Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, Welcome back to the podcast. This is episode
Speaker 1: two sixty two. And I'm just thinking as I was
Speaker 1: setting up, that we should do something special for three hundred, right,
Speaker 1: especially for the people that have listened for so long.
Speaker 1: Three hundred episodes. That's crazy, right, We're getting close to that.
Speaker 1: What we do here is we answer your questions. You
Speaker 1: could email me podcast at grangersmith dot com how to
Speaker 1: think about that for a second podcast at grangersmith dot com.
Speaker 1: You could ask me any question about any topic and
Speaker 1: I just answer it. Like me and you are friends
Speaker 1: and we're driving on the road and you say, hey,
Speaker 1: can I run something by you. I don't have a
Speaker 1: bunch of notes in front of me, I have this
Speaker 1: iPad that has your questions chewed up from ant Man.
Speaker 1: And you know, I look at this as a conversation,
Speaker 1: and I look at this podcast as a way to
Speaker 1: encourage people to think, and I want them to think
Speaker 1: in a way that they could kind of step back
Speaker 1: from being in the middle of the problem, because we
Speaker 1: have a tendency to get inside our heads and look
Speaker 1: at it the problem from a microscope instead of stepping
Speaker 1: back and seeing the full picture of it. And so
Speaker 1: ultimately The goal for me is not just to answer
Speaker 1: your questions and move on and then that specific question
Speaker 1: is answered, because I'm not always right on these, but
Speaker 1: more so that we could all together learn to think
Speaker 1: about them together, so that we could answer any question
Speaker 1: that comes up. I think that's kind of the point here,
Speaker 1: because I have learned in two hundred and sixty one episodes.
Speaker 1: This is number two sixty two. I think I've learned
Speaker 1: that there are only seven to ten real questions, and
Speaker 1: everything else is a nuance of those seven to ten questions.
Speaker 1: So let's dive into this once again. The email is
Speaker 1: podcast at grangersmith dot com. And another thing I've been
Speaker 1: encouraging on this is if you go wherever you're listening
Speaker 1: right now. My preference is Apple Podcasts. That's where I
Speaker 1: listen to my podcast. Sometimes I listen on Spotify. You
Speaker 1: could also watch the video that I'm recording on Spotify,
Speaker 1: but I also put them up on YouTube and X
Speaker 1: and Facebook. I think I know for sure X. But
Speaker 1: on YouTube, if you go on there, you could actually
Speaker 1: comment below the video, which is kind of cool. So
Speaker 1: if you have a question wherever you're listening from about
Speaker 1: what I say on this episode, not a new question,
Speaker 1: but a question regarding an answer that I give. Go
Speaker 1: to YouTube and comment below on this episode, and then
Speaker 1: we'll scan through that and see if there's anything we
Speaker 1: need to double down on. That's kind of how we
Speaker 1: started this series, Marshall and I when we were doing
Speaker 1: the Good Church series How to Find a Good Church
Speaker 1: Part one, Part two, and I plan to have them
Speaker 1: back for a part three and maybe even more to
Speaker 1: continue this, but right now we're starting from scratchies or
Speaker 1: brand new questions. The first one says, Hey, Granger, I
Speaker 1: love what you're doing with the podcast. I was a
Speaker 1: huge fan of your prior career as well. My name
Speaker 1: is Justin and I'm married with two wonderful children. My
Speaker 1: wife and I have been married for ten years now.
Speaker 1: We recently attended a worship night in our area. During
Speaker 1: that night, I met a worship leader from another church.
Speaker 1: We began to small talk. I left my church to
Speaker 1: begin attending her church. I have grown feelings for someone
Speaker 1: I don't even really know. My wife has started talking
Speaker 1: about divorce as she thinks I'm cheating on her with
Speaker 1: this other lady. I'm lost, confused and worried. What should
Speaker 1: I do? Comes from justin, justin, thank you brother, thank
Speaker 1: you for emailing. And here's my reaction to this. You know,
Speaker 1: it makes me think of there's a scene from this
Speaker 1: Stephen King film, which I'm not recommending on this podcast,
Speaker 1: but the movie is called it. Surely most people have
Speaker 1: heard my kids. Obviously, my kids have not seen this movie,
Speaker 1: but they know what it is. It's that crazy clown.
Speaker 1: You know. It's like I think it's I think it
Speaker 1: ends up being an alien or something that eats humans.
Speaker 1: But here's the scenario. Here's the story. In the newer
Speaker 1: version of this, this creature dressed as a clown hides
Speaker 1: in a gutter I stuck a drain like a storm
Speaker 1: train storm drain, and holds her little balloon that comes
Speaker 1: out of the storm drain. And the clown is inside
Speaker 1: the gutter and a kid, a boy, I think a
Speaker 1: boy or a girl, sees the balloon and walks up
Speaker 1: to the to the storm drain and wants to take
Speaker 1: the balloon. And this this clown says, take the balloon.
Speaker 1: Take it. You know, I haven't seen it personally, but
Speaker 1: I'm telling you the story. Take you know, take it.
Speaker 1: So pretty. It's a beautiful, innocent little balloon. You're gonna
Speaker 1: love it. This is This is a beautiful toy. And
Speaker 1: the child in the movie takes this innocent, little, sweet
Speaker 1: little balloon from this clown, and the creature in the
Speaker 1: clown grabs the child and rips the arm off of
Speaker 1: the child, completely rips the arm right out of the
Speaker 1: socket and takes it down into the storm drain and
Speaker 1: eats it. Your story reminds me of that story, and
Speaker 1: your story is actually worse than the movie it. Here's
Speaker 1: another one. Whenever we go duck hunting in East Texas,
Speaker 1: we put out these nice pretty decoys on the water,
Speaker 1: and we put those decoys out there because it looks
Speaker 1: like a pretty little duck, peaceful and calm and relaxed
Speaker 1: on a lake. Hey, look, all ducks, all mallards, look
Speaker 1: right here. There's this pretty little little mallard sitting here
Speaker 1: on this little pond. Nothing going on here. And then
Speaker 1: here we are with our shotguns waiting to kill whatever
Speaker 1: comes in for this decoy. That story also reminds me
Speaker 1: of your story. And look, brother, I'm telling you this
Speaker 1: right now out of love, because justin right now, you
Speaker 1: are still that innocent child that hasn't taken the balloon
Speaker 1: yet but you you're now attracted to it. And you said,
Speaker 1: I've grown feelings, which which this is what makes it
Speaker 1: very difficult. You've now grown your feelings for this woman.
Speaker 1: But I promise you there is only death on the
Speaker 1: other side of the storm drain. There's only death. And
Speaker 1: on the other side of this decoy on sitting on
Speaker 1: the pond, it's it promises life, It promises beauty, it
Speaker 1: promises prosperity, it promises happiness, it promises that. This is
Speaker 1: a This is a good way to go. Your kids
Speaker 1: are going to actually just adapt to the to the
Speaker 1: new mom. There's going to be no problem. Your wife,
Speaker 1: You'll tell yourself, probably wasn't happy anyway. Maybe she'll just
Speaker 1: find somebody new. It's been ten years, you should know
Speaker 1: by now. She could find somebody new. You could have
Speaker 1: this wonderful new clown woman with the red balloon, and
Speaker 1: she's so pretty, and you could just marry her, and
Speaker 1: then maybe you could have kids with her and then
Speaker 1: split time. This is death. This is going to rip
Speaker 1: your arm off. This this is going to end. You're
Speaker 1: gonna end up completely mutilated, and there's no other way
Speaker 1: around it. The world makes this very normal. The world
Speaker 1: makes this seem like this happens all the time. It's
Speaker 1: no big deal. People fall out of love the brother.
Speaker 1: I would encourage you to see what the Bible has
Speaker 1: to say about this. The Book of Proverbs Solomon writes
Speaker 1: extensively about this because he knows from experience. I would
Speaker 1: like you to read David's experience with this and Psal
Speaker 1: I'm fifty one, and every other piece of the Bible
Speaker 1: that says do not commit adultery, don't do it. There's
Speaker 1: death on the other side of it. I feel like
Speaker 1: there's not a better way for me to say it.
Speaker 1: So maybe now the question is, well, how do you
Speaker 1: how do you do this? Justin you've gone, you're in,
Speaker 1: you're attracted to the balloon. What do you do? You
Speaker 1: immediately seek counsel from godly men, and you brought it
Speaker 1: to this podcast. It's interesting that you brought it to
Speaker 1: the podcast, not being anonymous and just given me straight facts,
Speaker 1: which is encouraging and interesting that it's not a secret,
Speaker 1: almost as if your wife already knows about this. But
Speaker 1: I would seek counsel immediately. I'm gonna go to your
Speaker 1: wife and say, look, I've been wrong. If you thought.
Speaker 1: I've been talking to this woman and I had feelings
Speaker 1: for her. I am reversing that now. I am turning
Speaker 1: to you. I'm repenting, turning to God with my sin.
Speaker 1: I'm sinning against God himself, and I'm turning to God,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna stop it right where it is, right now,
Speaker 1: kill it. Stop it right now. Turn away from the storm, drain,
Speaker 1: turn away with your wings flapping, and get away from
Speaker 1: this pond as fast as you can. You've gone this far,
Speaker 1: so be it. Stop it, turn around, seek wise, counsel,
Speaker 1: get around, other men, go man. I was blinded by
Speaker 1: this sin. Because what you need to realize justin I'll
Speaker 1: say this last thing. I'll say this is a spiritual attack.
Speaker 1: You are under attack, the clown, the hunters. With the
Speaker 1: guns they have, they have tracked you down. They have
Speaker 1: pinned you into a corner. They have outnumbered you. They
Speaker 1: have fooled you, have been a fool to them. They
Speaker 1: have outwitted you, overpowered you, blinded you, and now they're
Speaker 1: about to kill you. You have to know this is
Speaker 1: not about this woman. She's just a pawn in this game.
Speaker 1: But you've been hunted by an enemy that you cannot
Speaker 1: compete against seek wise counsel, seek the Lord, repent, turn
Speaker 1: back to him, tell your wife you will never leave her,
Speaker 1: and then come back to this podcast in email. But
Speaker 1: I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, but I don't think
Speaker 1: I think it requires that much severity in what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Next question is anonymous, It says Granger. As you know,
Speaker 1: the comment section can be quite divisive on videos, So
Speaker 1: my question is based on what I've read on various videos.
Speaker 1: What would you say about those that say that Catholicism
Speaker 1: is the only true Christianity, or that Protestants do things
Speaker 1: the right way and Catholics involve too many traditions, etc.
Speaker 1: Would this be another case of the devil trying to
Speaker 1: distract from the Gospel like the End Times debate. Could
Speaker 1: the conflict over Baptism's role in salvation be included as well? Anonymous, Hey,
Speaker 1: this is somebody that's used to this podcast. I like that.
Speaker 1: So you're obviously referring to things that have happened on
Speaker 1: this podcast over our previous episodes where I have brought
Speaker 1: up the fact that when it comes to end Times,
Speaker 1: people talking about the mark of the Beast and six
Speaker 1: sixty six and the anti Christ and the rapture, and
Speaker 1: is it happening right now? Do we see it in
Speaker 1: the world today? And I've said many times that the
Speaker 1: point of all of that, really, or the point that
Speaker 1: we're missing, is that Jesus says, be ready. And so
Speaker 1: the point is secure yourself with scripture, learning to know
Speaker 1: who God is and understand the Gospel and what Jesus
Speaker 1: did for man to bring them to reconcile them. The
Speaker 1: Bible says, back to God, because we've sinned, we've turned
Speaker 1: away from Him, and Jesus comes to die for sin
Speaker 1: and through his righteousness bring us to God from what
Speaker 1: he did on the cross. He takes our sin upon
Speaker 1: his body on the cross and credits us with his righteousness.
Speaker 1: We credit him with our sin. That's the Gospel, and
Speaker 1: so anything other than that begins to distract like the
Speaker 1: end of times. And yes, I agree with this synonymous
Speaker 1: comment that the debate of Catholicism and Protestants tends to
Speaker 1: break away and distract from the truth of the Gospel.
Speaker 1: And yes, I believe the Baptism's rule and salvation and
Speaker 1: all these other things our divisive tactics by the enemy,
Speaker 1: just like the clown with a red balloon in a
Speaker 1: different way. This is a different kind of sin. And
Speaker 1: we're under spiritual constantly. This is spiritual warfare. We do
Speaker 1: not battle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers,
Speaker 1: against authorities, against cosmic powers of this present darkness, against
Speaker 1: the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places Ephesians
Speaker 1: six twelve. We are in a war, and people are
Speaker 1: getting taken out all the time. Justin is an example,
Speaker 1: and then anonymous here is bringing up another example. And
Speaker 1: this is another tactic by the enemies. Just distraction, disunity, discrediting,
Speaker 1: just argue about these things and forget about the Gospel.
Speaker 1: So what happened in the Reformation when when the Protestants
Speaker 1: split from the Catholic Church, the Roman Catholic Church. What happened?
Speaker 1: That's often misunderstood. And it's not that a new denomination
Speaker 1: was formed or a new religion was formed. It's not
Speaker 1: that it was a reformation, meaning it was a it
Speaker 1: was reforming back to the basics. Really, you could say
Speaker 1: it that way. It things had things began happening in
Speaker 1: the church, in the Catholic Church that were leading it
Speaker 1: away from the Gospel, and there were groups in France,
Speaker 1: in Germany, in England, different pockets. Their Reformation wasn't all
Speaker 1: Martin Luther in Germany, but there were different park pockets
Speaker 1: that around the same time that started sparking up, speaking
Speaker 1: out against the indulgences, against the Catholic Church, charging people
Speaker 1: to to to bring their family members out of purgatory
Speaker 1: to save them, things that were unbiblical, and people were like, hey,
Speaker 1: this isn't I don't think this is right. I don't
Speaker 1: think this is right. But they were all Catholics saying this.
Speaker 1: They were all Catholics. And so what really made it
Speaker 1: the spark flame was the printing press. And when the
Speaker 1: printing press started, then these writings spread like wildfire and
Speaker 1: everyone was able to consume and think to themselves, think
Speaker 1: for themselves, and think to themselves, Oh, yeah, I've been
Speaker 1: seeing this is a problem. I've been seeing this and
Speaker 1: I thought this was a problem. And this guy's bringing
Speaker 1: it to light and he's using the Bible is the
Speaker 1: example of the truth. And so that's what took off.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't that it was a new idea. It
Speaker 1: was a hey, I think we're on a wrong path.
Speaker 1: Let's go back to the basics. Let's go back to
Speaker 1: what the apostles taught us. That's what the Reformation was,
Speaker 1: and so that the idea was never to break off
Speaker 1: from the Catholic Church. The idea was to reform the
Speaker 1: Catholic Church back to the way it was. Hey, let's
Speaker 1: get back to the basics, right, Let's get back to
Speaker 1: the fundamentals of the faith, because we're starting to lead
Speaker 1: people straight by doing these all these things that are
Speaker 1: not biblical. But the reaction from the leadership of the
Speaker 1: Catholic Church was this is heresy and were excommunicating you.
Speaker 1: We're pushing you out. So the people that were once
Speaker 1: the once loved the church, that were part of the church,
Speaker 1: were then excommunicated and pushed out, and then the Reformation
Speaker 1: became its own thing. What's interesting is that when the
Speaker 1: Reformation broke off, when the reformers broke off from the
Speaker 1: Catholic Church once again, not because they were trying to,
Speaker 1: but literally because they were pushed out threatened. When they
Speaker 1: did break off, it didn't take but just a few
Speaker 1: years before divisions within the Reformation started. The first one
Speaker 1: was in the sacrament of the Lord's Supper. People started
Speaker 1: disagreeing on what this what the Lord's Supper meant. And
Speaker 1: so there is the divisiveness of the devil, the enemy
Speaker 1: coming in right at the beginning of the Reformation going
Speaker 1: I'm gonna you guys divided. Now, I'm gonna divide you
Speaker 1: over this, and it's just constantly a distraction from the Gospel.
Speaker 1: The Reformation started to reform back to the way of
Speaker 1: what things were, to the fundamentals, and as soon as
Speaker 1: it reformed, it was breaking apart again with things that
Speaker 1: weren't fundamental. You could see the pattern. You could see
Speaker 1: the red balloon right in the in the storm drain.
Speaker 1: You could start to see these tactics of disunity as
Speaker 1: it as the enemy comes in and attacks with pride
Speaker 1: and ignorance. The Reformation was based on the five Soul laws,
Speaker 1: which is, we're saved by grace alone, through faith alone,
Speaker 1: and Christ alone, according to the Bible alone, to the
Speaker 1: glory of God alone. That's five and all of that
Speaker 1: is it's not a man made idea. It's what we
Speaker 1: could trace through scripture that were saved by grace alone,
Speaker 1: through faith alone, and Christ alone according to the scripture,
Speaker 1: the Holy Scriptures alone, to the glory of God alone.
Speaker 1: Anything else really is a distraction an argument. There could
Speaker 1: be Catholics that believe that that believe the gospel. There
Speaker 1: could be people that disagree over the role of baptism
Speaker 1: and salvation, but still the Gospel has still taking root
Speaker 1: in their heart and their Christians. And so while we
Speaker 1: could disagree, and it's okay to disagree. You know, I
Speaker 1: like blue, you like red, I like country music, you
Speaker 1: like rap music. It's okay to have these nuances. But
Speaker 1: when we start getting from the doctrine of salvation, of rebirth,
Speaker 1: of regeneration, of justification, meaning how we're saved. We're saved
Speaker 1: by grace. God does it. God does it. Salvation is
Speaker 1: of the Lord, the Bible says. When we start getting
Speaker 1: away from this, then it gets muddy. The waters get muddy,
Speaker 1: and the red balloon gets taken and arms get ripped off.
Speaker 1: Another reminder here on the podcast, if you have someone
Speaker 1: that you just don't know what kind of gift to
Speaker 1: get them coming up into this holiday season, consider cameo.
Speaker 1: Go to cameo dot com slash Grangersmith. And what that
Speaker 1: does is it allows me to get a message from
Speaker 1: you and then I pull out my phone, put it
Speaker 1: on selfie mode and record you a video message to
Speaker 1: whoever you want it to go to. I get this
Speaker 1: all the time when people say, hey, can you can
Speaker 1: you give my neighbor a shout out? It's her birthday,
Speaker 1: her name Savannah, she's turning ten years old, and so
Speaker 1: I'll get it my phone out and say, hey Savanna,
Speaker 1: it's Granger Smith. Hey, I'm thinking about you. I wanted
Speaker 1: to sing you a happy birthday, and I hope to
Speaker 1: meet you one of these days. Well, you could do
Speaker 1: anyone could do that. If you got a cameo dot
Speaker 1: com slash Granger Smith, leave me a message and I'll
Speaker 1: send you whatever kind of video you want. Again, that's
Speaker 1: cameo dot com slash Granger Smith. Okay, next question. These
Speaker 1: have been good so far today, Josh says, Hey, Grangeer,
Speaker 1: I'm in my early thirties. I've been married to my
Speaker 1: wife almost ten years, and we have three kids. Currently,
Speaker 1: I'm a youth pastor in a small town outside of Lubbock, Reckham.
Speaker 1: I was called to ministry in high school and have
Speaker 1: been pursuing that call ever since. Recently, my wife told
Speaker 1: me that she feels a strong call to missions overseas.
Speaker 1: I've been praying and thinking about ways to help her
Speaker 1: pursue her calling while also pursuing what God has called
Speaker 1: me to do. When we talk through what pursuing her
Speaker 1: calling looks like, sometimes it comes off like my job
Speaker 1: and my calling is more important than hers. My question
Speaker 1: is how would you handle a situation where husband and
Speaker 1: wife have different callings in industry? Josh, Hey, thanks for
Speaker 1: the email, buddy, appreciate you. Brother. I want to say
Speaker 1: that oftentimes we think that we have different callings from
Speaker 1: our wife, when in fact we are one flesh. The
Speaker 1: Bible says when we become husband and wife, we become
Speaker 1: one flesh. And so instead of thinking of she has
Speaker 1: her calling and I have my calling, instead you should
Speaker 1: think of it as your calling is always through her calling,
Speaker 1: and her calling is always through your calling. They're intertwined.
Speaker 1: They don't they don't split off and go into nothingness.
Speaker 1: They are the same. They're nuanced, and you have different
Speaker 1: giftings within it. But your calling, to say, youth ministry
Speaker 1: may go through her overseas calling so that you do
Speaker 1: overseas missions, you do youth ministry in overseas missions, or
Speaker 1: her calling is through your calling where she host a
Speaker 1: missions outreach in your church with your youth group so
Speaker 1: that people how you house overseas missionaries that come through
Speaker 1: Lubbock and they stay with you and get trained to
Speaker 1: go out or something. But but you see, there's a
Speaker 1: and I could say that ten different ways how your
Speaker 1: two callings could could intertwine. First question I would have
Speaker 1: if you're with me, as I would say, hey, where
Speaker 1: is your senior pastor in this? This is this is
Speaker 1: something that has to has to be talked through with
Speaker 1: your elders, your overseers, your pastors, your fellow pastors have
Speaker 1: to be part of this. They do. This is not
Speaker 1: something you wouldn't make a decision like this or try
Speaker 1: to think through this in a vacuum. Nothing in Christianity
Speaker 1: happens in a vacuum. It's a brotherhood, it's a sisterhood,
Speaker 1: it's a family. You are the church. The church is
Speaker 1: not a building. It is a gathering of people. And
Speaker 1: so when you think through this, don't think that God's
Speaker 1: going to write something in the sky. You intensify your
Speaker 1: prayer life about this. You focus on your daily scripture
Speaker 1: reading for your own devotional time. You bring this to
Speaker 1: your leadership and you start praying through it. Say hey, guys,
Speaker 1: I want to pray through something with you or can
Speaker 1: you be praying something with us? Because my wife has
Speaker 1: a strong calling for overseas missions. And as you bring
Speaker 1: that up and you say, and then I have my calling.
Speaker 1: I don't know honestly what you're calling is you say
Speaker 1: you're a youth pastor in a small town outside of Lubbock.
Speaker 1: I don't know specifically what you want to do, because
Speaker 1: a calling is not much more than a want. You
Speaker 1: desire something, And if your your will is aligned with
Speaker 1: the Lords, then then his desires are yours and he
Speaker 1: gives you the desires of your heart if you're seeking him,
Speaker 1: if you're close to him, if you delight yourself in
Speaker 1: the Lord, he will give you the desires of your heart.
Speaker 1: And that's the calling. There's there's It doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be mysterious. A calling is your desire as long as
Speaker 1: so long as you're close to the Lord. And so
Speaker 1: what do you desire to do? Is it youth ministry?
Speaker 1: Do you want to be a senior pastor one day?
Speaker 1: And so I would say why is that? Why is
Speaker 1: that different than what your wife wants to do? If
Speaker 1: she she has a strong call to missions, overseas. Would
Speaker 1: you not want to be a pastor overseas or a
Speaker 1: youth pastor overseas? Would you not want to take that there?
Speaker 1: So I want you to think of it in this way.
Speaker 1: I want you to think instead of hers, she has hers,
Speaker 1: I have mine. I think that's dangerous and I think
Speaker 1: it's wrong. I don't think the Bible speaks of a
Speaker 1: husband and wife having callings in different ways. You too,
Speaker 1: are called to each other for the Lord, to each
Speaker 1: other for the Lord, serving each other as one one flesh.
Speaker 1: I don't know. There aren't kids mentioned here, but that
Speaker 1: would be another component to this. But I would be
Speaker 1: I would be just with your your the pastors of
Speaker 1: your church in prayer a lot about this and trying
Speaker 1: to get clarity through discussion and through prayer on what
Speaker 1: her overseas mission work looks like. Is it short term stuff?
Speaker 1: Does she want to move to China? Regardless, you guys
Speaker 1: should should do with your praying. You should do a
Speaker 1: few trips to whatever people group she feels called to.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we feel called, we feel called to a certain
Speaker 1: kind of people. Every missionary I've ever talk to has
Speaker 1: said that they have general mission work. But then there's
Speaker 1: always a specific people group that you say, I really
Speaker 1: feel called to the Saharan African culture, or I really
Speaker 1: feel called to the Latino culture, or I really feel
Speaker 1: called to the Chinese culture, or the Vietnamese culture, or
Speaker 1: the Filipino culture, or the Romanian culture or the Irish culture.
Speaker 1: Usually you feel strongly about one or the other. So
Speaker 1: I would test your wife with that and whatever she
Speaker 1: comes up with, whatever her answer is testing that her
Speaker 1: motivations are not self driven instead God glory driven. She
Speaker 1: wants to out of the abundance the love, the abundance
Speaker 1: of her heart, the overflow of that, she wants to
Speaker 1: love God's people, and she wants to do that overseas
Speaker 1: instead of propping herself up. She just wants to do
Speaker 1: something really cool. There's a lot of things to test through.
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to throwing some things out, but at
Speaker 1: the main point is you don't have two different callings.
Speaker 1: You're married. Your calling is one. Next question comes from
Speaker 1: John says, Hey, grad Guoman names John, my wife Amanda,
Speaker 1: and I got the opportunity to meet you in Boston
Speaker 1: on your farewell tour as a Christian family. Your words
Speaker 1: of encouragement and advice is very appreciated. We struggle as
Speaker 1: god fearing and loving parents to shield our kids from
Speaker 1: the world. My son Levi is convinced that Mav is
Speaker 1: his brother. Huh. They love your family videos. The question
Speaker 1: that I have is something that is very heavy on
Speaker 1: my heart. I own a towing company that is struggling.
Speaker 1: I've worked construction my whole life, running heavy equipment. I've
Speaker 1: had to put my business that I have spent the
Speaker 1: last six years building on hold. I've had to hold
Speaker 1: I've had to go back on the road. In quotes
Speaker 1: working construction. I'm gone from Saturday night to Friday night.
Speaker 1: I always grew up in the mindset of I must
Speaker 1: do whatever it takes to provide for my family. I'm
Speaker 1: missing so much being gone. I'm really struggling with the
Speaker 1: work family ratio. I've done a lot of self reflection
Speaker 1: on how we as a family have gotten to this point,
Speaker 1: and my son is too. We just welcomed our daughter,
Speaker 1: Emma into the world on Monday. I grew up with
Speaker 1: a father who was an over the road truck driver.
Speaker 1: I barely knew him growing up as a father and
Speaker 1: head provider for my family, I'm really struggling with this.
Speaker 1: I love any thoughts and ideas on the subject. God
Speaker 1: bless the Innis family. All right, John, appreciate you, brother,
Speaker 1: Thank you for the email. Has this been all guys today?
Speaker 1: I feel like it's been all dudes today. Okay, it's
Speaker 1: the brother chat man. John. I appreciate the vulnerability, and
Speaker 1: I understand the difficulty. I see it. I see what
Speaker 1: you're saying, and I want to point a few things out.
Speaker 1: One I think you know the answer. I think you
Speaker 1: know the answer. That's why you emailed me, because you've said,
Speaker 1: you said here, I'm really struggling. I'm missing so much
Speaker 1: being gone, you say, And I'm really struggling with the
Speaker 1: work family ratio. So I think you know what to do.
Speaker 1: I think you know you need to be home, and
Speaker 1: you don't need me to tell you that being gone
Speaker 1: Sunday night to Friday night is a long time and
Speaker 1: it cannot be good. I'm not just thinking only about
Speaker 1: your kids. I'm also thinking about your wife. She needs
Speaker 1: you there. And I want to point out that you
Speaker 1: said I've grown up with the mindset of I must
Speaker 1: do whatever it takes to provide for my family. I
Speaker 1: want you to think about what it means to provide
Speaker 1: for your family. And that doesn't just mean financially. It
Speaker 1: doesn't just mean they're going to pay the bills and
Speaker 1: pay the car payment and have food on the table.
Speaker 1: That's not just what it means. Providing for your family
Speaker 1: also means emotionally, from a leadership standpoint, from an encouragement standpoint,
Speaker 1: from a discipline standpoint, you providing for your families, not
Speaker 1: just from the pocketbooks, not just from the bank account
Speaker 1: that you be in there. It's a loving father as
Speaker 1: a loving husband, giving instruction, lifting them up, giving them encouragement.
Speaker 1: No one would ever define a father is someone who
Speaker 1: provides financially and then end it right there. I mean
Speaker 1: a big calling as a father is to protect right,
Speaker 1: to protect your family from all different things, not just physically,
Speaker 1: but from all different things spiritually is a huge one.
Speaker 1: But how could you do that if you're gone six
Speaker 1: days every single week. How could you do that? You can't,
Speaker 1: And so you wouldn't defy and a father as just financial,
Speaker 1: It would be the protector, the leader, the spiritual head,
Speaker 1: the one that nurtures and loves and holds together. These
Speaker 1: are all definitions that you work together with your wife
Speaker 1: on and with you gone, it can't be good. You
Speaker 1: know this. You don't like I said. I don't need
Speaker 1: to be the one telling you that you already know it.
Speaker 1: I could hear it in your words. But the problem is,
Speaker 1: how do you pay the bills? That's what you're thinking.
Speaker 1: You're thinking, this is all I've ever done. You justify
Speaker 1: it by saying, my dad did it to me, and
Speaker 1: I guess I turned out okay, even though I didn't
Speaker 1: really know him. I don't want to be that guy.
Speaker 1: But how else am I going to do this? You
Speaker 1: think there's no other options, and so that's what I hear.
Speaker 1: And sometimes we get stuck in these situations where you
Speaker 1: think I could only do one thing, or we think
Speaker 1: I've done something for so long there's no turning back
Speaker 1: from it. Now, I've already I've set the precedent on this.
Speaker 1: I've built my relationships, I've built my skill set, I've
Speaker 1: built my resume. And if I do something else, that's
Speaker 1: like starting over. And how old are you? You didn't say,
Speaker 1: but you don't want to start over. You don't want
Speaker 1: to build the resume from scratch. But I'm here to
Speaker 1: tell you that most likely the story pans out and
Speaker 1: you could attest because your dad did this. Twenty years
Speaker 1: go by, and your son is now twenty two and
Speaker 1: your daughter's twenty and they don't know you, and it
Speaker 1: didn't really matter. And you always had a roof over
Speaker 1: your head no matter what, and you always had a
Speaker 1: vehicle to drive, you always had food to eat. And
Speaker 1: yet you've lost a relationship with them, and you and
Speaker 1: your wife. Perhaps she even leaves you over this because
Speaker 1: you've you've more or less abandoned her. And you could
Speaker 1: justify it by saying that, look, I always I always
Speaker 1: gave you everything you needed. I always provided a roof
Speaker 1: over your head. I always gave you food on the table.
Speaker 1: And your wife says that's not enough. Every wife listening
Speaker 1: right now goes, that's not enough. Most would say, I
Speaker 1: would rather live in a cardboard box and have you
Speaker 1: than have all this stuff that we don't need and
Speaker 1: not have you. But somehow, this this disease has gotten
Speaker 1: into our heads. It's Americans in the West that we
Speaker 1: got to have stuff, and we got to provide for
Speaker 1: our families. And that's that's the number one factor of
Speaker 1: a father is to provide for a family. And it's
Speaker 1: just never been that way, and we've got to break
Speaker 1: the mold and flip the script and instead we say, look,
Speaker 1: I want to provide, and I'm gonna work my butt
Speaker 1: off to do it. I'm gonna get out there. But
Speaker 1: I have decided family that we might have a little
Speaker 1: bit less, we might need a smaller house, we might
Speaker 1: need to get rid of that nice car and go
Speaker 1: to a lesser car. But I've decided that the more
Speaker 1: important thing is for you guys to have a dad
Speaker 1: and a husband that's around every day. That's what I've decided,
Speaker 1: and I guarantee you everyone in the family goes great.
Speaker 1: No one goes oh, you got to get rid of
Speaker 1: the car. I mean, Dad, go back on the road.
Speaker 1: We want the car. This is his reality. I appreciate
Speaker 1: the email, buddy, Thank you. Next email comes from Dax.
Speaker 1: He got your. My name is Dax. I'm nineteen live
Speaker 1: in Waco, Texas. I have a question I want to
Speaker 1: run by you. My grandpa recently passed by suicide. Side
Speaker 1: my grandpa recently passed by suicide and my father also
Speaker 1: did the same. My grandpa was in Vietnam and left
Speaker 1: with some PTSD. He was taking a new medication for
Speaker 1: some heart problems, and one of the side effects was depression.
Speaker 1: Nobody knew until he ended his life from it. What
Speaker 1: is the best way to deal with this from a
Speaker 1: Christian standpoint? He says on a different note, I've also
Speaker 1: been struggling with lust for years, and I've tried so
Speaker 1: much and wanted to know if you have figured out
Speaker 1: what the best way? What is the best way to
Speaker 1: get out of this? My heart desires it, but I
Speaker 1: don't know how to change my heart. I would like
Speaker 1: to hear your thoughts. Sorry for my bad reading. Yeah, Dax,
Speaker 1: thanks for the email. Brother. This has been the Brother podcast.
Speaker 1: This has been all good, all dudes. First of all,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry that here you are as the third
Speaker 1: generation man and the previous two generations have died by suicide.
Speaker 1: That is a tremendous pressure to put on your shoulders
Speaker 1: as a nineteen year old, and I'm truly sorry and
Speaker 1: wouldn't wish that for anybody. It is significant, and you
Speaker 1: shouldn't and I shouldn't diminish the fact that it's gonna
Speaker 1: be tough, not just the loss of them, but the
Speaker 1: way that you lost them, and how that weighs heavily
Speaker 1: on you, and it would be hard not to think
Speaker 1: at some point, uh am I am I on the
Speaker 1: same path. So from a Christian standpoint, this comes up
Speaker 1: a lot on this podcast, and this question comes up
Speaker 1: a lot. I think you're asking. I think you're basically asking, Hey,
Speaker 1: is Grandpa going to heaven or Hell? I think I
Speaker 1: think that's what you're saying, because that's what usually when
Speaker 1: you boil these questions down, that's the salt at the
Speaker 1: bottom of the boil. And so I would say, like
Speaker 1: I always say, you're we're saved by grace through faith
Speaker 1: and Jesus alone, and that's came out of the Reformation,
Speaker 1: you know, that's that's the idea, that's what the Bible teaches.
Speaker 1: And so being saved by grace through faith is understanding,
Speaker 1: believing in Jesus, and repenting of your sins, believing and
Speaker 1: the finished work that Jesus did on the cross for sins,
Speaker 1: taking sins on his own body as the sacrifice, the
Speaker 1: sacrificial lamb for the sins of his people, so that
Speaker 1: his perfect righteousness, his goodness that he earned by divine
Speaker 1: right and lived out perfectly on this earth without sin,
Speaker 1: is then credited to you. The Bible sometimes uses and
Speaker 1: theologians sometimes use the big word imputed. His goodness is
Speaker 1: imputed onto you, so that when you come to judgment
Speaker 1: day and God looks at you and says, well, you
Speaker 1: are a criminal. You have broken the law of God,
Speaker 1: you have rejected his mercy, and so the sentence for
Speaker 1: your crime is death. And then the judge comes in
Speaker 1: and goes, hold up, Hold up a minute. This man
Speaker 1: of a hero, who is perfect, is offering his death
Speaker 1: in place of yours. So do you accept this? You
Speaker 1: say yes, Well you still live a life in rejection
Speaker 1: of me, and you say no, and he says, then
Speaker 1: therefore you're free to go. You're free to walk. That's
Speaker 1: what's happening here. That's the gospel. And so suicide, where
Speaker 1: does it come into plays. It is a sin, It
Speaker 1: is murder. Suicide is murder. We shouldn't think of it
Speaker 1: any other way. And murder is a sin, horrible sin
Speaker 1: which with horrible consequences God. It only takes one sin
Speaker 1: to be a transgressor and to be a criminal, to
Speaker 1: be to be on the wrong side of God. But
Speaker 1: we also should recognize that different sins have different consequences.
Speaker 1: And the adultery the first question we had has huge consequences.
Speaker 1: Murder has huge consequences. Murder of yourself. Suicide also has
Speaker 1: huge consequences through other people, for instance, the grandson that's
Speaker 1: worried about this. It's a consequence. But Jesus went to
Speaker 1: the cross to die for sins for all who repent,
Speaker 1: turn from the sin and turn to Him in faith,
Speaker 1: who believe in him, who believe in Jesus, you're saved
Speaker 1: regardless of sin. But you would think that if someone
Speaker 1: is going to commit murder, that wouldn't be a fruit
Speaker 1: of repentance, right. That's why people say sometimes way and amen,
Speaker 1: grand Are you telling me that I could just accept
Speaker 1: Jesus and repent and go do whatever I want? And
Speaker 1: I say no, because true repentance and true faith would
Speaker 1: birth the fruit of someone who genuinely desires to please
Speaker 1: God in his actions, which is why faith and obedience
Speaker 1: are always together. Faith comes first, but always true faith
Speaker 1: is always followed by true obedience, never without it. You
Speaker 1: never have true faith without obedience, and you never have
Speaker 1: true obedience to Christ without it being preceded by faith.
Speaker 1: Those two things are always together, And so you would
Speaker 1: think if someone murders, then that's coming out of bad
Speaker 1: fruit and coming out of a faith that is broken.
Speaker 1: But the nuances and what we see so many times
Speaker 1: with suicide is that, like you said here, he was
Speaker 1: taking this medication for heart problems and the side effect
Speaker 1: was depression. So that depression from the side effect could
Speaker 1: have clouded his mind enough for him to carry out
Speaker 1: the act of suicide from a repentant heart, from a
Speaker 1: true heart of faith, blinded and taken out by the enemy.
Speaker 1: So that's where that's where you go. I don't know.
Speaker 1: We pray for we pray for anyone that's struggling with
Speaker 1: suicide or depression. We pray for their salvation through faith
Speaker 1: in Jesus. We pray that they repent from their sins
Speaker 1: and turn to Him. And if they go ahead and
Speaker 1: carry it out, at that point, we don't know what happened.
Speaker 1: We don't know their heart. We don't know that. We
Speaker 1: don't know, and so I can't no one. I can't
Speaker 1: give you an answer, and no one can, no one
Speaker 1: can even begin to give you an answer. Besides, we
Speaker 1: know how you're saved, and we know that the fruit
Speaker 1: of murder is rotten. But with this guy being clouded
Speaker 1: in his mind, you could say well, maybe he was
Speaker 1: messed up because of this drug, but he had actually
Speaker 1: he actually had a repent in heart. You see, that's
Speaker 1: why I can't. I can't tell you. That's the Christian standpoint.
Speaker 1: But then you go and then you flip the script, buddy,
Speaker 1: and you you take me to ask to this new
Speaker 1: question of lust. And I run into this quite a bit.
Speaker 1: I had it. I spoke at a men's group recently,
Speaker 1: and I usually ask people to stay and talk to
Speaker 1: me afterward, and this one guy stays. Three guys stay
Speaker 1: past everyone else, very last three guys there, and two
Speaker 1: of them say, hey, we're just they're asking some kind
Speaker 1: of evangelism question. And I answered the question. And then
Speaker 1: the last guy says, I want to talk privately, and
Speaker 1: I said okay. And he says, I struggle with lust
Speaker 1: with pornography. And I said, did you talk to your
Speaker 1: other two friends about it? He says no, I haven't
Speaker 1: told him yet. I said, okay, Well this is where
Speaker 1: it starts. Look, if we don't bring these sins into
Speaker 1: the light, if we don't shine the light on them,
Speaker 1: then they will just fester and fester and grow. So
Speaker 1: the best thing we could do, and that usually the
Speaker 1: first thing we do is flip the light on in
Speaker 1: the dark room, meaning you go to your two bodies.
Speaker 1: And this is what I told. This guy said, go
Speaker 1: out there right now after this, and I when you say, hey, guys,
Speaker 1: I just talked to Granger, and I want to tell
Speaker 1: you I'm struggling with lust and pornography and I need
Speaker 1: you two to stand with me because we can't do
Speaker 1: it alone. And the Bible speaks about this. It's very clear,
Speaker 1: don't do this alone, don't walk alone, don't try to
Speaker 1: battle sin alone. So I want you to tell these
Speaker 1: two guys, I say, I want you to keep me accountable.
Speaker 1: I want you to check in and say, how'd you
Speaker 1: do last night? Did you look at poorn last night? Yes?
Speaker 1: I did? I did. Okay, then we're gonna help you.
Speaker 1: Now what was the source of it? What, what made what?
Speaker 1: What was the trigger for it? Let's let's help this brother,
Speaker 1: because if you go down on next, let's stick together
Speaker 1: in this. Right. So that's my first thing is flip
Speaker 1: the light on the house, turn the light on in
Speaker 1: the dark room. And then practically there's I mean I've
Speaker 1: mentioned this a month on the podcast. There's a there's
Speaker 1: a website called Covenant eyes dot com. And if you
Speaker 1: go to Covenant eyes dot com and you enter your
Speaker 1: IP address in their server, and then you put your
Speaker 1: accountability partner on the on the the server as well,
Speaker 1: could be your mother or your sister, or your wife,
Speaker 1: or your friend or your pastor or whoever, and they
Speaker 1: will be notified. As soon as your device hits a
Speaker 1: porn site, it notifies your mom. Now, come on, tell
Speaker 1: me if there's not a better way for you to
Speaker 1: be motivated not to go to that site knowing your
Speaker 1: mama is about to get an email with the exact
Speaker 1: site that you just saw in the time stamp that
Speaker 1: you did it in. Right, Hey, you want to fight
Speaker 1: this or not? This is what I say. Make war
Speaker 1: on it. Declare war on your sin, because sin, in
Speaker 1: its full maturity leads to death. Don't let this sin
Speaker 1: mature into death because it will kill you like that
Speaker 1: clown in the storm drain. So declare war out loud
Speaker 1: and say I make war on this sin. I decide
Speaker 1: with my own self discipline that I will not do this. Instead,
Speaker 1: I will turn to God. I will accept his mercy,
Speaker 1: see and his grace, and I will look to Jesus
Speaker 1: and what he did on the cross. And that, my friends,
Speaker 1: is repentance. That's what it means to repent. It doesn't
Speaker 1: repentance doesn't mean you're free of sin. It doesn't mean
Speaker 1: you don't slip up, you accidentally do something, or you
Speaker 1: you mess up one day. It's not what that means.
Speaker 1: It means you make war on it. And sometimes you
Speaker 1: lose a battle, but you're still fighting a war and
Speaker 1: you hate it. You hate the sin that lives in you,
Speaker 1: so you want to kill it and turn away from
Speaker 1: it and turn back to God. And it drags you
Speaker 1: back in and you hate it, and you strangle it
Speaker 1: and you turn back to God again. That is the battle,
Speaker 1: the ongoing war of repentance. It is ongoing. It's not
Speaker 1: something that's not a decision you make one time. That's
Speaker 1: why it's so hard for me to go to churches
Speaker 1: when they say that we had so many salvations this year.
Speaker 1: We had three hundred and thirty eight salvations this year.
Speaker 1: You don't know that because because faith is a walk,
Speaker 1: it's a walk of obedience. Repentance is an ongoing thing,
Speaker 1: so the fruit of it takes time, not just one
Speaker 1: declaration at an altar that says I'm a Christian. I
Speaker 1: accepted Jesus, I'm done. No, it's a walk, it's a brotherhood,
Speaker 1: it's a family, it's endurance. Now the Lord saves you
Speaker 1: by grace, but you know that you're saved through the
Speaker 1: fruit of repentance. When you just you begin to develop
Speaker 1: this idea that I can't stand this anymore, can't stand
Speaker 1: living this old way anymore, because it's eating me away
Speaker 1: like acid. It's corroding me. And so my brother, I
Speaker 1: say this fight it. Love you, guys, we'll see you
Speaker 1: next episode. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast.
Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you. Guys. You could help me
Speaker 1: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
Speaker 1: a video.