WEBVTT - GECKMAIL: POLYAMOROUS BIRDS 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:03.920 Hello, Hi, what's up. Welcome to gek Mail. It is 0:00:04.000 --> 0:00:09.880 a show where I a Gecko, read mail and rant 0:00:09.920 --> 0:00:17.400 to myself. It's a lonely, desolate, single person podcast. Normally, 0:00:17.440 --> 0:00:20.360 on my podcast, I talk to other people, I talk 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:24.040 to strangers on the phone, and there's a back and forth, 0:00:24.120 --> 0:00:29.280 there's a dialogue. But here there's a monologue and I'm 0:00:29.320 --> 0:00:33.520 just gonna rant and read viewer mails. If you want 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:36.559 to send an email, you can send it to therapy 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:41.239 geckomail at gmail dot com. I just kinda keep a 0:00:41.400 --> 0:00:49.320 rolling a bunch of emails that I check. I really 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:52.239 like doing this version of the show. I've realized that 0:00:52.840 --> 0:00:57.320 I'm really I'm trying to have I think, the least 0:00:57.520 --> 0:01:03.360 controversial pod cast that exists. I want no hot takes. 0:01:05.360 --> 0:01:09.000 I want to talk as little as That's what I've 0:01:09.000 --> 0:01:11.280 been enjoying about the way that I normally do my 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:14.120 show is that I get to talk as little as possible. 0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:16.240 I just kind of get to sit there while other 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:19.880 people talk. And I don't know. I guess it's because 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:23.000 I don't want to say anything, because if you say 0:01:23.120 --> 0:01:25.400 stuff on the internet, people like get mad at you 0:01:25.480 --> 0:01:29.080 and stuff, and I don't know, that's a more peaceful 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:32.800 way to live. Not doing I really struggle with this. 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:39.840 Not doing anything or saying anything ever is definitely the 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:42.840 most peaceful way to go. It's definitely if you want 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:49.000 to maximize your peace of mind, you just throughout your 0:01:49.000 --> 0:01:56.600 life never do or say anything to anyone ever. That's 0:01:56.640 --> 0:01:59.480 the way to do it. And so that's what that's 0:01:59.520 --> 0:02:01.760 what I've It's kind of the train that I've been on. 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:04.960 It's maybe I should just stop doing things or saying things. 0:02:05.120 --> 0:02:07.120 But then again, I don't know what kind of life 0:02:07.200 --> 0:02:12.760 is that. That's a u pr version of yourself and 0:02:13.680 --> 0:02:21.640 you're kind of diluted down to nothing. But I don't know. 0:02:21.720 --> 0:02:24.880 I think the optimal way to live it's probably somewhere 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:29.240 within that. It's probably somewhere within saying stuff and not 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:32.639 saying anything. That's what I'm trying to figure out. I'm 0:02:32.680 --> 0:02:36.000 trying to figure out what's the optimal amount of things 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:39.200 to do and say. Where you're putting yourself out there, 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:42.120 you're putting you want to put yoursel me. This is 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:44.320 for just for me. I want to put myself out 0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:50.640 there just enough so that I can meaningfully so just 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:53.799 enough so that I can have like just meaningful enough 0:02:54.000 --> 0:03:00.680 of a life without being too vulnerable, that's all. It's 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:02.560 probably a stupid thing to do. Don't listen to anything 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:06.919 that I ever say. I'm go listen to fucking don't 0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:10.200 listen to anything anyone else ever says either. Never listen 0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:14.119 to anything. Everyone says, don't listen to this podcast. Don't 0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:20.000 listen to any other podcast. Go outside and just look 0:03:20.000 --> 0:03:25.560 at the sky and eat grilled chicken and then die. 0:03:25.760 --> 0:03:28.119 That's the final piece of advice I will ever give 0:03:28.960 --> 0:03:33.000 on this podcast. Ook or maybe not? Okay, all right, 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:35.120 let's read some view or mail, shall we? All right? 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:39.440 This one comes from Daniel and the subject line is urgent. 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:43.400 I know this isn't the best way to find out, 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:45.560 but I just wanted you to know that arch and 0:03:45.600 --> 0:03:52.080 nemesis Basketball Dan has passed away on May fifth of 0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:57.960 this year. What the fuck I am now? Just Dan? 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:03.800 Sometimes Daniel professionally, I love you, and I hope the 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:08.920 memory of Basketball Dan disappears from my memory because he's dead. Now, Okay, 0:04:09.000 --> 0:04:11.800 I'm not I don't have time to give context to this. 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:19.400 Let's do another one, all right, m yeah, yeah, okay, okay, 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:21.480 but no one died. I don't think I think this 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:24.760 is I think this guy Daniel used to be basketball 0:04:24.839 --> 0:04:30.400 Dan and now he's just Dan. So no one died. 0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:35.839 No one died, all right? This is from Odyssey subject line. 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:42.960 I tricked my ex friends into giving me ASMR hey 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:46.560 GEK So like this. One time last year, I randomly 0:04:46.600 --> 0:04:50.279 remembered the egg that my mom used to do when 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:53.320 I was little. What is the egg? It's where you 0:04:53.400 --> 0:04:56.920 tap on someone's kneecap a couple times with your fist 0:04:57.480 --> 0:05:01.800 and then spread your fingers and pushed lightly down on 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:04.800 their knee and it feels weird. So I did it 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:07.960 to my friend and he thought it was weird. So 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:10.440 it started this whole thing of us randomly doing it 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:13.040 to each other. But I think we all secretly liked 0:05:13.040 --> 0:05:15.520 it and didn't want each other to know. They have 0:05:15.640 --> 0:05:21.240 since become racist, and I moved States because nobody liked 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:24.560 me because I still hung out with them even though 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:29.320 they were racist, and I didn't realize until they learned slurs. Okay, 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:34.200 whoever wrote this email is probably in middle school. I 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:42.039 have no idea what this is, and I'm gonna read 0:05:42.080 --> 0:05:44.000 a different email. You know. What I've noticed is that 0:05:45.000 --> 0:05:47.279 here's another thing about Gekmel for those of you who 0:05:47.279 --> 0:05:50.440 listened to the whole show, is that I like, I'm 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:52.239 thinking about starting to do it once a week, because 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:56.440 you know, in the regular show where I'm talking to people, 0:05:56.560 --> 0:06:00.000 I think you guys can probably tell I'm a lot spicier, 0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:03.359 a lot of I'm a much spicier version of myself 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:08.599 in gek Mail. I think it's because, like, like, I 0:06:08.600 --> 0:06:10.640 don't wanna First of all, I don't really like get 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:13.720 off on being mean. I don't really like I don't 0:06:13.760 --> 0:06:17.839 want to be like a mean guy. But even if 0:06:17.960 --> 0:06:20.279 like I wanted to, It's like when you're when you 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:25.200 have feedback from another human being, it influences the way 0:06:25.200 --> 0:06:28.279 that you act. So like if somebody if I'm talking 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:31.040 to someone on the phone and they say something and 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:34.560 I think, in my head, that's really fucking stupid that 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:37.560 you just said that, I'm not gonna I'll think that 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:40.880 in my head and then I'll take a second to 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:46.200 take that thought and push it through a more filter, 0:06:46.320 --> 0:06:48.560 it through a more productive lens, because I don't I 0:06:48.600 --> 0:06:51.200 act genuinely in my soul. I don't think just saying 0:06:51.200 --> 0:06:55.000 to this person you're a fucking idiot is helpful. I 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:57.760 don't think it's helpful, so I filter it and I'm like, Okay, 0:06:57.760 --> 0:07:00.560 what's a helpful what's a more helpful thing to say. 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:02.240 I don't do that because I don't want to hurt 0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:04.039 their feelings. I do that because I want I want 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:06.640 if I'm having a conversation with this person, I want 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:11.920 to be genuinely helpful in that moment. But here I'm 0:07:12.000 --> 0:07:16.360 just a truly, truly, truly alone in a room, and 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:22.360 so saying that's fucking stupid is something I'm more likely 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:25.480 to say. But I also don't I also am I 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:31.160 also don't like that because I say and think and 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:36.400 do so many stupid things that I don't like being judgmental, 0:07:37.280 --> 0:07:39.240 I know for a lot of reasons, but one of 0:07:39.240 --> 0:07:42.320 them just being that any judgment I could make upon 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:45.640 someone else, they could easily make on me. So with 0:07:45.680 --> 0:07:47.800 the why am I? Who am I to sit on 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:52.080 my podcast and call someone say that someone is stupid? 0:07:53.840 --> 0:07:58.560 But then again, it's cathartic, it feels good. That's the 0:07:58.680 --> 0:08:03.000 problem with judgment. I genuinely think we live in a 0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:06.640 very judgmental society and it's a problem, but we do. 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:09.600 We live in this judgmental society because it feels so 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:13.920 good to call someone a fucking idiot. It really like 0:08:14.400 --> 0:08:20.960 something in the central nervous system that dopamine just gets released. 0:08:22.000 --> 0:08:24.640 But this, you know, same thing happens when you do heroin. 0:08:25.240 --> 0:08:28.120 So I don't know. I'm gonna I'm let's just let's 0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:33.480 keep reading emails and I'm just gonna keep saying stuff. Okay. 0:08:35.040 --> 0:08:40.920 This is from Stephen, subject line, A question on my mind, 0:08:41.480 --> 0:08:52.280 Dear therapy Gecko. Is everything one thing? Sincerely, Steve. Okay, 0:08:53.760 --> 0:08:57.360 I was about to say no, everything are different things, 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:03.880 but now I'm thinking about it because if everything, because 0:09:03.960 --> 0:09:09.920 a group of things, could be considered one thing, Like 0:09:10.000 --> 0:09:15.000 if you have a bag of stones, the bag is 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:22.360 one thing, but all the stones are several things. Okay, 0:09:22.720 --> 0:09:24.800 So by that logic, I'm gonna say, if you put 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:28.800 everything in a bag, it would be one thing. But 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:33.640 everything on its own is a combination of a bunch 0:09:33.720 --> 0:09:35.200 of things, so if you put it in a bag, 0:09:35.200 --> 0:09:49.080 it's one thing. Okay. This is from Mario. Subject line, 0:09:49.240 --> 0:09:54.320 I'm in love with a Polly, but I'm mono. Hello, 0:09:54.400 --> 0:09:57.800 mister Ghek, I have strong feelings for a girl that 0:09:57.960 --> 0:10:01.040 is Polly she was in an open relationship, but she 0:10:01.200 --> 0:10:03.800 ended it a couple months ago. That's when she started 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:07.600 dating me. She told me from the beginning that she 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:11.640 is Polly, but I was really drunk and I didn't 0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:14.320 think much of it. We've been dating for three to 0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:16.880 four months. I chose to take a break from her 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:20.480 because I was getting really overwhelmed and insecure. She says 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:23.760 she has strong feelings for me too, but I've began 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:28.040 to develop trust issues. I start therapy tomorrow because of 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:30.680 this and other things. There's more to the story, but 0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:33.440 I'm trying to keep it short. What are your thoughts 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:38.840 on this and what I should do? Best regards Ben, ps, 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:46.480 don't use my real name. Just say Ben please? All right? Well, okay, 0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:49.560 from now on, if you want me to use your 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:51.920 real to not use your real name, email me from 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:55.760 an account that is that doesn't have your real name 0:10:56.040 --> 0:10:58.839 in it, or say it, or say to use a 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:01.360 fake name in the beginning of the email and not 0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:03.200 in the end of the email. Because if you say, 0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:10.959 if you don't, all right, what should you do? Well? Ah, 0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:15.080 here's the thing is, if you this girl being Polly, 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:18.640 this seems to be a this seems to be a 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:24.439 fundamental thing about the way that this girl views her 0:11:24.480 --> 0:11:29.760 relationships and wants to live. And I chose to take 0:11:29.760 --> 0:11:35.960 a break of because because being really insecure, are you well, 0:11:36.000 --> 0:11:38.080 I mean, what's your feelings about Polly? Because you don't 0:11:38.320 --> 0:11:42.200 I think the idea of you forcing yourself into a 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:49.720 polyamorous relationship just because you like this girl, I don't 0:11:50.480 --> 0:11:53.520 know if I I don't know if that's a good idea, 0:11:54.120 --> 0:12:00.640 because that's like a very fundamental value that is off 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:04.120 between you two. We've been doating for three or four months, 0:12:04.120 --> 0:12:07.120 so I'm curious what those three four months have been like. 0:12:08.400 --> 0:12:14.280 So I would say, what should you do? Oh, well, 0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:16.199 you can't ask her to not Here's the thing. I 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:19.520 don't think you could ask her to be monogamous with you, 0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:22.280 And I don't think you could ask yourself to be 0:12:22.360 --> 0:12:28.920 polyamorous with her. If you really really wanted to, you 0:12:29.080 --> 0:12:33.280 could start dating other girls and see how you feel. 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:36.920 But I did, You're not. I'm not even getting a 0:12:37.000 --> 0:12:42.679 sense that you want to do that. So that that's 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:44.920 all I would say is that you can't just in 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:46.480 just in the way that I would say that you 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:49.880 can't force this girl to be monogamous you can't force 0:12:49.920 --> 0:12:57.120 yourself to be polyamorous. And uh and next time, if 0:12:57.160 --> 0:12:58.960 you have a fake dame, put it in the top 0:12:59.000 --> 0:13:01.000 of the email, not the front. What's the chat think? 0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:04.040 Let's see someone in this Someone in the chat says 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:08.000 I had this exact scenario. I accepted it to begin with, 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:10.040 but it was the worst few months of my life. 0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:12.960 We ended it eventually, and it was the best decision 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:17.320 I made to split up. Well, there we go. Someone said, 0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:22.960 what's a polly? All right, let's see here. This is 0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:28.280 from Georgia. Subject line is roller coasters. Hi, Gek, I 0:13:28.280 --> 0:13:30.680 met you in Manchester last year and we had a 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:33.640 great talk about roller coasters. Thank you for taking the 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:36.640 time to indulge me. I wanted to share that I 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:40.480 finally reached my dream of being a roller coaster engineer 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:44.720 and I design new ride systems. Now that's awesome. I'm 0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:47.600 not gonna lie. I've never experienced a greater existential crisis 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:49.400 because I no longer have a goal to strive for 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:52.320 that powers me through the burdens of life. I only 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:54.719 ever dreamed of getting the job, but I never thought 0:13:54.760 --> 0:13:56.760 about after because I really didn't think I would get 0:13:56.760 --> 0:13:59.360 this far. My job is fucking cool. Though, What do 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:04.559 I do to find purpose? Again? Thanks Georgia, this is 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:08.840 a fascinating query. First of all, congrats on becoming a 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:12.640 real life roller coaster tycoon. That's awesome. This is something 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:18.600 I'm struggling with myself. I mean, I have other goals. 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:21.320 My goal now is to get jacked, which I don't 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:24.640 actually like talking about on the podcast because I think 0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:27.320 you get a little hitted. You're a little hitted dopamine 0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:29.760 or whatever every time you tell someone your goals, and 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:31.400 then that kind of makes you want to do them less. 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:34.600 But whatever, I'm getting jack, it's happening anyway. Enough about me, 0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:39.400 What do I do to find purpose? Again? Well, well, 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:44.560 don't don't you find purpose in doing the job? Do 0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:48.680 you not have a roller coaster that you've been dreaming 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:53.080 up in your brain that you want to do? Can 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:56.880 you not? Like? Are you like I want to make 0:14:56.920 --> 0:15:01.600 a triple loop, de loop or dupe and eventually get there? 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:04.960 What's a roller coaster tycoon's career path look like? Oh, 0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:09.640 but you open up your own roller coaster, a kid 0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:12.520 dies on one of your things, and you go bankrupt. 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:16.000 That could be you. You could have something. I'm just 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:19.320 saying you will have more events happen in your life. 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:22.120 You know, what do I do to find purpose? Again? 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:29.800 Do you have any friends? Friends provide purpose? Uh? Yeah, 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:33.280 I guess I would say. I guess I would say 0:15:33.280 --> 0:15:40.200 that you can get into Ferris Wheels. Maybe why don't 0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:44.560 you you design new rises? And now doesn't? Okay, So 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:46.480 here's what I here's the thing as a roller coaster 0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:52.000 engineer and you're constantly making new roller coasters. Isn't each 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:55.400 roller coaster in and of itself a goal? Isn't each 0:15:55.520 --> 0:16:04.840 project present itself with a goal? Because the purpose it's 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:07.400 like it's like when you get like like when comedians 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:13.160 get Saturday Night Live, right, and like getting Saturday Night Live. 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:18.080 Getting the roller coaster engineer job wasn't the hard part. 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:20.040 The hard part is now that you're in the role, 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:22.720 how are you You gotta get your sketches on the air? 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:25.920 You got your roller coasters in Disneyland or however the 0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:28.920 fuck that works? And so why don't you just focus 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:32.800 on thriving within the job Once you don't. I don't 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:35.880 know how old you are, but once you see what 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:38.560 other ever, you know the people you work with who 0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:40.280 are in their fifties or whatever. What are they doing? 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:44.160 Can you ascribe to that? And then you just keep 0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:51.640 ascribing to new heights and purposes and achieving goals and 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:56.600 then you die and it's great. That was really sad. 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:00.680 I've I think I've been feeling excess essential lately, and 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:04.159 it's bleeding into everything that I do. I'm really trying 0:17:04.160 --> 0:17:06.760 to find, you know, Georgia, I'm trying to find purpose again. 0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:12.000 It's depressing. I'm like, see, I'm like talking to people, 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:14.240 not on the show, but just in real life, Like 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:20.760 I I I'll talk to someone. I think I told, 0:17:20.760 --> 0:17:22.280 I think I did I tell. I think I told 0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:24.439 the story already of how I was going to ride 0:17:24.480 --> 0:17:26.679 a roller coaster, and then I didn't because I was like, oh, 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:28.560 it's just gonna be over. That's that happens, not with 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:31.400 people now. Like I'll be at a bar and I'm 0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:36.000 talking to someone and I'll be like, I don't why 0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:41.879 am I talking to you right now? It's it's it's exhausting, 0:17:42.920 --> 0:17:46.800 and I don't know if I'm never going to see 0:17:46.800 --> 0:17:50.760 you again. Don't don't let don't let any of this 0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:53.800 happen to you, Georgia, Georgia, you know what Georgia, Please, 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:58.800 dear God, you're don't don't let don't let yourself become 0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:07.160 existential and crazy. Find joy in the little things. Move 0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:12.520 on to Ferris Wheels. Ferris Wheels are good too. What's 0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:17.520 the chat say? Someone said, that's just your midlife crisis 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:21.280 talking GHEK. Well, I'm about I'm twenty seven, so hopefully 0:18:21.359 --> 0:18:26.000 I don't die at the age of fifty two. I 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:34.720 think that math sounds right. Someone said, yeah, a bunch 0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:37.280 of people are saying, that's just depression. Is that depression? 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:47.320 Oh shit? All right, maybe I'm depressed. All right, Well, okay, 0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:55.800 well that's fine. All right. This is from Tucker. Subject line, Lyle, 0:18:55.880 --> 0:19:00.440 I need your sage wisdom. Tucker says, Lyle, you're such 0:19:00.440 --> 0:19:03.560 a model of men's health. Are there any tips you 0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:07.159 can share for losing weight? I think listening to you 0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:09.000 has made me a better person. Thank you for being you. 0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:12.560 I truly hope, I hope you are truly being you. 0:19:14.280 --> 0:19:18.800 Thank you Tucker for asking me how to lose weight, 0:19:19.440 --> 0:19:23.960 even though I am probably about forty pounds overweight, but 0:19:24.040 --> 0:19:27.000 I'm trying. I'm actually act genuinely I'm yeah, fuck it, 0:19:27.000 --> 0:19:29.000 I'm just gonna I said, I was gonna talk about 0:19:29.000 --> 0:19:33.040 it on the top ry the thing now. So so 0:19:33.280 --> 0:19:35.680 I've been doing the Gecko for like four and a 0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:38.160 half years, and for those four and a half years, 0:19:38.240 --> 0:19:40.680 I really I was looking at a picture of myself 0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:43.080 when I first started, and I was really skinny. And 0:19:44.119 --> 0:19:45.399 over the four and a half years that I was 0:19:45.400 --> 0:19:50.800 doing Gecko, nothing in my life mattered to me other 0:19:50.960 --> 0:19:55.439 than being a gecko on the internet, you know, trying 0:19:55.440 --> 0:20:00.560 to be Internet famous, trying to you know, get people 0:20:00.600 --> 0:20:03.080 to listen to my show, you know, making sure I 0:20:03.160 --> 0:20:07.320 upload three clips a week, streaming and clipping and and 0:20:07.320 --> 0:20:10.439 and selling tickets to my tour, and doing my tour, 0:20:10.800 --> 0:20:15.040 and and and traveling all around and and and embracing 0:20:15.080 --> 0:20:17.639 a life of novelty and this and that and the 0:20:17.680 --> 0:20:21.480 other thing, and just every everything career wise and novelty 0:20:21.520 --> 0:20:26.440 wise mattered to me, and uh way more than my health. 0:20:26.480 --> 0:20:28.879 And as a result, they gained like fifty pounds something 0:20:28.880 --> 0:20:35.280 crazy like that. And now that I've gotten to a 0:20:35.320 --> 0:20:38.919 point with this show where I'm like, if the amount 0:20:38.960 --> 0:20:41.040 of people that currently listen to this is the same 0:20:41.040 --> 0:20:43.120 amount of people that currently listen to it for as 0:20:43.160 --> 0:20:49.440 long as it exists. I'm so happy about that. And 0:20:50.960 --> 0:20:55.200 I have successfully completed two and a half tours around 0:20:55.200 --> 0:21:02.600 the world. And so my my draw for more and 0:21:02.640 --> 0:21:05.320 more and more and more and more of that is 0:21:06.240 --> 0:21:11.200 a dissipating and now my drive is like fucking the 0:21:12.000 --> 0:21:15.520 counting calories and going to the gym and all that stuff, 0:21:15.600 --> 0:21:18.840 and like that's what I really care about the most 0:21:18.920 --> 0:21:23.520 right now is doing that stuff. And I mean tips 0:21:23.560 --> 0:21:27.639 for losing weight. I don't know. I'm like, I'm fasting 0:21:28.880 --> 0:21:32.520 and exercising. That's it. That's all you do is you'd 0:21:32.560 --> 0:21:37.400 eat less and you go to the gym and hopefully 0:21:37.520 --> 0:21:42.320 it makes you better. But I guess caring any tips 0:21:42.400 --> 0:21:45.600 you can share for losing weight giving caring, the only 0:21:45.640 --> 0:21:48.879 time I ever lost weight is when I cared about 0:21:49.000 --> 0:21:55.680 losing weight. All the other times, well, you know, that's 0:21:55.720 --> 0:21:58.480 the tip on how to do anything. You can apply 0:21:58.520 --> 0:22:01.760 that to anything. Anything that you you actually genuinely care 0:22:01.840 --> 0:22:05.119 about doing, you'll do. And then the stuff that you don't, 0:22:05.400 --> 0:22:08.640 the stuff that you don't really care about and you're 0:22:08.760 --> 0:22:13.040 subconscious will tell you what you actually care about. You 0:22:13.080 --> 0:22:18.199 can consciously pretend like you care about certain things, but 0:22:18.560 --> 0:22:22.480 your actions throughout your life will tell you what you 0:22:22.520 --> 0:22:25.320 actually care about, and so just I don't know, and 0:22:25.400 --> 0:22:26.919 pay attention to what you care about. And if you 0:22:26.920 --> 0:22:33.000 give a shit about losing weight, then you know, eat 0:22:33.119 --> 0:22:37.120 less and move more and then you'll lose weight. I'll 0:22:37.160 --> 0:22:43.160 let you know if it works for me. So one said, 0:22:43.160 --> 0:22:46.160 I've lost thirty months. I've lost thirty pounds in three 0:22:46.240 --> 0:22:49.560 months and I eat tons and tons of low calorie foods. 0:22:49.720 --> 0:22:53.320 Is thirty pounds in three month? Three months? Is that healthy? 0:22:53.440 --> 0:23:00.679 I don't know. This is not the This is not 0:23:02.440 --> 0:23:05.240 the what's the name of that go to? That guy's name? 0:23:08.920 --> 0:23:13.720 Andrew Huberman is not the Andrew Human podcast. But I 0:23:13.760 --> 0:23:20.920 don't know anyway, Okay, uh okay, please, okay. This person 0:23:20.960 --> 0:23:26.080 wrote don't name me? All right, I'm gonna call you. You 0:23:25.200 --> 0:23:27.320 know what. Here's what bothers me, though, is that some 0:23:27.359 --> 0:23:30.239 of these people like I'll get a fucking email from 0:23:30.280 --> 0:23:33.320 a guy named Brian and he's like, please don't name me, 0:23:33.440 --> 0:23:35.399 And I'm like, you, you know, how many Brian How 0:23:35.400 --> 0:23:37.960 many Brian's are I'm gonna google this right now. How 0:23:37.960 --> 0:23:52.919 many people named Brian Brian are alive in the world? Okay? 0:23:53.480 --> 0:23:56.080 Wick up? Google says there's not much information about how 0:23:56.080 --> 0:23:57.880 many people named Brian are alive in the world. Okay, 0:23:57.880 --> 0:23:59.040 all right, anyway, I was trying to make a point. 0:23:59.040 --> 0:24:02.200 Who cares, I'm gonna read this guy, Okay, high gek. 0:24:03.480 --> 0:24:06.399 I've been thinking about a moral dilemma I experienced a 0:24:06.440 --> 0:24:09.080 couple of years ago. I work a job that sometimes 0:24:09.080 --> 0:24:15.720 involves animals, birds, lizards, bees, and sometimes rabbits. I save 0:24:15.800 --> 0:24:18.160 them whenever I can, but most of the time they're 0:24:18.160 --> 0:24:22.480 dead before I arrive. I have saved one pigeon and 0:24:22.600 --> 0:24:26.280 close to one hundred bees and a couple of lizards. 0:24:26.880 --> 0:24:30.280 One day, I found a pigeon in shock, bleeding with 0:24:30.320 --> 0:24:33.119 a broken wing. I wasn't sure what to do. I 0:24:33.200 --> 0:24:38.119 googled what happens to birds with broken wings or birds 0:24:38.160 --> 0:24:40.440 in shock, and I read that they almost always die. 0:24:40.840 --> 0:24:43.600 I didn't think an animal sanctuary would take a pigeon, 0:24:43.640 --> 0:24:46.200 as most people consider pigeons to be rats of the sky. 0:24:46.640 --> 0:24:48.439 I wanted to put it out of its misery, but 0:24:48.480 --> 0:24:49.960 I didn't have a lot to work with, and I 0:24:49.960 --> 0:24:53.119 couldn't leave it in the customer's backyard. I ended up 0:24:53.160 --> 0:24:56.879 taking a brick from the bed of my truck and 0:24:57.000 --> 0:25:02.280 dropping it on the pigeon's head. It broke its neck immediately, 0:25:02.359 --> 0:25:04.680 and the bird seemed to have one second of pain 0:25:04.800 --> 0:25:08.159 as it freaked out, but then went limp. I genuinely 0:25:08.160 --> 0:25:11.040 feel terrible, but I thought a bird with a broken 0:25:11.080 --> 0:25:13.560 wing and in shocks should probably be put down. What 0:25:13.560 --> 0:25:15.480 would you have done in my situation? Am I a 0:25:15.480 --> 0:25:20.679 bad person? Cheers? Wow? Well, I don't think you're a 0:25:20.720 --> 0:25:24.720 bad person, Brian, because you're correct that most people consider 0:25:24.800 --> 0:25:28.600 pigeons they're acts of the sky. And I live in 0:25:28.640 --> 0:25:31.880 New York, and if a pigeon with a broken wing 0:25:32.359 --> 0:25:36.800 was writhing on the side of a sidewalk, hundreds and one, 0:25:36.840 --> 0:25:42.440 hundreds and hundreds and truly hundreds of people would walk by, 0:25:43.520 --> 0:25:48.239 not even noticing that pigeon. So you're at least a 0:25:48.240 --> 0:25:56.760 better person than all of those theoretical people. Shit, man, 0:25:57.760 --> 0:26:00.080 I don't know a bit. That's a tough situation for 0:26:00.119 --> 0:26:02.879 you to be in. That's a tough situation for you 0:26:02.920 --> 0:26:05.040 to be in, because what were your other right what 0:26:05.080 --> 0:26:08.520 were your other options? It's like an animal sanctuary. You're right, 0:26:08.640 --> 0:26:12.879 is probably not gonna take a pigeon. You could have 0:26:12.960 --> 0:26:15.040 just walked away, But then the pigeon would have just 0:26:15.040 --> 0:26:18.520 suffered and died. Uh, you don't. I don't assume you 0:26:18.560 --> 0:26:24.960 know how to do surgery on a pigeon. It's probably true. 0:26:25.200 --> 0:26:27.520 I'm gonna you know, let me google this. What happens 0:26:27.560 --> 0:26:34.200 to birds with broken wings or birds in shock. Let's 0:26:34.240 --> 0:26:39.480 see here. Birds go into shock very easily when injured 0:26:39.480 --> 0:26:47.160 and often die from shock. Yeah, yeah that, yeah, yeah, 0:26:47.160 --> 0:26:49.280 I know. I'm googling this too. That bird, that bird 0:26:49.359 --> 0:26:58.040 was fucked. That bird was very fucked. Yeah, that bird 0:26:58.080 --> 0:27:01.000 was gonna die if you walked away, and uh, there 0:27:01.040 --> 0:27:05.480 was no real way to do anything. So yeah, you 0:27:05.520 --> 0:27:09.399 put that you you had to be the executioner. I 0:27:09.440 --> 0:27:12.359 don't know why our Lord put you in that situation 0:27:13.119 --> 0:27:16.560 where you had to put down that bird, But I 0:27:16.600 --> 0:27:19.960 don't know if I can. I even think the fact 0:27:19.960 --> 0:27:22.720