WEBVTT - Paper Anniversary 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.680 Hell I Suck at Dating with Dengler and Jared Haven 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:11.840 and I heard radio podcast What is up? Everyone? Welcome 0:00:11.880 --> 0:00:15.160 to an all new episode of Help I Suck at Dating. 0:00:15.640 --> 0:00:19.480 We're here. It is a huge, huge day for Suck 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:23.680 Army for help I Suck at Dating for so many reasons. 0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:26.040 We have a lot to share with you guys. Before 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:28.000 we get into all those things that we do, want 0:00:28.040 --> 0:00:31.920 to plug our live show that we're recording next week. 0:00:32.920 --> 0:00:34.800 What is that date, Jared? You know the date. It's 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:39.280 gonna be August August eighteen. Uh tickets are still on 0:00:39.320 --> 0:00:42.240 sale for that ten dollars gets you onto the live show. 0:00:42.240 --> 0:00:44.520 It's a virtual show, of course, and then thirty dollars 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:48.000 gets you that special live show plus Beanie package, which, 0:00:48.200 --> 0:00:50.480 let's be real, who the heck doesn't want to suck 0:00:50.560 --> 0:00:53.360 Army Beanie. I wear mind night every night when I 0:00:53.360 --> 0:00:55.640 go to sleep. I wear it most days when I shower, 0:00:55.800 --> 0:00:59.720 we most showers that I take. Um Caitln looks at 0:00:59.760 --> 0:01:01.600 me very strangely whenever I do that, but that's just 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:03.840 how much I love it. Uh, So get your stuck 0:01:03.920 --> 0:01:05.800 Army Beanie. Be sure to get your ticket for the 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:09.320 live show. We will share that on our Instagram as well, Jared, 0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:11.440 where can they get tickets for the last show? So 0:01:11.520 --> 0:01:13.920 they can go to help us Second Dating Instagram and 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:16.520 the link to get tickets is in the bio, so 0:01:16.600 --> 0:01:18.600 you just go there clicking the bio and you'll be 0:01:18.640 --> 0:01:20.800 automatically sent to the website where you can purchase tickets 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:23.840 for the live event August eighteenth. Like Dean said, um 0:01:24.200 --> 0:01:27.920 are also August eighteenth is Couple's Day, So obviously if 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:30.720 you suck at dating, you'll be available. So why don't 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:33.319 you come on down? It's like the price is right, 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:36.920 You're next. Help I suck at dating, so Jared. For 0:01:36.959 --> 0:01:39.319 the people that don't have Instagram, where can they go 0:01:39.560 --> 0:01:42.240 to get tickets for the live show? They can go 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:46.080 to h I s A d slash ticks dot com. 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:48.920 Is that correct, Danielle tick Sarah t i x r 0:01:49.000 --> 0:01:52.800 dot com. Almost there, h I s A d dot 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:56.160 t i x r dot com. So help us Second 0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:59.600 Dating dot tistar dot com. Perfect. Thank you, Danielle. We 0:01:59.640 --> 0:02:02.040 need in Yale because you speak a lot better than 0:02:02.080 --> 0:02:04.360 I do. Anyways, for those that are listening and want 0:02:04.360 --> 0:02:05.800 to be part of the live show, be sure to 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:08.760 tune in next week and get your tickets between now 0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:12.160 and then. But don't wait because tickets are going fast, 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:16.440 uh and there might be a limited quality quantity. I 0:02:16.440 --> 0:02:19.880 don't know, but get your tickets high said dot tixer 0:02:20.120 --> 0:02:22.480 dot com. Ten dollars, I'll get your ticket. Three dollars 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:25.400 gets your ticket into Beanie. Anyways, beyond that, beyond our 0:02:25.440 --> 0:02:27.320 love show next week, which we are more than excited 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:29.359 for we want you to be part of, there is 0:02:29.600 --> 0:02:35.760 some big news, uh among our former co hosts, and 0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:39.200 even some big news with our current co host Um. 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:42.440 So if you're falling along to this podcast, you'll have 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:44.200 known that Vanessa was a big part of the podcast 0:02:44.240 --> 0:02:45.840 for a long time, and she still is very near 0:02:45.840 --> 0:02:48.519 and dear to our hearts. And she just recently got 0:02:48.520 --> 0:02:50.960 engaged a couple of days ago, so maybe we can 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:56.640 give a round of applause for um. She got engaged 0:02:56.639 --> 0:03:02.920 to her boyfriend Josh, and well now fiance. Yep, now fiance. Josh. 0:03:02.960 --> 0:03:05.360 I met Josh before. He's an incredible guy, Josh Wolfe. 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:08.639 They're up in Canada right now. I can't I haven't 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:10.200 talked to Vanessa in a while, but I sent her 0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:12.760 a congratulatory text and I think she kind of knew 0:03:12.760 --> 0:03:14.520 from the earl. I don't want to speak for her, obviously, 0:03:14.560 --> 0:03:16.000 it would be great to be able to get Vanessa 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:18.560 on the podcast and have her kind of relive the 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:21.200 moment and the relationship up to that point. But I 0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:23.120 do know that when they started dating, she was very 0:03:23.200 --> 0:03:25.720 enamored by him, and she from a very early stage 0:03:25.800 --> 0:03:27.120 kind of thought that he was going to be the one. 0:03:27.160 --> 0:03:30.520 So it's really good to see that, you know, her 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:34.520 dreams of being a wife and hopefully becoming a mother 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:38.080 are are coming are coming true, and it's to the 0:03:38.080 --> 0:03:39.520 person that she loves, which is Josh. And he's a 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:43.880 great guy. Um so yeah, yeah, I mean I would. 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:46.760 I'm just Ashley and I are super happy for Vanessa. 0:03:46.840 --> 0:03:49.839 We sent her congratulated texts obviously as well. We talked 0:03:49.880 --> 0:03:51.960 to Vanessa like probably ever like foo months, I guess, 0:03:51.960 --> 0:03:54.880 but super happy for her Josh, Like you said, I'm 0:03:54.920 --> 0:03:58.720 just repeating the sediments. Super awesome guy, badass, last name 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:02.840 Josh Josh. Plus he's got gray hair and like gray beard, 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:05.280 so he just like looks like a wolf, which makes 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:07.840 it even more badass. Curious if Vanessa is going to 0:04:07.960 --> 0:04:10.880 change her name because Grimaldi is such they both have 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:15.560 badass last names, Grimaldi, Vanessa Grimaldi, and so I'm curious 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:18.680 if she's gonna go by Vanessa wolf now. Um, but 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:23.880 super happy for her that she's engaged. Uh and um, 0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:27.440 I think, like you said, she's just an awesome person 0:04:28.000 --> 0:04:32.360 who I'm very excited too for her to have a 0:04:32.400 --> 0:04:35.240 family one day, because I think Vanessa is going to 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:38.839 be the greatest mom. Uh. If anybody is out there 0:04:38.960 --> 0:04:42.479 has ever had the privilege of meeting Vanessa, she gives 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:48.280 off very warm vibes, very friendly vibes, nurturing vibes, and um, 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:51.200 you know when she was on the podcast, she really 0:04:51.839 --> 0:04:55.080 you know, she certainly put us in line and took 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:57.240 care of us. And so I know that she's gonna 0:04:57.240 --> 0:05:00.000 be a great, great mom one day, a wonderful, wonderful wife. 0:05:00.600 --> 0:05:03.880 And Josh is a very lucky guy and he seems 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:06.560 super nice as well. Uh, they're just a great couple 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:08.080 and it couldn't be more excited for them. Does this 0:05:08.120 --> 0:05:11.920 mean that she doesn't suck at dating anymore? Uh? Well, 0:05:11.960 --> 0:05:15.800 like we've established, you never stopped sucking at dating, right, 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:18.200 It's kind of Uh, it's kind of something. It's it's 0:05:18.240 --> 0:05:21.680 it's something that you incorporate into your lifestyle. I think 0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:25.720 even when you're married, engaged, or dating someone, so I 0:05:25.760 --> 0:05:27.960 think for all intents and purposes, will say that she 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:30.560 still sucks at dating. Oh totally. I think we can 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:35.279 assume that Josh probably doesn't suck at dating and that's yeah, 0:05:35.320 --> 0:05:37.359 that's that's what it seems like he has together. I 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:39.960 post I just posted on the help my secondary instagram 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:42.400 picture of you and I from our my wedding last year, 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:46.080 and it tell us dancing, and the caption is, uh, 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:49.239 we might be in relationships, but we're always gonna suck 0:05:49.279 --> 0:05:52.360 at dating. Yeah that's good, that's and that's true. That's 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:55.240 that's you know, that's what we embody, we embody suck nous. 0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:58.680 We understand that it's part of our relationships, part of 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:01.240 our life. But you gotta learned to live with the suckiness. 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:02.680 And that's really what we're all about here on help 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:05.120 by Sucky Dating. It's it's a way of life, really, 0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:08.160 just always sucking at dating. Just ask my wife. I 0:06:08.400 --> 0:06:13.400 like that everything. I like that. On a Vanessa's engagement day, 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:16.159 we posted a photo of us too. I posted on 0:06:16.200 --> 0:06:19.839 the story to say congratulations to Vanessa. You did, okay, Okay. Well, 0:06:19.880 --> 0:06:23.039 the reason I posted it was because today is my 0:06:23.160 --> 0:06:26.400 one year anniversary and I was going through wedding photos 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:29.039 and I saw a great photo of us too, and 0:06:29.080 --> 0:06:32.240 I was like, oh, I want to post this so today. Yeah, 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:34.120 that's the other big news that we were talking about 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:38.280 the top of the episode. Obviously, Vanessa's engagement huge, huge deal. 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:40.760 But Vanessa is not here, so we care more about 0:06:40.800 --> 0:06:42.960 the people that are here. I wouldn't say we care more, 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:45.719 we're just, you know, maybe it's a more of a 0:06:46.160 --> 0:06:48.479 I don't know, a topic of conversation because Vanessa can't 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:53.039 speak on hopefully van podcast you're here. That's that's just 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:55.120 how it is, you know. So it's one year you've 0:06:55.120 --> 0:06:59.159 been You've been married for a whole sixty five days, 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:02.440 Crazy Earth has revolved around the sun one full rotation, 0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:06.440 and you are still married to Ashley. It was almost 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:10.360 a full year since you missed your flight. Uh, well 0:07:11.080 --> 0:07:13.160 I did miss my flight, but I was able to 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:15.880 book another one. No, it was awesome because you called me. 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:17.640 I think you were you were supposed to. You flew 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:20.720 on Friday and then you called me Friday morning and 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:24.040 you were like, listen, man, my flight I canceled and 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:26.720 I forget. You said you got rerouted to Boston and 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:29.679 like all this crazy, and I was like, oh that sucks, man. 0:07:30.320 --> 0:07:32.960 And you said that you couldn't make because so our 0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:35.280 wedding was on a Sunday and Friday. We had a 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:38.960 boat for like the wedding party, and obviously Dean was 0:07:39.000 --> 0:07:41.120 a grunsman and then you were, and so you couldn't 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:42.560 make it, but you ended up like making it, I 0:07:42.560 --> 0:07:44.840 think that night and like met up with us. I think, yeah, 0:07:44.920 --> 0:07:47.080 I had to rebook a one way flight from l 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:50.280 A to Boston, which ended up classing me like five bucks. 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:52.920 But I was like, I can't believe I missed this flight. Uh. 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:54.520 And then I got in, like I got into Boston 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:56.120 at like ten pm, and then I had to take 0:07:56.160 --> 0:07:58.880 the train down to Providence, which was like an hour 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:01.200 and a half or however long it is. Yeah, but 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:04.320 so I got in pretty late, and when I got 0:08:04.400 --> 0:08:06.400 in pretty late, everyone's like already kind of party in 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:07.760 and we went to the bar. It was still it 0:08:07.800 --> 0:08:09.560 worked out, don't get me wrong, but yeah, it was. 0:08:10.360 --> 0:08:13.160 It's not my finest moment. It was so funny because 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:15.080 I felt so bad. You know, you told me this 0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:17.480 story about how the flight got rerouted and all this stuff, 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:19.320 and then the day of the wedding, I was like, man, 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:22.080 that's crazy that they canceled your flight and then rerouted 0:08:22.120 --> 0:08:23.760 you and you had to like do all this stuff, 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:26.520 and You're like, I just lied. I I felt bad. 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:29.800 I just missed it. I was like, Okay, yeah, that 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:32.880 makes sense. I didn't want to be honest in that situation, like, oh, 0:08:32.920 --> 0:08:35.080 should I miss my flight to my buddy's wedding? Like 0:08:35.559 --> 0:08:37.400 I was fine, dude, it was great. It made it 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:40.280 made a great story. But yeah, man, it was one 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:43.480 year ago. So Ashley and I are in Newport right now, Newport, 0:08:43.559 --> 0:08:47.760 Rhode Island, UM, to celebrate the anniversary because obviously this 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:49.800 is where we got married, and it's really nice being back. 0:08:49.840 --> 0:08:52.880 It's nice being um, it's nice being home. But it's 0:08:52.920 --> 0:08:55.280 just really nice being back in Newport and reminiscing about 0:08:55.280 --> 0:08:57.000 all the memories that we had from last year. And 0:08:57.080 --> 0:08:59.840 it really was the best weekend of my life and 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:02.679 specifically the best day of my life. Uh, it was 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:07.960 just having it's so surreal, um, having everybody that you love, 0:09:08.400 --> 0:09:10.480 you know, everybody that you care about, and you know, 0:09:10.600 --> 0:09:12.880 or mostly everybody you know. Obviously some people you know, 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:16.319 I can't make it, but UM like having those people 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:20.040 in your room, you know, under one roof, and especially 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:22.560 like our lives actually and and mine, you know, we 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:25.520 have like you know, you and and Tanner and Nick 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:27.640 and all these producers that were super close with I 0:09:27.640 --> 0:09:30.760 mean obviously one of the producers along form producer was 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:32.840 the officient at the wedding. And so I feel like 0:09:33.000 --> 0:09:35.880 we have this one side of friends and family, people 0:09:35.920 --> 0:09:40.079 that we love, um that just doesn't know another aspect 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:42.720 of our life. And it's the same vice versa. We're like, 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:46.000 you know, our our our parents and sisters and family 0:09:46.040 --> 0:09:48.320 and cousins and everybody that we're so close with back home, 0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:50.840 just they don't know you guys, and you guys don't 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:52.640 know them. And it's so weird because we're so close 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:55.040 with both you, you know, both sides. And so that 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:57.440 was so nice, you know, to have like you there 0:09:57.480 --> 0:09:59.880 and Ben and Nick and and have you guys in 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:03.200 to interact with like my dad and my cousin and 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:05.920 my childhood friends, you know, and I have those worlds. 0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:09.960 Merge was was you know, one of the coolest feelings ever. 0:10:10.160 --> 0:10:14.520 And uh yeah, man, one year, So I got the 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:18.040 one year anniversary is the paper gift? Like, you know 0:10:18.080 --> 0:10:21.880 how like each anniversary has a different gift apparently, so 0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:23.720 I looked it up in the one year is the 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:27.520 paper one, which is apparently meant to represent the fragility 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:30.480 of your relationship because it's your only one year in 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:34.040 so it still could be torn pretty easily, which sounds 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:37.760 pretty depressing when you really think about it. But whatever. 0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:40.760 Uh so, I I got actually a couple of things, 0:10:40.800 --> 0:10:43.160 like we're gonna I got her like a getaway weekend, 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:46.880 and I got her necklace that was engraved and and 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:49.719 then but also I wanted to give her something made 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:52.240 out of paper because it's the paper anniversary. So I 0:10:52.520 --> 0:10:56.080 got her like this construction paper, and I bought these 0:10:56.120 --> 0:10:58.520 markers and wrote her a little poem on there and 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:00.920 drew you know, like pink and red hearts. It looked like, 0:11:01.000 --> 0:11:03.240 you know, my four year old niece drew it. But 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:05.600 you know, it's the thought that counts at the end 0:11:05.600 --> 0:11:08.760 of the day. Um so, so yeah, So we're in 0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:11.480 Newport right now. We're gonna go to dinner later and celebrate. 0:11:11.559 --> 0:11:15.440 And a year later, man still still married. Did she 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:19.680 get you anything paper related? No, not paper related. She 0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:21.400 did get me something also, though. She got me a 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:24.120 Red Sox golf bag, which is pretty badass because so 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:26.840 I have a yeah, I've been New England Patriots golf bag. Dude. 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:29.600 It's like my pride and joy in Rhode Island, and 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:32.520 I have Red Sox balls. I have Red Sox club covers, 0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:35.720 a Newham Patriots bag with like a Bruins towel, and 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:38.960 then back west, I just have like a traditional golf bag. 0:11:39.000 --> 0:11:40.480 Because I was like, well, I'll just buy clubs over here. 0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:43.080 I'm not gonna ship them back and forth from, you know, 0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:46.360 across the country. So she bought me a Red Sox 0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:48.959 badass golf bag that I can use in California, which 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:52.160 is two clubs. Yeah, I do have two sets of clubs, dude. 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:53.439 I was shipping them back and forth and it was 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:55.080 like a hunter and twenty bucks each time. I was like, 0:11:55.080 --> 0:11:57.439 this is stupid. I'm just gonna buy a two pair 0:11:57.440 --> 0:12:00.160 of clubs. So married for a year, as the first 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:02.240 year marriage been what you've expected it to be, hasn't 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:03.960 been different in any sort of way. What's going on 0:12:04.040 --> 0:12:05.720 with the whole year and actually, as I see her 0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:08.040 trying to steal the mic from you, unbelievable. She always 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:10.720 comes in on my podcast. I'm working, You're letting come 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:12.920 on my podcast all the time. I find it entertaining. 0:12:13.040 --> 0:12:15.880 I was just listening upstairs and you go, so yeah, 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:20.000 a year later, we're still married. As if totally non sarkastically. 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:24.320 I don't know. I just say things. Actually I I 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:29.440 say nonsense. But you usually do fantastic jobs. I don't know. 0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:36.800 I do a fantastic job. That's funny. Yeah, Dean goes 0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:41.880 one year down, one year ago? Has anything changed? As 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:45.160 do you think anything's changed in our marriage? She said, no, 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:47.400 Has it been what you expected it to be though 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:50.360 the first year? Yeah, I don't. I think it's what 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:54.200 we expected, Like, not much has changed. Are two of 0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:56.480 our friends got married and they're late twenties, and they 0:12:56.520 --> 0:12:58.760 said that the first year was harder than they initially 0:12:58.760 --> 0:13:00.400 thought it was going to be. But they all didn't 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:02.800 live together before they got married, So I'm curious if 0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:05.120 that had anything to do with it. Because Ashley and 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:06.880 I lived together while we were engaged for a full 0:13:06.960 --> 0:13:08.920 year before we got married. I feel like if you 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:11.440 lived together before you're married, not much changes, you know, 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:12.960 you just put a ring on it. I feel like 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:18.319 I guess there is more of like um um gravity 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:21.840 to our relationship, if that makes sense, because now you know, 0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:24.880 I talk about my wife instead of my fiance or girlfriend, 0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:29.240 which feels more impactful. But you know that scientifically, like 0:13:29.320 --> 0:13:32.480 their stats that show that couples that lived together before 0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:36.280 they're engaged have a highed divorce rate. Think that it's 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:39.600 because it puts like it's almost like the guy feels 0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:42.480 the pressure to like, Okay, well, this is the next step, 0:13:42.600 --> 0:13:45.679 Like this is just a formula, and it makes it 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:49.000 feel like the girl feels as if, like he was, 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:52.160 it was forced upon him, and like that's why I 0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:53.840 always said that I wasn't gonna love with you until 0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:57.120 we were engaged. I also feel like it's a little 0:13:57.120 --> 0:13:59.240 bit of buying the milk for free. If you're living, 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:02.840 if you're if you're living a life that is um 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:06.640 very it feels like a marriage, then what's the real 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:09.400 need to like make it an official? I mean when 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:12.160 when you think of the concept of marriage is an 0:14:12.200 --> 0:14:14.640 element of stupidity doing Yeah, but you know what I like, 0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:19.520 I like a lovely contract between us. Oh, we're signed. 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:21.560 She makes a good point, and I say the same 0:14:21.600 --> 0:14:23.360 thing to Caylin all the time too. It's like, you know, 0:14:23.400 --> 0:14:26.760 we lived together. It's basically like we're married. Yeah, I mean, 0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:29.600 there's really not much difference except when you guys get married, 0:14:29.640 --> 0:14:31.720 you just bring the government in on it, which, you know, 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:35.840 like I said, on the surface, sounds pretty stupid. You're like, hey, 0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:38.360 the way I'm going to express my love to you 0:14:38.400 --> 0:14:42.680 more than anything is to bring the government in. Also, 0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:46.720 let me just clarify the whole milk for free thing. 0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:53.880 I am a traditionalist, like the ultimate traditionalist. I have 0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:57.920 like those old school morals and values. I just like 0:14:58.040 --> 0:15:01.640 it that way, okay. I Also, I'm not judging, and 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:04.400 I don't find there any issue if somebody doesn't want 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:07.680 to get married in paperwork either. There we go. So 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:10.480 it sounds like Ashley hates my my mindset and hates 0:15:10.520 --> 0:15:13.160 everything that I represent. But that's okay. You know, I 0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:15.960 don't need Ashley's approval to be happy in my relationship. 0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:19.760 Dean said that he said that you pretty much just 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:23.840 hate everything about his relationship. Then, basically to the listeners 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:27.000 out there that you don't like my way of going 0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:29.120 about relationships. That's okay. You know, like you said you're 0:15:29.120 --> 0:15:32.800 a traditionalist, I'm not. I'm not. You're the antithesis of 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:37.800 a traditionalist. Yes, So like I'm totally that's like the 0:15:37.880 --> 0:15:39.720 Dean way, and I'm totally fine with it because that's 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:42.560 you and then I and me, And I also even 0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:46.280 think that you probably would consider marry and Kayla one day. 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:49.800 But like it's also it's not the whole government paperwork. 0:15:49.920 --> 0:15:53.480 You are very very committed. Yeah, I just like to 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:55.200 go against the grain. You know, just because it's a 0:15:55.200 --> 0:15:57.320 tradition doesn't make it just makes me not want to 0:15:57.360 --> 0:15:59.840 do it, you know. And that's totally fun. And I 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:02.000 like the way that you have your own set of ways. 0:16:02.040 --> 0:16:07.960 And is Klin traditional? Like does she? She? She is 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:10.440 very traditional, Yes, And it's it's not a point of 0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:13.440 contention in our relationship whatsoever, but it's definitely a constant 0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:17.920 conversation now we're having not yet. Well, Jared, how would 0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:22.840 you explain yourself? I mean, I'm I'm I'm somewhere in 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:25.680 between you two. I think, yeah, I'm a traditionalist, but 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:28.960 I also can go against the grain. Yeah, but with relationships, 0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:31.760 you would always be like he told me very early 0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:36.880 on in our relationship romantic the relationship that he always 0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:39.920 felt like what he was born to be as a husband. Yeah, 0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:43.480 I agree with Yeah, I felt like I but that's 0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:47.200 just my personality exactly. And actually, how has he done 0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:49.080 as a husband in the first year. He's been the 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:52.520 best husband ever. I made her breakfast in bed this morning. 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:55.720 I made her French toast. That is a door And 0:16:55.760 --> 0:16:57.240 how is the French toast that it tastes good? It 0:16:57.320 --> 0:16:58.960 was very good. Well, it was kind of weird. It's 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:01.800 like a health food French toast because, like I am 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:04.879 trying to cut down dairy, and the local market only 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:07.920 had all organic stuff, so I couldn't really up and 0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:11.000 make it taste good. And then she has this coconut milk, 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:13.800 So I don't think it really was the best, but 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:16.920 it was fine. It was definitely a healthy French Organic 0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:20.080 certainly doesn't mean health food it all. It doesn't mean 0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:24.359 non fatty. Yeah, I agree. I think you can, like 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:29.560 without pesticides and without chemicals. Okay, so before before actually 0:17:29.560 --> 0:17:31.560 before you take off, and before we jump to a 0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:33.720 break to it to get our guests in here. As 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:35.840 on a scale of one to ten, I want you 0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:38.560 both to rate each other as a partner over the 0:17:38.560 --> 0:17:42.520 past year of married life. Be honest. Well, I mean, 0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:46.480 I can't think of anything that you've done wrong. Damn. 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:48.960 I mean, I'm sure I've done plenty of things wrong. 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:51.000 Does that mean Jared's a ten out of ten? I 0:17:51.000 --> 0:17:53.520 can't even think of one massive fight we had. No 0:17:53.800 --> 0:17:56.160 we bicker, but we never we never had a blow 0:17:56.200 --> 0:17:58.560 out of fight. We also haven't bickered in a while. Yeah, 0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:01.480 it's been a long time. We bickered the most. I 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:04.920 think the hardest month it was probably March in April, 0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:07.920 but it wasn't even that hard. It was just that 0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:11.080 he was quarantine and my parents, and he was really bored, 0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:14.879 and I was really content, and I was like trying 0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:16.560 to make him happy. And I don't know if there 0:18:16.640 --> 0:18:19.600 was anything I had in my control to make him happy. 0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:26.200 I think also, I remember we had a moment in October. 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:31.040 We're uh. It was bad, not bad, but it was. 0:18:31.920 --> 0:18:34.840 We were in Rhode Island. It was right around Halloween, 0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:36.840 and I remember we were going back to l A. 0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:40.040 I don't know. I just remember thinking like I couldn't, 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:42.480 like I did not want to go back. It was 0:18:42.520 --> 0:18:45.879 like but I remember I got, I got, I was 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:48.400 a pain in the ass you were. I don't even 0:18:48.400 --> 0:18:52.840 remember this, and I remember everything. I mean, he's always 0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:55.400 pissy when we leave Rhode Island. I know the days 0:18:55.640 --> 0:18:59.280 leading up to the flight back will it won't be 0:18:59.280 --> 0:19:02.400 in the best food. And then, like the first couple 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:04.679 of days in l A is an adjustment period. But 0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:07.639 for some reason, October doesn't strike me as one of 0:19:07.680 --> 0:19:12.160 those times. Specifically, I remember how I gave you an 0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:17.600 extra I gave you an extra week here. I mean 0:19:17.640 --> 0:19:20.080 we got married here. For Christ's sakes anymore, that is 0:19:20.119 --> 0:19:22.440 not a gift that I gave you. I this is 0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:25.439 just exactly what I imagine. All Right, you guys, You 0:19:25.480 --> 0:19:30.280 guys love the conversation about what's going on at It 0:19:30.280 --> 0:19:31.960 sounds like you're both tend out of ten. Jared, you 0:19:32.000 --> 0:19:34.359 have nothing to improve on, actually nothing to do provalent either. 0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:38.320 Here's one year down, a million more to go stoked 0:19:38.320 --> 0:19:40.480 for you guys. We do have to get to our guests. 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:42.920 We have to take just an idea for Amy and 0:19:42.920 --> 0:19:45.480 and the producers like, maybe it's a good idea to do. 0:19:45.520 --> 0:19:48.159 I help, I suck a dating one year Marriage podcast. 0:19:49.160 --> 0:19:51.320 I agree with that perhaps we can do that after 0:19:52.680 --> 0:19:55.800 the What women want or what a girl wants always 0:19:55.800 --> 0:19:58.479 has an opinion, doesn't she? All right, well, he used 0:19:58.520 --> 0:20:00.119 at the top of the podcast, We've got some great 0:20:00.160 --> 0:20:02.160 guests coming up. You are not gonna want to miss. 0:20:02.240 --> 0:20:05.520 It's Darcy and Stacy from ninety Day Fiance Before the 0:20:05.600 --> 0:20:08.720 ninety Days. We're gonna take one quick break. We're gonna 0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:11.280 chalk to them, and you're not gonna want to miss 0:20:11.359 --> 0:20:14.520 that conversation because I promise it's gonna be juicy, very interesting. 0:20:14.560 --> 0:20:28.560