1 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 1: Welcome to stuff Mom Never told you from how Stuff 2 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: Works dot Com. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I'm 3 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:18,040 Speaker 1: Caroline and I'm Kristen. Happy New Year's Eve to everyone. 4 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:22,239 Speaker 1: I hope you're wearing sparkles and donning your party hats 5 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:26,800 Speaker 1: and doing something fun this evening. Drinking champagne perhaps, or 6 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 1: sparkling grape juice or whatever tickles your fancy slash knows 7 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 1: when you drink it. I myself, I'm not really big 8 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 1: on New Year's I think the pressure is too high 9 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 1: for this holiday. I I find it stressful. I would 10 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,520 Speaker 1: rather just I know, it's an excuse to party, and 11 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,600 Speaker 1: yes I will find a party, but I would rather 12 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 1: just like have a low key night of hanging out 13 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 1: rather than trying to go somewhere where I do have 14 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: to wear sequence. There's also a lot of pressure to 15 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:59,280 Speaker 1: like tell yourself and everyone around you that you're going 16 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 1: to somehow make yourself better. Oh yeah, it's the fresh start. 17 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: And it's not just in the US. This is a 18 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:10,399 Speaker 1: cross cultural thing. People love New Year's because it gives 19 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 1: us a chance, at least mentally, to say, Okay, you 20 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 1: know what, last year, I did some things whatever, But 21 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 1: I can I can be I can be a new 22 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:23,759 Speaker 1: person this year. I can resolve to make myself better. 23 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:26,319 Speaker 1: Do you have you do you make New Year's resolutions? Caroline? 24 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,120 Speaker 1: I do not. I used to when I was a 25 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:34,760 Speaker 1: naive person who believed that by simply saying I will 26 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 1: start running, I would start running, and that consistently did 27 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 1: not happen. So I was like, you know what, instead 28 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 1: of just disappointing myself every January three, I Am just 29 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:50,120 Speaker 1: going to try to make slow lifestyle changes here and 30 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: there and not worry about promising something on January one. Well, 31 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: as we will get into more in the podcast, Caroline, 32 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: you are really on the right track when it comes 33 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:05,240 Speaker 1: to when it comes to these resolutions. Um. But first 34 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:09,799 Speaker 1: before we get into whether or not resolutions really work 35 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:13,919 Speaker 1: and when they do, because I have known people who 36 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 1: will set up with some kind of large goal like 37 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 1: quitting smoking or having a healthier lifestyle, losing weight, and 38 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 1: they actually stick to it and they do it. Um. 39 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 1: So we'll talk about the ways that people can succeed 40 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:33,120 Speaker 1: in those kinds of things. But USA dot gov just 41 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 1: for fun, has tracked the kinds of things the most 42 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 1: common things at least that Americans resolved to do, and 43 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:47,840 Speaker 1: they're pretty easy to guess. Less boozing, less using keep rhyming, 44 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:52,640 Speaker 1: eating healthier food, getting a better education, better job, getting fit, 45 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 1: managing debt, which I'm sure is a big one. I 46 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 1: think money matters in general are a big one for people, um, 47 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 1: quitting smoking, making trips, volunteering, saving money, basically becoming perfect 48 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 1: human beings. Yeah. I do better with some of those things. 49 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,960 Speaker 1: It's all in cycles. Like sometimes I'm really good at 50 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,400 Speaker 1: saving money because I just get in the mindset of like, no, dummy, 51 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 1: you can't go to the mall every day. That's just ridiculous. 52 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,240 Speaker 1: Who does that? And so I become really good at, 53 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: you know, eating at home instead of eating out and 54 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:28,680 Speaker 1: doing all that stuff. But sometimes you can't be good 55 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 1: all the time. No, you need to allow yourself some indulgences. Absolutely, 56 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:38,560 Speaker 1: But h One interesting thing though about New Year's resolutions 57 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: is just how long we've been making them. I suspected 58 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 1: that it was more of a modern cultural invention, that 59 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 1: New Year's resolutions are this huge thing that everybody has 60 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 1: to do, but no, in fact, this is coming from 61 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: the Book of Christmas by Jane Struther's. She talks about 62 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: the history of resolution making, and how ancient Romans and 63 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 1: Babylonians would make resolutions at the start of the year, 64 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 1: and Babylonians specifically promised to repay debts and return borrowed objects, 65 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 1: and this was also popular among not surprisingly much later 66 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:18,600 Speaker 1: in history the Puritans. I like the Babylonian resolutions. Well, 67 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,400 Speaker 1: they're not really resolutions, but just like I'm gonna give 68 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:24,360 Speaker 1: back what's owed that. That seems like it's an easier 69 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:27,760 Speaker 1: and more noble goal than I'm going to start eating 70 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,960 Speaker 1: fewer cheesy poofs, although that's pretty noble too. You can 71 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 1: accomplish it. It's it's true, um, but it's even still though, Uh, 72 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,920 Speaker 1: these days, I'd say there's a lot of cynicism towards resolutions, 73 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 1: even though it's something that it's it's a strange part 74 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,320 Speaker 1: of almost human nature, it seems like considering how long 75 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 1: we've been doing this. But it's also been accompanied by 76 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 1: this growing acknowledgement that maybe resolutions are just empty gestures 77 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,359 Speaker 1: that we make to make ourselves feel better at the 78 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:06,360 Speaker 1: beginning of the year. For instance, Struthers quotes Mark Twain, 79 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:10,600 Speaker 1: who once said New Year's Day is now the accepted 80 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week, 81 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:18,200 Speaker 1: you can begin paving hell with them as usual. Oh, 82 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:21,599 Speaker 1: Samuel Clemmens, some people last longer than a week. Yeah, 83 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,599 Speaker 1: oh yeah, well off your wild also was skeptical. He 84 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 1: said good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on 85 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 1: a bank where they have no account. And the thing 86 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 1: is Mark Twain and Oscar Wilde were not off the 87 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 1: mark in terms of being dubious. The people will actually 88 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 1: stick to their resolutions. So there were two studies by 89 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:48,360 Speaker 1: John Norcross of the University of Scranton back in nine 90 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: John John Norcross has actually focused a lot on resolutions, 91 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 1: will power, all that stuff, and he found that seventy 92 00:05:56,400 --> 00:06:00,200 Speaker 1: seven percent of people maintain their resolutions for one week, 93 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 1: So there we go. One week. That's that's pretty good. 94 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:07,720 Speaker 1: Only maintained for the full two years that they followed people. 95 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:11,159 Speaker 1: But I still think that's pretty good. Almost of people 96 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 1: holding onto the resolutions for two years. Yeah, although I 97 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,600 Speaker 1: mean we don't we don't have details on what precisely 98 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 1: those resolutions were. Um And I also really liked the 99 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:24,720 Speaker 1: name of the study was called the Resolution Solution Longitudinal 100 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 1: Examination of New Year's Change Attempts. I love academia sometimes. Um. Yeah, 101 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 1: And among those two people that Norcross tracked, a little 102 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: bit over half of them experienced at least one slip up, 103 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:42,719 Speaker 1: and those slip ups would be precipitated by self reported 104 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:46,919 Speaker 1: lack of personal control excessive stress, which is something to 105 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: keep in mind as we talk about resolutions and negative emotions. 106 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 1: And even though um, those studies are a little bit 107 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: dated there, the numbers still apply today for the most part. 108 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 1: It's not like we've gotten any better really keeping resolutions 109 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 1: in the intervening years. UM. John Tierney over at the 110 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:12,120 Speaker 1: New York Times recently looked at statistics on how how 111 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:16,240 Speaker 1: good we are these days at keeping resolutions and forewarned that, 112 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 1: sorry to say this, folks, a third of people will 113 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:23,160 Speaker 1: have broken their resolutions by January, and half of us 114 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: will just give up by July. But that still leaves 115 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 1: fifty percent after July. UM. And one of the reasons 116 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 1: why we tend to give up, UM has to do 117 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 1: with us finding ourselves or at least thinking ourselves too busy, 118 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 1: perhaps to really put the effort to dig in and 119 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 1: make the sacrifices. Um. Also in the New York Times, 120 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 1: Tara Parker Pope reported on a two thousand seventh survey 121 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:56,680 Speaker 1: by time management firm Franklin Covee that pulled fifteen thousand customers, uh, 122 00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: and they found that nearly forty percent attributed breaking their 123 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,680 Speaker 1: resolutions to having too many other things to do, and 124 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,239 Speaker 1: then thirty three percent we're just i would say probably 125 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 1: a little more honest and said they just weren't as 126 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 1: committed to the resolutions as they were when the clock 127 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 1: struck midnight. Yeah. Well it's hard. It's hard to go 128 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,440 Speaker 1: from being a couch that are day in and day 129 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 1: out to being like, no, I'm going to train for 130 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 1: a marathon. I mean that's that's a major step. And 131 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 1: to just decide automatically that you're going to do that, 132 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 1: like maybe get an app like the couch to the 133 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,120 Speaker 1: five k app or something like that, like take it 134 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 1: in steps. It is it can be so overwhelming. I know, 135 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,480 Speaker 1: you know what I'm talking about. It can be so 136 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,560 Speaker 1: overwhelming to be like, I'm just gonna make a radical 137 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: life change right just because it's New Year's Yeah, and 138 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: we don't think about, uh, the incremental steps needed to 139 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 1: get to that place of actually having a resolution that works. Yeah. Um, 140 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 1: so speaking of resolutions working, you you do really have 141 00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,839 Speaker 1: to be committed, and so you know, Christ inside of 142 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:03,360 Speaker 1: the he said, they simply just weren't committed. They didn't 143 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 1: feel like, you know, following through on whatever promise they made. 144 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:10,280 Speaker 1: And uh. Kimberly Moffatt, who's a psychotherapist, quoted in the 145 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,680 Speaker 1: Huffington Post, said that New Year's resolutions only work in 146 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:17,720 Speaker 1: very few cases, and typically with those who have a 147 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 1: will of steel. And this gets into the whole like 148 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 1: willpower issues like strength of will, what makes people commit, 149 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,520 Speaker 1: and so it can be really hard to commit. This 150 00:09:28,559 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: is another John Norcross study who mentioned him earlier, this 151 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 1: one in two thousand two. He found that by the 152 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 1: end of January, thirty six percent had already broken their resolutions. 153 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,960 Speaker 1: Like we said, it can be overwhelming, and it really 154 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 1: is overwhelming if we're faced with too many tasks. So 155 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,240 Speaker 1: not only are we like going back to work, we're 156 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 1: getting over the holidays, we're trying to clean up after 157 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,560 Speaker 1: all the relatives have been in the house, and we 158 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 1: want to start training for a marathon. It can just 159 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:58,400 Speaker 1: be a lot to handle. Yeah, And Michael Bader, who 160 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:02,160 Speaker 1: is a senior advisor for the Institute for Change, also 161 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:07,199 Speaker 1: says that resolutions don't work because we have an unconscious 162 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:11,839 Speaker 1: resolution to not change. Basically, he thinks that our bad 163 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 1: behaviors serve unconscious beliefs and needs that are the building 164 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:20,240 Speaker 1: blocks of our identities. So he gives an example of 165 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 1: an overeater who's unsuccessful at dieting because binging provides momentary 166 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 1: relief from feelings of loneliness and or anxiety. But I mean, 167 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,080 Speaker 1: the thing is though, because he he also goes on 168 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 1: to say, like, this has nothing to do with heredity 169 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 1: or neurobiology. You know, it's just these these unconscious parts 170 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 1: of who we are. We can't divorce ourselves from them. 171 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 1: But it sounds like that's just not getting at the 172 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 1: real root of the problem and shrugging off. You know, 173 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,560 Speaker 1: Oh well, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna change, really, 174 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:53,839 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna like, I don't feel like cheesy poofs 175 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 1: are a cornerstone of my identity. I just really like them, 176 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,240 Speaker 1: that's all, Like I could. I don't think that giving 177 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 1: up cheesy poofs will reveal anything that's like deep seated 178 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 1: in my brain. But what does the poof represent? Caroline happiness? Oh? 179 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 1: Oh there it is? Yeah. Um well, another reason is 180 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 1: that we really don't want to do them. According to 181 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:19,959 Speaker 1: this is Steve Airy, who's a negative Nancy confidence coach, 182 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:23,080 Speaker 1: quoted over at life Hacker. He said that this is 183 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:26,920 Speaker 1: because resolutions are really about what we should do rather 184 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 1: than what we want to do. So it's like doing 185 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,319 Speaker 1: your homework instead of playing video games. You know, it's 186 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,560 Speaker 1: like it's what you should do to better yourself, but 187 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 1: do you really feel like you want to do it? 188 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:40,920 Speaker 1: And then he goes on to explain that they're like goals, 189 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,480 Speaker 1: but he said that this is a negative, which I 190 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:45,319 Speaker 1: kind of take issue with and I think is weird. 191 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 1: So he says that resolutions are like goals, which puts 192 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,320 Speaker 1: a gap between where you are now and where you 193 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,480 Speaker 1: want to be. And I don't think that's inherently negative. 194 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,200 Speaker 1: I think if you see a goal that you want 195 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,319 Speaker 1: to go for, whether that's getting a new job or 196 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,520 Speaker 1: losing weight, you should go for it. But anyway, he 197 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:04,040 Speaker 1: says that making resolutions make you look at what's next, 198 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,240 Speaker 1: not what's right in front of you, and they make 199 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 1: you feel less than lowering your self esteem, which I 200 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,600 Speaker 1: think I feel like he's getting it backwards. I don't 201 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 1: know about you. I mean I could see that coming 202 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,560 Speaker 1: into effect if you set yourself up for cycles of 203 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:22,839 Speaker 1: defeat where you continually set goals and then that are 204 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,160 Speaker 1: too ambitious and then you don't meet up to them, 205 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:29,040 Speaker 1: and then that would probably ding your self esteem and 206 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 1: you know, lower you rather than propel you forward. Because 207 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:37,880 Speaker 1: it seems like resolution should be more of a motivational factor. 208 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:41,439 Speaker 1: I think it's more something that Christie Hedges, who's a 209 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:46,079 Speaker 1: leadership coach um and quoted over at Forbes, talked about 210 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 1: the fact that we set too lofty of goals. It's 211 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:54,280 Speaker 1: like this all or nothing thing I'm going to become. 212 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,440 Speaker 1: You know, I'm going to sculpt my body so much 213 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,400 Speaker 1: so that when I go to the beach, will will 214 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,439 Speaker 1: ask to take my photo And that's not gonna It's 215 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,800 Speaker 1: not gonna happen with you know, one zoom book class 216 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 1: a week or whatever it is that we think um 217 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,080 Speaker 1: can do it, and so when we don't hit this 218 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 1: transformational point in a short amount of time, then we 219 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,400 Speaker 1: just throw the whole throw the whole thing out. Yeah. Well. 220 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,040 Speaker 1: She also says that culturally we're all pretty cynical and 221 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:25,400 Speaker 1: that we live up to our low expectations because we're 222 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:29,200 Speaker 1: setting these incredible goals that we don't honestly expect to me, 223 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 1: And so it's that much easier to just be like, whatever, 224 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna go run anymore or I'm not gonna 225 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 1: do X y Z anymore, because I never really expected 226 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,400 Speaker 1: that i'd you know, succeed anyway. I also like how 227 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:43,120 Speaker 1: she refers to this as the cynical zeitgeist, which supports 228 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 1: the gravitational pull of the status quo cynical zeitgeist. Everybody's 229 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:53,760 Speaker 1: a daria um. But there is some science though too, 230 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 1: resolutions and more specifically to the will power that it 231 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:03,439 Speaker 1: takes to change things. Because I think that resolutions can 232 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,679 Speaker 1: be a very good thing. I think that we're just 233 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:09,120 Speaker 1: going about them, oftentimes the wrong way. But when you 234 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:14,520 Speaker 1: figure out how willpower works in the brain, maybe we 235 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 1: are arming ourselves with some some information to help us 236 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:28,040 Speaker 1: succeed because sticking to resolutions, i e. Willpower takes actual energy. Yeah, 237 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,880 Speaker 1: so it turns out that when you run out of 238 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,680 Speaker 1: will plat power, you're running out of energy, like Kristen said, 239 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:37,480 Speaker 1: that is powered by glucose in the bloodstream, which Roy F. Baumeister, 240 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 1: a social psychologist, calls ego depletion. He points out that 241 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,440 Speaker 1: you really have to anticipate the limits of your willpower. 242 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:49,000 Speaker 1: And what is it about willpower? Why does it run out? 243 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 1: What's going on? Well, one of the reasons why it 244 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:57,360 Speaker 1: runs out is because all of the research into into 245 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:03,440 Speaker 1: ego depletion, into willpower finds that we don't really have 246 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:07,000 Speaker 1: very much of it. Willpower is a very fleeting thing 247 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 1: humans like to give into their indulgences, and UM, if 248 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:16,280 Speaker 1: we don't exercise it much like a muscle, we we 249 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:19,600 Speaker 1: aren't going to be able to to use it very much. Um. 250 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 1: And this was something that uh jonah Laire who before 251 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 1: I can hear eyebrows raising right now, I realized he 252 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,560 Speaker 1: is uh run into some issues lately with some citations, 253 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 1: but nevertheless he wrote, Uh, he did run a fascinating 254 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:37,040 Speaker 1: piece over at wired awhile ago Um called the willpower Trick, 255 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 1: and I just wanted to call out some of these 256 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 1: UM studies that he highlighted. Uh. He talked about behavioral 257 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 1: economists Baba Shiv who asked two separate groups to memorize 258 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 1: either a two digit or a seven digit number, and 259 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 1: later on those two groups were UM tasked with choosing 260 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,680 Speaker 1: between a piece of chocolate cake or a fruit bowl, 261 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 1: knowing that the fruit would be a hell fear option 262 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:05,040 Speaker 1: and found Ship found that the people who had to 263 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:10,040 Speaker 1: memorize the seven digit number were much more likely to 264 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,840 Speaker 1: just given to the temptation and eat a piece of 265 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:18,880 Speaker 1: chocolate cake because Ships surmised their brains were more tax 266 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:23,440 Speaker 1: those blood glu glucose levels were lower, and hence they 267 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:26,120 Speaker 1: had more ego depletion. Yeah, and this is the same thing. 268 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 1: You get home from work. All day, You've probably exercised willpower, 269 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 1: not just in avoiding the dessert tray at lunch maybe, 270 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:37,120 Speaker 1: but also like not cursing all work. You've exercised willpower 271 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,840 Speaker 1: to not be your usual jerk self. You get home 272 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 1: at night, your brain is tired, and you're like, Okay, 273 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 1: I could grill a chicken breast, or I could just 274 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:51,400 Speaker 1: eat this whole macaroni and cheese plate from the grocery store. 275 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,320 Speaker 1: I love cheese. Is the theme. I think this is 276 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,720 Speaker 1: a thing. It's a theme, but I like it. Um 277 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 1: But going more into the research. Back in the nineteen sixties, 278 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 1: there's a famous experiment by a guy named Walter Mitchell 279 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:11,639 Speaker 1: who wanted to test whether or not kids could hold 280 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:16,440 Speaker 1: out for treats, basically looking at will power in childhood, 281 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:20,119 Speaker 1: and he identified among the kids who were able to 282 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:26,159 Speaker 1: hold out, he identified something he called strategic allocation of attention, 283 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:30,679 Speaker 1: in which they literally distracted themselves from the I think 284 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,080 Speaker 1: it was a marshmallow or some kind of chocolate treat 285 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:36,400 Speaker 1: on the table that I was sitting there. Um, yeah, 286 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,679 Speaker 1: because he told them that they could either eat the 287 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,919 Speaker 1: marshmallow now or wait until the researcher comes back in 288 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:45,360 Speaker 1: the room. And then they get to marshmallows. And all 289 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,359 Speaker 1: of the kids who just sat there and staring at 290 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 1: the marshmallow and tried to wait it out had much 291 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,200 Speaker 1: more trouble and would usually just gobble up the marshmallow. 292 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,159 Speaker 1: But the kids who would cover their eyes so they 293 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,800 Speaker 1: couldn't see it, they would sing songs themselves, actually hide 294 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:08,240 Speaker 1: underneath the table, essentially blocking that temptation stimulus from view. 295 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 1: We're able to hold out the longest, and so that's 296 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:15,720 Speaker 1: um one thing that researchers have learned about willpower is 297 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,840 Speaker 1: the fact that those of us who might seem to 298 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:22,199 Speaker 1: have the most actually have to exercise it the least 299 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 1: because we sidestep temptation by just keeping those things out 300 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,360 Speaker 1: of out of our view. Like if if you you're 301 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,720 Speaker 1: you know, pitfall is say chocolate or cigarettes or alcohol, 302 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:41,239 Speaker 1: you don't have chocolate or cigarettes or alcohol anywhere, you know. 303 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,320 Speaker 1: It's like if you're an alcoholic, you're not going to 304 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,959 Speaker 1: go to a bar. Yeah, I read. There was one 305 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,040 Speaker 1: commenter on the Wired article. The guy said that he 306 00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:50,040 Speaker 1: kept his pack of cigarette. He would only let himself 307 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:51,400 Speaker 1: buy one pack at a time, and he would keep 308 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,800 Speaker 1: it in the backseat of his car. So every time 309 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,920 Speaker 1: he wanted to smoke, he would have to go out 310 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:59,040 Speaker 1: and get his keys, go outside, get the pack of cigarettes, 311 00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:01,000 Speaker 1: get one cigarette, because he would only let himself take 312 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,280 Speaker 1: one cigarette a time and then smoke it. And so 313 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,760 Speaker 1: that cut way down on just like the boredom smoking. 314 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 1: And he actually ended up cutting way down in general. 315 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,919 Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, am I going to have to 316 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 1: keep all of my chocolate in my car? You gotta 317 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:18,919 Speaker 1: keep the cheesy poofs in the trunk? Cat one, I 318 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:23,200 Speaker 1: have a hatch. I can so easily get to it. Um. Yeah, 319 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,640 Speaker 1: but that's the whole thing too. I don't keep ice 320 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,480 Speaker 1: cream in the house. I don't go down the ice 321 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:30,680 Speaker 1: cream aisle at the grocery store. Like, if I super 322 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,919 Speaker 1: duper want ice cream, it means that I have to 323 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,679 Speaker 1: either go to the grocery store and get it or 324 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,359 Speaker 1: just like stop by the ice cream parlor on the 325 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,840 Speaker 1: way home, Which it's just so much of the hassle. 326 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,400 Speaker 1: Who wants to do that? Well? And the only thing 327 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:46,119 Speaker 1: though about this kind of research is that it definitely 328 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 1: gives us more insight into eliminating problem behaviors, but not 329 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:58,280 Speaker 1: so much into activating positive ones. In terms of exercising, 330 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:02,119 Speaker 1: going to those zooma classes, Um, I can't keep up. 331 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,159 Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I've never taken a zoomba class, but I 332 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,320 Speaker 1: have a feeling I would. I don't know, I got 333 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,639 Speaker 1: I got two left feight folks um or you know, 334 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:13,640 Speaker 1: like learning a new language or going on trips. It's 335 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:19,359 Speaker 1: kind of volunteering those kinds of things that require more time. 336 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 1: But again it seems like, no matter what the big 337 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:26,000 Speaker 1: lesson is, you gotta start small. Yeah, definitely, Yeah, small 338 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 1: steps are best. This was a stress in l l 339 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:33,600 Speaker 1: A Times article in December. Take short walks at work, 340 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,600 Speaker 1: things like that, things that can add up to small 341 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,439 Speaker 1: successes that can add up to a better feeling of 342 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:43,120 Speaker 1: self control. Self esteem, like thinking, Okay, that wasn't hard 343 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,440 Speaker 1: getting up at three thirty. When you're just like head 344 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,640 Speaker 1: on your desk, getting up and just taking a walk 345 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:50,719 Speaker 1: around your floor, around your building or whatever, that eventually 346 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,040 Speaker 1: leads you to be like, Okay, well maybe then I 347 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 1: can run a mile on the treadmill instead when I 348 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:58,560 Speaker 1: get home, you know, adding up to bigger and bigger things. 349 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 1: And same with anim with food, Um, it's the whole. 350 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,520 Speaker 1: Like if you're drastically cutting everything out, like okay, well 351 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,520 Speaker 1: I'm going to go from eating like a normal average 352 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:11,040 Speaker 1: American diet to let us, I'm gonna eat nothing but 353 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:15,720 Speaker 1: let us and tomatoes. Yeah, a, that's not a balanced diet. Yeah, 354 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,240 Speaker 1: you need some frosted flakes in there. And also remember 355 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:22,159 Speaker 1: that those glucost levels too. It means that has a 356 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:25,160 Speaker 1: big thing to do with the food, Like people need 357 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,120 Speaker 1: to to eat to be healthy to keep those gluecoasts. 358 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 1: Yeah that's why. Yeah, that's why your crash diets are 359 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,000 Speaker 1: not gonna work. That's why it has to be a 360 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:36,640 Speaker 1: lifestyle change. And Kimberly Moffatt, who we referenced earlier, said, 361 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,160 Speaker 1: in reference to food in particular, think of what you're 362 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:42,280 Speaker 1: adding instead of what you're taking away. This is something 363 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 1: I've actually told my mother, who refuses, I don't know it, 364 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,919 Speaker 1: refuses to cut back in some areas and add and others. 365 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,600 Speaker 1: I'm like, don't think of it as dieting. This isn't 366 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:56,480 Speaker 1: like your nutral system. This isn't your eating rice cakes 367 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,840 Speaker 1: and being sad. This is just trying to add fruits 368 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,239 Speaker 1: and vegetables. Maybe take away a little bacon. I know, 369 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 1: cud who wants to take away bacon? I don't know nobody, 370 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 1: but yeah, And and people recommend that you don't spread yourself. Then, 371 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,760 Speaker 1: in addition to this, you want to set a single, 372 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,639 Speaker 1: clear goal because, as we mentioned earlier, being overwhelmed with 373 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:22,720 Speaker 1: tasks and half two's and must dues, it just gets 374 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 1: to be too much and you won't stick to it. Yeah. 375 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,440 Speaker 1: And on that same note, I think this is really important. 376 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:33,000 Speaker 1: Don't overreact if you have a lapse. Lapses happen if 377 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:37,200 Speaker 1: you skip a day of running. If you eat that hamburger, 378 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:41,880 Speaker 1: enjoy it. Enjoy the relaxation that you take from not 379 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:47,760 Speaker 1: exercising one day. Enjoy the satiation from that burger or 380 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,560 Speaker 1: whatever food it is that that delights you so much 381 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,399 Speaker 1: and then you know and keep going. Don't expect yourself 382 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 1: to be completely perfect right off the bat, but really 383 00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,560 Speaker 1: ever Yeah, And also I mean, don't think that burger 384 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 1: or that day off from running means your entire diet 385 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 1: or exercise regiment or whatever is off track. You. That's 386 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:12,080 Speaker 1: just one one day, one burger, one whatever, but a 387 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,880 Speaker 1: bag of cheesey poof whatever. But just that just means 388 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,520 Speaker 1: that the next day you're back at it, right. Um. 389 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,520 Speaker 1: And we have not touched on gender at all in 390 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,360 Speaker 1: this podcast, but this, this whole thing about willpower and 391 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:30,760 Speaker 1: managing stressed and keeping your energy levels up is especially 392 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:35,480 Speaker 1: pertinent to women because the American Psychological Association did a 393 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:39,720 Speaker 1: pretty end depth survey not too long ago on gender 394 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:45,120 Speaker 1: stress and sticking to resolutions and willpower and found that 395 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:49,719 Speaker 1: women may have a harder time sticking to goals like 396 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:54,920 Speaker 1: these than men do. And I wonder if off the bat, 397 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,560 Speaker 1: and I wasn't able to find any statistics on this, 398 00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:01,200 Speaker 1: I wonder if just from the get go, women um 399 00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:07,160 Speaker 1: might set more resolutions and perhaps more unrealistic resolutions. And 400 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,000 Speaker 1: I only say that because I feel like, as soon 401 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,560 Speaker 1: as the holidays are over, the messages that we are 402 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:17,920 Speaker 1: immediately inundated with our swimsuit seasons around the corner, ladies, Yeah, 403 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:23,239 Speaker 1: drop those last five pounds all that turkey way, I'm 404 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,760 Speaker 1: going to give birth to a turkey. Um. Yeah. It 405 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,520 Speaker 1: turns out in the study that both genders do cite 406 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:32,000 Speaker 1: lack of willpower as the number one barrier to change, 407 00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:34,920 Speaker 1: but women are more likely than men to cite the 408 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,679 Speaker 1: lack of willpower as a barrier preventing them from making 409 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:42,000 Speaker 1: the lifestyle changes recommended by a doctor. And so that's 410 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:46,560 Speaker 1: women versus twenty four percent men. Yeah, And women are 411 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,440 Speaker 1: also far more likely than men to report that a 412 00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:54,200 Speaker 1: lack of willpower has prevented them from changing eating habits. Um. 413 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,320 Speaker 1: When asked what they needed to change in order for 414 00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:00,080 Speaker 1: their willpower to improve, women were more likely than and 415 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,520 Speaker 1: to say less fatigue and more confidence in their ability 416 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:07,159 Speaker 1: to improve their will power. And also six times as 417 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:11,000 Speaker 1: many women say that having more help with household chores 418 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:13,520 Speaker 1: would allow them to improve their will power. And this 419 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,440 Speaker 1: was something that I was thinking about in terms of, 420 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,320 Speaker 1: you know what it takes to set a resolution and 421 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 1: really keep to it and make a lifestyle change, and 422 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:28,880 Speaker 1: as a single woman with no kids, like being as 423 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 1: autonomous as I will ever be probably in my life. 424 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:36,040 Speaker 1: Um that I could see that happening. I could say, 425 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:37,679 Speaker 1: oh I could, you know, I could, I could do 426 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,639 Speaker 1: these kinds of things. Toss a kid in the mix. 427 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,719 Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, because that's that increases your 428 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:45,760 Speaker 1: stress level. That And I'm not blaming kids for things. 429 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:50,320 Speaker 1: I'm just saying that I can understand how having a partner, 430 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:54,440 Speaker 1: having a household to take care of, having children, even pets, 431 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:59,879 Speaker 1: um my pet free uh, all of that can impact 432 00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:04,320 Speaker 1: this brain space that it takes to really set yourself 433 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,960 Speaker 1: up for success. And it also speaks to I mean 434 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:12,159 Speaker 1: not to to to be uh kind of cliche about it, 435 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,480 Speaker 1: but it also speaks to the importance of you know, 436 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:20,240 Speaker 1: establishing healthy lifestyles from the get go if possible, and 437 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,520 Speaker 1: maybe just using your child as a bench press. Just 438 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,920 Speaker 1: bench press your child, incorporate if the child is taking 439 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,399 Speaker 1: up so much of your time, incorporate the child into 440 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,840 Speaker 1: your exercise. Gentlemen, Well, now that is one of two 441 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:32,880 Speaker 1: bicept curls with the child. There you go. If you've 442 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:38,639 Speaker 1: got twin babies. Obviously autopadded surface j I um no, 443 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,240 Speaker 1: but one of the one of the tips was just 444 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,919 Speaker 1: play with your kids, because that knocks out increased family 445 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:47,640 Speaker 1: time and also gives you a little bit of exercise. 446 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:53,200 Speaker 1: So here we're here to help. Yeah, that's all we're doing. Yeah, 447 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,760 Speaker 1: and I do think that, Um, the fact that there 448 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,639 Speaker 1: are so many apps out there too, especially for people 449 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,760 Speaker 1: who want to start exercising more, that will give you 450 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:06,879 Speaker 1: reminders keeping some kind of accountability something that's often cited 451 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,639 Speaker 1: as well as a good thing to do. So this 452 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,639 Speaker 1: this sounds like if I want to get back in 453 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:16,000 Speaker 1: the resolution game, I should make a resolution along the 454 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:20,679 Speaker 1: lines of get moving a little bit every day. So 455 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,960 Speaker 1: instead going from nothing, going from walking from my car 456 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,680 Speaker 1: to my apartment, take a walk at three o'clock when 457 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,760 Speaker 1: I'm starting to feel tired at work. Yeah, it's the 458 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,840 Speaker 1: whole thing about taking the stairs instead of the elevator 459 00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:36,560 Speaker 1: one day at a time. Like for for me, uh, 460 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:40,320 Speaker 1: like I want to save money this year, and instead 461 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,280 Speaker 1: of what I've done in the past is saying by 462 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:43,480 Speaker 1: the end of this year, I want to have a 463 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,640 Speaker 1: million dollars. Now I'm not gonna happen. There's no way, uh, 464 00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:51,960 Speaker 1: actually saying okay, each week breaking it down. Well, I've 465 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,040 Speaker 1: also in terms of money, Like, I've also set an 466 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:56,120 Speaker 1: amount every month that I'm going to put in savings 467 00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:58,720 Speaker 1: and never touch again because I actually am working towards 468 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,919 Speaker 1: a goal of buying a car. Are like, I have 469 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,520 Speaker 1: to get rid of my old, dying, noisy car, and 470 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,880 Speaker 1: so I just have to be disciplined about that. But 471 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:11,399 Speaker 1: I do still let myself go out, sure, have a drink, 472 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,439 Speaker 1: have a Hamburger, gotee, friends, that kind of thing. I 473 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:17,639 Speaker 1: don't completely deprive myself of any social interaction that involves 474 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,959 Speaker 1: leaving the house because I would go insane and then 475 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,320 Speaker 1: I would money binge and buy all of the shoes. 476 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,360 Speaker 1: So I don't buy all the shoes now. So New 477 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,919 Speaker 1: Year's resolutions do they work? Oftentimes? No, But it's just 478 00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:34,480 Speaker 1: because well not just because, but I would say largely 479 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:38,920 Speaker 1: because we go about them the wrong way. Yeah, it's 480 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,880 Speaker 1: it's almost sort of a desperation move, like, oh my god, 481 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:45,200 Speaker 1: I was not responsible with fill in the blank, and 482 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:48,880 Speaker 1: I need to suddenly backtrack and reverse however, many months 483 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:52,520 Speaker 1: of damage. Whereas it might seem hard, but in the 484 00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,360 Speaker 1: long run, it's easier to make that lifestyle change and 485 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 1: be kind to yourself. Yeah, that's a good message. Be 486 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:02,200 Speaker 1: kind to yourself. Yeah, and happy New Year everybody. Happy 487 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,560 Speaker 1: New Year. Let us know if you have New Year's resolutions. 488 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,080 Speaker 1: Very curious to hear all of them. I know we 489 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,960 Speaker 1: kind of use exercise and eating well and all of 490 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:16,240 Speaker 1: that as our go to resolutions, but I'm very curious 491 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:20,960 Speaker 1: to know what folks are trying to to change this year. 492 00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:23,959 Speaker 1: So send us an email if you'd like mom stuff 493 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,160 Speaker 1: at Discovery dot com. Of course, you can always go 494 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:30,960 Speaker 1: over to Facebook and start a conversation over there. Uh. 495 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,760 Speaker 1: And we've got a couple of letters to share, but 496 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:38,720 Speaker 1: before we do, I've got a quick word already. Here's 497 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:42,680 Speaker 1: a letter from Asa. She's this about our fimphobia episode. 498 00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,960 Speaker 1: She said that it definitely struck a nerve with her. 499 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,320 Speaker 1: I am a woman in a quite male dominant profession. 500 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,200 Speaker 1: I am a new assistant professor and engineering. I also 501 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,640 Speaker 1: like to dress in a very feminine way. I almost 502 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:57,040 Speaker 1: always wear skirts in any heels. I can tolerate and 503 00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 1: love makeup. It makes me feel better and more confident. 504 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,840 Speaker 1: That said, I have noticed people get surprised and my 505 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 1: credentials and competence throughout my career from college with a 506 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:09,440 Speaker 1: very high g P, A grad school, a couple of 507 00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:11,280 Speaker 1: years in the industry, where it was by far the 508 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:14,960 Speaker 1: most prevalent, and now in academia. When I was younger, 509 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:17,040 Speaker 1: my mom would tell me that I should not dress 510 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,440 Speaker 1: in such a feminine way. It wasn't because she thought 511 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,160 Speaker 1: it was not a feminist thing to do, I guess, 512 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,720 Speaker 1: but she thought, maybe new, that it would make things 513 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:25,600 Speaker 1: harder for me. She would tell me that I should 514 00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:27,640 Speaker 1: appear not as a woman in a sexual sense, but 515 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,360 Speaker 1: as a quote unquote sister to be listened to, and 516 00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:34,040 Speaker 1: also to avoid being harassed being a professional. That was 517 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:37,520 Speaker 1: the road she took for me. However, that was not acceptable. 518 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:39,520 Speaker 1: I decided that I am not willing to change an 519 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,240 Speaker 1: important part of who I am just so men can 520 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,400 Speaker 1: get over their preconceptions. Into this day, I feel the 521 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,240 Speaker 1: same way. Is it sometimes a problem? Yes, it is 522 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:52,080 Speaker 1: sometimes difficult to be taken seriously, especially by older male engineers. 523 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,800 Speaker 1: It is also quite amusing to see people's reaction to 524 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,440 Speaker 1: a woman in heels and a pencil skirt, holding hand 525 00:30:57,520 --> 00:31:00,120 Speaker 1: tools or rolling along large pieces of equipment. But it 526 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,080 Speaker 1: is who I am and I am not willing to 527 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:07,479 Speaker 1: change it because of other people's preconceptions. So thank you Asa. Well, 528 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:10,080 Speaker 1: I've got one here from Justin and this is in 529 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:14,040 Speaker 1: response to our episode on gender and trolling, which featured 530 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,920 Speaker 1: Jonathan Strickland, co host of the Text Stuff podcast, and 531 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,000 Speaker 1: he writes, I would just like to give my thoughts 532 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,080 Speaker 1: about the topic of trolls. I'm an avid YouTube watcher, 533 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,880 Speaker 1: and when I was younger, thirteen or fourteen years old, 534 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,600 Speaker 1: YouTube was in its early days, and I admit to 535 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:33,160 Speaker 1: being a troll. Back then, I wouldn't say as mean 536 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,480 Speaker 1: or sexist things as I've seen these days, but I 537 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:39,240 Speaker 1: can assure you my comments were not nice. As I've matured, 538 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:42,000 Speaker 1: I've realized what I was doing and stopped. I still 539 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,560 Speaker 1: regularly watch YouTube videos and stick to only posting positive 540 00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 1: or humorous comments at no one's expense. I still regularly 541 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,360 Speaker 1: see trolls and have done some independent and unofficial research 542 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:54,520 Speaker 1: of my own about trolls for the last couple of months. 543 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:56,640 Speaker 1: Every time I watch a YouTube video and see a 544 00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:58,720 Speaker 1: troll like comment, I click on the user's page to 545 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:02,480 Speaker 1: get a little more information of what regular troll looks like. Uh. 546 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,520 Speaker 1: He goes on to talk about UH. There is a 547 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:10,280 Speaker 1: news group called source fed on YouTube, hugely popular, hugely successful. 548 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,640 Speaker 1: There are three female hosts on that show, and I 549 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,440 Speaker 1: can almost guarantee you that the comments on any of 550 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:19,520 Speaker 1: those videos with them, especially with the one named Tricia Hirshberger, 551 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:23,680 Speaker 1: will be filled with sexist remarks. I always see comments 552 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:26,160 Speaker 1: and top comments that refer to their breasts and other 553 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:30,320 Speaker 1: objectifying remarks. Why because those comments seem always to be 554 00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:35,920 Speaker 1: top comments, which only further encourages those remarks. YouTube has 555 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:39,040 Speaker 1: help by allowing YouTubers smart troll like comments is spam 556 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:42,280 Speaker 1: and YouTube will hide the comment. Besides that, I'm not 557 00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,520 Speaker 1: sure how else YouTube is cracked down on trolls. They 558 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,520 Speaker 1: need to start warning into leading accounts if they haven't 559 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,440 Speaker 1: done so already, like if your comments have been flagged 560 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,880 Speaker 1: as spam over five times, YouTube should have the right 561 00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:59,160 Speaker 1: to remove the account. So thanks to Justin for his 562 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:03,480 Speaker 1: insight on trolling, and to everyone who's written into mom 563 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,120 Speaker 1: Stuff at Discovery dot com Again. You can find us 564 00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,120 Speaker 1: on Facebook, like us over there and follow us on 565 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:12,080 Speaker 1: Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast. Check out our Tumbler blog 566 00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:15,360 Speaker 1: It's stuff I've never told you dot tumbler dot com. 567 00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:19,680 Speaker 1: And if you resolved to get smarter for I know 568 00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:23,000 Speaker 1: the place you should go it's our website how stuff 569 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:28,560 Speaker 1: works dot com for more on this and thousands of 570 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:35,760 Speaker 1: other topics. Is it how stuff works dot com.