaker 5>and this was it wounded up being just one guy,

0:43:01.040 --> 0:43:02.920
<v Speaker 5>and so it was an odd number that night. So

0:43:02.960 --> 0:43:07.279
<v Speaker 5>that's already where it starts to get weird, because uh yeah,

0:43:07.320 --> 0:43:09.880
<v Speaker 5>it's like we've got I feel like everybody's got their

0:43:09.880 --> 0:43:13.759
<v Speaker 5>own rules about this kind of stuff. And uh yeah,

0:43:13.920 --> 0:43:15.880
<v Speaker 5>I mean we didn't mind it when it was just

0:43:15.920 --> 0:43:18.759
<v Speaker 5>the drinking and the chatting, but then it gets to

0:43:18.880 --> 0:43:21.040
<v Speaker 5>the bedroom and that's when it starts to get a

0:43:21.080 --> 0:43:26.319
<v Speaker 5>little uncomfortable. But uh, I mean I think because we're

0:43:26.320 --> 0:43:29.719
<v Speaker 5>so new, we were like not not sure what to

0:43:29.719 --> 0:43:32.400
<v Speaker 5>say about it. Uh And I know that's definitely on

0:43:32.520 --> 0:43:34.080
<v Speaker 5>us for not for not speaking up, you know.

0:43:34.719 --> 0:43:37.799
<v Speaker 1>So, I mean there were five.

0:43:37.920 --> 0:43:40.160
<v Speaker 5>There were seven total, seven totally.

0:43:40.120 --> 0:43:46.080
<v Speaker 1>Seven oh seven. I mean, look, okay, I mean look what. Yeah,

0:43:46.960 --> 0:43:48.680
<v Speaker 1>by the time there's seven, it's like, is there is

0:43:48.680 --> 0:43:50.520
<v Speaker 1>there we even going to notice that there's an odd number.

0:43:52.160 --> 0:43:59.840
<v Speaker 6>We definitely noticed, We definitely noticed. He was like watching every.

0:43:58.239 --> 0:43:59.759
<v Speaker 5>It kind of put us on edge, you know, like

0:43:59.800 --> 0:44:01.480
<v Speaker 5>we we had to keep looking over our shoulder and

0:44:01.480 --> 0:44:02.359
<v Speaker 5>make sure that made sure.

0:44:02.280 --> 0:44:07.560
<v Speaker 1>Wait wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, Olivia, Yes,

0:44:07.960 --> 0:44:08.799
<v Speaker 1>do you want to talk now?

0:44:10.360 --> 0:44:12.680
<v Speaker 6>I just was saying that with seven people, it was

0:44:12.719 --> 0:44:14.759
<v Speaker 6>definitely weird because he was like sitting in a chair

0:44:14.800 --> 0:44:17.399
<v Speaker 6>like watching everybody, and it was weird, and we kept

0:44:17.400 --> 0:44:18.799
<v Speaker 6>being afraid that he was going to get up and

0:44:18.840 --> 0:44:19.839
<v Speaker 6>try to come join in.

0:44:21.040 --> 0:44:24.239
<v Speaker 1>Well isn't that the I mean, you guys went to

0:44:24.280 --> 0:44:26.800
<v Speaker 1>an orgy?

0:44:28.440 --> 0:44:31.000
<v Speaker 5>I guess so. Yeah, but like I said, like a

0:44:31.000 --> 0:44:35.600
<v Speaker 5>lot of everybody's got different rules and okay, it's certain, yeah,

0:44:35.680 --> 0:44:36.960
<v Speaker 5>certain things weren't communicated.

0:44:37.920 --> 0:44:38.240
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:44:38.880 --> 0:44:41.480
<v Speaker 5>And also, by the way, well this guy was not

0:44:41.520 --> 0:44:43.480
<v Speaker 5>supposed to but we we thought that he had a

0:44:43.520 --> 0:44:46.600
<v Speaker 5>girl and she couldn't make it. We don't know if

0:44:46.640 --> 0:44:48.279
<v Speaker 5>like they had like a falling out or something, but

0:44:48.800 --> 0:44:51.040
<v Speaker 5>it seemed to us like he might have gotten dumped.

0:44:51.080 --> 0:44:55.640
<v Speaker 5>And uh, yeah, he was invited for I don't know.

0:44:55.640 --> 0:44:58.040
<v Speaker 5>I mean, they knew each other more than we knew them,

0:44:58.400 --> 0:45:00.400
<v Speaker 5>so we couldn't, you know, say anything about who they

0:45:00.400 --> 0:45:01.440
<v Speaker 5>were having over to their house.

0:45:02.080 --> 0:45:08.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, So Okay, so this guy was there, it

0:45:08.520 --> 0:45:12.960
<v Speaker 1>made you uncomfortable? And then how did this lead to

0:45:14.040 --> 0:45:16.560
<v Speaker 1>what would you describe as a I mean, did this

0:45:17.680 --> 0:45:20.760
<v Speaker 1>how did this situation kind of progress?

0:45:21.560 --> 0:45:25.200
<v Speaker 5>Okay, so it gets to get a little bit later.

0:45:25.200 --> 0:45:27.480
<v Speaker 5>Everyone's having fun. This guy is sitting in his chair

0:45:27.560 --> 0:45:30.680
<v Speaker 5>and like two of the girls are you know, playing

0:45:30.719 --> 0:45:34.440
<v Speaker 5>with him. But we don't really like to do that

0:45:34.520 --> 0:45:37.720
<v Speaker 5>with single people. That's kind of one of our rules.

0:45:38.200 --> 0:45:42.400
<v Speaker 5>Got so, uh, that's fine, Like if they want to,

0:45:42.680 --> 0:45:44.160
<v Speaker 5>if they want to, you know, hang out with him,

0:45:44.160 --> 0:45:47.320
<v Speaker 5>that's fine, But it also kind of leaves it leaves

0:45:47.360 --> 0:45:51.600
<v Speaker 5>an extra rod, if you know what I'm saying, Like, yeah,

0:45:51.600 --> 0:45:54.240
<v Speaker 5>there's there wasn't there wasn't enough women to go around

0:45:54.239 --> 0:45:58.319
<v Speaker 5>for this many guys. Ah, if if you wanted to

0:45:58.400 --> 0:46:01.520
<v Speaker 5>like be one on one, I guess, And like I said,

0:46:01.560 --> 0:46:04.920
<v Speaker 5>just look like like the uh the fear of having

0:46:05.120 --> 0:46:06.600
<v Speaker 5>not a fear, I guess, but like just having to

0:46:06.600 --> 0:46:09.120
<v Speaker 5>look over our shoulders and make sure that nothing untoward

0:46:09.239 --> 0:46:12.279
<v Speaker 5>was going on on our end, because like you know,

0:46:12.440 --> 0:46:14.520
<v Speaker 5>you're you're not always going to be able to to

0:46:14.600 --> 0:46:17.440
<v Speaker 5>look at who's in these situations. You're not always going

0:46:17.480 --> 0:46:20.000
<v Speaker 5>to be able to see who's who's in your periphery.

0:46:20.040 --> 0:46:21.080
<v Speaker 1>I guess sure.

0:46:22.200 --> 0:46:23.720
<v Speaker 5>So we wanted to make sure that only the people

0:46:23.760 --> 0:46:27.319
<v Speaker 5>that were consented to were touching this, you know, right.

0:46:30.400 --> 0:46:34.240
<v Speaker 1>So well, okay, so I mean it says here, uh

0:46:34.719 --> 0:46:38.320
<v Speaker 1>that the couple that you went swinging with, it says

0:46:38.320 --> 0:46:41.680
<v Speaker 1>you've you seem like they were upset at you guys

0:46:41.719 --> 0:46:46.719
<v Speaker 1>for quote talking about bisexuality.

0:46:46.800 --> 0:46:49.239
<v Speaker 5>Yes, yeah, that that's kind of is that the issue there?

0:46:49.800 --> 0:46:50.040
<v Speaker 1>Okay?

0:46:50.080 --> 0:46:56.400
<v Speaker 5>What yeah, no problem? Uh so, uh that part is

0:46:56.440 --> 0:46:59.120
<v Speaker 5>more related to me. Uh and I think what kind

0:46:59.160 --> 0:47:01.560
<v Speaker 5>of There were few things that kind of brought that up.

0:47:02.320 --> 0:47:04.439
<v Speaker 5>One of them being this odd number and not knowing

0:47:04.440 --> 0:47:07.000
<v Speaker 5>what to do with that extra guy, and then another

0:47:07.040 --> 0:47:08.960
<v Speaker 5>one being the drinking and the other stuff that we

0:47:08.960 --> 0:47:13.160
<v Speaker 5>were talking about. Let's just say that we were feeling ecstatic.

0:47:13.880 --> 0:47:17.240
<v Speaker 5>Uh and uh, I get a little like touchy and grabby,

0:47:17.280 --> 0:47:20.640
<v Speaker 5>and I hadn't done it in a while. So I

0:47:20.680 --> 0:47:22.839
<v Speaker 5>was like, well, let me vocalize this and see how

0:47:22.880 --> 0:47:25.640
<v Speaker 5>see how everybody's feeling about this, because like, there's an

0:47:25.680 --> 0:47:27.319
<v Speaker 5>there's an extra dude here, what do we do about that?

0:47:27.600 --> 0:47:29.839
<v Speaker 5>So I asked, hey, how does how does everybody feel

0:47:29.880 --> 0:47:31.560
<v Speaker 5>about like it?

0:47:31.600 --> 0:47:32.000
<v Speaker 2>Wasn't odd.

0:47:32.000 --> 0:47:33.799
<v Speaker 5>I mean, it wouldn't be obvious to everyone, but I mean,

0:47:34.160 --> 0:47:35.840
<v Speaker 5>I think the majority of people are okay with like

0:47:35.880 --> 0:47:38.879
<v Speaker 5>girl and girl stuff. But I felt like I had

0:47:38.880 --> 0:47:40.759
<v Speaker 5>to ask, so, how do you guys feel about like

0:47:40.760 --> 0:47:42.560
<v Speaker 5>guy on guy stuff? And I think, you know, in

0:47:42.560 --> 0:47:44.439
<v Speaker 5>the back of my mind, I was thinking, because there's

0:47:44.440 --> 0:47:46.960
<v Speaker 5>an extra guy, like, somebody's got to you know, make

0:47:47.000 --> 0:47:50.560
<v Speaker 5>sure that that you know every like everybody's involved.

0:47:50.560 --> 0:47:55.719
<v Speaker 1>I guess so you you were about to take one

0:47:55.719 --> 0:47:58.479
<v Speaker 1>for the team and hook up with this extra guy,

0:47:59.840 --> 0:48:00.400
<v Speaker 1>you could.

0:48:00.280 --> 0:48:02.080
<v Speaker 5>Call it that, sure, Yeah, I mean mainly so that,

0:48:02.280 --> 0:48:04.640
<v Speaker 5>like so that the three guys that were in a

0:48:04.680 --> 0:48:08.360
<v Speaker 5>couple could could have their own their own their own girls,

0:48:08.480 --> 0:48:11.880
<v Speaker 5>their own lady partner, not not their own, but you know,

0:48:11.960 --> 0:48:13.840
<v Speaker 5>so that the three guys that were in a couple

0:48:13.880 --> 0:48:17.279
<v Speaker 5>could have a swapping situation and not have to worry

0:48:17.320 --> 0:48:18.120
<v Speaker 5>about this extra guy.

0:48:19.000 --> 0:48:21.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm having trouble keeping track of all these numbers,

0:48:21.120 --> 0:48:24.600
<v Speaker 1>but continue.

0:48:24.000 --> 0:48:25.839
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I thought I thought that that's kind of why

0:48:25.840 --> 0:48:27.800
<v Speaker 5>we called because it was it was it kind of

0:48:27.800 --> 0:48:28.799
<v Speaker 5>frazzled us, you know.

0:48:29.200 --> 0:48:33.399
<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, So, so so you vocalized to the group, hey,

0:48:33.760 --> 0:48:36.719
<v Speaker 1>is it. Okay, if I hook up with this one

0:48:36.840 --> 0:48:40.440
<v Speaker 1>guy that's sitting here, yes, yeah, okay, what is what happens?

0:48:40.640 --> 0:48:42.960
<v Speaker 5>Not specifically him, just like just a guy in general,

0:48:43.040 --> 0:48:45.520
<v Speaker 5>just so that like so that everybody would have like

0:48:45.719 --> 0:48:46.520
<v Speaker 5>somebody to be with.

0:48:46.719 --> 0:48:49.760
<v Speaker 1>Okay. So you're you're like, hey, do the other dudes

0:48:49.760 --> 0:48:52.319
<v Speaker 1>here also like dudes and one hook up with me?

0:48:52.840 --> 0:48:57.440
<v Speaker 1>Yes exactly, yes, yes, okay. And then what happened?

0:48:59.120 --> 0:49:00.920
<v Speaker 5>Uh, Like I said, I think the kind of the

0:49:00.960 --> 0:49:04.760
<v Speaker 5>mood started to turn a little bit, so maybe not sour,

0:49:04.800 --> 0:49:09.080
<v Speaker 5>but definitely tangy. And we went out to get like

0:49:09.160 --> 0:49:12.200
<v Speaker 5>a like a I don't know, something to drink or something.

0:49:12.520 --> 0:49:15.360
<v Speaker 5>We stepped out of the room and the guy that

0:49:15.440 --> 0:49:18.319
<v Speaker 5>invited us, the guy that invited us there, uh kind

0:49:18.320 --> 0:49:20.879
<v Speaker 5>of uh took us, took us aside to this other

0:49:21.000 --> 0:49:25.040
<v Speaker 5>room and like expressed to us, hey, you know, like

0:49:25.320 --> 0:49:26.799
<v Speaker 5>I'm not going to judge you for something like this,

0:49:27.120 --> 0:49:31.040
<v Speaker 5>but there are people in that room that get turned

0:49:31.040 --> 0:49:33.399
<v Speaker 5>off and don't feel comfortable with talking about stuff like that.

0:49:34.239 --> 0:49:36.160
<v Speaker 5>And you know, like we were all inegraated. So I

0:49:36.160 --> 0:49:37.719
<v Speaker 5>was like yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, okay, but you know,

0:49:37.760 --> 0:49:39.520
<v Speaker 5>after a couple of days of thinking about it. I'm like,

0:49:40.120 --> 0:49:42.320
<v Speaker 5>why didn't this come up when I asked the question,

0:49:42.320 --> 0:49:44.640
<v Speaker 5>why did we have to go into like this separate

0:49:44.719 --> 0:49:47.120
<v Speaker 5>room and be talked to about this like we're children

0:49:48.480 --> 0:49:51.520
<v Speaker 5>rather than just everybody like talk about it as adults.

0:49:53.080 --> 0:49:54.359
<v Speaker 5>And yeah, they haven't gotten black.

0:49:55.320 --> 0:49:56.719
<v Speaker 1>What did what Olivia is just say, I want to

0:49:56.719 --> 0:49:57.360
<v Speaker 1>talk to Olivia.

0:49:58.880 --> 0:50:01.960
<v Speaker 6>Oh just a that night. They haven't like contacted us

0:50:02.000 --> 0:50:03.640
<v Speaker 6>really and we've like tried to talk to them, and

0:50:03.680 --> 0:50:06.040
<v Speaker 6>they've been like very like cold and short with us,

0:50:06.080 --> 0:50:08.280
<v Speaker 6>and we're like, what's wrong?

0:50:08.600 --> 0:50:09.879
<v Speaker 2>I guess, And so I.

0:50:09.800 --> 0:50:11.640
<v Speaker 5>Guess the main I look, I mean look it.

0:50:13.200 --> 0:50:15.960
<v Speaker 1>Well, okay, tell me what the main the main question is, I.

0:50:15.880 --> 0:50:19.160
<v Speaker 5>Suppose, Yeah, like basically, how do we breach these topics

0:50:19.200 --> 0:50:22.480
<v Speaker 5>with people that you know, we hope to still consider friends.

0:50:22.760 --> 0:50:26.399
<v Speaker 5>But like if if they've got like not very good

0:50:26.440 --> 0:50:29.839
<v Speaker 5>reasons for uh, I guess, you know, separating us from

0:50:29.840 --> 0:50:32.319
<v Speaker 5>the group, then we probably won't want to be friends

0:50:32.320 --> 0:50:34.000
<v Speaker 5>with them. But we want to know how to start

0:50:34.000 --> 0:50:34.640
<v Speaker 5>this conversation.

0:50:35.400 --> 0:50:38.560
<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean I can, I mean, I have all right,

0:50:38.960 --> 0:50:41.279
<v Speaker 1>I think I understood everything you just told me, but

0:50:41.360 --> 0:50:43.160
<v Speaker 1>I I am.

0:50:43.080 --> 0:50:44.920
<v Speaker 5>If you want to reiterate, go ahead and.

0:50:44.800 --> 0:50:49.200
<v Speaker 1>Then where I am eighty percent charge just understood everything

0:50:49.200 --> 0:50:49.719
<v Speaker 1>you just said to me.

0:50:49.960 --> 0:50:51.439
<v Speaker 5>Okay, that's a passing threate.

0:50:52.120 --> 0:50:55.280
<v Speaker 1>You asked me. You you said, Okay, how do we iterate?

0:50:56.160 --> 0:50:59.719
<v Speaker 1>I mean you you? You did? You said to the group, hey,

0:50:59.800 --> 0:51:03.000
<v Speaker 1>are you guys cool with guys hooking up with guys?

0:51:03.520 --> 0:51:06.480
<v Speaker 1>And you did it? You said it. You you asked,

0:51:06.600 --> 0:51:11.280
<v Speaker 1>just now, how do I articulate myself to the group? You?

0:51:11.280 --> 0:51:16.080
<v Speaker 1>You did? You articulated yourself to the group in a

0:51:16.120 --> 0:51:21.239
<v Speaker 1>way that sounds to me very clear, very vocal, and

0:51:21.320 --> 0:51:22.200
<v Speaker 1>so great.

0:51:23.040 --> 0:51:23.160
<v Speaker 5>Uh.

0:51:23.280 --> 0:51:29.320
<v Speaker 1>The group reacted in a way that is unfavorable for

0:51:29.880 --> 0:51:35.280
<v Speaker 1>whatever reason that I think is almost not even worth

0:51:36.160 --> 0:51:44.080
<v Speaker 1>speculating upon. And they reacted however they reacted. It's whatever.

0:51:44.440 --> 0:51:47.200
<v Speaker 1>Different things make different people uncomfortable when they're in a

0:51:47.239 --> 0:51:54.719
<v Speaker 1>situation like that. Okay, and you want to be and

0:51:54.760 --> 0:51:57.640
<v Speaker 1>your thing is that you still want to be friends

0:51:57.640 --> 0:52:00.400
<v Speaker 1>with these folks.

0:52:00.280 --> 0:52:03.080
<v Speaker 5>Yes, uh, but obviously not if it's like a like

0:52:03.160 --> 0:52:06.319
<v Speaker 5>a I mean, the that's sort a big word out there,

0:52:06.320 --> 0:52:08.399
<v Speaker 5>Like if they're bigoted about it, then we definitely don't

0:52:08.440 --> 0:52:10.640
<v Speaker 5>want to see them again. But if it was just

0:52:10.760 --> 0:52:13.120
<v Speaker 5>like an uncomfortable thing, and like maybe they didn't know

0:52:13.160 --> 0:52:16.520
<v Speaker 5>how to vocalize it. That's totally understandable. But we want

0:52:16.560 --> 0:52:19.000
<v Speaker 5>to be able to start this conversation that we're having.

0:52:18.719 --> 0:52:21.239
<v Speaker 1>With you, okay, with them with do.

0:52:21.160 --> 0:52:22.520
<v Speaker 5>You do you?

0:52:23.400 --> 0:52:25.640
<v Speaker 1>Okay? Okay, all right, all right, okay, I think I'm

0:52:25.680 --> 0:52:30.200
<v Speaker 1>starting to understand this more now you are interpreted, Okay,

0:52:30.239 --> 0:52:35.600
<v Speaker 1>you are interpreting their reaction to you asking the group

0:52:35.680 --> 0:52:38.480
<v Speaker 1>if guys in the group can hook up with other

0:52:38.480 --> 0:52:45.120
<v Speaker 1>guys as a homophobic reaction.

0:52:47.880 --> 0:52:48.480
<v Speaker 2>We don't know.

0:52:48.600 --> 0:52:50.680
<v Speaker 5>That's the that's the problem is that we're we're running

0:52:50.719 --> 0:52:53.879
<v Speaker 5>all the scenarios through our head and we just don't

0:52:53.920 --> 0:52:56.319
<v Speaker 5>know which one, which one it could be, But we

0:52:56.360 --> 0:52:58.840
<v Speaker 5>want to find out, So we want to ask these people,

0:52:58.880 --> 0:53:00.000
<v Speaker 5>but we don't know how to bring it up.

0:53:02.239 --> 0:53:06.000
<v Speaker 1>What exactly do you want to ask them?

0:53:06.040 --> 0:53:09.839
<v Speaker 5>So like basically like are are people upset with us?

0:53:10.000 --> 0:53:11.880
<v Speaker 5>Or like did we make did we make them uncomfortable?

0:53:11.920 --> 0:53:14.000
<v Speaker 5>Like why didn't they want to Like it's several questions.

0:53:14.040 --> 0:53:16.880
<v Speaker 5>Why didn't they like want to keep talking? Uh uh?

0:53:17.520 --> 0:53:19.880
<v Speaker 5>Why didn't they talk to us instead of sending somebody

0:53:19.920 --> 0:53:24.640
<v Speaker 5>else to send the message? And ultimately like if they

0:53:24.680 --> 0:53:26.719
<v Speaker 5>still want to be friends.

0:53:29.760 --> 0:53:39.640
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Kevin, uh And Olivia, Okay, listen, I think I think, uh,

0:53:41.680 --> 0:53:45.440
<v Speaker 1>from from where I sit this thing and I don't know.

0:53:45.480 --> 0:53:47.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't know you guys, but I guess from where

0:53:47.960 --> 0:53:51.600
<v Speaker 1>I sit right now, this thing that was supposed to

0:53:51.640 --> 0:53:55.240
<v Speaker 1>be a fun adventure for you guys has turned into

0:53:55.480 --> 0:54:03.839
<v Speaker 1>something weird and anxious and stressful. Yes, And so I

0:54:03.880 --> 0:54:08.279
<v Speaker 1>would just if if you have had a bad experience

0:54:08.480 --> 0:54:11.759
<v Speaker 1>for whatever reason you know, I mean, it sounds like

0:54:12.040 --> 0:54:15.760
<v Speaker 1>you don't have enough information to to to label it correctly,

0:54:17.800 --> 0:54:20.600
<v Speaker 1>just tell these people, just Kevin, if I were you,

0:54:20.640 --> 0:54:21.880
<v Speaker 1>I would just tell these people you just want to

0:54:21.880 --> 0:54:25.799
<v Speaker 1>be friends with them, and then and then if you

0:54:25.920 --> 0:54:32.080
<v Speaker 1>and your partner desire to swing again, go find another

0:54:32.120 --> 0:54:35.360
<v Speaker 1>group to swing with. I I believe it as simple

0:54:35.400 --> 0:54:35.759
<v Speaker 1>as that.

0:54:37.480 --> 0:54:38.760
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I think you're right.

0:54:40.800 --> 0:54:43.920
<v Speaker 1>Olivia, Olivia, what did you want to say?

0:54:44.120 --> 0:54:44.279
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

0:54:44.320 --> 0:54:46.280
<v Speaker 6>I like your answer. I think that's a good answer.

0:54:46.800 --> 0:54:48.440
<v Speaker 1>Okay, good, good.

0:54:51.560 --> 0:54:59.400
<v Speaker 5>Uh.

0:54:59.560 --> 0:55:03.120
<v Speaker 1>I hope you guys have a good are you guys?

0:55:03.120 --> 0:55:05.839
<v Speaker 1>Seem like you're gonna have fun with your lives. I

0:55:05.840 --> 0:55:09.640
<v Speaker 1>hope you keep doing that. Of course, thank you? Is

0:55:09.640 --> 0:55:10.960
<v Speaker 1>is there anything else you want to say to the

0:55:11.000 --> 0:55:12.279
<v Speaker 1>people the computer before we go.

0:55:13.760 --> 0:55:17.920
<v Speaker 5>You guys need to honestly, you need to share all

0:55:17.960 --> 0:55:19.719
<v Speaker 5>those links that you see in the corner. You need

0:55:19.760 --> 0:55:23.040
<v Speaker 5>to share those with everybody that you know and pump

0:55:23.280 --> 0:55:27.760
<v Speaker 5>up the numbers on this stream. Oh yeah, okay, send

0:55:27.760 --> 0:55:31.520
<v Speaker 5>people to therapy, get go, send people to Lyle Forever,

0:55:31.960 --> 0:55:34.600
<v Speaker 5>send them to these guys, to this guy's links, because

0:55:35.440 --> 0:55:36.960
<v Speaker 5>I want to see those numbers get bigger.

0:55:37.440 --> 0:55:39.480
<v Speaker 1>You guys, don't put me on while you're having the orgies,

0:55:39.520 --> 0:55:39.799
<v Speaker 1>do you.

0:55:42.400 --> 0:55:42.600
<v Speaker 6>Yet?

0:55:42.800 --> 0:55:43.560
<v Speaker 5>We will? Now?

0:55:44.320 --> 0:55:47.640
<v Speaker 1>Okay? Cool? Because I feel like if you're if you're

0:55:47.640 --> 0:55:50.719
<v Speaker 1>talking about sharing new people, yeah, that would get that,

0:55:50.719 --> 0:55:51.680
<v Speaker 1>that would bring up the numbers.

0:55:52.760 --> 0:55:53.520
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, exactly.

0:55:55.960 --> 0:55:58.440
<v Speaker 1>I'll talk to you guys soon, right on.

0:55:58.520 --> 0:55:59.480
<v Speaker 5>Thank you, Lyle, Love you.

0:56:04.360 --> 0:56:06.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay. I feel like I blacked out for that entire call,

0:56:06.640 --> 0:56:08.480
<v Speaker 1>but I that's why I said I understood about eighty

0:56:08.520 --> 0:56:14.400
<v Speaker 1>five percent of it. Swinging sounds fun. I don't know.

0:56:15.840 --> 0:56:20.239
<v Speaker 1>I feel like that that could be interesting. I've never

0:56:20.280 --> 0:56:23.759
<v Speaker 1>been to an orgy before, but I would. I don't

0:56:23.760 --> 0:56:27.840
<v Speaker 1>know if I you'd have to get me there first.

0:56:27.880 --> 0:56:30.719
<v Speaker 1>You never know how you're gonna you never know how

0:56:31.600 --> 0:56:36.760
<v Speaker 1>you're gonna react in any situation. Really, you can hypothesize,

0:56:37.000 --> 0:56:40.480
<v Speaker 1>but you never really know until you're there. I would

0:56:40.719 --> 0:56:44.000
<v Speaker 1>stand like if I I would observe an orgy, for sure,

0:56:44.080 --> 0:56:48.880
<v Speaker 1>I would observe one and be like, that's an orgy.

0:56:48.920 --> 0:56:50.799
<v Speaker 1>But I don't. I don't know if I would take

0:56:50.840 --> 0:56:52.400
<v Speaker 1>place in one. Just yet, I don't. I know. I

0:56:52.440 --> 0:56:56.400
<v Speaker 1>genuinely don't know. I wouldn't know if I'm there, but

0:56:56.600 --> 0:56:58.400
<v Speaker 1>so I don't. I don't know if I would, how

0:56:58.440 --> 0:57:00.799
<v Speaker 1>I would stumble upon one. I don't think I would

0:57:00.840 --> 0:57:04.840
<v Speaker 1>go actively seek one ounce, but I don't know. I

0:57:04.880 --> 0:57:08.239
<v Speaker 1>travel a lot, I go around places. The chances of

0:57:08.239 --> 0:57:11.680
<v Speaker 1>me stumbling upon one is not out of the question.

0:57:12.520 --> 0:57:17.240
<v Speaker 1>So who knows. Maybe one day I'll find out. But

0:57:17.280 --> 0:57:20.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm not wearing the suit. Maybe i'll wear the suit.

0:57:20.520 --> 0:57:24.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. All questions that maybe or maybe not

0:57:24.720 --> 0:57:28.720
<v Speaker 1>one day be answered goes on the line, making your

0:57:28.800 --> 0:57:29.440
<v Speaker 1>phone calls.

0:57:29.520 --> 0:57:30.520
<v Speaker 2>Every night, the.

0:57:30.800 --> 0:57:33.640
<v Speaker 1>Beacon goes to his hide. He's teaching you cloud in

0:57:33.720 --> 0:57:37.160
<v Speaker 1>the men of your life. Money's not ready an expert