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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie and this is Keyon, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime host and we've got great stories coming right up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show alive. My father

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Speaker 2: reconciled with my estrange mother, and I was not happy

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Speaker 2: about it that mom.

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Speaker 1: Is supposed to be gone.

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Speaker 2: I twenty female, was raised by my father forty nine male,

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Speaker 2: alongside my older brothers, Lyle and Kyle, both twenty three male.

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Speaker 2: They're twins. Mom left us shortly after I was born,

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Speaker 2: so I've never really had a maternal figure growing up.

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Speaker 2: I've tried to ask my dad why I'm on left,

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Speaker 2: but he would always try to dodge the question. By

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Speaker 2: the way, this comes from girl at the Gym sixty

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Speaker 2: seven and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay Storytime subreddit. I am Savannah,

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Speaker 2: I am Dakota, and we are here to give some

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Speaker 2: good advice goofy, but we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 2: We would only tell you what we would do in

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Speaker 2: this situation, but we would love to know what you

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Speaker 2: would do in the comments. As Opie says, anyways, this

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Speaker 2: kind of messed me up a little bit as a

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Speaker 2: kid because I would always blame myself for her leaving.

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Speaker 2: And it also didn't help that my older brothers would

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Speaker 2: always use the old trustee You're why Mom left card

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Speaker 2: in arguments. During my middle school years, my mom began

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Speaker 2: to call me and my brothers. She swore up and

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Speaker 2: down for years that she wanted me back in her life,

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Speaker 2: but didn't make any effort to get to know me.

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Speaker 2: So that woman broke a lot of promises with me

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Speaker 2: and my brothers. The last straw for me was when

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Speaker 2: she didn't come to a beauty pageant I'd been excited

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Speaker 2: for for months. I know that sounds really petty, but

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Speaker 2: at the time it was really important to me, and

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Speaker 2: she swore up and down that she would come. Of course,

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Speaker 2: she broke that promise too, so when Mom called to

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Speaker 2: apologize for not coming, I let that woman have it.

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Speaker 2: I think the call almost lasted an hour and a

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Speaker 2: half and it was mostly just me cussing her out. Obviously,

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Speaker 2: ever since that phone call, I've been no contact with her.

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Speaker 2: But a few days ago, my dad texted me if

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Speaker 2: I wanted to have dinner with him and the boys,

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Speaker 2: saying that he was going to make my favorite meal.

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Speaker 2: Of course I agreed. I walk in the house and

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Speaker 2: I hear my dad and my brother's talking. Nothing unusual,

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Speaker 2: of course, But then I hear a woman laugh. So

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Speaker 2: I walked to the kitchen and saw my dad, Lyle,

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Speaker 2: and Kyle laughing and talking with my mother. At this point,

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Speaker 2: I'm pissed and confused, and I think I thought out

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Speaker 2: loud because I said, what the F is she doing here?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I mean, fair enough, you got ambushed. He should

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Speaker 1: have like it been like, by the way, your mom

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Speaker 1: is gonna be here? Yeah, bad move. Dad just keeps

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Speaker 1: making bad moves.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Everyone immediately becomes silent until Dad starts talking. Basically,

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Speaker 2: he says that I need to watch my tone and

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Speaker 2: that all they want to do is talk to me

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Speaker 2: about their future, and I'm like, what are you talking about?

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Speaker 2: Then my mother had the great idea to drop the

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Speaker 2: bombshell that her and dad got back together and had

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Speaker 2: been dating for months. I think you can understand how

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Speaker 2: gooped I was.

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Speaker 1: I'm gooped out from this man.

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Speaker 2: Gooped, What a great word, gooped.

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Speaker 1: I got gooped.

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Speaker 2: I think you can understand how gooped I was from

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Speaker 2: this information. But then Lyle tells me that basically everyone

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Speaker 2: in the immediate family knew about the relationship besides me

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Speaker 2: because they were worried how I would react. That is

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Speaker 2: like always the case. Well, we were just worried how

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Speaker 2: you react, so we like just.

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Speaker 1: Didn't tell you. Yeah, we just hid it from you

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Speaker 1: so that you wouldn't have any time to process in

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Speaker 1: your own way and be okay with it. Yeah, said

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Speaker 1: we did it in a way to make sure your

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Speaker 1: reaction would probably be negative.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just like people were like, well, we'll just

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Speaker 2: hide it and then like maybe if it's like really important,

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Speaker 2: we'll bring it up. It's like h no, no, no, gooped.

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Speaker 2: So I'm still standing there shaking with rage. So when

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Speaker 2: my dad tried to grab my arm to sit me

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Speaker 2: down so we could talk, I snatched back and basically

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Speaker 2: stormed out of the house. Now I've been bombarded from

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Speaker 2: text from my dad and Lyle saying I was immature

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Speaker 2: and made mom cry. My friends are fifty fifty on it.

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Speaker 2: So Reddit, am I the A hole? And the verdict

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Speaker 2: here is not the A hole? And there are some

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Speaker 2: comments many hobbies. Gal says not the a hole for

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Speaker 2: how you feel they blindsided you and then blamed you

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Speaker 2: for your reaction. If you choose to have nothing to

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Speaker 2: do with your mother, you shouldn't have to realize. Your

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Speaker 2: father is an adult free to be involved with whomever

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Speaker 2: he chooses. That is true, Opie says, I know he's

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Speaker 2: a grown man, but I just don't understand what he

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Speaker 2: sees in her. He literally left him with three kids

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Speaker 2: to raise all by himself, but now that they're all

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Speaker 2: grown up, she wants to come back. This whole situation

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Speaker 2: just has me in a tizzy, to be.

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Speaker 1: Honest, a goop filled tizzy, the worst kind.

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Speaker 2: I'm confused at sixty three says it would have been

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Speaker 2: better for your dad to talk to you alone. The

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Speaker 2: fact that they all kept this from you was inconsiderate

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Speaker 2: of you. I am sorry. I've been there in the

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Speaker 2: sense of being left out or always the last to know.

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Speaker 2: Be strong. Ope, he responds, thank you. I just feel

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Speaker 2: so upse and confused with them right now because they

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Speaker 2: never kept anything like this for me. Usually my dad

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Speaker 2: will address matters with all of us. K fi Pill says,

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Speaker 2: info was your mother in prison. I'm wondering if she was,

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Speaker 2: and your dad has been in touch with her, visiting

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Speaker 2: even all this time, Opie says, Honestly, I'm not sure

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Speaker 2: if she was. My dad always said that mom lived

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Speaker 2: over the next date or something. That's all the information

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Speaker 2: he would give me or my sip and there is

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Speaker 2: an update. It was just get into it. So before

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Speaker 2: I get into anything, I just wanted to thank everyone

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Speaker 2: for the kind words and reassurance. I honestly was not

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Speaker 2: expecting it at all. I also want to apologize for

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Speaker 2: the late response to everything. I've been so busy with

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Speaker 2: work and other things that I had just not had

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Speaker 2: the time to sit down and respond properly. Anyways, with

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Speaker 2: your guys' advice, I texted my dad and told him

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Speaker 2: that I wanted answers about what the heck was going on.

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Speaker 2: He agreed, but said he wanted to have the dinner

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Speaker 2: over at his place. I had to tell him that

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Speaker 2: he lost that trust when he tried to back me

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Speaker 2: in a corner.

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Speaker 1: In true Yeah, it's like, we have dinner at your place.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to deal with this again. Yeah, Am

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Speaker 1: I gonna trust you exactly?

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Speaker 2: I'd be like no, actually no. He ended up coming

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Speaker 2: over to my apartment instead. Good. I had my friend

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Speaker 2: Mail twenty four staying in my sewing room for protection,

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Speaker 2: just in case. As soon as Dad came in, he

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Speaker 2: started sobbing and begging for forgiven at all. He went

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Speaker 2: on about how he just wanted us to be the

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Speaker 2: family that we were twenty years ago, family I don't

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Speaker 2: even remember. Yeah, that's true. She doesn't have that vision yet.

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Speaker 1: You need to explain what happened and why this is happening.

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Speaker 2: Ye, yes, yeah, you can't just keep her in the

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Speaker 2: dark and just be like you just need to forget

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Speaker 2: about all that and just like, you know, I just

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Speaker 2: want to be the family we were, but I don't

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Speaker 2: have that. I don't know what that was.

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Speaker 1: You don't say anything, you can build it or you

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Speaker 1: get dry.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and just to be clear, these were definitely not

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Speaker 2: crocodile tears. I hugged in to calm him down, but

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Speaker 2: I had to put my foot down and tell him

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Speaker 2: that I wanted answers, not tears.

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Speaker 1: Good.

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Speaker 2: He eventually calned himself down a little and explained everything

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Speaker 2: I asked him about. My mom was very young when

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Speaker 2: she got together with my dad, and there was a

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Speaker 2: significant age gap. They started dating right after her high

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Speaker 2: school graduation. My mother also had a history of substance use,

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Speaker 2: which was something I had already suspected. I was an

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Speaker 2: unplanned pregnancy, and my parents decided to put my mother

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Speaker 2: in rehab during her pregnancy. She was miserable the entire time,

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Speaker 2: and after I was born, she ran away to Florida. Recently,

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Speaker 2: my mom got clean, got a job, and wanted to

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Speaker 2: apologize to my dad. They rekindled their relationship and decided

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Speaker 2: it would be best to let the twins know first

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Speaker 2: before telling me. It was nice to finally have this information,

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Speaker 2: and I thanked him for being honest with me, but

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Speaker 2: I asked him why she did not apologize to the

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Speaker 2: kids whose hearts she broke constantly. Of course, he immediately

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Speaker 2: started back pedaling, saying that I just needed to give

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Speaker 2: her a chance to prove herself.

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Speaker 1: No wait, now, hold on, now, her apologizing would be

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Speaker 1: a great way to start proving herself.

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Speaker 2: For sure.

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Speaker 1: If she can't, if she can't see that she abandoned

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Speaker 1: her children, then she has not made enough growth.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I agree, it seems like she's coming back for

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Speaker 2: you know, the dad, which okay, But also, you left

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Speaker 2: three kids, so what are you gonna do about them?

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Speaker 1: Just not have a relationship or plus putting yourself back

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Speaker 1: in the exact same context and situation in which you

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Speaker 1: did have substance use problems and you did run away,

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Speaker 1: and you like, I don't know, I feel like it

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Speaker 1: could if you're just recently like clean, it could retrigger

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Speaker 1: a lot of those behaviors.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like it could definitely, like anything like you know,

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Speaker 2: you have a bad day, you have a bad fight,

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Speaker 2: and then it's like, oh, well, you know, I'm.

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Speaker 1: Running back to Florida.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going back. Uh, especially since the twins already

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Speaker 2: had on top of that, it was a really crappy

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Speaker 2: move not to even mention to me that Mom was

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Speaker 2: back in the picture. I had to explain to him

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Speaker 2: that I have already given her another chance way too

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Speaker 2: many times, and that she destroyed that bridge beyond repair.

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Speaker 2: I did tell him that I was not going to

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Speaker 2: cut him or the twins off over this, but that

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Speaker 2: Mom was just going to be a new woman to me.

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Speaker 2: I also told him that we needed to go to

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Speaker 2: therapy without her before continuing any further. Dad was clearly

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Speaker 2: upset when I laid all of this out for him,

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Speaker 2: but he did agree to therapy and said he would

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Speaker 2: tell Lyle and Kyle about it. He did tell the twins.

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Speaker 2: Kyle was understanding, but Lyle was furious. He tried calling

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Speaker 2: me multiple times, and when I would not pick up,

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Speaker 2: he started texting me horrible things. It basically boiled down

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Speaker 2: to him calling me a spoiled brat who needs to

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Speaker 2: get over the past. I gave him a piece of

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Speaker 2: my mind before blocking him, and we have been no

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Speaker 2: contact since. We also had our first therapy session. It

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Speaker 2: was not groundbreaking or anything, mostly just an introduction and

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Speaker 2: talking about what we want to work on. When I

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Speaker 2: was alone with the therapist, I showed her my post

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Speaker 2: to give her more context because I can be pretty

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Speaker 2: scattered at times.

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Speaker 1: He said.

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Speaker 2: She definitely wants to go deeper into my feelings about

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Speaker 2: my mother and eventually include my father and brothers if possible.

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Speaker 2: I will try to give more updates if I can.

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Speaker 2: There is a relevant comment. Way to Goop, Way to Goop,

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Speaker 2: Wait a goop, Uh commented, I hope the therapy helps.

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Speaker 2: This sounds like the most positive outcome anyone could have

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Speaker 2: hoped for, to be honest, especially Mom. You're definitely owed

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Speaker 2: a huge apology from her multiple It strikes me to

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Speaker 2: not be so hard on your dad. He has clearly

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Speaker 2: loved her this whole time, and Lyle probably saw how

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Speaker 2: hurt and damaged he was after she left, so was

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Speaker 2: happy for him. You are one family, but all experienced

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Speaker 2: and saw different things in this situation. I'm sorry your

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Speaker 2: dad couldn't articulate that she didn't leave because of you,

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Speaker 2: though so confusing for a young child in such an

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Speaker 2: easy fix with the right words, Op responds, thank you.

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Speaker 2: It's also been helpful during this situation. To see Dad's

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Speaker 2: side of things makes me put things into perspective. But

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Speaker 2: at the moment, I just can't bring myself to have

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Speaker 2: anything to do with my mother. And it also didn't

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Speaker 2: help that Lyle went a prap on me as well.

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Speaker 2: I'm just hoping everything falls into place in the future

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Speaker 2: Next World or forty six fifty three question, Uh, did

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Speaker 2: Kyle ever apologize for what he said to you? Lyle

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Speaker 2: is a lost cause, but I think there's hope for Kyle.

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Speaker 2: Your dad, mom, and brothers need to understand that forgiveness

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Speaker 2: is on your time, not theirs. Just because they've forgiven

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Speaker 2: her doesn't mean you immediately have to. I'm glad that

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Speaker 2: your dad and Kyle are willing to get to therapy.

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Speaker 2: Don't let anyone pressure you to forgive your mother. Also,

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Speaker 2: if you haven't let your down, know what Lyle said,

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Speaker 2: because that is not okay. Ope responds, Kyle has apologized

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Speaker 2: to me. We've always been closer to each other.

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Speaker 3: Uh.

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Speaker 2: And there is a second update.

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Speaker 1: I do think, you know, part of me agrees. I

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Speaker 1: agree with part of that comment, but like you know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: forgiveness is on your own time, and no one can

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Speaker 1: make you forgive anybody. But it's also like forgiveness is

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Speaker 1: like forgiveness isn't something that you should hold over as

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Speaker 1: like a leverage on someone else, because what forgiveness does?

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Speaker 1: It freeze you from yeah, you know whatever, negativity and

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Speaker 1: like you know, you know, bad feelings that you have

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Speaker 1: once you actually forgive somebody who did do something wrong

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Speaker 1: and like you know, it was bad, but like it

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Speaker 1: frees you from having to hold on to that like ah,

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Speaker 1: I hate them and it's like, ah, they were the worst.

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Speaker 1: It's like if you can truly let go of it,

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Speaker 1: it does more for you than anyone else.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's my mom always says that.

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Speaker 1: Uh.

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Speaker 2: But there is a second update more than a week later,

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Speaker 2: so I decided to upload this onto my profile since

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Speaker 2: a lot of people want to know how I'm doing,

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Speaker 2: and it's not that big for an am I the

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Speaker 2: a whole post. Firstly, I'm doing pretty well.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: My time has been completely taken over at the salon

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Speaker 2: that I work at. Christmas is just around the corner,

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Speaker 2: and I have stuff and materials that I need to

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Speaker 2: get lol. But don't worry. I've been making time for

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Speaker 2: therapy with Kyle and Dad. You've been going once a

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Speaker 2: week and I think it's been helping a lot. The

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Speaker 2: therapist has been helping me walk through my feelings about Mom.

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Speaker 2: She's also been helping my dad and Kyle as well.

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Speaker 1: Yay, therapy helping helping therapy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we should just get into it. Kyle

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Speaker 2: has since apologized to me about everything. Basically, He's even

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Speaker 2: opened up to his feelings and opinions about Mom. Also,

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Speaker 2: though we're in a similar bow when it comes to that,

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Speaker 2: Kyle more anxious and scared about Mom leaving again than

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Speaker 2: mad like me. I'm still fifty to fifty on my dad.

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Speaker 2: He has apologized for ganging up on me, but hasn't

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Speaker 2: sat down to talk with Mom and Lyle. Kyle literally

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Speaker 2: had to be the one to yell at Lyle for

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Speaker 2: basically going full psycho on me. Speaking of Lyle, he's

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Speaker 2: still mad at me and still is en joining us

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Speaker 2: for therapy. Apparently from what Kyle said, he's now mad

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Speaker 2: at me turning the family against him and Mom.

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Speaker 1: I've been no.

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Speaker 2: Contact with him and have blocked him on everything, while

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Speaker 2: Kyle has low contacts than seeing how he's been treating me.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it sounds like Lyle's just like scared that

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Speaker 1: you not accepting your mind is going to make her

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Speaker 1: leave again, which again is not your fault. That would

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Speaker 1: be on your mom for not being able to deal

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Speaker 1: with the daughter she abandoned having hard feelings about her abandonment.

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Speaker 2: I think everyone wants to deal with this in their

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Speaker 2: own way, and obviously that's very understandable. But I think

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Speaker 2: that your dad and Kyle are very much open to

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Speaker 2: how it makes you feel, because you're the one with

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Speaker 2: the big issue here, so they're like, whatever is going

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Speaker 2: to make this work, We are in it together, you know,

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Speaker 2: as a family, we want to make this work. And

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Speaker 2: I think Lyle has not seen it from your perspective,

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Speaker 2: and now is you know, since there's no contact, you

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Speaker 2: can't obviously have a conversation. I feel like things are

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Speaker 2: getting mixed up. You know.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's probably just scared, you know. And like you said,

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Speaker 1: it's like they always used to always be like you're

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Speaker 1: the reason, mom, Lef. Yeah, and it's like, clearly you weren't.

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Speaker 1: Clearly it was because she had substance use problems and

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Speaker 1: like didn't want to deal with the responsibility of being

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Speaker 1: a mom to three children and ran away to go,

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Speaker 1: you know, be free of all that. And it sounds

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Speaker 1: like lyle truly does think that's either your fault or

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Speaker 1: that it's gonna make You're gonna make it happen again.

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Speaker 1: He's just scared. He's a scared little baby bird, and

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Speaker 1: he doesn't know how to deal with it. And he's

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Speaker 1: afraid if he goes to therapy and says it out loud,

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Speaker 1: that he's gonna be a scared little baby boy for

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Speaker 1: the rest of his life. But that's not true. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

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Speaker 1: on to the next one. My brother begged to not

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Speaker 1: sing him Happy Birthday, but my family didn't listen.

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Speaker 2: Well, then no birthday for you.

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Speaker 1: My family is close with a couple from church who

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Speaker 1: we referred to as our godparents growing up, starting from

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Speaker 1: my preteen years. They are now in their late sixties

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Speaker 1: and over the years they have also counseled my parents

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Speaker 1: on many things like finances, big purchases, and biblical guidance.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user the exciting one,

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Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 1: to the r slash Okay storytime subbured it. I'm Dakota

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Speaker 1: and I'm Savannah, and we are here to give good advice.

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Speaker 1: Goofle here or whatever you know. But we don't know everything.

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Speaker 1: We only know some things, So let us know what

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Speaker 1: you would do in the comments, because you might know

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Speaker 1: things we don't know. OPI says. They're church leaders as well,

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Speaker 1: and they have celebrated almost all of our milestones with us,

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Speaker 1: to the point that they're basically family. However, they struggle

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Speaker 1: with boundaries, and I have lost respect for my parents

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Speaker 1: for continuing to give them a pass in this specific area.

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Speaker 1: Related to my post, my brother is autistic and very shy,

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Speaker 1: and he always asks us not to have waiters sing

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Speaker 1: Happy Birthday when we go out to dinner. Our godparents

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Speaker 1: have a prank they like to pull to embarrass people,

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Speaker 1: which involves having the waiters sing Happy Birthday, even when

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Speaker 1: it's not someone's birthday, just to get free cake.

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Speaker 2: I've done that.

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Speaker 1: Aren't you supposed to be Biblical leaders? Free cake? Before

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Speaker 1: I continue, I want to point out that both my

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Speaker 1: parents and godparents are church leaders. Church leaders in our

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Speaker 1: church usually go out to a restaurant after Sunday service

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Speaker 1: to mingle. Further, my godparents pull this prank on a

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Speaker 1: random leader each Sunday, to the point that it became

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Speaker 1: an inside joke in the group, like guessing who it

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Speaker 1: was going to be that day. But when they did

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Speaker 1: it to my brother years ago on the Sunday of

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Speaker 1: his birthday week, he literally cried from the attention of

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Speaker 1: the nearby tables while they sang to him. My dad

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Speaker 1: asked them not to do it to him anymore after that,

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Speaker 1: and they listened for a few years until this weekend.

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Speaker 1: My dad reminded them not to do it this year

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Speaker 1: when we went out to eat with other leaders during

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Speaker 1: the week of my brother's birthday, and they agreed beforehand,

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Speaker 1: but later they changed their mind and did it anyway.

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Speaker 1: When my brother retreated to the bathroom afterward for some time.

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Speaker 1: They said he was overreacting. Oh no, the autistic child

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Speaker 1: is overreacting. Are you an idiot? Are you all the

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Speaker 1: dumbest people on earth?

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Speaker 2: Is the fact that like, why did can't you just

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Speaker 2: respect what he says? Like it's not funny to do

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Speaker 2: it to like someone who literally has, like, you know,

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00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,280
Speaker 2: these issues that like could be triggered at any moment,

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Speaker 2: and they're telling you specifically directions that they want you

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Speaker 2: to follow, and it's like, eh, it's fun for us,

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Speaker 2: Like okay, but it's not about you what.

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Speaker 1: I told my dad that we shouldn't go out with

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Speaker 1: them anymore, but he disagreed because he considers them family,

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Speaker 1: even though this is the second time it has happened

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Speaker 1: and we rarely celebrate anything without them. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what to say at this point, especially since they won't

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Speaker 1: let my brothers stay home after he asked on Saturday

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Speaker 1: about future restaurant trips with them. What should we do?

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Speaker 4: Uh?

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Speaker 1: And there's an update, I guess, just like I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if the solution is just like never

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Speaker 1: go out to eat with them again, but I think

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Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, your dad should be having a serious

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Speaker 1: conversation with him and be like, why did you do that? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just like and it's like, yeah, he's overreacting, but

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Speaker 1: like that's from your perspective because he's autistic, So to him,

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Speaker 1: he's not overreacting at all. That is how he would

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Speaker 1: react to the situation exactly.

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Speaker 2: And like, also, this has happened before in the past,

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00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,040
Speaker 2: and you know what happened last time, so like why

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Speaker 2: would you be like, oh, well.

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Speaker 1: You know, to give him credit, it was years ago.

404
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:24,360
Speaker 1: So maybe in their uninformed, clearly uneducated heads, they're like, oh, well,

405
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Speaker 1: maybe he's gotten more mature. It's like no, I mean

406
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Speaker 1: he could, but guess what, he still got autism and

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Speaker 1: he still doesn't want all the eyes on him. He

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Speaker 1: doesn't want people taking him happy birthday, crowded public place.

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Speaker 1: It's just not what he wants.

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Speaker 2: It's like just such an easy request, just to be like, yeah, no,

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Speaker 2: let's not do that. I know that you guys think

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Speaker 2: it's funny and stuff, but like, you know, I don't

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Speaker 2: want to set him on his birthday and he's asked

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Speaker 2: us not to, so let's just not yeah, you know.

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Speaker 1: And it's for you. For you guys, it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: it's like, oh haha, I'm embarrassed and they're saying it's

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Speaker 1: my birthday okay, and then it's the moment passes and

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Speaker 1: it's done. But for him, it's probably going to affect

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Speaker 1: him for a long time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he just doesn't like it. And that's not like

421
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 2: it's not like it's unreasonable. He just doesn't like it.

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00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,600
Speaker 2: Who cares? Just don't do it and it's his day,

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00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,680
Speaker 2: Like people are stupid.

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Speaker 1: Update. It's been some time since my first post, and

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Speaker 1: I have since reflected on something that caused many misunderstandings

426
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:22,200
Speaker 1: in our family for years. This came from a therapist

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00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:25,400
Speaker 1: at my college, with the restaurant incident being the latest

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00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,919
Speaker 1: in a long string of misunderstandings. I didn't go to

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Speaker 1: the therapist for myself, but rather because of my brother

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Speaker 1: and the condition that we could never fully name.

431
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Speaker 2: HM.

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Speaker 1: My parents knew he had some form of autism growing up,

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Speaker 1: but they weren't sure what this other issue was. I

434
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,680
Speaker 1: will describe it as I did to my therapist, who

435
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 1: was able to provide a lot of clarity. This condition

436
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:50,240
Speaker 1: also played a role in why my brother did not

437
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,840
Speaker 1: like being sung Happy Birthday at restaurants, along with many

438
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 1: similar instances in the past. My therapist believes my brother

439
00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:02,639
Speaker 1: has a condition called sound sensitivity autism, also known as hyperacusis.

440
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 1: It makes everyday sounds feel uncomfortably loud and sometimes painful.

441
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:13,000
Speaker 1: It can cause anxiety from anticipating unpredictable loud sounds, and

442
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:16,960
Speaker 1: sometimes depression or social isolation. My therapist came to this

443
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 1: conclusion after hearing many things I told her about my brother,

444
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 1: some dating back many years. We once went to a

445
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,960
Speaker 1: football game and he hid in the concession area with

446
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,439
Speaker 1: his headphones blasting because the inside seating was too loud.

447
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 1: He has also hidden in the bathroom at church when

448
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:35,600
Speaker 1: certain services became too loud or raucous. He does not

449
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 1: like concerts and visibly shakes whenever a crowd gets loud.

450
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:42,399
Speaker 1: At home, my brother often wears headphones because the TV,

451
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 1: especially live audience events, can trigger sensory overload. There are

452
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 1: many more examples. My parents have trouble understanding him and

453
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 1: have blamed him for not wanting to do family activities

454
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:55,840
Speaker 1: when he actually does want to participate, just not in

455
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:59,119
Speaker 1: ways that trigger him. Our family loves sports, and he

456
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 1: does too. He watches games with headphones playing music, but

457
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 1: he does not watch with friends because he's afraid of

458
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 1: being perceived as weird. Some of the worst times were

459
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 1: when he was forced to do activities he didn't want

460
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:14,800
Speaker 1: to do. He once had anxiety before a piano recital,

461
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 1: not because he was nervous about playing, but because of

462
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 1: the applause that would happen throughout the event. He enjoys

463
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 1: playing piano, but not performing. He explained it as constantly

464
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,960
Speaker 1: living on edge because you never know when a loud

465
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 1: sound will suddenly happen. There was something my therapist told

466
00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 1: me during a later visit that gave me hope. She

467
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 1: shared an article from last year about an NBA player

468
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 1: named Joe Ingles. His son had a similar condition, but

469
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 1: he was younger, like eight years old, unlike my brother

470
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:44,600
Speaker 1: who is now eleven. Like my brother, he avoided loud

471
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:48,200
Speaker 1: environments and did not attend his father's games. Last year,

472
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 1: though his son had a breakthrough thanks to medical professionals,

473
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,359
Speaker 1: his mother made plans for him to attend his father's

474
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,200
Speaker 1: game for the first time. Joe Ingles was no longer

475
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,119
Speaker 1: a starter at that point in his career, but the

476
00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:00,960
Speaker 1: Timberwolves coach told the team he would Joe in the lineup.

477
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,719
Speaker 1: For the game his son attended. The story was widely

478
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 1: covered by the media. I brought this story, along with

479
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:08,439
Speaker 1: the Cleveland Clinic page to my parents to try to

480
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 1: explain my brother's condition that we never fully understood. While

481
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 1: they were receptive, they did not believe it was necessary

482
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,159
Speaker 1: to take him to a doctor or therapist. What is

483
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,080
Speaker 1: wrong with your parents?

484
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,719
Speaker 2: It could also be maybe a religious thing, like they

485
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:24,160
Speaker 2: don't believe in that or something which, you.

486
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:28,480
Speaker 1: Know, whatever, Like, dude, your kids got like specialized needs,

487
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,120
Speaker 1: Like take him to people who can help him.

488
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:32,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, make him feel comfortable. Why do you want to

489
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,320
Speaker 2: like just let him suffer? Like obviously there's an issue here,

490
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:40,199
Speaker 2: and like he has found out that you know it

491
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 2: that these noises or whatever will trigger something in him

492
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:46,959
Speaker 2: and he has to run away. Like why you know,

493
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,199
Speaker 2: if there's something that could help him, why would you

494
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 2: not be open to that.

495
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,919
Speaker 1: My parents believe they can do exposure tests on their

496
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,879
Speaker 1: own that will lead to a similar breakthrough. I strongly disagree.

497
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 1: Joe's son made progress with professional guidance, not through parents

498
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 1: trying to hand a it alone. But no matter how

499
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 1: hard I pushed, they refused to take him to a

500
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 1: professional and instead chose to reach out for support and

501
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 1: prayer from church. There it is, that's what's doing it.

502
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,160
Speaker 1: We can pray the problems away.

503
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 2: Yay.

504
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:17,879
Speaker 4: Yes.

505
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 1: I cannot express how upsetting that was to me. I

506
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:25,960
Speaker 1: also can't take him myself because I'm not his parent.

507
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:29,200
Speaker 1: I hate how they believe they can replicate the breakthrough

508
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 1: that Joe's son had without medical or therapeutic help. My

509
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 1: therapist agreed that it was unfortunate because addressing it early

510
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 1: is usually better. Regarding the restaurant incident, my brother had

511
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 1: a sensory overload when the waiters sang and other tables

512
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,359
Speaker 1: stared at us. This was the second time our godparents

513
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:47,400
Speaker 1: have done this to him. He was eight the first

514
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,920
Speaker 1: time and he cried when they sang. We did not

515
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:53,680
Speaker 1: know what hyperacusis was at the time, but my parents

516
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 1: told our god parents not to do it again in

517
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 1: later years around his birthday. They listened until he turned

518
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,639
Speaker 1: a let this year. My parents reminded them again this

519
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 1: year and they agreed before breaking their promise. And there's

520
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 1: a little bit more story here. I tried explaining the

521
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 1: unofficial diagnosis from my therapist to my godparents to help

522
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:16,400
Speaker 1: them understand, and they reacted even worse than my parents

523
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,159
Speaker 1: and said he needs to stop acting like a girl.

524
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 2: That's crazy.

525
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:26,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, regarding their fake birthday prank that leaders expect every

526
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,479
Speaker 1: Sunday after church, I told my parents it was wrong

527
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 1: because it's essentially stealing by taking advantage of free cake

528
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 1: when it's not someone's birthday. My dad said it was

529
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:38,639
Speaker 1: justified because the total bill is often over one hundred

530
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 1: dollars and the cake probably costs around three bugs. I

531
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,679
Speaker 1: pointed out that the Bible says all sin is equal

532
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 1: regardless of size, and he did not like that. As

533
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 1: for my brother, they are still not budging on seeking

534
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 1: professional help. I hate how religion and arrogance are being

535
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 1: used to place themselves above doctors and medical professionals. And

536
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 1: there's some comments here come out. No one op should

537
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 1: remind her dad that there's no such thing as a

538
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,400
Speaker 1: white lie, because I'm certain that has been taught at

539
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: her church. Poor kids. Another reply, so, yeah, there's actually

540
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:13,160
Speaker 1: a researched thing where when people think they've done something good,

541
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 1: they use that to justify being well. A holes I

542
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,399
Speaker 1: went to church is often one of the things that

543
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 1: lets people justify being bad. It's a big part of

544
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:26,879
Speaker 1: why they're notoriously bad tippers. For example, Comment two says,

545
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 1: color me surprised the dad didn't like being called out

546
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 1: at him also sinning, and that all sin is equal nothing.

547
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 1: A performative Christian hates more than being called out with

548
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:41,000
Speaker 1: the truth of the Bible they're not reading, someone else replies,

549
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 1: probably feels emboldened to go along with it. In the

550
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 1: group of church leaders who seemingly expect the prank on tradition,

551
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:51,440
Speaker 1: every Sunday they go out to eat following service. Come

552
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 1: at three, perhaps it's time to stand up and loudly

553
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 1: announce it's not their birthday. This is a tradition that

554
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 1: the church leaders have in order to steal free k

555
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,080
Speaker 1: from restaurants. I have pointed out to them that this

556
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 1: is not Christian behavior and that one of the Ten

557
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 1: Commandments says that shall not steal. But they've told me

558
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: that they couldn't give a crap about Jesus and they're

559
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:13,679
Speaker 1: just in it for the social cloud and free food

560
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 1: and that's the end of that story. And I don't

561
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 1: think you should do that.

562
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think that that's like And also I

563
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,360
Speaker 2: feel like the restaurant probably knows that they've been going

564
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:25,040
Speaker 2: there for years doing this.

565
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that they would rather have the bill

566
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 1: every Sunday for all of them or whatever. But hey,

567
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 1: you know whatever, and that's the end of this story.

568
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:36,880
Speaker 1: We're gonna go on to the next one.

569
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,879
Speaker 2: My sister thought I was sabotaging her marriage because her

570
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:41,679
Speaker 2: fiance is my ex.

571
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 1: Well, that does make you a prime suspect for sabotage.

572
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 2: My sister, twenty six female is dating and soon to

573
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 2: be engaged to my twenty five female ex boyfriend twenty

574
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 2: six male. I know he is planning on proposing, or

575
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 2: at least was because I was helping him. By the way,

576
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 2: this comes from Ambitious Loan thirty six thirty and if

577
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

578
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,160
Speaker 2: arch slash Okay Storytime subrett.

579
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,400
Speaker 1: I'm Savannah, I'm Dakota, and we.

580
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 2: Are here to give you some good advice. Goofully, But

581
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 2: we do not have all the answers. We just know

582
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,399
Speaker 2: what all little brains would do in the situation. But

583
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 2: we want to know what your big brains would do

584
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 2: in the comments.

585
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, big brainers.

586
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 2: When I was back in high school, I dated my

587
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 2: sister's now boyfriend for about six months. It was not

588
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 2: a super serious relationship, but like most teenagers around that age, we.

589
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,119
Speaker 1: Had spicy sleep.

590
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 2: We did it a few times, but nothing obscene. The

591
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 2: relationship ended amicably because we simply did not want to

592
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 2: date anymore. There were no harsh feelings, and we remained

593
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 2: friends throughout high school and college. When my sister was

594
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 2: around twenty three, she moved back to our hometown about

595
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 2: a year after college, and he was living here as well.

596
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 2: They began spending time together and she asked me if

597
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 2: it would bother me if they started dating. I had

598
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:55,160
Speaker 2: absolutely no problem with it and told her there were

599
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 2: no weird feelings at all. I did not even consider

600
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 2: him a serious relationship since it was nearly ten years ago.

601
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 2: They have now been dating for the past three years,

602
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 2: and he plans to propose, even asked for my help

603
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 2: now for the actual conflict. About a week ago, my sister,

604
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 2: her boyfriend, a few mutual friends, and I went out

605
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 2: to dinner. During one of the conversations, my sister joked

606
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 2: that he better propose soon because she was starting to

607
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 2: feel like an old maid her words. I asked her

608
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 2: what she meant, and she said that they were both

609
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:23,920
Speaker 2: saving themselves for marriage.

610
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 1: Uh oh.

611
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 2: I asked if she meant just in this relationship or

612
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 2: if she was saving herself entirely. He said they had

613
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 2: both been saving themselves their whole lives.

614
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 1: Uh oh uh oh uhh uhh uh oh.

615
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,760
Speaker 2: I gave her boyfriend a strange look from across the table,

616
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 2: and she caught it. He asked why I looked at

617
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 2: him weird?

618
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 1: Oh good it, ah girl, Come on now, you gotta

619
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 1: keep just keep the closer to the best.

620
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 2: She asked why I looked at him weird and I

621
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 2: said it was nothing and tried to move past it.

622
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 2: She insisted that I tell her why, because she thought

623
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 2: I was judging them. I confess that we had spicy

624
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 2: sleep in high school all day. It did not really

625
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 2: mean anything. Got mad at him first for Lyne, and

626
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,160
Speaker 2: somehow he managed to convince her that it never happened.

627
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 1: Oh no, oh no.

628
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 2: Then she got mad at me for making things up

629
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 2: and direct quote trying to sabotage our future marriage because

630
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 2: you're not over him.

631
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 1: Oh yeah.

632
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 2: This turned from oh no to oh no.

633
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: Now this is where we get like really upset and

634
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 1: we go all right, well, if we're taking it here,

635
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 1: he just doubled down on a lie. I didn't think

636
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 1: this meant anything at all, but he lied you for

637
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,200
Speaker 1: three years and now he's doubling it down. And I'm

638
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 1: not gonna let this guy lying to you impact our

639
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:45,240
Speaker 1: relationship because I don't care. And also.

640
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 2: I feel like like they were together ten years ago.

641
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 2: I feel like he had I mean, like there was

642
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 2: no time in there that he had another girlfriend or

643
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 2: you know, had like things for other people he.

644
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 1: Knows could have been. I'm sure she's just been lying.

645
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I told her I was completely

646
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:10,840
Speaker 2: over him and that I was not lying. Then they

647
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 2: both got up and left. My friends know I was

648
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 2: telling the truth and tried to contact her to back

649
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 2: me up. She did not answer any of them, and

650
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:19,120
Speaker 2: texted me the next day of saying I would not

651
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 2: be invited to the future wedding unless I admitted to lying. Okay,

652
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 2: now she's just being like, just say you are wrong,

653
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:31,440
Speaker 2: but like I'm not though I'm not lying, Like I mean,

654
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that hurts your feelings, but like I don't

655
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 2: want to lie to my sister, Like I don't know, just.

656
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 1: Be like dude. I tried to let it go and

657
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 1: then you demanded me explain myself, and now you don't

658
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 1: believe me, Like, yeah, yeah, you can marry this guy.

659
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 1: I'm telling the truth.

660
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 2: Yeah. I do feel really bad and wish I had

661
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 2: not said anything or had lied about why I looked

662
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 2: at him. I felt like I owed it to her

663
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 2: because she is my sister, and because he was lying.

664
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 2: Should I have handled it differently or not told her

665
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:02,560
Speaker 2: at all? Am I the a hole? There are some

666
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 2: comments comm at one says I would be willing to

667
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 2: bet that the issue of whether he had spicy sleep

668
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 2: with you specifically was brought up early on and it

669
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 2: bothered her, so he decided to lie about it because

670
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 2: that would have seemed easier to him than dealing with

671
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 2: the whole issue. You are not responsible for facilitating his lies,

672
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 2: and you are not the a hole for being honest

673
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 2: with her, But I doubt their relationship survives.

674
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 3: Uh.

675
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 2: There's a reply probably when something like this, Beyonce, Uh,

676
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 2: I have to confess something. I kind of dated your

677
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 2: sister when we were in high school. Sister, what, I

678
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 2: can't believe this. I'm not taking her sloppy seconds. We're

679
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 2: through Beyonce.

680
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 1: No, No, it is not like that.

681
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 2: We were never serious. Nothing happened between us, sister. You

682
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 2: didn't have spicy sleep at all, Beyonce. Nah, we were young.

683
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 2: It was barely relationship. We just held hands, kissed a

684
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 2: few times, nothing more. Comment too, not the a whole.

685
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 2: Sister's in denial and it's sad. Hopefully so she doesn't

686
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 2: walk blindly into this, because if he's lied about this,

687
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 2: he has absolutely lied about other things, and he won't

688
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 2: hesitate to lie in the future.

689
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the biggest thing, dude. It's like just gently

690
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 1: trying to make your sister understand, like, I'm not lying.

691
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 1: He's been lying to you ever since he told you

692
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 1: that he's been saving himself for marriage. He's been lying.

693
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 1: And if he's able to lie to you for three years,

694
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 1: he can lie to you about other stuff. He immediately

695
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 1: pivoted at the table to make me the liar, to

696
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 1: save y'all's relationship, because lying to someone for three years

697
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 1: about something that clearly means a lot to you, sister, Yeah,

698
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 1: I don't know if you should really get married to

699
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 1: this guy. And that's not me trying to sabotage your marriage.

700
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:47,640
Speaker 1: That was him being a duplicitous liar, and thus puts

701
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 1: your marriage in jeopardy because of his behavior. Yeah, and

702
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 1: it's not me. You can marry him. I bless again.

703
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 1: Don't really care about you marrying him.

704
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 2: I give you blessing. Comment number three says, definitely not

705
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 2: the a hole. You did nothing wrong. You were honest,

706
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 2: and your ex is a giant a hole for literally

707
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 2: gaslighting you to a member of your own family because

708
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 2: he's a lying coward. Boom get him. I love I

709
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 2: love the word coward. Gim Your sister is also kind

710
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 2: of an a hole for immediately believing that you're lying.

711
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:21,880
Speaker 2: I can't lie. Part of me would want to be

712
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 2: petty a f and tell her detail about him spicy sleep.

713
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 1: Yeah nah, don't do that.

714
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, and tell her a detail about him in

715
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:37,880
Speaker 2: the bedroom that proves you're telling the truth. Reply No, Honestly,

716
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 2: this isn't a bad idea. I don't know how else

717
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,280
Speaker 2: she could prove it, assuming there is actually a unique

718
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 2: enough detail she could give.

719
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:48,280
Speaker 1: That's again not a good idea at all. To be clear,

720
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:49,920
Speaker 1: it's not like that.

721
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:53,439
Speaker 2: Just is weird to recall that from ten years ago

722
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 2: and be like, oh, yeah, does he still do this?

723
00:34:55,840 --> 00:35:01,319
Speaker 1: Ah No, No, don't do that she.

724
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 2: Doesn't have to do this in a mean way, but

725
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 2: her sister's in denial and someone has to help her

726
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 2: figure this thing out before she marries someone she absolutely

727
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 2: should not be marrying.

728
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:10,320
Speaker 1: There's an update.

729
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 2: I want to start with some context to clear up confusion.

730
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:16,240
Speaker 2: I was seeing my sister, and I grew up somewhat

731
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:19,680
Speaker 2: religious with very old fashioned parents. I did not really

732
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 2: buy into the religious stuff, but my sister did not

733
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:24,440
Speaker 2: as much as my parents, but definitely more than me.

734
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,000
Speaker 2: They always told us to wait until marriage, but I

735
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 2: clearly did not listen. It never occurred to me that

736
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:32,959
Speaker 2: my sister probably did. The reason she never knew about

737
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 2: us sleeping together is because I did not tell her.

738
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 2: I thought she might tell her parents, and I did

739
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 2: not want to deal with them. The reason I did

740
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,480
Speaker 2: not know she was waiting is because she has always

741
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:44,359
Speaker 2: kept that kind of thing to herself and is very

742
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 2: set on her privacy. When I say we were not

743
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 2: in a serious relationship in high school, I mean that

744
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,760
Speaker 2: I do not believe high school relationships are that serious.

745
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,360
Speaker 2: We both knew we were not planning on staying together forever.

746
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 2: We only slept together two maybe three times, which in

747
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 2: my mind, he was not very serious, even for teenagers.

748
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:03,719
Speaker 2: When my sister asked if I would be okay with

749
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 2: them dating, she specifically asked if I would find it

750
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:08,839
Speaker 2: weird or uncomfortable. I told her that as long as

751
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 2: she was not bothered by the fact that we used

752
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 2: to be a couple, I had no reservations. He said

753
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 2: she did not mind at all, which I mistakenly took

754
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,959
Speaker 2: to mean she knew we slept together and did not care.

755
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 2: I had always known him to be pretty truthful and

756
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 2: never thought he would completely lie to her. At dinner,

757
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:26,840
Speaker 2: the three of us were sitting at one end of

758
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 2: the table and arguing very quietly. My friends did not

759
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,280
Speaker 2: know what was happening until they stood up and left,

760
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:36,439
Speaker 2: Otherwise they would have defended me. There. Oh okay, right,

761
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 2: so they they That's why they texted them later on,

762
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:44,879
Speaker 2: was like, Hey, you know, okay, that's the difference. After

763
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:47,959
Speaker 2: I admitted that we slept together, he said something along

764
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 2: the lines of that never happened and that he did

765
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:53,400
Speaker 2: not know why I would lie. I insisted I was

766
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 2: not lying and was not trying to be hurtful. He

767
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 2: said some nonsense about how their talk of marriage made

768
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:01,319
Speaker 2: me jealous and stirred up old feelings. That was when

769
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:04,360
Speaker 2: she turned on me and they left. Now for the update,

770
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,600
Speaker 2: My sister came over this morning and we finally talked

771
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:10,360
Speaker 2: and made amends. She told me that he had proposed

772
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 2: a few days ago, but she had not told anyone

773
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,360
Speaker 2: because what I said had been weighing on her. She

774
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:17,400
Speaker 2: said that last night she went through his phone and

775
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,840
Speaker 2: found out that he had been cheating on her repeatedly

776
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 2: for most of the relationship.

777
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 1: Would you look at that? The big liar, liar pants

778
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:30,120
Speaker 1: and fire has bigger lies to to squirrel away?

779
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 2: That is just crazy? Why would you want to like

780
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,759
Speaker 2: be like? Why would you even want to propose to

781
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 2: someone if you don't want to be with them, you

782
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:40,799
Speaker 2: obviously want to be with other people. Why what goes

783
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 2: through people's minds?

784
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 1: He says? Psycho? Psycho? Yeah.

785
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,880
Speaker 2: She also found out that he slept with people before

786
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,640
Speaker 2: they were together. She confronted him this morning and they

787
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 2: had a huge argument. He admitted that he lied because

788
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 2: he knew it was important to her that they were

789
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 2: both virgins. He said she would not have stayed with

790
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,800
Speaker 2: him if she knew the truth, and that he really

791
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 2: does love her and wants to marry her.

792
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 1: Babe, I do love you, but I knew that if

793
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 1: I told you the truth, you wouldn't want to be

794
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 1: with me. And also, I've cheated on you multiple times

795
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:16,280
Speaker 1: over the last three years. But I promise I really

796
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 1: just love you like what.

797
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 2: She did not believe him and ended the relationship. He

798
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 2: came straight over to apologize and hear my side of

799
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 2: the story.

800
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 1: What a stinky little man. Yeah, this guy sucked, and

801
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 1: I'm glad this stinky little man didn't get between you

802
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:30,640
Speaker 1: and your sister. Yeah.

803
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:32,840
Speaker 2: I mean he's a big Lilah pants on fire and

804
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 2: I hope he catches on fire. I asked her why

805
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:37,919
Speaker 2: she believed him so easily and left the restaurant without

806
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 2: hearing me out. She said she was embarrassed because waiting

807
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,279
Speaker 2: until marriage had always been important to her, and she

808
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,760
Speaker 2: did not want to believe he was not as committed

809
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:48,879
Speaker 2: as she was. I accepted her apology, and we both

810
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 2: agreed to move forward and always trust each other. She

811
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 2: also decided to take some time to reconsider which values

812
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:58,720
Speaker 2: matter most to her. Everything is okay now. Our ex

813
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 2: is basically the problem. That's crazy our egx ah. Please

814
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:06,040
Speaker 2: do not say anything rude about my sister. I love

815
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 2: her deeply, and she just had a weak moment and

816
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 2: that's it. Yeah, yeah, I think that. Ohp you just

817
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 2: I think you handled it correctly. You told the truth,

818
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 2: and you just waited for her to realize her mistake,

819
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 2: and obviously she had doubts about it, and just you know,

820
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,919
Speaker 2: felt embarrassed. I understand feeling embarrassed, you know, in front

821
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 2: of friends and being like, uh no, we're virgins, right,

822
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 2: and then her being like no, So I understand that,

823
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 2: and why you left and why, like it was a

824
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 2: big deal.

825
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: That is not shocked. It's a shock to the system.

826
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm glad that you finally figured out the truth, uh,

827
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 2: because that's horrible and I'm sorry that happened to your sister.

828
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 2: But at least now you know, you know that he's

829
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 2: not good for anyone. You were your sister and he

830
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:02,920
Speaker 2: is now you're X, which is crazy and gross and

831
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:04,799
Speaker 2: I hate that for both of you. But at least

832
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:05,239
Speaker 2: he's gone.

833
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:08,360
Speaker 1: At least he's gone and Sissy's role. And that's the

834
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 1: end of this story. We're gonna go on to the

835
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 1: next one.

836
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here and

837
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 2: we're going to get back to the stories, but here's

838
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 2: a three minute ad break from our sponsors.

839
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:24,320
Speaker 4: My father's fiance took my baby to the mall without

840
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 4: my permission.

841
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:26,280
Speaker 1: Mall Baby.

842
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 4: I live a five minute walk away from a mall,

843
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,959
Speaker 4: and they opened up their Christmas display a few days ago.

844
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 4: My husband and I were planning on taking our son,

845
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:37,240
Speaker 4: who is eight months old, there for his first Santa

846
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 4: visit this past Saturday. By the way, this comes from

847
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 4: Santa Visit Throw And if you want to spit your

848
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 4: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime suppered

849
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,719
Speaker 4: at I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, I'm Carly, and we're here

850
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,640
Speaker 4: to give good advice goofy. But we don't have all

851
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 4: the answers. We really know what we'd do, so let

852
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 4: us know what you would do in the comments. My

853
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 4: dad's fiance is a very self centered person. Most recently,

854
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,960
Speaker 4: she tried to post about my pregnancy on social media

855
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:02,239
Speaker 4: before I did, and confirmed their wedding date, which has

856
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 4: since been changed twice at my sister's birthday party. I'm

857
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 4: not fond of her, but but she's not usually too

858
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:12,319
Speaker 4: hard to tolerate. My immediate paternal family gets together for

859
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:15,439
Speaker 4: a small party every year on Christmas Eve. This time,

860
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:17,919
Speaker 4: my dad and his fiance air hosting. I was going

861
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 4: to attend it with my husband and our son. Last Thursday,

862
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,280
Speaker 4: I had a business meeting while my husband was also

863
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:27,480
Speaker 4: at work. My dad and his fiance came over to babysit.

864
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 4: I spent some time chatting with them before leaving, and

865
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 4: I mentioned our weekend plans, including how we were talking,

866
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:36,399
Speaker 4: including how we were taking our baby.

867
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 2: To see Santa.

868
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:40,880
Speaker 4: When I got home, my dad's fiance showed me pictures

869
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 4: of herself with my baby and.

870
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 2: The mall Santa.

871
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:47,439
Speaker 4: I don't even have pictures of just my son.

872
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 2: She's in all of them. Do you explain?

873
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,239
Speaker 4: My dad had wanted to take a nap, so she

874
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:52,760
Speaker 4: took my son out on a stroll.

875
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,320
Speaker 2: She went to the mall, saw the Christmas.

876
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 4: Display and couldn't resist taking my son there herself. Let

877
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 4: me make this clear, I'm not too much of a

878
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 4: Christmas person, and neither is my husband, but she was

879
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 4: well aware we were looking forward to doing this with

880
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 4: our son. I'm also upset that my dad napped while babysitting,

881
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:14,960
Speaker 4: because we wouldn't have had them watch our baby if

882
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 4: we knew it would ultimately just be her, and I

883
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 4: never gave either of them permission to remove my child

884
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 4: from my place while babysitting. I confronted her and said

885
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:27,440
Speaker 4: we wanted to take him ourselves, but she acted confused

886
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:29,760
Speaker 4: and claimed she didn't realize it was a big deal

887
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,760
Speaker 4: and just wanted to have some fun with the baby.

888
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:34,239
Speaker 4: My dad also dismissed my feelings and said I was

889
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 4: being dramatic. I grabbed my son and told them to leave.

890
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 4: My husband was upset, was as upset as I was.

891
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 4: We decided we wouldn't attend the Christmas party anymore. We'll

892
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:47,280
Speaker 4: figure out something else, but we don't want to spend

893
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:51,720
Speaker 4: our babies first Christmas with her. We made it official

894
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:54,400
Speaker 4: over the weekend. A lot of my family has replied

895
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:56,600
Speaker 4: that they're not coming if I don't, so now my

896
00:42:56,719 --> 00:43:00,120
Speaker 4: dad is begging me to change my mind. There's still

897
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 4: all over a month left before Christmas, and I want

898
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 4: to sort this out as soon as possible. I don't

899
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 4: want to attend, but I also don't want to ruin

900
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 4: the party.

901
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:10,800
Speaker 2: Am I the a hole? And there are some relevant.

902
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 1: Comments m power play right here?

903
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:14,640
Speaker 5: You know what I really want to see, Yeah, a

904
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:17,720
Speaker 5: picture of the dad and is the fiance?

905
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 2: Yeah?

906
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 5: And the ages? Why because I like the dad's like

907
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:23,920
Speaker 5: I don't know, fifty seven and he's dating thirty or

908
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 5: old or what a child?

909
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,320
Speaker 2: That's a good point. Then that's a good point.

910
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:30,760
Speaker 1: But if that was the case, I feel like we've.

911
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 2: Already Yeah, they would have mentioned Yeah, now I think that. Uh.

912
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:36,799
Speaker 2: I think that you do not owe.

913
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 4: Anyone, you know, you don't owe them coming to Christmas

914
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:41,479
Speaker 4: or anything. It's not really your fault if other people

915
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 4: decide that.

916
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 2: They don't want to come.

917
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:46,839
Speaker 5: Yeah, CALLI would you go to this Christmas?

918
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:52,360
Speaker 3: Oh? It would really depend on like the level of apology, Yeah,

919
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 3: and the like agreement of taking my like future considerations

920
00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 3: into their head. Like if they're just like yeah and

921
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:01,960
Speaker 3: I would do it again, like I don't care, then yeah,

922
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:03,240
Speaker 3: we're probably distancing.

923
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:05,919
Speaker 4: Heels, like you know exactly, like they're not taking any

924
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 4: responsibility for her.

925
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, if she like actually felt devastated and didn't know,

926
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 3: maybe like.

927
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 5: The equivalent of this is you can take away her

928
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 5: like you know how live insurance works with the wills,

929
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 5: just like put your name in where her name is

930
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 5: in the will. Yeah, I feel like that's the only

931
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 5: equivalent thing here. Yeah, take all her inheritance.

932
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 1: For your dad at all.

933
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 2: We got a downvoted. You're the a whole comment.

934
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 4: Okay, wow, I'm not nearly as invested in you as

935
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:32,239
Speaker 4: you are in me.

936
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:33,400
Speaker 2: Her response.

937
00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 3: This is her response to the downward comment.

938
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 4: But you're making up a lot of stuff on I

939
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:40,440
Speaker 4: feel the need to clarify. They didn't visit and offered

940
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 4: to babysit because I suddenly needed to leave. They came

941
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:46,640
Speaker 4: over to babysit. I invited my dad over with that purpose,

942
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 4: and he agreed. No, she is not the grandmother. Marrying

943
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 4: my dad doesn't automatically make her family. No one calls

944
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:56,439
Speaker 4: her grandma. We all refer to her by her first name.

945
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 4: He already has two grandmothers. He doesn't need a third one.

946
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:02,520
Speaker 4: It wasn't sweet of her to take my son out.

947
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 4: You don't take other people's children anywhere without permission. You

948
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 4: want to document an outing, take a selfie, don't do

949
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:10,319
Speaker 4: the thing I specifically said I was already going to do.

950
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:13,279
Speaker 4: She was well aware I was looking forward to take

951
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:16,840
Speaker 4: him there, to taking him there myself. I genuinely have

952
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 4: no idea how it could be entitled or selfish of

953
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:24,120
Speaker 4: me to be upset one of my child's first was

954
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 4: stolen like that. She did mean harm again, she knew

955
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 4: I was looking forward to doing it myself. If I

956
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 4: didn't care about my dad's happiness, I'd refuse to be

957
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 4: around his fiance entirely. I don't care what my family does.

958
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:40,399
Speaker 4: I wouldn't mind if the people who are backing out

959
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:43,680
Speaker 4: of the party change their minds. I genuinely don't care

960
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:46,319
Speaker 4: whether my dad marries her. We're all adults, and I'm

961
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 4: not using my child for anything. I don't care about

962
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 4: being the center on the family universe, especially not compared

963
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:56,879
Speaker 4: to my dad's fiance, who makes literally every gathering about her.

964
00:45:57,719 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 4: And based on your tirade about your own VI, you're

965
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:03,839
Speaker 4: obviously projecting. You can reply to this if you want,

966
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:05,799
Speaker 4: but I won't give you any more attention than this

967
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:10,759
Speaker 4: and super unexpected. Mommy says not the a old. Does

968
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:14,200
Speaker 4: she always play dumb when she purposely stirs up trouble? Oh,

969
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:17,160
Speaker 4: he says most times? Yeah, and my dad usually buys it,

970
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 4: which makes it pretty difficult to deal with.

971
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 5: Oh man, Yeah, I'm curious on how your dad and

972
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 5: your mom split up because that might be another root problem.

973
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 4: Did oh yeah, yea, they would have because she said

974
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:33,160
Speaker 4: there's two grandmothers. Yeah, so yeah, I wonder what happened there,

975
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 4: if there was any fault.

976
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:38,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, because a self sabotage feels like it's coming from

977
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 5: your dad, because like it's like he's paired up with

978
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 5: the narcissist, a self centered woman. I don't even know

979
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:48,239
Speaker 5: how to say that, and he's like a codependent mail

980
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:49,920
Speaker 5: and so like that combo.

981
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:52,520
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, she's like whatever you want to whatever

982
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:52,839
Speaker 2: you want.

983
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:56,920
Speaker 6: She's like, I want to take the baby, and she's like,

984
00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 6: all right, dad, don't you think that might be it's

985
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 6: just like no time.

986
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:02,880
Speaker 4: And he's like, all right, yeah, you're right, money, yeah,

987
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:07,239
Speaker 4: founder better. Twenty two four says, my parents did this

988
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 4: with my daughter. At first I was upset, but then

989
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 4: I realized at one year old, she won't remember it.

990
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 4: I just took her myself for pictures. Now that my

991
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:16,560
Speaker 4: parents are gone and my daughter as an adult, I

992
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 4: love those pictures. Opie says. I know my son won't

993
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 4: remember this, but I will. I didn't want this woman

994
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 4: to take him. I wanted to do it with my

995
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:26,839
Speaker 4: husband and there will never be a point in which

996
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 4: I like these pictures. Even if she wasn't in them,

997
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:32,360
Speaker 4: they would still remind me that she took that moment

998
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:35,320
Speaker 4: away from us. We'll probably take our son again anyway,

999
00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:37,160
Speaker 4: but I can tell this will be in my head.

1000
00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:41,279
Speaker 4: Secure employee says, go ahead and take your son to

1001
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:43,560
Speaker 4: see Sannah. You won't remember that he was already there,

1002
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 4: and get the pictures you want. As for the party,

1003
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:49,239
Speaker 4: do does your husband's family do anything on Christmas Eve?

1004
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:51,959
Speaker 4: Maybe you can get together with them if you see

1005
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:54,080
Speaker 4: them on Christmas Day, or if they live far away,

1006
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 4: then get with a family that won't go to your

1007
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:59,760
Speaker 4: dad's party. Show him that there are consequences for his

1008
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:04,040
Speaker 4: Auntse's actions. Opie says, not on Christmas Eve, but some

1009
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:06,800
Speaker 4: of my in laws get together every year for Christmas.

1010
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 4: My husband doesn't want to go because it's a lot

1011
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:13,120
Speaker 4: of people and they're pretty loud. My maternal family also

1012
00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:16,239
Speaker 4: as yearly Christmas parties. I attend when I can, but

1013
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 4: it's in a different state and we can't travel comfortably

1014
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:22,280
Speaker 4: right now. My mom and stepdad are going to Europe

1015
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:26,480
Speaker 4: for the holidays, Opie says. Opie replies to a question

1016
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:29,800
Speaker 4: about why the Christmas display is up so early. It

1017
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:32,040
Speaker 4: might be a cultural thing. I don't live in the US.

1018
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 4: We don't have Thanksgiving, and Halloween isn't wildly celebrated. I've

1019
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:39,359
Speaker 4: seen Christmas displays start as early as October. The mall

1020
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:41,279
Speaker 4: near my place wasn't even the first to do at

1021
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 4: this time. Queen wa Oats says, did she have a

1022
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:47,080
Speaker 4: baby seat properly installed in her car in order to

1023
00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 4: take your child to the mall? Opie says she didn't

1024
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:50,720
Speaker 4: drive there, or she just put him in a stroller

1025
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:53,439
Speaker 4: and walked. I'm already angry, but I'd be even more

1026
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:55,839
Speaker 4: furious had she'd taken him more than five minutes away

1027
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:58,640
Speaker 4: from my place without permission. And there is an update

1028
00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:00,200
Speaker 4: twenty days later.

1029
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:01,640
Speaker 2: Do you have any thoughts?

1030
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 4: And we're only halfway through this, so there seems to

1031
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:05,800
Speaker 4: be a lot more that could happen.

1032
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:08,880
Speaker 5: I don't know, I mean, self centered woman, I'm invested

1033
00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:13,960
Speaker 5: in the plot now prediction. Everyone rebelled against them, the

1034
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 5: soon to be mother in law, Yeah, and they broke up.

1035
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:18,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, I hope so well.

1036
00:49:18,840 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 4: I don't know the thing is that if I feel like,

1037
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:25,319
Speaker 4: if Dad continues in this relationship, and doesn't acknowledge you know,

1038
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 4: his flaws, then Uh, he's gonna lose a lot of

1039
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:28,839
Speaker 4: people in his way.

1040
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:30,279
Speaker 5: That's just not thinking with the right head.

1041
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:33,360
Speaker 2: Dang it, dang it, it's what it be. It happens,

1042
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:34,359
Speaker 2: ill right into it.

1043
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:38,560
Speaker 4: Updates twenty days later, a little under two weeks after

1044
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 4: my first post, my husband and I took our baby

1045
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:43,760
Speaker 4: to a different mall and visited Sanna there. Their display

1046
00:49:43,800 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 4: wasn't as big as the one from the mall near

1047
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 4: our place, but it was more colorful and they had

1048
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:51,040
Speaker 4: a nicer tree. We explored the area with our son afterwards,

1049
00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:53,319
Speaker 4: and I came very close to tears watching the way

1050
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 4: he reacted to everything. We also took the opportunity to

1051
00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:59,640
Speaker 4: get some Christmas shopping and charity stuff done. Overall, we

1052
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 4: had a wonderful day. It didn't make either of us

1053
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:06,759
Speaker 4: forget what happened, but I'll cherish those memories forever. In

1054
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:08,920
Speaker 4: other news, out of the fifteen people who had been

1055
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 4: invited to the party, not including my son, only four

1056
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:16,560
Speaker 4: are still attending, two people from my paternal family and

1057
00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 4: two from my dad's fiances. The only two she invited

1058
00:50:19,719 --> 00:50:21,799
Speaker 4: my relatives who didn't back out of the party are

1059
00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 4: my dad's cousins, who is visiting from a different country

1060
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 4: and staying at his place, and my grandmother, who doesn't

1061
00:50:28,239 --> 00:50:30,520
Speaker 4: seem to understand what's going on. I want to stress

1062
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 4: that getting my family members involved wasn't my intention. I

1063
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:37,320
Speaker 4: told both of my cousins what happened because we planned

1064
00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 4: secret Sannah for the party every year. That's where the

1065
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:43,600
Speaker 4: news spread from. There was also a weird domino effect

1066
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:46,840
Speaker 4: going on with different parts of the family. I'm not coming,

1067
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 4: so neither are my parents type stuff, which contributed to

1068
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:52,759
Speaker 4: the amount of people who backed out. Communication with my

1069
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:56,760
Speaker 4: dad has been complicated. He's blaming his fiance for causing

1070
00:50:56,800 --> 00:51:00,280
Speaker 4: the problem, but also me for being emotional and ruining everything.

1071
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:02,319
Speaker 4: The first time we tried to talk, he made a

1072
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:06,000
Speaker 4: very offensive comment I couldn't overlook, and then accused me

1073
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:09,959
Speaker 4: of being dramatic over that too. Our second conversation was better,

1074
00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:12,719
Speaker 4: but didn't solve much. I was ready to call it

1075
00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:16,400
Speaker 4: quits and except we never agree on this, but my

1076
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 4: dad called me a few days ago with his fiance.

1077
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:22,560
Speaker 4: She didn't really apologize. Instead, she reiterated she just wanted

1078
00:51:22,560 --> 00:51:25,319
Speaker 4: to do something fun and didn't think it.

1079
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 2: Would be a big deal, but didn't mean to upset me.

1080
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:31,560
Speaker 2: I don't believe her. You know what I just heard.

1081
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:33,040
Speaker 5: I'm sorry you feel that way.

1082
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:36,479
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I'm just so you feel that way.

1083
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 2: I didn't mean to. I think she's lying, though.

1084
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:41,360
Speaker 1: You just miscommunicated the way I was going about it.

1085
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 2: She misunderstood I was doing a nice thing.

1086
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:46,440
Speaker 4: But the thing is that what she's saying here is

1087
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:48,920
Speaker 4: I was actually doing a good thing and you should

1088
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 4: appreciate it.

1089
00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:50,160
Speaker 2: Yep.

1090
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:52,319
Speaker 5: And I'm sorry you feel that way. Sorry you feel

1091
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:54,279
Speaker 5: hurt and mad and emotional.

1092
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 4: Yeah. Knowing her, I didn't buy any of that. I

1093
00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:59,759
Speaker 4: told her there were numerous things she could have done

1094
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:01,920
Speaker 4: that weren't the one thing she knew I was already

1095
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 4: planning on doing with my child and didn't require removing

1096
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 4: him from my place without permission. There was no way

1097
00:52:08,239 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 4: she hadn't realized it was important to me. She just

1098
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 4: didn't care. She tried denying it at first, but couldn't

1099
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 4: give me a better explanation. After a few minutes, she

1100
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:21,239
Speaker 4: started crying and said, you get to have special moments with.

1101
00:52:21,239 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 2: The baby every day. Why can't I have an hour?

1102
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:26,879
Speaker 2: That led to another small argument.

1103
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:29,080
Speaker 1: Is this emotional manipulation.

1104
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:32,600
Speaker 4: I'm oh, yes, it's ridiculous because so she's her first

1105
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:36,240
Speaker 4: thing is just deny, it's I didn't know you wanted

1106
00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:38,120
Speaker 4: to take I was doing a nice thing, and now

1107
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,120
Speaker 4: it's well, I want to spend time with a baby,

1108
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:41,800
Speaker 4: and you never let me have time with a baby.

1109
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:43,400
Speaker 2: And you always get time with a baby.

1110
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:48,959
Speaker 4: Uh, when this is Opie's baby, and right now, you're

1111
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:52,280
Speaker 4: not the mom, you're not the dad, you're not grandma.

1112
00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:55,719
Speaker 4: You don't really have any say, yeah over what time

1113
00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 4: you get to spend with the baby, Opie continues. That

1114
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:01,279
Speaker 4: led to another small argument. In the end, I told

1115
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:03,200
Speaker 4: them I didn't know what they thought would happen with

1116
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:06,279
Speaker 4: that call. I'm not going to their Christmas party, and

1117
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:09,200
Speaker 4: neither of them will ever babysit my son or any

1118
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:12,239
Speaker 4: other child I might have in the future. Okay, my

1119
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:15,279
Speaker 4: dad has sense apologized specifically for the phone call, but

1120
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:18,839
Speaker 4: I don't care anymore. I'm done losing hair over this,

1121
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 4: and I'm done being treated like my feelings, boundaries, and

1122
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:26,200
Speaker 4: authority as my child's mother don't matter. I'm not cutting

1123
00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:28,719
Speaker 4: ties with my dad, but I'll do whatever I can

1124
00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 4: to make sure nothing like this happens again, and I

1125
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:35,279
Speaker 4: like the information diet idea some of you suggested. I

1126
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:38,080
Speaker 4: definitely feel no need to share any news about my

1127
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 4: son with my dad's fiance. As for the holidays, my

1128
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:44,200
Speaker 4: eldest cousin is throwing a small party at her place

1129
00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:47,080
Speaker 4: on Christmas Eve, which mostly everyone who backed out of

1130
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:50,000
Speaker 4: my dad's party is attending. On Christmas Day, will visit

1131
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:52,560
Speaker 4: my in laws and then return home to relax with

1132
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:54,120
Speaker 4: our baby and play video games.

1133
00:53:54,239 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 5: Oh dude, video games on Christmas Day.

1134
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:59,440
Speaker 4: That's like a solid plant. Sam and I played Boomerang

1135
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:01,440
Speaker 4: Foo with our parents.

1136
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:03,799
Speaker 5: Oh uh yeah, I can imagine how that was my

1137
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 5: mom given.

1138
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:06,319
Speaker 2: Stupid I hate this game.

1139
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:06,799
Speaker 1: I keep.

1140
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:09,560
Speaker 4: Next year, we're traveling out of state to see my

1141
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 4: maternal family and go to the beach.

1142
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:13,640
Speaker 5: How is this going to impact your relationship with your

1143
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:16,200
Speaker 5: dad going forward outside of holidays.

1144
00:54:16,040 --> 00:54:19,719
Speaker 4: Well, it seems like they're having multiple conversations where they're

1145
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:20,800
Speaker 4: getting somewhere.

1146
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:22,040
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1147
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 2: This has been a very.

1148
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:25,520
Speaker 4: Chaotic month and I have no desire to waste more

1149
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:28,919
Speaker 4: energy on this, so I probably won't update again. I'm

1150
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:31,279
Speaker 4: not one hundred percent satisfied with how everything worked out,

1151
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:33,600
Speaker 4: but I'm glad the situation has been mostly dealt with,

1152
00:54:34,239 --> 00:54:36,400
Speaker 4: and this might actually be the most excited I've been

1153
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:40,520
Speaker 4: about Christmas in a while. Thank you and Happy Holidays comments.

1154
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 4: Smell Us says, why can't you have an hour of

1155
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:45,399
Speaker 4: special moments? Because this is your baby. I don't think

1156
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:48,640
Speaker 4: she'll ever get it, Opie. Opie says, my son is

1157
00:54:48,680 --> 00:54:51,800
Speaker 4: the first baby born in my paternal family in two decades,

1158
00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 4: so I was always a bit worried things would get

1159
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:57,960
Speaker 4: too overwhelming. Turns out most of my relatives are very respectful,

1160
00:54:58,000 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 4: but this isn't the first time I've had trouble with

1161
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:04,400
Speaker 4: and my dad over something related to my son. And

1162
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 4: like I mentioned in my first post, she's extremely self centered.

1163
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,200
Speaker 4: Part of me almost believed she didn't mean to harm me,

1164
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:13,000
Speaker 4: simply because I'm pretty sure she doesn't think about anyone

1165
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:13,760
Speaker 4: else's feelings.

1166
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:17,000
Speaker 2: Oh lovely, Yeah, she didn't mean to Army because she

1167
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:18,359
Speaker 2: just doesn't care about you at all.

1168
00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:19,640
Speaker 5: She just didn't think of it.

1169
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:23,600
Speaker 4: Man and Opie says, I spoke with my cousins about

1170
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:26,320
Speaker 4: why they backed out, and there are basically three reasons

1171
00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:29,719
Speaker 4: why so many people did. One, they prefer to spend

1172
00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:33,239
Speaker 4: Christmas with me, two. My dad's Beyonce tends to go

1173
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:36,280
Speaker 4: a bit overboard with the decorations when they're the ones hosting.

1174
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 4: Some of my family members went through a very traumatic

1175
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:42,120
Speaker 4: incident on Christmas about thirty years ago, so even those

1176
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:44,760
Speaker 4: that still celebrate with us aren't really Christmas people.

1177
00:55:45,440 --> 00:55:45,640
Speaker 2: Three.

1178
00:55:45,840 --> 00:55:48,520
Speaker 4: Some people were only coming because of someone else who

1179
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:49,280
Speaker 4: backed out.

1180
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:53,399
Speaker 5: And that whole situation just sounded like World War One

1181
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:56,759
Speaker 5: to me. Yeah, just everything was this thing happened in

1182
00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:57,799
Speaker 5: all the countries had it?

1183
00:55:57,880 --> 00:55:58,200
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1184
00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:01,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, your dad is the Axis powers that you guys

1185
00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:02,280
Speaker 4: are all the ally powers.

1186
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:04,200
Speaker 2: But that is the end of that story.

1187
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:07,719
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Keelan, your residential nerd. We're going to get

1188
00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:09,680
Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads

1189
00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:10,840
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

1190
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:13,880
Speaker 4: I refuse to house sit for my parents and it

1191
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:18,160
Speaker 4: made them make spood like an atomic bomb. This one's

1192
00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:20,920
Speaker 4: kind of long, so I'll give you the rundown. My

1193
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,279
Speaker 4: parents have recently moved to a town that's more than

1194
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:26,359
Speaker 4: three hours south of where we currently live. They own

1195
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:28,759
Speaker 4: the house that my sister, her fiance, and I all

1196
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 4: currently stay in and pay rent for through a lease agreement.

1197
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:35,600
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from outside respect seventy thirty

1198
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:37,400
Speaker 4: eight and if you smit your own stories, go to

1199
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:40,600
Speaker 4: the r slash Okay storytime subured it. I'm Sophia, and

1200
00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 4: I'm Savannah, Dona and all of us are here to

1201
00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:44,759
Speaker 4: give good of us, goofy, but we don't have all

1202
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:45,400
Speaker 4: the answers.

1203
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:47,239
Speaker 2: We only know what we'd do, So let us know

1204
00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:47,440
Speaker 2: what you.

1205
00:56:47,400 --> 00:56:50,040
Speaker 4: Would do in the comments and op seys. I'm currently

1206
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:53,560
Speaker 4: unemployed on a temporary layoff, but I have confirmed I'm

1207
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:56,040
Speaker 4: returning to work in a major city about an hour

1208
00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 4: north of our home in December. My mother asked the

1209
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:01,560
Speaker 4: three of us last week week about potentially house sitting

1210
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:04,400
Speaker 4: for a few days, all of them being weekdays at

1211
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:06,799
Speaker 4: the end of January. Since my dad is getting a

1212
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:09,959
Speaker 4: huge war for the company he works for. I talked

1213
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:12,359
Speaker 4: to my sister and her fiance about it, and they

1214
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:15,280
Speaker 4: said they tried to work it out since it wouldn't

1215
00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:17,560
Speaker 4: make sense for me to do it after just going

1216
00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 4: back to work, and it wouldn't be a good look

1217
00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:22,040
Speaker 4: on my part if I suddenly took four days off

1218
00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:25,240
Speaker 4: a month. In the next day, my sister said her

1219
00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:28,440
Speaker 4: work as this has the CEO of the program she's

1220
00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:32,760
Speaker 4: supervising on the premises that exact week, on those exact days,

1221
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:36,600
Speaker 4: that's unfortunate. This was confirmed by her higher up, meaning

1222
00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 4: it would not be wise to take those days off.

1223
00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:42,720
Speaker 4: Her fiance isn't in any better of a spot either,

1224
00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:47,360
Speaker 4: strictly because he's in an IT project management degree program

1225
00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:50,280
Speaker 4: out of college that is a very demanding syllabus along

1226
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:53,440
Speaker 4: with the hours he has working as a waiter. He asked,

1227
00:57:53,520 --> 00:57:55,880
Speaker 4: and they're not able to give them the time off either,

1228
00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:59,040
Speaker 4: So then it was left to me. I really didn't

1229
00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:00,920
Speaker 4: want to do it, but all my life I've been

1230
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:04,040
Speaker 4: made to feel like the main stressor of the family,

1231
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:06,440
Speaker 4: the main problem, the black sheep.

1232
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:08,080
Speaker 2: Because of that.

1233
00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:10,480
Speaker 4: I'm locked into trying to make them as happy as

1234
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:14,000
Speaker 4: I can and try not to make them angry. I

1235
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:16,280
Speaker 4: told them that if it's only me as an option,

1236
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:19,240
Speaker 4: it'll be an adjustment, but I'll make it work. The

1237
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:21,800
Speaker 4: other day, my mom was arguing with my sister while

1238
00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:24,200
Speaker 4: she was at work about the whole thing, and really

1239
00:58:24,240 --> 00:58:27,640
Speaker 4: didn't look to keep things level. For context, my sister

1240
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:29,920
Speaker 4: as a form of epilepsy that can be triggered in

1241
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:33,400
Speaker 4: high stress scenarios. I chose to stay quiet for the

1242
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:35,560
Speaker 4: time being. Since it isn't my conversation.

1243
00:58:36,240 --> 00:58:39,600
Speaker 2: But my sister was absolutely destroyed.

1244
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:41,920
Speaker 4: About the entire thing when she got home. Not you

1245
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:44,360
Speaker 4: your parents, and I let her vent to me and

1246
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:46,760
Speaker 4: show me what she said. All my sister did was

1247
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:49,480
Speaker 4: show exactly why she couldn't do the days my parents

1248
00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 4: were wanting her to be there. There was no animosity,

1249
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 4: no name calling, no aggression whatsoever. My mother was the

1250
00:58:56,320 --> 00:59:00,320
Speaker 4: one taking the swings. I was understandably angry, but my

1251
00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:03,040
Speaker 4: sister and I agreed I'd stay out of it strictly

1252
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:06,640
Speaker 4: because if they see we're showing what each other, if

1253
00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:09,320
Speaker 4: they see we're showing what each person is receiving via

1254
00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:12,920
Speaker 4: text message, it wouldn't go well. It didn't when we

1255
00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:15,280
Speaker 4: were all living together, and it never works even to

1256
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:18,680
Speaker 4: this day. Yesterday morning came and I woke up to

1257
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 4: a long form text from my mother saying that she'd

1258
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:23,840
Speaker 4: like to take me to the town for a day,

1259
00:59:24,240 --> 00:59:26,360
Speaker 4: then take me up to the shipyard in Seattle to

1260
00:59:26,360 --> 00:59:29,000
Speaker 4: see if the commute would be doable. Honestly, I've been

1261
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:31,480
Speaker 4: stressed about the commute after I started looking it up.

1262
00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:34,400
Speaker 4: My usual start time in the field i'm working in

1263
00:59:34,560 --> 00:59:38,120
Speaker 4: is at five am. Sometimes six am. It just mainly

1264
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:41,480
Speaker 4: depends on what the hours per project are. This means

1265
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 4: I would have to get up at around midnight just

1266
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:47,000
Speaker 4: to take care of their three large dogs in the morning,

1267
00:59:47,200 --> 00:59:50,000
Speaker 4: make sure they're fed, then check up on their cats,

1268
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:53,120
Speaker 4: then lock everything up before I live, then lock everything

1269
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:56,080
Speaker 4: up before I leave, then driving four hours to work

1270
00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:59,360
Speaker 4: a full manual labor job. After that, I'd have to

1271
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:02,520
Speaker 4: make that safe four hour drive back down south, only

1272
01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:06,080
Speaker 4: this time it's in rush hour traffic all the way down.

1273
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:08,240
Speaker 2: I five that four hour.

1274
01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:11,680
Speaker 4: Commute, it just turned into six hours. This means in theory,

1275
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:14,000
Speaker 4: I wouldn't even be back at their house until seven

1276
01:00:14,040 --> 01:00:16,640
Speaker 4: to eight thirty at night, only to then do the

1277
01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:20,480
Speaker 4: same thing over again for another three days. I expressed

1278
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:21,960
Speaker 4: that I don't think it would be safe for me

1279
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:24,760
Speaker 4: to make that drive after looking it up. My mother

1280
01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:26,960
Speaker 4: then started to get short with me, and I asked

1281
01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:27,800
Speaker 4: if she was mad at me.

1282
01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:28,800
Speaker 2: Big mistake.

1283
01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 4: It turned into this argument where I had to then

1284
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:34,920
Speaker 4: explain what everyone in this house has been explaining for

1285
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:38,080
Speaker 4: over a week now, and I finally let loose on

1286
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:40,400
Speaker 4: how I felt about how she spoke to my sister,

1287
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:45,040
Speaker 4: knowing full well of her condition. So right before Thanksgiving,

1288
01:00:45,080 --> 01:00:47,640
Speaker 4: the day before my birthday, and right at the start

1289
01:00:47,680 --> 01:00:49,640
Speaker 4: of the holidays, I was told to.

1290
01:00:49,560 --> 01:00:50,760
Speaker 2: Go straight back.

1291
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:53,480
Speaker 4: I thought that was the end of it, but due

1292
01:00:53,480 --> 01:00:55,720
Speaker 4: to me being the only Android user in the house,

1293
01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:58,920
Speaker 4: I didn't see the audio messages. I didn't see the

1294
01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:01,680
Speaker 4: audio messages my father had sent to the group chat,

1295
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:03,760
Speaker 4: which stated in shorter terms that.

1296
01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:07,200
Speaker 6: We were all in selent and titled brats, and that

1297
01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:09,560
Speaker 6: from now till the end of LISE we are only

1298
01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:13,000
Speaker 6: in a landlord to tenant relationship. You all had better

1299
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:15,320
Speaker 6: follow that LISE agreement to the letter of the law.

1300
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:17,240
Speaker 6: And at the end of it, I'm selling the house.

1301
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:18,960
Speaker 6: Now all of you have to figure it out.

1302
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:22,800
Speaker 4: You made adult decisions, Now you deal with the adult consequences.

1303
01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:25,840
Speaker 2: Your parents are grazy, yeah, what I.

1304
01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:28,280
Speaker 4: Mean, like what would your parents are selling mouse? Because

1305
01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:30,480
Speaker 4: you guys couldn't watch the dogs literally.

1306
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:31,880
Speaker 2: And the cats, and I don't know is there a

1307
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:34,720
Speaker 2: parent in there? This is crazy, Like that's it, And

1308
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 2: it's like, now you don't get the d to my house.

1309
01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:39,400
Speaker 2: I hate you guys, Like what drama.

1310
01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:42,720
Speaker 4: The last little dagger I got yesterday was pretty cruel too.

1311
01:01:43,160 --> 01:01:46,720
Speaker 4: I won't go into specifics, but my unemployment checks I've

1312
01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:49,640
Speaker 4: been getting are substantially less than what I regularly make

1313
01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:52,440
Speaker 4: at the shipyard I work at. Because of that, I've

1314
01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:55,480
Speaker 4: had to prioritize bills, my car payments, and I've had

1315
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:58,240
Speaker 4: an arrangement with my parents that i'd make a split

1316
01:01:58,280 --> 01:01:59,520
Speaker 4: payment of rent.

1317
01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 2: Half each week.

1318
01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,880
Speaker 4: I notified them i'd have to make a similar arrangement

1319
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:06,400
Speaker 4: this coming month because of the bills I have to pay.

1320
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:09,320
Speaker 4: I was told prior that the late rent fee would

1321
01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:12,800
Speaker 4: be waived since I notified them earlier and it wouldn't

1322
01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:16,440
Speaker 4: be a problem. However, magically it's now an issue and

1323
01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:20,200
Speaker 4: I'm to include it in my late rent payment. I

1324
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:23,920
Speaker 4: haven't spoken to them since yesterday, and my sister, her fiance,

1325
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:25,680
Speaker 4: and I are going to be trying to come up

1326
01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:28,800
Speaker 4: with what to do and respect for living arrangements, and

1327
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:31,080
Speaker 4: trying to talk to my parents in order to try

1328
01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:34,560
Speaker 4: and figure this out in a diplomatic fashion. Today is

1329
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:37,520
Speaker 4: now my birthday and they're posting on my timeline as

1330
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:40,439
Speaker 4: if nothing from the last week has ever happened. I've

1331
01:02:40,440 --> 01:02:43,320
Speaker 4: never really felt more alone than today. I just want

1332
01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:43,560
Speaker 4: to know.

1333
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:45,560
Speaker 2: Am I the a hole?

1334
01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:49,240
Speaker 4: And there is an update seven days later. But what

1335
01:02:49,280 --> 01:02:49,960
Speaker 4: do you think.

1336
01:02:50,120 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 2: I don't think so, I really don't think that you're

1337
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:52,560
Speaker 2: the a hole.

1338
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 1: OP.

1339
01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:57,080
Speaker 2: I feel like it's hard, like obviously you don't want

1340
01:02:57,120 --> 01:02:59,160
Speaker 2: to let your parents down and whatnot, but it also

1341
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:04,360
Speaker 2: distincs me because like you're driving like so long and

1342
01:03:04,480 --> 01:03:07,280
Speaker 2: so far, Like are they paying for gas? Are they

1343
01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:07,760
Speaker 2: paying for you?

1344
01:03:07,800 --> 01:03:08,040
Speaker 6: Just day?

1345
01:03:08,160 --> 01:03:09,920
Speaker 2: Like I mean you're not really not that you have

1346
01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:13,040
Speaker 2: to get anything out of it, but you know, at

1347
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:17,720
Speaker 2: least like something you know, you know, right, Yeah, But

1348
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:20,880
Speaker 2: it's just I don't know, like I just don't get why,

1349
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:26,000
Speaker 2: Like it doesn't make sense like thematically, like just thinking

1350
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:28,400
Speaker 2: about it, like it really doesn't from like trying to

1351
01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:30,400
Speaker 2: make this work to like why don't you just have

1352
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:34,200
Speaker 2: your neighbor or anyone else rather than your daughter rested?

1353
01:03:34,280 --> 01:03:37,200
Speaker 2: Drive six hours? Yeah, six hours is crazy, especially with

1354
01:03:37,240 --> 01:03:39,959
Speaker 2: like yeah, that's like for how many, like four days

1355
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:42,680
Speaker 2: or something like that. Twelve hours a day. Yeah, that's

1356
01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:43,960
Speaker 2: that's an insane emore.

1357
01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:46,280
Speaker 4: I guess more like ten hours day because it's four

1358
01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:48,400
Speaker 4: hours in the morning, but yeah, ten hours a day

1359
01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:49,280
Speaker 4: for four days.

1360
01:03:49,440 --> 01:03:51,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I couldn't oh't.

1361
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:54,760
Speaker 4: Like go seven days later. So last week literally the

1362
01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:57,880
Speaker 4: day of me posting the ale post, and also on

1363
01:03:57,880 --> 01:04:02,800
Speaker 4: my birthday crap Midvan. It all started when my dad

1364
01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:06,480
Speaker 4: decided to call me and my roommates sister and her fiance.

1365
01:04:07,520 --> 01:04:10,400
Speaker 4: I kept a professional per his request of being landlord

1366
01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:12,880
Speaker 4: to tenant till the end of the lease. He did

1367
01:04:12,880 --> 01:04:14,960
Speaker 4: not like that and started yelling at me over the

1368
01:04:14,960 --> 01:04:18,000
Speaker 4: phone for involving my shelf and out conversation that didn't

1369
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:21,680
Speaker 4: include me. I pushed on keeping my cool and try

1370
01:04:21,720 --> 01:04:23,439
Speaker 4: to set up a day where we could all meet

1371
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:27,320
Speaker 4: in person and discuss boundaries. We decided on a day.

1372
01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:32,120
Speaker 4: He briskly hangs up, then calls me again. Apparently he's

1373
01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:34,080
Speaker 4: confused that we're setting up a day for all three

1374
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:36,960
Speaker 4: of us roommates to talk when the discussion was meant

1375
01:04:36,960 --> 01:04:40,560
Speaker 4: for you and your sister. I responded, well, seeing as

1376
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:43,840
Speaker 4: this persains to the potential non extension of the lease,

1377
01:04:44,440 --> 01:04:46,600
Speaker 4: I figured that would have to also pertain to our

1378
01:04:46,640 --> 01:04:47,360
Speaker 4: third roommate.

1379
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:49,000
Speaker 1: He didn't like that.

1380
01:04:49,160 --> 01:04:51,480
Speaker 4: He started yelling at me about how I addressed my

1381
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:54,480
Speaker 4: mother over text. The text show I was just trying

1382
01:04:54,520 --> 01:04:56,640
Speaker 4: to discuss how none of us would have been able

1383
01:04:56,680 --> 01:04:59,120
Speaker 4: to do it, even though my mother was adamant that

1384
01:04:59,160 --> 01:05:02,440
Speaker 4: we were lying. I then go off on him against

1385
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:05,160
Speaker 4: my better judgment about how they were wearing down my sister,

1386
01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:11,120
Speaker 4: who's a known stress based epileptic. His response, get the

1387
01:05:11,120 --> 01:05:13,800
Speaker 4: app out of my house, pack your crap hangs up,

1388
01:05:13,880 --> 01:05:16,520
Speaker 4: so understandably I'm a little mad. I let them know

1389
01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:19,040
Speaker 4: I was out, and I went upstairs to vent to

1390
01:05:19,080 --> 01:05:21,800
Speaker 4: my best friend and figure out what to do. My

1391
01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:24,800
Speaker 4: sister then gets spam called by my mother who is

1392
01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:27,880
Speaker 4: yelling at her over the phone and her fiance and

1393
01:05:27,920 --> 01:05:30,400
Speaker 4: I decide to take the phone outside to try and

1394
01:05:30,480 --> 01:05:32,120
Speaker 4: calm my mother down again.

1395
01:05:32,280 --> 01:05:33,200
Speaker 2: She didn't like that.

1396
01:05:33,960 --> 01:05:36,640
Speaker 4: For context, my sister was diagnosed as a child with

1397
01:05:36,960 --> 01:05:41,400
Speaker 4: pubescent epilepsy. Initially, basically, it's a cysts that grows on

1398
01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:44,640
Speaker 4: a reproductive organ and can send neurons to the brain,

1399
01:05:45,160 --> 01:05:48,320
Speaker 4: then triggering a seizure due to the overload. Later on,

1400
01:05:48,480 --> 01:05:50,360
Speaker 4: at the age of twenty, it was found that she

1401
01:05:50,440 --> 01:05:53,640
Speaker 4: actually can get her seizures from elevated levels of stress,

1402
01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:56,160
Speaker 4: and that if she were having any signs of a

1403
01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:58,880
Speaker 4: panic attack, we were to separate her from the situation

1404
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:02,160
Speaker 4: and get her calmed down as quickly as possible in

1405
01:06:02,240 --> 01:06:04,880
Speaker 4: order to avoid a seizure. This was one of the

1406
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:08,959
Speaker 4: stressful situations we were warned about from our neurologist, and

1407
01:06:09,080 --> 01:06:12,200
Speaker 4: so over much talking over her and trying to coax

1408
01:06:12,240 --> 01:06:14,880
Speaker 4: her to actually listen to us, our mother decided that

1409
01:06:14,920 --> 01:06:18,000
Speaker 4: she would threaten calling emergency services to check up on

1410
01:06:18,080 --> 01:06:21,320
Speaker 4: her if she's so bad off. We actually agreed with

1411
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:24,040
Speaker 4: her doing this because at this point my sister was

1412
01:06:24,080 --> 01:06:28,680
Speaker 4: crumpled on the floor, hyperventilating, crying her eyes out. She

1413
01:06:28,760 --> 01:06:30,480
Speaker 4: hangs up on us, and I go to call my

1414
01:06:30,520 --> 01:06:32,640
Speaker 4: best friend again to try and make sense of this

1415
01:06:32,720 --> 01:06:37,240
Speaker 4: whole thing. All of a sudden, the doorbell rings non stop.

1416
01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:38,800
Speaker 2: It's my mother.

1417
01:06:39,480 --> 01:06:41,760
Speaker 4: I cracked the door, asking what she wanted, and she

1418
01:06:41,840 --> 01:06:44,360
Speaker 4: pushes me out of the way, storms array up the

1419
01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:47,320
Speaker 4: stairs and gestures at the upstairs common room, all high

1420
01:06:47,320 --> 01:06:51,320
Speaker 4: and mighty. By the way, the upstairs wasn't dirty or unsanitary.

1421
01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:54,080
Speaker 4: The only issue was some cleaning supplies on the kitchen

1422
01:06:54,080 --> 01:06:56,520
Speaker 4: counter and some dog hair on the floor from my

1423
01:06:56,640 --> 01:07:00,680
Speaker 4: all black German shepherd. Ooh, yes, dead's lack. She starts

1424
01:07:00,800 --> 01:07:03,440
Speaker 4: yelling at me over the condition of the upstairs and

1425
01:07:03,440 --> 01:07:05,840
Speaker 4: goes on a tirade on how it makes sense they

1426
01:07:05,920 --> 01:07:08,560
Speaker 4: have now went over with how the house is literally

1427
01:07:08,560 --> 01:07:10,880
Speaker 4: had multiple friends come over an hour or so later.

1428
01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:13,480
Speaker 4: No one complained about the state of the upstairs area

1429
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:16,560
Speaker 4: and were in fact in disbelief at how my mother

1430
01:07:16,680 --> 01:07:21,040
Speaker 4: conducted herself. Later on, she tells me to get my daughter,

1431
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:24,280
Speaker 4: and to no surprise to anyone, she's already with her

1432
01:07:24,320 --> 01:07:28,120
Speaker 4: fiance overnight bags packed and leaving around the back to

1433
01:07:28,120 --> 01:07:29,800
Speaker 4: go to his car and get out of there. Because

1434
01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:31,920
Speaker 4: they were understandably scared. I try to get her to

1435
01:07:31,920 --> 01:07:34,640
Speaker 4: come this way while setting up my phone to record video,

1436
01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:37,800
Speaker 4: only because I was concerned for our safety and I

1437
01:07:37,840 --> 01:07:40,240
Speaker 4: didn't know how things were going to go. I set

1438
01:07:40,240 --> 01:07:43,560
Speaker 4: the phone to record, thanks Motorola for making an easily

1439
01:07:43,600 --> 01:07:47,160
Speaker 4: concealable phone by folding it in half, and my sister

1440
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:50,440
Speaker 4: reluctantly comes back to the front deck, choking back tears.

1441
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:55,000
Speaker 4: My mother starts wailing into her, verbally, spouting insults and

1442
01:07:55,080 --> 01:07:56,800
Speaker 4: yelling at her, and it gets to the point that

1443
01:07:56,880 --> 01:08:00,040
Speaker 4: she collapses into the door, about to fall over. I

1444
01:08:00,160 --> 01:08:02,520
Speaker 4: rush to her, help her to sit down on the

1445
01:08:02,560 --> 01:08:05,320
Speaker 4: stairs and get her to breathe as easily as she can.

1446
01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:07,840
Speaker 4: I then turn to my mom and simply say this

1447
01:08:08,120 --> 01:08:11,240
Speaker 4: is what you're doing to her welfare checked my butt.

1448
01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:14,960
Speaker 4: My mom starts unloading on me that I hear a

1449
01:08:14,960 --> 01:08:18,360
Speaker 4: familiar voice on her speakerphone. My dad is asking for me.

1450
01:08:18,479 --> 01:08:20,880
Speaker 4: She tosses me the phone and I head upstairs to

1451
01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:24,200
Speaker 4: lay into my dad about what just happened. Apparently he

1452
01:08:24,280 --> 01:08:27,360
Speaker 4: had no knowledge of her intending on coming to the house,

1453
01:08:27,840 --> 01:08:30,600
Speaker 4: and he's trying to separate me from the conversation. To

1454
01:08:30,720 --> 01:08:34,360
Speaker 4: not add more tension, I called his kahn and told

1455
01:08:34,439 --> 01:08:37,800
Speaker 4: him that we were trying to handle things diplomatically and respectfully.

1456
01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:40,920
Speaker 4: And then our mother decided to show up unannounced and

1457
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:44,800
Speaker 4: beerate my sister in person, let alone over the phone.

1458
01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:46,559
Speaker 4: At this point, they get out of the house and

1459
01:08:46,640 --> 01:08:49,920
Speaker 4: I'm following close behind, and Mom her phone back and

1460
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:53,240
Speaker 4: go to the car. Mom's right behind starts beating on

1461
01:08:53,280 --> 01:08:56,120
Speaker 4: the window since she wasn't finished. Then she goes into

1462
01:08:56,160 --> 01:09:00,280
Speaker 4: her car, backs up, boxing my sister's fiance car in.

1463
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:04,280
Speaker 4: She then fakes calling the cops. Mind you, we didn't

1464
01:09:04,320 --> 01:09:06,400
Speaker 4: know she faked it. I saw her dial it and

1465
01:09:06,479 --> 01:09:09,960
Speaker 4: hit call. She then says they need ems to check

1466
01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:13,160
Speaker 4: on my sister, and she'd like an officer to see me.

1467
01:09:13,160 --> 01:09:18,040
Speaker 2: About being belligerent. Yes, she told the yes ryan god thing.

1468
01:09:18,080 --> 01:09:21,640
Speaker 4: My boy won't eat his broccoli, so basically faking, you know,

1469
01:09:21,720 --> 01:09:22,240
Speaker 4: She's like.

1470
01:09:22,240 --> 01:09:25,520
Speaker 1: Hello, police, my daughter is being belligerent.

1471
01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:29,599
Speaker 4: Send someone over at stat Oh oh how am I doing?

1472
01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:33,479
Speaker 2: I'm all right. Oh I hope that that sounds nice.

1473
01:09:33,760 --> 01:09:37,040
Speaker 2: Mm yeah that would be really good. Well, yeah, we

1474
01:09:37,040 --> 01:09:40,240
Speaker 2: could do dinner. She's trying whoa mom's cheating with me?

1475
01:09:41,280 --> 01:09:42,240
Speaker 2: That's what happened.

1476
01:09:42,439 --> 01:09:44,559
Speaker 4: She then leaves in a huff, heeling out of the driveway,

1477
01:09:44,720 --> 01:09:46,800
Speaker 4: and I make dang sure she's gone.

1478
01:09:46,880 --> 01:09:48,920
Speaker 2: I then go back to their car ask them to

1479
01:09:49,040 --> 01:09:52,360
Speaker 2: roll it down. The thing is, I think your sister.

1480
01:09:52,120 --> 01:09:53,840
Speaker 4: Needs to, like you have to have a conversation with

1481
01:09:53,920 --> 01:09:55,639
Speaker 4: your sister or she needs to go to the therapy

1482
01:09:55,800 --> 01:09:58,760
Speaker 4: about wanting to please her parents, because what should have

1483
01:09:58,880 --> 01:10:01,879
Speaker 4: happened is she should gott in the car with her fiance,

1484
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:03,960
Speaker 4: which is what she had done, and left, but she

1485
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:05,800
Speaker 4: came back, which she shouldn't have done, because that just

1486
01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:08,720
Speaker 4: puts everything in a really tense situation. Is worse for

1487
01:10:08,760 --> 01:10:10,640
Speaker 4: her and her health. I think, yeah, we need to

1488
01:10:10,680 --> 01:10:11,920
Speaker 4: go no contact with these parents.

1489
01:10:12,040 --> 01:10:15,559
Speaker 2: I can understand like trying to like get parents' approval. Yeah,

1490
01:10:15,720 --> 01:10:17,880
Speaker 2: like I mean, I do that all the time. But

1491
01:10:18,640 --> 01:10:21,960
Speaker 2: when it comes to like something that is toxic and

1492
01:10:22,080 --> 01:10:24,920
Speaker 2: like harmful to you, then you you can't. You have

1493
01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:27,360
Speaker 2: to separate yourself. It's just it's not worth it, no,

1494
01:10:27,600 --> 01:10:30,760
Speaker 2: for your own health and you know, mental health, Like

1495
01:10:30,840 --> 01:10:33,960
Speaker 2: it's you know, obviously it affected her so much that

1496
01:10:34,280 --> 01:10:37,559
Speaker 2: she had a physical reaction like that's not okay, No,

1497
01:10:37,840 --> 01:10:40,800
Speaker 2: And also to do that to a daughter is like crazy, ridiculous.

1498
01:10:41,040 --> 01:10:43,519
Speaker 4: I then go back to their car, ask them to

1499
01:10:43,600 --> 01:10:45,760
Speaker 4: roll it down, let them know they might want to

1500
01:10:45,760 --> 01:10:49,240
Speaker 4: stay for when EMS arrives, and potentially for if I

1501
01:10:49,320 --> 01:10:53,240
Speaker 4: end up getting booked on some BS charge. Apparently fiance's

1502
01:10:53,280 --> 01:10:56,120
Speaker 4: sister actually ended up calling the cops as well, so

1503
01:10:56,240 --> 01:10:59,719
Speaker 4: either way, unit was coming by and he did. Sheriff,

1504
01:10:59,880 --> 01:11:02,680
Speaker 4: you were awesome. Thank you for hearing us out and

1505
01:11:02,720 --> 01:11:05,880
Speaker 4: giving us the best advice to go forward fast forwarding

1506
01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:08,400
Speaker 4: a IT cop came, did the welfare check, talked with

1507
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:10,880
Speaker 4: us on next step since they couldn't evict us like

1508
01:11:10,880 --> 01:11:14,799
Speaker 4: they tried to do, and to potentially seek other housing arrangements.

1509
01:11:14,880 --> 01:11:17,080
Speaker 4: By the time the lease wraps up, all of these

1510
01:11:17,080 --> 01:11:20,559
Speaker 4: were already doing thanks to some dire foresight. The next day,

1511
01:11:20,640 --> 01:11:23,160
Speaker 4: my mom calls me at six in the morning, fakes

1512
01:11:23,160 --> 01:11:26,120
Speaker 4: an apology, breaks down crying because she feels like we

1513
01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:28,320
Speaker 4: all attacked her and now she was the one who

1514
01:11:28,320 --> 01:11:31,040
Speaker 4: should have felt unsafe. I kept an even tone and

1515
01:11:31,080 --> 01:11:33,600
Speaker 4: told her I didn't want to discuss this with her anymore.

1516
01:11:33,800 --> 01:11:36,680
Speaker 2: I just think that it's not worth it. Yeah, like,

1517
01:11:36,720 --> 01:11:40,240
Speaker 2: I mean as much as like you like, they so this.

1518
01:11:40,360 --> 01:11:45,599
Speaker 2: They got mad at what if for not house sitting, right,

1519
01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:47,400
Speaker 2: they got mad at her for everything.

1520
01:11:47,479 --> 01:11:50,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, but yeah, I'm like, just the start was, hey,

1521
01:11:50,479 --> 01:11:53,559
Speaker 4: could you watch the dots? All of this started because

1522
01:11:53,600 --> 01:11:55,719
Speaker 4: Op couldn't watch her parents' dogs.

1523
01:11:55,840 --> 01:11:57,040
Speaker 2: That was six hours away.

1524
01:11:57,120 --> 01:12:00,519
Speaker 4: That was six hours ago, six hours ago, six six

1525
01:12:00,600 --> 01:12:02,879
Speaker 4: hours ago, we found out that she couldn't watch the dogs,

1526
01:12:03,080 --> 01:12:05,320
Speaker 4: and now we're finding out like that her parents are

1527
01:12:05,400 --> 01:12:07,599
Speaker 4: insane and they had to call the cops on them.

1528
01:12:07,640 --> 01:12:10,120
Speaker 4: Birthday was ruined at that point, and I have no

1529
01:12:10,200 --> 01:12:14,640
Speaker 4: intention of trying to rebuild it. And that day was Thanksgiving.

1530
01:12:14,760 --> 01:12:17,760
Speaker 4: No dad sends a least notice about the least not

1531
01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:20,439
Speaker 4: being renewed and then try to call a house inspection

1532
01:12:20,560 --> 01:12:24,080
Speaker 4: for Saturday, the twenty ninth in order to evaluate the

1533
01:12:24,080 --> 01:12:26,880
Speaker 4: property for the future sale. When the lease wraps up,

1534
01:12:27,720 --> 01:12:31,800
Speaker 4: I requested it to be extended, which got approved. But again,

1535
01:12:31,880 --> 01:12:34,519
Speaker 4: I just feel like he's trying to weaponize the lease

1536
01:12:34,840 --> 01:12:36,920
Speaker 4: since it's the last thing he can hold over my

1537
01:12:36,960 --> 01:12:41,000
Speaker 4: head due to my disrespect and disobedience. There's way more

1538
01:12:41,040 --> 01:12:44,479
Speaker 4: that happened since then, including an ever evolving mental spiral

1539
01:12:44,960 --> 01:12:47,960
Speaker 4: because my parents are gaslighting me into feeling like I'm

1540
01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:51,120
Speaker 4: the primary stressor of the family and now all this

1541
01:12:51,320 --> 01:12:54,559
Speaker 4: is my fault. So reddit am I the ale And

1542
01:12:54,600 --> 01:12:56,360
Speaker 4: that's the end of that story.