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Speaker 1: It's a special Halloween edition of Laser Stories. Today we're

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Speaker 1: creatively twisting this entire segment on its head and.

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Speaker 2: Calling it where Wolf story.

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Speaker 3: Big twist from Zombie Stories last year.

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Speaker 1: Where instead of lasers, we're replacing them with bloodthirsty were wolf.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, why is the moon out right?

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Speaker 3: Now?

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Speaker 2: That was intense. Now, this is cutting edge radio people.

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Speaker 1: If we don't win some kind of Innovative Radio Pioneer

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Speaker 1: award for this, we're never gonna win.

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Speaker 2: All the dogs are listening, that's for sure. Thank god.

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Speaker 2: Let's dive in with your first were wolf story. Okay, wow, out.

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Speaker 1: Of Plano, Texas. And what I'm about to tell you

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Speaker 1: is reel.

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Speaker 2: This is not made up.

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Speaker 1: Someone's pet monkey got loose inside a Spirit Halloween store.

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Speaker 2: Seriously, it was like a decoration. I'm like, using the

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Speaker 2: real list.

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Speaker 3: You want to bring the pet monkey along to see

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Speaker 3: what the pet monkey wants to be the Halloween.

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Speaker 1: Totally fair, and this monkey named Peanut Butter spent more

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Speaker 1: than thirty minutes swinging from rafters and poles, crashing into displays,

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Speaker 1: and in general causing.

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Speaker 2: A whole lot of chaos everywhere it went. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 2: going to be.

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Speaker 1: The first, Spirit employees didn't know what to do, so

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Speaker 1: they just kept on working and the customers were still

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Speaker 1: allowed to come in and shop.

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Speaker 2: Okay, according to Monkey, they weren't.

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Speaker 1: Sure it was real because most things in spirit aren't.

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Speaker 3: But those things don't look real either.

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Speaker 2: They have some crazy expensive ones.

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Speaker 3: At what point does it start flinging poo?

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Speaker 2: Well, apparently there was one dead giveaway. It was wearing

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Speaker 2: a diaper.

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Speaker 3: That exactly benefit if it's swinging above your head.

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Speaker 1: So eventually peanut Butter's owner was able to bribe it

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Speaker 1: down with a cookie and regain control of it.

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Speaker 2: Cookies for Peace.

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Speaker 1: Officers say no humans were in danger, although if you

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Speaker 1: did attempt to purchase the monkey, pointing to it up

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Speaker 1: in the rafters and asking if they had any more

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Speaker 1: like it in the back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, curious, George. For Halloween, that was a werewolf story.

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Speaker 2: Your next werewolf story is out of Marble, Vermont. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The guy woke up around three thirty am yesterday and

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Speaker 1: heard some noises in his spare bedroom, and when he

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Speaker 1: went to check it out, he found it was.

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Speaker 2: Straight out of a nightmare. A random clown had broken

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Speaker 2: into his house. It was fast asleep in the bed.

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Speaker 3: I told you clowns aren't for bad you guys. He

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Speaker 3: just wanted a nap, just a terrifying thought.

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Speaker 1: When he gasped out loud, the clowns sat up and

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Speaker 1: told the man to close the doors.

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Speaker 2: We could get more. Shut up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought he's gonna get up and.

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Speaker 2: In the face and run.

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Speaker 1: Instead, the homeowner called the cops.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I bet he got left by his little clown

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Speaker 3: buddies who all piled into the.

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Speaker 2: Car without well.

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Speaker 1: Police showed up and found forty three year old Sean

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Speaker 1: Baker sitting on the toilet in his full clown outfit.

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Speaker 2: He's having a day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and here's a shocker. He also happened to have

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Speaker 1: cocaine on him.

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Speaker 3: I was going for a more low end drug for

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Speaker 3: the clowns.

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Speaker 1: So he was arrested for unlawful trespassing and drug possession.

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Speaker 3: How the clowns get their white face.

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Speaker 1: Surprisingly, it wasn't the only clown who got arrested that night.

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Speaker 1: In a nearby town, one named Soapy tried to hold

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Speaker 1: up a Mini Martin, but got so drunk he vomited

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Speaker 1: on the cashier instead.

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Speaker 2: Man kept it clean. No, that was a werewolf story.

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Speaker 1: Your next Werewolf story, let.

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Speaker 2: Him cook really? Oh my god, hey Chipotle this morning.

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Speaker 1: Out of the candy Cauldron, the parent lifestyle brand named

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Speaker 1: Freeda wanted to make a splash with its brand new

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Speaker 1: candy product this fall, and because it's flu season, they

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Speaker 1: came up with booger inspired gummies called Boogie Bytes Candy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: hold on, let me show you a picture of it

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Speaker 1: so you get the idea.

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Speaker 3: Why do you need these when the kids eat them already? Oh?

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Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, have you been around to elementary school lately.

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Speaker 1: Made with the help of real sick kids, These gummies

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Speaker 1: are sweet, a little salty, you know why, and they're

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Speaker 1: packed with a whole lot.

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Speaker 2: Of vitamin C.

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Speaker 3: Helping they taste test.

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Speaker 1: Boogie Bites Candy is available nationwide for three ninety nine

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Speaker 1: per box. Also from the Candy Cauldron, Twigs is introducing

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Speaker 1: a new.

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Speaker 2: Holiday to the war old.

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Speaker 1: Called hallow Muss Christmas, a combo of Halloween and Chrissy.

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Speaker 2: This is brilliant. They're starting it now one day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, technically Christmas already started like two months.

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Speaker 2: Halloween ends today. Yeah, you've got a mash them together.

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Speaker 1: The combo of Halloween and Christmas has a new treat

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Speaker 1: mashup that comes with two bars, but instead of being

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Speaker 1: identical like in a package of normal twigs, one has

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Speaker 1: a ghoulish green cookie center and the other is shaped

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Speaker 1: like a snowman.

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Speaker 2: That is wild. It looks just like a snowman. I

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Speaker 2: wonder if it tastes better like how the rees is

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Speaker 2: shaped ones.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and if they're even having a hallow must grotto

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Speaker 1: pop up in New York to celebrate this, where Zombie

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Speaker 1: Clause will be available for photo ops that frightening Fans

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Speaker 1: can also expect jump scares and twisted Christmas carols for

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Speaker 1: the event.

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Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure when we're Orgugal once we saw zombie Clause,

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Speaker 3: he was just a couple months away from death. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: the kids have been scarred.

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Speaker 2: So that was a werewolf story or next werewolf story

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Speaker 2: is out. Of the update of the polls, a new poll.

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Speaker 1: Found one in five Americans are totally delusional, at least

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Speaker 1: when it comes to what our pets think of Halloween.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, close to.

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Speaker 1: Twenty percent of people think pets actually really enjoy dressing

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Speaker 1: up in costume for the holiday.

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Speaker 2: No, okay, you know what I'm gonna I saw video

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Speaker 2: of a dog.

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Speaker 1: The other day, the dog would not leave the house

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Speaker 1: until she put on the ferry outfit.

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Speaker 2: For the dog.

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Speaker 1: I'm a little concerned about your algorithm. But even crazier

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Speaker 1: than the twenty percent who think pets enjoy dressing up,

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Speaker 1: a full forty percent think they either like it or

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Speaker 1: at least don't mind it.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, I'm in that park.

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Speaker 3: I allowed the kids to get a to put on.

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Speaker 2: Tula's call.

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Speaker 3: That is it?

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Speaker 2: Because you can't feel it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's we'll take a picture of pets, but they

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Speaker 1: just stand still because they hate it.

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Speaker 3: Take it off you, she hides.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, the pole didn't distinguish between cats and dogs,

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Speaker 1: but obviously dogs are a tad bit more receptive to costumes,

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Speaker 1: and a third of Americans have admitted to dressing up

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Speaker 1: as a pet before or say they plan to this year.

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Speaker 1: The most popular animal costumes people like to wear are

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Speaker 1: sexy lion, skanky cats, and confused squirrel.

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Speaker 2: Squirrel, Where did I get these nuts from? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Coming in at honorable mention is a monkey gripping a

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Speaker 1: rather large banana.

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Speaker 2: To me, that's very curious, But I'm curious. What about

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Speaker 2: turtles again? At the very bottom of the list, but

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Speaker 2: joke's on them. He likes being a bottom and that's

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Speaker 2: means Werewolf Stories has come to an end for the day.

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Speaker 1: Tune in next year for something even lamer than the

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Speaker 1: Werewolf Sounds, and

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Speaker 2: We'll be back to a normal edition of Lasers on

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Speaker 2: Monday