WEBVTT - Bob Dylan Is Born Again (A Bob Dylan Story, Chapter 5) 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.240 Blood on the Tracks is the production of I Heart 0:00:02.360 --> 0:00:06.800 Radio and Double Elvis. Bob Dylan was a musical genius 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:09.680 and one of the greatest songwriters of all time. He 0:00:09.760 --> 0:00:13.920 didn't follow leaders. He chased that thin, wild mercury sound. 0:00:14.480 --> 0:00:17.520 He never looked back. Even as the times changed, and 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:21.680 as the times changed, Bob Dylan changed. He tried on 0:00:21.800 --> 0:00:25.880 and discarded identities like they were mass He transformed. He 0:00:26.000 --> 0:00:30.120 transfigured in Somewhere along the way, the Bob Dylan that 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:40.800 you thought you knew died. This is his story once again. 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:46.960 This is doctor ed Sailor. Is now day five, August six. 0:00:47.080 --> 0:00:50.519 I just finished my review of the patient Robert Zimmerman, 0:00:50.680 --> 0:00:53.360 a k a. Bob Dylan here at my home in Middletown, 0:00:53.880 --> 0:00:57.560 New York. The laceration to his leg is healing nicely. 0:00:57.960 --> 0:00:59.959 It's an injury so minor that I've failed to eat 0:01:00.120 --> 0:01:03.040 mentioned it so far. I mentioned it now because everything 0:01:03.080 --> 0:01:06.400 else seems to be returning to normal. As for Bob himself, 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:10.320 I'm afraid he's not in the best shape mentally speaking. 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:13.960 He's struggling to process what seems like a minor accident. 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:18.440 He's not sleeping, something I've tried to rectify with more morphine. 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:21.840 I shall, however, review this over the coming days, as 0:01:21.880 --> 0:01:25.880 it seems to have brought on more hallucinations. Only this 0:01:25.959 --> 0:01:36.680 morning he was claiming he's seen Jesus Christ, our savior. 0:01:36.920 --> 0:01:40.919 That's who I'm talking about. Being noticed can be a burden. 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:46.080 Jesus got himself crucified because he got himself noticed. That's 0:01:46.080 --> 0:01:51.440 why I change a lot when you think about it. 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:54.840 No matter which way you look, Jesus is the answer. 0:01:56.320 --> 0:01:59.400 He died for sinners, and through his death he paid 0:01:59.440 --> 0:02:04.000 for all us ends. I've been touched by Jesus physically. 0:02:04.520 --> 0:02:09.440 Did you know that it happened? I didn't imagine it. 0:02:11.040 --> 0:02:15.240 It changed me forever. Sometimes you have to be directed 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:20.120 by a higher power, gotta serve somebody. You make yourself 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:22.560 in this life, but you can be informed by those 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:26.680 who have a broader perspective. Christ entered my life in 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:31.239 the late nineteen seventies. His words and actions gave me comfort, knowledge, 0:02:31.520 --> 0:02:36.040 salvation for everyone else. For those who didn't believe me, 0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:39.640 they just saw it as fresh blood on the tracks. 0:03:00.760 --> 0:03:19.000 Chapter five, Bob Dylan is born again. The prayer of 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:21.760 faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise 0:03:21.840 --> 0:03:25.520 him up. And if he hath committed sins, they shall 0:03:25.560 --> 0:03:32.760 be forgiven. I'm sure you've seen by now that transfiguration 0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:36.280 can come in many forms. It can be physical, it 0:03:36.360 --> 0:03:39.520 can come through song, through lifestyle, but it can also 0:03:39.560 --> 0:03:43.160 come through faith. I was born into the Jewish faith, 0:03:43.160 --> 0:03:45.920 and it's something that I've taken great wisdom from. I 0:03:46.000 --> 0:03:49.320 was bar mitzvahed two, but later in my life I 0:03:49.360 --> 0:03:53.440 began to have an interest in Christianity religious transfiguration. If 0:03:53.520 --> 0:03:58.640 you will now, let me make this clear. The teachings 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:02.000 of God, the Bible, Jesus were in my work before 0:04:03.640 --> 0:04:05.480 in the same way they are in my work after. 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:12.080 They've been one of the few constants in fact, but 0:04:12.240 --> 0:04:15.320 for a brief time, those teachings dominated my music completely. 0:04:16.040 --> 0:04:18.200 A rock and roll preacher, that's what they called me. 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:21.960 In a way, spreading the good news was the most 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:27.080 rock and roll thing to do. Jesus Christ I preached 0:04:27.120 --> 0:04:30.560 for three years, just like Jesus himself. Not that I'm 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:33.840 comparing myself to him, of course. Sure I've sold more 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:36.440 records than him, but he did save us all, so 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:41.719 I think he wins this round point. Being the Bible 0:04:41.760 --> 0:04:43.719 and the Lord have always been there in my songs. 0:04:44.360 --> 0:04:46.880 I mean, I mentioned the Devil in the first verse 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:50.520 of the first song on my first album, Go and 0:04:50.560 --> 0:04:55.520 Look it Up. It's there Christ entered my life. Look 0:04:55.520 --> 0:04:58.920 at the John Wesley Harding album too. That one's got 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:01.080 lots of the Good Book in it. But no one 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:03.480 had a problem with that when it came out. They 0:05:03.520 --> 0:05:07.800 loved it. In fact, even Elvis himself said, rock and 0:05:07.880 --> 0:05:11.520 roll is basically just gospel music or gospel music mixed 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:14.159 with rhythm and blues, so it's a wonder. There was 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:16.920 such a big backlash when I started singing about Jesus 0:05:16.920 --> 0:05:21.880 and Christianity overtly. People thought I was preaching at them, 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:24.840 but I was just offering a point of view like 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:27.080 I've been offered when I first started going to church. 0:05:27.520 --> 0:05:31.080 Being noticed it could be a burden. The shift in 0:05:31.160 --> 0:05:34.880 my work came on the album's Slow Train, Coming Saved 0:05:34.960 --> 0:05:38.880 and Shot of Love. Those are albums I still get 0:05:38.880 --> 0:05:43.000 behind to this day, but other people, other people couldn't 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:46.640 get behind them. I still can't to this day. Even 0:05:46.720 --> 0:05:49.400 John Lennon had an issue with it. I didn't imagine it. 0:05:51.680 --> 0:05:55.040 John Lennon, Mr. Peace and Love wrote a song called 0:05:55.400 --> 0:05:58.720 Serve Yourself Have you ever heard that, not a lot 0:05:58.720 --> 0:06:02.440 of people have. It's only a demo. It's rough, like 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:06.720 a sketch, very punk, very angry. You got to hand 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:08.359 it to John and he could write a song, but 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:13.760 the subject matter that was less appealing to me. He 0:06:13.800 --> 0:06:16.400 wrote it as a reply to my song Gotta Serve 0:06:16.480 --> 0:06:21.080 Somebody a little glib pardy agitated swipe at my interest 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:25.440 in Jesus. He was rattled and why did he care 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:29.039 so much about what I was singing about. Maybe he 0:06:29.080 --> 0:06:31.960 wanted a little revenge for my song fourth time Around, 0:06:32.000 --> 0:06:36.320 which was a friendly dig at his Norwegian wood. Who knows. 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:40.000 Despite a lot of reactions like that, I still went 0:06:40.040 --> 0:06:41.960 ahead and spread the word of the Lord on those 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:45.000 three albums in the three gospel tours to promote them. 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:49.880 Jesus the Answer. Some shows on those tours reminded me 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:53.240 of that Newport Folk Festivals show, which is funny because 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:56.280 with my message, I was being the complete opposite of 0:06:56.360 --> 0:07:00.000 Judas really, but some of the crowd just didn't get 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:02.960 at it. It's not what they came to see, it's 0:07:02.960 --> 0:07:07.040 not what they wanted to see. I was singing about 0:07:07.040 --> 0:07:09.760 the same things I was singing about before, just in 0:07:09.800 --> 0:07:13.200 a different way, but they couldn't see it, and that 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:18.920 wasn't my problem. But it is your problem. It's our problem. 0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:24.040 Shut up. Like I was saying, those shows, I wouldn't 0:07:24.120 --> 0:07:28.640 change them, same for those albums. What an artist can't 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:34.120 change and adapt? Transfiguration moves in mysterious ways. You can't 0:07:34.160 --> 0:07:37.880 always decide how it moves and how you change. T 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:43.640 Bone Burnett, David Mansfield, Stephen souls Bono, all those guys 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:47.520 found salvation like me, differences. No one gave them a 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:52.920 hard time. We're different. You know that. You shut up. 0:07:54.120 --> 0:07:57.320 The question I asked all the time is why why 0:07:57.360 --> 0:07:59.560 did I start singing about Jesus and the Lord so 0:07:59.640 --> 0:08:04.920 intense sleep? Why did I embrace Christianity? I had my reasons, 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:08.280 and we'll get to them in time, but let me 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:10.920 tell you right now, it was not because I was 0:08:10.960 --> 0:08:14.360 having a personal crisis. I've seen that written lots of 0:08:14.400 --> 0:08:17.680 times before. People think you find religion when you're down 0:08:17.720 --> 0:08:21.120 and out, Well, not me. Is that some kind of joke. 0:08:21.920 --> 0:08:25.240 Don't listen to him. Our personal life wasn't in crisis. 0:08:26.880 --> 0:08:30.160 Our personal life was fine. We had three girlfriends at 0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:34.880 once Helen could have been five. Don't use that word. 0:08:35.520 --> 0:08:40.520 Hell yeah, that word. Don't talk about private matters either. 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:45.600 Our relationships broke up. So what broke up? We ruined them. 0:08:45.720 --> 0:08:48.319 We were on a self DESTRUCTI mission with our private life. 0:08:49.559 --> 0:08:55.679 How so February ninety seven, remember Malcolm, our girlfriend at 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:59.320 the time sat around the breakfast table, the family breakfast table. 0:09:00.120 --> 0:09:02.920 Then our wife came in. How would you feel if 0:09:02.960 --> 0:09:04.920 you came down and saw the person you were married 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:07.360 to sitting with his lover around the breakfast table with 0:09:07.520 --> 0:09:12.640 your kids. That was your idea, It was your idea, 0:09:13.360 --> 0:09:17.880 and then you screamed at her. All right, our marriage 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:21.360 fell apart. That's not unusual. Every relationship we had at 0:09:21.360 --> 0:09:24.920 the time fell apart. Then there's the drugs and drink 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:28.760 here we go. Yeah, you can act like that when 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:32.040 you're twenty one. But might I remind you of our profession. 0:09:32.720 --> 0:09:36.560 Oh then there's the film Bobby and Sarah whatever we 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:40.720 call it. My god, that fucking film it was called 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:43.920 Ronaldo and Clara. How much time do we waste on that? 0:09:44.640 --> 0:09:48.840 How much money it? It was? We were such a 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:51.040 mess that you wanted to stay on tour because you 0:09:51.040 --> 0:09:54.640 couldn't bear to go home. That's the truth, isn't it? Pathetic, 0:09:55.400 --> 0:10:01.440 a little boy lost. Okay, you've made your point. Look 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:04.400 it's true it wasn't the best time for me personally 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:07.400 or professionally. But I still dispute that I was lost. 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:11.920 I wasn't so much searching for something more, just stumbling around. 0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:17.360 My girlfriend at the time, one of our many girlfriends, Yes, 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:22.800 one of our many girlfriends, Mary Alice Artees she was 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:25.600 born again. Whatever that meant. Sometimes you have to be 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:29.640 directed by a higher power. But a lot of what 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:31.440 she had to say seemed to be true to me. 0:10:32.520 --> 0:10:36.200 It resonated with me. I'd come to see, there's no 0:10:36.400 --> 0:10:40.960 right and left. There's just truth and untruth. There's honesty 0:10:41.000 --> 0:10:45.080 and hypocrisy. It's all in the Bible. It's the only 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:48.400 thing that stays true no matter which way you look. 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:53.959 Mary introduced me to the Vineyard Christian Fellowship and Evangelical 0:10:54.040 --> 0:10:58.000 Christian Denomination. I met all those guys and we talked. 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:00.920 I asked them all about the Bible, and they answered 0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:04.480 all my questions. They said, if I wanted to know more, 0:11:04.600 --> 0:11:08.160 there was a Bible class I could attend. I'd assumed 0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:10.280 i'd be going back on tour soon, and when they 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:12.439 told me the class was going to run for three months. 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:15.120 I thought they were crazy. I can't give up that 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:21.040 much time. One day, though, I remember waking up. I 0:11:21.080 --> 0:11:25.760 looked at the watch on my nightstand. It was seven am. 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:29.640 I was alone, no family with me, no girlfriend around, 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:33.880 no tour booked, no band. I don't know why, but 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:39.400 I felt compelled to go. It just made sense. There 0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:42.240 was something in me that wanted to study, to learn, 0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:47.439 to change. That's why I changed a lot. I got 0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:49.480 in my car and drove straight to receive it where 0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:53.480 the Fellowship's offices were. I stayed for over three months 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:58.200 and learned more than I ever thought possible, comfort, knowledge, salvation. 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:04.560 Towards the end of Mary was baptized in a swimming 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:07.680 pool at the house of a Fellowship pastor. It was 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:12.360 total immersion. I went and witnessed the whole thing. Not 0:12:12.520 --> 0:12:15.880 long after, I was baptized in the ocean. I've been 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:21.880 touched by Jesus. I felt renewed. I had become a 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:28.320 different man, this time, transfigured by God. But why, Like 0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:32.280 I say, everyone asks, why, what happened to spark all 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:36.640 of this? Well, it had all started a year earlier. 0:12:37.559 --> 0:13:10.679 The Lord had given me a sign. If you confess 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:14.720 with your mouth Jesus is Lord, and believe in your 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:17.440 heart that God raised him from the dead. You will 0:13:17.480 --> 0:13:20.600 be saved. For it is with your heart that you 0:13:20.679 --> 0:13:23.800 believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth 0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:30.240 that you confess and are saved. The air was thick 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:34.720 inside the arena that night. I never understood that expression before, 0:13:34.760 --> 0:13:39.920 but that night it was thick like smog, hot and close. 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:44.520 Well that's how it felt to me. Anyway. We were 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:48.280 playing in San Diego, one of those giant places. That's 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:52.560 how we did that to all arenas and champagne and 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:57.120 parties no matter which way you look. I kept turning 0:13:57.120 --> 0:14:00.720 to Billy Cross, my lead guitar player. I kept asking 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:05.280 him if it was hot. No, Bob, he kept saying, God, 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:08.640 it was so hot. I've never known heat like that. 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:12.120 It was like I was staring at Hell cloaked in fur. 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:15.920 After a while, they moved one of those big fans 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:18.000 next to the stage and pointed it right at us. 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:21.960 The rest of the band were shivering, but me, I 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:27.040 was on fire. Jesus Christ. I had felt unwell for 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:30.560 a while. Touring can do that to you, but this 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:34.960 felt ten times worse than anything I've felt before that night, 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:39.120 I'd slid into some sort of feverish existence. When it 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:42.200 was time to play Maggie's Farm, I remember I couldn't 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:47.520 stop talking. I blurted out some old rubbish like I 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:51.200 was invited to play the Newport Folk festist. They invited 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:54.760 me three times. I played this song the last time 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:58.760 I was there. They never did invite me back. I 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:05.120 don't hold any grudges anyway. Sometimes I told this man 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:07.800 up here who asked me about the song, sometimes the 0:15:07.840 --> 0:15:12.880 whole world looks to me like Maggie's Farm. Sometimes I 0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:17.360 I ain't gonna work on Maggie's Farm no more. I 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:21.160 couldn't stop talking. Between the songs, I was rambling. I 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:24.680 felt compelled to talk. Things were just coming to me. 0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:30.480 I was getting hotter and hotter as the show went on. 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:34.280 A fever had started to grip my body. I felt 0:15:34.280 --> 0:15:36.480 like I was succumbing to it. I didn't imagine it 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:41.600 before the song signor. I stood in front of the 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:45.600 giant fan and didn't feel a thing, nothing. It was 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:50.680 like a bonfire. I started to ramble again. I took 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:54.440 a train once from Monterey, Chihuahua, up to San Diego, 0:15:54.760 --> 0:15:59.560 I said crowd cheered. This guy was sitting next to 0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:02.640 me on the rain, a man wearing a blanket. He 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:07.920 his eyes were burning up. It was there was smoke 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:12.160 coming out of his nostrils. I thought I'd talked to him. 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:14.080 When I turned around to look at him, he was gone. 0:16:15.760 --> 0:16:19.160 The crowd cheered again. Could they not see the state 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:21.920 I was in? Do they not notice? I was making 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:24.600 less sense as the night wore on. Being noticed can 0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:28.800 be a burden. We played the song and I felt 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:31.760 even worse. In fact, I wasn't sure i'd be standing 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:34.400 by the end of it. The final notes rang out, 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:37.320 and I felt like something was seriously wrong. I took 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:40.520 a few steps forward, the sweat from my head dripping 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:44.560 onto the stage floor. As I walked, A white mist 0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:47.040 appeared in the corner of my vision, and the loud 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:51.200 sounds of the arena slowly disappeared. It all sounded like 0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:54.440 I was under water. I felt my body about to 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:59.080 give away, But then something caught my eye high power. 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:05.720 Someone had thrown something onto the stage. Now, people throw 0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:08.520 things onto the stage all the time. It's not usually 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:13.000 too bad. Tom Jones got panties. I'm more likely to 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:16.320 get a paperback. But this time it was something small, 0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:20.360 something silver. It caught the light as it lay there. 0:17:21.560 --> 0:17:24.040 It looked closer and saw that it was a silver cross. 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:29.560 Christ injured my life. Now. Usually I don't pick anything 0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:32.200 up that is thrown on the stage. But the way 0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:36.000 this cross caught the light, it lured me in and 0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:39.880 the feverish heat. This cross looks so cool, It looked calming. 0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:46.560 It looked like salvation. Jesus is the answer. I bent down, 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:49.879 picked it up and placed it in my pocket. Twenty 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:51.960 four hours later and I was on another stage and 0:17:52.040 --> 0:17:56.600 another arena. This time it was Arizona. I felt even worse. 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:01.119 I was feverish again. I saw dots in front of 0:18:01.160 --> 0:18:04.159 my eyes. Made me think of those flashes from the 0:18:04.200 --> 0:18:08.320 camera bulbs way back at the Newport Folk Festival. Images 0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:11.960 from that day began to flash into my mind. Then 0:18:12.000 --> 0:18:14.640 I saw the road in Woodstock where I rode my motorcycle. 0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:19.920 It changed me forever. I smelled the Hell's Angels gasoline. 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:24.840 I saw the blood dashed against the wall of the Lafayette. 0:18:25.080 --> 0:18:30.359 That's who I'm talking about. Then I remembered the cross. 0:18:31.760 --> 0:18:35.720 I reached into my pocket. It was still there. I 0:18:35.760 --> 0:18:38.880 grabbed it and held it tightly holding on for dear life. 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:43.000 Touching it was like a shock to my system. When 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:45.960 I touched it, like a needle in my arm. Touched 0:18:45.960 --> 0:18:53.280 by Jesus, my fever slowly came down. I began to 0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:59.880 see properly in both senses. I was slowly brought to life. 0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:01.920 After the show, I put the cross around my neck. 0:19:03.040 --> 0:19:06.679 It transfigured me. I ended up wearing it for the 0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:10.200 rest of that tour. It even influenced the songs we 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:13.080 played during the shows. I changed the lyrics to some 0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:16.920 of those songs straight away, Tangled Up in Blue, for example, 0:19:17.720 --> 0:19:20.199 In that song, I mentioned a mysterious lady in a 0:19:20.240 --> 0:19:24.960 topless bar, quoting an Italian poet from the century. But 0:19:25.119 --> 0:19:28.480 live with that cross around my neck, I changed the 0:19:28.560 --> 0:19:32.280 lyrics to her, quoting the Bible, the Gospel according to Matthew, 0:19:32.320 --> 0:19:37.160 to be precise, That's who I'm talking about. It felt right. 0:19:38.400 --> 0:19:43.080 Even my songs transfigured along with me. I knew something 0:19:43.119 --> 0:19:46.840 had changed on that tour, something seismic. But what I 0:19:46.880 --> 0:19:49.199 didn't know was the Lord was just getting started with me. 0:19:50.400 --> 0:20:00.720 Soon we'd meet. We'll be right back after this. Were 0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:12.399 were were? The Lord blesses thee and keeps thee. The 0:20:12.480 --> 0:20:15.159 Lord make his face to shine upon thee, and be 0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:23.520 gracious unto thee, and gives the peace. Tucson, Tucson, Arizona. 0:20:23.600 --> 0:20:26.960 That's where it happened. That's where my life changed forever. 0:20:28.560 --> 0:20:30.480 If you could have given me a million guesses as 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:34.040 to where my life would alter beyond all recognition, I 0:20:34.119 --> 0:20:37.639 never would have said Tucson, Arizona. But it's true. I 0:20:37.680 --> 0:20:42.840 didn't imagine it. We were playing another show, another arena. 0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:47.280 Although my fever had improved, I still wasn't right. I 0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:51.760 was still being eaten up by something. Before we played Seor, 0:20:52.680 --> 0:20:55.320 I told the same story on the stage, the one 0:20:55.359 --> 0:20:57.960 about the man on the train, that man with the 0:20:58.000 --> 0:21:00.600 smoke coming out of his nostrils and whose eyes were 0:21:00.600 --> 0:21:04.480 burning up. I couldn't stop thinking about him. The whole 0:21:04.520 --> 0:21:07.560 scene kept coming into my mind. That's what I'm talking about. 0:21:10.240 --> 0:21:12.159 I saw him in my dreams and in my waking 0:21:12.200 --> 0:21:16.600 hours too. I was haunted by him. I didn't even 0:21:16.680 --> 0:21:20.480 know who or what he was. On stage, I started 0:21:20.520 --> 0:21:23.960 to feel dizzy again. The heat had returned, and I 0:21:24.000 --> 0:21:29.160 felt my temperature rocket all Just after thinking about him. 0:21:29.200 --> 0:21:31.399 I reached into my pocket and found the cross again 0:21:32.200 --> 0:21:35.520 I clutched it tight, but this time it didn't help 0:21:35.600 --> 0:21:39.040 like it had before. I knew I needed to up 0:21:39.080 --> 0:21:41.600 my dose, so I took it out of my pocket 0:21:41.640 --> 0:21:43.440 and put it around my neck for all to see. 0:21:44.000 --> 0:21:47.960 You make yourself in this. As soon as I put 0:21:47.960 --> 0:21:52.640 it there, the cross leveled me out. This tour had 0:21:52.680 --> 0:21:56.720 been draining. Where the motorcycle crash and woodstock back in 0:21:56.840 --> 0:21:59.959 sixty six had slowed my life down, my life had 0:22:00.040 --> 0:22:03.480 regained its velocity. By this point. I was once again 0:22:03.520 --> 0:22:08.800 reaching breakneck speed directed by a higher power. But the cross, 0:22:09.560 --> 0:22:13.360 the cross brought calm to me, to my world, to everything. 0:22:14.680 --> 0:22:17.800 The rest of the show sailed by, I was feeling 0:22:17.840 --> 0:22:21.360 better and better that night. When I was driven back 0:22:21.400 --> 0:22:24.040 to the hotel, they let me out at the front entrance. 0:22:25.359 --> 0:22:28.680 I didn't go in. I just stood in the parking lot, 0:22:28.760 --> 0:22:31.359 breathing the fresh air and gulps, with my new cross 0:22:31.440 --> 0:22:35.359 firmly around my neck. The parking lot was large and 0:22:35.400 --> 0:22:37.880 dimly litten. As I stared out into it, I could 0:22:37.880 --> 0:22:44.160 see something someone an old man with well. He looked 0:22:44.200 --> 0:22:46.359 like he had a kind of blanket over him. Right 0:22:46.440 --> 0:22:49.280 there on the other side of the lot. He looked 0:22:49.280 --> 0:22:52.800 like the thing from that train. I ran to where 0:22:52.800 --> 0:22:56.359 I had seen him, but he'd already gone. I searched 0:22:56.400 --> 0:23:00.240 the parking lot over and over, but nothing. After looking 0:23:00.240 --> 0:23:02.639 for almost an hour, I gave up. Being noticed can 0:23:02.680 --> 0:23:06.000 be a burden. I thought it must be lack of 0:23:06.040 --> 0:23:08.080 sleep that was making me think this way, so I 0:23:08.160 --> 0:23:12.119 called it a night. I made my way to my room, 0:23:12.160 --> 0:23:15.679 walking quickly down the long hotel corridor. It was so quiet. 0:23:16.440 --> 0:23:19.880 All I could hear were my footsteps. I don't know why, 0:23:19.960 --> 0:23:23.280 but I became aware that I was tensing up. Every 0:23:23.280 --> 0:23:25.560 door I passed seemed to make me more and more tense. 0:23:27.359 --> 0:23:30.600 The faster I walked, the more doors I passed, the 0:23:30.640 --> 0:23:33.879 more tense I became. I thought I felt breath on 0:23:33.960 --> 0:23:36.879 my neck. I felt like I could feel eyes on 0:23:36.960 --> 0:23:40.000 me too. I pulled the cross off my neck and 0:23:40.320 --> 0:23:42.399 held it tightly in my hand as I walked faster 0:23:42.480 --> 0:23:45.200 and faster down the corridor. By the time I came 0:23:45.240 --> 0:23:47.800 to my room, I was out of breath, partly due 0:23:47.800 --> 0:23:51.520 to my pace, but also due to my rising anxiety. No, 0:23:52.640 --> 0:23:58.920 not anxiety, terror, Jesus Christ. I fumbled with my room key, 0:23:58.960 --> 0:24:02.000 but I dropped it. I could feel that breath again. 0:24:02.640 --> 0:24:06.120 I spun around, but there was nothing. I clumsily picked 0:24:06.200 --> 0:24:09.119 up the key and threw open the door. As it 0:24:09.200 --> 0:24:11.280 slammed behind me, I ran to the window on the 0:24:11.280 --> 0:24:15.280 other side of the room. I pulled the curtains back 0:24:15.280 --> 0:24:20.959 and scanned the view silence. My room was facing the 0:24:20.960 --> 0:24:23.520 parking lot. I looked all over for that man, but 0:24:23.880 --> 0:24:27.280 again nothing. I ran back to the door and peeked 0:24:27.320 --> 0:24:32.679 through the spy hole. Nothing. I cursed that fever again. 0:24:33.400 --> 0:24:35.320 I thought maybe I should start cleaning up when I 0:24:35.359 --> 0:24:38.639 was on the road, start eating properly, cut the booze 0:24:38.640 --> 0:24:42.840 and the drugs, maybe even stop touring. Traveling can do 0:24:42.960 --> 0:24:48.280 things to your body and mind a lot. I slumped 0:24:48.280 --> 0:24:51.320 down onto the bed, holding the cross closely to my chest. 0:24:51.320 --> 0:24:54.280 As I closed my eyes, I'd never been more ready 0:24:54.320 --> 0:24:59.120 for sleep. The room began to spin again. I thought 0:24:59.119 --> 0:25:04.920 the fever was back, but I was wrong. The bed 0:25:05.040 --> 0:25:09.000 rumbled beneath me. I felt a huge movement, like the 0:25:09.080 --> 0:25:12.320 world around me was splitting in two. But I can't 0:25:12.359 --> 0:25:16.280 explain it. The world itself, the physical world was normal, 0:25:16.400 --> 0:25:22.000 but the spiritual world was splitting, moving changing somehow all 0:25:22.040 --> 0:25:24.280 around me. Sometimes you have to be directed by a 0:25:24.359 --> 0:25:29.840 higher power. I thought it must be that that thing, 0:25:31.000 --> 0:25:33.399 that man with the smoke coming out of his nostrils. 0:25:33.400 --> 0:25:39.800 But it felt different. This felt comforting. My temperature was 0:25:39.920 --> 0:25:43.560 rising again, my heart began to pound. I kept my 0:25:43.600 --> 0:25:49.240 eyes closed and held the cross. Instantly I felt a presence. 0:25:50.600 --> 0:25:53.520 I knew what it was straightaway. No one had to 0:25:53.520 --> 0:25:56.640 spell it out for me. It couldn't have been anybody 0:25:56.640 --> 0:26:02.679 but Jesus. I knew it was him, Christ, Lord of Lords, 0:26:03.240 --> 0:26:05.879 King of kings. He was in that room with me. 0:26:06.520 --> 0:26:12.480 Jesus is the answer. I lay there, stunned. I could 0:26:12.520 --> 0:26:16.159 feel him all around me, moving around the room. There 0:26:16.280 --> 0:26:19.760 was a silent grace to it all. I placed the 0:26:19.760 --> 0:26:22.760 cross on my chest and basked in the glory of it. 0:26:23.280 --> 0:26:27.720 I've been touched by Jesus. His presence was confirmed to 0:26:27.760 --> 0:26:30.960 me in a physical way when I felt a hand 0:26:31.000 --> 0:26:36.120 on me. I actually physically felt it physically. It started 0:26:36.119 --> 0:26:38.520 in the center of my body. Then I felt it 0:26:38.600 --> 0:26:46.840 all everywhere, covering me, cleansing me. The room was spinning quickly. 0:26:46.880 --> 0:26:50.400 Now my whole body was trembling too. I could feel 0:26:50.440 --> 0:26:53.200 the cross starting to rattle between my chest and my hand. 0:26:54.560 --> 0:26:57.280 With my eyes shut tight. I let it all pass 0:26:57.359 --> 0:27:04.000 over me, and then it stopped. I opened my eyes 0:27:04.040 --> 0:27:08.320 and the quiet had returned. The room was empty. There 0:27:08.359 --> 0:27:13.679 was nothing around me, no bright light, no apparition, no angels, nothing. 0:27:14.600 --> 0:27:16.359 I looked at the hotel bed and it was covered 0:27:16.400 --> 0:27:21.160 in sweat, but my body was dry. The fever had 0:27:21.200 --> 0:27:25.200 gone down, my temperature and heart rate had returned to normal. 0:27:26.200 --> 0:27:28.560 The glory of the Lord knocked me down and picked 0:27:28.600 --> 0:27:33.119 me up. It changed me forever. I truly had a 0:27:33.160 --> 0:27:35.439 born again experience. If you want to call it that, 0:27:36.960 --> 0:27:43.800 don't believe me, That's fine. People have told me ever 0:27:43.840 --> 0:27:46.359 since that they don't believe the Lord himself was present 0:27:46.440 --> 0:27:49.879 with me in that room that night. I can't prove 0:27:49.880 --> 0:27:52.919 anything to anyone except to say that I saw the 0:27:52.920 --> 0:27:56.960 world differently after that. As for the rest of the evening, 0:27:57.920 --> 0:28:03.159 I didn't sleep at all. Sometime in the small hours, 0:28:03.280 --> 0:28:06.679