Speaker 1: We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This
Speaker 1: is how men thick and I heard radio podcast. Hey guys,
Speaker 1: I'm lips up Chenko. You know me as a professional
Speaker 1: danswering boreographer danswer with the stars and I am stuper
Speaker 1: happy to co post and be a guest host. Um
Speaker 1: on how men think? I'm gonna be answering all your
Speaker 1: questions and the the main like, the fascinating question is
Speaker 1: that how men think? So let's get started. Producers put
Speaker 1: me in the hot steed and I have to answer
Speaker 1: all of these eleven questions that are in front of me,
Speaker 1: and let's start a question number one? What are you
Speaker 1: known for? Tell us about yourself what I'm known for.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm hot Russian professional board dancer and dancer
Speaker 1: with the stars. That's what I'm known for. But I'm
Speaker 1: also a girl that I have two beautiful daughters living
Speaker 1: just turned eleven yesterday actually, and I have a lot
Speaker 1: who's four years old. Um, and you know my life
Speaker 1: is around them and dance and that's what I've pretty
Speaker 1: much like known for. And um yeah, who are you
Speaker 1: in your personal life? Who am I in my personal life? Oh?
Speaker 1: What does it mean? Mean? Like I don't even know
Speaker 1: who are you in the person? Like I think, um,
Speaker 1: you know I am, you know, I'm a dad. Number one.
Speaker 1: I think I'm I've been. I'm dreaven always to be
Speaker 1: a better person every day. I come from nothing. Uh
Speaker 1: and I'm in Hollywood living literally in American dream Like
Speaker 1: if you would like it would have more time, like
Speaker 1: I would tell you, like my whole life story, which
Speaker 1: is I think it's pretty crazy, but um yeah, I
Speaker 1: just I'm just just a regular normal guy with two
Speaker 1: kids saying go and you know, trying to trying to
Speaker 1: teach celebrities to chat to walk. What three TV shows
Speaker 1: are you binge watching right now? That's a good one, Um,
Speaker 1: the three D TV shows? So I would say number one.
Speaker 1: I'm still like it's an older show, but I think
Speaker 1: like if someone like I haven't watched it as the
Speaker 1: money has, I'm obsessed with the show. I think it's
Speaker 1: an incredible show. The recent one that I just watched
Speaker 1: is with Game also Super Sick, Like I love that show.
Speaker 1: And the one that I just started watching is The Made.
Speaker 1: I think it's like a pretty like a intense show
Speaker 1: that kind of like actually, you know, see what's going
Speaker 1: on with like people with other people like where they're
Speaker 1: going through. You know what I mean is it's like
Speaker 1: it's a really beautiful shot at and produced. I think
Speaker 1: it's a really good show. What is your favorite food?
Speaker 1: What's my favorite food? What's my favorite food? I think pizza.
Speaker 1: I love pizza like I love any kind of pizza.
Speaker 1: I think I can eat pizza every day. Um yeah,
Speaker 1: that's like my favorite food. I know it's really bad.
Speaker 1: It's like super healthy. And I supposed to represent like
Speaker 1: a health and wellness and I was like pizza, you know,
Speaker 1: so yeah, I love pizza. Tell us about your career. Okay,
Speaker 1: my career. Um, look, my career is pretty crazy. I
Speaker 1: you know, I grew up a mom originally from Moscow, Russia.
Speaker 1: Grew up with mom and dad, and they kind of
Speaker 1: put me in the dance gas and I started, you know, dancing,
Speaker 1: and by the age of thirteen fourteen, I knew it
Speaker 1: was gonna be my career. Like in my culture is
Speaker 1: like if you do something for a specially for parents,
Speaker 1: and they probably put me in dance colleges because they
Speaker 1: wanted to keep me off the streets and like you know,
Speaker 1: for kids to do something, but then they push you.
Speaker 1: They push you so hard that it becomes your you know,
Speaker 1: like it becomes you know, something that you do, and
Speaker 1: then you have to do it great and you have
Speaker 1: to put all your energy into it. And I danced
Speaker 1: with all my life and then then moved to different
Speaker 1: country a lot via I dance there with a girl
Speaker 1: represent the country for a couple of years. Uh. Came
Speaker 1: back to Russian kind of at the age of seventeen eighteen,
Speaker 1: I realized I was like, I don't really want to
Speaker 1: do dance anymore, Like there's like, you know, I only
Speaker 1: spend money because there's no like price, uh money for
Speaker 1: the competitions, and that was like a Russian champion at
Speaker 1: that time, Like you always have to travel on your
Speaker 1: with your own expand you have to take lessons, you
Speaker 1: have to buy coustomes, buy shoes, so it becomes like
Speaker 1: an expensive hobby. So it doesn't give you unless you teach.
Speaker 1: But and with teaching, like in Russia, like you can
Speaker 1: to really make anything. So I was like, I gotta
Speaker 1: do something. So I became a fitness dance fitness instructor
Speaker 1: in one of the fitness centers in Moscow, and one
Speaker 1: um kind of mine and she came up to me
Speaker 1: after the class. She was like, have you ever tried modeling?
Speaker 1: And I was like, no, never tried modeling. She was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take you to model agency. So she brought
Speaker 1: me to model agency. I uh, I started doing modeling
Speaker 1: and became like super successful. Like I was like on
Speaker 1: every cover of the magazine in Russian doing music videos
Speaker 1: and with this, and like I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna be the next breath pit. But for
Speaker 1: me to become an ex breath pit, I have to
Speaker 1: move to America, you know what I mean. So I
Speaker 1: was like great, So I moved to America and I
Speaker 1: lived in New York for about three years. I did uh,
Speaker 1: I did modeling, and I kind of keep myself going.
Speaker 1: I was doing UM still talking they studio UM, and
Speaker 1: that's actually the time when dance start. As you just
Speaker 1: started to remember in on the time score that they
Speaker 1: build this huge glass box where me and my partner
Speaker 1: were like promoting this we'll start of this new brand
Speaker 1: new TV show where UM coming up. What's your biggest
Speaker 1: fear in life? Heights? I'm afraid of heights. I'm like
Speaker 1: super scared of heights. What makes you the most happy.
Speaker 1: I think just the time with family and kids, and
Speaker 1: like what makes me most happy is the positive people,
Speaker 1: the energy, you know, like every person has its own energy,
Speaker 1: and you know, I just love being around good people
Speaker 1: with good energy and interrupt and just have this good
Speaker 1: vibe that look like makes me super happy. What's your
Speaker 1: biggest pet? Peeve um? I'm like I have like a
Speaker 1: major O C D. Like I hate when someone washes
Speaker 1: the dishes and they don't like wipe the sink around,
Speaker 1: like if they if I could see like splashes of
Speaker 1: water around the sink, that frets me out, like I
Speaker 1: can't do it, and here like I can't like it.
Speaker 1: That's like Scott now like like if I stay here
Speaker 1: on the floor, was like, what is your ideal Saturday morning?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what's my ideal Saturday morning? Listen? Simple
Speaker 1: sipping a champagne on the boat and central pain. I've
Speaker 1: never done this, but that will be ideal on Saturday morning.
Speaker 1: Are you more of the athlete or the armchair quarterback?
Speaker 1: I'm more than I'm more an athlete. I'm super active. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And lastly, what keeps you motivated? What keeps you motivated?
Speaker 1: Never never being satisfied with with it's always like it's
Speaker 1: weird because and that's like something that I think it's
Speaker 1: either um like uh like a cultural thing or the
Speaker 1: way we've been like I've been brought up. It's like
Speaker 1: it's not being negative, but it's not being satisfied hundred
Speaker 1: percent because so you think like, oh you can like
Speaker 1: I always can do better, right, so like you can
Speaker 1: do better than like you could have like even like
Speaker 1: sometimes like let's simple example, right, like we we do
Speaker 1: with dance performing dance right, and dance goes great, We've
Speaker 1: got great scores on the show or something, but then
Speaker 1: I look at the video like and I'm never ever
Speaker 1: satisfied like, oh, that was awesome, you know, Like I
Speaker 1: told myself to do that because I'm working with someone
Speaker 1: who's never danced before. So I have to be positive
Speaker 1: and be like, oh that was great, you know, like
Speaker 1: actually when I look at it, even for myself, I'm
Speaker 1: like this one could have been like this one could
Speaker 1: have been better. So that keeps you motivated just to
Speaker 1: be better in junior, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: with everything I do. Alright, guys, so we're gonna take
Speaker 1: a quick break and when we come back. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: answer all your questions. Hey guys, and Ashley from the
Speaker 1: Almost Famous podcast, It's that time of year where drama
Speaker 1: fills the air. The Bachelor is back with an all
Speaker 1: new season premiering January three. There's a new host, Jesse Palmer,
Speaker 1: and a brand new Bachelor, Clayton. Clayton is a Midwest
Speaker 1: boy that has that great smile, nice teeth, and he's
Speaker 1: really tall as let's call it what it is, he's
Speaker 1: a beefcake. Okay, Well, Clayton seems to be a good
Speaker 1: guy though, and he can't wait to find love, get married,
Speaker 1: and have kids. And he believes more than anything that
Speaker 1: his future wife is on this show. It sounds like
Speaker 1: a fairy tale but also a bit of an emotional
Speaker 1: world coaster, because Clayton tells three different women he's falling
Speaker 1: in love with him. Technically, he told one, I couldn't
Speaker 1: be more sure that I'm falling in love with you,
Speaker 1: and another one, I'm falling in love with you, and
Speaker 1: the third one, I am in love with you. You
Speaker 1: don't miss a thing. It's your years of over analyzing
Speaker 1: everything that guys say. But his heart is in the
Speaker 1: right place. But other parts of him as we find
Speaker 1: out what he admits to two different women that he
Speaker 1: was intimate with both of them. Yeah, I don't think
Speaker 1: it's gonna go over well, we'll be breaking down at
Speaker 1: all on the almost famous podcast Ben is Married Now
Speaker 1: Well Ashley's a mom will change our opinions of what
Speaker 1: we think is acceptable single behavior. Good question find out
Speaker 1: on the almost Famous podcast on our Heart Radio and
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts. Al Right, guys, let's get
Speaker 1: to our first caller and uh yeah, here we go. Hi.
Speaker 1: My question would be, Um, do men ever learn to
Speaker 1: communicate better on their own? To communicate that? I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: hundred percent. I think it's all about self improvement and
Speaker 1: if he I think, for it depends on the person again,
Speaker 1: but for me personally, I think over the years, like
Speaker 1: I've learned a lot of things, you know, and it's
Speaker 1: not you know, you want to improve yourself and just
Speaker 1: be better for the person that you're with, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. I think it's like super important, um,
Speaker 1: not just to just to communicate, you know, and listen,
Speaker 1: like always try to like listen that you know, whoever
Speaker 1: is in front of you trying to tell you something.
Speaker 1: You know, um, and let the person speak and like
Speaker 1: try to like understand, not like stand like be stubborn
Speaker 1: like no, no, like you know, but like try to
Speaker 1: understand what this person is trying to tell you, because
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's important to hear. It's important to hear,
Speaker 1: and it's important to listen. That's how you can, you know,
Speaker 1: improve yourself otherwise to just being like super closed off.
Speaker 1: And you know what do you think, Emma, you agree
Speaker 1: with me? Yeah? But does that come in part with
Speaker 1: growing with your partner? Do you think like a man
Speaker 1: could understand how to communicate with a girl better without
Speaker 1: having their partner instruct them or get criticism from them. Well,
Speaker 1: there's the situations, right, there's situations like give me an example, right,
Speaker 1: let's stay with dating, right, and you want to go
Speaker 1: somewhere for Christmas and I don't want to go somewhere
Speaker 1: for Christmas? Right, So what do we do talk about exactly?
Speaker 1: We talk about it, and we decide and let listen,
Speaker 1: you tell them your opinion why you want to go there.
Speaker 1: Like they'll be like, listen, maybe we'll go to you know,
Speaker 1: to a lake or something, or go to Mexico or
Speaker 1: something like that. So it's it's all about the conversation.
Speaker 1: I think people need to have a conversation and be
Speaker 1: able to hear each other, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So like putting yourself on that person's place and be like, well,
Speaker 1: I understand where they come up, unless there's like a
Speaker 1: ridiculous like you know, so, I mean that makes sense.
Speaker 1: I guess it also depends on the stage of where
Speaker 1: you are in a relationship. If you guys are together
Speaker 1: or just beginning to talk, well, I think it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: I think if you if you're married for fifteen years
Speaker 1: or you just start dating. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: It's it's always gonna be something like, but it's just
Speaker 1: a different like how you're saying. It's a different stage
Speaker 1: of the conversation, do you know what I mean? But
Speaker 1: there's always that you have to always me. If you
Speaker 1: don't like something, tell me and I'll be like no, no, no,
Speaker 1: like or I'll be like okay, cool, yeah, like okay,
Speaker 1: I'll whatever. But thanks for calling. I appreciate your good question.
Speaker 1: Thank you appreci All right, here we go the next color. Hannah. Hi, Um,
Speaker 1: my question is I'm wondering if it is considered a
Speaker 1: red flag if you talk about an ex boyfriend or
Speaker 1: girlfriend on a first date. I mean, it depends how
Speaker 1: you talk about it, do you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 1: so I went on a date, uh, and I actually
Speaker 1: had a conversation with the girl who I'm actually seeing
Speaker 1: now on the first day. We talked about my action.
Speaker 1: I've been married for fifteen years, but I'm we're super
Speaker 1: cool now have to divorce. But I think it's not
Speaker 1: It depends on if you're positive and you're genuinely nice
Speaker 1: person and you're like, it's not like unless you're like
Speaker 1: shooting on someone, then that would be like, oh, that's
Speaker 1: so weird. Like if he talks about her like that,
Speaker 1: like what he's going to talk about me or something
Speaker 1: like that, that's you know. I think it depends on
Speaker 1: the person really, But what do you think I think?
Speaker 1: I mean, I think I've been on dates in the
Speaker 1: past where they ask if I've been in relationships before,
Speaker 1: and I've always been hesitant to answer yes or no
Speaker 1: because I don't want them to think I'm talking about
Speaker 1: my ex boyfriend too much. I tell you this straight on.
Speaker 1: You gotta be you gotta be straightforward, You've gotta be honest.
Speaker 1: And if he's okay to that, he's cool because then
Speaker 1: you can take it to the next level or whatever.
Speaker 1: But if you're like trying to hide something or not
Speaker 1: to say something or choose the words how you say,
Speaker 1: that's already not like a real thing because you're trying
Speaker 1: to like cater like to someone who you're know I
Speaker 1: really are you know what I mean? You always have
Speaker 1: to be yourself and just be like, Yo, I've been
Speaker 1: on twenty five thousand dates did not work. Hopefully you're
Speaker 1: the one because I like or something. Just be super
Speaker 1: cool yeah, and be like I think personally, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, if we're going the date and they'll
Speaker 1: be like okay, Hannah, how many relationships serious relationships have
Speaker 1: you had in the past. I'm asking like four four
Speaker 1: How that was the last relationship? How long was your
Speaker 1: last relationship? Six months? Six months? Why would you guys
Speaker 1: break up? Just what some red flags? I think on
Speaker 1: his part and maybe my part, we just weren't a
Speaker 1: good match. Well, you see, for me, if I would
Speaker 1: be on the date with you, that's not like a
Speaker 1: straightforward answer, Like I know, it's there's a lot of
Speaker 1: personal stuff, but eventually, like I would want to know
Speaker 1: what was the red flags, because then me coming from
Speaker 1: like a genue, like a good you know, like a good,
Speaker 1: like a like a you know what I mean, like
Speaker 1: being me like I would wanna maybe I don't make
Speaker 1: those kind of mistakes or something like that, Like there's
Speaker 1: always you know, just honest, so they know, because like
Speaker 1: life is too short. Why do I want to waste
Speaker 1: now with someone that is not telling me the truth
Speaker 1: of trying to be who not they're not really are
Speaker 1: or whatever, because then it's like, you know, there's no point. No,
Speaker 1: that's that's great advice. I'm definitely gonna gonna remember that.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Thank you, thanks for a question.
Speaker 1: Have a nice day you too. We got the next question. Hi,
Speaker 1: Hi tomorrow. It's so good to me. You nice to me.
Speaker 1: It's too Um well i'll jump into my question. I
Speaker 1: don't know how much time I have, so I'll get
Speaker 1: right in. Uh dating, of course. Um, it's all about dating.
Speaker 1: The older I get, the harder it is, the more
Speaker 1: I'm confused at how forward I should be with men,
Speaker 1: especially on a first date. So I'd love your take
Speaker 1: on how much you think I guess women should put
Speaker 1: out there with what their needs and wants in a partner,
Speaker 1: especially on the first date or two, right, So I
Speaker 1: think it really depends on the person. So do you
Speaker 1: I want to go and have nice dinner in the
Speaker 1: conversation with someone, or do you want to go and
Speaker 1: get play? Do you want to have a good time
Speaker 1: and go to a movie? And because well, because I'm
Speaker 1: just saying how it is, you know, we're all humans.
Speaker 1: We'll all want to have sex, we all want to eat,
Speaker 1: the world all want to sleep, you know, so like
Speaker 1: what's your intention? I think if you're like stupid, straightforward,
Speaker 1: then they're like, yo, you don't want to do that
Speaker 1: because that will be like, oh my god, like does
Speaker 1: she do that with every single guy that she goes
Speaker 1: on a date with. But then at the same time,
Speaker 1: they're like there's always a moment during that evening or
Speaker 1: dinner over drinks where you kind of like you feel
Speaker 1: that moment where like that's the time where I'm either
Speaker 1: like taking it to a different like level if you again,
Speaker 1: if you like that, right, but a hundred percent agree
Speaker 1: with you, Like it's so freaking hard when you get
Speaker 1: older to like to because eventually it's not about like
Speaker 1: and I think I'm just speaking for myself, I don't
Speaker 1: know how other guys like, they're different, Like some of
Speaker 1: my friends are like stay single, you know, like have
Speaker 1: like you know, blah blah blah, Like you know, do
Speaker 1: you think? And for me, it's not about this. It's
Speaker 1: all about the good vibes. Like if I have a
Speaker 1: good vibe with the person and like we're just you know,
Speaker 1: chilling and it's all like really really connected, that's a
Speaker 1: very different so and like the sex is just becomes
Speaker 1: an addition to that, right, But I think, yeah, again,
Speaker 1: it's what you want. What do you want? Well, I mean,
Speaker 1: everyone tells me to stay single, so I'm like, but
Speaker 1: as I'm dating, I'm like, this is fun and I
Speaker 1: exactly like you said, I want to be able to
Speaker 1: um enjoy it and have a friendship and see where
Speaker 1: that leads. But then I'm also thinking, okay, do I
Speaker 1: tell them I actually want to see how far this goes.
Speaker 1: I'm looking for a life partner. So does that scare
Speaker 1: the person at the get go? Um? You know it's not.
Speaker 1: I think depends what It depends what this person wants.
Speaker 1: You know, this person wants just to have fun, and
Speaker 1: you'll be like, Okay, cool. We can have fun, right,
Speaker 1: but then you know, yeah, yeah, then it's not meant today. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just take it, take take a step by step, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. And but always always think about
Speaker 1: like also like don't waste your time, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. If you see he's like a player, like
Speaker 1: you know, you know, he's like one day he's with you,
Speaker 1: and then you call him, he doesn't pick up the phone,
Speaker 1: and he knows. He like there's like like I know,
Speaker 1: something like making up stories be like oh yeah, like
Speaker 1: I'm so sick because he's out in the movies with
Speaker 1: his friends. So he doesn't really value you as you
Speaker 1: know that much. So for him, you are as just
Speaker 1: a fun moment like fun, you know, so then you listen, cool,
Speaker 1: see you later. Hard to get into that guy's mind,
Speaker 1: but I know we have to trust it's actually not
Speaker 1: We're we're very primitive, Like we're very primitive. We're not
Speaker 1: like very complex. You guys are more complex. Girls are
Speaker 1: more complex. You're like overthinking, you're in your head. You
Speaker 1: create that like it's like a moment like I and
Speaker 1: I've noticed that it was like there's like a little
Speaker 1: thought of something. You create this huge story with like
Speaker 1: row to the left road to what if he did this?
Speaker 1: Oh my god. And then it's actually like just because
Speaker 1: my phone was on silence and I was driving and
Speaker 1: I wasn't parking my car in the garage, and that's it. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: don't overthink it. Well, thank you for that. Thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, thank you. Good. Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: I see you too. Hello, Hi, good. I love the
Speaker 1: art behind you. I love it so much. How are
Speaker 1: you doing today. I'm doing great. I'm better now that
Speaker 1: I'm talking to you. Thank you. I feel the same way.
Speaker 1: So I'm supposed to just ask the question, is that
Speaker 1: how we do it? Yeah, ask me anything, not really,
Speaker 1: But because I'm a counselor, I feel like, um, the
Speaker 1: stigma about counseling and therapy is like even deeper when
Speaker 1: it comes to men's health. So my question for you is,
Speaker 1: I guess maybe a little bit selfish for me to
Speaker 1: help connect with men, but what do you think that
Speaker 1: we as counselors can do to kind of bridge that
Speaker 1: gap and and let men know that this is a
Speaker 1: good place for them to be, you know, like maybe
Speaker 1: content to put out there or just kind of ways
Speaker 1: to cater to the the problems that men have so
Speaker 1: that it looks attractive to go to counseling and get
Speaker 1: that help. I'm dunk counseling twice. But I think the
Speaker 1: way it's been done it was very and that was
Speaker 1: like something that when uh, we both were trying to
Speaker 1: save about the marriage, it was like I would say,
Speaker 1: three years ago, oh uh and uh it was just
Speaker 1: done in a very weird way because I wasn't to
Speaker 1: her and uh, I remember I was literally during the day,
Speaker 1: like we did it like twice a week. I had
Speaker 1: to go in the audience, like when there's no like
Speaker 1: there's no audience in the theater, it's just to be quiet,
Speaker 1: like it's an empty theater, it's dark, and my ex
Speaker 1: wife would be in the room with a person, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So it was pre COVID, so
Speaker 1: it felt like it felt like because we're trying to
Speaker 1: figure it out, like we were trying to figure it
Speaker 1: out us, what's happening, you know what I mean. And
Speaker 1: it felt to me that the you know, that person
Speaker 1: was like almost on her side, like they were trying
Speaker 1: to like figure it out me instead of figured out us.
Speaker 1: So I think for me at that moment was very
Speaker 1: unfair because you know, I'm a human too. I have
Speaker 1: my voice, like I wanna, I have my opinion, and
Speaker 1: no one it's perfect. So it's not like you do
Speaker 1: everything right and I do everything wrong. Let's fix me
Speaker 1: for you a lot, right, So to me, it felt
Speaker 1: that I was kind of like I just gave up,
Speaker 1: was like, listen, there's no point doing it because it
Speaker 1: just doesn't work, Like I don't want you to fix
Speaker 1: me because we need to fix us. You know, it's
Speaker 1: it's not you know. So it was harder for me
Speaker 1: to open up, right, let's put it this because I
Speaker 1: felt that was like a very different, different thing. But
Speaker 1: I think for the man, I think it's a good
Speaker 1: thing to be able to share and be like be
Speaker 1: completely vulnerable. But not a lot of guys can't do
Speaker 1: that because we're tough, you know, where the guy like
Speaker 1: where you know, like, but at the same time, we're
Speaker 1: very soft where you know, we have that soft side
Speaker 1: like and I'm sure every single person has, you know,
Speaker 1: like when there's a baby is born, like we're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, there's like you know, we do have that.
Speaker 1: So I think it's it should be just like a
Speaker 1: normal thing just to be like, guys shouldn't be scared,
Speaker 1: to be vulnerable and be open and be just real
Speaker 1: because no one's judging. Really, So it sounds like it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, just knowing that it's a it's about getting
Speaker 1: to know you, you know, more than having to fix you.
Speaker 1: Is that well, I think it's I think a person
Speaker 1: needs to get to the point where he says, like,
Speaker 1: I'm actually ready for therapy. I actually want to go,
Speaker 1: like I need it myself, Like I need to talk
Speaker 1: to someone. But everyone is so different. We're all like
Speaker 1: we're also different, you know what I mean. There's not
Speaker 1: like the same people ever. So I think it's really
Speaker 1: depends on the person. But to actually to talk someone
Speaker 1: of like being hurt and like because I always wanted
Speaker 1: to have that person like a third perspective looking at
Speaker 1: my life, looking at my situation from aside and be
Speaker 1: like this is what you need to do. Because people
Speaker 1: are professional, like you are your professional in your craft,
Speaker 1: like you study all of this and like there's like me,
Speaker 1: I have no clue and you think about it like
Speaker 1: I can teach you about a rundle walk and how
Speaker 1: to tangle, but I can't figure out the problem because
Speaker 1: it's actually depends how you look at it, and they're
Speaker 1: the keys, like their tools to fix it. Right. So
Speaker 1: I think for for God to just be like open
Speaker 1: to too open to help, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: because I think it's important. I think every single person
Speaker 1: needs help. Every single one needs help. But to realize
Speaker 1: that and phase that and deal with that, you have
Speaker 1: to get to that point, I think. So I think
Speaker 1: I feel for me like I'm trying to reach people
Speaker 1: before they get to the point because right now, I mean,
Speaker 1: to be honest, the suicide rate is twice as high
Speaker 1: for men that it is for women. So it's kind
Speaker 1: of like, how do we reach men before they get
Speaker 1: to that, you know, desperation point? You know, how do
Speaker 1: we like kind of get you to want to go
Speaker 1: to counseling before? And you know, I think it's what
Speaker 1: you said before, the tough guy thing. I mean, I
Speaker 1: know that that exists. And the men that I do
Speaker 1: work with, I mean, once I get them in the door,
Speaker 1: we're good, you know, like it's they they love it.
Speaker 1: It's great, you know, being able to be exactly like
Speaker 1: you said, open honest, knowing that I'm a neutral third party.
Speaker 1: I'm literally just here like, whatever your problem is, I'm
Speaker 1: here to help you with your problem. I don't care
Speaker 1: what other people say, but I feel like it's hard
Speaker 1: to try to convey that so that men are looking
Speaker 1: for it and saying, hey, I want to be heard.
Speaker 1: Let me go to a counselor so that I can
Speaker 1: be heard. Right, I mean, it's really hard, It's really hard.
Speaker 1: So Vanessa, thank you for a question. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: All Right, you guys, So that was our last failer
Speaker 1: of Vanessa was flash of talking to her. She was awesome. Um,
Speaker 1: it was a very deep conversation. But we're gonna take
Speaker 1: a little break and when we come back, we're gonna
Speaker 1: do with a cute and so glad. We had a
Speaker 1: bunch of our listeners d MS email us, UM, a
Speaker 1: bunch of questions for you. So are you ready? Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's do it. Let's get to it. Okay. The first
Speaker 1: question is gleb, you give off a very sexy vibe.
Speaker 1: How do you do that? Is there a secret? Is
Speaker 1: that something you learned or we're taught it's just my
Speaker 1: hair flip seem just joking, I mean, sexy vibe? How
Speaker 1: do you know? You know? Why? Don't know? It's just
Speaker 1: first of all, First of all, whoever asked that question?
Speaker 1: I really appreciate that. Thank you, um stop stop stop.
Speaker 1: But I don't know, it's just thanks mom, and that
Speaker 1: I guess, like you know, I always try to like
Speaker 1: look after myself, like I work out and I tried
Speaker 1: to eat healthy, and you know, it's just I think
Speaker 1: sexy is not just the look, but also how like
Speaker 1: how you feel about yourself, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: and just how you like carry yourself. I don't know, Honestly,
Speaker 1: I'm really shy to answer to this question because I
Speaker 1: don't like I'm like, I don't think I'm like sexy.
Speaker 1: But anyone thinks what makes a woman sexy? What attracts
Speaker 1: you the most? And what's the first thing you notice
Speaker 1: what makes the woman sexy? I think it's an I
Speaker 1: think it's an attitude, you know. I think it's at
Speaker 1: the way she cares herself. Um. And also I think
Speaker 1: the conversation, like the intelligent woman and a nice conversation.
Speaker 1: I think it's super sexy. That's like what for me,
Speaker 1: like I would be really attracted to um, smile, eyes, legs.
Speaker 1: When do I introduce my new boyfriend to my kids?
Speaker 1: When do you think it's the right time to do that.
Speaker 1: One is too soon, not just for my kids, but
Speaker 1: for my new boyfriend. Is it overwhelming for the man
Speaker 1: to meet the children? Wow? Okay, So it's funny because
Speaker 1: I went on a date with my current girlfriend. I
Speaker 1: went on a date. It was the fourth of July
Speaker 1: and on the fifth of July, master daughter. But for me,
Speaker 1: as I have already two girls, so it's kind of
Speaker 1: like a normal thing, like she's a single mom, she
Speaker 1: has a daughter, and like the next day went to
Speaker 1: grab some actually pizza. Um, it's I think for kids,
Speaker 1: like it's like it's like like you might be a
Speaker 1: little confused, but like if you explain, now, that's my
Speaker 1: friend and whatever. Here's the thing. I think if it's
Speaker 1: something that you're not sure about and you don't think that,
Speaker 1: oh he's this guy is gonna stick around, like you know,
Speaker 1: maybe it's not very serious or whatever. If you don't,
Speaker 1: if you're not sure, don't do it. If you're sure
Speaker 1: that you know you really like this person, this person
Speaker 1: really likes you and you know he's just a good guy. Um,
Speaker 1: it's okay. And I think it's to actually talk and
Speaker 1: be like super straightforward saying like, oh, I have children,
Speaker 1: Like I have a kid's never hide it ever, because
Speaker 1: then the moment he finds out, like myths later that
Speaker 1: you have a kid, then you'll be like what the ha,
Speaker 1: Like you should have told me that on the first day,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So but now this I
Speaker 1: think everything is like social media. So like if you're
Speaker 1: if he goes on your profile and you have pictures
Speaker 1: with you, don't like he already knows that you have children,
Speaker 1: you know, like he'll he'll be a cool You'll feel
Speaker 1: the you know, you'll feel the energy from me, like
Speaker 1: if he wants to talk to continue talking to because
Speaker 1: he doesn't mind that he likes it that your mom.
Speaker 1: The same thing for a guy too, you know, like
Speaker 1: there are a lot of I mean, forgot maybe it's
Speaker 1: a little different, but for a girl, yeah, I think
Speaker 1: just you'll feel like I think each person individually will
Speaker 1: feel when it's the right time. That's my opinion. What
Speaker 1: are the challenges of dating as a single dad? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, as a single like, I mean, it's just
Speaker 1: kind of scary to be out there and like date
Speaker 1: because you know, you know, like I don't want to
Speaker 1: waste my time and I think it's like you never know.
Speaker 1: It's like a like you go on the date, it's
Speaker 1: like a box of chocolate. Like, you know, I've been
Speaker 1: married for a fifteen years, so I've never like really
Speaker 1: dated until like really recently. Uh and you know, I've
Speaker 1: went on a few dates. And he was like, you
Speaker 1: never know who you're gonna get, Like you remember that
Speaker 1: moving forwards dump like when you have the box of
Speaker 1: chocolate katies and like you pick and you never know
Speaker 1: what's inside. That's exactly what you're getting. Like and then
Speaker 1: I thought, like I was like I went to like
Speaker 1: this expensive restaurant, like and I'm sitting with a person
Speaker 1: and I'm like not having a good time and not
Speaker 1: because there's something wrong with her, like she's beautiful and whatever,
Speaker 1: but is there's no connection you know what? Even like
Speaker 1: why am I wasting my time? Like you know, I
Speaker 1: could have been home with kids and you know, uh,
Speaker 1: be with them and spend time with them. So like
Speaker 1: there were moments like I kind of dated, dated, dated,
Speaker 1: and then I stopped for like two months and like
Speaker 1: I didn't do anything, you know what I mean, because
Speaker 1: I felt like such a waste of time and it's
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's but at the same time, you
Speaker 1: have to try otherwise you will never find out, do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So it's like, yeah, so
Speaker 1: it's a really deep question, guys. Really, I have no
Speaker 1: idea how I answer it. Is when should you become
Speaker 1: Instagram official? Do you guys even care about being Instagram official?
Speaker 1: I think when you know, it's like when you know
Speaker 1: it's right, you know it's right, you know. And I
Speaker 1: don't remember exactly at the time, but I was always
Speaker 1: kind of like, you know, it's like I'm dating this girl,
Speaker 1: like you know, like and it's cool. So like there's
Speaker 1: nothing like I don't need to hide anything, do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like why would I want to hide?
Speaker 1: Like that's my life, you know, And that's like that's
Speaker 1: my Instagram, that's my social media. I can both whatever
Speaker 1: I want there, so and that's part of my life.
Speaker 1: And you know, I just don't remember. It was like
Speaker 1: a few months in, I guess something like that. Everyone
Speaker 1: asks why do men cheat? But what do you really
Speaker 1: think is a boredom with your current partner or are
Speaker 1: there signs that things with your current wife or girlfriend
Speaker 1: are over? Well? I think whoever thinks that everyone cheats
Speaker 1: is wrong. Not everyone cheats. Uh, And again, cheating might
Speaker 1: be a very different in a very different form. It
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily have to be like, uh, go and sleep
Speaker 1: with someone you know. It could be you know, a connection,
Speaker 1: It could be an attraction, it could be thoughts, it
Speaker 1: could be something else, you know, and I guess, I guess.
Speaker 1: It's like it's a hard relationship, was a really hard
Speaker 1: work because you always need to be open and always
Speaker 1: needs to not get sucked into like daily routine, especially
Speaker 1: like when the young especially happens a lot like when
Speaker 1: the young parents when they're like when there's just a
Speaker 1: newborn baby, Like wife is at home, she's going on
Speaker 1: like after pregnancy depression. He's working hours at work, he
Speaker 1: comes back home. Everything is just a mass. There's like
Speaker 1: diapers everywhere, and like he's like, oh my god. So
Speaker 1: besides that, you have to both of you need to
Speaker 1: like find it's kind and spend time together and just
Speaker 1: dedicate that time to each other and kind of almost
Speaker 1: like take that step back how you were when you've
Speaker 1: met two you know, to have that because then in
Speaker 1: the moment you lose and you know, she might like
Speaker 1: the guy might not be because you know, like it's hard,
Speaker 1: like especially with kids, like you have one life, you
Speaker 1: like have this like period of your dating dating dating
Speaker 1: that you get engaged, super excited, you're in love, you're
Speaker 1: in love, and then you get buried. Like there's a
Speaker 1: huge party, you know, on holiday, everything is amazing. That
Speaker 1: you get pregnant and then nine months and there's a
Speaker 1: baby and this whole world that you had before crashes.
Speaker 1: But then you still work through, Like I think, I mean,
Speaker 1: this came super bad, Like it's not doesn't crash. It's
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing to everybody. But what the baby comes
Speaker 1: with it, Like, it's a lot of it's a lot
Speaker 1: of work. And if you don't have help like in
Speaker 1: nanny or grandparents or something, it's really hard. So I
Speaker 1: think just be like always open with the and if
Speaker 1: you don't if you don't have something, if you're not
Speaker 1: satisfied with something like so coovide, you know, and then
Speaker 1: figure it out and if it doesn't work, don't waste
Speaker 1: your time. If it doesn't work, don't waste your time
Speaker 1: because you have your only one life that has given
Speaker 1: to you and it's so precious for you, and don't
Speaker 1: do it for the kids. Does things together for the kids,
Speaker 1: because kids gonna grow up, they're gonna leave, and they're
Speaker 1: gonna be even happier if the parents are happening, because
Speaker 1: you know, we create our own happens. Okay, last question
Speaker 1: for you. Do you think men change or are you
Speaker 1: essentially the same guy you were in high school? And
Speaker 1: if you have changed? How I think every single person
Speaker 1: changes with age, with time, we all change. We all
Speaker 1: have different values in life. We all learned, we become wiser,
Speaker 1: we become you know, more experienced in life. We we
Speaker 1: deal the situations differently. How like you know, different situations.
Speaker 1: When you were in college, you do situation the same
Speaker 1: situation that you know in one way, and now you
Speaker 1: would do it a different way just because you're already
Speaker 1: more experience in life. I think we're all changed. Is
Speaker 1: just the word that you need to do on yourself. Uh,
Speaker 1: that is important, and but you have to really go
Speaker 1: with your gut feeling which you really want. And that's
Speaker 1: I think really important for every single person. Like if
Speaker 1: you lie to yourself and doing something that you really
Speaker 1: don't want to do, eventually, it's not gonna work, you know,
Speaker 1: So if you don't feel it, just don't do it.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, You guys, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: The time is up, I gotta go, but thank you
Speaker 1: for listening. I had a blast. It was a lot
Speaker 1: of fun talking to you, answering all your questions. Uh.
Speaker 1: You can find me on Instagram, webs of Chenko Official,
Speaker 1: on Twitter, lebt under Sports of Chenko UM and also
Speaker 1: come see me on tour. Were you going on tour? UM?
Speaker 1: Starting Jor the seventh in Richmond, Virginia and we're going
Speaker 1: all the way through March twenty seventh of March, the
Speaker 1: last shows in California. So UM. Anyway, lots of love.
Speaker 1: I had a blasting to thank you for having me,
Speaker 1: thanks for listening to How Men Think, and I heart Radio.
Speaker 1: London Audio Production