1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This 2 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:08,880 Speaker 1: is how men thick and I heard radio podcast. Hey guys, 3 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,719 Speaker 1: I'm lips up Chenko. You know me as a professional 4 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: danswering boreographer danswer with the stars and I am stuper 5 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:20,280 Speaker 1: happy to co post and be a guest host. Um 6 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:24,600 Speaker 1: on how men think? I'm gonna be answering all your 7 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 1: questions and the the main like, the fascinating question is 8 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:34,840 Speaker 1: that how men think? So let's get started. Producers put 9 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 1: me in the hot steed and I have to answer 10 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 1: all of these eleven questions that are in front of me, 11 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:44,519 Speaker 1: and let's start a question number one? What are you 12 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,479 Speaker 1: known for? Tell us about yourself what I'm known for. 13 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm hot Russian professional board dancer and dancer 14 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: with the stars. That's what I'm known for. But I'm 15 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 1: also a girl that I have two beautiful daughters living 16 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:03,160 Speaker 1: just turned eleven yesterday actually, and I have a lot 17 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:07,319 Speaker 1: who's four years old. Um, and you know my life 18 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,199 Speaker 1: is around them and dance and that's what I've pretty 19 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:14,399 Speaker 1: much like known for. And um yeah, who are you 20 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 1: in your personal life? Who am I in my personal life? Oh? 21 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 1: What does it mean? Mean? Like I don't even know 22 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 1: who are you in the person? Like I think, um, 23 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:32,199 Speaker 1: you know I am, you know, I'm a dad. Number one. 24 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:36,640 Speaker 1: I think I'm I've been. I'm dreaven always to be 25 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 1: a better person every day. I come from nothing. Uh 26 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:44,480 Speaker 1: and I'm in Hollywood living literally in American dream Like 27 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 1: if you would like it would have more time, like 28 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,280 Speaker 1: I would tell you, like my whole life story, which 29 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 1: is I think it's pretty crazy, but um yeah, I 30 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 1: just I'm just just a regular normal guy with two 31 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: kids saying go and you know, trying to trying to 32 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: teach celebrities to chat to walk. What three TV shows 33 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 1: are you binge watching right now? That's a good one, Um, 34 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 1: the three D TV shows? So I would say number one. 35 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 1: I'm still like it's an older show, but I think 36 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: like if someone like I haven't watched it as the 37 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:24,639 Speaker 1: money has, I'm obsessed with the show. I think it's 38 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 1: an incredible show. The recent one that I just watched 39 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: is with Game also Super Sick, Like I love that show. 40 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:37,359 Speaker 1: And the one that I just started watching is The Made. 41 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 1: I think it's like a pretty like a intense show 42 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 1: that kind of like actually, you know, see what's going 43 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,239 Speaker 1: on with like people with other people like where they're 44 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 1: going through. You know what I mean is it's like 45 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,960 Speaker 1: it's a really beautiful shot at and produced. I think 46 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:56,200 Speaker 1: it's a really good show. What is your favorite food? 47 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:05,680 Speaker 1: What's my favorite food? What's my favorite food? I think pizza. 48 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:10,959 Speaker 1: I love pizza like I love any kind of pizza. 49 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:15,560 Speaker 1: I think I can eat pizza every day. Um yeah, 50 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 1: that's like my favorite food. I know it's really bad. 51 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,360 Speaker 1: It's like super healthy. And I supposed to represent like 52 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 1: a health and wellness and I was like pizza, you know, 53 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:31,399 Speaker 1: so yeah, I love pizza. Tell us about your career. Okay, 54 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 1: my career. Um, look, my career is pretty crazy. I 55 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,000 Speaker 1: you know, I grew up a mom originally from Moscow, Russia. 56 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 1: Grew up with mom and dad, and they kind of 57 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 1: put me in the dance gas and I started, you know, dancing, 58 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 1: and by the age of thirteen fourteen, I knew it 59 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:56,720 Speaker 1: was gonna be my career. Like in my culture is 60 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,080 Speaker 1: like if you do something for a specially for parents, 61 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: and they probably put me in dance colleges because they 62 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,160 Speaker 1: wanted to keep me off the streets and like you know, 63 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 1: for kids to do something, but then they push you. 64 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: They push you so hard that it becomes your you know, 65 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:14,040 Speaker 1: like it becomes you know, something that you do, and 66 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,840 Speaker 1: then you have to do it great and you have 67 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 1: to put all your energy into it. And I danced 68 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 1: with all my life and then then moved to different 69 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 1: country a lot via I dance there with a girl 70 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,480 Speaker 1: represent the country for a couple of years. Uh. Came 71 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: back to Russian kind of at the age of seventeen eighteen, 72 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,360 Speaker 1: I realized I was like, I don't really want to 73 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 1: do dance anymore, Like there's like, you know, I only 74 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 1: spend money because there's no like price, uh money for 75 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: the competitions, and that was like a Russian champion at 76 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 1: that time, Like you always have to travel on your 77 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 1: with your own expand you have to take lessons, you 78 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: have to buy coustomes, buy shoes, so it becomes like 79 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:56,920 Speaker 1: an expensive hobby. So it doesn't give you unless you teach. 80 00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:59,919 Speaker 1: But and with teaching, like in Russia, like you can 81 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: to really make anything. So I was like, I gotta 82 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 1: do something. So I became a fitness dance fitness instructor 83 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,280 Speaker 1: in one of the fitness centers in Moscow, and one 84 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:12,520 Speaker 1: um kind of mine and she came up to me 85 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 1: after the class. She was like, have you ever tried modeling? 86 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:18,280 Speaker 1: And I was like, no, never tried modeling. She was like, 87 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 1: I'm gonna take you to model agency. So she brought 88 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:26,400 Speaker 1: me to model agency. I uh, I started doing modeling 89 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 1: and became like super successful. Like I was like on 90 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 1: every cover of the magazine in Russian doing music videos 91 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: and with this, and like I was like, oh my god, 92 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,480 Speaker 1: like I'm gonna be the next breath pit. But for 93 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 1: me to become an ex breath pit, I have to 94 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 1: move to America, you know what I mean. So I 95 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 1: was like great, So I moved to America and I 96 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 1: lived in New York for about three years. I did uh, 97 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,960 Speaker 1: I did modeling, and I kind of keep myself going. 98 00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 1: I was doing UM still talking they studio UM, and 99 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,279 Speaker 1: that's actually the time when dance start. As you just 100 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:08,120 Speaker 1: started to remember in on the time score that they 101 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:11,840 Speaker 1: build this huge glass box where me and my partner 102 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: were like promoting this we'll start of this new brand 103 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: new TV show where UM coming up. What's your biggest 104 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:24,360 Speaker 1: fear in life? Heights? I'm afraid of heights. I'm like 105 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 1: super scared of heights. What makes you the most happy. 106 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 1: I think just the time with family and kids, and 107 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:37,279 Speaker 1: like what makes me most happy is the positive people, 108 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: the energy, you know, like every person has its own energy, 109 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:45,440 Speaker 1: and you know, I just love being around good people 110 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: with good energy and interrupt and just have this good 111 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:53,680 Speaker 1: vibe that look like makes me super happy. What's your 112 00:06:53,680 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: biggest pet? Peeve um? I'm like I have like a 113 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 1: major O C D. Like I hate when someone washes 114 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 1: the dishes and they don't like wipe the sink around, 115 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,720 Speaker 1: like if they if I could see like splashes of 116 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 1: water around the sink, that frets me out, like I 117 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 1: can't do it, and here like I can't like it. 118 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:18,040 Speaker 1: That's like Scott now like like if I stay here 119 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:25,440 Speaker 1: on the floor, was like, what is your ideal Saturday morning? 120 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 1: Oh my god, what's my ideal Saturday morning? Listen? Simple 121 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 1: sipping a champagne on the boat and central pain. I've 122 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 1: never done this, but that will be ideal on Saturday morning. 123 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,680 Speaker 1: Are you more of the athlete or the armchair quarterback? 124 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 1: I'm more than I'm more an athlete. I'm super active. Yeah. 125 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 1: And lastly, what keeps you motivated? What keeps you motivated? 126 00:07:54,680 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 1: Never never being satisfied with with it's always like it's 127 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:08,560 Speaker 1: weird because and that's like something that I think it's 128 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:13,280 Speaker 1: either um like uh like a cultural thing or the 129 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 1: way we've been like I've been brought up. It's like 130 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: it's not being negative, but it's not being satisfied hundred 131 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,600 Speaker 1: percent because so you think like, oh you can like 132 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,760 Speaker 1: I always can do better, right, so like you can 133 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: do better than like you could have like even like 134 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 1: sometimes like let's simple example, right, like we we do 135 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,679 Speaker 1: with dance performing dance right, and dance goes great, We've 136 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 1: got great scores on the show or something, but then 137 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:39,080 Speaker 1: I look at the video like and I'm never ever 138 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:43,079 Speaker 1: satisfied like, oh, that was awesome, you know, Like I 139 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,559 Speaker 1: told myself to do that because I'm working with someone 140 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 1: who's never danced before. So I have to be positive 141 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 1: and be like, oh that was great, you know, like 142 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,199 Speaker 1: actually when I look at it, even for myself, I'm 143 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 1: like this one could have been like this one could 144 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:58,480 Speaker 1: have been better. So that keeps you motivated just to 145 00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 1: be better in junior, you know what I mean, Like 146 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 1: with everything I do. Alright, guys, so we're gonna take 147 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 1: a quick break and when we come back. I'm gonna 148 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 1: answer all your questions. Hey guys, and Ashley from the 149 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:17,079 Speaker 1: Almost Famous podcast, It's that time of year where drama 150 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 1: fills the air. The Bachelor is back with an all 151 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:24,520 Speaker 1: new season premiering January three. There's a new host, Jesse Palmer, 152 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:28,559 Speaker 1: and a brand new Bachelor, Clayton. Clayton is a Midwest 153 00:09:28,559 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 1: boy that has that great smile, nice teeth, and he's 154 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 1: really tall as let's call it what it is, he's 155 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:39,640 Speaker 1: a beefcake. Okay, Well, Clayton seems to be a good 156 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:43,840 Speaker 1: guy though, and he can't wait to find love, get married, 157 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:47,080 Speaker 1: and have kids. And he believes more than anything that 158 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 1: his future wife is on this show. It sounds like 159 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 1: a fairy tale but also a bit of an emotional 160 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 1: world coaster, because Clayton tells three different women he's falling 161 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 1: in love with him. Technically, he told one, I couldn't 162 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 1: be more sure that I'm falling in love with you, 163 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:07,080 Speaker 1: and another one, I'm falling in love with you, and 164 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 1: the third one, I am in love with you. You 165 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,840 Speaker 1: don't miss a thing. It's your years of over analyzing 166 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 1: everything that guys say. But his heart is in the 167 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 1: right place. But other parts of him as we find 168 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 1: out what he admits to two different women that he 169 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:27,640 Speaker 1: was intimate with both of them. Yeah, I don't think 170 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,840 Speaker 1: it's gonna go over well, we'll be breaking down at 171 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,680 Speaker 1: all on the almost famous podcast Ben is Married Now 172 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 1: Well Ashley's a mom will change our opinions of what 173 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:41,120 Speaker 1: we think is acceptable single behavior. Good question find out 174 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 1: on the almost Famous podcast on our Heart Radio and 175 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts. Al Right, guys, let's get 176 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:58,880 Speaker 1: to our first caller and uh yeah, here we go. Hi. 177 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 1: My question would be, Um, do men ever learn to 178 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 1: communicate better on their own? To communicate that? I think, yeah, 179 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:12,880 Speaker 1: hundred percent. I think it's all about self improvement and 180 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 1: if he I think, for it depends on the person again, 181 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 1: but for me personally, I think over the years, like 182 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:24,240 Speaker 1: I've learned a lot of things, you know, and it's 183 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 1: not you know, you want to improve yourself and just 184 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:31,120 Speaker 1: be better for the person that you're with, you know 185 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 1: what I mean. I think it's like super important, um, 186 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 1: not just to just to communicate, you know, and listen, 187 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:43,680 Speaker 1: like always try to like listen that you know, whoever 188 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 1: is in front of you trying to tell you something. 189 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: You know, um, and let the person speak and like 190 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:54,520 Speaker 1: try to like understand, not like stand like be stubborn 191 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 1: like no, no, like you know, but like try to 192 00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:00,600 Speaker 1: understand what this person is trying to tell you, because 193 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:05,320 Speaker 1: it's you know, it's important to hear. It's important to hear, 194 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 1: and it's important to listen. That's how you can, you know, 195 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:14,200 Speaker 1: improve yourself otherwise to just being like super closed off. 196 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 1: And you know what do you think, Emma, you agree 197 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:23,480 Speaker 1: with me? Yeah? But does that come in part with 198 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 1: growing with your partner? Do you think like a man 199 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,720 Speaker 1: could understand how to communicate with a girl better without 200 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:38,720 Speaker 1: having their partner instruct them or get criticism from them. Well, 201 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 1: there's the situations, right, there's situations like give me an example, right, 202 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:49,679 Speaker 1: let's stay with dating, right, and you want to go 203 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:54,080 Speaker 1: somewhere for Christmas and I don't want to go somewhere 204 00:12:54,080 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 1: for Christmas? Right, So what do we do talk about exactly? 205 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,840 Speaker 1: We talk about it, and we decide and let listen, 206 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 1: you tell them your opinion why you want to go there. 207 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,240 Speaker 1: Like they'll be like, listen, maybe we'll go to you know, 208 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:15,200 Speaker 1: to a lake or something, or go to Mexico or 209 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 1: something like that. So it's it's all about the conversation. 210 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,680 Speaker 1: I think people need to have a conversation and be 211 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 1: able to hear each other, do you know what I mean? 212 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 1: So like putting yourself on that person's place and be like, well, 213 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,200 Speaker 1: I understand where they come up, unless there's like a 214 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 1: ridiculous like you know, so, I mean that makes sense. 215 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:41,160 Speaker 1: I guess it also depends on the stage of where 216 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,440 Speaker 1: you are in a relationship. If you guys are together 217 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:48,439 Speaker 1: or just beginning to talk, well, I think it doesn't matter. 218 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:51,040 Speaker 1: I think if you if you're married for fifteen years 219 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,360 Speaker 1: or you just start dating. Do you know what I mean? 220 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,679 Speaker 1: It's it's always gonna be something like, but it's just 221 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 1: a different like how you're saying. It's a different stage 222 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 1: of the conversation, do you know what I mean? But 223 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,440 Speaker 1: there's always that you have to always me. If you 224 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:07,600 Speaker 1: don't like something, tell me and I'll be like no, no, no, 225 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:11,720 Speaker 1: like or I'll be like okay, cool, yeah, like okay, 226 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:15,920 Speaker 1: I'll whatever. But thanks for calling. I appreciate your good question. 227 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 1: Thank you appreci All right, here we go the next color. Hannah. Hi, Um, 228 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 1: my question is I'm wondering if it is considered a 229 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:30,160 Speaker 1: red flag if you talk about an ex boyfriend or 230 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 1: girlfriend on a first date. I mean, it depends how 231 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,200 Speaker 1: you talk about it, do you know what I mean? Like, 232 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:47,680 Speaker 1: so I went on a date, uh, and I actually 233 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 1: had a conversation with the girl who I'm actually seeing 234 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 1: now on the first day. We talked about my action. 235 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 1: I've been married for fifteen years, but I'm we're super 236 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 1: cool now have to divorce. But I think it's not 237 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:07,480 Speaker 1: It depends on if you're positive and you're genuinely nice 238 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,960 Speaker 1: person and you're like, it's not like unless you're like 239 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,600 Speaker 1: shooting on someone, then that would be like, oh, that's 240 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 1: so weird. Like if he talks about her like that, 241 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 1: like what he's going to talk about me or something 242 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 1: like that, that's you know. I think it depends on 243 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:24,600 Speaker 1: the person really, But what do you think I think? 244 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,160 Speaker 1: I mean, I think I've been on dates in the 245 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,200 Speaker 1: past where they ask if I've been in relationships before, 246 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:33,520 Speaker 1: and I've always been hesitant to answer yes or no 247 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 1: because I don't want them to think I'm talking about 248 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:39,320 Speaker 1: my ex boyfriend too much. I tell you this straight on. 249 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 1: You gotta be you gotta be straightforward, You've gotta be honest. 250 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:45,360 Speaker 1: And if he's okay to that, he's cool because then 251 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:47,360 Speaker 1: you can take it to the next level or whatever. 252 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 1: But if you're like trying to hide something or not 253 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,840 Speaker 1: to say something or choose the words how you say, 254 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 1: that's already not like a real thing because you're trying 255 00:15:55,960 --> 00:16:00,200 Speaker 1: to like cater like to someone who you're know I 256 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,560 Speaker 1: really are you know what I mean? You always have 257 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 1: to be yourself and just be like, Yo, I've been 258 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:10,640 Speaker 1: on twenty five thousand dates did not work. Hopefully you're 259 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:14,680 Speaker 1: the one because I like or something. Just be super 260 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 1: cool yeah, and be like I think personally, you know 261 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,280 Speaker 1: what I mean, if we're going the date and they'll 262 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:25,160 Speaker 1: be like okay, Hannah, how many relationships serious relationships have 263 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:30,720 Speaker 1: you had in the past. I'm asking like four four 264 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 1: How that was the last relationship? How long was your 265 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:38,760 Speaker 1: last relationship? Six months? Six months? Why would you guys 266 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 1: break up? Just what some red flags? I think on 267 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,280 Speaker 1: his part and maybe my part, we just weren't a 268 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:49,480 Speaker 1: good match. Well, you see, for me, if I would 269 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,720 Speaker 1: be on the date with you, that's not like a 270 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,280 Speaker 1: straightforward answer, Like I know, it's there's a lot of 271 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 1: personal stuff, but eventually, like I would want to know 272 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 1: what was the red flags, because then me coming from 273 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:05,359 Speaker 1: like a genue, like a good you know, like a good, 274 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,159 Speaker 1: like a like a you know what I mean, like 275 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:12,400 Speaker 1: being me like I would wanna maybe I don't make 276 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,800 Speaker 1: those kind of mistakes or something like that, Like there's 277 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:21,119 Speaker 1: always you know, just honest, so they know, because like 278 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 1: life is too short. Why do I want to waste 279 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 1: now with someone that is not telling me the truth 280 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,360 Speaker 1: of trying to be who not they're not really are 281 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:36,439 Speaker 1: or whatever, because then it's like, you know, there's no point. No, 282 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:40,080 Speaker 1: that's that's great advice. I'm definitely gonna gonna remember that. 283 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,640 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Thank you, thanks for a question. 284 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:50,280 Speaker 1: Have a nice day you too. We got the next question. Hi, 285 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:54,200 Speaker 1: Hi tomorrow. It's so good to me. You nice to me. 286 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:58,520 Speaker 1: It's too Um well i'll jump into my question. I 287 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,040 Speaker 1: don't know how much time I have, so I'll get 288 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:06,479 Speaker 1: right in. Uh dating, of course. Um, it's all about dating. 289 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:10,240 Speaker 1: The older I get, the harder it is, the more 290 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:14,400 Speaker 1: I'm confused at how forward I should be with men, 291 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 1: especially on a first date. So I'd love your take 292 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:24,280 Speaker 1: on how much you think I guess women should put 293 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:27,400 Speaker 1: out there with what their needs and wants in a partner, 294 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:32,040 Speaker 1: especially on the first date or two, right, So I 295 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:35,400 Speaker 1: think it really depends on the person. So do you 296 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,480 Speaker 1: I want to go and have nice dinner in the 297 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,479 Speaker 1: conversation with someone, or do you want to go and 298 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,920 Speaker 1: get play? Do you want to have a good time 299 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,920 Speaker 1: and go to a movie? And because well, because I'm 300 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,560 Speaker 1: just saying how it is, you know, we're all humans. 301 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:51,960 Speaker 1: We'll all want to have sex, we all want to eat, 302 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,639 Speaker 1: the world all want to sleep, you know, so like 303 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 1: what's your intention? I think if you're like stupid, straightforward, 304 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 1: then they're like, yo, you don't want to do that 305 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,080 Speaker 1: because that will be like, oh my god, like does 306 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,080 Speaker 1: she do that with every single guy that she goes 307 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:10,440 Speaker 1: on a date with. But then at the same time, 308 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:14,639 Speaker 1: they're like there's always a moment during that evening or 309 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:18,320 Speaker 1: dinner over drinks where you kind of like you feel 310 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:23,320 Speaker 1: that moment where like that's the time where I'm either 311 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,480 Speaker 1: like taking it to a different like level if you again, 312 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 1: if you like that, right, but a hundred percent agree 313 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,080 Speaker 1: with you, Like it's so freaking hard when you get 314 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:38,880 Speaker 1: older to like to because eventually it's not about like 315 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:41,680 Speaker 1: and I think I'm just speaking for myself, I don't 316 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,760 Speaker 1: know how other guys like, they're different, Like some of 317 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:48,600 Speaker 1: my friends are like stay single, you know, like have 318 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,399 Speaker 1: like you know, blah blah blah, Like you know, do 319 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:55,080 Speaker 1: you think? And for me, it's not about this. It's 320 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:56,919 Speaker 1: all about the good vibes. Like if I have a 321 00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:00,840 Speaker 1: good vibe with the person and like we're just you know, 322 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,399 Speaker 1: chilling and it's all like really really connected, that's a 323 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:07,879 Speaker 1: very different so and like the sex is just becomes 324 00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 1: an addition to that, right, But I think, yeah, again, 325 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:17,320 Speaker 1: it's what you want. What do you want? Well, I mean, 326 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:22,040 Speaker 1: everyone tells me to stay single, so I'm like, but 327 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,199 Speaker 1: as I'm dating, I'm like, this is fun and I 328 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 1: exactly like you said, I want to be able to 329 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,480 Speaker 1: um enjoy it and have a friendship and see where 330 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,879 Speaker 1: that leads. But then I'm also thinking, okay, do I 331 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:39,359 Speaker 1: tell them I actually want to see how far this goes. 332 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:43,920 Speaker 1: I'm looking for a life partner. So does that scare 333 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 1: the person at the get go? Um? You know it's not. 334 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 1: I think depends what It depends what this person wants. 335 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 1: You know, this person wants just to have fun, and 336 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,400 Speaker 1: you'll be like, Okay, cool. We can have fun, right, 337 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:03,240 Speaker 1: but then you know, yeah, yeah, then it's not meant today. Yeah, 338 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,119 Speaker 1: just take it, take take a step by step, you 339 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,160 Speaker 1: know what I mean. And but always always think about 340 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:14,000 Speaker 1: like also like don't waste your time, you know what 341 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 1: I mean. If you see he's like a player, like 342 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:19,240 Speaker 1: you know, you know, he's like one day he's with you, 343 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,119 Speaker 1: and then you call him, he doesn't pick up the phone, 344 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,439 Speaker 1: and he knows. He like there's like like I know, 345 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:26,879 Speaker 1: something like making up stories be like oh yeah, like 346 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 1: I'm so sick because he's out in the movies with 347 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:33,520 Speaker 1: his friends. So he doesn't really value you as you 348 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 1: know that much. So for him, you are as just 349 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:41,159 Speaker 1: a fun moment like fun, you know, so then you listen, cool, 350 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,000 Speaker 1: see you later. Hard to get into that guy's mind, 351 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,160 Speaker 1: but I know we have to trust it's actually not 352 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:51,080 Speaker 1: We're we're very primitive, Like we're very primitive. We're not 353 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:55,320 Speaker 1: like very complex. You guys are more complex. Girls are 354 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:58,720 Speaker 1: more complex. You're like overthinking, you're in your head. You 355 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:02,159 Speaker 1: create that like it's like a moment like I and 356 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,439 Speaker 1: I've noticed that it was like there's like a little 357 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:08,280 Speaker 1: thought of something. You create this huge story with like 358 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,720 Speaker 1: row to the left road to what if he did this? 359 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:16,720 Speaker 1: Oh my god. And then it's actually like just because 360 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,520 Speaker 1: my phone was on silence and I was driving and 361 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:24,800 Speaker 1: I wasn't parking my car in the garage, and that's it. Yeah, yeah, 362 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:29,159 Speaker 1: don't overthink it. Well, thank you for that. Thank you, 363 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, thank you. Good. Okay, all right, 364 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 1: I see you too. Hello, Hi, good. I love the 365 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:45,760 Speaker 1: art behind you. I love it so much. How are 366 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:50,600 Speaker 1: you doing today. I'm doing great. I'm better now that 367 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:54,040 Speaker 1: I'm talking to you. Thank you. I feel the same way. 368 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,720 Speaker 1: So I'm supposed to just ask the question, is that 369 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:01,879 Speaker 1: how we do it? Yeah, ask me anything, not really, 370 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:07,119 Speaker 1: But because I'm a counselor, I feel like, um, the 371 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 1: stigma about counseling and therapy is like even deeper when 372 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:15,479 Speaker 1: it comes to men's health. So my question for you is, 373 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,359 Speaker 1: I guess maybe a little bit selfish for me to 374 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,000 Speaker 1: help connect with men, but what do you think that 375 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,119 Speaker 1: we as counselors can do to kind of bridge that 376 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,399 Speaker 1: gap and and let men know that this is a 377 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,960 Speaker 1: good place for them to be, you know, like maybe 378 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,199 Speaker 1: content to put out there or just kind of ways 379 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:36,120 Speaker 1: to cater to the the problems that men have so 380 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:39,720 Speaker 1: that it looks attractive to go to counseling and get 381 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:49,399 Speaker 1: that help. I'm dunk counseling twice. But I think the 382 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,399 Speaker 1: way it's been done it was very and that was 383 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:56,000 Speaker 1: like something that when uh, we both were trying to 384 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 1: save about the marriage, it was like I would say, 385 00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:03,679 Speaker 1: three years ago, oh uh and uh it was just 386 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,480 Speaker 1: done in a very weird way because I wasn't to 387 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:11,040 Speaker 1: her and uh, I remember I was literally during the day, 388 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:14,200 Speaker 1: like we did it like twice a week. I had 389 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,760 Speaker 1: to go in the audience, like when there's no like 390 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,080 Speaker 1: there's no audience in the theater, it's just to be quiet, 391 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 1: like it's an empty theater, it's dark, and my ex 392 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:26,440 Speaker 1: wife would be in the room with a person, you 393 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,719 Speaker 1: know what I mean. So it was pre COVID, so 394 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:33,119 Speaker 1: it felt like it felt like because we're trying to 395 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:34,560 Speaker 1: figure it out, like we were trying to figure it 396 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,199 Speaker 1: out us, what's happening, you know what I mean. And 397 00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:42,480 Speaker 1: it felt to me that the you know, that person 398 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,920 Speaker 1: was like almost on her side, like they were trying 399 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,960 Speaker 1: to like figure it out me instead of figured out us. 400 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,680 Speaker 1: So I think for me at that moment was very 401 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 1: unfair because you know, I'm a human too. I have 402 00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:59,160 Speaker 1: my voice, like I wanna, I have my opinion, and 403 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,520 Speaker 1: no one it's perfect. So it's not like you do 404 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 1: everything right and I do everything wrong. Let's fix me 405 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:10,119 Speaker 1: for you a lot, right, So to me, it felt 406 00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:11,960 Speaker 1: that I was kind of like I just gave up, 407 00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,240 Speaker 1: was like, listen, there's no point doing it because it 408 00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:16,760 Speaker 1: just doesn't work, Like I don't want you to fix 409 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:20,160 Speaker 1: me because we need to fix us. You know, it's 410 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:24,080 Speaker 1: it's not you know. So it was harder for me 411 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,560 Speaker 1: to open up, right, let's put it this because I 412 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:31,200 Speaker 1: felt that was like a very different, different thing. But 413 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:34,080 Speaker 1: I think for the man, I think it's a good 414 00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:39,600 Speaker 1: thing to be able to share and be like be 415 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,680 Speaker 1: completely vulnerable. But not a lot of guys can't do 416 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,240 Speaker 1: that because we're tough, you know, where the guy like 417 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:49,760 Speaker 1: where you know, like, but at the same time, we're 418 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,879 Speaker 1: very soft where you know, we have that soft side 419 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,560 Speaker 1: like and I'm sure every single person has, you know, 420 00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,119 Speaker 1: like when there's a baby is born, like we're like, 421 00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:01,040 Speaker 1: oh my god, there's like you know, we do have that. 422 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,800 Speaker 1: So I think it's it should be just like a 423 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:07,560 Speaker 1: normal thing just to be like, guys shouldn't be scared, 424 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:12,879 Speaker 1: to be vulnerable and be open and be just real 425 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,040 Speaker 1: because no one's judging. Really, So it sounds like it's like, 426 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,840 Speaker 1: you know, just knowing that it's a it's about getting 427 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,880 Speaker 1: to know you, you know, more than having to fix you. 428 00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 1: Is that well, I think it's I think a person 429 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,440 Speaker 1: needs to get to the point where he says, like, 430 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,280 Speaker 1: I'm actually ready for therapy. I actually want to go, 431 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:40,160 Speaker 1: like I need it myself, Like I need to talk 432 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:43,760 Speaker 1: to someone. But everyone is so different. We're all like 433 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,440 Speaker 1: we're also different, you know what I mean. There's not 434 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:50,040 Speaker 1: like the same people ever. So I think it's really 435 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,919 Speaker 1: depends on the person. But to actually to talk someone 436 00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 1: of like being hurt and like because I always wanted 437 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:03,040 Speaker 1: to have that person like a third perspective looking at 438 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,879 Speaker 1: my life, looking at my situation from aside and be 439 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:10,000 Speaker 1: like this is what you need to do. Because people 440 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,960 Speaker 1: are professional, like you are your professional in your craft, 441 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,440 Speaker 1: like you study all of this and like there's like me, 442 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,879 Speaker 1: I have no clue and you think about it like 443 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,000 Speaker 1: I can teach you about a rundle walk and how 444 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:25,679 Speaker 1: to tangle, but I can't figure out the problem because 445 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,440 Speaker 1: it's actually depends how you look at it, and they're 446 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:32,360 Speaker 1: the keys, like their tools to fix it. Right. So 447 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 1: I think for for God to just be like open 448 00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:40,920 Speaker 1: to too open to help, you know what I mean, 449 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,720 Speaker 1: because I think it's important. I think every single person 450 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:48,720 Speaker 1: needs help. Every single one needs help. But to realize 451 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:52,120 Speaker 1: that and phase that and deal with that, you have 452 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:58,520 Speaker 1: to get to that point, I think. So I think 453 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,639 Speaker 1: I feel for me like I'm trying to reach people 454 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,760 Speaker 1: before they get to the point because right now, I mean, 455 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:08,480 Speaker 1: to be honest, the suicide rate is twice as high 456 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,520 Speaker 1: for men that it is for women. So it's kind 457 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:13,920 Speaker 1: of like, how do we reach men before they get 458 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:17,040 Speaker 1: to that, you know, desperation point? You know, how do 459 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:20,720 Speaker 1: we like kind of get you to want to go 460 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,720 Speaker 1: to counseling before? And you know, I think it's what 461 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,320 Speaker 1: you said before, the tough guy thing. I mean, I 462 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,439 Speaker 1: know that that exists. And the men that I do 463 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:32,400 Speaker 1: work with, I mean, once I get them in the door, 464 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:36,040 Speaker 1: we're good, you know, like it's they they love it. 465 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,640 Speaker 1: It's great, you know, being able to be exactly like 466 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:41,600 Speaker 1: you said, open honest, knowing that I'm a neutral third party. 467 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,200 Speaker 1: I'm literally just here like, whatever your problem is, I'm 468 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:47,200 Speaker 1: here to help you with your problem. I don't care 469 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:50,680 Speaker 1: what other people say, but I feel like it's hard 470 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 1: to try to convey that so that men are looking 471 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,200 Speaker 1: for it and saying, hey, I want to be heard. 472 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,840 Speaker 1: Let me go to a counselor so that I can 473 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:05,560 Speaker 1: be heard. Right, I mean, it's really hard, It's really hard. 474 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:10,640 Speaker 1: So Vanessa, thank you for a question. Thank you so much. 475 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 1: All Right, you guys, So that was our last failer 476 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:17,120 Speaker 1: of Vanessa was flash of talking to her. She was awesome. Um, 477 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,479 Speaker 1: it was a very deep conversation. But we're gonna take 478 00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:21,440 Speaker 1: a little break and when we come back, we're gonna 479 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:30,960 Speaker 1: do with a cute and so glad. We had a 480 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,920 Speaker 1: bunch of our listeners d MS email us, UM, a 481 00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:38,880 Speaker 1: bunch of questions for you. So are you ready? Yeah, 482 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,800 Speaker 1: let's do it. Let's get to it. Okay. The first 483 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:46,320 Speaker 1: question is gleb, you give off a very sexy vibe. 484 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:48,440 Speaker 1: How do you do that? Is there a secret? Is 485 00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,480 Speaker 1: that something you learned or we're taught it's just my 486 00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:57,440 Speaker 1: hair flip seem just joking, I mean, sexy vibe? How 487 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:01,040 Speaker 1: do you know? You know? Why? Don't know? It's just 488 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,640 Speaker 1: first of all, First of all, whoever asked that question? 489 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:09,520 Speaker 1: I really appreciate that. Thank you, um stop stop stop. 490 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:14,080 Speaker 1: But I don't know, it's just thanks mom, and that 491 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,840 Speaker 1: I guess, like you know, I always try to like 492 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:21,400 Speaker 1: look after myself, like I work out and I tried 493 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:26,040 Speaker 1: to eat healthy, and you know, it's just I think 494 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:31,080 Speaker 1: sexy is not just the look, but also how like 495 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:34,320 Speaker 1: how you feel about yourself, you know what I mean, 496 00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,800 Speaker 1: and just how you like carry yourself. I don't know, Honestly, 497 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,840 Speaker 1: I'm really shy to answer to this question because I 498 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,960 Speaker 1: don't like I'm like, I don't think I'm like sexy. 499 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:48,240 Speaker 1: But anyone thinks what makes a woman sexy? What attracts 500 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:51,920 Speaker 1: you the most? And what's the first thing you notice 501 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:57,560 Speaker 1: what makes the woman sexy? I think it's an I 502 00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:01,800 Speaker 1: think it's an attitude, you know. I think it's at 503 00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:08,480 Speaker 1: the way she cares herself. Um. And also I think 504 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:16,120 Speaker 1: the conversation, like the intelligent woman and a nice conversation. 505 00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,520 Speaker 1: I think it's super sexy. That's like what for me, 506 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:29,240 Speaker 1: like I would be really attracted to um, smile, eyes, legs. 507 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,959 Speaker 1: When do I introduce my new boyfriend to my kids? 508 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:34,880 Speaker 1: When do you think it's the right time to do that. 509 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,960 Speaker 1: One is too soon, not just for my kids, but 510 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 1: for my new boyfriend. Is it overwhelming for the man 511 00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:49,320 Speaker 1: to meet the children? Wow? Okay, So it's funny because 512 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,400 Speaker 1: I went on a date with my current girlfriend. I 513 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,800 Speaker 1: went on a date. It was the fourth of July 514 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:59,400 Speaker 1: and on the fifth of July, master daughter. But for me, 515 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,840 Speaker 1: as I have already two girls, so it's kind of 516 00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,040 Speaker 1: like a normal thing, like she's a single mom, she 517 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:08,080 Speaker 1: has a daughter, and like the next day went to 518 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:14,600 Speaker 1: grab some actually pizza. Um, it's I think for kids, 519 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:16,960 Speaker 1: like it's like it's like like you might be a 520 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,440 Speaker 1: little confused, but like if you explain, now, that's my 521 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:22,960 Speaker 1: friend and whatever. Here's the thing. I think if it's 522 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:28,200 Speaker 1: something that you're not sure about and you don't think that, 523 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:32,239 Speaker 1: oh he's this guy is gonna stick around, like you know, 524 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,880 Speaker 1: maybe it's not very serious or whatever. If you don't, 525 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:38,120 Speaker 1: if you're not sure, don't do it. If you're sure 526 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,600 Speaker 1: that you know you really like this person, this person 527 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:46,880 Speaker 1: really likes you and you know he's just a good guy. Um, 528 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:50,040 Speaker 1: it's okay. And I think it's to actually talk and 529 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:55,120 Speaker 1: be like super straightforward saying like, oh, I have children, 530 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:58,040 Speaker 1: Like I have a kid's never hide it ever, because 531 00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:00,640 Speaker 1: then the moment he finds out, like myths later that 532 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:04,720 Speaker 1: you have a kid, then you'll be like what the ha, 533 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,360 Speaker 1: Like you should have told me that on the first day, 534 00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:10,120 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So but now this I 535 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,320 Speaker 1: think everything is like social media. So like if you're 536 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:14,560 Speaker 1: if he goes on your profile and you have pictures 537 00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:19,440 Speaker 1: with you, don't like he already knows that you have children, 538 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:22,600 Speaker 1: you know, like he'll he'll be a cool You'll feel 539 00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:26,040 Speaker 1: the you know, you'll feel the energy from me, like 540 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,560 Speaker 1: if he wants to talk to continue talking to because 541 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,800 Speaker 1: he doesn't mind that he likes it that your mom. 542 00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:33,200 Speaker 1: The same thing for a guy too, you know, like 543 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,600 Speaker 1: there are a lot of I mean, forgot maybe it's 544 00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:39,640 Speaker 1: a little different, but for a girl, yeah, I think 545 00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:45,400 Speaker 1: just you'll feel like I think each person individually will 546 00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:51,280 Speaker 1: feel when it's the right time. That's my opinion. What 547 00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:56,440 Speaker 1: are the challenges of dating as a single dad? Oh 548 00:33:56,480 --> 00:34:04,000 Speaker 1: my god, as a single like, I mean, it's just 549 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:06,640 Speaker 1: kind of scary to be out there and like date 550 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,880 Speaker 1: because you know, you know, like I don't want to 551 00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:14,799 Speaker 1: waste my time and I think it's like you never know. 552 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:16,520 Speaker 1: It's like a like you go on the date, it's 553 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:18,600 Speaker 1: like a box of chocolate. Like, you know, I've been 554 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,759 Speaker 1: married for a fifteen years, so I've never like really 555 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:25,879 Speaker 1: dated until like really recently. Uh and you know, I've 556 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:29,000 Speaker 1: went on a few dates. And he was like, you 557 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:30,719 Speaker 1: never know who you're gonna get, Like you remember that 558 00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:32,920 Speaker 1: moving forwards dump like when you have the box of 559 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:35,400 Speaker 1: chocolate katies and like you pick and you never know 560 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:38,839 Speaker 1: what's inside. That's exactly what you're getting. Like and then 561 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:42,919 Speaker 1: I thought, like I was like I went to like 562 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:47,040 Speaker 1: this expensive restaurant, like and I'm sitting with a person 563 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:49,840 Speaker 1: and I'm like not having a good time and not 564 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:54,120 Speaker 1: because there's something wrong with her, like she's beautiful and whatever, 565 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,160 Speaker 1: but is there's no connection you know what? Even like 566 00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,520 Speaker 1: why am I wasting my time? Like you know, I 567 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:03,040 Speaker 1: could have been home with kids and you know, uh, 568 00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:06,600 Speaker 1: be with them and spend time with them. So like 569 00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,560 Speaker 1: there were moments like I kind of dated, dated, dated, 570 00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:13,160 Speaker 1: and then I stopped for like two months and like 571 00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,960 Speaker 1: I didn't do anything, you know what I mean, because 572 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,719 Speaker 1: I felt like such a waste of time and it's 573 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:22,040 Speaker 1: you know, it's it's but at the same time, you 574 00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:25,440 Speaker 1: have to try otherwise you will never find out, do 575 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:30,600 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So it's like, yeah, so 576 00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:35,160 Speaker 1: it's a really deep question, guys. Really, I have no 577 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,360 Speaker 1: idea how I answer it. Is when should you become 578 00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:42,480 Speaker 1: Instagram official? Do you guys even care about being Instagram official? 579 00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:46,560 Speaker 1: I think when you know, it's like when you know 580 00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:48,960 Speaker 1: it's right, you know it's right, you know. And I 581 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:51,280 Speaker 1: don't remember exactly at the time, but I was always 582 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:55,400 Speaker 1: kind of like, you know, it's like I'm dating this girl, 583 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,520 Speaker 1: like you know, like and it's cool. So like there's 584 00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,799 Speaker 1: nothing like I don't need to hide anything, do you 585 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:02,359 Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like why would I want to hide? 586 00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,439 Speaker 1: Like that's my life, you know, And that's like that's 587 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,480 Speaker 1: my Instagram, that's my social media. I can both whatever 588 00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,160 Speaker 1: I want there, so and that's part of my life. 589 00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:15,960 Speaker 1: And you know, I just don't remember. It was like 590 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:23,160 Speaker 1: a few months in, I guess something like that. Everyone 591 00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:25,879 Speaker 1: asks why do men cheat? But what do you really 592 00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,200 Speaker 1: think is a boredom with your current partner or are 593 00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:31,920 Speaker 1: there signs that things with your current wife or girlfriend 594 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:41,000 Speaker 1: are over? Well? I think whoever thinks that everyone cheats 595 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:48,640 Speaker 1: is wrong. Not everyone cheats. Uh, And again, cheating might 596 00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:52,000 Speaker 1: be a very different in a very different form. It 597 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:56,880 Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily have to be like, uh, go and sleep 598 00:36:56,920 --> 00:37:01,360 Speaker 1: with someone you know. It could be you know, a connection, 599 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:04,520 Speaker 1: It could be an attraction, it could be thoughts, it 600 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:08,640 Speaker 1: could be something else, you know, and I guess, I guess. 601 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,239 Speaker 1: It's like it's a hard relationship, was a really hard 602 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:15,920 Speaker 1: work because you always need to be open and always 603 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:21,360 Speaker 1: needs to not get sucked into like daily routine, especially 604 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,920 Speaker 1: like when the young especially happens a lot like when 605 00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:26,120 Speaker 1: the young parents when they're like when there's just a 606 00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:29,600 Speaker 1: newborn baby, Like wife is at home, she's going on 607 00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 1: like after pregnancy depression. He's working hours at work, he 608 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,600 Speaker 1: comes back home. Everything is just a mass. There's like 609 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:39,759 Speaker 1: diapers everywhere, and like he's like, oh my god. So 610 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,640 Speaker 1: besides that, you have to both of you need to 611 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:49,200 Speaker 1: like find it's kind and spend time together and just 612 00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:52,920 Speaker 1: dedicate that time to each other and kind of almost 613 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:56,200 Speaker 1: like take that step back how you were when you've 614 00:37:56,280 --> 00:38:00,040 Speaker 1: met two you know, to have that because then in 615 00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:04,279 Speaker 1: the moment you lose and you know, she might like 616 00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:10,279 Speaker 1: the guy might not be because you know, like it's hard, 617 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,680 Speaker 1: like especially with kids, like you have one life, you 618 00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:17,680 Speaker 1: like have this like period of your dating dating dating 619 00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,600 Speaker 1: that you get engaged, super excited, you're in love, you're 620 00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:22,480 Speaker 1: in love, and then you get buried. Like there's a 621 00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:25,440 Speaker 1: huge party, you know, on holiday, everything is amazing. That 622 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:28,040 Speaker 1: you get pregnant and then nine months and there's a 623 00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:34,960 Speaker 1: baby and this whole world that you had before crashes. 624 00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:39,560 Speaker 1: But then you still work through, Like I think, I mean, 625 00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:43,560 Speaker 1: this came super bad, Like it's not doesn't crash. It's 626 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:46,880 Speaker 1: a beautiful thing to everybody. But what the baby comes 627 00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:48,879 Speaker 1: with it, Like, it's a lot of it's a lot 628 00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,160 Speaker 1: of work. And if you don't have help like in 629 00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:55,680 Speaker 1: nanny or grandparents or something, it's really hard. So I 630 00:38:55,719 --> 00:39:00,319 Speaker 1: think just be like always open with the and if 631 00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,719 Speaker 1: you don't if you don't have something, if you're not 632 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:06,480 Speaker 1: satisfied with something like so coovide, you know, and then 633 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:09,200 Speaker 1: figure it out and if it doesn't work, don't waste 634 00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:12,040 Speaker 1: your time. If it doesn't work, don't waste your time 635 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:14,960 Speaker 1: because you have your only one life that has given 636 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:19,080 Speaker 1: to you and it's so precious for you, and don't 637 00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:21,560 Speaker 1: do it for the kids. Does things together for the kids, 638 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,720 Speaker 1: because kids gonna grow up, they're gonna leave, and they're 639 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:27,520 Speaker 1: gonna be even happier if the parents are happening, because 640 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:34,440 Speaker 1: you know, we create our own happens. Okay, last question 641 00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:38,200 Speaker 1: for you. Do you think men change or are you 642 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:41,400 Speaker 1: essentially the same guy you were in high school? And 643 00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:46,280 Speaker 1: if you have changed? How I think every single person 644 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:51,200 Speaker 1: changes with age, with time, we all change. We all 645 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:55,520 Speaker 1: have different values in life. We all learned, we become wiser, 646 00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:59,600 Speaker 1: we become you know, more experienced in life. We we 647 00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:03,839 Speaker 1: deal the situations differently. How like you know, different situations. 648 00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:07,640 Speaker 1: When you were in college, you do situation the same 649 00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:11,120 Speaker 1: situation that you know in one way, and now you 650 00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,360 Speaker 1: would do it a different way just because you're already 651 00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,160 Speaker 1: more experience in life. I think we're all changed. Is 652 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:20,640 Speaker 1: just the word that you need to do on yourself. Uh, 653 00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:24,799 Speaker 1: that is important, and but you have to really go 654 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:28,480 Speaker 1: with your gut feeling which you really want. And that's 655 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:32,440 Speaker 1: I think really important for every single person. Like if 656 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:36,000 Speaker 1: you lie to yourself and doing something that you really 657 00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:41,040 Speaker 1: don't want to do, eventually, it's not gonna work, you know, 658 00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:47,120 Speaker 1: So if you don't feel it, just don't do it. 659 00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:50,600 Speaker 1: You know what I mean, You guys, thank you so much. 660 00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:54,040 Speaker 1: The time is up, I gotta go, but thank you 661 00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,600 Speaker 1: for listening. I had a blast. It was a lot 662 00:40:56,640 --> 00:41:00,000 Speaker 1: of fun talking to you, answering all your questions. Uh. 663 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:04,240 Speaker 1: You can find me on Instagram, webs of Chenko Official, 664 00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:09,320 Speaker 1: on Twitter, lebt under Sports of Chenko UM and also 665 00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:13,520 Speaker 1: come see me on tour. Were you going on tour? UM? 666 00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:18,240 Speaker 1: Starting Jor the seventh in Richmond, Virginia and we're going 667 00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,680 Speaker 1: all the way through March twenty seventh of March, the 668 00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:26,399 Speaker 1: last shows in California. So UM. Anyway, lots of love. 669 00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,640 Speaker 1: I had a blasting to thank you for having me, 670 00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:33,560 Speaker 1: thanks for listening to How Men Think, and I heart Radio. 671 00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:35,120 Speaker 1: London Audio Production