Speaker 1: From UFOs to psychic powers and government conspiracies. History is
Speaker 1: riddled with unexplained events. You can turn back now or
Speaker 1: learn this stuff they don't want you to know. A
Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: Hello, welcome back to the show. My name is Matt,
Speaker 2: my name is Noah.
Speaker 3: They call me Ben. We are joined as always with
Speaker 3: our super producer Dylan the Tennessee pal Fagan. Most importantly,
Speaker 3: you are you. You are here. That makes this the
Speaker 3: stuff they don't want you to know. We always say
Speaker 3: it because it's always true. You, fellow conspiracy realist. Specifically,
Speaker 3: you are the most important art of the show. We
Speaker 3: couldn't be more over the moon, whether Earth's moons or
Speaker 3: other moons in the Solar system, to welcome you to
Speaker 3: our weekly listener male segment. Happy November twenty eighth. Guys,
Speaker 3: when this comes out, it's going to be November twenty eighth,
Speaker 3: which I think, does that mean everybody survive Thanksgiving? Or what?
Speaker 3: What does that mean?
Speaker 4: Whah? I would like to think. So, what does Nustra
Speaker 4: Damas say?
Speaker 2: What if nobody did? But we're recording this now and
Speaker 2: it gets played somehow accidentally on the radio or on
Speaker 2: somebody's auto play feature and it's just playing to no one.
Speaker 3: And then here we are without our cravats, our bow ties,
Speaker 3: our footmen and valets.
Speaker 4: I'm not even wearing pants.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I read the Uh, I read the injunction.
Speaker 2: But guys, guys, before we get started, before we get
Speaker 2: start out, go very important announcement. Sure, somebody we know
Speaker 2: just got appointed to be the administrator for the Center
Speaker 2: for Medicare and Medicaid Services. I couldn't be more excited.
Speaker 3: Tentatively appointed doesn't come in to effect until January. But yes,
Speaker 3: our old coworker.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 5: He once made me an egg cream which contains neither
Speaker 5: egg nor cream. Doctor Mehmet Oz.
Speaker 2: Yes, oh we know this guy from back in two
Speaker 2: thousand s.
Speaker 4: Just memat to us.
Speaker 2: Dude, Well, he he's doctor Oz.
Speaker 3: But I call him doctor Oh because I think it's cool.
Speaker 2: But yes, the story is he and another doctor he
Speaker 2: worked with, Doctor Rosen, wrote a series of books called
Speaker 2: it It was the You series, like You, the Owner's Manual,
Speaker 2: You on a diet, You being beautiful, and uh, they
Speaker 2: would come in and shoot we shot videos for them
Speaker 2: and did that's doctor Oz.
Speaker 5: Okay, So he goes back even further than my experience
Speaker 5: because when we first started working with kind of more
Speaker 5: outside partners and agencies and stuff to do podcasts. He
Speaker 5: was one of the first podcasts we ever had, And
Speaker 5: I went to New York and helped set up a
Speaker 5: studio for him and he interviewed one of his Yeah,
Speaker 5: he interviewed one of his doctor friends who was really
Speaker 5: into talking about his family's legacy as the proprietors of
Speaker 5: a soda fountain in Queen's or maybe it was Long Island.
Speaker 5: And they made egg creams on the podcast and I
Speaker 5: drank one that doctor oz himself Bay and I was
Speaker 5: right there in the room.
Speaker 4: It was very surreal.
Speaker 3: So what we're saying, folks, essentially is, aside from our
Speaker 3: parent company, Illumination Global Unlimited, we are super plugged in,
Speaker 3: which is part of how we figured out the truth
Speaker 3: behind TV court shows. We're going to pause for a
Speaker 3: word from our sponsor. We're going to dive into this
Speaker 3: and thank you slash Ooh, I'm so mad at you
Speaker 3: to all the people who wrote in with some great
Speaker 3: puns as well, which we'll get to at the end.
Speaker 3: But before we do any of that, have you ever
Speaker 3: found yourself in a kangaroo Court. So we'll pause for
Speaker 3: a word from our sponsors, and then we'll learn more
Speaker 3: about the idea of a kangaroo court.
Speaker 5: And we've returned with Ben, you teased it beautifully. We're
Speaker 5: talking about TV court shows. We were talking about the
Speaker 5: line between entertainment and litigation, and I think what better
Speaker 5: way to start than with a message from Darcy with
Speaker 5: a suggestion for a TV sitcom or perhaps it could
Speaker 5: be a reality show court show. Here she goes, Hi, guys,
Speaker 5: I love your podcast. I also tuned into Ridiculous History
Speaker 5: with Ben and Nola periodically, but stuff they don't want
Speaker 5: you to know is still my go to podcast to
Speaker 5: destress after a long day. Here's a TV sitcom that
Speaker 5: would be fun, Kangaroo Court. And I guess these are
Speaker 5: like kind of tenets of what the show would have
Speaker 5: to consist of. Ignores due process, has a predetermined conclusion,
Speaker 5: is biased against one party as a judge who colluded
Speaker 5: with one party. Has a jury that is not impartially
Speaker 5: got to cast all these parts. Has proceedings that lack decorum.
Speaker 5: How dare you not have decorra has a process that
Speaker 5: is rushed to the point of being unfair. Has a
Speaker 5: court that interprets the law in an unreasonable way. A
Speaker 5: kangaroo court, Darcy says, is a court that is so
Speaker 5: far removed from legal norms that it is considered unfair unjust.
Speaker 5: The phrase may have originated in Texas and may refer
Speaker 5: to the gold Rush era practice of minors illegally taking
Speaker 5: land claims from others and then being tried in mock
Speaker 5: court rooms.
Speaker 4: You can use my.
Speaker 5: Name and content. I promise I won't sue you, Darcy.
Speaker 5: Thank you so much, Darcy. In looking into this in
Speaker 5: advance of this podcast recording, I found a really cool
Speaker 5: article from the Christian Science Monitor.
Speaker 4: I remember those guys.
Speaker 5: Kangaroo court has a peculiarly American past. This is from
Speaker 5: twenty nineteen, when the term was kind of seeing a
Speaker 5: new resurgence after US Representative Steve Scalissi, is a Republican
Speaker 5: from Louisiana, tweeted out something against speaking out against Donald
Speaker 5: Trump's impeachment proceedings and used the hashtag kangaroo court in
Speaker 5: a tweet, which is, you know, very much referring to
Speaker 5: a concept that was outlined beautifully by Darcy. And just
Speaker 5: to give a little bit more context. Storical context here
Speaker 5: In seventeen seventy, Captain James Cook landed in Northern Australia
Speaker 5: and wrote down the word king guru or kang guru.
Speaker 4: That's r or g u.
Speaker 1: Are you?
Speaker 5: Then John Hunter mapped land near modern day Sydney and
Speaker 5: learned that the word was in fact pata gorong. We've
Speaker 5: got a little bit more history here about the word.
Speaker 5: Lancelot Threlkeld, which is a fabulous name, who was a
Speaker 5: missionary working north of Sydney heard it as moan A yeah.
Speaker 3: The Oxford English Dictionary considers the etymology as of yet
Speaker 3: not comprehensively solved.
Speaker 5: I see.
Speaker 4: So that's that's where they fallen on the matter.
Speaker 5: However, the Christian Science Monitors seems to think otherwise that
Speaker 5: it was a combination of these words.
Speaker 4: That's not what we're talking about today.
Speaker 5: We're talking less about the history of the etymology of
Speaker 5: the word itself, but rather the practice of a kangaroo court.
Speaker 5: So according to the Christian Science Monitor piece, which by
Speaker 5: the way, it was written by Melissa Moore in October
Speaker 5: of twenty nineteen, she says no one knows precisely where
Speaker 5: the term comes from. It might have originated during the
Speaker 5: lawless days of the California gold Rush, as Darcy pointed out,
Speaker 5: when miners had to create their own court systems to
Speaker 5: adjudicate disputes over claim jumping. Another theory speculates that these
Speaker 5: courts earned the name kangaroo because they jump to conclusions
Speaker 5: that's very, very fun The name, in fact may have
Speaker 5: originated as a kind of game, a mock trial, which
Speaker 5: is kind of funny considering what we're talking about with
Speaker 5: TV court shows. In eighteen fifty three, there was a
Speaker 5: book that described an early example of a kangaroo court
Speaker 5: as a form of entertainment in mock trial that allowed
Speaker 5: people in a tiny Texas town to pretend and play
Speaker 5: the parts of powerful lawyers and judges. Then, of course
Speaker 5: the term did evolve or devolve into a description of
Speaker 5: a court proceeding that is completely stacked against the person
Speaker 5: on trial. So good example is of twentieth century kangaroo
Speaker 5: courts would be Joseph Stalin's kangaroo courts, where anybody, you know,
Speaker 5: they had to on paper have the appearance of some
Speaker 5: sort of you know, justice being carried out, but in
Speaker 5: fact the outcome was predetermined.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, I love that You're mentioning there. Oh. First off, Darcy,
Speaker 3: thank you so much for writing in. Really enjoyed this.
Speaker 3: We've got to mention a little bit more about the
Speaker 3: first recorded citation of the phrase kangaroo court eighteen fifty three.
Speaker 3: As you alluded to, Noel, it was called a stray
Speaker 3: Yankee in Texas, and they use the phrase kangaroo court,
Speaker 3: but they also use the phrase mustang court, and they
Speaker 3: spell it differently. It's fascinating because the earliest version of
Speaker 3: this phrase is not Australia, it is American.
Speaker 5: That's exactly right, and that is in fact the sentiment
Speaker 5: of the Christian Science Monitor article title kangaroo court has
Speaker 5: a peculiarly American pass to You're absolutely correct, Bend. The
Speaker 5: examples that we know historically did come from the California
Speaker 5: gold rush area and this mock trial kind of situation
Speaker 5: for the entertainment of the public, much like court shows
Speaker 5: in Texas. And just to mention as another example of
Speaker 5: this kind of popping up again, we mentioned the court proceedings,
Speaker 5: the impeachment proceedings against then President Donald Trump. And you know, history,
Speaker 5: like you say, Ben, doesn't always repeat, but it sure rhymes.
Speaker 5: We now have this term kind of jumping up a again,
Speaker 5: pointing to the accused weaponization of the justice system against Trump.
Speaker 5: Something he said a lot on the campaign trail was
Speaker 5: that his political rivals were weaponizing the justice system in
Speaker 5: order to take him down, in order to neutralize him.
Speaker 5: He often referred to it as a plot by the
Speaker 5: Biden administration, and there were, you know, plenty of folks
Speaker 5: on his side that would argue the very same thing.
Speaker 5: Trump often said that other legal scholars, you know, backed
Speaker 5: him up, and that this was, in fact, this hush
Speaker 5: money trial is what we're talking about now, by the way,
Speaker 5: in which a panel of twelve New Yorkers did, in
Speaker 5: fact convict Trump, you know, of these crimes, you know,
Speaker 5: for accepting or for organizing the payment of hush money
Speaker 5: to the adult film actress Stormy Daniels. But some good
Speaker 5: examples of the things someone might say if they were
Speaker 5: in a kangaroo court situation were some of these quotes
Speaker 5: from Trump saying, mother Teresa could not beat these charges.
Speaker 5: These charges are rigged. The whole thing is rigged. The
Speaker 5: idea of the verdict was a preconceived notion. So the
Speaker 5: term kangaroo court has been and continues to be thrown
Speaker 5: around for these court proceedings by the supporters and colleagues,
Speaker 5: allies of Donald Trump, the idea that it's a conspiracy
Speaker 5: on the part of the left's, you know, leaning side
Speaker 5: of the US government. And that's the thing about terms
Speaker 5: like this, right, I mean, there certainly are historical examples
Speaker 5: like the Stalin trials. Very clearly no one ever had
Speaker 5: a chance, you know, of getting a fair trial. But
Speaker 5: it is a really good example of kind of the
Speaker 5: rhetoric wherein by calling something fake news, or calling something
Speaker 5: is stolen election, or calling something a kangaroo court enough times,
Speaker 5: it starts to delegitimize the proceedings, you know, in a
Speaker 5: way that can in fact stick with folks, you know,
Speaker 5: in terms of the court of public opinion.
Speaker 2: Just alter that perception just enough.
Speaker 5: That's right, oh man, And I almost forgot In terms
Speaker 5: of another great example of what a kangaroo court is,
Speaker 5: Matt made a note in our Strange News document that
Speaker 5: he found the perfect example from one of the great
Speaker 5: moments in pop culture, the Mike Judge film Idiocracy. We
Speaker 5: don't see if we can't come up with a vidict
Speaker 5: up in here now resecute him.
Speaker 3: Why you think You've done it.
Speaker 5: Okay, number one, your honor, just look at him. Check
Speaker 5: this out, man, Joe should be like guilty.
Speaker 2: Peace, that's it.
Speaker 4: That's it, and that's what happens.
Speaker 5: So huge thanks to you, Darcy for bringing this up,
Speaker 5: because I do think it's a very interesting thing that
Speaker 5: some people maybe have heard the term but weren't aware
Speaker 5: of the history and really the kind of cultural relevance,
Speaker 5: because it is very much something. You know, we do
Speaker 5: live in interesting times, and now that we do have
Speaker 5: Donald Trump as president again, he has claimed to go
Speaker 5: after his political rivals, so I do tend to wonder
Speaker 5: if we may start seeing some Stalin esque kangaroo courts
Speaker 5: on behalf of the Trump administration against folks who he
Speaker 5: sees as having persecuted him in the past. Take a
Speaker 5: break here, work more, sponsor, and then come back with
Speaker 5: more messages from you.
Speaker 3: And we have returned. We're going to go directly to
Speaker 3: Blue about blue zones, who followed up on a recent
Speaker 3: statement we had regarding the concept of blue zones. Let's
Speaker 3: go straight to the email, and then we are going
Speaker 3: to explore it together, hopefully with you playing along at
Speaker 3: home or wherever you are in this wide wide world,
Speaker 3: Blue about Blue Zones, you said in the recent episode
Speaker 3: about the Amish abuse scandal, you made reference to the
Speaker 3: blue zones of the world where people are known to
Speaker 3: live longer, and added that community is a cop invariable
Speaker 3: in these blue zones. You know what else is a
Speaker 3: common variable, fraud, deceit lies. Allegedly, a researcher named doctor
Speaker 3: Saul Justin Newman recently won an ignoble prize for his
Speaker 3: research debunking blue zones, claiming that the secret to an
Speaker 3: exceptionally long life is actually a lack of paper trail
Speaker 3: and plenty of bension fraud. This is me, says Blue
Speaker 3: about Blue Zones, leading you to the edge of the
Speaker 3: rabbit hole. I could not be more pleased with this,
Speaker 3: fellow conspiracy realist, Blue about Blue Zones, thank you so much.
Speaker 3: We learned about this idea a long time ago in
Speaker 3: our pursuit with our Alma matter How stuff works? Blue zones,
Speaker 3: what do you think, guys? The best way to describe
Speaker 3: them as the idea that there are a couple of communities,
Speaker 3: a handful of communities across the world wherein the average person,
Speaker 3: the average human being has a much higher chance of
Speaker 3: reaching the age of one hundred. Is that not about, right?
Speaker 2: Yeah, or at least having an elongated lifespan of some sort, right,
Speaker 2: longer than surrounding areas and averages for like a country
Speaker 2: or something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, before we go into what you're saying blue about
Speaker 3: blue zones and I love that description there, Matt. Please know, folks,
Speaker 3: there are purported four to seven places like Okinawa or
Speaker 3: Sardinia in Italy, Okinawa's and Japan technically Lo Melnda, California,
Speaker 3: or of course Costa Rica. You'll also find areas of
Speaker 3: New Jersey cited as blue zones. And for the casual reader,
Speaker 3: this can seem like something incredibly cool, super fascinating, Like
Speaker 3: what if there is a place in the world that
Speaker 3: you can move to and just by living there you
Speaker 3: will have a higher quality of life and you'll have
Speaker 3: a longer quality of life experience.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 3: So, a lot of people like the average age of
Speaker 3: death varies country to country. It's higher in developed countries
Speaker 3: than it is in underdeveloped countries, but the expiration date
Speaker 3: for the average person in a country doesn't factor in.
Speaker 3: Like the good times, you know, how long are you
Speaker 3: hail and hardy and walking around and having adventures versus
Speaker 3: how many decades do you spend sipping that peace soup
Speaker 3: through a straw.
Speaker 2: No, you're right, man. As long as you're increasing the
Speaker 2: quality of life, as you said, and not just the length,
Speaker 2: then these are great.
Speaker 3: And I'm it's not maybe right.
Speaker 4: We haven't.
Speaker 3: We've talked about blue zones, but we're not qualified experts
Speaker 3: studying them. This is why the research by doctor Saul
Speaker 3: Justin Newman has rocked the assumptions about blue zones on
Speaker 3: their foundations. Our buddy, doctor Newman won the first ever
Speaker 3: Ignoble Award in the field of demography, in the field
Speaker 3: of studying this, and he wanted because as you are
Speaker 3: alluding to blue about blue zones, he looked into the
Speaker 3: math like a lot of people are gonna say yes
Speaker 3: to this. There's a cool place somewhere in Japan. There's
Speaker 3: a cool place somewhere in California. If you show up,
Speaker 3: not only will you live to become a centenarian, but
Speaker 3: you'll also have a way better time in your eighties
Speaker 3: and maybe even your nineties. Unfortunately, when he looked at
Speaker 3: the research, he found a lot of it was based
Speaker 3: on optimism maybe or willful ignorance of things like the
Speaker 3: government records of birth dates and death dates. Doctor Newman
Speaker 3: showed all these like he was He's like a guy
Speaker 3: who issues a mixtape where he fires shots at all
Speaker 3: the other rappers. Because he said, all right, blue zones
Speaker 3: only makes sense if you want them to make sense
Speaker 3: and you don't look into the research further. He said,
Speaker 3: those myths about the world's oldest person, you know, the
Speaker 3: number one award with the highest turnover historically. He said,
Speaker 3: that only makes sense if you ignore the fact that
Speaker 3: a lot of the documentation gets skewed because these people
Speaker 3: are from you know, one hundred years ago. I don't know,
Speaker 3: it's it's kind of a bummer. Maybe we should talk
Speaker 3: a little bit about the Ignoble Prize as well.
Speaker 2: I do, But first the blue zones. This is my understanding.
Speaker 2: Correct me if I'm wrong here. One of the primary
Speaker 2: things about blue zones in the past that I've read
Speaker 2: were about the diets of very specific regions, and that's
Speaker 2: playing a major part in you know, how long somebody
Speaker 2: lives because you're more healthy because you're getting more X
Speaker 2: in your diet. In a lot of places, it's a
Speaker 2: specific vegetable or specific type of very specific type of
Speaker 2: meat that is consumed more highly than others. And I'm
Speaker 2: just imagining how if enough of us think or believe
Speaker 2: that those specific pieces of produce will elongate our lives,
Speaker 2: then those fruits and vegetables become fad things, right.
Speaker 3: Very department of truth, by the way, I'm.
Speaker 2: Sorry, well, I mean but it's true though, because then
Speaker 2: that becomes like I'm imagining there's a new place that
Speaker 2: just open up near me that specializes in like smoothies
Speaker 2: and whole foods and super fruits and all these things.
Speaker 2: A lot of these again, like naturally growing things in
Speaker 2: specific parts of the world that are now being grown
Speaker 2: in mass and shipped all over everywhere, including North Georgia,
Speaker 2: where people you know, consume as many of those berries
Speaker 2: or those Japanese swee potas those as they possibly can
Speaker 2: because they think that it's going to lead them to
Speaker 2: these healthier lives. And you can also embolden companies to
Speaker 2: I'm just saying it. I don't know, there's something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, wheels within wheels. Not to be too Charlie Day
Speaker 3: about it. I need more red strings on the back.
Speaker 3: I need to decorate this place where I record I
Speaker 3: look like a serial killer anyway, there. You're absolutely right, Matt,
Speaker 3: because the typical factors for what creates a blue zone
Speaker 3: would be a local diet, right, or a whole foods diet,
Speaker 3: you would call it, right, and the you know, the
Speaker 3: Mediterranean diet is a great example of this. It's higher
Speaker 3: in vegetable matter, it's a little lower in carbs. Protein
Speaker 3: is not an every meal part of existence. And then
Speaker 3: you would also have rich social interactions or community, low stress,
Speaker 3: you have a baked in amount of physical activity, which honestly,
Speaker 3: physical activity plus diet, they're probably like the two big
Speaker 3: factors that will help people feel healthier for longer. And
Speaker 3: I don't want to discount rich social interactions or community.
Speaker 3: You know, unfortunately here in the United States and in
Speaker 3: other parts of the world, as people become elderly and
Speaker 3: their friends and community members pass away, they find themselves
Speaker 3: increasingly isolated. And that kind of isolation can be quite dangerous,
Speaker 3: not just to mental health, but to physical health as well.
Speaker 3: And you know, we don't have to get too into
Speaker 3: the weeds on this, but I think all five of us, Dylan,
Speaker 3: Matt Nole, yours truly and you listening at home, I
Speaker 3: think all five of us have seen some version of this.
Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2: Although my diet is absolute crap. I'm fully isolated. I'm
Speaker 2: just boxing a lot, and I feel like I'm the
Speaker 2: healthiest I've ever been.
Speaker 3: I'm bullish. I'm bullish on crap man. That fecal transplant
Speaker 3: episode persuaded me.
Speaker 2: It fill me up with your perfect I.
Speaker 5: Told my girlfriend about that episode. You guys, now, that's
Speaker 5: not a thing. It's not real.
Speaker 3: She just blocked it out, just refused to believe that
Speaker 3: it is day it is.
Speaker 4: I told her.
Speaker 3: So we'll show this up to by mentioning the IG
Speaker 3: Nobel Prize. Please check out the excellent episodes by our
Speaker 3: pals over Stuff to blow your mind about the IG
Speaker 3: Nobel Prize. It is a satirical prize. It's kind of,
Speaker 3: you know, twisting the cheeks or a little adam boy
Speaker 3: to the Nobel Prize, which was funded by the guy
Speaker 3: who made up dynamite and later felt bad about it.
Speaker 3: That's the best log line for the Nobel Prize.
Speaker 2: Wait for the Nobel or the.
Speaker 3: The ig Nobel makes fun of the Nobel Prize, and
Speaker 3: the Nobel Prize only exists because that guy killed a
Speaker 3: ton of people by inventing dynamite.
Speaker 2: But he also made minds happen.
Speaker 3: To get all the higher great points.
Speaker 2: Great points.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the actual facts. Shout out to our pal Lauren Vogelbaum.
Speaker 3: Credit where it's due, the actual facts. Nobel Prizes are
Speaker 3: five separate awards that are that are you know, meant
Speaker 3: to acknowledge advances in humanity's weird long form game of
Speaker 3: improv primarily to assuash the conscience of Alfred Nobel, who again,
Speaker 3: through his inventions, killed a lot of people. The Ignoble
Speaker 3: Prize is not necessarily mean. It's not like the Darwin
Speaker 3: Awards when you make fun of people who died. The
Speaker 3: Ignoble Prizes are like if the Onion bought the Nobel
Speaker 3: Prize foundation. They are to honor achievements that make people
Speaker 3: laugh and then make them think. And with this debunking
Speaker 3: of blue zones we see one of the most well
Speaker 3: deserved Ignoble Prizes ever. It also, i would argue, prompts
Speaker 3: a larger conversation about what the future of lifespan will
Speaker 3: be for humans on this planet. I posit to you,
Speaker 3: guys that we will see a growing inequality of lifespan.
Speaker 3: It's already there. Between the haves and the have nots.
Speaker 3: But as we see it becomes more expensive to eat
Speaker 3: healthy food, as we see it becomes increasingly difficult to
Speaker 3: live in healthy environments, as we see it become increasingly
Speaker 3: implausible to avoid stuff like microplastics or airborne contaminants, We're
Speaker 3: going to see that one of the best indicators of
Speaker 3: long term health and life expectancy. Tell me if it's crazy, guys,
Speaker 3: I think it's going to be income and net worth.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it certainly does feel like whenever we talk about
Speaker 5: things like life extension technology and and the conspiracy theories
Speaker 5: behind say certain industries holding back you know, cures and
Speaker 5: remedies or perhaps you know, saving them only for the
Speaker 5: one percent of the one percent of the one percent,
Speaker 5: it does feel like we're already kind of heading in
Speaker 5: that direction.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, yet, do you have time and the
Speaker 2: energy to get exercise on a regular basis? If you do,
Speaker 2: you likely have enough money to where, you know, whatever
Speaker 2: other worries or you know, responsibilities you've got, you can
Speaker 2: at least push off a little ways onto either somebody
Speaker 2: else by paying them or you know, we've talked about
Speaker 2: that before with wealth, Like that's why it's not a rule,
Speaker 2: but often when you see someone come into money, they
Speaker 2: get like super in shape compared to what they have
Speaker 2: been because they have all this time.
Speaker 5: They're taking luxury, which you should focus on your summer
Speaker 5: that it's seen that way.
Speaker 4: Like there has to be in the society like a luxury.
Speaker 5: Really, you know, it's unfortunate that everyone doesn't have the
Speaker 5: opportunity or they have to like take it where they
Speaker 5: can get it. And not to mention things like food
Speaker 5: deserts or people that don't have access to fresh fruits
Speaker 5: and vegetables because of economic reasons.
Speaker 3: I want everybody to live the best life possible for
Speaker 3: as long as possible, you know, just don't hurt other people.
Speaker 3: The food desert thing is a big sticking point, you know.
Speaker 3: Here in Atlanta, we have a lot of food deserts
Speaker 3: and we don't talk about it too publicly, but we
Speaker 3: work assiduously to address that through asymmetrical means. And unfortunately,
Speaker 3: the need to resort to asymmetrical solutions is only a
Speaker 3: consequence of lack of legislation, right, lack of the ability
Speaker 3: to help people, the idea that not being in the
Speaker 3: one percent should consign a person and multiple generations thereof
Speaker 3: to some massive disadvantage. It's just gross, it's unclean, and
Speaker 3: the world population can do better. Let me step down
Speaker 3: off this soapbox real quick. But I think we can
Speaker 3: all agree with that. Sure, yeah, baby would be nice,
Speaker 3: It would be nice. It would also be massive to
Speaker 3: win a Nobel or an ag Nobel prize. Will take
Speaker 3: either one. While you're filling out the submission form for that,
Speaker 3: we can't wait to hear your results. We're going to
Speaker 3: pause for a word from our sponsors, will return with
Speaker 3: more messages from you. Court is in session.
Speaker 2: Boom, and we've returned, and we're going to be reading
Speaker 2: a story that was sent to us by Beefy. This
Speaker 2: is a fairly long one, guys, so if you don't mind,
Speaker 2: let's do this together. I love it when we do that.
Speaker 4: Chucks.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I will start us off here, and this is
Speaker 2: just a note about the story from Beefy. The names
Speaker 2: have been changed to protect the innocent, even though we're
Speaker 2: not sure if Beefy already changed the names. We just
Speaker 2: changed them one more time. So there's so nobody is
Speaker 2: getting in trouble for anything.
Speaker 3: It's not short for Beefjamen, folks, so don't try to
Speaker 3: go forensic. We've got this covered.
Speaker 4: That's right.
Speaker 2: Here we go. Hey guys, this is Beefy. I'm in Denver,
Speaker 2: been here since two thousand and one, but I grew
Speaker 2: up in Boston. I'm forty six years old. I borrowed
Speaker 2: some money from my friend and his living partner some
Speaker 2: time ago. Let's call them. Craig, my male best friend
Speaker 2: for fifteen years, and Betty, his female girlfriend at the
Speaker 2: time they lived together. She had a young son of
Speaker 2: five or so that lived with them part time. Betty
Speaker 2: was an adult dancer, which is only relevant because of
Speaker 2: this stupid court show.
Speaker 3: You continue there, Beefy. I borrowed one thousand dollars of
Speaker 3: each of them to start a small business thing. I'm
Speaker 3: a handyman in Denver. Some time went by and they
Speaker 3: had a falling out. It was very bad and ugly,
Speaker 3: and Betty pulled some shady stuff, so I did not
Speaker 3: pay her back. I did pay Craig back, but her nah.
Speaker 5: A year or so went by and I randomly got
Speaker 5: a call and it was people from the Judge Mathis show.
Speaker 4: They said, do you want to be on.
Speaker 5: TV about your case? I was like hell no, mthan no.
Speaker 5: Then they told me that they pay the judgment if
Speaker 5: I go on the show, and I was like, what, why,
Speaker 5: and they said it's the only way some people will
Speaker 5: agree to it.
Speaker 2: They also told me that they would fly me and
Speaker 2: Craig out and put us up in a hotel and
Speaker 2: we would get like one hundred and fifty dollars in.
Speaker 3: Food vouchers US dollars.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's correct, and I was like, f it, let's
Speaker 2: get it done. We flew to Chicago, got picked up
Speaker 2: in limos at the airport, and stayed in some bougie hotel.
Speaker 2: We then went to Buka Tobpo and ate.
Speaker 5: As only the bo good to bestow, and ate.
Speaker 2: So much free Italian food we probably should have died
Speaker 2: from heart attacks that night. The next day was insane
Speaker 2: and weird.
Speaker 3: They made us dress nicely, but I wasn't good at this,
Speaker 3: so they provided me with a shirt that I would
Speaker 3: normally not wear. They brought us to this building where
Speaker 3: we walked through a large warehouse type of place, lights
Speaker 3: and crap everywhere. Then we had to stay in this
Speaker 3: room while we waited to be on the show. People
Speaker 3: came in periodically and tried to coach me on what
Speaker 3: to say. They wanted me to play it up a
Speaker 3: bit for entertainment purposes, et cetera. I said, sure, whatever,
Speaker 3: and waited like six hours in this room.
Speaker 5: When they finally let us into the show, we walked
Speaker 5: through this very packed warehouse type of place and then
Speaker 5: bam right into this friggin courtroom in the middle of
Speaker 5: the warehouse.
Speaker 4: It was the show.
Speaker 5: It was so surreal and gross. But then we walked
Speaker 5: up to the podiums and Craig sat next to me.
Speaker 5: The judge then did the thing and asked us about it.
Speaker 5: The judge and the dorky bailiff guy made stupid jokes
Speaker 5: about Betty being an adult dancer and a stripper, and
Speaker 5: the audience laughed, and I died inside a little.
Speaker 4: It's so unlike me to be doing this.
Speaker 5: Then she told her story, and they clearly told her
Speaker 5: to spice it up a bit.
Speaker 2: And here's a little side note included by Beef. Craig
Speaker 2: and I are in the hardcore scene here in Denver.
Speaker 2: That's a hardcore music scene. The shows there get pretty
Speaker 2: wild and at times violent, or they can seem that
Speaker 2: way at least. So she then tells them how crazy
Speaker 2: we are, and we jump on speakers and kick and
Speaker 2: punch each other for fun at these shows. The judge
Speaker 2: then looks at me and says, like heavy metal stuff,
Speaker 2: and I say, it's more punk based. Ah, so embarrassing.
Speaker 3: Then I have to explain what happened and I did
Speaker 3: not spice it up nor play along. They decided I
Speaker 3: owed the money, duh, and banged the gavel and sent
Speaker 3: us packing. They then walked us out of the building.
Speaker 3: The whole time we walked to the cars, this lady
Speaker 3: shamed me over and over again for not spicing it
Speaker 3: up for the TV and not playing along. I was like, whatever, lady,
Speaker 3: this isn't real. Just take me to the goddamn airport,
Speaker 3: which they did and we flew straight back to Denver.
Speaker 4: What a trip.
Speaker 5: To this day, I can't find that video. It aired
Speaker 5: and a lot of people made fun of me for it.
Speaker 5: They were constantly saying, a low, dull voice, it's more
Speaker 5: punk based. To rasp me about it. That's funny, lol.
Speaker 5: I wish I could find that video. I tried searching
Speaker 5: for it and nothing comes up. And Matt, I believe
Speaker 5: you did some digging and similarly came.
Speaker 4: Up with nothing.
Speaker 2: I went through so many judge mathis clips today, you guys,
Speaker 2: with all kinds of key words the roommate, loan, money, handyman,
Speaker 2: a dancers, Yeah, and just there's nothing that I could
Speaker 2: find that matched what this is, or at least the
Speaker 2: story that we've got from Beef. But if you find
Speaker 2: it that we're putting out the call right now before
Speaker 2: we end. If you find it, you better send it
Speaker 2: to us, please please, but also you better, but please
Speaker 2: it's conspiracy at iHeartRadio dot com. If you find it,
Speaker 2: center our way, Okay.
Speaker 3: We also want to thank everybody who wrote in with
Speaker 3: some surprisingly surprisingly immediate first hand experiences with TV court shows.
Speaker 3: I think we hit a nerve on that one, and
Speaker 3: thank you so much to everybody for listening. Also, Matt,
Speaker 3: you know what really stands out about our pal Beefe's
Speaker 3: correspondence here is what we were arguing earlier. The producers
Speaker 3: are eternally attempting to make people, you know, spice things up.
Speaker 5: I think I've probably mentioned it on the show before
Speaker 5: because it's too stupid not to have, but I did
Speaker 5: help actually on a pilot for a reality show with
Speaker 5: the unfortunate title The Underground Runway.
Speaker 4: I don't think it ever got picked up.
Speaker 5: But it was basically about a bunch of bougie buckhead women,
Speaker 5: which is like kind of like an affluent neighborhood here
Speaker 5: in Atlanta, starting a fashion brand in their basement. And
Speaker 5: they called it the Underground Runway, which I just think
Speaker 5: is very unfortunate. But the producer it was just more
Speaker 5: or less telling everyone exactly what to say in those testimonials,
Speaker 5: coercing at the very least oftentimes straight up scripting for them.
Speaker 2: Hmm, well yeah, I can imagine if you are being
Speaker 2: told you're convinced to go out there, you're putting in
Speaker 2: a you know, a luxury hotel, the limo picks you
Speaker 2: up from the airport, you go to Buka, to freaking befo.
Speaker 5: Didn't they file for bankruptcy, by the way, I think
Speaker 5: they filed.
Speaker 3: For the bankruptcy.
Speaker 4: Yes, But.
Speaker 2: The whole point is if you're in you're experiencing all
Speaker 2: of that, right, and you're aware, and they're making you
Speaker 2: painfully aware that you actually don't have any consequences for
Speaker 2: anything that's happening here. I can imagine you might say, oh, sure,
Speaker 2: yeah we can, we can have a little fun with
Speaker 2: this thing, and don't you.
Speaker 3: Like, don't you want to be on TV.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can totally.
Speaker 3: See you see it as well, and we maybe we
Speaker 3: end up sharing more of these TV Court show responses
Speaker 3: in future listener mail programs, if we if we have
Speaker 3: just a little bit of time. We also got amazing reactions,
Speaker 3: particular reactions to our run of improvised porn parody movie puns.
Speaker 3: Yeah it's yeah. This is our official letter from moment.
Speaker 3: I think we're all impressed by our pal, Dylan Tennessee
Speaker 3: pal Fagan's contributions to the chat.
Speaker 2: Here we go, who, by the way, has changed his
Speaker 2: name now to Dylan quote more punk based unquote Fagan.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, he's more punk based. He's locally, locally sourced
Speaker 3: punk based, which gets into.
Speaker 4: His blue zo.
Speaker 3: All right, all right, so letters from home, Hi, game,
Speaker 3: love the show. You can call me Deputy Drew and
Speaker 3: use this on air. A few of my favorite parody
Speaker 3: movie names. And I don't know if these have been
Speaker 3: used on air or if I just heard them and
Speaker 3: made them up at some point. So these the following
Speaker 3: you hear, are Deputy Drew. They're not us writing this. Gentlemen,
Speaker 3: I suggest we round robin these just for fun. First one,
Speaker 3: Harry pooter and the Sorcerer's bone. Oh.
Speaker 2: The next one is broke back mounting.
Speaker 5: Lethal whooping. H I don't know about that. What's whooping?
Speaker 5: Maybe lethal whoopye would be I think that's a misnumber there.
Speaker 3: I don't know if Deputy Drew has taking notes.
Speaker 5: But we're here to help. We are making whoopee. It's
Speaker 5: not making whooping. Getting a whooping is getting your ass
Speaker 5: beat by your mom.
Speaker 2: And that's a different show, by the way. That's we're
Speaker 2: here to help.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, thank you, you're picking it up. So also,
Speaker 3: instead of final destination, anal destination. Next one is one
Speaker 3: of my favorites for the silly factor, Tiller on the roof.
Speaker 5: If and then if you're into a little bit more
Speaker 5: of vanilla sex, you can go for a missionary. Impossible.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't that be the opposite of vanilla sex, Like it's
Speaker 3: impossible for us to have missionary?
Speaker 5: There you go, I say, you know what it's all,
Speaker 5: it's it's a creative liberty.
Speaker 4: That's up to the filmmakers.
Speaker 3: We're gonna skip one so we can go to I
Speaker 3: think the most subtle and amazing not home Alone. There
Speaker 3: are levels to that one, and I'm not sure, I
Speaker 3: like all the levels.
Speaker 4: I don't think I understand.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, so we're implying that there are other people
Speaker 2: in the house. Maybe the person believes their home alone,
Speaker 2: but they're not, and maybe it's their stepsister. No wait what,
Speaker 2: you're a you dirty dog again.
Speaker 3: We're reading these contributions from our pal, Deputy Drew, who
Speaker 3: has worked on this for.
Speaker 4: A long time.
Speaker 5: Indeed, I guess we could wrap it up with my
Speaker 5: personal favorite, the Lizard of Watts.
Speaker 3: Get it. It's not like oz wads. Shout out also
Speaker 3: to our pal, we'll just call you thh for this
Speaker 3: one who said the whole email is just this one.
Speaker 3: Oppenheimen might just leave it there. Well, yeah, well done.
Speaker 3: If you want to join the cause, no pun left behind,
Speaker 3: we would love to hear from you. Tell us what
Speaker 3: you think this is not a legally recognized court in
Speaker 3: the United States that we do have some paperwork pending
Speaker 3: in Vanuatu. In the meantime, we'd love to have you
Speaker 3: be part of the show on air. Tell us your thoughts,
Speaker 3: tell us new episodes. Find us at the email, the telephone,
Speaker 3: or even on the lines, which I'm saying instead of online.
Speaker 5: Now, yeah, it's sure you can find us all over
Speaker 5: the lines at the handle Conspiracies that where we exist
Speaker 5: on Facebook with our Facebook group, heres where it gets Crazy,
Speaker 5: on x FKA Twitter, as well as on YouTube, where
Speaker 5: you can find video concerts glore for your perusing enjoyment
Speaker 5: on Instagram and TikTok. However, we are Conspiracy Stuff Show.
Speaker 2: We also have a phone number. It's one eight three
Speaker 2: three st d WYTK. When you call in, give yourself
Speaker 2: a cool nickname, so every time you call in will
Speaker 2: recognize you and your voice, and then let us know
Speaker 2: inside the message whether or not we can use your
Speaker 2: name and message in one of our listener mail episodes.
Speaker 2: If you've got more to say than could fit in
Speaker 2: a three minute voicemail, why not instead send us a
Speaker 2: good old fashioned email.
Speaker 3: We are the entities that read every piece of correspondence
Speaker 3: we receive. Be well aware, yet out afraid. Sometimes the
Speaker 3: void writes back the puns, the leads for new episodes,
Speaker 3: the real time in the Trenches experience we want to
Speaker 3: hear from you. Join us out here in the dark
Speaker 3: Conspiracy at iHeartRadio dot com.
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