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Speaker 1: Hey, how you doing.

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Speaker 2: This is Freddie Rodriguez.

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Speaker 3: And I'm Wilman about the rama. Welcome to the Those

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Speaker 3: Amigos podcasts. We are excited for today's episode, indeed, because

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Speaker 3: we have.

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Speaker 2: Who do we have a third Amigama?

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Speaker 1: Who is it? Please, ladies and gentlemen.

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Speaker 3: I know he's gonna sound the horn because it's that

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Speaker 3: he loves to do it, you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there you go.

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Speaker 3: He did it early, but we're gonna just gotta go

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Speaker 3: with it. Uh, everybody, please help me. Welcome one of

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Speaker 3: my dearest sisters in life. I love her so much. Yes,

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Speaker 3: she's one of the most talented people I've ever met

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Speaker 3: in my agree. Her aura is giving super stardom, giving

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Speaker 3: Zion ready given now and next. I concur she's given

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Speaker 3: now and next and next. Annie Gonzalez, he loves that horn.

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Speaker 3: That's like his favorite thing. And I will tell you

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Speaker 3: that we were very excited to have you in this

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Speaker 3: podcasts for many reasons. Some of the conversations we've been

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Speaker 3: having rhyme with the spirit of who you are.

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Speaker 1: A lot of it this.

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Speaker 3: Is about kind of inspiration and dig into like who

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Speaker 3: we really are. But it's really also kind of tapping into.

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Speaker 1: You know, uh.

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Speaker 3: That that who you were versus what you are and

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Speaker 3: where you want to be and you know, so all

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Speaker 3: these conversations are really relevant. But also it's kind of

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Speaker 3: a moment to give you flowers too, you know. And

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Speaker 3: I think this podcast is about making sure you realize

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Speaker 3: that some of us in this community, uh look at

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Speaker 3: you as the future of our culture, and we're very

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Speaker 3: excited to uplift.

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Speaker 1: You on that level.

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Speaker 3: And I'm going to just say a few projects for

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Speaker 3: all of our amazing listeners and everyone who gets to

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Speaker 3: watch us as well. From the early work, let me see,

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Speaker 3: would you say hand to Fight? It was one of

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Speaker 3: those pittible moments for you.

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Speaker 4: Definitely, Yeah, that was like.

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Speaker 3: A moment I was, uh, this is where I met her.

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Speaker 3: I got a chance to do a little cameo on

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Speaker 3: that show. It was on Netflix. It was authentic, it

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Speaker 3: was raw, it was unapologetic, and and that's when the

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Speaker 3: world first got to see Anni Gonzalez. Hand to Fight

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Speaker 3: is available on Netflix now, so you guys, definitely catch

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Speaker 3: up on that. The next big thing that I want

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Speaker 3: everyone to find because she's also on Disney Plus right now.

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Speaker 1: It's flaming hot.

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Speaker 3: The stories of the of the creator of hot Cheetos,

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Speaker 3: and she played the incomparable backbone of the family. The

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Speaker 3: reason why this all was possible was she was the

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Speaker 3: matriarch of that family and uh, you know, Salas played

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Speaker 3: a beautiful character there, Latina. Yes, and then you know,

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Speaker 3: we have driveaway dolls. This is twenty twenty four. That

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Speaker 3: was really really uh incredible cast. Yeah, to say a

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Speaker 3: few Uh, let me see Pedro, Pascal, Matt Damon, all

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Speaker 3: those guys.

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Speaker 1: You know, some of those guys, I think they still

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Speaker 1: work right. Stuff is still the stuff.

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Speaker 3: And then she played Jenny and the Jenny rivera I biopic,

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Speaker 3: which you know, we're also really proud of immortalizing that story.

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Speaker 2: As well, carrying it on your shoulders.

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Speaker 3: And you know, and we're gonna talk about what you

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Speaker 3: got an eggs and when you got out and you

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Speaker 3: got all that and yeah, but say a few words,

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Speaker 3: you know, tell us how are you feeling today?

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Speaker 4: So many words, so many feelings today.

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Speaker 5: No, I'm feeling so great and energized, honestly. I mean,

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Speaker 5: you know, I'm like, first and foremost I'm big fans

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Speaker 5: of the both of you, and then getting to know

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Speaker 5: you throughout the last couple of years. You were actually

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Speaker 5: one of the first people when I started getting my

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Speaker 5: career up and going. You were like, I want to

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Speaker 5: have a zoom with you. Let's talk. Who are you?

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Speaker 5: And I was like, and I remember feeling there was

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Speaker 5: like a sense of safety and like kinship in family

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Speaker 5: to be like, oh, wow, like you care, and you

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Speaker 5: care because you want you know that this crazy industry

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Speaker 5: can throw you any which way. And you wanted me

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Speaker 5: to feel like I had like an anchor when I

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Speaker 5: was out or if I didn't that I could call you,

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Speaker 5: which that was really like humbling and uplifting all at

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Speaker 5: the same time.

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Speaker 4: And then when I got to meet you, I was like,

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Speaker 4: oh my.

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Speaker 1: God, a big fan. I love you.

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Speaker 5: So it's just just I'm really and I've been seeing

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Speaker 5: everybody else on the podcast and I was like, those

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Speaker 5: are my friends.

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Speaker 2: I wonder if delivery, But no, where are you from?

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Speaker 2: Where were you born?

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Speaker 4: Born and raised in East Lee, East LA.

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Speaker 1: In East l A.

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Speaker 5: I grew up off of like Whittier and Atlantic, so

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Speaker 5: like so like you have East Los Angeles, like Greater

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Speaker 5: East Los Angeles and you have the actual city East

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Speaker 5: Los Angeles, and that's where I grew up because people

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Speaker 5: will be like, oh you mean Boyle Heights.

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Speaker 4: Oh you mean city terraces. I'm like, no, I mean

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Speaker 4: straight up East La.

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Speaker 1: Right, that's right.

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Speaker 2: And are your folks and your grand your grandparents are

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Speaker 2: they also La? Yeah? So where do you ethnically? Where

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Speaker 2: are they from?

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Speaker 5: So I'm Mexican? Well, okay, so I'm Mexican. People always

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Speaker 5: like save something for everyone else, but I really am

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Speaker 5: all this stuff.

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Speaker 4: Okay.

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Speaker 5: I'm Mexican, Guatemalan, French, Italian and German. And let me

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Speaker 5: tell you what it is.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 5: So my mom, her dad is from what Mala and

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Speaker 5: he's half Guatemala and half German. The more missionaries were

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Speaker 5: out there and you know, they impregnated my they did,

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Speaker 5: and then they had him and half German, half bottom

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Speaker 5: all the baby.

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Speaker 4: And then he met.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean by impregnant?

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Speaker 4: So let me explain it.

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Speaker 1: Let me.

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Speaker 5: So then he met my grandma, my grandma Francis, who

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Speaker 5: is my obviously my mom's mom, and they had they

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Speaker 5: have my mommy and so she's my grandma's Mexican and Basque.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow.

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Speaker 5: And then on my dad's side, both of his parents

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Speaker 5: are from Mexico and my grandpa's from Halischool and then

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Speaker 5: my grandma is from Tijuana.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, that's so crazy.

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Speaker 3: I thought you were for a second you would be

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Speaker 3: like did my twenty three and me and I find out.

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Speaker 4: I also did that.

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Speaker 2: We were having an interesting conversation earlier, and you were saying,

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Speaker 2: I've been doing this since I was a kid, since

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Speaker 2: i was like nine years old, right, like, like, how

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Speaker 2: does someone from East La? Right, and this is and

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Speaker 2: this is coming from somebody who grew up in the

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Speaker 2: inner city of Chicago, right where we're opportunities for people

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Speaker 2: who grow up like us, they're not vast, right, how

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Speaker 2: does an opportunity come up for someone like you who

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Speaker 2: La East La at nine years old?

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Speaker 1: For that matter?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I came out of the I'm very fortunate to

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Speaker 5: say that I came out of the womb knowing that

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Speaker 5: this is all I've ever wanted to do. My dad

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Speaker 5: was an actor, started acting at like five, singing and

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Speaker 5: acting at five. Wow.

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Speaker 3: An incredible musician by the way, Oh really, And they

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Speaker 3: sing together and they played together.

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Speaker 1: Which is like, wow, you know, really beautiful in La

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Speaker 1: in La.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And what's your father's name?

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Speaker 5: His name is Gabriel Gonzalez band called, and it's so

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Speaker 5: I'm actually going to be singing with them more now.

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Speaker 5: It's it's been a really beautiful journey with me and him,

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Speaker 5: but five years old doing movies in Mexico and him.

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Speaker 5: My dad and my mom met at Hollywood High She

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Speaker 5: always wanted to be an actress and do all of this,

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Speaker 5: but I don't think she had she'd even say it

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Speaker 5: self proclaimed she didn't have the confidence to go out

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Speaker 5: there and do it. But you meet her and she's

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Speaker 5: just so cute and bubbly and adorable, and she totally

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Speaker 5: could have.

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Speaker 4: But they had me.

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Speaker 5: I was their little love child at twenty three, and

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Speaker 5: when my mom was pregnant with me, my dad was

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Speaker 5: doing do you guys know the movie Vida Loca? Yeah,

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Speaker 5: of course, So my dad is in that movie.

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Speaker 2: He's in that movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, who does he

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Speaker 2: playing that movie?

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Speaker 4: He plays a little sleepy, a little sleepy sleepy and

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Speaker 4: dad though he's like a music the Oh my god,

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Speaker 4: thank he's so much.

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Speaker 3: I mean that was kind of the same story for

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Speaker 3: everybody in that movie. Though they were like real actors.

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Speaker 5: They were and yeah, I've been a couple, like straight up,

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Speaker 5: straight up yeah, straight up from But you can't.

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Speaker 3: Fake their eyeliner with the sauce, can't. You got to

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Speaker 3: get the authentic guyliners.

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Speaker 4: And those were the girls.

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Speaker 5: Those girls were my favorite in the film because I'm like, yo,

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Speaker 5: they ain't acting.

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Speaker 2: You can feel that.

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Speaker 1: You can feel that.

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Speaker 2: So your papa was an actor.

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Speaker 5: Papa was an actor, and I think it was just

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Speaker 5: in my bones and my blood.

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Speaker 4: My mom and my dad.

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Speaker 5: Split up shortly after they had me. And so this

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Speaker 5: is the poetic justice that I'm about to speak about.

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Speaker 5: How he's saying me and my dad are really close.

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Speaker 5: Now we didn't, We weren't really in each other's lives

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Speaker 5: for the better part of like twenty seven issuares Wow.

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Speaker 5: But we both have done our work on ourselves, and

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Speaker 5: now it's an interesting thing that music is bringing us

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Speaker 5: back together.

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Speaker 3: Picking up where you kind of left off, but then

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Speaker 3: also like building a new report.

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Speaker 5: And create really understanding that like all the things that

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Speaker 5: didn't make sense with my mom. Even my siblings tell me,

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Speaker 5: they're like, you are so much like dad, and it's

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Speaker 5: crazy nature versus nurture.

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Speaker 4: And that's one of my best friends. Like, I love that, man.

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Speaker 3: I got a chance to see you guys perform together,

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Speaker 3: and it's just like I want that with my daughter.

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Speaker 1: I want to be able to do that my daughter.

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Speaker 3: But you know, I don't know how long she's going

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Speaker 3: to be singing in Kanto songs, so I can really

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Speaker 3: be doing that.

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Speaker 2: It's in her future, man, I see it.

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Speaker 3: But how how so how how did you turn your

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Speaker 3: Easter a story into into one of contributor in Hollywood?

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Speaker 1: How does that? How does that work?

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Speaker 3: Because you think about all of our perspective journeys, we

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Speaker 3: had very unlikely situations that could actually lead to what

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Speaker 3: it is, you know, and some of us decided we're

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Speaker 3: gonna get trained and we're gonna get the tools, you know,

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Speaker 3: and then we're gonna go get noticed. But how did

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Speaker 3: you how did you aim to get noticed?

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Speaker 4: It's so weird.

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Speaker 5: I so as a little kid, you know, you go,

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Speaker 5: they have like these mole searches and stuff, and everybody

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Speaker 5: always tell my mom like showcases. Yeah, the show right,

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Speaker 5: it's all a scam, y'all. Don't fall for it, Okay.

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Speaker 1: For commercials, say yeah, the first thing.

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Speaker 4: To pay five thousand dollars.

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Speaker 2: I know that story.

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Speaker 1: By the way, I did it at an lax Skilton

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Speaker 1: oh yeah.

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Speaker 3: I did one of those showcases when I was seventeen, sixteen, seventeen, Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so good anyway, Hey, but listen, there's a lesson

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Speaker 5: and you learn and then you're like, Okay, at least

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Speaker 5: I know I can do this, right. So they would

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Speaker 5: come up to my mom all the time, but my

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Speaker 5: mom already knew agent, my dad's agent. So we went

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Speaker 5: to them, I think when I was like seven or eight,

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Speaker 5: and at the time they were like, she has a

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Speaker 5: weak eye, she's a little chunky, she doesn't sing loud enough,

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Speaker 5: like I don't know. My mom was like, look that, like,

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Speaker 5: we're not bringing her here. So a couple of years

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Speaker 5: went by and then we went back and I had

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Speaker 5: all the confidence and spunk and so they signed me

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Speaker 5: and I had my.

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Speaker 4: First audition ever for Without a Trace. I booked it.

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Speaker 1: How are you nine?

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Speaker 2: You were nine?

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Speaker 4: Without Without a Trace?

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 5: So the way that I was raised, I was raised

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Speaker 5: mostly with my mom's side of the family, and they're

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Speaker 5: all six generation, right, Mexican American Chicanas and because we

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Speaker 5: were so and I think a part of it it's like,

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Speaker 5: you know, my grandma used to get her butt kicked

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Speaker 5: in high school for speaking Spanish, so we never learned

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Speaker 5: how to speak Spanish.

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Speaker 4: We also, you know, in order to assimilate.

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Speaker 5: It's like, you don't really feed these ideas that you

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Speaker 5: can't because you're a woman, you can't because you're brown.

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Speaker 5: I never heard that growing up, and so I think

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Speaker 5: I always walked in with that sort of confidence, like

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Speaker 5: I'm just talented, like I grew up watching Bett Midler

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Speaker 5: and Barbara Streissan.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm a Jewish woman on the inside. What

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Speaker 4: are you talking about? Ideas?

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Speaker 5: Like so, and then you know, you book your first audition, like,

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Speaker 5: who's gonna tell you shit?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 4: At that point? Can I curse? I'm cursing?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yes you do? Yeah here, Oh you.

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Speaker 4: Said it too, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Damn.

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Speaker 4: So I think it kind of just was the ripple

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Speaker 4: effect from the cauld You just say damn as your

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Speaker 4: bad word.

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Speaker 1: What the heck?

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Speaker 4: I'm flabbergast.

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Speaker 1: Oh hell oh god, I expected that from Danny's year.

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Speaker 3: Uh yeah, story for you.

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Speaker 1: I was thinking about another fake.

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Speaker 2: This is just a woman in our perpetual state of

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Speaker 2: high school.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, we just don't let go. You should.

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Speaker 4: That's why you guys look so young.

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Speaker 1: What was that experience like night.

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Speaker 2: Who was on Without a Trace?

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Speaker 1: What's her name?

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Speaker 2: Ye, it's your network.

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Speaker 4: You should go please never before my time?

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Speaker 1: My first time was four Stars. Do you remember who

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Speaker 1: was in four Stars? No?

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Speaker 4: Poppy Montgomery?

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Speaker 1: Okay, was in there when you did it?

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Speaker 2: Right? I did not.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't on it with I was.

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Speaker 1: All right, Eric, Oh my god, I remember that one.

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Speaker 1: I remember. Yeah. My first thing for TV was four Stars. No, No, no, No,

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Speaker 1: four corners?

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Speaker 2: Four corners?

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Speaker 4: Was it a show?

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Speaker 1: It was a drama.

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Speaker 3: It did really well on CBS, and I played an

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Speaker 3: autistic boy that died drowned.

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Speaker 1: That's a different episode after.

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Speaker 2: Without a Trace? Did were your agents?

305
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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 2: Oh, well, hold on a second, Like she booked her

307
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Speaker 2: first audition, like she's you know, we can send her

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Speaker 2: out there and found the pavement and she's going to

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Speaker 2: start booking for us.

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Speaker 1: And wait, did you have an agent? I did? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I was with this uh boutique agency called Stage

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Speaker 4: nine at the time and it still around. I don't

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Speaker 4: think so.

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Speaker 5: I know both of them still, Carol and Fay. They

315
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Speaker 5: were my girl girls, like musical theater heads. They were

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00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,440
Speaker 5: think of like have you seen We've all seen friends

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Speaker 5: Joey Tribanni's agent.

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Speaker 4: Talking like this, always smoking in the house. This is

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Speaker 4: who they want. Honey, you're a little fat right now,

320
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Speaker 4: but that's okay. That could work for you in your advantage.

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Speaker 4: Like this is how they would talk to me at

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Speaker 4: like nine.

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Speaker 5: Ten, and I'd be like, Okay, thank god, I'm developing

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Speaker 5: as a young woman.

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Speaker 1: I'm not.

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Speaker 4: It's okay. But they did and I also too.

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Speaker 5: I mean, the same confidence that I had as a

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Speaker 5: kid I have now, Like you know I was, I

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Speaker 5: was walking in like I could do it, I could

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Speaker 5: do everything, and like I still do that, I feel like,

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Speaker 5: so I think that's what they saw more than anything,

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Speaker 5: Like the tenacity I had, and like the fearlessness, like

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Speaker 5: I've always been a type of person that's like I

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Speaker 5: might fail, but I'm a fucking figure it out. So

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Speaker 5: after we did that, I was on this kid's special

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Speaker 5: called jam x Kids and we had a special on

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Speaker 5: wb Rihanna opened up for us Natasha Bedingfield. It was

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Speaker 5: basically like Think of Kids Incorporated meets the Mickey Mouse Club,

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Speaker 5: and we were trying to get young kids off the

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Speaker 5: couch dancing and like moving their body, and so we

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Speaker 5: had Alison Stoner, we had who's still a very good

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Speaker 5: friend of mine.

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Speaker 4: I'm still friends with everyone.

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Speaker 5: We had like a bunch of different young kids from

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Speaker 5: all type of ethnic backgrounds, and I was They auditioned

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Speaker 5: at least five hundred kids. I was probably the least

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Speaker 5: qualified of anyone, because like I had never taken an

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Speaker 5: acting class, I had never taken a dance class, I

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Speaker 5: had never really taken a singing class. And I booked

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Speaker 5: it off of sheer confidence alone and struggled throughout the

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Speaker 5: whole fucking like rehearsal process. And we would do live shows,

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Speaker 5: and I was the chunkiest one out of the group.

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Speaker 5: Like I remember certain moms at schools coming out to

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Speaker 5: be like, how does it feel to be the fat

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Speaker 5: one in the crew?

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Speaker 1: Is this crazy?

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Speaker 4: At twelve years old?

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Speaker 3: It feels like, especially at the beginning of all of

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Speaker 3: our careers, we've all had certain specific adversities that other

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00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:11,600
Speaker 3: people have put on us, even though we've never seen

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Speaker 3: ourselves in the way that somehow they've described it I.

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Speaker 1: Allowed to be. How do you overcome that?

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Speaker 3: How do you say your opinion is not my opinion

364
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Speaker 3: of myself right? How do you lean into the strength

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Speaker 3: on what you're here to do over the people perception

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Speaker 3: of the box that put you in.

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Speaker 1: Right, And I to explain a little further.

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Speaker 3: You know, when I first started myself, obviously I had

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Speaker 3: an accent, right, They're like, well you got an accent.

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Speaker 1: No one on TV has accents.

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Speaker 3: You're never gonna work right, and like, oh man, okay,

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Speaker 3: And like I was never according to them, like I

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Speaker 3: was not ugly enough and not cute enough. It was

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Speaker 3: like this weird thing when I was a teenager that's

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Speaker 3: like not old enough and not young enough either. You know,

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Speaker 3: it's like there was always something that was put on

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Speaker 3: you by others that you didn't see about yourself. Because

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00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:12,800
Speaker 3: it takes a level of confidence to break through whatever

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00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,800
Speaker 3: walls and lego houses the build in front of you

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00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:18,960
Speaker 3: to actually get to where you're sitting right now. So

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Speaker 3: how do you how do you feel that you because

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Speaker 3: I'm hearing it in your stories and it continues to

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Speaker 3: come up, and it's it's so sobering to know that

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Speaker 3: for a young woman, that's got to be incredibly difficult

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Speaker 3: to navigate and to break as like not just the stigma,

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Speaker 3: but like identity, like that's not what I am.

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Speaker 1: Right at that age too, Right, Like twelve, you said.

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Speaker 5: Dude, Yeah, when you're like developing as a person, like

389
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Speaker 5: your like frontal lobe is not even like your neuro

390
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:50,640
Speaker 5: responders are barely figuring out, like.

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Speaker 1: You might not even have seen it. And the until

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Speaker 1: they kept you know.

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Speaker 5: It was it was I want to say, a combination

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Speaker 5: of a bunch of different things. Like So my mom

395
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:03,600
Speaker 5: was a young mom, but I know for a fact

396
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:07,960
Speaker 5: she was always after some form of consciousness and guidance

397
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Speaker 5: her mom. And the reason I go back to this

398
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Speaker 5: because I really think that our industry, yes, it's talent,

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00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,440
Speaker 5: but how many talented people do you know, just don't

400
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:21,119
Speaker 5: continue because their nervous system doesn't allow them to. Like

401
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,960
Speaker 5: I know plenty of people who are way more gifted

402
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,399
Speaker 5: than I am, but will never do what I'm doing

403
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:30,720
Speaker 5: because they cannot get over the idea of being perceived.

404
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,919
Speaker 5: So my mom, at a young age, she introduced me

405
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Speaker 5: to you guys know the Secret. Yeah, so, okay, the

406
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,280
Speaker 5: book and they they have a movie about it if

407
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,280
Speaker 5: you want. The movie is so cheesy, but it's so good,

408
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,280
Speaker 5: especially if it's like, let me explain this to an

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Speaker 5: eight year old. So my mom made me watch it

410
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:52,240
Speaker 5: at eight years old, and I myself, I think, was

411
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:56,240
Speaker 5: always looking to like finding a parent because my mom

412
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,240
Speaker 5: had me so young. I was here, there, and everywhere.

413
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,159
Speaker 5: I was like talk about being raised by a villa.

414
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,240
Speaker 5: I was raised by a village, which I think is

415
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,679
Speaker 5: a really powerful thing because I got to have so

416
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:09,760
Speaker 5: many different perspectives than just one head of household perspective.

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Speaker 5: I feel like this is going to be a long

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00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:12,800
Speaker 5: winded answer to get.

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Speaker 1: Hey, welcome to a podcast.

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Speaker 5: Like even myself, I was raised Mormon with my mom

421
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Speaker 5: till I was about aid. Yeah, Mexican Mormons. What's up,

422
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:29,520
Speaker 5: Jack Mormon? Now drinking coffee? That's all right, Yeah, that's yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I was raised Mormon, and then we left the Mormon Church,

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Speaker 5: and then I myself was still looking for some sort

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Speaker 5: of guidance and parental figures. And so then I myself

427
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 5: converted to Catholicism, did all my sacraments, the whole rigamarole.

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Speaker 4: So I think the long and.

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00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,919
Speaker 5: Short of it was introduced to the secret got me

430
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,840
Speaker 5: thinking about how does my brain work and what is

431
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Speaker 5: the reality that I'm creating. And one of the things

432
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,399
Speaker 5: that stuck out to me even as a kid was

433
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Speaker 5: if you want something from someone stop pointing out the

434
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,879
Speaker 5: that they're not doing, and start highlighting the thing that

435
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,639
Speaker 5: they are doing right so they can do more of

436
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:08,440
Speaker 5: that correct. Very simple, but I really took that to heart,

437
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,280
Speaker 5: and as a young kid, my mom also instilled in me.

438
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,480
Speaker 5: I didn't know the difference yet, but as a kid

439
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,480
Speaker 5: when I would get you know, I was bullied a

440
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,680
Speaker 5: lot in school. I had to wear eyepatch in second grade.

441
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,239
Speaker 5: Like it just was an experience. So like struggle has

442
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,320
Speaker 5: been a part of it for the from the beginning

443
00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 5: for me, you know, not having my dad around. I

444
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,640
Speaker 5: remember I'd go to friends houses and their dad would

445
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Speaker 5: be there and I'd be like, wait.

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Speaker 4: Your dad lives here. That's so weird.

447
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,919
Speaker 5: Like there was just certain things that might that it

448
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,359
Speaker 5: was just my norm and my baseline. So to me,

449
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,520
Speaker 5: I'm like, it's not hard if that's my baseline. But

450
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,400
Speaker 5: if I look at it like it's hard, then it's

451
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,560
Speaker 5: gonna be hard. But if I look at it like

452
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,720
Speaker 5: it's a part of the dance, then I just wear

453
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 5: that shit and I learn how to flow smoothly while

454
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,560
Speaker 5: carrying tons of bricks so that when it finally comes off,

455
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,120
Speaker 5: I'm ready to run the races.

456
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 4: So I think be given that sort.

457
00:20:55,760 --> 00:21:00,480
Speaker 5: Of ideas as as a foundation as a kid. I've

458
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:04,199
Speaker 5: taken that with me into adulthood that even when it

459
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:07,879
Speaker 5: feels like the world doesn't want me, I remember I

460
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:10,040
Speaker 5: am the world and I tell the world.

461
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 4: What it wants.

462
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:14,760
Speaker 5: So this idea right like fighting through these things. One

463
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:18,200
Speaker 5: of my first managers at so I took a break

464
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 5: from acting from sixteen to about twenty three. There was

465
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,439
Speaker 5: a lot of family things going on, and when I

466
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,400
Speaker 5: decided to get back in again, it was the same thing.

467
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 5: Started booking like this. But before that I was with

468
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 5: this manager and she was like saying, like, you you're

469
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:35,280
Speaker 5: not thin enough to play the leading female Anginu, You're

470
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 5: not fat enough to play the best friend, You're not

471
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,520
Speaker 5: this enough. And I write all these things and instead

472
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,400
Speaker 5: of looking at this like this is a bad thing.

473
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 4: My whole life, people had talked about my weight. I

474
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:45,960
Speaker 4: was always a chunky kid.

475
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,359
Speaker 5: There was a lot of things that happened to me

476
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 5: as a kid that made me want to gain weight

477
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 5: to hide.

478
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 1: That.

479
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 4: When she was telling me this, I was finally in.

480
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:57,199
Speaker 5: This space of you know when you go to that

481
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:59,879
Speaker 5: height of consciousness and you're like, none of this is

482
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,399
Speaker 5: like I can shape shift right, Like I am not

483
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 5: these things.

484
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:08,600
Speaker 3: I'm going to walk if I stand still.

485
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,640
Speaker 5: And I used to do shit like every today, everyone

486
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 5: is going to give me something free. I'm going to

487
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 5: get something free wherever I go and it would happen.

488
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,880
Speaker 5: And so you get little things like that, and it's

489
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 5: like what you believe is true. I'm like, I'm going

490
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,800
Speaker 5: to be a movie star. My first audition I booked,

491
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 5: So I'm like, oh shit, I create this ship. I

492
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 5: create this shit. So when a homegirl tells me you

493
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:29,760
Speaker 5: need to lose weight, you need to do all these things.

494
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 5: I did it because I started to look at all

495
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:36,360
Speaker 5: of this as just a meat suit, like I am

496
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:39,160
Speaker 5: influenced by my culture and I am I'm not negated,

497
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 5: like I'm Latina, I'm proud, I'm all these things. But

498
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 5: I'm also an artist and a dreamer and a healer.

499
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 5: And so I started to look at it like, how

500
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,360
Speaker 5: how do I get out of the confines of this

501
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 5: bullshit structure that does not.

502
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:55,720
Speaker 4: Work for anyone like us?

503
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:57,959
Speaker 5: If we believe and we're living in the structure, how

504
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 5: do I get out of the matrix. I'm not gonna

505
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 5: fight the industry by saying industry, you suck, you don't

506
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 5: want me, Like, then they're just gonna be like, yeah,

507
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,439
Speaker 5: I don't like it earned my mind, right, I'm going

508
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,639
Speaker 5: to go into these spaces thinking that I need to

509
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,120
Speaker 5: prove something versus going in there and being like I'm

510
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 5: the proof, right, And I think it's just been a

511
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 5: it's been a daily practice, hourly, minute by minute practice

512
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 5: of that, like I don't think I'm ever gonna arrive,

513
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 5: but I've also learned that that's a part of what

514
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 5: does that mean?

515
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm ever gonna go into arrive.

516
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 5: Meaning like you know how you're like how how did

517
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:38,160
Speaker 5: you come to this realization of like this confidence while

518
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 5: everybody's telling me this, that and the other that it's

519
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 5: not going to work or you should change this, Like

520
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:46,479
Speaker 5: we all get these these narratives that are and I

521
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 5: think for me, meaning I'm never gonna arrive fully is

522
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,600
Speaker 5: is I don't know if I'll ever realize that I

523
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 5: then did it, that I did it, But I think

524
00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,040
Speaker 5: that that's the most fun part about it.

525
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,639
Speaker 3: But it's also ambition, right, It's also like, you know,

526
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 3: the the artist that's always in a search of something higher,

527
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 3: you know, just as like you climb a mountain, you realize,

528
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 3: oh wait a minute, there's an actually taller one, you know,

529
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 3: And so it's it's a really interesting thing to think about.

530
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:19,160
Speaker 3: I mean, we all have that gene otherwise we will

531
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 3: stop fighting in this industry for a long time, right like,

532
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 3: and and it's a very important thing. It's important listen.

533
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 3: You know, there's always gonna be something, you know, worth climbing.

534
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 5: That's why when you know, we were in your office

535
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 5: the other day and I'm looking at this, I'm like,

536
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,920
Speaker 5: and I was telling I was telling you earlier. I'm like,

537
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,679
Speaker 5: I've only dreamt this far, Like I've just wanted to

538
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 5: do movies and be able to live by myself in

539
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:44,679
Speaker 5: a little two bedroom home that looks over you know,

540
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:45,240
Speaker 5: the city.

541
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:46,680
Speaker 4: And now I'm there and I'm.

542
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:50,119
Speaker 5: Like, ah shit, there's more like what And then I

543
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 5: come here and I'm like, do you remember?

544
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 4: I Like we were going through like your drawer of

545
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 4: all this cool things.

546
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,720
Speaker 5: I'm like, the first thing I asked him was how

547
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 5: do you prepare your nervous system for this? And you

548
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 5: were like I didn't. I just kept going. And so

549
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 5: that was a new gift for me of like, oh, yeah,

550
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 5: like you can't. Maybe like you can try, Like I

551
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,440
Speaker 5: can think I can have all the answers and read

552
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 5: all the books and do all the spiritual shit. But

553
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 5: I gotta do it, yeah, Like I gotta stop freaking

554
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 5: talking about it and just do it.

555
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 3: One of the things that kind of comes back to

556
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 3: me in those moments is is everyone there's a philosophy

557
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 3: that says, hey, pause, look around, take it de breath, right.

558
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 1: Take inventory. I don't have that gene. I don't.

559
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 3: I don't see what you see around me because my

560
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 3: eyes are like five. Is that we produce that you're

561
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 3: started in, right, Like my head is already there. And

562
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 3: what's interesting is that longer you do this, the more

563
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,480
Speaker 3: you realize.

564
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,640
Speaker 1: That you're creative hunger.

565
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:16,440
Speaker 3: And that could be the same for business, for education,

566
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 3: for entrepreneurship, for just you know, emotional achievement. The more

567
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:28,400
Speaker 3: that you stop, you almost stop your practice.

568
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,399
Speaker 5: Right wait, Like the more that like you stop in

569
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 5: the introm to like take stock fully and I think.

570
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 1: It's important to take a deep breath.

571
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:41,439
Speaker 3: But you know, as artists, we are continuing to mold

572
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 3: and if if you stop for a second, you might

573
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 3: forget what shape was next, right.

574
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:50,960
Speaker 4: So like, slow down, don't stop.

575
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 3: You can slow down to appreciate, give yourself grace and

576
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 3: enjoy it.

577
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 2: Right.

578
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 3: But if you woke up this morning, you're already winning,

579
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,119
Speaker 3: which means how much more winning you.

580
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,439
Speaker 1: Gotta do today, you know?

581
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,280
Speaker 3: Right, So like if you've still got hours in the day,

582
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 3: how much more winning you want to do?

583
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:05,880
Speaker 2: Right?

584
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 3: It's has been the philosophy for our show here for

585
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,439
Speaker 3: you know, when we always talked about that. But to

586
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,880
Speaker 3: your point, like, you know, if a shark stops swimming,

587
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 3: it dies, right, So I think the biggest and most

588
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:22,919
Speaker 3: important factor of that, you know, that primal instinct is

589
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:27,800
Speaker 3: that if you're a hunter for creativity, you gotta keep hunting.

590
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 3: You know, you gotta keep get them up in the morning.

591
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:32,920
Speaker 3: You got to keep you know, loading up your bag.

592
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 3: You got to keep you know, lining up your ammunition.

593
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,639
Speaker 3: You gotta go out there and look for you know,

594
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:38,919
Speaker 3: look what you're going to bring home at the.

595
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 1: End of the day.

596
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 3: Right, And that's the moment of pride. That's when you

597
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 3: can stop, take a deep breath and enjoy it, and

598
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 3: then you get up in the morning you keep molding again.

599
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:46,880
Speaker 2: Right.

600
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,440
Speaker 3: But I think that you're what you're what you're describing

601
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 3: is is such something I think all of us can take,

602
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 3: you know, past for a second and take in the

603
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,120
Speaker 3: fact that, like, you know, sometimes we don't give ourselves

604
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 3: grace that we're doing what we said we're going to

605
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 3: be doing, you know, but it is part of the

606
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 3: entrepreneurial heart that says, like there's always something bigger out there, Right, Freddie,

607
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 3: how do you how do you take pass? I like,

608
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 3: how do you because you've always your right, your.

609
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:19,040
Speaker 1: Direct you you you do it all?

610
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:21,359
Speaker 3: Like how how does how does that journey been like

611
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 3: for you?

612
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 2: You know, it's it's very similar to like what you're

613
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 2: you were just talking. That's why I'm really absorbing everything

614
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 2: and even like you talk about your nervous system and

615
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:32,600
Speaker 2: just like a lot of like what you're saying, you know,

616
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 2: especially where And this is why I even asked you

617
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 2: this initially, Right, I don't know if it had something

618
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,400
Speaker 2: to do with like our environment and how we grew

619
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 2: up and like if that informed are sort of this

620
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 2: this like unstoppable belief in ourselves, right because we because

621
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 2: we came from the backgrounds that we came from. But

622
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 2: I'm but but but I always looked at it the

623
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 2: same way. In my early journey, I was it was

624
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 2: very similar to yours, you know. It was it was

625
00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:59,960
Speaker 2: very much like, this is what I'm going to do,

626
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 2: and that's it. And every fiber of my being is

627
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 2: saying that this is what I'm gonna do, right, And

628
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 2: so every movement, every thought, every step I took it

629
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 2: was it was with the belief that this is what

630
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 2: I was going to do, and and it manifested itself.

631
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 2: But you you talked a lot about this is the

632
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 2: second time I heard you bring up You're talking about

633
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 2: nervous system, Like why do you keep bringing that up?

634
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 2: Like what is it about the nervous system in particular?

635
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 2: And I'm very curious because that's something that I've really

636
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 2: been concentrating on in the last five years. I never

637
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 2: even knew anything really that that the nervous system even

638
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 2: existed in that capacity or or I've been doing a

639
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 2: real deep dive, like like why is it that you

640
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 2: keep talking about it and bringing it up.

641
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 5: I grew up in a very volatile household. My mom

642
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 5: grew up in a very volatile household. Like it's it's

643
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 5: you know, epigenetics is a real thing, right, So like

644
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 5: you can have something that your ancestors went through that

645
00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 5: you don't even know why you're afraid of this thing,

646
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 5: but you a and you've never experienced it, but you

647
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 5: come across it and you freeze. So for me, the

648
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 5: way my nervous system was set up, I you know

649
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 5: how they have like fight flight, freeze or fawn response.

650
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 5: I'm a freezer and I'm a fauner. Now I would

651
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,320
Speaker 5: see the way that some of the people raised me,

652
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,960
Speaker 5: how they would raise me and tell me what was right,

653
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 5: what was wrong, what was hard, what was easy, and

654
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 5: they look so fucking unhappy that even as a little kid,

655
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 5: I'm like, that don't seem right. And I couldn't pinpoint

656
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 5: it yet until I went to therapy at like twenty

657
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 5: I think I was like twenty six. I was doing henhified.

658
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 5: I had a boyfriend, we were living together. I was

659
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 5: so depressed. My nervous system wasn't set up for safety.

660
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 5: When it felt easy, I like he would sometimes come

661
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 5: to ha hug me and I please don't, please don't

662
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 5: touch me, and I'd start shaking and I'd start crying.

663
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 5: When I'd get into conflict, I didn't I never felt

664
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 5: safe in my house.

665
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 4: I wasn't.

666
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 5: I was, and it you know, no shade on anyone.

667
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 5: It was just the life, right, It was just the experience.

668
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 5: And now we're learning a new one. But at the time,

669
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 5: my big feelings weren't welcomed, so I didn't even know

670
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 5: how to fucking have them. Like an opinion, right, like

671
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 5: a preference was like, oh, why do you like to

672
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 5: do that thing?

673
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:23,480
Speaker 4: And then I'd be like, oh, yeah, that's stupid.

674
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 5: I don't want to do that because I was how

675
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:27,719
Speaker 5: I grew up was because I was babysit a lot

676
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 5: by different people.

677
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 4: It was like anti behave, and so I knew.

678
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 5: I learned early on, if I can make you love

679
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 5: me and if I can be the most charming person

680
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 5: in the room, you'll take care of me, right, right.

681
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 5: And I had to get out of that because nobody

682
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 5: makes good work by being a fucking people pleaser, right.

683
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 4: So for me the.

684
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 5: Last five years now in this space, having to really

685
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 5: as we know when we're when we're doing our job,

686
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,480
Speaker 5: we have to be fully present. I didn't know how

687
00:31:56,480 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 5: to do that. So I'm twenty six doing tenthified going

688
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 5: back home every day after shooting sobbing.

689
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 4: I'm good.

690
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:07,760
Speaker 5: They're good, I'm gonna get fired. Why I didn't think

691
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 5: I was good enough because my whole life people told

692
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 5: me like it was like the running joke was Annie

693
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 5: wants to be an actress.

694
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 4: Okay, Like my cousins would.

695
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 5: Be like, you think you could do a watch, I

696
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:20,440
Speaker 5: could do it, skippy peanut butter, and they would make

697
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 5: fun of me. Like my whole family. I was called

698
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 5: fatty Annie, right, like it's the thing. But when you're

699
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 5: a young girl and you and I had no siblings

700
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 5: in the household and everybody was mean to me, or

701
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 5: this was my perception at the time, it was very victimhood.

702
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 5: It's I'm, you know, fucking nine, ten, twelve, like whatever.

703
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 5: So it was very much like that space. And I

704
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 5: was depressed, having very deep suicidal thoughts doing this show

705
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 5: where everybody's like, you're killing Annie, You're finally doing it.

706
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:54,080
Speaker 5: I'm telling my mom I'm stressed, and she's like stressed

707
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 5: about what because she didn't get it right?

708
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 2: And so do you think that their compliments was was

709
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:03,480
Speaker 2: sort of like crashing against your nerves because your nervous

710
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 2: system was telling you something else, and so them telling

711
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,280
Speaker 2: you you were doing great was the opposite of what

712
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 2: you were used to feeling, or like I'm trying to

713
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 2: get to the bottom of why you felt it.

714
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 4: Was like it was like when there's so many layers

715
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 4: to this.

716
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 5: But I think I so the reason why I stopped

717
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 5: acting at sixteen was my mom's oldest sister.

718
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 4: My the idity was my mom.

719
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 5: My mom was really young, so a lot of the

720
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 5: time during the week of school, I was with her

721
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 5: right and she would babysit me and blah blah blah,

722
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 5: And you know, I lived with them like probably let's say,

723
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 5: fifty percent of the time. And she passed away when

724
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 5: I was sixteen, So like the foundation of safety that

725
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 5: I knew was ripped under me, and so I never

726
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:51,000
Speaker 5: after that.

727
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 4: It took me a while.

728
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 5: Now I have, I've learned how to reach out to

729
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:55,880
Speaker 5: my mom and other mythas and other people in my

730
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:57,760
Speaker 5: family and be like I'm taking care of But it

731
00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 5: took me a long time to find my footing. And

732
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 5: I think that I didn't know where my foundation was anymore.

733
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 5: Like I was like, nobody's gonna have my back, nobody's

734
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:08,400
Speaker 5: gonna take care of me, nobody's gonna this, Like nobody

735
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,279
Speaker 5: understands me, nobody's curious to understand me. And then you

736
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 5: do this thing and you're a product, but you don't

737
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,879
Speaker 5: know you're a product yet, And so.

738
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:16,399
Speaker 2: I was.

739
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,840
Speaker 5: Yo, okay, so hind if I just came out the

740
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 5: first season, I'm starting to get recognized.

741
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 4: I'm out in the world and I'm from the hood.

742
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:28,200
Speaker 4: Like I'm like, I'm an inner.

743
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,799
Speaker 5: City girl, right, so people be looking at me and

744
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:36,400
Speaker 5: I'd be like what like and they'd be like sorry,

745
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:38,880
Speaker 5: like you you're on that show, right, and I'd be like,

746
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 5: oh yeah. So then me and my best friend we

747
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 5: ended up going on a vacation and I'm like, when

748
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 5: I'm here, don't call me.

749
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 1: By my name.

750
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 4: My name is love. Like I don't know what I am,

751
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 4: Like nobody knew how I was in.

752
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 5: But I was going through this like existential, like my

753
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 5: dreams are coming true. Someone's gonna die, I'm gonna die,

754
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 5: Like it felt that heavy, and I did. I had

755
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 5: to died of myself. I had to have a freaking

756
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:06,280
Speaker 5: ego death. And I feel like we're all like you.

757
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:06,480
Speaker 4: You know what I mean?

758
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:08,439
Speaker 5: And then and then it was like right after that,

759
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 5: then it was heentified and then there was all these

760
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:12,880
Speaker 5: I mean not hentified. Then it was flaming hot, and

761
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:14,360
Speaker 5: then it just felt like it was all back to

762
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:17,360
Speaker 5: back and I had I hadn't.

763
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 4: I didn't know who to talk to.

764
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:21,239
Speaker 3: You also wear and equipped for that type of frequency, right,

765
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 3: because you kind of work so long to get that

766
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 3: one hit and then you're like have that experience it

767
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,719
Speaker 3: ends and then quickly right after you get to the

768
00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 3: next one, and like you know, the mirage is like,

769
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 3: oh man, this is like this is like a lot

770
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:35,920
Speaker 3: or it's just like, okay, the engine's going right, like

771
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 3: it's perspective.

772
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:38,879
Speaker 5: You don't know where to go, And I didn't have

773
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,799
Speaker 5: anybody around me, like even though you had reached out,

774
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 5: I didn't know what questions to ask you, Like I

775
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 5: didn't know how to approach, like, hey, can you help me,

776
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 5: I'm nervous right or I'm working with Eva. And she

777
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 5: was also also has been a great mentor woman. Oh

778
00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 5: my gosh. When we did our whole press run, she

779
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 5: would sit next to me and she would just talk

780
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 5: shop with me. And I didn't like, like, you know,

781
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:00,600
Speaker 5: have fun with this and learn this and make sure

782
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 5: you try this out. But I still didn't know the

783
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 5: questions to ask her because there still felt like this

784
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 5: disconnect of like she seems so happy and she has

785
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,839
Speaker 5: it together. I don't want to bring her down with

786
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,239
Speaker 5: my like I'm scared. I'm really depressed. I don't think

787
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 5: I can do it. I don't think I'm pretty enough.

788
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 4: I don't.

789
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:17,120
Speaker 5: It was all of these things all at once. All

790
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 5: of the bad things that anybody had ever told me

791
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 5: about myself were the loudest voices.

792
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:24,799
Speaker 2: And do you feel like that was coming to the

793
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:28,719
Speaker 2: surface because you were becoming more famous and people were

794
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:31,280
Speaker 2: your work was getting recognized.

795
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 5: Like what I was like, They're going to realize I'm

796
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 5: a fraud. Sure makes sense, right, I was like, they're

797
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:39,160
Speaker 5: going to make sense.

798
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 3: I mean, we all go through that, by the way,

799
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:44,799
Speaker 3: and like it's and it's like, you know, I just

800
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,719
Speaker 3: want to first and foremost, I want to compliment the fact.

801
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:50,799
Speaker 1: That, like you have come to this realizations. You know that.

802
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:58,360
Speaker 3: There's certain elements that undnihilely come with the role of

803
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 3: being an artist. You know, when you're amplifying people's lives

804
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 3: and characters, you connect on such a soulful level. They

805
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 3: know you and you've never met them, right, And I

806
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 3: think you've done a beautiful job. You created such a

807
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,759
Speaker 3: beautiful community for you, and the game is rooting for

808
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:20,719
Speaker 3: you, you know. And I think the actors and you know,

809
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 3: and producers and directors are aware of the sun that

810
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 3: you are, you know. And I think you're beginning to

811
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 3: really trust in that process. You're beginning to trust that

812
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 3: the hours of self work and the hours.

813
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 1: Of reflection.

814
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 3: Plus the hours you put in on the hustle are

815
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 3: finally paying off and they're opening the portal to what's next.

816
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:52,040
Speaker 3: And I think, you know, I know you're a very

817
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 3: spiritual person. I think spirituality works. But I don't want

818
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,040
Speaker 3: to say anything for the sake of being inappropriate. But

819
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,280
Speaker 3: there's a lot of stuff that I could say.

820
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:08,280
Speaker 1: Right now Amen, Amen, Amen is very mean now, Amen, amen,

821
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 1: because you're the amen.

822
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 2: Right.

823
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 1: But I think the point.

824
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 3: I'm making is that you know, you're answering to a

825
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 3: higher energy now and you're performing at a higher you know,

826
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:23,240
Speaker 3: consciousness and and and it's beautiful to see that because

827
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 3: I remember when I first met you and you you

828
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:27,520
Speaker 3: had that, you had.

829
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 1: All of that.

830
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 3: You weren't green in your heart, right, you were green

831
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 3: in the environment because it was just the first time

832
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:38,880
Speaker 3: you were you know, like, where is everything at but

833
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:42,880
Speaker 3: your soul had been seasoned by you know, your once

834
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,719
Speaker 3: and your needs and your inspirations. When you look at

835
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 3: what you're going to go next, what do you what

836
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 3: does that look like?

837
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 5: Oh? Wow, this is the thing I'm saying, the dream.

838
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 5: I have to dream again, to dream.

839
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 4: To die.

840
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 5: God, There's so many things that I want and that

841
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 5: I'm going to get because I mean, you guys know

842
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 5: you've been doing this forever and the way our careers

843
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:14,280
Speaker 5: can span out, can we can have eighteen different lives

844
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:22,000
Speaker 5: in this one? And I really want to do rom coms.

845
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:27,800
Speaker 5: I would kill in that space. There's not enough people

846
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 5: that want to and can deliver with the complex layers

847
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:35,799
Speaker 5: that I believe rom coms had in the nineties. I

848
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 5: think people sometimes go in and they phone it in

849
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:41,800
Speaker 5: because they classified as a rom com. But when Harry

850
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 5: met Sally was a rom com and you watch that

851
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 5: and you're like, now that's a slice of life, delicious

852
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:52,480
Speaker 5: fit what you got? All of these films right that

853
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 5: I grew up, That's those are the movies I grew

854
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:57,080
Speaker 5: up watching. Like my favorite is When Harry Met Sally.

855
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 5: I've told you before. For the Boys that Middler you

856
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 5: have the mirror has two faces.

857
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,520
Speaker 2: Don Yeah.

858
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 5: God, I think what what we need just as humans

859
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 5: is to show our humanity. And I would love to

860
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 5: be the lead of those to showcase that people like

861
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 5: me deserve to just fall in love on screen.

862
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:28,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.

863
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 5: I think those are the stories that I'm here to

864
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 5: tell about the complex layers of what it is and

865
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:38,920
Speaker 5: looks like to be a deeply flawed woman who is

866
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 5: on that journey, you know those That's.

867
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:45,759
Speaker 2: That's an interesting that's an interesting perception because like, and

868
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:47,160
Speaker 2: correct me if I'm wrong, But a lot of the

869
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:50,200
Speaker 2: stuff that you've done, the hint defies the flaming Hots

870
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 2: have been more dramas, right, They've been kind of deeper stuff.

871
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 2: But I've known you for a year or two now,

872
00:40:56,760 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 2: and I've had a couple of encounters, and so by

873
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 2: you saying I'd love to do romantic comedies, I can

874
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 2: totally see it. But I'm saying that from someone who

875
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:10,759
Speaker 2: has spoken to you outside of this right here, I'm like, oh, yeah,

876
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:14,239
Speaker 2: I totally see it. You know, do you feel like

877
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 2: your instrument inside of you is telling us, is screaming

878
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 2: that out as well? Like, like, what made you come

879
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:23,319
Speaker 2: to this realization? That that like, oh, I belong in

880
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:25,440
Speaker 2: the sort of the rom com space, like this is

881
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 2: this is the avenue that I want to take.

882
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 1: Because she's hilarious.

883
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 6: Like I've had we met before a couple of I

884
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 6: remember meeting you at this other thing, and I was

885
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:43,320
Speaker 6: always like, she's quick, man, She's super quick and witty

886
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:48,279
Speaker 6: and like so like you, you naturally possess all of

887
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 6: the attributes that I would see in an actress leading

888
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 6: a romantic comedy.

889
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:57,240
Speaker 1: But I'm saying you any any like you?

890
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 2: You're yourself, you know so. But it's interesting that they're

891
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 2: rejectory of your career is taking you down down drama,

892
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 2: so like like what what what did you come to

893
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:07,360
Speaker 2: some realization that you were just like, hey, this is

894
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 2: part of like my toolbox here that really hasn't been

895
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 2: used as an actress. And I want to go down

896
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:12,720
Speaker 2: this direction.

897
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:19,240
Speaker 5: I think, and I say this without like ego to myself,

898
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,480
Speaker 5: but I think if I'm looking at myself as like

899
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 5: a product and as like like like like a business, right,

900
00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:29,800
Speaker 5: I've lived so much life and I have so much depth.

901
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 5: I always have that, and I think it's and you know,

902
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:37,360
Speaker 5: sometimes it's like detrimental even to myself, but that I

903
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 5: want to leave this world like exhausted, Like I've done

904
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 5: everything that I've could right, like I sing, I dance.

905
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 5: I'm writing a short film like and and not because

906
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 5: I want to like capitalize off of everything. It's not

907
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:51,439
Speaker 5: I'm not trying to turn everything into like a monetary thing.

908
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 5: But I'm like, I feel like God gave me these gifts,

909
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 5: so why not use them to the fullest. And to me,

910
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:02,200
Speaker 5: comedy is so hard, like to do it well, like

911
00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 5: and you guys are you guys have done everything as

912
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:09,240
Speaker 5: well and are like deliciously comedic in a way that's like, damn,

913
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:12,719
Speaker 5: we didn't know that you could do that with that thing.

914
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:14,879
Speaker 5: I mean, I've heard the story about that seventies show

915
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,279
Speaker 5: and them not knowing what this character was gonna be like,

916
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 5: and you show up and every freaking time it's like.

917
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 4: No, no one knows what's coming out of you.

918
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,319
Speaker 5: No one knows how like, and every time you've been

919
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:28,760
Speaker 5: on screen, I'm like, it's such interesting choices. I find

920
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:33,320
Speaker 5: that to be way more difficult than sitting and crying

921
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,719
Speaker 5: and milking a moment. And even in those moments, I

922
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 5: do try and find the layers of complexities because humans

923
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 5: are so interesting. But I do why, I think I

924
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 5: want why I want to do rom com In particular,

925
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:55,400
Speaker 5: being a brown woman, I find it exhausting that the

926
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 5: stories that were allowed to tell come from struggle, strife

927
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:07,040
Speaker 5: or high achievement, right, like, like, I'm just a fucking person. Yeah,

928
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:10,919
Speaker 5: I have been the devil in someone's life and I've

929
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 5: been someone's angel. And I think, as I think, you know,

930
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 5: it feels like a lot of the stories that get

931
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:19,320
Speaker 5: greenlit sometimes films, I mean, even even the ones that

932
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 5: I've been a part of, right, it's big ip and

933
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 5: it's you know, rags to riches or like this, Like

934
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,240
Speaker 5: I'm I I just want to live.

935
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 4: I think that's how.

936
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,879
Speaker 5: Then that's how then politics and policies change and are

937
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 5: made for us by us, if if we are humanized

938
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,760
Speaker 5: on screen and not victor or villain.

939
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:39,760
Speaker 1: Totally agreed.

940
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:44,200
Speaker 3: I also think, uh, you know, you've you've made such

941
00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:47,160
Speaker 3: an impression on community. I you know, I want to

942
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:50,000
Speaker 3: make sure that that's something that we talk about because.

943
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:51,440
Speaker 4: I want to take that with me. This is not

944
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 4: negating that.

945
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 5: This is also showing like y'all is okay, Like you know,

946
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:57,839
Speaker 5: we hear this thing all the time, like I am

947
00:44:57,880 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 5: my ancestor's wildest dreams.

948
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 4: I want the Oscar.

949
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:02,400
Speaker 5: Your answers don't give no fuck about you when a

950
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 5: no Oscar girl, Your answers, why did you buy the

951
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:08,759
Speaker 5: river with your family hanging out, laughing, singing joyfully, Like

952
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 5: That's where I'm going with it, right, Like you don't

953
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 5: have to be a freaking CEO of IBM in order

954
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 5: to be worth a damn. Like I think about this

955
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,279
Speaker 5: all the time. If I did nothing, the people that

956
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,560
Speaker 5: have impacted me the most are the people that have

957
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:26,640
Speaker 5: just bestowed kindness upon me. I remember when I was

958
00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:28,960
Speaker 5: down and out depressed. I'm walking down the street in

959
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 5: North Hollywood and this unhoused man starts talking to me.

960
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:34,399
Speaker 5: I didn't know he was on house at the time.

961
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 5: We just start chatting. He's like, how's your day, girl.

962
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 5: I'm like it's not good. I'm like, I have no idea.

963
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 5: We're chatting, but it's not a good day. And he's like,

964
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 5: talk to me sis. And we're sitting here and I'm like,

965
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:45,959
Speaker 5: is this And he's like, you want some of this joint?

966
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,040
Speaker 4: And I'm like, all right, we're smoking a joint.

967
00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 5: And he's like Hey, I got to catch the buzz

968
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:51,239
Speaker 5: because the shelter's closing soon.

969
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 2: You want to take it with me?

970
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 5: And I was like, and at that moment, I was like, girls,

971
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 5: shut up, like shut up right now. Like but it's that,

972
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 5: it's like this beautiful hue, Like it's what are we

973
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:06,719
Speaker 5: doing in this space of saying giving hierarchy to one

974
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:07,640
Speaker 5: thing and not the other?

975
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,840
Speaker 3: So now, and as we kind of wrap up our conversation,

976
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:15,879
Speaker 3: do you have there's a young Anna Gonzalaz out there

977
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:23,320
Speaker 3: and she's listening to this podcast and she's like, wow,

978
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 3: she's talking to me. What do you want to say

979
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 3: to her?

980
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:39,360
Speaker 5: To any young person out there who is struggling to

981
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 5: love themselves, to understand themselves, the fact that you are

982
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 5: asking these questions means you are halfway there. If you

983
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:50,000
Speaker 5: see a big problem, then you also know that a

984
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:52,799
Speaker 5: big solution is coming. There's going to be a lot

985
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 5: of people along the way that are going to vilify

986
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:58,360
Speaker 5: you for the things that come natural to you. My

987
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:01,800
Speaker 5: whole life, people would say you're too much, you're too loud,

988
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:04,919
Speaker 5: you're to this, And now I make a living doing

989
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:08,760
Speaker 5: all these things that people told me were wrong, bad, ugly,

990
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:13,239
Speaker 5: and stupid about me. Turn the things that if people try,

991
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:17,440
Speaker 5: that people have tried to use against you into your superpower.

992
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 5: It's not about being better a better person. I think

993
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:25,799
Speaker 5: it's about being more of an honest person. And the

994
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:29,319
Speaker 5: more that you can accept who you are, the more

995
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:35,800
Speaker 5: than you can become integrated and actualized and have sovereignty

996
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 5: and full self acceptance to go do whatever purpose is

997
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:39,600
Speaker 5: on your heart.

998
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:46,240
Speaker 3: Well, ladies and gentlemen, does any Gonzales in the house

999
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:48,600
Speaker 3: so happy that you can't do to see us and

1000
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 3: spend a little time with us? And I hope that

1001
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:54,080
Speaker 3: the world continues to discover the beauty that you are.

1002
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:57,480
Speaker 3: And I'm just so proud of you, so proud to

1003
00:47:57,560 --> 00:47:59,720
Speaker 3: have you here, so proud to have you in our lives,

1004
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:02,920
Speaker 3: and excited to watch you in the big one and

1005
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:03,839
Speaker 3: on the small one too.

1006
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 1: Absolutely, yes, no, I'm just so excited.

1007
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:09,319
Speaker 2: So so so grateful to have you here.

1008
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:09,760
Speaker 1: Annie.

1009
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:12,840
Speaker 2: And uh and for those listening, all those producers and

1010
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:18,320
Speaker 2: directors listening out there, Annie is hilarious in real life.

1011
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 2: I know, I know you've seen her in all these

1012
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:27,360
Speaker 2: wonderful dramas. She's killed it. She's proven that she's a

1013
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:31,160
Speaker 2: wonderful actress, but she is absolutely hilarious and I one

1014
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 2: agree with you. I think you should be doing romantic

1015
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 2: comedies as well. Thank you so much for being here.

1016
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:39,400
Speaker 2: I am Freddie Rodriguez.

1017
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 1: And not wilmot Rama. Thank you for listening to podcasts.

1018
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 2: YEA is a production from WV Sound and iHeartMedia's Michael

1019
00:48:56,480 --> 00:49:00,160
Speaker 2: through That podcast Network, hosted by Me, Freddie Rodriguez, and

1020
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 2: Wilmer Valdorama.

1021
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 3: Those Amigos is produced by Cooper Mole and Sophie Spencer Saveles.

1022
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:09,760
Speaker 2: Our executive producers are Wilmervaldurama, Freddie Rodriguez, and Leo Clem

1023
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 2: at WV Sound.

1024
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 3: This show is mixed and mastered by Sean Tracy and

1025
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:17,359
Speaker 3: original music by Madison Devenport and Hala Boy.

1026
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 2: For more podcasts from my Heart, visit the R Heart

1027
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:23,000
Speaker 2: Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your

1028
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:23,760
Speaker 2: favorite shows.

1029
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:24,799
Speaker 1: See you next week.