Speaker 1: Welcome to Will You Accept This Rose? A production of
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio. There was an earthquake last night. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, you know what that earthquake was people being
Speaker 1: excited about my book dropping on Tuesday. This Tuesday, it's coming,
Speaker 1: and the earth shook all over Los Angeles, demanding copies. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: my baby's night yet. So morning, Los Angeles, So morning
Speaker 1: for my book that waits shifted? Oh my god? Is
Speaker 1: that we only we don't need one theme song? Why
Speaker 1: have one theme song when you can have to get
Speaker 1: ready for this one? Lisa, you know what time it is.
Speaker 1: It's time for hard to get a little close and
Speaker 1: a little thorny. Well, was gonna go one on one,
Speaker 1: gonna be hot energy phone convo's all gonna be super real.
Speaker 1: She wants to get with you and all the feeling thorny.
Speaker 1: Who feeling thorny? We're not Marie. Wow, I haven't actually
Speaker 1: heard that in a little while. Oh it's not done yet.
Speaker 1: And that was Avery Pearson and of course Mark River's
Speaker 1: up top two people who should be winning Grammys in
Speaker 1: the upcoming Grammy what you guys, This is a very
Speaker 1: special feeling thorny, and I feel kind of cocky saying
Speaker 1: that because I'm forcing my friend to interview um, and
Speaker 1: I wanted to say, up top, you guys, if you
Speaker 1: think if you have to find it hopefully, okay, I'm back.
Speaker 1: What are you wear? It's a romper I'm wearing a romper.
Speaker 1: Um you guys, if you think that you you've the
Speaker 1: road has risen to meet me when I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: you guys, I've written a book. Will you preorder it?
Speaker 1: None of you have been like stop talking about it. Bish.
Speaker 1: Not only did you not say that, you were like, yes,
Speaker 1: we preordered it. Here is our receipt and it's not
Speaker 1: too it's not too late. Just keep mailing it in
Speaker 1: because I'm gonna be doing giveaways today. I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: doing giveaways for next week. It is Aaron Foley's episode.
Speaker 1: This is happening, and this is what I want to
Speaker 1: tell you. Beyond that, in a perfect world, there would
Speaker 1: be so many things different than what is happening in
Speaker 1: Let's just start like, literally, not one thing. There's literally
Speaker 1: not one thing that I would have willed to be
Speaker 1: happening except for the following. In a dream world with
Speaker 1: my book coming out, I would be flying all over
Speaker 1: the world, coming to your hometown, doing readings, doing stand
Speaker 1: up meeting, all of you signing books, hanging out. As
Speaker 1: it is, I've been put into my shame hole. Say
Speaker 1: question to my garage in Los Angeles, California, And and
Speaker 1: so I can't I can't have a book tour. But
Speaker 1: you know what I can do doesn't mean that J J.
Speaker 1: Marine did not raise a drip. I am not a drip.
Speaker 1: I do know how to celebrate, and I'm throwing a
Speaker 1: fucking book released party slash comedy variety show that you
Speaker 1: guys can come to because it's online. It's this Saturday night.
Speaker 1: It's at Dynasty typewriter dot com and we it's on
Speaker 1: our Facebook page. If you guys are like, wait, what
Speaker 1: is it Dynasty typewriter dot com. It's this Saturday night,
Speaker 1: September five pm Pacific eight pm Eastern time. It's live,
Speaker 1: So you guys can you can email, you can like
Speaker 1: message us and stuff like that. But if you if
Speaker 1: you it's only five dollars, okay is it five bucks?
Speaker 1: And if you buy your ticket in advance and you're like,
Speaker 1: girl part in, I have a life. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to be home on Saturday night. The link is live
Speaker 1: for a whole week, so go to Dynasty type writer
Speaker 1: dot com. It's not just gonna be me. There's gonna
Speaker 1: be reading, so, there's gonna be chats, there's gonna be performances.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be me. Bachelor of the Year and twenty.
Speaker 1: Rob Benedict is coming and he's going to be performing
Speaker 1: a cover of a Katy Perry song, Who was My
Speaker 1: Mother's Favorite? We also have Friend of the Podcast Lauren Lopkiss,
Speaker 1: who was you guys saw the Wrong Missy during a
Speaker 1: quarantine on Netflix? She was Missy. If you haven't seen it,
Speaker 1: go watch it. She's great. But she was also on
Speaker 1: Orange as the New Black. She was on Crashing So Me,
Speaker 1: Rob Bennedict, Lauren Lakis. Also, if that's not enough for you,
Speaker 1: Brian Sofie, Friend of the podcast. He also hosts Throwing Shade.
Speaker 1: He is one on Fox and my brother Alaric. That's
Speaker 1: five creatures for five dollars. It's a dollar for each
Speaker 1: of us. And if you're like artem okay, I need
Speaker 1: another incentive if you bundle buying your book through the
Speaker 1: Dynasty Typewriter website. They have partnered with Skylight Books in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, and you can get a custom signed copy
Speaker 1: so you can be like Artem I want to give
Speaker 1: this to my boss, Melanie, so I will. You can
Speaker 1: literally tell me who to write it out to a
Speaker 1: custom sign to you, your friend, your sister, your loved one, whatever,
Speaker 1: Hey Melanie, thanks, I hope you like the book. You
Speaker 1: can do that. So that is the first thing I
Speaker 1: want to tell you. The second thing is if you're
Speaker 1: like girl, I don't want to do any of that.
Speaker 1: I don't have five dollars. I don't I don't know
Speaker 1: what your situation is, and I'm not judging. I've been
Speaker 1: giving out influencer boxes. Perhaps you've seen them. Now, two
Speaker 1: people here with me today. You can't say we don't
Speaker 1: love animals on the will Accept This Rose podcast. You
Speaker 1: can't say we haven't adopted the legal limit of animals
Speaker 1: that are you can have in Los Angeles, because I
Speaker 1: think between all of us we each have about seventy
Speaker 1: eight animals. With me today is is Kabie Levane and
Speaker 1: one of my very best friends on Earth. And if
Speaker 1: you guys are our Patreon member and you've been going
Speaker 1: through the Bachelor in New Zealand with us, you know
Speaker 1: this woman She also was on one of the main
Speaker 1: feeds recently with Rob Benedicts. She's one of my best friends.
Speaker 1: She's a great stand up comedian. She's also an excellent
Speaker 1: dog trainer if you need one in the city of
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. Ladies and gentlemen, my friend Lisa Delarios, Lisa dy,
Speaker 1: you guys got your influencer boxes this morning. What what
Speaker 1: did What did you think? Oh? I loved it. I
Speaker 1: was so excited. I was took the dogs on a
Speaker 1: walk and I came home and I had this really
Speaker 1: cute package on my front steps and it was like
Speaker 1: this cute like kind of teal and I was like,
Speaker 1: what is that? I didn't want anything is And I
Speaker 1: got so excited. And then I saw that it's a
Speaker 1: little miss Little Compton and I was like, oh, fuck yes,
Speaker 1: and it's very cute. It was. It was like the
Speaker 1: most like cutely packaged package I've ever received. It had
Speaker 1: like a the cute card with you and then like
Speaker 1: the pictures in it with the in the tissue paper
Speaker 1: even had a little birdies on it. I custom printed
Speaker 1: it because there's a story in the book. There was
Speaker 1: a there was a criminal at my hometown that would
Speaker 1: steal mail. That was crow named Poe the Crow. If
Speaker 1: you get the box, there's a there's a crow on
Speaker 1: the cover with a piece of mail in its beak.
Speaker 1: That's the printed custom. I kept the tissue weaver because
Speaker 1: I liked it so much. And then yeah, and then
Speaker 1: I do want me to say what was in it? Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: they that it had the book. And then it has
Speaker 1: really cute teal toote. Yes, it says little miss little Compton.
Speaker 1: And then a puzzle of you and mittens, which I'm
Speaker 1: so excited to do. I mean, I just felt like
Speaker 1: Santa Claus. I wanted to I just felt like everybody's
Speaker 1: having a hard time. Look, I didn't think i'd be
Speaker 1: launching this book in a pandemic. And if there's one
Speaker 1: thing J J. Marine taught me, it was how to customize,
Speaker 1: how to go to like basically the equivalent of party city.
Speaker 1: So it's like I can't throw a party. I can't
Speaker 1: have a party in my yard. I can't have a
Speaker 1: party in a bar, I can't have a party in
Speaker 1: a in a bookstore, but you can have it. So
Speaker 1: the puzzle, I don't know if you notice, Katie is
Speaker 1: a recreation of my sixth grade photo that's on the card.
Speaker 1: So leta you got one where you and when you?
Speaker 1: How about the box? The box alone is maybe my finest,
Speaker 1: the actual box, the stuff in it's so cute. Some
Speaker 1: fine Yeah, it's it's a fine box. And I was
Speaker 1: pulling into my parking lot and I saw a strange
Speaker 1: man trying to get into my building, and all of
Speaker 1: a sudden I was like, wait, is that Dan? Dan?
Speaker 1: And then sure enough it was Arden's Lovely my gentleman caller,
Speaker 1: my loved woman, gentleman friend Dan, and he turned around
Speaker 1: and gave me this lovely package and then poofy was gone. Dude,
Speaker 1: I mean this. Everybody thinks that the publisher I appreciate that,
Speaker 1: and I want to keep up the mystique that that
Speaker 1: the publishers treating me like I'm John grisha I'm I'm
Speaker 1: I'm I'm John Grisham like so, I I designed it all,
Speaker 1: I packed it all, I hand packed it all. I
Speaker 1: was gonna have a packing party with my friend outside
Speaker 1: last weekend, but there was so much so in ash
Speaker 1: in here. I couldn't make my beautiful babies covered in
Speaker 1: soot and stand out city city babies. No, so here's
Speaker 1: the thing, guys. If you're like, all right, are don't
Speaker 1: we get it? All your fancy friends, they gotta know
Speaker 1: you guys are my fancy friends. And you don't have
Speaker 1: to buy or you don't buy anything to get one
Speaker 1: of these. Here's how you do it. Go on my Instagram.
Speaker 1: I've posted fifty eight thousand photos of the book, or
Speaker 1: me with the book. Does something showing the book posted
Speaker 1: on your main Instagram page, say why you want to
Speaker 1: read it? Tag three of your friends and do the
Speaker 1: hashtag little miss Elsie. That's little miss Elsie. Post on
Speaker 1: your page is something of the book. It does screen
Speaker 1: grab anything from my page. And you're on October one,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pick three people and I'm gonna do a
Speaker 1: giveaway where I'm sitting three people a signed copy of
Speaker 1: the book. The Cutest the Cutest Box Ever. They caused
Speaker 1: some tissue paper. The sixth grade photo that was overly
Speaker 1: con fident but looking like barbed from Stranger Things Creation
Speaker 1: as an adult, where I had fake braces made and
Speaker 1: I made mittens come with me. Lisa drove mittens over
Speaker 1: that day to be in the photo. I was. I
Speaker 1: was the mittens wrangler for the day he drove over
Speaker 1: to Robin bond Swank studio and I was so good
Speaker 1: and quiet. She was miserable. You can see the look
Speaker 1: at her face was like, get me out of this
Speaker 1: woman's clutches, and then you get yourself a little miss,
Speaker 1: a little content tote. So just go on. I'll tell
Speaker 1: you what I wanted. I really wanted my actual sixth
Speaker 1: grade photo to be the cover, and they were like, no,
Speaker 1: we want people to recognize you. So I was like fine.
Speaker 1: So then I was like, okay, then I'll recreate it.
Speaker 1: And so I was rooting for. I was like, that's
Speaker 1: clearly the cover as me with mittens. But I actually
Speaker 1: believe I got the right cover that I was supposed
Speaker 1: to get. And then I was supposed to make this.
Speaker 1: I was supposed to start a puzzle company. It's an
Speaker 1: amazing gift box. It's an amazing gift box. I think.
Speaker 1: I think the fact that you designed it and packaged
Speaker 1: it makes it extra special. Thank you so much. I
Speaker 1: you know what I kept wanted. I knew again. I
Speaker 1: don't know, man, I'm locked in my house. I'm not
Speaker 1: Tina Fey, I'm not John Grisham. So I thought, what
Speaker 1: I can do is design ship, and I know the
Speaker 1: book is fun and good, and I thought everybody, everybody's
Speaker 1: having a hard year. So I was like, fuck it,
Speaker 1: I'm going to take every penny I've ever made, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make presents from my friends and gonna make
Speaker 1: it impossible for people to not want to photograph this.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make it impossible for people to not want
Speaker 1: to put it on Instagram. And I feel like that
Speaker 1: was the whole goal, was like grassroots and if they
Speaker 1: don't I just made them a little happy whatever. And
Speaker 1: if it didn't make them happy, then they're dead inside
Speaker 1: and that's not my problem and I can't fix that.
Speaker 1: So um, well, can I just also say please, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of tote bags out there? Yes. I actually
Speaker 1: I took it out and looked at it, and and I
Speaker 1: was like, this is a quality toe. I'll tell you what,
Speaker 1: because I've got a lot of totes in my life.
Speaker 1: And I actually spent quite a bit of month me
Speaker 1: on the tote because I was like, I didn't want
Speaker 1: a thin tote. I wanted like a booge. I wanted
Speaker 1: to be the equivalent of like a purse or a
Speaker 1: beach bag or a book bag. I want thank you
Speaker 1: so much, Lisa, because that was an intentional like I
Speaker 1: could have saved a lot of money. If I didn't
Speaker 1: make it, it would have looked the same, but it
Speaker 1: wouldn't have been a quality toe. No, it's a quality toe.
Speaker 1: It's got like the nice handles, like the sturdy handles,
Speaker 1: and it's it's a good size. Katie's nodding your craft
Speaker 1: out of it. Katie's nodding her head. And if you're like,
Speaker 1: guess what art and I might not win. I want
Speaker 1: that fucking tote you. I don't know if how many
Speaker 1: are left. You could try go see if they're still
Speaker 1: left at arten marine book dot com if you can
Speaker 1: get if you buy the book, you get it signed
Speaker 1: book and a free tote with it for the first
Speaker 1: fifty people. They might be sold out, but race over
Speaker 1: there and see if there's any totes left, because you
Speaker 1: know what, you could always have give one as a
Speaker 1: present if you win it and you put it on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I don't know your deal. I don't know where you're
Speaker 1: up to. And at the end of this episode, we
Speaker 1: are going to be doing some giveaways because people I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be doing and I'm gonna let you guys pick
Speaker 1: email in when you win and say, hey girl, I
Speaker 1: want Rose Podcast at gmail dot com. You tell me
Speaker 1: you want you want a mitten's puzzle, you want a toe,
Speaker 1: you want a T shirt. I don't know what your
Speaker 1: deal is. You tell me what you want, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna put four winners at the end of this. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna keep pawing. You guys are my friends. So here
Speaker 1: we go, Katie, thank you for your service. All right,
Speaker 1: here we are. It's me and Lisa. So Lisa and
Speaker 1: I let me just do a little up top because
Speaker 1: Lisa has read the book and we're gonna be chatting
Speaker 1: about that up top. Lisa and I met. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: shave some years off of us. Lisa. We met in
Speaker 1: two thousand and nineteen when we were twenty two and
Speaker 1: um we were doing stand up at Stand Up New
Speaker 1: York back in the day with you and me and
Speaker 1: Zach Galifianakis and A. D. Miles, Bobby Tuesdale and um,
Speaker 1: and we were we knew each other, we were buds.
Speaker 1: But then you reconnected when I moved back to New
Speaker 1: York after Mad TV in two thousand and nine, and
Speaker 1: then we started a comedy show. Um, but I just
Speaker 1: want to say, like when I first I always thought
Speaker 1: you were so talented, so different. I thought your stand
Speaker 1: up was so great, You're such a great writer. There's
Speaker 1: nobody like you. And I always just like you were
Speaker 1: just a nice person. And then we started this show
Speaker 1: in Brooklyn at the Union Hall and then sometimes we
Speaker 1: would do it at the Bellhouse called the Party Machine,
Speaker 1: where we would stage elaborate parties that were comedy show.
Speaker 1: I mean that's the equivalent of the Box. The Box
Speaker 1: is a party machine. Um. We because we alwould spend
Speaker 1: more money on costumes than we would make like we would.
Speaker 1: It was a theme party, you know, remember we did
Speaker 1: like a cruise ship theme and you were in like
Speaker 1: a captain tat and like yeah, so, but can I
Speaker 1: say like the premise of our show, which is your
Speaker 1: idea Party Machine show was totally your brain child. And
Speaker 1: you approached me and you were like, hey, you to
Speaker 1: start a show. And I had kind of stopped doing
Speaker 1: stand up because I'd gone back to school, and it
Speaker 1: was like I was like, yes, I do want to start.
Speaker 1: It was just like the right timing for both of us,
Speaker 1: and I wanted it to be good vibes. It was
Speaker 1: such good vibes. It was all fun and it was
Speaker 1: the theme was you and I were professional party planners
Speaker 1: and every single show was a different party and we
Speaker 1: were like, yeah, we went full blown costume, full costume.
Speaker 1: It did what was the first one dog days of summer,
Speaker 1: and we've had fake tans that sorry, we had fake
Speaker 1: tansum and then we had like beach balls that were
Speaker 1: going through that. But it was so dumb. We had
Speaker 1: like the baby we had a baby shower party. We
Speaker 1: we had we were like the most pregnant humans that
Speaker 1: had ever been. Oh yeah, we had family reunion. There
Speaker 1: was a lot. We had a lot of different we
Speaker 1: had when you can't do now? We did a Michael
Speaker 1: Jackson party. Can't do that now, you can't we get out?
Speaker 1: Did we have a like, uh, what's the pretty and
Speaker 1: pink sixteen candles? Probably because eventually you run out of thing.
Speaker 1: We had the birthday party. We had like a retirement
Speaker 1: party eventually. The one of snow Day was oh snow Day.
Speaker 1: I remember wearing a full snowsuit and being so hot
Speaker 1: on stage, but it was so fun. It was so
Speaker 1: hot and yeah, that's right. We had a lot of
Speaker 1: so the hot celebs came. I remember you were dressed
Speaker 1: early as Michael Jackson flirting with Jason studakas like with
Speaker 1: the glove and the fedora, and then you were but
Speaker 1: you looked just like Michael Jackson, and you were wondering
Speaker 1: if he was like into you. Yeah, I didn't like cute.
Speaker 1: I looked You're terrifying. It was not good. It wasn't.
Speaker 1: We have photos of it. With the glove, you had
Speaker 1: a bomber check and and he was like jammed in
Speaker 1: the middle of us on chairs, looking being a good sport,
Speaker 1: but looking kind of capture, like by these two insane
Speaker 1: women that had kind of captured him, which was the
Speaker 1: g D delight. And you and I have just we've
Speaker 1: done so many fun shows, so many terrible Remember when
Speaker 1: we did that stand up gig at the dog track
Speaker 1: in New York, Like we went out to some dog
Speaker 1: racing track and did stand up like in the middle
Speaker 1: of the casino, like in between slot misches. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I forgot about that. And there was a headliner there
Speaker 1: was I was the headliner. I was the headliner. It
Speaker 1: was It was not our best work, but we got
Speaker 1: through it. That's when you really boy has forty five
Speaker 1: minutes never seemed so long in my life. But Lisa,
Speaker 1: so I was like, I knew I wanted to do
Speaker 1: a feeling thorny, and I was like, who do I
Speaker 1: want to ask? And I just thought, Lisa is a
Speaker 1: big reader. Lisa loves books. Lisa knows me, she knows
Speaker 1: a lot about my family. Were the same age, and
Speaker 1: she also has a quirky family. Although we grew up
Speaker 1: in very different parts of the world, are very different.
Speaker 1: But I thought she would give sort of an honest
Speaker 1: we have not chatted beforehand, and uh, she's finished the
Speaker 1: book and we're just going to chat about the book. Lisa,
Speaker 1: you read it, little miss little Compton. You say, you
Speaker 1: say that, I'm It's yeah, it's such a fun read.
Speaker 1: It is such a delightful, fun compelling read. And you say,
Speaker 1: I'm a reader. But to be honest, yeah, I like
Speaker 1: to think of myself as a reader, but I don't
Speaker 1: have the focus really to finish books. It's all right,
Speaker 1: I start books. It's rare that I find a book
Speaker 1: that i'm I get into and then I like I
Speaker 1: want to you know, like I I'm excited to get
Speaker 1: back to it. And I absolutely felt that way about
Speaker 1: little miss little Compton. Yeah, it's I mean. And also
Speaker 1: you know that as a comedian, jaded old comedian, I'm
Speaker 1: I don't laugh easily, like I mean, I don't just
Speaker 1: it takes a lot to make me belly laugh. And
Speaker 1: I I swear to God l O L my way
Speaker 1: through this book like that makes that makes me feel
Speaker 1: so good. Art. I mean, I've always known um to
Speaker 1: the listeners, I've always known the art in It's like
Speaker 1: you know a word Smith. She's funny, like like rapid
Speaker 1: fire funny. You you're you have mad improv skills, but
Speaker 1: I had no idea that you could translate that into
Speaker 1: the written word. And it is really well written. It's
Speaker 1: really it's like I feel like you've been writing books
Speaker 1: for years. And and I'm not just saying I totally
Speaker 1: feel this way. I because you're my friend. I can't
Speaker 1: That means so much to me because I'm so and
Speaker 1: I'm not saying and I'm not saying I do not
Speaker 1: say this lately because I know people out there who
Speaker 1: have a been officially diagnosed or like, hey, like, I'm
Speaker 1: not saying this is like a joking way. There's a
Speaker 1: part of me that does I feel that I probably
Speaker 1: have a little a D D. So the sheer fact,
Speaker 1: it's always I've always been like a sprinter, not a
Speaker 1: marathon person of I get things done. But if you
Speaker 1: watched me, it's organized chaos, like it doesn't look I
Speaker 1: don't look like a person that's getting things done. And
Speaker 1: as you know, even when we would prep for party machine,
Speaker 1: you were very much a straight line, and I'm like
Speaker 1: a I'm like a spiral. Totally. Yes, that is so true.
Speaker 1: You were like rapid fire, like shooting ideas out. But
Speaker 1: it's not an order. It's not an order, it's like
Speaker 1: and so the sheer fact this to me, I don't
Speaker 1: know how this actually got I don't I don't know
Speaker 1: quite how it actually got made in that that it
Speaker 1: had to be. It's suthing. You can't do a book
Speaker 1: in one night. You literally can't complete Like podcasting is
Speaker 1: almost perfect for me, you know. Like, so it was
Speaker 1: to think that I actually had to have an overarching thing,
Speaker 1: have to be organized, have it be long, and then
Speaker 1: like have it make have each chapter sort of lead
Speaker 1: to the next and like be cleaned up and polished
Speaker 1: is so against how my brain and how I work
Speaker 1: that it's and and for anybody out there that's like
Speaker 1: wants to be an author if it makes you feel better.
Speaker 1: I did not sit down and write it from like
Speaker 1: eight am to four pm, like at first, it was
Speaker 1: like ten or fifteen minutes a day, Like I just
Speaker 1: couldn't do it. It's too painful to stare at the
Speaker 1: flank page. Yeah, and I remember you you telling me
Speaker 1: like when you were in the process of writing it,
Speaker 1: like that you would do these little time spurts yea,
Speaker 1: and yeah, I would black out like it was almost
Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, because it's also because it's
Speaker 1: about your life too, so it was it's not even
Speaker 1: like the super personal stuff like it was interesting what
Speaker 1: made me want to black out like that? They publisher
Speaker 1: requested a chapter of How I got so so for
Speaker 1: the listeners, like the gist of sort of the overall arches.
Speaker 1: My parents met and married on a dare in Manhattan
Speaker 1: and then moved to this tiny town of Rhode Island
Speaker 1: called Little Compton, Rhode Island, where I was born with
Speaker 1: my brother. And it's a town of three thousand people
Speaker 1: with the general store and the aforementioned criminal that's a
Speaker 1: crow and no stoplights. And I had stars in my eyes,
Speaker 1: and then somehow I made it onto an NBC sitcom
Speaker 1: by the time I was twenty two, and the publisher
Speaker 1: wanted to know how I got from the fields of
Speaker 1: Rhode Island to a sound stage in Los Angeles. And
Speaker 1: I remember writing that chapter, I blacked out like every
Speaker 1: other I just kept thinking who fucking care? Like who
Speaker 1: do you think you? Oh? Look at me on Meryl Street,
Speaker 1: Like it was literally it. I couldn't stop blacking out
Speaker 1: of like the arrogance to write, how dare you write?
Speaker 1: Like who cares? And I remember thinking, like, no, I
Speaker 1: would want to read that if it was if I
Speaker 1: was reading somebody else's book, would absolutely how did you
Speaker 1: do it? But not writing it felt like braggy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I can understand having that feeling. But this book is
Speaker 1: so not like that. This book is is generous, if
Speaker 1: that makes any sense. And I think I told you
Speaker 1: it kind of reminds me of And I don't know
Speaker 1: if anyone out there knows this author named Jean Shepherd
Speaker 1: who wrote all of these stories, a lot of short stories,
Speaker 1: but about his upbringing in the Midwest, and they're freaking
Speaker 1: hilarious because the details are so rich. But so you
Speaker 1: all probably will know that movie A Christmas Story, Yes,
Speaker 1: where they get their tongue stuck on the flagpole. Yes,
Speaker 1: that is based on a Geane Shepherd novel. So you know,
Speaker 1: it's just super quirky and like the details. That's what
Speaker 1: I was really impressed by your memory because I did
Speaker 1: have a weird upbringing. But I there's a way that
Speaker 1: I could like harness all of those details. I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess you probably this was like an exercise in
Speaker 1: in memory, like bringing back memories I had. Thankfully I
Speaker 1: had people I could call because you you do start
Speaker 1: to go, did I make that up? Like you know again,
Speaker 1: look I'm not writing about like Abraham Lincoln, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So like I'm sure it's also filtered
Speaker 1: through my point of view or filter from when you
Speaker 1: were a little kid of like what you've heard, what
Speaker 1: people tell you. So so sometimes it's like like the
Speaker 1: family lore or like you know, and you start to
Speaker 1: but many times I kept like did this happen? So
Speaker 1: I would call, you know, like the sex ed chapter,
Speaker 1: I called my friend and I'm like, were we taught
Speaker 1: like about like Cleveland Steamers and like Golden Showers in
Speaker 1: sex ed class in seventh grade when I never hold
Speaker 1: health hands with anybody, and my friend was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, things like that or even the crow. I
Speaker 1: had to go on Facebook page in my town and
Speaker 1: be like, was there a crow? It stole the mail
Speaker 1: and got put under like because it's a federal crime,
Speaker 1: got put under house arrest in our time, you know,
Speaker 1: so look it's yeah, yeah, sorry. I mean I was
Speaker 1: really like how to keep asking because you don't know
Speaker 1: what you're brain like, you start pulling things in the
Speaker 1: deep because sometimes I feel like I don't remember anything.
Speaker 1: And I kept having to like call my brother or
Speaker 1: call people like did this happen? Like this? Reading it,
Speaker 1: when you read it, you're like, holy sh it, this
Speaker 1: is crazy. What card struck? What struck you as crazy? Um? Uh, well,
Speaker 1: my family, the family stuff. Can I read a quote? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can read anything. Okay, this is from your book. Um,
Speaker 1: you're describing Little Compton. Little Little Compton established two, used
Speaker 1: to have three restaurants, but two of them burned to
Speaker 1: the ground. Currently it has zero stoplights, zero high schools,
Speaker 1: one local doctor who took a ship in the third
Speaker 1: hole at the local golf course, one train car that
Speaker 1: has parked in a field and is inhabited by two
Speaker 1: hundred chickens. One cell phone provider. We just got our
Speaker 1: first cell tower at the town dump and one and
Speaker 1: one toothless elderly lady who smokes a corn top pipe
Speaker 1: and hangs out at the cash register of the general
Speaker 1: store and at home answers the door nude for the
Speaker 1: local delivery boys. So we are no po dunc town. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a little that's all accurate. The woman who is
Speaker 1: nude has passed away. She's has passed away. So if
Speaker 1: you wanted to meet her, if you wanted to do
Speaker 1: a delivery, you're gonna be disappointed. There was this woman
Speaker 1: that would hang out at Wilbur's or general store, and
Speaker 1: she and she didn't have a license, and there's no
Speaker 1: grocery stores and there's one store, Wilbur's. It's a general store.
Speaker 1: That's it like an old school established like in the
Speaker 1: seventeen hundreds general store. And so she would have the
Speaker 1: high school students drive groceries to her, and allegedly she
Speaker 1: would answer the door buck naked and she smoked a
Speaker 1: corn cub pipe. Yeah, I mean po crow is like
Speaker 1: what that is that real? And the and the and
Speaker 1: the whole thing about the department store. Boat. So there
Speaker 1: was a boat. So my town has no stores. Um,
Speaker 1: there's there's store right, one general store. There's no clothing stores,
Speaker 1: there's no It sort of looks like an island, it
Speaker 1: kind of. I think it's like similar in land to Nantucket.
Speaker 1: But it doesn't have restaurants or stores, or movie or
Speaker 1: grocery stores or even a gas station anymore. Has like us.
Speaker 1: Maybe I think there was a gas station, but I
Speaker 1: think the gas station got shut down and you have
Speaker 1: to drive to Massachusetts to get your guests. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: is it still like that? Yeah? Yeah, So that's what's
Speaker 1: so great about it. There's one coffee shop that's in
Speaker 1: an apple orchard, a little barn, and that's up in
Speaker 1: the town. Comments. Um. But so there was one day
Speaker 1: I was in will Verse because that's where you go
Speaker 1: and the general store, and one of the fishermen ran
Speaker 1: in and said, there's bears on the beach. There's bears
Speaker 1: on Briggs Beach, And I you know, and you're like, what,
Speaker 1: like and we have like eight beaches because it's a peninsula.
Speaker 1: I was like, what do you mean there's bears on
Speaker 1: the beach. So we raced my friend Robin. She was
Speaker 1: a little older than me. I think I was fourteen sixteen.
Speaker 1: She had a little yellow folks Bagon rabbit. We raced
Speaker 1: out of the beach. Can I wait, Can I interrupt you?
Speaker 1: You said, And this made me. This is one of
Speaker 1: my l o ls is. You're like where he got
Speaker 1: into her Volkswine rabbit that had three three hundred had
Speaker 1: three hundred thousand miles. Yeah, I remember she got it.
Speaker 1: She was like she got it, was like it was
Speaker 1: like five hundred dollars. She saved up her her babysitting money.
Speaker 1: She would they would pile like five hundred younger kids
Speaker 1: in there, no seat belts. We drive to Massachusetts, go
Speaker 1: to the movies like three hundred thousand mile rabbit. So
Speaker 1: we go down to her to the Bigs Beach And
Speaker 1: what was there, Lisa? What was at Briggs Beach? There
Speaker 1: were just teddy bears everywhere. Everywhere the beach was covered
Speaker 1: and teddy bears and all of the townsfolk were just
Speaker 1: going bananas, grabbing teddy bears. And then and then you
Speaker 1: go on to say that the whole there were I
Speaker 1: guess there was a cargo ship and there were like
Speaker 1: every department from the department store Bradley's Bradley's, which is
Speaker 1: like a discount department store, so it's like not fancy,
Speaker 1: it's like it's like there were shoes. I love the
Speaker 1: part about there were white tennis shoes and like navy
Speaker 1: blue pumps with like with missing their mate. It was
Speaker 1: like different, Like there was a women's left shoes around
Speaker 1: one beach and then right shoes or another, and there
Speaker 1: would be swap meets up at the school to get
Speaker 1: like a full evening pair of shoes. Heel, a magenta
Speaker 1: sweatshirts that all the my dad kept wearing. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: the sweatshirts. Wait, so what did the sweatshirts say? They
Speaker 1: were just teal and the enta. And then there was
Speaker 1: like there was like um snow flake turtle, and like
Speaker 1: there was like and they were clearly they were It
Speaker 1: was like Christmas. I mean, people couldn't so in each
Speaker 1: beach had like a different department, so you'd run down
Speaker 1: to a different beach and then people would be like,
Speaker 1: you gotta go head over the surfer's beach because the
Speaker 1: Surfer's beach they you know. And then some of the
Speaker 1: some of the lobster men would take their boats out.
Speaker 1: It was like these there was the actual shipping container
Speaker 1: was stuck on a rock out in the river. So
Speaker 1: so that so not everything like not ever there was
Speaker 1: some stuff that hadn't washed ashore, and they went out
Speaker 1: and they climbed in the container and there was all
Speaker 1: these like TVs. It was like the Electronic Department. It
Speaker 1: was truly like the gods had given Little Compton a
Speaker 1: mall for the day and it was free, and like
Speaker 1: everybody was site. And there's still if you go rent
Speaker 1: house for the summer, some of the house and you
Speaker 1: can still do that from JJ's old Little Compton real
Speaker 1: Estate for all your summer rental needs. Ask for aid
Speaker 1: Off um after off. But you have a funny you
Speaker 1: have a you have a great line about aid Off
Speaker 1: in there. I said, well, he might be NEI there
Speaker 1: might be some historical bad aidolps. This Aidolf is like
Speaker 1: the nicest guy in the world and I've even seen
Speaker 1: him cry at a funeral. This is the best aid Off.
Speaker 1: He's a great stuff like that is like there's like
Speaker 1: twenty of those funny like weird things per page. It's
Speaker 1: so funny because I mean, I'm sure if you did
Speaker 1: your because you have an unusual upbringing, but like I didn't.
Speaker 1: I'm sure anybody if you bought details, this was what did.
Speaker 1: I have a very specific, small town specific. And then
Speaker 1: I had a specific because my parents weren't They never dated,
Speaker 1: so they got married on a dare to get vacation time.
Speaker 1: They were co workers trying to get the maximum vacation time.
Speaker 1: You've got two extra weeks if you want on a honeymoon.
Speaker 1: So there was like, so I had the quirkiness of
Speaker 1: two people who had entered into life on a dare
Speaker 1: and then moved from Manhattan to this tiny town. And
Speaker 1: then it's the quirkiness of the town, which again I know,
Speaker 1: this is just how I grew up. But then like
Speaker 1: when you get out in the world, you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I have an unusual point of view. Yes, how it
Speaker 1: all happened. I mean, you've been talking about your dad.
Speaker 1: I mean I've heard stories about your father Willie for
Speaker 1: you know, as long as I've known you. And yes,
Speaker 1: I've heard of the cookie hammer. Yeah, I think I've
Speaker 1: always told you you've got to talk about your dad
Speaker 1: on stage, more like you've got to do him talk
Speaker 1: about it. It's it's he's Yeah, it's just so hard
Speaker 1: to believe how strange your dad he was, truly. I mean,
Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes I'll tell you what, sometimes I
Speaker 1: feel like I don't know. I have tried over the
Speaker 1: years to talk about him on stage. I think it's
Speaker 1: almost more fun on the page, and maybe it would
Speaker 1: be fun and it's ripped it show as like seeing
Speaker 1: an actor do it. I think that I think people
Speaker 1: almost black out because it almost feels so weird that
Speaker 1: they're like that. They're like, I think then they also
Speaker 1: feel sorry for me and they think they get protective
Speaker 1: of me and they're like, wait, that's your dad. Like
Speaker 1: so that, I think on the page, it's a very
Speaker 1: fun literary character, and I think on a TV show
Speaker 1: he would be a great character. But in stand up
Speaker 1: people are like blackout, like I don't get it, this
Speaker 1: is weird. Well that that's a good point. And he
Speaker 1: your descriptions of him fit in so perfectly in this book.
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, he's just bizarre character in this bizarre setting. Yea.
Speaker 1: And yeah, and then your mom is like this shining
Speaker 1: light of stability and yeah, I mean she also had
Speaker 1: her quirkies. Yeah, It's interesting. I got, like the word
Speaker 1: an interesting combo, like a poo poo platter of like
Speaker 1: of like this salty odd dude coupled with this incredibly upbeat, organized,
Speaker 1: supportive but like to the point where she just wanted
Speaker 1: to be a mom, which I think is very unusual,
Speaker 1: Like I see how lucky. I don't think I I again,
Speaker 1: I took that he could not have been less interested
Speaker 1: in being a dad as people. So it was like
Speaker 1: I had both ends of the spectrum of like she
Speaker 1: wanted four kids, he wanted zero. They had to and
Speaker 1: they were both open about that, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So we were like her kids and he was and
Speaker 1: it was an interesting combo of like the most dismissive
Speaker 1: salty dude and then like if you're night owl the
Speaker 1: kids you can stay up just you know, making your magic.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna, like, like school starts too early from
Speaker 1: my vampire it, I'm gonna bring him to school at ten,
Speaker 1: you know, just and like she just would bring us
Speaker 1: to school late like stuff like that, where yeah, I
Speaker 1: love that, I love that. I don't know about you,
Speaker 1: but things are getting so hot in here. I think
Speaker 1: I gotta take pity your break, there's a there's a
Speaker 1: something you say in here about your mom and how
Speaker 1: she just something about too messy night owls, you know,
Speaker 1: like she doesn't. She just kind of like accepted it.
Speaker 1: She didn't try to change you guys. And that's whole
Speaker 1: the whole thing about you guys being up all night
Speaker 1: was so funny, dude, we were so my brother. My
Speaker 1: mom was such a virgo organized list maker, like the
Speaker 1: most normal lady. And I think you add, like a
Speaker 1: normal glass of milk, my mom was like a whole
Speaker 1: glass of whole milk, a sixteen ounce glass of whole milk,
Speaker 1: and then you take the jean pool of my dad
Speaker 1: and you just, even like if he wasn't actually parenting,
Speaker 1: you squirt in a little bit of that extra special
Speaker 1: sposhy sauce. I feel like the dad sawce, the genetic
Speaker 1: sauce squirted into the whole milk is what created my
Speaker 1: brother and I because my dad, of course was up
Speaker 1: all night, and so from the time we were infants,
Speaker 1: she was trying to be a good lady and put
Speaker 1: her babies to bed, and my brother Aleric and I
Speaker 1: would just we would literally look drugged out of her
Speaker 1: mind all day and we just like past out all
Speaker 1: day and it still happens. I mean, it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: how tired I am. Once the moon starts coming out.
Speaker 1: She said that, like we would just like spring to
Speaker 1: life and like coup and be like so happy in
Speaker 1: our cribs, like two little raccoons, just so like playful
Speaker 1: and delighted. The later at midnight one like just wide
Speaker 1: awake and perky and wanting to play. And then eventually
Speaker 1: she just give up and was like go to bed,
Speaker 1: like it's the only time of day her kids were alert,
Speaker 1: and uh, and that's it would started day one for
Speaker 1: both of us. I mean, we've just always been wired
Speaker 1: with a reverse cycle. It sucks. That's so. I'm hard.
Speaker 1: That's hard. Can I read this part about you read anything?
Speaker 1: You can read anything. Okay, this is about j J. Calm, unflappable,
Speaker 1: pragmatic and funny mama bear. Janet Marine was a role
Speaker 1: with the punches kind of goal. She was an early bird,
Speaker 1: organized list making virgo who nevertheless embraced and accepted the
Speaker 1: fact that she had given birth to too messy late
Speaker 1: night odd balls. I love that, I know. I mean
Speaker 1: that's what I wanted it to feel. I wanted it
Speaker 1: to feel, you know, like for anybody out there who
Speaker 1: everybody's dealt a certain hand in life, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. And I feel like most people, most people
Speaker 1: aren't dealt of perfect hand. They just aren't. I it's
Speaker 1: very few people I know are delta prefet tan. I
Speaker 1: don't think I know anyone. I don't trust them, I'm
Speaker 1: not else with them and that and that I don't
Speaker 1: get it. I'm like, wait, you're you don't have like
Speaker 1: voices in your head all like, and I will say
Speaker 1: that like I wanted it to feel hope. And by
Speaker 1: the way, a lot of people don't have somebody like
Speaker 1: my mom like, but that it literally could be anybody.
Speaker 1: It could be that you can overcome because my dad
Speaker 1: was nasty, like he just he just never liked me.
Speaker 1: And that you know, you can even be your own
Speaker 1: person that's accepting of you. It's like like that, you know.
Speaker 1: I used to feel like I say this at the end,
Speaker 1: but I used to feel like a four legged chair
Speaker 1: where one of the legs was broken. And then I realized,
Speaker 1: like there's nothing wrong with being like a three legged stool,
Speaker 1: like and that look, even if it's just yourself, you
Speaker 1: can learn how to like balance on a pogo stick
Speaker 1: like that. It's it's not that it's okay, but that
Speaker 1: like sometimes people just can't do it. And like I
Speaker 1: spent so long trying to chase and like make it okay,
Speaker 1: and it wasn't until I sort of freed myself of like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is never gonna happen, and it never did, like
Speaker 1: I but I sort of freed him. Like you know,
Speaker 1: his mom was tough, and yeah, you know, it wasn't
Speaker 1: like it wasn't an easy ride for him either, But
Speaker 1: I mean I certainly wouldn't wish him on anyone. But like,
Speaker 1: like I was driving myself great at a certain point
Speaker 1: when you're an adult, it's like I have no control
Speaker 1: over what happened to him younger, but like this is
Speaker 1: still affecting me now, and I gotta, I gotta. I
Speaker 1: can't keep chasing this person. That's never It's like Lucy
Speaker 1: and Charlie Brown in the football It's never gonna happen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And you say, like he some people just don't have
Speaker 1: the ability to love. Yeah, I think he didn't for
Speaker 1: whatever reason. Yeah yeah, yeah, And in a way it's
Speaker 1: like you you're you're having compassion for him. And you know,
Speaker 1: I was asked by a rop quarter who was kind
Speaker 1: of a dick if I'm being very honest, but like
Speaker 1: that's by reporter, of course, it was whatever I was
Speaker 1: asked by reporters, like why don't you write your dad?
Speaker 1: Was like, like this is my story? You know what
Speaker 1: I mean, It's like I'm not here, Like, look, it
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that I wasn't affected by the guy. And
Speaker 1: it certainly didn't like it wasn't painful, and there's not
Speaker 1: still you know, there's still marks from like in my
Speaker 1: heart here like there's still but the reality is, what
Speaker 1: good is it gonna? Like you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to go on a road trip with
Speaker 1: my dad right now, like but like but like he
Speaker 1: just couldn't do it. He couldn't do it. And then look,
Speaker 1: let me also just say, between all of this happening
Speaker 1: and me chatting with you now, there's been a lot
Speaker 1: of like therapy, introspection, group things you don't know, Like
Speaker 1: it's certainly not like the Pollyanna like, there's certainly been
Speaker 1: a lot of feelings around it. It's it's because it
Speaker 1: was driving me crazy trying to get it I didn't
Speaker 1: do it for him. I did it for me because
Speaker 1: I was He wasn't thinking about out it. I was
Speaker 1: the one that was the lunatic trying to like get
Speaker 1: this connection or whatever. So it was I did it
Speaker 1: selfishly because I I was I was like, I can't
Speaker 1: do this anymore. Yeah, And it's interesting. I'm always fascinated
Speaker 1: in in that j J. I mean her sort of
Speaker 1: you know, keep chugging along, uh you know, And is
Speaker 1: that how she managed to just sort of put her
Speaker 1: did she kind of put blinders on to to deal
Speaker 1: with hit him and how he was you know, I've
Speaker 1: thought about that a lot, and I think, you know, well,
Speaker 1: first of all, like love is such a mystery, Like
Speaker 1: I really felt like who knows, Like I really I
Speaker 1: do believe she just like for whatever reason, she loved
Speaker 1: like he treated her differently. They had a different dynamic,
Speaker 1: you know. Um. But I think she also grew up
Speaker 1: in a generation where no and and her family ever
Speaker 1: got divorced and um, and I think it was very
Speaker 1: much like part of the dare. I always wondered, like
Speaker 1: I didn't know that they got married on a dare
Speaker 1: until I was like fifteen, and actually was like oh,
Speaker 1: like it was. It was illuminating, like okay, I get
Speaker 1: it now, Like okay that I get, I get. I
Speaker 1: couldn't add up why they were together. And I think
Speaker 1: that she, you know, she so she'd been dumped by
Speaker 1: her college boyfriend the year before, who she loved and
Speaker 1: I and she thought she was an old maid at
Speaker 1: twenty three. And I think it was very much your
Speaker 1: value at that time, Like she literally wore white gloves
Speaker 1: to work like a madman. It got chased around the
Speaker 1: desk by her. So it was a different era. And
Speaker 1: I think, you know, maybe like her, I think her
Speaker 1: heart was fully open with her last boyfriend, who she
Speaker 1: I think she thought was she was going to marry
Speaker 1: and then she got dumped. So again, we've all I've been.
Speaker 1: I know when I've had my heart broken or had
Speaker 1: my ego and had my ego bruised. I think my
Speaker 1: dad was fun. I think she never met anybody like him.
Speaker 1: He was kind of an adventure. The other guy was
Speaker 1: like a safe, nice guy, like he was a little wild.
Speaker 1: He took her down to South America for a month,
Speaker 1: Like it was like, oh yeah, that was like if
Speaker 1: we get married. Like so they went to South America.
Speaker 1: I think he swept her all. I think it was
Speaker 1: like this adventure, that this very good, leave it to
Speaker 1: be for a lady, which it just the dare went
Speaker 1: on too long. But if it hadn't, I wouldn't be here.
Speaker 1: But I do think that I think her blind spot
Speaker 1: was him. I think, you know, and it was sort
Speaker 1: of that what's sort of great about her, which I respect,
Speaker 1: is her sort of you just you know, you just
Speaker 1: she wasn't the most introspective girl. So it was like
Speaker 1: we're gonna go to t J Max and get some
Speaker 1: throw pillows and like, which I respect her sort of
Speaker 1: like on with it, roll up your sleeves, keep going.
Speaker 1: But I think, you know, it was We're definitely a
Speaker 1: generation that talks about our feelings more, I think in
Speaker 1: general in this nation. And I think she just wanted everything.
Speaker 1: It's like it's everything has to sort of look fine
Speaker 1: because that's how she was brought up. I mean, was
Speaker 1: it I know your perild? Are you when your parents
Speaker 1: got divorced? Actually I was in my early twenties. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so they kind of they kind of held that held
Speaker 1: it up, held on for a while. Yeah, and they
Speaker 1: weren't a good match. No, neither of mine really, but
Speaker 1: they had something they I think they did, and Janet
Speaker 1: had something. I agree with you, and I actually feel
Speaker 1: like I actually feel like she missed him, Like I
Speaker 1: actually feel like that's part. I feel like I agree
Speaker 1: with you, and he did treat her, you know what
Speaker 1: I wished for more for her, Yeah, you know, but
Speaker 1: like again, I think as an adult, I spent so
Speaker 1: many years going why it was like, it's kind of
Speaker 1: none of my business. Like at a certain point, love
Speaker 1: is a miss street. It's like who I certainly have
Speaker 1: had a soft spot for somebody that perhaps my friends
Speaker 1: were like wait what oh heck, yeah, same everybody has.
Speaker 1: And I think in like your your mom, Like she
Speaker 1: was happy, you know, she was happy, positive energy, and
Speaker 1: that is such a good That's what we wanted a mother,
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, I feel for that. Yeah, and the
Speaker 1: fact that she didn't let oh, Willie's you know, you know,
Speaker 1: emotional absence get her down or whatever, just his lack
Speaker 1: of interest in fathering. And I think she was happy
Speaker 1: to have my brother and I to herself. I mean,
Speaker 1: like we had the best time. I mean truly, we
Speaker 1: were the three Musketeers. We like when it was just
Speaker 1: like we laughed. We it was like it was we
Speaker 1: just laughed and laughed. My brother is amazing, he's and
Speaker 1: he is going to be at the show. He's completely
Speaker 1: I mean you've met my brother. It's like on the
Speaker 1: outside we seem like polar opposite and yet we are
Speaker 1: like Yin and yang. We're completely created by the same
Speaker 1: like the same maker created both of us were fully J. J.
Speaker 1: Marines creations. Because she really fanned into us. Not in
Speaker 1: a way that was like all my kids deserved trophies,
Speaker 1: but it was like, what makes your tail wag? What's
Speaker 1: your special gift protected? You don't need to go to
Speaker 1: fancy college. You don't, It doesn't it's not about the
Speaker 1: fancy stuff. What's your special gift to give to the world.
Speaker 1: And and my brother, he has a different path, but
Speaker 1: he's completely created by the same person. Yeah, thank god.
Speaker 1: She really she balanced it out, like she tipped the
Speaker 1: scale you know, to loving, nurturing, supportive, and and then
Speaker 1: she butter. But she was hard, I mean, like her
Speaker 1: her number one rule in life was don't be a drip.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, no, I could see that being hard too
Speaker 1: as a kid, Like we can't sit around and feel
Speaker 1: sorry for ourselves because sometimes you just need to sit
Speaker 1: around and feel sorry for yourself. Oh no, trust in that,
Speaker 1: like no, yeah, there's no. It's like you gotta get on,
Speaker 1: get over it and get on with it. It's a
Speaker 1: very new England side. Yeah. Yeah. Can we talk about
Speaker 1: Alaric's head? Yes, so we can take what sheeaty head? God,
Speaker 1: that cracks me out. You want to describe for our
Speaker 1: listeners what cheaty head is? Well? When Aleric, Well, first
Speaker 1: of all, you describe Aleric. He's wearing when he's like
Speaker 1: how old he's wearing like giant businessman glasses. So he
Speaker 1: was born blind in one eye. So even he's one
Speaker 1: of those babies like which I love a baby and
Speaker 1: a pair of glasses. And his eye was like literally
Speaker 1: like when I was looking at you, and the other
Speaker 1: eye was looking at like to like you know, and
Speaker 1: so they it wasn't until it was like two that
Speaker 1: they had surgically corrected that they both would look at you.
Speaker 1: But at back in the day, they didn't they didn't
Speaker 1: know how to like because his eyesight was so bad,
Speaker 1: they didn't know how to like thin out the lenses.
Speaker 1: So it's the largest businessman like a toddler and full
Speaker 1: like thick businessman coke blah blah glasses, Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: The cutest thing, huge head, and he had a melon head.
Speaker 1: He had a giant knock. He has a huge head.
Speaker 1: The best part was my mom. He also was born
Speaker 1: bald on top with like with like long monk hair,
Speaker 1: and my mom, my mom later on confess she was
Speaker 1: like that, you're I mean, I don't have kids. But
Speaker 1: she's like, she's like, your chemicals are so bad. Ship
Speaker 1: when you give it, she goes, I couldn't believe I
Speaker 1: had given birth to the most beautiful baby, everything given.
Speaker 1: She was like, I really didn't realize that one I
Speaker 1: was looking the wrong way. And he had like a
Speaker 1: full head of like monk hair. But like so his
Speaker 1: head was so large that she would catch him just leaning.
Speaker 1: And she also didn't know he was anemic, so she
Speaker 1: just thought he was really mellow as a baby. Like
Speaker 1: she didn't know it was complete iron deficiency, that he
Speaker 1: just sat still all because he had no iron and
Speaker 1: him and they didn't know that. So he so but
Speaker 1: she saw him was like a toddler, even as she
Speaker 1: would find him and hit him, resting his gigantic head
Speaker 1: on a table and she'd be like, Aleric, are you okay,
Speaker 1: And she's like, He's like, it's just so heavy, it's
Speaker 1: so big, you don't know how hard it just to
Speaker 1: hold it up. So, by the way, yeah, cutest fucking
Speaker 1: kid you've ever seen, like just adorable, huge head, giant glasses, genius.
Speaker 1: So yes, So he had glasses, businessman glasses. He's about
Speaker 1: probably at this point with sheet he had, he was
Speaker 1: probably like four. Oh. So he's just a cute little
Speaker 1: four year old with a giant head and glasses. And
Speaker 1: he created a sort of invisible friend or no, I
Speaker 1: guess it was like he basically had a crib sheet
Speaker 1: white a white crib sheet, a fitted crib sheet, crib
Speaker 1: sheet that he would put over his head and with
Speaker 1: the elastic part on his forehead and there's a photo
Speaker 1: in the book and he would on and he could
Speaker 1: use it like a cape or a cloak, or if
Speaker 1: he got scared, he could roll up into it like
Speaker 1: a ball and nobody could see him. He could be
Speaker 1: a ghost. And it was like his it's equivalent of
Speaker 1: like his blankie or his banky, but it was called
Speaker 1: sheety head and it was very versatile and he would
Speaker 1: run with it like a cape. And then there's this
Speaker 1: story in the book of how the day Sheety had,
Speaker 1: my mom had had enough of Sheety had, and it
Speaker 1: was tough for Sheet. He had to go missing when
Speaker 1: they took the ferry to go see my grandparents. If
Speaker 1: it's time for sheet, he had to go buy she
Speaker 1: because she'd had enough of her she. Like that's the
Speaker 1: thing about j J. I feel like parents today are
Speaker 1: just so accepting of their kids. She's like, I don't
Speaker 1: want no weird o kid running around, no Sheety Like
Speaker 1: it was just like so eighties good ome with it,
Speaker 1: Like that's a little weird for me. Don't be a drip. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're taking that freaking Sheety head off your head. Like
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I'm not on my watch. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, you know there's it's like that's why there's
Speaker 1: like an age where you know, you kind of gotta
Speaker 1: stop breastfeeding at a certain age, like you gotta you
Speaker 1: gotta gotta throw sheet he had away at some point.
Speaker 1: Can we discuss my favorite story about you and breastfeeding?
Speaker 1: Can we discuss a friend of yours who was breastfeeding
Speaker 1: there like adult child on New Year's Eve and you like,
Speaker 1: hooked up with somebody. It was like New Year's Day.
Speaker 1: Oh it was. It was New Year's Day. We were
Speaker 1: sitting at we were sitting at an outdoor cafe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he said he wanted to, you know, breastfeed. He said,
Speaker 1: it's like in a complete sentence. Yeah, he requested it.
Speaker 1: And she was like, you know, she's trying to wean
Speaker 1: him off. And she was like, well, if you're gonna
Speaker 1: do it, you have to, you know, go under the
Speaker 1: blanket because people will think it's inappropriate. Basically five or
Speaker 1: six at this point, he's like five. I think he
Speaker 1: was like maybe four and a half or something. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: but he was talking. Yeah, I mean he's he's a dog.
Speaker 1: I love this child, and I love I love his parents. Um,
Speaker 1: but I was we were I was telling them about
Speaker 1: these two guys that I had been dating. Um, and
Speaker 1: I was describing one and then she my friend, you know,
Speaker 1: we aren't you talking about sleeping with one of them?
Speaker 1: I think you were talking about sleeping with one of them, Like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I think you know, I was. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was talking to my adult friends without Yeah, some you
Speaker 1: know dating story, like I had hooked up with somebody
Speaker 1: and not even dating. Yeah, it was anyway. So then
Speaker 1: she told him he needs to take a nap, and
Speaker 1: he was like, but I want to hear about the
Speaker 1: other guy. Yes, that to me, And I was like,
Speaker 1: did he just wait? Is he he was listening? He
Speaker 1: was listening. He wanted to know about He wanted don't
Speaker 1: know about bachelor number two behind the second door. The
Speaker 1: first one had taken you home, but what he wanted
Speaker 1: to know about bachelor number two. He didn't listen to
Speaker 1: the whole thing. And he is one of those kids
Speaker 1: that loves talking to grown ups, which is so cute.
Speaker 1: So yeah, there's a there is a story for your book.
Speaker 1: You that is a great and your dad, your dad
Speaker 1: is um a different kind of quirky dead but I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say equally as quirky. Gary Lise has been to
Speaker 1: Burning Man with her dad. Her dad has built this
Speaker 1: loft of this is the coolest thing out of like
Speaker 1: a warehouse. Or he's like, will did this stage and
Speaker 1: hosted raves and Gary's Gary and Willie are like equally
Speaker 1: quirky on different journeys. It would be so priceless if
Speaker 1: those two men could have been in the same room
Speaker 1: they would have loved each other. I think, oh my god,
Speaker 1: are you By the way, if you weren't Willie's kid,
Speaker 1: everybody loved Willie. It was this hard. You just don't
Speaker 1: want to be a kid. That was. Yeah that you
Speaker 1: talked about that in the book to oh the work
Speaker 1: ethics thing. Uh, you know your mom had this great
Speaker 1: work ethic and she became a real estate agent. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but your dad basically like once you guys knew us
Speaker 1: a little Compton was just like retired, you know, at
Speaker 1: like thirty, at like thirty, did your mom supporting he?
Speaker 1: I was Again, you're like it was at New England
Speaker 1: house without a lot of information, so you're like sort
Speaker 1: of a little kid piecing it together. I get the feeling.
Speaker 1: You know, they bought their house for not a ton
Speaker 1: of money, you know it was and so he had
Speaker 1: enough of a little hit, a little bit of money
Speaker 1: that would cover enough to cover himself. So so j J,
Speaker 1: so j J went to work and would she liked
Speaker 1: because she liked working. She was a working gal and
Speaker 1: she got her because there's not that many business choices
Speaker 1: in Little Compton. You're like a cop or a lobster men,
Speaker 1: or you work at the gas station or you're a plumber.
Speaker 1: So she sold houses, which was which is great, and
Speaker 1: he but she would pay. She paid for Alaric and
Speaker 1: I and herself. And then your dad decided at one
Speaker 1: point in sixties to go back to work just during
Speaker 1: tax season because he was a c p A. He
Speaker 1: was a c p A. He went back to work
Speaker 1: three months a year at he was at an all
Speaker 1: ladies accounting firm. And it was the most fascinating thing
Speaker 1: because what was his persona at work, Lisa. He was
Speaker 1: like this teddy bear who like you know, he talked
Speaker 1: to the you know, gave the girls dating advice, and
Speaker 1: he brought them brought them baby shower gifts and like
Speaker 1: they love He was like a sweetheart. They loved him
Speaker 1: so bizarre, so bizarre quit Honestly, That's why I really believe,
Speaker 1: And in the book I've got like a few little
Speaker 1: tips in there. I really believe work is good for
Speaker 1: the soul. I really believe, even like a a B
Speaker 1: job or I don't believe there's a B job. I
Speaker 1: think it's all one that like it's good to go
Speaker 1: connect with people. It makes you feel good about yourself,
Speaker 1: and that particularly if you're you know, in the creative
Speaker 1: his arts, and like, you know, when we started in
Speaker 1: New York and everybody had day jobs and you know
Speaker 1: everybody and so um, I wasn't. It wasn't until I
Speaker 1: moved out here that I was like, where does it?
Speaker 1: What does everybody? How do people pay their bills? And
Speaker 1: so but that, but that if you have at least
Speaker 1: if you know that you can pay next month's rent,
Speaker 1: so that when you go on on audition or you're
Speaker 1: touring as a musician, or if you have a painting
Speaker 1: you want to soul, whatever your deal is, that you're
Speaker 1: not demanding that you need to book that job. You're
Speaker 1: not demanding so much of your art that like it
Speaker 1: adds that frenzy into it that if you know your
Speaker 1: bills are covered, it it's like, all there's no shame
Speaker 1: in that game to me, And I think I got
Speaker 1: that from my mom totally. And I always felt that way,
Speaker 1: like I never wanted to to depend solely on my
Speaker 1: art for my income because it just put too much
Speaker 1: pressure on it, and then it made it not fun.
Speaker 1: Then it was super stressful and desperate in a way,
Speaker 1: you know too, and then you get isolated when you're
Speaker 1: not out working and like and I also think as
Speaker 1: a creative person. Look, I didn't want to go do
Speaker 1: stand up and a dog casino, but then you get
Speaker 1: the funny story of doing stand up and it done.
Speaker 1: Like I feel like no matter what you're what your
Speaker 1: medium is, all of your interactions. You know, if you're
Speaker 1: working at a mailbox place, you got the crazy customer. Like,
Speaker 1: anything you're doing I think keeps you engaged enough that
Speaker 1: you it can be creative fuel for whatever you're working on. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: and I will say about your book, you know, not
Speaker 1: only is it like fun and entertaining and hilarious and
Speaker 1: heart in heartfelt there I love that the there's like
Speaker 1: nuggets of wisdom peppered throughout. And You've I've always you know,
Speaker 1: you've given I. I still think about your nuggets of
Speaker 1: wisdom that you like, Uh, you told me what you
Speaker 1: know because you know I've had some bad luck with dating.
Speaker 1: What is the other guy? Like? Like, yeah, I've had
Speaker 1: a bad picker. Oh until very recently have I started
Speaker 1: actually refining my picker. It's hard to refine the picture.
Speaker 1: It's hard. It's hard. One of the things I remember
Speaker 1: you telling me that I've always actually stuck to is
Speaker 1: I think you said like in the first three months maybe,
Speaker 1: or don't talk about your family stuff and don't don't
Speaker 1: talk about x X I I I get and I
Speaker 1: feel like one of the things I wanted to write
Speaker 1: in the book in a fun way, but because I
Speaker 1: I grew up with this odd road map and there
Speaker 1: was so much great stuff, I got a real belief
Speaker 1: in going for it and creative stuff. But like as
Speaker 1: far as like personal life, my parents married on a dare,
Speaker 1: my roadmap was nuts, Like I didn't know how to
Speaker 1: set boundaries with friends or with guys, Like there were
Speaker 1: certain parts of adulthood I didn't know how to do.
Speaker 1: And I feel like i've actually really it's been like
Speaker 1: a student of like a happy life and really really
Speaker 1: worked out because I again growing up in this tiny
Speaker 1: town with the general like I really had to learn
Speaker 1: almost like a cult member coming out into society, like
Speaker 1: how do I do this? And so there's a lot
Speaker 1: of stuff in the book take it, take what you
Speaker 1: likely with the rest, but that um, yeah. So one
Speaker 1: of the things was I think because I did grow
Speaker 1: up with sort of a tough dad, I felt like, secretly,
Speaker 1: you know what I believed I had a lot of shame.
Speaker 1: I felt like a lot. I believed a lot of
Speaker 1: what he told me about myself. And so I was
Speaker 1: afraid that if you met me at a part and
Speaker 1: I seem fun and sparkly, but if you got to
Speaker 1: know me, there was like some darkness. I was worried
Speaker 1: that I'd scare people off. And and so I would
Speaker 1: almost like trauma bond. So it's like I always just
Speaker 1: wanted to tell people right away or tell people like
Speaker 1: and I almost use it as like this connection or
Speaker 1: have somebody screwed me over my bed or whatever, And
Speaker 1: like I learned, like why then you just keep perpetuating
Speaker 1: the same thing over and over. You're mostly just interacting
Speaker 1: with yourself, you know. So so it's like why I
Speaker 1: give this person in front of you the dignity of
Speaker 1: their own experience, that it's not every person you've ever dated,
Speaker 1: it's not every person. They're not out to get you,
Speaker 1: like why I have a blank slate and like and
Speaker 1: I and at first I did not know what to
Speaker 1: talk about. So I would have to go see I
Speaker 1: would go see like documentaries, and then I would go
Speaker 1: to like museum exhibits, and I would just find like
Speaker 1: literally what do you talk about if you're not trauma bonding?
Speaker 1: So it was like it was retraining my brain. I
Speaker 1: didn't know how to do it, but just to see
Speaker 1: if you like each other, like not everybody used to
Speaker 1: know all your secrets right away, Like and it's not
Speaker 1: all about the negative everybody that's ever screwed you over.
Speaker 1: It's so glass half empty, you're almost just setting it
Speaker 1: up to happen again, you know. So true, and I
Speaker 1: think it's just so common, it's hard. When we were
Speaker 1: watching The Bachelor, we commented on that like all the girls,
Speaker 1: the first thing out of their mouth is, oh, I
Speaker 1: was abused and the terrible thing, and they couldn't wait
Speaker 1: to tell the guy. Well, and I'm sure the producers
Speaker 1: are like, that's your hook, you know, And I was
Speaker 1: like okay, like uh yeah, it's an interest, you know.
Speaker 1: It's And again I think part of going back to
Speaker 1: that rude reporter, it's like I can't help what was
Speaker 1: said to me. That's not about me, Like the core
Speaker 1: of who I am isn't everything bad that's ever happened
Speaker 1: to me. Like it's a much more positive experience than that,
Speaker 1: Like I that's that's not my problem, Like it definitely
Speaker 1: affected me, and I got like it hurt, but like
Speaker 1: that's about the person that's doing that's not me. So
Speaker 1: why would I spend my whole book doing that? What
Speaker 1: did the reporters say? Yeah, I think he wanted me
Speaker 1: to like be harder on my dad. And I just said, like,
Speaker 1: you know, I just had to figure out what book
Speaker 1: am I writing. This isn't Angela's ashes. I give enough
Speaker 1: to know, Like I give enough to know, like this
Speaker 1: is not the Father of the Year, but like that's
Speaker 1: that's not that's not this is a hopeful book. This
Speaker 1: is a positive book. And like I don't need to
Speaker 1: I am not the some of my war stories and
Speaker 1: nor are you. Everybody's had stuff happen, and like if
Speaker 1: all you do is amplify the negatives and it's not
Speaker 1: just pretended didn't happen, but like but like I actually
Speaker 1: every life turned out pretty good. I'm okay, Yeah, And
Speaker 1: that's what the books about. That's what the books about,
Speaker 1: you know, in spite of the the quirks, the quirk
Speaker 1: the quirks. Uh yeah, trying to think of some of
Speaker 1: my favorite well can we all can we talk about
Speaker 1: back to Willie Um one of his So in the
Speaker 1: book you talk about you know, basically your mom was
Speaker 1: in charge of raising the kids. But there was one
Speaker 1: thing that she had Willie do because she couldn't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was too much for her, she couldn't handle. So
Speaker 1: basically she literally did all of our parenting except for
Speaker 1: one thing, and that was she actually cared for her
Speaker 1: own life and could not handle teaching my my brother
Speaker 1: and I how to drive. And because I lack focus
Speaker 1: on my brother lacks peripheral vision because he's blind, and
Speaker 1: so we we knew how to drive. My parents, by
Speaker 1: the way, would let us drive a folk second bug,
Speaker 1: but when we were like ten, like up and down
Speaker 1: the streets, like I knew how to actually operate a vehicle.
Speaker 1: But but you know, it's if you're planning on ever
Speaker 1: leaving Little Compton and going above thirty five miles an
Speaker 1: hour or a tractor is. My dad took us up
Speaker 1: to Root outside of Boston, which is basically like the
Speaker 1: Auto Bond, but it's filled with like mass holes with
Speaker 1: like camaros and mall bangs and uh. He taught us
Speaker 1: how to driving like the fastest most aggressive highway in America,
Speaker 1: and he took us up to the roy Rogers parking
Speaker 1: lot in his uh massa miata with his vanity plates
Speaker 1: and uh. And he gave my was one piece of advice,
Speaker 1: which you've always loved, Lisa. All he said was he
Speaker 1: was all right, kiddo. No, it wasn't even not loving.
Speaker 1: It was all right, kid, he who hesitates gets killed.
Speaker 1: I was like, what, Because he who hesitates gets killed.
Speaker 1: Go and basically like, if you're gonna merge, merge, if
Speaker 1: you're gonna, if you're gonna get on the highway, like
Speaker 1: you can't hesitate. If you're gonna, if you're gonna change lands,
Speaker 1: better fucking change lanes. And I gotta tell you, a
Speaker 1: He's right, He's right. It's really good advice I think
Speaker 1: in life. Like if that's the one piece of advice
Speaker 1: I got from him, I have to say I think
Speaker 1: he hesitated gets killed. It works in every situation. It does,
Speaker 1: it's good at it doesn't, and and it shows in
Speaker 1: the way you live your life. I've always said that,
Speaker 1: like that's I'm brave. I'm physically I am. I am
Speaker 1: very brave. I'm bold. I do it, I get it done.
Speaker 1: I'm careful physically with myself unless I'm filming something. If
Speaker 1: I'm filming something, I'm brave. If it's real life, I'm
Speaker 1: cautious physically. But you're not. You're not. You're the Chancellor
Speaker 1: of the Chancellor of Safety. I'm the Grand Chancellor. Which
Speaker 1: is a chapter in the book, folks, Yes, yes, I am.
Speaker 1: Can we talk about Can we talk about one part
Speaker 1: that's in that chapter? Yeah, which I there's a lot
Speaker 1: of stuff in here that I relate to big time,
Speaker 1: which I'm sure a lot of people would relate to. Um.
Speaker 1: But you're with a group of college friends, is it?
Speaker 1: Is it? Spring break? Spring break? Spring break? A real
Speaker 1: springbreak in Lake Powell, the world's largest manmade lake in
Speaker 1: a world largest man made Like like these are nightmare.
Speaker 1: It's a nightmare. The fact that you throw in manmade lake.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, you know, kissing chefs, like it's so
Speaker 1: good because manmade lake. So many people would just say
Speaker 1: a lake, you know, but you're like, manmade, like it
Speaker 1: just changes things. And so every you know, everyone's like
Speaker 1: drunk on this party barge and then they go to
Speaker 1: some cliff to start cliff jumping and you're like, no,
Speaker 1: thank you. No, everyone was drunk. There was a lot
Speaker 1: of other drunk boaters around that first of all, was
Speaker 1: a redhead in the Arizona sun crying myself with drunk
Speaker 1: people on water, which is a terrible idea. Already, I
Speaker 1: was on high alert. I didn't like it, but I
Speaker 1: was like, alright, fine. I was trying to be young
Speaker 1: and free freshman year in college, trying my best eighteen
Speaker 1: year old arden and and I grew up by the ocean.
Speaker 1: I know there's rocks underwater that you can't see, even
Speaker 1: in a man made like. I don't know what they
Speaker 1: left behind making that lake. I don't know what's in there.
Speaker 1: So they were jumping off cliffs. There was the largest
Speaker 1: cliffs I have everything. It was all the guys, and
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, ladies, this is bullshit. We're not going.
Speaker 1: And then I turned around. They were all gone. They
Speaker 1: were up there racing everybody but me. Was like the
Speaker 1: beginning of a teen horror movie. Jumping off the lake.
Speaker 1: And I didn't want to do it because I knew
Speaker 1: it was a terrible idea. Because I didn't I didn't
Speaker 1: know how I was going to land. I knew I've
Speaker 1: been drinking. I didn't know what was under the water.
Speaker 1: And I will say though, I am susceptible to peer pressure,
Speaker 1: and they made me jump off the lake and other
Speaker 1: people were like swan diving or like cannib and I
Speaker 1: was like, I'll just jump straight into the lake. I'll
Speaker 1: just fucking just let's just end this. Let me just
Speaker 1: this is I can't wait to be done with college.
Speaker 1: I'm so not into this. This is so not my jam.
Speaker 1: Can I read? Do you want me to read from it? Okay? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so this is from taking it where you're leaving off here? Fine,
Speaker 1: this is art and talking. Fine, I'll jump once. Okay.
Speaker 1: I climbed up to join all the revelers and look down.
Speaker 1: It suddenly seemed a thousand feet high. I like roller coasters,
Speaker 1: but this was insane. One two, three jump. I jumped.
Speaker 1: I did not dive. I was soaring and flailing through
Speaker 1: the air feet first. Before I knew it, I was
Speaker 1: rocketing into the water. I was safe, sort of. My
Speaker 1: entry into the lake felt like what can best be
Speaker 1: described as an enema, the size of Lake Powell rushing
Speaker 1: up my asshole I had. I had just lost my
Speaker 1: anal virginity to a manmade lake. No wait, this is
Speaker 1: my favorite part. People were swimming up to high five me.
Speaker 1: I was surprised that there was any water left for
Speaker 1: anyone else to swim in, as surely all of it
Speaker 1: had moved into my lower body cavity. There was so
Speaker 1: much water up my asshole. It hurts so much. It
Speaker 1: was so good an enema. I got an enema once
Speaker 1: water skiing, you've had that, you've had it? Did you
Speaker 1: have to find a bathroom fast? There was a liquidation
Speaker 1: that had to happen. It was look you and I've
Speaker 1: discussed on the podcast on our Patreon which you can
Speaker 1: go to now you can get like a hundred extra
Speaker 1: episodes if you're like a girl, I just want I
Speaker 1: want to watch people dating. We've discussed on our Patreon
Speaker 1: episode when you're in a panic and it's time. I
Speaker 1: don't know if there was ever as larger an emergency
Speaker 1: as there was that day, because I was with forty
Speaker 1: women and men from my college who I had still
Speaker 1: had four years to go with as a freshman. No bathroom,
Speaker 1: no bathroom nearby, because I was at a man made lake,
Speaker 1: use with a party barge, not a cigarette boat to
Speaker 1: get me. That's not a fast moving vehicle. That was
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say code red like code fire, like next
Speaker 1: level panic, just the level of panic that was. I
Speaker 1: will say this, when I set out to write the book,
Speaker 1: I really went like channeling the worst moments of mine,
Speaker 1: like just at did it? Did it? Did us by going?
Speaker 1: Did us buying the vibrating cock rings for the party
Speaker 1: machine end up in the book, because I've had that
Speaker 1: in drafts with the guy, you and I. You and
Speaker 1: I had a baby shower party. This was This was
Speaker 1: in a draft. We did a bachelor at party. And
Speaker 1: so you and I, who are not party for party
Speaker 1: for party machines, so a party machine bachelorette party. So
Speaker 1: you know what every time at a bachelor party they
Speaker 1: have like penis headbands and penis necklaces. So we went
Speaker 1: in New York City to like some like a sextor
Speaker 1: like Horny World or whatever on like seven that and
Speaker 1: it was covered in dust. We were all about the props.
Speaker 1: It was all about the props. And it was like
Speaker 1: really dumb, like a light up penis headband things like that.
Speaker 1: And I remember, so this was in a draft. It
Speaker 1: didn't end up in it, but I remember the guy
Speaker 1: eating like a gray pile of meat with his hands
Speaker 1: like a pile of meat with ketchup and meat shoveling
Speaker 1: it in, and you were so because you grew up
Speaker 1: in a like a very very religious family. You were
Speaker 1: not even allowed to listen to secular music, Like you
Speaker 1: don't know any pop culture efferences because you didn't you
Speaker 1: were it was a very very very religious family. You
Speaker 1: in a sex store with this man who was shoveling
Speaker 1: meat in with his hands, and I'm I'm not like
Speaker 1: the racist gal around. You went up to the counter
Speaker 1: and you said, oh, what's this as we were purchasing things,
Speaker 1: and he was like, that's the vibrating the vibrating cockering
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, he goes, he goes, you put
Speaker 1: it up. Yeah, what it was basically was saying it
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, like I put it on and it
Speaker 1: tickles your clip and you were like like like watching you,
Speaker 1: it was everything and there was covered in dust, looking
Speaker 1: at catchup and gray meat, atching this man talk about
Speaker 1: how he was going to put it on himself, and
Speaker 1: watching you still try to be polite with like a
Speaker 1: lighted his headband on your head. Hey, yeah, And I
Speaker 1: so basically you catalog when for me, when I was
Speaker 1: writing the book, I was cataloging. It was basically like
Speaker 1: worst off. You know what I mean, you catalog worst up? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's just rich. That's what I think. If
Speaker 1: I could use one word, this book is rich. But
Speaker 1: but the bones zone. Let's get in the bone zone, guys.
Speaker 1: So overall, if somebody was on the fence and they
Speaker 1: haven't bought it yet, Lisa, is there any final thing
Speaker 1: that you want to leave the listeners with? There's so
Speaker 1: much humping dogs. Oh, I want Here's what I wanted
Speaker 1: to talk about. J J. And you talked about how
Speaker 1: you grew up with um. I guess was it JJ's mom, Hilda? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was was really it was a card shark. I
Speaker 1: mean that's whole. There's this whole part in there about
Speaker 1: you growing up in grandmother like teaching out to play
Speaker 1: poker and amazing, and then you end up going to
Speaker 1: a casino. I mean was But I just wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about when you and I played cards with j J.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's right. So j J was out here.
Speaker 1: JJ loved Lisa and I we hit it off like
Speaker 1: immediately I met you too at that at that diner
Speaker 1: at the one on one diner. And then when the
Speaker 1: first time I've met your mom after all the of
Speaker 1: knowing you. That's shocking to me because she would come
Speaker 1: to party machines, but she would probably take off what
Speaker 1: she had been to party. Yeah, she's been to party machines.
Speaker 1: And so then she met. We went to the movies
Speaker 1: I met. I can't remember, probably something dumb. We loved.
Speaker 1: It was about that like football jock who came out
Speaker 1: as gay. Okay, I loved teen she that's perfect classic JJ.
Speaker 1: She loved it in movie. And then you came over.
Speaker 1: So she loved Lisa, so she she loved to come
Speaker 1: in to visit. She loved the girl. She's very social, butterfly,
Speaker 1: and she had just my dad had died like a
Speaker 1: couple of months earlier, and we were trying to encourage
Speaker 1: her to go on dating apps, and she didn't like it.
Speaker 1: She didn't want to date men her own age. She did,
Speaker 1: she said, she she didn't. She ask me if you'd
Speaker 1: ever seen old man balls and that you should never
Speaker 1: see old man balls. Yes, And she had a funny
Speaker 1: story about one guy she'd gone out with. What was
Speaker 1: that story? She'd gone out with a few of them,
Speaker 1: and I think it was basically like she's so fun
Speaker 1: that they were all like yeah and that like all
Speaker 1: of them were like dud's like looking for somebody to
Speaker 1: entertain them. And then she was like I don't want
Speaker 1: to because she hadn't been on the dating scenes since
Speaker 1: she was twenty two, so all of a sudden she
Speaker 1: still felt like she was twenty two, but she's now
Speaker 1: having to like match up with like seventy five year
Speaker 1: old guys and she's like, I don't think or as
Speaker 1: she said, homie, don't think so. Because she loved in
Speaker 1: loving Common, she would always say, how I don't think so,
Speaker 1: but so then then you remember to visit. And then
Speaker 1: j J loved to play games, were like, let's play
Speaker 1: some cards. We taught you how to play pounds, which
Speaker 1: is like group solitaire. Yes, k J loved Lisa, but
Speaker 1: the two of us were like staring at you and
Speaker 1: could not believe how bad at cards, Like we didn't understand,
Speaker 1: like I'm so I am so bad at cards? What
Speaker 1: did my mom's face look like? You know that It
Speaker 1: was a mix of like pity, yeah, but also like respect. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know she loved you. She was forgiving because she
Speaker 1: saw she she got it, like she's like that you
Speaker 1: weren't brought up by like maniacs, Like I was raised
Speaker 1: by maniacs, and it was like what they were into,
Speaker 1: they were super into and they're gonna make sure you're
Speaker 1: good at it too, and like they're not gonna take
Speaker 1: anything at you because you're five, like you're you just
Speaker 1: get it's that New England and gets get in the water.
Speaker 1: We don't care that it's four degrees. We're going first
Speaker 1: swim like they are maniacs And oh my god, you
Speaker 1: didn't have the right kind of like heavy handed schooling
Speaker 1: as a young five year old. Yeah, it's a slow
Speaker 1: it's I'm a slow moving I'm slow, but I'm good.
Speaker 1: I have a t shirt with a turtle on it
Speaker 1: that says, I'm I'm may be slow, but I'm good.
Speaker 1: I am fully trying to in because I've always been
Speaker 1: the you know, like the tortoise and the hair. I've
Speaker 1: always been the hair, but the tortoise ones in the end.
Speaker 1: So I've been trying to adopt the tortoise lifestyle because
Speaker 1: it's not my natural habitat well, I'm still our friends.
Speaker 1: That's why we're friends. That's why we're friends. That's why
Speaker 1: we're friends, and you are the one who read this,
Speaker 1: and you said art and it's not your memoir, it's
Speaker 1: your mom war. It's a mom wir. It's a lovely tribute,
Speaker 1: lovely tribute to j J, who gave herself that nickname.
Speaker 1: She was Janet until she was seventy five, and then
Speaker 1: she started signing all of her emails and texts exo JJ.
Speaker 1: Which way I mean truly, it felt so insane to
Speaker 1: me that you could give yourself your own nickname to
Speaker 1: begin with at any age that you could give your
Speaker 1: Nobody gave it to her. Okay, she's like that, it's
Speaker 1: seventy five. You could give yourself a nickname and just
Speaker 1: go so and everybody in town calls her j J.
Speaker 1: It was just like, so, I of course I'm an
Speaker 1: want a JJ. Like to me, JJ was like a
Speaker 1: fresh start. JJ was on the dating apps. JJ wanted
Speaker 1: to date Rob Benedict, Like, yeah, I'll call you j J.
Speaker 1: Like JJ's like she would say, like with the dating
Speaker 1: of the guys that the old men she wanted. She
Speaker 1: wanted to date Rob Benedict And she said, I don't
Speaker 1: want to be a nurse or a purse like for
Speaker 1: an old guy. I don't want to be a nurse
Speaker 1: or a person. I don't want to pay for him,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to take care of him like
Speaker 1: I've done. I don't be a nurse or a purse.
Speaker 1: I'll date your friend, Rob, And Rob said I would
Speaker 1: date your mom. And that's where we love. He's so cute.
Speaker 1: He's cute. Up. Yeah, we love Rob well, Lisa. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I, I, you know, from somebody who doesn't
Speaker 1: really read very much and I have a hard time
Speaker 1: getting through books. I love that I introduced you as
Speaker 1: a reader, and you know what, that's the kind of
Speaker 1: friendship we have. I believe in you as a reader.
Speaker 1: I mean I have some books have I gonna read
Speaker 1: them all. But I you know, I've read this book
Speaker 1: twice actually, and it's like I read it the second
Speaker 1: time and I felt like I hadn't ever read it before.
Speaker 1: It's because it's just I don't know, it's um I
Speaker 1: go back to the word rich, and it's just super
Speaker 1: entertaining and funny. And then there's you know, there's like
Speaker 1: some real serious kind of dealing with grief and it's
Speaker 1: kind of in the end and and h and this
Speaker 1: shout out to this podcast. I gave a shout out
Speaker 1: to the podcast in it because you know what they
Speaker 1: showed up for me. They weren't scared of it when
Speaker 1: it all happened. And that like the gift of it
Speaker 1: is that you can actually like the hope because I
Speaker 1: feel like the world right now is having collective like
Speaker 1: it's it's people are mourning their normal lives, some people
Speaker 1: have lost people like is that you it may not
Speaker 1: be our best year ever collectively, but you can still
Speaker 1: have some fun and we don't need to make it
Speaker 1: our worst, like you could still have some sparkles along
Speaker 1: the way, and like, and I think it's a good
Speaker 1: book for right now. Absolutely, And what do you say
Speaker 1: about you have to walk through it? About grief like
Speaker 1: you gotta feel it to heal it. Oh man, you
Speaker 1: gotta feel it to heal it. You gotta feel it
Speaker 1: to heal it. Basically, if you don't deal with it,
Speaker 1: it's gonna deal with you, so you may as well
Speaker 1: deal with it. But I give a fun look. Honestly,
Speaker 1: some of my healing like recommendations are literally watching stuff
Speaker 1: like The Bachelor, or watching Queer I or Great British
Speaker 1: Bake Off, or going on walks or dancing, Like it's
Speaker 1: not all like I mean like hug it out, talk
Speaker 1: about cry it out. It's only like one little part,
Speaker 1: you know. One of the upshots of grief, I'm like
Speaker 1: I was I am the biggest people pleaser, and the
Speaker 1: upshot of losing j J. I just couldn't do it anymore.
Speaker 1: I had no skin on my body and it was
Speaker 1: just like very clear to me, who do I want
Speaker 1: to hang out with? Who don't? Like an email would
Speaker 1: come in like an invitation, and my body would just
Speaker 1: have a reaction and I would either be like yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to be with them or like no fucking way.
Speaker 1: And I couldn't force myself to people please, whereas the
Speaker 1: rest of my life I'd be like, oh I should
Speaker 1: go or I should do that or a work thing.
Speaker 1: And uh. One of the upshots was like it became
Speaker 1: really clear like what works and who what work and
Speaker 1: just leaning into that and that I don't need to
Speaker 1: people please anymore and like that's been a really good thing.
Speaker 1: I hope that lasts for me. Yeah, And and also
Speaker 1: that you kind of in a way like you say
Speaker 1: that there's you're not there's nothing really that you can
Speaker 1: be afraid of. Anymore because the worst possible thing has happened,
Speaker 1: you know, and that much to my surprise, So that
Speaker 1: was last year. Much to my surprise, it was also
Speaker 1: like a beautiful, great year. Like that's the thing. It
Speaker 1: can be all of it, it can be all of it.
Speaker 1: I used to be such a worry ward and you're like,
Speaker 1: I still tend to worry sometimes, but I do now
Speaker 1: and know that that's like my I don't have like
Speaker 1: there's it doesn't do anything. Yeah, let's just have it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna first of all, Lisa, what a great interviewer,
Speaker 1: What a great interviewer NPR watch out all things considered
Speaker 1: here he is Lisa delirious. Will you help me put
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna call people's names. If I call your name,
Speaker 1: email us and go hey, bitch, you call my name
Speaker 1: Rose Podcast at gmail dot com, and you get your choice.
Speaker 1: You tell me if you want a t shirt, if
Speaker 1: you want a little little Compton Sturdy great tote bag,
Speaker 1: or if you want a meet the authors with Arden
Speaker 1: and Mitten's recreation on my sixth grade photo puzzle. I'm
Speaker 1: pilling four winners, and don't forget to get your tickets
Speaker 1: in advance for Dynasty Typewriter this Saturday PM Pacific a
Speaker 1: p m. Eastern. Come we can, we might pull you up, um,
Speaker 1: but it's virtual. And if you buy your ticket advance,
Speaker 1: you'll get a link and it'll go. It's only five
Speaker 1: dollars and it'll be up all week. And if you
Speaker 1: buy your book through that website, you can have me
Speaker 1: sign it to you or your loved one or somebody
Speaker 1: you hate. I don't know, all right, at least I'm
Speaker 1: picking four winners. Tell me when to stop. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: tell me when to stop. To pick one okay, okay.
Speaker 1: The first winner is Sue Stellic. You won the gift
Speaker 1: of your choice. Okay. Number two, tell me when to stop. Okay, stop, okay,
Speaker 1: all right. Oh she was the third person to email in.
Speaker 1: Mary Bennett. You probably bought your book back in February.
Speaker 1: You just want something, Come on, Mary, Okay, two more too,
Speaker 1: more to stop and stop? Okay. Number three, we have
Speaker 1: Peter Lock. You just won the gift of your choice.
Speaker 1: Last one, okay, what's up? Okay? Last one we have okay,
Speaker 1: Juleane Deppen. You just one the gift of your choice.
Speaker 1: So that's Sue Stellic. Mary Bennett, Peter Lock, and Julene
Speaker 1: depp In DApp in email in say I want, tell
Speaker 1: me what you want and where to send it? Um,
Speaker 1: keep emailing in your receipts. A Little Miss Little Content
Speaker 1: comes out Tuesday, the twenty nine. It's here you, guys.
Speaker 1: I hope you love it. If you do like it,
Speaker 1: please leave a review for it on Amazon and good Reads.
Speaker 1: It really helps, even if you haven't read it to
Speaker 1: sleep in nice review. Even if you hate it, leave
Speaker 1: a nice review. Oh Elie, Oh wait, I don't think
Speaker 1: there's any way anybody can hate this book? Well? Will
Speaker 1: you leave a nice review on good Reads? Lisa? It helps.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it does, but apparently it helps you. Guys.
Speaker 1: We love you. There's gonna be another Feeling Thorny episode
Speaker 1: up on next Wednesday with Aaron Foley, who's so wonderful,
Speaker 1: and then we'll be back. Um, I guess it airs
Speaker 1: October to Our episode will be up October fifteenth with
Speaker 1: the coming back of the Bachelorette. And in the meantime,
Speaker 1: if you're like craving more episodes of people, Lisa, how
Speaker 1: fun is watching Bachelorette New Zealand? There's two Bachelorettes. Isn't
Speaker 1: it fantast and the guys are nice. Yeah, it's uh,
Speaker 1: it's it's a I can't wait to watch the next episode.
Speaker 1: It's so good. It's so good. And you and m
Speaker 1: K are joy and of course Tanna Banana Dr Banana. Um.
Speaker 1: All right, you guys, um and conclusion, Katie, Lisa, thank
Speaker 1: you both and all the listeners. I certainly didn't picture
Speaker 1: my book coming out in a global pandemic. I could
Speaker 1: not feel more love. Obviously, I'm trying to get on
Speaker 1: the New York Time Spenseller list. It's a really long shot,
Speaker 1: and I am regardless, and if I do, I'm going
Speaker 1: to force my brother to let me throw a live
Speaker 1: show him. JJ's yard were long sleeves, so you don't
Speaker 1: get that tick biting thing. But um, here's the deal,
Speaker 1: you guys. Regardless, I felt so much love, so much appreciation,
Speaker 1: and more than anything, I just can't wait for you
Speaker 1: guys to read the book, and I hope you all
Speaker 1: love it, and I hope you all feel seen, and
Speaker 1: I hope you all feel supported and that you see
Speaker 1: a little bit of something of yourself from it. Lisa delirious.
Speaker 1: Where can people find you Oh. Instagram at Lisa Delarious Great.
Speaker 1: I'm on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook at Arta Marine,
Speaker 1: m y R I n Katie Levine. Where can people
Speaker 1: find you? I'm Katie Underscore Money on Twitter and Instagram.
Speaker 1: All right, you guys, thank you so much. Is almost here.
Speaker 1: We made it. Hopefully we'll see you at our book
Speaker 1: release party with Rob Benedict, Lauren Lobkuz, Brian Sofie, and
Speaker 1: my brother, the creator of Shady Head, Aleric Mareen. H
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I want to get all up and feels
Speaker 1: so good. I just gotta one puss. When you read
Speaker 1: this rule your words, your word? Will you accept this?
Speaker 1: Rose is a production of I Heart Radio. For more
Speaker 1: podcast from I Heeart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app,
Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.