Speaker 1: Before we get started, I want to give a big
Speaker 1: shout out to our newest Patreon members Joshua F, Gary H,
Speaker 1: Katherine D, Judith A, Nick Are, Barbara F, Stacy B,
Speaker 1: Ridge V, Joe H, Elizabeth F, Pamela I, Kristen Ka, Nancy,
Speaker 1: and Elizabeth B. Thanks so much to all of you,
Speaker 1: and thanks so much to all of our Patreon members.
Speaker 1: If you'd like to experience being a Patreon member and
Speaker 1: all of the benefits that come with it, go to
Speaker 1: One you feed dot net slash join. I was so
Speaker 1: ashamed to be white. Why I'm saying that is because
Speaker 1: I could never understand why we got so much love
Speaker 1: be spit and then we give them back just the opposite.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the one you feed. Throughout time, great thinkers
Speaker 1: have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have, quotes
Speaker 1: like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you
Speaker 1: think ring true. And yet for many of us, our
Speaker 1: thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity,
Speaker 1: self pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't
Speaker 1: have instead of what we do. We think things that
Speaker 1: hold us back and dampen our spirit. But It's not
Speaker 1: just about thinking our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent
Speaker 1: and creative effort to make a life worth living. This
Speaker 1: podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in
Speaker 1: the right direction, how they feed their good wolf. Thanks
Speaker 1: for joining us. Our guests on the this episode is
Speaker 1: Lanuta Helen Nadulu. Helen is a loving mother, a successful entrepreneur,
Speaker 1: and I shall find out in this interview a survivor.
Speaker 1: Most recently, Helen was a guest speaker at a United
Speaker 1: Nations High Commissioners for Refugees charitable event in support of
Speaker 1: women and girls in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Her
Speaker 1: new book is Give Me Courage, The Inspiring True Story
Speaker 1: of Survival and Escape. Hi, Helen, Welcome to the show. Eric,
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me on your show. I'm very
Speaker 1: grateful for that. You are very welcome and I am
Speaker 1: very grateful to have you on. We're going to be
Speaker 1: discussing your book called Give Me Courage, The Inspiring True
Speaker 1: Story of Survival and Escape. And I know you wanted
Speaker 1: to mention the title of the book in Spanish for listeners.
Speaker 1: In Spanish, it's translated to wonderful. So we'll get into
Speaker 1: the book in a second. But let's start like we
Speaker 1: always do with the wolf parable. There's a grandmother who's
Speaker 1: talking with her granddaughter and she says, in life, there
Speaker 1: are two wolves inside of that are always at battle.
Speaker 1: One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness
Speaker 1: and bravery and love, and the other is a bad wolf,
Speaker 1: which represents things like greed and hatred and fear. And
Speaker 1: the grand outer stops. She thinks about it for a second.
Speaker 1: She looks up at her grandmother and she says, well, grandmother,
Speaker 1: which one wins? And the grandmother says, the one you feed.
Speaker 1: So I'd like to start off by asking you what
Speaker 1: that parable means to you in your life and in
Speaker 1: the work that you do. Thank you, Eric. Each day
Speaker 1: I sit with the imagery of both wolves, the good
Speaker 1: wolf and the bad wolf. It's a constant reminder of
Speaker 1: my thoughts selection what is to be nurtured and what
Speaker 1: is to be released. After many years of emotional struggle,
Speaker 1: losing myself in sorrow, regret, anger, guilt, and frustration, I
Speaker 1: have come to realize on a conscious level that I
Speaker 1: needed to shive my behavior, which I name the feeding
Speaker 1: ritual of the two wolves in regards to what to
Speaker 1: whom when, where, how, and why I feed each wolf.
Speaker 1: The need arose soon after my daughter Nancy introduced me
Speaker 1: to your inspiring podcast. The one you feed the Good
Speaker 1: Wolf leads me to compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness, releasing the
Speaker 1: dark thoughts, anger, patriot, and fear which comes from feeding
Speaker 1: the bad wolf. Without a bad wolf, the good wolf
Speaker 1: could not exist, and the awareness of their coexistent energy
Speaker 1: brings me to the present, recognizing the power of my
Speaker 1: mind to increase self awareness by examining the continuous flow
Speaker 1: of my thoughts and choices in turning thoughts into action,
Speaker 1: working towards the person I want to be in this lifetime.
Speaker 1: This parable helps me to travel consciously in my daily life,
Speaker 1: to receive grace with an open heart, and create space
Speaker 1: within my being for compassion, respect, love, and forgiveness. M
Speaker 1: that's a beautiful sentiment that is very very well said.
Speaker 1: Let's start with your book by kind of just tell
Speaker 1: us a little bit about what growing up was like
Speaker 1: for you. I know that you grew up in Romania,
Speaker 1: so tell us a little bit about your childhood. I
Speaker 1: was born in Transylvania, and in Transylvania, the part of
Speaker 1: Romania which is well in a way. It's called the
Speaker 1: home of drag La, and it's a frightening thought for many. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. I was born and this part of the country,
Speaker 1: or strongly did I did, between Hungarians and Romanians. I
Speaker 1: was born in my grandmother's house and I had my
Speaker 1: happiest memories where until the age of five, when my
Speaker 1: father decided to move us to the south where he
Speaker 1: came from, and we got my life. As young as
Speaker 1: I was, I just felt that I was removed from
Speaker 1: my place, something which later in life I earned to
Speaker 1: go back. Unfortunately, I wasn't able because I made choices. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so as you grew up there, you grew up
Speaker 1: in a communist country that was struggling at the time,
Speaker 1: but as you grew a little bit older, you met
Speaker 1: a doctor who played a pretty prominent role in your life.
Speaker 1: Tell me a little bit about that situation, because this
Speaker 1: kind of starts to lead us into your need to
Speaker 1: survive and escape. I've doctor Victor at all, the father
Speaker 1: of my children. Back in the seventy three in Buccarets, Romania.
Speaker 1: He was a kind and compassionate Gunaian man nearing the
Speaker 1: end of his scholarship in the hospital where he was
Speaker 1: working there night as a gynecologist and obstetrician to save
Speaker 1: women from prison and from the brink of death. I
Speaker 1: hope I get the black doctor. Many women in trouble
Speaker 1: pray when they're rived at the hospital with a complication
Speaker 1: caused by legal abortions, such acceptis semia. Has happened to
Speaker 1: my mother a patient, and that's how I met title.
Speaker 1: He was my mother's doctor. In Romania at the time,
Speaker 1: abortions very illegal. In termination of a pregnancy was performed
Speaker 1: at home with the help of alternative deadly methods. Some succeeded,
Speaker 1: a few were saved in the hospital under the condition
Speaker 1: that they first confessed before treated and then be sent
Speaker 1: to jail, while many died in silence. Dr Victor Atto
Speaker 1: was the only doctor. So you met this doctor, you're saying,
Speaker 1: because your mother had to go to the hospital and
Speaker 1: abortions were illegal at that point, and either you confessed
Speaker 1: to the abortion, in which case you got medical care
Speaker 1: and then you were sent to jail, or you just
Speaker 1: never confessed and most people died. But that this doctor
Speaker 1: Victor handled things differently, correct, That is true. So he
Speaker 1: doctor Victor Atto, he was the only one in the
Speaker 1: hospital the only doctor who refused to obey the confection
Speaker 1: confession protocol, and ironically, being black and falling in this
Speaker 1: circumstance during the Cold War give him immunity against the cruel,
Speaker 1: dictatorial dictator. She the system we're all living under. Saving
Speaker 1: lives in the Romanian hospital and putting his duty of
Speaker 1: care first and foremost was absolute from doctor victor Ato,
Speaker 1: and this was despite the childhood humiliation he suffered at
Speaker 1: the hands of a white doctor who grutually slapped his
Speaker 1: face in the presence of his father after moving a
Speaker 1: piece of paper victor inserted inside is in his own
Speaker 1: year whilst playing with other children. He chose to be
Speaker 1: a different doctor by passing his own pain of constantly
Speaker 1: being reminded he's black, often recalling that what he often
Speaker 1: he heard inside the hospital calls I'm a good doctor,
Speaker 1: outside I'm black. M So he was well respected within
Speaker 1: the hospital, but then outside, in the Manian culture, he
Speaker 1: was discriminated against strongly because he was black, and sometimes Eric,
Speaker 1: you know, he would and it happened when I was
Speaker 1: with him as well. We will walk on the street
Speaker 1: and we see one some of his patients, ex patients
Speaker 1: crossing the road and saying, sorid doctor, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: not supposed to talk to you because you're black. So
Speaker 1: you met the doctor when your mom was in the
Speaker 1: hospital and tell us kind of what the relationship between
Speaker 1: you and Dr Victor was over time. So what happened
Speaker 1: that I was out aware that my mom had illegal
Speaker 1: abortion performed on head and because she was sick that
Speaker 1: like people. So just before I went to school that day,
Speaker 1: I went to one of my neighbors I trusted because
Speaker 1: it's something you just don't really talk about it, and
Speaker 1: I told her to look after my mother. And when
Speaker 1: I came back from school, and she told me that
Speaker 1: my mother was taken to the hospital because she was
Speaker 1: changing color and she was getting really very ill, and
Speaker 1: that was a black doctor who looked after her. So
Speaker 1: I immediately went to the hospital. And the rules of
Speaker 1: the entrance in the hospital are very strict. You had
Speaker 1: to visit only two days a week, which was Thursday
Speaker 1: and Sunday. Unfortunately, there were not the days, and I
Speaker 1: asked the porter to let me in and uh, at
Speaker 1: the same time I was arguing with him. I saw
Speaker 1: this black doctor because he was the only one I
Speaker 1: heard coming out. So he asked me what was my issue?
Speaker 1: So I told him the story and he said, come on,
Speaker 1: I will take you to your mom. Yes, it is true.
Speaker 1: I have performed the d n c DE abortion for
Speaker 1: her and she's all right with it. And before then
Speaker 1: he had to ask me to go to his room
Speaker 1: to just put a gown on my shoulders, which was
Speaker 1: the white gown when the students would wear, to give
Speaker 1: me passage into the hospital so he doesn't get into trouble.
Speaker 1: And so then my mother, when she looked at me,
Speaker 1: she said, where did you meet him? So I said,
Speaker 1: I don't get it. And Victor left and the next
Speaker 1: day my father asked me to take some tips to him,
Speaker 1: because that's what was the tradition in room at the
Speaker 1: custom you tipped the doctor and he refused. Victor refused,
Speaker 1: and with that was the end the first time. And
Speaker 1: then a few months later, unfortunately I fainted at school
Speaker 1: and I was taking to the emergency and in the
Speaker 1: emergency room, I just heard doctor Victor's voice and I thought, oh,
Speaker 1: that's the black doctor. And I had to go through
Speaker 1: some private which you know I find very difficult. It's
Speaker 1: in the book the details. I was admitted in his word,
Speaker 1: and the next thing, um, we started talking, and there
Speaker 1: was that sense of familiarity, you know, when he placed
Speaker 1: that white gown on my shoulders, I just felt, you know,
Speaker 1: this energy, you know, flowing through my body. There was
Speaker 1: something and I've always had that awareness. So I felt
Speaker 1: very familiar with him, you know. And I was very
Speaker 1: open and talking, and I was always so fascinated about
Speaker 1: the free world because we're never allowed to even in quarrier.
Speaker 1: And then we had beautiful discussion, interesting discussion. He was
Speaker 1: telling me about Africa, and I was trying to find
Speaker 1: out you know, the tails people were talking about Africa,
Speaker 1: women being sold and being sold phone common and all
Speaker 1: these fantasies the Romanians held about Africa. And then I
Speaker 1: was discharged from the hospital and he asked me if
Speaker 1: I could meet him. So, although I was preparing for
Speaker 1: my Earth Wealth final exams and my university entry, I agreed,
Speaker 1: and behind my parents back, I went to bid team.
Speaker 1: But what happened to work with the black man, the
Speaker 1: whole area will know about it. So the word arrived
Speaker 1: home that they saw me walking with a black doctor.
Speaker 1: And then my mother, you know, she promised me never
Speaker 1: to do it, to meet him again and I refused
Speaker 1: to promise, and I got smile act with a wooden
Speaker 1: spoon to until I will say no, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to meet. And I never said that, so in the
Speaker 1: end she had to stop smarting me. And after that
Speaker 1: I decided to have a break to go and see
Speaker 1: my ex trumps in Transylvania to enter my law school
Speaker 1: philosophy and law. And when I came back, but then
Speaker 1: I had gone back to Boocalest to back up my
Speaker 1: paths and my younger sister, which who with six years younger, um,
Speaker 1: she came and she said, Helen, very softly, she said,
Speaker 1: you know something. She said, that black doctor, he's been
Speaker 1: sending so many white doctors Romainian doctors here to ask
Speaker 1: where you are. He needs to find you. And I
Speaker 1: was quite surproused because I didn't think that I meant
Speaker 1: that much to him. So I decided to give him
Speaker 1: a call to let him know what I'm going to do.
Speaker 1: And I ran him in the hospital and when he
Speaker 1: heard my voice, he was so overwhelmed to enjoy and
Speaker 1: he asked me to come over to his house for dinner.
Speaker 1: So I agreed. And my little sister, she is six
Speaker 1: years younger than me, but she's always the one who
Speaker 1: always found ways of misbehaving behind my parents back. So
Speaker 1: I couldn't do it because I was so straightened. You know,
Speaker 1: you look at my face, and you know, you know
Speaker 1: my parents who know I'm lying. So I asked to
Speaker 1: plan going out, because we're never allowed to live at night.
Speaker 1: We had to be back by seven o'clock. And so
Speaker 1: we sorted it out and I ranked him as we
Speaker 1: are coming, and we went to his apartment and the
Speaker 1: first thing there was this later I called it the
Speaker 1: Center of Africa, you know that that center of food.
Speaker 1: Yours hooking peanuts, but a soup which is almost amazing soup,
Speaker 1: you know, I had, and we were really enjoying dinner.
Speaker 1: And then with my sister, we're talking and my sister
Speaker 1: she's a bit chicky, and you know, she's funny, and
Speaker 1: I was getting very nervous because I could see the
Speaker 1: night was falling and we had to leave, and I
Speaker 1: kept on saying to my sister, come on, let's go,
Speaker 1: and my sister said, no, no, no, because she needed
Speaker 1: to finish the peanuts and the coca cola, because that
Speaker 1: is a rarity Romania. So in that time I, being Victor,
Speaker 1: asked me to go to the bedroom and then is
Speaker 1: there way I lost my virginity And after it happened,
Speaker 1: I just realized the point sequences of it, and I knew.
Speaker 1: I went home and the next day my mother realized
Speaker 1: that and I was too scared to confess, and they've
Speaker 1: taken me to the doctors. And so the story goes on. Oh,
Speaker 1: so you and Victor then go on and get married
Speaker 1: and go to Africa together right after many years. Because
Speaker 1: in Romania, to get married to a foreigner, first you
Speaker 1: need to apply to the government, but the president of
Speaker 1: the country to actually approve your marriage. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, you needed a consent of your parents, regardless
Speaker 1: how you were. When I needed the consent, I was
Speaker 1: around plenty, but I still needed my parents concern and
Speaker 1: my father refused to give it to me um saying
Speaker 1: that you urada see me dead, you know that leave
Speaker 1: Romania to go to Africa. But after I had my
Speaker 1: oldest daughter, Elsie, he said, because of the child, I'll
Speaker 1: give you the consent. But this is only because he
Speaker 1: didn't want it my daughter to be left without the father.
Speaker 1: And so you guys then moved to Africa yes, that's yeah.
Speaker 1: So you moved to Africa and things don't go very
Speaker 1: well with the marriage. There haven't been well for a
Speaker 1: long time before or even I left Romania. They were
Speaker 1: not right for a long time. But I had no
Speaker 1: other choice, Eric, because living back with my black child
Speaker 1: would have course so much paid for my daughter, and
Speaker 1: I chose to follow the path and go. Your daughter
Speaker 1: was facing a lot of hatred and discrimination in Romania
Speaker 1: for being black. I think you write in the book
Speaker 1: that people would spit at her and call her a
Speaker 1: black crow. Yeah, people who spit And I remember one
Speaker 1: one day I had to go by Trump and you
Speaker 1: know the journey, it's a little bit shaky, and I
Speaker 1: was holding my daughter and uh, I was next to
Speaker 1: the church which are for in the public transport for
Speaker 1: disabled and people they needed help to sit down, and
Speaker 1: there was a very rocking journey, and one of an
Speaker 1: older traveler said to the young man who was sitting
Speaker 1: on the chair, would you please stand up and give
Speaker 1: you a seat to this lady with a child. And
Speaker 1: the next thing there was this flooding of insults, you know,
Speaker 1: calling me a slut, calling my child a black row,
Speaker 1: speaking on us in saying that if I was able
Speaker 1: to sleep with the black man, I should be able
Speaker 1: to sustand the wrong in Trump. So that was one
Speaker 1: instance which you know, he still he still lives with.
Speaker 1: That was the most deciding moment when I knew I
Speaker 1: had to live Romania. Yeah. So even though things with
Speaker 1: Victor we're not going well, you knew you were not
Speaker 1: in a good relationship. You felt like you had no
Speaker 1: choice but to get your daughter out of Romania. That's right,
Speaker 1: that's right. You know. It's something which was very close
Speaker 1: to my heart, the responsibility I had towards my child,
Speaker 1: the responsibility of a growing up happy yep. And so
Speaker 1: you get to Ghana and you are kind of now
Speaker 1: in a totally new world. There's some wonderful parts of it,
Speaker 1: but lots of really bad parts of it. Strangely, Eric,
Speaker 1: when I arrived in Ghana, those moments the way the
Speaker 1: end of the discrimination and abuse. In Ghana, I was
Speaker 1: surrounded by laugh, by by respect, the opposite experience which
Speaker 1: I had in Romania. My father in law, he was
Speaker 1: the most amazing man. He was like the father. I
Speaker 1: never had that good relationship. I had a father, but
Speaker 1: the relationship wasn't as good as I had with my
Speaker 1: father and the fact that I was white, and that's
Speaker 1: what so surprised me, because you know, in Ghana, despite
Speaker 1: the colonial times and I don't know the history that much,
Speaker 1: but I suppose they have difficulties, they still revered the
Speaker 1: white people. And myself, within myself, I was so ashamed
Speaker 1: to be white on im say in that is because
Speaker 1: I could never understand why we that's so much love
Speaker 1: we spat and then we give them back just the opposite,
Speaker 1: the abuse and the her and racial slurs. And that
Speaker 1: wasn't happening in Ghana, but you know, I lived with
Speaker 1: what it happened in Romania. You know the way we
Speaker 1: treat that Romanians and treat black people. So your marriage
Speaker 1: continues to deteriorate in Ghana and you hit a point
Speaker 1: where you decide you need to leave. Say more about that. Yes,
Speaker 1: so I had a bitter divorce because he chose to
Speaker 1: have a second wife. And despite the fact, you know
Speaker 1: that I was white, I had so much support. I
Speaker 1: was the first white woman to divorce a black man
Speaker 1: in the Ghanaian court and I went first to one lawyer.
Speaker 1: He refused to take my case upon hearing who my
Speaker 1: husband was and my serve name because I was Mrs Sato.
Speaker 1: I then was in produced. But my late brother in
Speaker 1: law to one lawyer, Mr mad a mark of few,
Speaker 1: and I went to see him. I thought my brother
Speaker 1: in law sent me to him just to help me divorce.
Speaker 1: But the reason behind that for my brother in law
Speaker 1: was to keep it as quiet and as silent as
Speaker 1: he could do and hoping that the lawyer is going
Speaker 1: to change my mind. And mother was amazing, you know.
Speaker 1: He sat with me and he explained me the consequences
Speaker 1: if I, you know, divorce, I mean, it's the custody
Speaker 1: of my children. And he realized and he would try
Speaker 1: to talk to my husband and see whether he can
Speaker 1: we can sort of sit down and negotiate our marriage.
Speaker 1: Which I wasn't very happy about it because for me,
Speaker 1: in my heart, I know it was the end. And
Speaker 1: he said, look, leave it with me. I will let
Speaker 1: you know in a couple of days because I don't
Speaker 1: know whether I would be able to take or not
Speaker 1: the case. And in a couple of days he called
Speaker 1: me to the chambers and he said, look, I need
Speaker 1: to be very honest with you. It has been the
Speaker 1: hardest decision for me. Doctor Victor Ato. He was my
Speaker 1: mate in the boarding school and in our whole job.
Speaker 1: We don't go against our friends. But I had a
Speaker 1: chat with him and the way he handled our meeting
Speaker 1: or something which I was deeply disappointed. So based on that,
Speaker 1: I decided to go ahead with the divorce, filing the divorce.
Speaker 1: But I just wanted you to know that you still
Speaker 1: risk losing your children because at that time, you know,
Speaker 1: I was just doing just a few you know, small
Speaker 1: things as works. So he was, you know, a doctor
Speaker 1: with a big income, with a big reputation. So as
Speaker 1: one day Victor said in court when he objected the
Speaker 1: judge giving me the custody of all children and my children,
Speaker 1: he said, she's nothing and I'm a doctor. So that's
Speaker 1: summarized his position. Anyway. In the end, I was so lucky.
Speaker 1: My court case was presided by a judge, a lady
Speaker 1: judge who could see and understand where I came from.
Speaker 1: And I got all the financial entitlements I should get.
Speaker 1: The only job I had is to look after my children.
Speaker 1: But then we had an issue of you know, my
Speaker 1: children going to see their father, you know, at the weekends,
Speaker 1: and then I felt my children they were poisoned their
Speaker 1: minds to a point when after three days my son
Speaker 1: would not even want to come to me. He was
Speaker 1: a toddler. So I decided, and I think the best
Speaker 1: thing is for me, funny on all discomforts, I need
Speaker 1: to leave all behind. And I decided to pack my
Speaker 1: bags with my suitcases and the children and fly them
Speaker 1: out illegally because I was giving the custody of the
Speaker 1: children back only we did Ghana, not to take them
Speaker 1: out of Ghana. So I decided to smuggle them. And
Speaker 1: I had a very good friend, actually two good friends
Speaker 1: of mine who helped me. I in an alex and
Speaker 1: I was able to escape. In the book, you tell
Speaker 1: the story of sort of getting the children, getting on
Speaker 1: the plane and just how much fear you had about
Speaker 1: you know, if you had been caught trying to take
Speaker 1: the children back to Romania. It's a very tense situation.
Speaker 1: Was so tense I still have at times nightmares of
Speaker 1: those moments because if I was to be caught, my
Speaker 1: children would have been taken away from me. Because that's
Speaker 1: so many Gunian men used to do when they went
Speaker 1: to Ghana. They decided to marry a white woman. If
Speaker 1: the white woman will not agree or will not be
Speaker 1: happy with it. They will just make sure they are
Speaker 1: rich their departure, departure in the middle of the night,
Speaker 1: and the children. And then I had another experience not
Speaker 1: long before I flew out. I came up ros this
Speaker 1: white lady as you. She was from North Europe, and
Speaker 1: I dedicated my book to her. She became an alcoholic
Speaker 1: jewe to the pain she couldn't enjoy anymore. And she
Speaker 1: was in the ghata, you know, smelly. I was with
Speaker 1: my drive at the time, and I tried to help
Speaker 1: it and I couldn't. She was just almost unconscious. So
Speaker 1: that was for me one of the biggest moments to
Speaker 1: realize and to know and to see what emotional pain
Speaker 1: can do to us. And that memory I carried with
Speaker 1: me and I still carry, and I wanted to dedicate
Speaker 1: the book. So you smuggle the three children out of
Speaker 1: Ghana in a daring escape and you get back to Romania.
Speaker 1: Which is good that you got out of Ghana, but
Speaker 1: now you've moved back to the same situation of being
Speaker 1: in the country that is not going to be very
Speaker 1: friendly to your three children. Yes, and I knew that,
Speaker 1: but I had no at that option at the moment
Speaker 1: because while I was in Ghana, before I left, I
Speaker 1: tried to get an entry visa as a tourist in Canada,
Speaker 1: but I was refused. So I knew that my only
Speaker 1: option for the time being is Romania. And the shock
Speaker 1: I had eric once Landon I went through the checkout immigration,
Speaker 1: I just realized I just came to find out that
Speaker 1: I forgot to speak Romanian and it's only was only
Speaker 1: a couple of years away from Romania. So I was
Speaker 1: so shocked because later I found out it's a post
Speaker 1: traumatic scene TRUMP. So because of what Romania meant for
Speaker 1: me and my memories, they were hunting me and the
Speaker 1: fear of going back into the same country and I
Speaker 1: forgot the language, and that was one big shock for me.
Speaker 1: So I went back home and my parents they were
Speaker 1: very good and uh they were trying to come for
Speaker 1: me and keep on asking me to please keep up
Speaker 1: my passport because I didn't want it. I had a passport,
Speaker 1: the Romanian passport issued because I was married to a foreigner,
Speaker 1: and when I entered that country, I didn't tell them
Speaker 1: I wasn't married with the man who facilitated me to
Speaker 1: have that passport, So my parents. They kept on saying,
Speaker 1: give up passport. You learn what you learned, and now
Speaker 1: you have to get on and look after your children.
Speaker 1: We are going to help you. You will get the
Speaker 1: office job. And you know they were trying to, you know,
Speaker 1: make it better for me. But I knew that my
Speaker 1: dream was to give my children a life free of
Speaker 1: races of abuse. And I just needed to leave Romania
Speaker 1: and I needed time to find the country where I
Speaker 1: could go. And while I was in Romania, I decided
Speaker 1: to apply for United States and I was refused, and
Speaker 1: then m I went to a psychic and she told
Speaker 1: me that I was going to go to a country
Speaker 1: starts with a And the taxi driver dropped us right
Speaker 1: in front of the Australian Embassy and I said to
Speaker 1: my friend Assaiary, this is the country with a Australia
Speaker 1: And my friend I said, I'm crazy. Do you know
Speaker 1: where Australia is? And I said, sort of the methina
Speaker 1: I know about Australia. It was the greatest export of
Speaker 1: all And then I have applied. Uh So I went
Speaker 1: into the embassy and I had to go to a
Speaker 1: short interview and I remember those this kind of Australian man.
Speaker 1: It is have glasses looking at me, questioning, because obviously
Speaker 1: I was suspicious. You know, I've been in Romania for
Speaker 1: such a long time, so many months without my husband,
Speaker 1: the children, they're back that and he said to me,
Speaker 1: you know something left to application here with me. But
Speaker 1: let me be honest with you. She said, I don't
Speaker 1: trust you. You want to live in Australia. And I
Speaker 1: looked at him and as my I said, what makes
Speaker 1: you think I will do that? Is that a fact
Speaker 1: I have a Romanian passport? And he looked at me.
Speaker 1: He said, ring me in a couple of days and
Speaker 1: I will let you know. So when I rank him
Speaker 1: in three days start he said, yes, although I don't
Speaker 1: believe you, I will still give you the visa. So
Speaker 1: that's how I managed to get the Australian tourist visa.
Speaker 1: So you land in Australia and you're eventually able to
Speaker 1: get your children there with you. Yes, after one year,
Speaker 1: quite a travail you went through to get out of Ghana,
Speaker 1: to get back to Romania, to find a land to
Speaker 1: live in, rejected from the US and Canada, and you
Speaker 1: get to Australia and finally after a year, you're able
Speaker 1: to reunite your family. I clearly remember that day, Eric,
Speaker 1: the relief I felt when I saw my children arriving
Speaker 1: in Sydney and from the airport we went home. I
Speaker 1: managed to rent a beautiful place in a beautiful area,
Speaker 1: and I was walking along the park, the side park,
Speaker 1: with my children and see my children so happy, and
Speaker 1: my eldest daughter asking me, ill, see, Mama, why do
Speaker 1: people here in Sydney spit on you and call us
Speaker 1: black cross? You know? And I tell her you like here.
Speaker 1: And this is not to say that Australia it was
Speaker 1: always free over racist, it's clear from the ab oliginal struggle.
Speaker 1: But comparing to Romania at that time and perhaps now,
Speaker 1: my children were treated more fairly in this land of
Speaker 1: opportunity of Australia. And you guys have remained happily in
Speaker 1: Australia all these years later. Yes, we are so happy.
Speaker 1: I mean even this morning I was we're talking to
Speaker 1: my son. You know how sometimes I have to pinch
Speaker 1: myself because I realized, but to see how happy we
Speaker 1: are here and the opportunity we have, and even to
Speaker 1: be able I was talking to my son this morning
Speaker 1: to be able to come to this place for holiday
Speaker 1: if it has been beyond my wildest dring, I was
Speaker 1: total gift. Australia has been a gift to us. You
Speaker 1: were very brave to go through everything that you went
Speaker 1: through for you guys to make it there. And I
Speaker 1: think it's such a beautiful story that shows you know
Speaker 1: how much everyone just wants a place that they can
Speaker 1: be safe and not discriminated against and not under dictator
Speaker 1: type rule, and you know, just the chance to live
Speaker 1: a decent life. I count my blessing every day, especially
Speaker 1: when I watched the news around the world, even with
Speaker 1: this coronavirus. You know, we've been so well looked at times,
Speaker 1: so scared of, and I am so grateful every day
Speaker 1: I say my prayer of gratitude to this country and
Speaker 1: to this place and to this line. Well, we have
Speaker 1: a lot of Australian listeners, so shout out to all
Speaker 1: you Australian listeners for all the kindness your country has
Speaker 1: show owned to Helen. Well, Helen, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for taking the time to come on again. Your book
Speaker 1: is called Give Me Courage, and it's a really brave
Speaker 1: and beautiful story, and you have such a wonderful spirit.
Speaker 1: You're so kind, you're so brave. It's just been a
Speaker 1: pleasure to get to know you. Thank you Eric for
Speaker 1: having me. I feel blessed to be able to share
Speaker 1: my story on your podcast because it's such an inspiring podcast.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I feel really blessed. Thank you, Thank you
Speaker 1: do and have a LOVELYSA. If what you just heard
Speaker 1: was helpful to you, please consider making a monthly donation
Speaker 1: to support the One You Feed podcast. When you join
Speaker 1: our membership community. With this monthly pledge, you get lots
Speaker 1: of exclusive members only benefits. It's our way of saying
Speaker 1: thank you for your support now. We are so grateful
Speaker 1: for the members of our community. We wouldn't be able
Speaker 1: to do what we do without their support, and we
Speaker 1: don't take a single dollar for granted. To learn more,
Speaker 1: make a donation at any level and become a member
Speaker 1: of the One you Feed community. Go to when you
Speaker 1: Feed dot net slash Join The One You Feed podcast
Speaker 1: would like to sincerely thank our sponsors for supporting the show.