Speaker 1: Hello, Hi, what's up. Welcome to gek Mail. It is
Speaker 1: a show where I a Gecko, read mail and rant
Speaker 1: to myself. It's a lonely, desolate, single person podcast. Normally,
Speaker 1: on my podcast, I talk to other people, I talk
Speaker 1: to strangers on the phone, and there's a back and forth,
Speaker 1: there's a dialogue. But here there's a monologue and I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna rant and read viewer mails. If you want
Speaker 1: to send an email, you can send it to therapy
Speaker 1: geckomail at gmail dot com. I just kinda keep a
Speaker 1: rolling a bunch of emails that I check. I really
Speaker 1: like doing this version of the show. I've realized that
Speaker 1: I'm really I'm trying to have I think, the least
Speaker 1: controversial pod cast that exists. I want no hot takes.
Speaker 1: I want to talk as little as That's what I've
Speaker 1: been enjoying about the way that I normally do my
Speaker 1: show is that I get to talk as little as possible.
Speaker 1: I just kind of get to sit there while other
Speaker 1: people talk. And I don't know. I guess it's because
Speaker 1: I don't want to say anything, because if you say
Speaker 1: stuff on the internet, people like get mad at you
Speaker 1: and stuff, and I don't know, that's a more peaceful
Speaker 1: way to live. Not doing I really struggle with this.
Speaker 1: Not doing anything or saying anything ever is definitely the
Speaker 1: most peaceful way to go. It's definitely if you want
Speaker 1: to maximize your peace of mind, you just throughout your
Speaker 1: life never do or say anything to anyone ever. That's
Speaker 1: the way to do it. And so that's what that's
Speaker 1: what I've It's kind of the train that I've been on.
Speaker 1: It's maybe I should just stop doing things or saying things.
Speaker 1: But then again, I don't know what kind of life
Speaker 1: is that. That's a u pr version of yourself and
Speaker 1: you're kind of diluted down to nothing. But I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think the optimal way to live it's probably somewhere
Speaker 1: within that. It's probably somewhere within saying stuff and not
Speaker 1: saying anything. That's what I'm trying to figure out. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to figure out what's the optimal amount of things
Speaker 1: to do and say. Where you're putting yourself out there,
Speaker 1: you're putting you want to put yoursel me. This is
Speaker 1: for just for me. I want to put myself out
Speaker 1: there just enough so that I can meaningfully so just
Speaker 1: enough so that I can have like just meaningful enough
Speaker 1: of a life without being too vulnerable, that's all. It's
Speaker 1: probably a stupid thing to do. Don't listen to anything
Speaker 1: that I ever say. I'm go listen to fucking don't
Speaker 1: listen to anything anyone else ever says either. Never listen
Speaker 1: to anything. Everyone says, don't listen to this podcast. Don't
Speaker 1: listen to any other podcast. Go outside and just look
Speaker 1: at the sky and eat grilled chicken and then die.
Speaker 1: That's the final piece of advice I will ever give
Speaker 1: on this podcast. Ook or maybe not? Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: let's read some view or mail, shall we? All right?
Speaker 1: This one comes from Daniel and the subject line is urgent.
Speaker 1: I know this isn't the best way to find out,
Speaker 1: but I just wanted you to know that arch and
Speaker 1: nemesis Basketball Dan has passed away on May fifth of
Speaker 1: this year. What the fuck I am now? Just Dan?
Speaker 1: Sometimes Daniel professionally, I love you, and I hope the
Speaker 1: memory of Basketball Dan disappears from my memory because he's dead. Now, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not I don't have time to give context to this.
Speaker 1: Let's do another one, all right, m yeah, yeah, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: but no one died. I don't think I think this
Speaker 1: is I think this guy Daniel used to be basketball
Speaker 1: Dan and now he's just Dan. So no one died.
Speaker 1: No one died, all right? This is from Odyssey subject line.
Speaker 1: I tricked my ex friends into giving me ASMR hey
Speaker 1: GEK So like this. One time last year, I randomly
Speaker 1: remembered the egg that my mom used to do when
Speaker 1: I was little. What is the egg? It's where you
Speaker 1: tap on someone's kneecap a couple times with your fist
Speaker 1: and then spread your fingers and pushed lightly down on
Speaker 1: their knee and it feels weird. So I did it
Speaker 1: to my friend and he thought it was weird. So
Speaker 1: it started this whole thing of us randomly doing it
Speaker 1: to each other. But I think we all secretly liked
Speaker 1: it and didn't want each other to know. They have
Speaker 1: since become racist, and I moved States because nobody liked
Speaker 1: me because I still hung out with them even though
Speaker 1: they were racist, and I didn't realize until they learned slurs. Okay,
Speaker 1: whoever wrote this email is probably in middle school. I
Speaker 1: have no idea what this is, and I'm gonna read
Speaker 1: a different email. You know. What I've noticed is that
Speaker 1: here's another thing about Gekmel for those of you who
Speaker 1: listened to the whole show, is that I like, I'm
Speaker 1: thinking about starting to do it once a week, because
Speaker 1: you know, in the regular show where I'm talking to people,
Speaker 1: I think you guys can probably tell I'm a lot spicier,
Speaker 1: a lot of I'm a much spicier version of myself
Speaker 1: in gek Mail. I think it's because, like, like, I
Speaker 1: don't wanna First of all, I don't really like get
Speaker 1: off on being mean. I don't really like I don't
Speaker 1: want to be like a mean guy. But even if
Speaker 1: like I wanted to, It's like when you're when you
Speaker 1: have feedback from another human being, it influences the way
Speaker 1: that you act. So like if somebody if I'm talking
Speaker 1: to someone on the phone and they say something and
Speaker 1: I think, in my head, that's really fucking stupid that
Speaker 1: you just said that, I'm not gonna I'll think that
Speaker 1: in my head and then I'll take a second to
Speaker 1: take that thought and push it through a more filter,
Speaker 1: it through a more productive lens, because I don't I
Speaker 1: act genuinely in my soul. I don't think just saying
Speaker 1: to this person you're a fucking idiot is helpful. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's helpful, so I filter it and I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: what's a helpful what's a more helpful thing to say.
Speaker 1: I don't do that because I don't want to hurt
Speaker 1: their feelings. I do that because I want I want
Speaker 1: if I'm having a conversation with this person, I want
Speaker 1: to be genuinely helpful in that moment. But here I'm
Speaker 1: just a truly, truly, truly alone in a room, and
Speaker 1: so saying that's fucking stupid is something I'm more likely
Speaker 1: to say. But I also don't I also am I
Speaker 1: also don't like that because I say and think and
Speaker 1: do so many stupid things that I don't like being judgmental,
Speaker 1: I know for a lot of reasons, but one of
Speaker 1: them just being that any judgment I could make upon
Speaker 1: someone else, they could easily make on me. So with
Speaker 1: the why am I? Who am I to sit on
Speaker 1: my podcast and call someone say that someone is stupid?
Speaker 1: But then again, it's cathartic, it feels good. That's the
Speaker 1: problem with judgment. I genuinely think we live in a
Speaker 1: very judgmental society and it's a problem, but we do.
Speaker 1: We live in this judgmental society because it feels so
Speaker 1: good to call someone a fucking idiot. It really like
Speaker 1: something in the central nervous system that dopamine just gets released.
Speaker 1: But this, you know, same thing happens when you do heroin.
Speaker 1: So I don't know. I'm gonna I'm let's just let's
Speaker 1: keep reading emails and I'm just gonna keep saying stuff. Okay.
Speaker 1: This is from Stephen, subject line, A question on my mind,
Speaker 1: Dear therapy Gecko. Is everything one thing? Sincerely, Steve. Okay,
Speaker 1: I was about to say no, everything are different things,
Speaker 1: but now I'm thinking about it because if everything, because
Speaker 1: a group of things, could be considered one thing, Like
Speaker 1: if you have a bag of stones, the bag is
Speaker 1: one thing, but all the stones are several things. Okay,
Speaker 1: So by that logic, I'm gonna say, if you put
Speaker 1: everything in a bag, it would be one thing. But
Speaker 1: everything on its own is a combination of a bunch
Speaker 1: of things, so if you put it in a bag,
Speaker 1: it's one thing. Okay. This is from Mario. Subject line,
Speaker 1: I'm in love with a Polly, but I'm mono. Hello,
Speaker 1: mister Ghek, I have strong feelings for a girl that
Speaker 1: is Polly she was in an open relationship, but she
Speaker 1: ended it a couple months ago. That's when she started
Speaker 1: dating me. She told me from the beginning that she
Speaker 1: is Polly, but I was really drunk and I didn't
Speaker 1: think much of it. We've been dating for three to
Speaker 1: four months. I chose to take a break from her
Speaker 1: because I was getting really overwhelmed and insecure. She says
Speaker 1: she has strong feelings for me too, but I've began
Speaker 1: to develop trust issues. I start therapy tomorrow because of
Speaker 1: this and other things. There's more to the story, but
Speaker 1: I'm trying to keep it short. What are your thoughts
Speaker 1: on this and what I should do? Best regards Ben, ps,
Speaker 1: don't use my real name. Just say Ben please? All right? Well, okay,
Speaker 1: from now on, if you want me to use your
Speaker 1: real to not use your real name, email me from
Speaker 1: an account that is that doesn't have your real name
Speaker 1: in it, or say it, or say to use a
Speaker 1: fake name in the beginning of the email and not
Speaker 1: in the end of the email. Because if you say,
Speaker 1: if you don't, all right, what should you do? Well? Ah,
Speaker 1: here's the thing is, if you this girl being Polly,
Speaker 1: this seems to be a this seems to be a
Speaker 1: fundamental thing about the way that this girl views her
Speaker 1: relationships and wants to live. And I chose to take
Speaker 1: a break of because because being really insecure, are you well,
Speaker 1: I mean, what's your feelings about Polly? Because you don't
Speaker 1: I think the idea of you forcing yourself into a
Speaker 1: polyamorous relationship just because you like this girl, I don't
Speaker 1: know if I I don't know if that's a good idea,
Speaker 1: because that's like a very fundamental value that is off
Speaker 1: between you two. We've been doating for three or four months,
Speaker 1: so I'm curious what those three four months have been like.
Speaker 1: So I would say, what should you do? Oh, well,
Speaker 1: you can't ask her to not Here's the thing. I
Speaker 1: don't think you could ask her to be monogamous with you,
Speaker 1: And I don't think you could ask yourself to be
Speaker 1: polyamorous with her. If you really really wanted to, you
Speaker 1: could start dating other girls and see how you feel.
Speaker 1: But I did, You're not. I'm not even getting a
Speaker 1: sense that you want to do that. So that that's
Speaker 1: all I would say is that you can't just in
Speaker 1: just in the way that I would say that you
Speaker 1: can't force this girl to be monogamous you can't force
Speaker 1: yourself to be polyamorous. And uh and next time, if
Speaker 1: you have a fake dame, put it in the top
Speaker 1: of the email, not the front. What's the chat think?
Speaker 1: Let's see someone in this Someone in the chat says
Speaker 1: I had this exact scenario. I accepted it to begin with,
Speaker 1: but it was the worst few months of my life.
Speaker 1: We ended it eventually, and it was the best decision
Speaker 1: I made to split up. Well, there we go. Someone said,
Speaker 1: what's a polly? All right, let's see here. This is
Speaker 1: from Georgia. Subject line is roller coasters. Hi, Gek, I
Speaker 1: met you in Manchester last year and we had a
Speaker 1: great talk about roller coasters. Thank you for taking the
Speaker 1: time to indulge me. I wanted to share that I
Speaker 1: finally reached my dream of being a roller coaster engineer
Speaker 1: and I design new ride systems. Now that's awesome. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. I've never experienced a greater existential crisis
Speaker 1: because I no longer have a goal to strive for
Speaker 1: that powers me through the burdens of life. I only
Speaker 1: ever dreamed of getting the job, but I never thought
Speaker 1: about after because I really didn't think I would get
Speaker 1: this far. My job is fucking cool. Though, What do
Speaker 1: I do to find purpose? Again? Thanks Georgia, this is
Speaker 1: a fascinating query. First of all, congrats on becoming a
Speaker 1: real life roller coaster tycoon. That's awesome. This is something
Speaker 1: I'm struggling with myself. I mean, I have other goals.
Speaker 1: My goal now is to get jacked, which I don't
Speaker 1: actually like talking about on the podcast because I think
Speaker 1: you get a little hitted. You're a little hitted dopamine
Speaker 1: or whatever every time you tell someone your goals, and
Speaker 1: then that kind of makes you want to do them less.
Speaker 1: But whatever, I'm getting jack, it's happening anyway. Enough about me,
Speaker 1: What do I do to find purpose? Again? Well, well,
Speaker 1: don't don't you find purpose in doing the job? Do
Speaker 1: you not have a roller coaster that you've been dreaming
Speaker 1: up in your brain that you want to do? Can
Speaker 1: you not? Like? Are you like I want to make
Speaker 1: a triple loop, de loop or dupe and eventually get there?
Speaker 1: What's a roller coaster tycoon's career path look like? Oh,
Speaker 1: but you open up your own roller coaster, a kid
Speaker 1: dies on one of your things, and you go bankrupt.
Speaker 1: That could be you. You could have something. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying you will have more events happen in your life.
Speaker 1: You know, what do I do to find purpose? Again?
Speaker 1: Do you have any friends? Friends provide purpose? Uh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess I would say. I guess I would say
Speaker 1: that you can get into Ferris Wheels. Maybe why don't
Speaker 1: you you design new rises? And now doesn't? Okay, So
Speaker 1: here's what I here's the thing as a roller coaster
Speaker 1: engineer and you're constantly making new roller coasters. Isn't each
Speaker 1: roller coaster in and of itself a goal? Isn't each
Speaker 1: project present itself with a goal? Because the purpose it's
Speaker 1: like it's like when you get like like when comedians
Speaker 1: get Saturday Night Live, right, and like getting Saturday Night Live.
Speaker 1: Getting the roller coaster engineer job wasn't the hard part.
Speaker 1: The hard part is now that you're in the role,
Speaker 1: how are you You gotta get your sketches on the air?
Speaker 1: You got your roller coasters in Disneyland or however the
Speaker 1: fuck that works? And so why don't you just focus
Speaker 1: on thriving within the job Once you don't. I don't
Speaker 1: know how old you are, but once you see what
Speaker 1: other ever, you know the people you work with who
Speaker 1: are in their fifties or whatever. What are they doing?
Speaker 1: Can you ascribe to that? And then you just keep
Speaker 1: ascribing to new heights and purposes and achieving goals and
Speaker 1: then you die and it's great. That was really sad.
Speaker 1: I've I think I've been feeling excess essential lately, and
Speaker 1: it's bleeding into everything that I do. I'm really trying
Speaker 1: to find, you know, Georgia, I'm trying to find purpose again.
Speaker 1: It's depressing. I'm like, see, I'm like talking to people,
Speaker 1: not on the show, but just in real life, Like
Speaker 1: I I I'll talk to someone. I think I told,
Speaker 1: I think I did I tell. I think I told
Speaker 1: the story already of how I was going to ride
Speaker 1: a roller coaster, and then I didn't because I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's just gonna be over. That's that happens, not with
Speaker 1: people now. Like I'll be at a bar and I'm
Speaker 1: talking to someone and I'll be like, I don't why
Speaker 1: am I talking to you right now? It's it's it's exhausting,
Speaker 1: and I don't know if I'm never going to see
Speaker 1: you again. Don't don't let don't let any of this
Speaker 1: happen to you, Georgia, Georgia, you know what Georgia, Please,
Speaker 1: dear God, you're don't don't let don't let yourself become
Speaker 1: existential and crazy. Find joy in the little things. Move
Speaker 1: on to Ferris Wheels. Ferris Wheels are good too. What's
Speaker 1: the chat say? Someone said, that's just your midlife crisis
Speaker 1: talking GHEK. Well, I'm about I'm twenty seven, so hopefully
Speaker 1: I don't die at the age of fifty two. I
Speaker 1: think that math sounds right. Someone said, yeah, a bunch
Speaker 1: of people are saying, that's just depression. Is that depression?
Speaker 1: Oh shit? All right, maybe I'm depressed. All right, Well, okay,
Speaker 1: well that's fine. All right. This is from Tucker. Subject line, Lyle,
Speaker 1: I need your sage wisdom. Tucker says, Lyle, you're such
Speaker 1: a model of men's health. Are there any tips you
Speaker 1: can share for losing weight? I think listening to you
Speaker 1: has made me a better person. Thank you for being you.
Speaker 1: I truly hope, I hope you are truly being you.
Speaker 1: Thank you Tucker for asking me how to lose weight,
Speaker 1: even though I am probably about forty pounds overweight, but
Speaker 1: I'm trying. I'm actually act genuinely I'm yeah, fuck it,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna I said, I was gonna talk about
Speaker 1: it on the top ry the thing now. So so
Speaker 1: I've been doing the Gecko for like four and a
Speaker 1: half years, and for those four and a half years,
Speaker 1: I really I was looking at a picture of myself
Speaker 1: when I first started, and I was really skinny. And
Speaker 1: over the four and a half years that I was
Speaker 1: doing Gecko, nothing in my life mattered to me other
Speaker 1: than being a gecko on the internet, you know, trying
Speaker 1: to be Internet famous, trying to you know, get people
Speaker 1: to listen to my show, you know, making sure I
Speaker 1: upload three clips a week, streaming and clipping and and
Speaker 1: and selling tickets to my tour, and doing my tour,
Speaker 1: and and and traveling all around and and and embracing
Speaker 1: a life of novelty and this and that and the
Speaker 1: other thing, and just every everything career wise and novelty
Speaker 1: wise mattered to me, and uh way more than my health.
Speaker 1: And as a result, they gained like fifty pounds something
Speaker 1: crazy like that. And now that I've gotten to a
Speaker 1: point with this show where I'm like, if the amount
Speaker 1: of people that currently listen to this is the same
Speaker 1: amount of people that currently listen to it for as
Speaker 1: long as it exists. I'm so happy about that. And
Speaker 1: I have successfully completed two and a half tours around
Speaker 1: the world. And so my my draw for more and
Speaker 1: more and more and more and more of that is
Speaker 1: a dissipating and now my drive is like fucking the
Speaker 1: counting calories and going to the gym and all that stuff,
Speaker 1: and like that's what I really care about the most
Speaker 1: right now is doing that stuff. And I mean tips
Speaker 1: for losing weight. I don't know. I'm like, I'm fasting
Speaker 1: and exercising. That's it. That's all you do is you'd
Speaker 1: eat less and you go to the gym and hopefully
Speaker 1: it makes you better. But I guess caring any tips
Speaker 1: you can share for losing weight giving caring, the only
Speaker 1: time I ever lost weight is when I cared about
Speaker 1: losing weight. All the other times, well, you know, that's
Speaker 1: the tip on how to do anything. You can apply
Speaker 1: that to anything. Anything that you you actually genuinely care
Speaker 1: about doing, you'll do. And then the stuff that you don't,
Speaker 1: the stuff that you don't really care about and you're
Speaker 1: subconscious will tell you what you actually care about. You
Speaker 1: can consciously pretend like you care about certain things, but
Speaker 1: your actions throughout your life will tell you what you
Speaker 1: actually care about, and so just I don't know, and
Speaker 1: pay attention to what you care about. And if you
Speaker 1: give a shit about losing weight, then you know, eat
Speaker 1: less and move more and then you'll lose weight. I'll
Speaker 1: let you know if it works for me. So one said,
Speaker 1: I've lost thirty months. I've lost thirty pounds in three
Speaker 1: months and I eat tons and tons of low calorie foods.
Speaker 1: Is thirty pounds in three month? Three months? Is that healthy?
Speaker 1: I don't know. This is not the This is not
Speaker 1: the what's the name of that go to? That guy's name?
Speaker 1: Andrew Huberman is not the Andrew Human podcast. But I
Speaker 1: don't know anyway, Okay, uh okay, please, okay. This person
Speaker 1: wrote don't name me? All right, I'm gonna call you. You
Speaker 1: know what. Here's what bothers me, though, is that some
Speaker 1: of these people like I'll get a fucking email from
Speaker 1: a guy named Brian and he's like, please don't name me,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, you, you know, how many Brian How
Speaker 1: many Brian's are I'm gonna google this right now. How
Speaker 1: many people named Brian Brian are alive in the world? Okay?
Speaker 1: Wick up? Google says there's not much information about how
Speaker 1: many people named Brian are alive in the world. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, anyway, I was trying to make a point.
Speaker 1: Who cares, I'm gonna read this guy, Okay, high gek.
Speaker 1: I've been thinking about a moral dilemma I experienced a
Speaker 1: couple of years ago. I work a job that sometimes
Speaker 1: involves animals, birds, lizards, bees, and sometimes rabbits. I save
Speaker 1: them whenever I can, but most of the time they're
Speaker 1: dead before I arrive. I have saved one pigeon and
Speaker 1: close to one hundred bees and a couple of lizards.
Speaker 1: One day, I found a pigeon in shock, bleeding with
Speaker 1: a broken wing. I wasn't sure what to do. I
Speaker 1: googled what happens to birds with broken wings or birds
Speaker 1: in shock, and I read that they almost always die.
Speaker 1: I didn't think an animal sanctuary would take a pigeon,
Speaker 1: as most people consider pigeons to be rats of the sky.
Speaker 1: I wanted to put it out of its misery, but
Speaker 1: I didn't have a lot to work with, and I
Speaker 1: couldn't leave it in the customer's backyard. I ended up
Speaker 1: taking a brick from the bed of my truck and
Speaker 1: dropping it on the pigeon's head. It broke its neck immediately,
Speaker 1: and the bird seemed to have one second of pain
Speaker 1: as it freaked out, but then went limp. I genuinely
Speaker 1: feel terrible, but I thought a bird with a broken
Speaker 1: wing and in shocks should probably be put down. What
Speaker 1: would you have done in my situation? Am I a
Speaker 1: bad person? Cheers? Wow? Well, I don't think you're a
Speaker 1: bad person, Brian, because you're correct that most people consider
Speaker 1: pigeons they're acts of the sky. And I live in
Speaker 1: New York, and if a pigeon with a broken wing
Speaker 1: was writhing on the side of a sidewalk, hundreds and one,
Speaker 1: hundreds and hundreds and truly hundreds of people would walk by,
Speaker 1: not even noticing that pigeon. So you're at least a
Speaker 1: better person than all of those theoretical people. Shit, man,
Speaker 1: I don't know a bit. That's a tough situation for
Speaker 1: you to be in. That's a tough situation for you
Speaker 1: to be in, because what were your other right what
Speaker 1: were your other options? It's like an animal sanctuary. You're right,
Speaker 1: is probably not gonna take a pigeon. You could have
Speaker 1: just walked away, But then the pigeon would have just
Speaker 1: suffered and died. Uh, you don't. I don't assume you
Speaker 1: know how to do surgery on a pigeon. It's probably true.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna you know, let me google this. What happens
Speaker 1: to birds with broken wings or birds in shock. Let's
Speaker 1: see here. Birds go into shock very easily when injured
Speaker 1: and often die from shock. Yeah, yeah that, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know. I'm googling this too. That bird, that bird
Speaker 1: was fucked. That bird was very fucked. Yeah, that bird
Speaker 1: was gonna die if you walked away, and uh, there
Speaker 1: was no real way to do anything. So yeah, you
Speaker 1: put that you you had to be the executioner. I
Speaker 1: don't know why our Lord put you in that situation
Speaker 1: where you had to put down that bird, But I
Speaker 1: don't know if I can. I even think the fact
Speaker 1: that you care this much does not make you a
Speaker 1: bad part. The fact that you care this much about
Speaker 1: whether or not you're a bad person for putting this
Speaker 1: pigeon out of your misery makes me believe that you
Speaker 1: were not a bad person. Brian, I forget if your
Speaker 1: name was Brian, but also just the fact that you
Speaker 1: were I don't know why. I'm the fact that you
Speaker 1: were like in all caps. At the beginning of this email,
Speaker 1: you wrote, don't name me as if you're get You're
Speaker 1: not going to go to prison. I'll tell you that much.
Speaker 1: You could have you could have killed. You could have
Speaker 1: on purpose killed hundreds and hundreds of pigeons and you.
Speaker 1: I don't know how do animal abuse laws work in
Speaker 1: this country. There's gotta be like I think, if you
Speaker 1: just kill a random pigeon, you're I don't think you
Speaker 1: can go to jail or anything bad's gonna happen to you.
Speaker 1: But it's gotta be a number. How many pigeons do
Speaker 1: you have to go out of your way to kill
Speaker 1: before they at least tell you to stop. You're not
Speaker 1: gonna go to prison for putting this pigeon out of
Speaker 1: your misery. Let yourself go to sleep tonight. Brian, you're
Speaker 1: a fine bloke. Let's see here. Okay, this is from John.
Speaker 1: Subject line is am I ruining my life for good?
Speaker 1: Or making it significantly better? What's up? Lyle euro fan? Here?
Speaker 1: My name is John. It's not my real name. You
Speaker 1: can just call me any way you want. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: call you John. I'm twenty eight and I am in
Speaker 1: a curious situation. I've been studying to become a high
Speaker 1: school teacher for the past six years, past everything with a's,
Speaker 1: and now I'm to take the national examination to work
Speaker 1: in public schools. The thing is, the exam is extremely
Speaker 1: difficult and it normally takes three to five years to pass,
Speaker 1: and me being broke, I had to move back in
Speaker 1: with my parents. They have several issues and treat me
Speaker 1: really bad. I have to do all the chores and
Speaker 1: take care of everything while I am being verbally abused.
Speaker 1: I feel unable to prepare for the exams in this
Speaker 1: environment and this is hat a deep impact on my
Speaker 1: physical and mental health. So wanting to get out, I
Speaker 1: discovered I could take a similar examination, but way easier
Speaker 1: doable in one year to become a train dispatcher, sell
Speaker 1: train tickets or even become a postal worker. Do I
Speaker 1: like those jobs now particularly? But I like that they
Speaker 1: give me the opportunity to break away from this toxicity,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I deserve it. What do you
Speaker 1: guys think? Is it worth it to give up on
Speaker 1: your professional career and abandon your family only just for
Speaker 1: an easy fix. Note that the teachers get paid really well.
Speaker 1: Out here, and any of the jobs I mentioned are
Speaker 1: full time for life jobs. This feels like a lifetime choice.
Speaker 1: I am a bit stubborn and don't usually follow advice,
Speaker 1: so don't feel pressured. Okay, I like that. Hmm, Okay,
Speaker 1: hold on, Okay, here's the thing, John, You're coming to
Speaker 1: a lot of conclusions that I don't necessarily understand. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of conclusions that you are making in this
Speaker 1: email that I don't understand. So it seems as though
Speaker 1: your don you want to become a high school teacher
Speaker 1: and you got to pass this exam. But you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: the path to me. Okay, So you're like, all right,
Speaker 1: let me. Let me lay out John's life and all
Speaker 1: the variables of it. John needs a job so he
Speaker 1: can make money so he can get out of his parents'
Speaker 1: house because his parents are crazy. And John is gunning
Speaker 1: for this job that he really wants. But if in
Speaker 1: order to get this job, he's got to stay for
Speaker 1: longer in his parents' apartment or whatever, and he could
Speaker 1: get a job quicker, leave your parents' house quicker, but
Speaker 1: it's not the job he wants. But John, I don't understand.
Speaker 1: Here's what I understand. Why don't you just if you
Speaker 1: really are like, okay, I'll just take anything just to
Speaker 1: be able to get out of my parents' house. Why
Speaker 1: don't you fucking do the postal working job or the
Speaker 1: train dispatch a job and then on the side study
Speaker 1: for your exam? Are you not allowed to do that?
Speaker 1: Why does you wrote in the email you wrote, this
Speaker 1: feels like a lifetime choice. Why. Here's That's the part
Speaker 1: I don't understand is why you feel like this is
Speaker 1: a long term choice because you're twenty eight. You could
Speaker 1: go work as the trained professor for two years and
Speaker 1: meanwhile study for the exam. So I the thing that
Speaker 1: I am getting from this email that's standing out to
Speaker 1: me is I don't understand why this is a lifetime
Speaker 1: choice for you. And you say you're stubborn and you
Speaker 1: don't follow advice, So the is this being a lifetime
Speaker 1: choice because of your stubbornness? Somebody that Chad said stick
Speaker 1: it out? Why don't you just yeah, it's okay. Why
Speaker 1: don't you just get a job that will pay you
Speaker 1: enough that you can get out of your fucking parents'
Speaker 1: house because you clearly hate that, and then study to
Speaker 1: be a teacher. On the side. You're a euro you
Speaker 1: said you're a European fan. Where in Europe are you?
Speaker 1: I'm curious because public's working as a public school high
Speaker 1: scho teacher is from all accounts, horrible. That's what people say.
Speaker 1: But I wonder if I don't know if it's as horrible.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm wondering if it's as horrible in Europe. Usually
Speaker 1: in Europe things are just kind of a little better.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. That's why i'd say to you, John,
Speaker 1: is truly, truly, truly pick apart with yourself and examine
Speaker 1: why you've believed this is a lifetime choice and why
Speaker 1: you refuse to view your life as a long term
Speaker 1: thing in which you can. You can do many things.
Speaker 1: Humans are are multifaceted. They can they can drive trains,
Speaker 1: they can teach high school, and they can they can
Speaker 1: eat crackers. Okay, this is from This is from the
Speaker 1: other person doesn't want me to say their name. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna call a I'm gonna call you Jordan. I hate Okay.
Speaker 1: This is from Jordan's subject line is disgruntled pizza manager.
Speaker 1: I hate my job. I want to quit, but I
Speaker 1: can't get away with the shit that I do anywhere else.
Speaker 1: I enjoy drinking at work, but that's only because they
Speaker 1: make me work long hours. I like to smoke dabs
Speaker 1: into the ovens, and the second I clock out, I
Speaker 1: immediately go buy more alcohol. I okay, I need to
Speaker 1: stop drinking. I think I solved my own problem. I've
Speaker 1: been caught drinking at work a few times, but never
Speaker 1: been fired. I left a bottle in the bathroom lmao. Anyways,
Speaker 1: I'm writing this to you drunk at work. I've talked
Speaker 1: to you on the phone about baby trapping. My happy
Speaker 1: and adorable dad has stopped saying I baby trapped him,
Speaker 1: and now he wants another Okay, oh Jordan, Oh no,
Speaker 1: oh man. Alcohol is a crazy thing. I really, Uh.
Speaker 1: Life is so crazy because it's so fucking difficult for
Speaker 1: so many people that were like, let's get really fucked
Speaker 1: up so that we don't have to live in reality.
Speaker 1: And I understand the attractiveness of that. I have indulged
Speaker 1: in in that before. It's nice. Getting really fucked up
Speaker 1: to avoid reality can be nice. But I just I
Speaker 1: don't know, Jordan. I don't know you, but if I
Speaker 1: could say anything to you, I would say that I
Speaker 1: know you cannot possibly understand it right now in your
Speaker 1: brain that is fogged up with stress and depression and
Speaker 1: fucking whatever else, right, whatever it is that you're using
Speaker 1: alcohol to escape from. When your brain is in a
Speaker 1: dense mental fog, it cannot possibly understand or comprehend the
Speaker 1: idea that things can change and get better. And so I,
Speaker 1: just as an outsider observing this situation, I would say
Speaker 1: to you, Jordan, I hope that you start to I
Speaker 1: hope that you start to find it, find yourself worthy
Speaker 1: of a life that you like enough that you don't
Speaker 1: have to get fucked up all the time to avoid.
Speaker 1: I mean, you have a child, and you have another,
Speaker 1: you have a guy who is romantically related to you
Speaker 1: in some way. You have things to live for, things
Speaker 1: that would be enjoyed better if you weren't getting sucked
Speaker 1: up all the time. So I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: know what the first step is to doing that, but
Speaker 1: I hope you take it. Maybe go to anaa meeting
Speaker 1: or see a therapist. I wonder about pizza shop you
Speaker 1: work at. I like pizza. Okay, alright, this is from Skurgel,
Speaker 1: subject line beautiful true Love. Hello, I am Skurgelmeyer gees
Speaker 1: some who cares on precisely. February tenth, twenty twenty four,
Speaker 1: at seven pm, I looked at my longtime best friend
Speaker 1: since elementary school leaning against a pillar, and I fell
Speaker 1: madly in love with them and realized I am a
Speaker 1: massive homosexual. It took me eight months of thinking about
Speaker 1: that to tell them those feelings. While I did so
Speaker 1: with the intent of them surely turning me down so
Speaker 1: I could stop constantly thinking about them, they responded by
Speaker 1: informing me that they really, really desperately wanted me to
Speaker 1: be their boyfriend once their life stopped being in a
Speaker 1: massive chaotic uproar. That was two months ago. I constantly
Speaker 1: think about them and my memories with them, what I
Speaker 1: want to do with them, how I miss them, and
Speaker 1: what I might do with them. All right, you don't
Speaker 1: have to get that spicy, but or do I don't care.
Speaker 1: I don't know when I might ever be able to
Speaker 1: be with them. Even when I'm focused on something else,
Speaker 1: I inevitably start thinking about my memories with them again.
Speaker 1: Is it even moral to like a person this much?
Speaker 1: Am I delusional and insane? I go wailing hashtag let
Speaker 1: me know you're not insane. You're not insane. This is
Speaker 1: what happens when you fall in love is you go
Speaker 1: a little insane, You get a little you got you
Speaker 1: go when you when you're just fucking so attracted to
Speaker 1: someone and sew into them, you go delusional and you
Speaker 1: go insane, and you do stupid things and make bad decisions,
Speaker 1: and you try to talk and you try to convince
Speaker 1: yourself that you're actually not delusional and you're not insane,
Speaker 1: but you are. You're not acting in of logic. I think.
Speaker 1: I think I'm no scientist, but I think it's like
Speaker 1: a drug, like infatuation. Right, It's like a drug of
Speaker 1: some kind and causes you to you become an addict
Speaker 1: and then you go insane. Now here's what I don't
Speaker 1: understand is, uh, this person was like, I want you
Speaker 1: to be my boyfriend, but this person is basically like,
Speaker 1: I like you too, I want you to be my boyfriend,
Speaker 1: but my life is a little crazy right now. Right,
Speaker 1: I want you to be my boyfriend, but my life
Speaker 1: is a little crazy right now. And uh, my you
Speaker 1: as my boyfriend, I can't have you be my boyfriend
Speaker 1: while my life is crazy. And so you're gonna sit there,
Speaker 1: and you are going to wait, you know, wait, you
Speaker 1: know wait, and every day you look at your phone
Speaker 1: and you wait for the text, Hey, my life is
Speaker 1: no longer crazy, so come be my boyfriend. But you
Speaker 1: don't know when that's gonna be, Scurgle, You don't know
Speaker 1: when that's gonna be. I got I, I got I
Speaker 1: got I got I got an idea for you, Skurgle.
Speaker 1: What if this person's life is crazy forever as all
Speaker 1: of our lives are, what are you gonna do? Skurgle.
Speaker 1: You're gonna sit wait forever. You're gonna be a skeleton
Speaker 1: with a crush. I understand holding out hope, especially when
Speaker 1: this person this person also, it's specially especially when it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is a life circumstantial thing. If now, if you
Speaker 1: had told me that this person was like I just
Speaker 1: don't like you, but who knows, maybe I will, then
Speaker 1: I would say it or not that you know, to
Speaker 1: move on. Are you still allowing yourself to be available
Speaker 1: to other people, is my question? Or are you really
Speaker 1: holding out? Are you like saying, are you are you
Speaker 1: not pursuing other romantic endeavors because of this person? Don't
Speaker 1: do that. Sometimes that's the thing takes solace in this
Speaker 1: right sometimes genuine by the way this person. I know
Speaker 1: that some people might be like, oh, this person actually
Speaker 1: doesn't like scruggle their life, just genuinely their they And
Speaker 1: you know, there's the whole concept of like, if they
Speaker 1: wanted to, they would, which I actually like ninety nine
Speaker 1: percent believe that if if someone wanted to that they
Speaker 1: would like this person. When it comes like the imbalance
Speaker 1: that occurs in romantic relationships, I think this person likes you,
Speaker 1: they don't like you enough to uh move their life
Speaker 1: around for you, and you clearly like them enough that
Speaker 1: you would move across the country to be with them.
Speaker 1: And that just happens in these fucking things. Is that
Speaker 1: this is just you're always going to deal with some
Speaker 1: level of inequitable investment in each other. In a beautiful,
Speaker 1: perfect world, two people meet who have exactly the same
Speaker 1: amount of investment in each other and they have a baby,
Speaker 1: and they get married forever and then they die. But
Speaker 1: should you go whaling? Yeah, well no, would you? Why
Speaker 1: did you go whaling? Don't kill a whale. I'm not
Speaker 1: making a joke. I think that's what you meant. Is
Speaker 1: it moral to like a person? This much. That's what
Speaker 1: you said. Yeah, I don't think it's I mean, unless
Speaker 1: if they're a child, I don't think they are. Am
Speaker 1: I delusional and insane? That those are the questions you are?
Speaker 1: I forget what I said earlier. I forget if I
Speaker 1: said that you were or you weren't. But I think
Speaker 1: you are. You are delusional and you are insane. But
Speaker 1: being delusional and insane is a normal is a natural
Speaker 1: human experience. It's a natural response to these feelings. So
Speaker 1: you are delusional and insane, but you're not off course
Speaker 1: of the typical human experience in your delusions and your insanity,
Speaker 1: unless if you are, Unless if this person is not real,
Speaker 1: then that would be abnormal and you should talk to
Speaker 1: a psychiatrist. Okay, I don't know if any of what
Speaker 1: I just said was helpful, but I'm gonna read another
Speaker 1: email unless if the chat has anything to say. Someone said,
Speaker 1: this person is just keeping you on the sidelines kind of.
Speaker 1: Someone said, yeah, that my life is too crazy right
Speaker 1: now thing. I don't buy the here's here's what, but
Speaker 1: my life is too crazy right now? Could mean a
Speaker 1: could just mean that this person doesn't like you. It
Speaker 1: either means this person doesn't like you, or they do
Speaker 1: like you, they just don't like you enough to make
Speaker 1: time for you. Which is a hard pill to swallow,
Speaker 1: but it must be done alrighty as this is from eSeL.
Speaker 1: Subject line is the societal pressure of becoming something. Hey, Lyle,
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to you about this constant pressure
Speaker 1: I feel to become wildly successful and my internal debate
Speaker 1: over whether this is a feeling I was born with
Speaker 1: or something that was brainwashed into me by the hustle
Speaker 1: culture we find ourselves in. Oh I like this, Okay.
Speaker 1: I am a twenty one year old male from Amsterdam,
Speaker 1: and lately I've been feeling a lot of pressure sure
Speaker 1: to become successful, not just in a hopeful way, but
Speaker 1: also in a stressful way. On the one hand, I
Speaker 1: feel like I have to try because I really do
Speaker 1: want to build something for myself, my family and my
Speaker 1: loved ones. I want to be proud to have built
Speaker 1: something and pat myself on the shoulder and say I
Speaker 1: really built that. On the other hand, I feel like
Speaker 1: this is just something that was printed into my mind.
Speaker 1: I feel like, especially as a young man Andrew tate
Speaker 1: E comm hustlers, etc. You get told that you have
Speaker 1: to become rich. Oh, you will be a forgettable loser
Speaker 1: until you die and vanish into nothingness. Would you say
Speaker 1: these feelings are internally created or externally created? Have you
Speaker 1: experienced this pressures? How do you deal with them? Would
Speaker 1: you say that this has partially influenced you into starting
Speaker 1: your podcast. Have a happy New Year, Best wishes, Salah. Ps.
Speaker 1: English is not my first language, so forget any grammical
Speaker 1: mistakes I have made. Feel free to mention my name
Speaker 1: or not. I don't care this guy's name is. This
Speaker 1: guy has like a unique name, and he's like, I
Speaker 1: don't mention my name. I don't give a fuck. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: all the John's of the world are like, don't say
Speaker 1: don't say my name anyway? All right? I love this email.
Speaker 1: I really I I feel pressure right now to give
Speaker 1: a good response to this email because I really want to,
Speaker 1: because I totally get where this person is coming from.
Speaker 1: And I actually feel like I have pretty good perspective
Speaker 1: now on this issue because I've been wanting to be
Speaker 1: successful for my whole life. I mean since I started.
Speaker 1: I started making videos and movies and doing comedy and shit.
Speaker 1: When I was like, you know, fucking fifteen, and I
Speaker 1: always wanted to be successful in it. And now you know,
Speaker 1: twelve years later, I've experienced a success in that I
Speaker 1: have this podcast that people listen to and and I
Speaker 1: go on this tour and I know what that So
Speaker 1: I kind of know what material success looks like. And
Speaker 1: I'm still on a journey with it, but I've totally
Speaker 1: began to understand that it is not the It does
Speaker 1: not solve every problem that you maybe think it would solve.
Speaker 1: And I have a new perspective on it. And so
Speaker 1: let's see, let me answer all these questions at once.
Speaker 1: Would you say these feelings are internally created or externally created?
Speaker 1: I think it's a little bit of both. I think yes,
Speaker 1: since I think some people do have like ambition and
Speaker 1: entrepreneurial spirit, you know, genuinely within them. Maybe it's like
Speaker 1: a trait that they inherited from their family, or it's
Speaker 1: just within them, and they they understand life to be
Speaker 1: a fragile thing and they want more out of their
Speaker 1: lives than themselves. And I don't think there's anything wrong
Speaker 1: with wanting to be successful and wanting to, you know,
Speaker 1: build a life that you're proud of, right, Like the
Speaker 1: feelings that you're feeling. I don't think are bad ones,
Speaker 1: at least from the way that you've talked about them,
Speaker 1: like the like this this line in your email. I
Speaker 1: want to be proud to have built something for myself
Speaker 1: and pat myself on the shoulder and say, I really
Speaker 1: built that. So here's what's so okay, okay this It
Speaker 1: has now come to me this whole like internal versus
Speaker 1: external thing. If you want to be successful because you
Speaker 1: because you feel like you know whatever, Andrew Tait or
Speaker 1: or some fucking guy on Instagram has a cool car
Speaker 1: and you want to show off to people, and you
Speaker 1: want to be successful because you want other people to
Speaker 1: respect you, you will learn that other people, whether you're
Speaker 1: successful or not, don't really give that much of a
Speaker 1: fuck about you and your family and your friends. Ideally,
Speaker 1: if you have the right ones will love you and
Speaker 1: be your friend whether or not you're successful. All of
Speaker 1: my good friends in my life right now are pretty
Speaker 1: much people I met before I became successful, and they
Speaker 1: all treat me exactly the same. Becoming successful as an
Speaker 1: internet guy has not. I still feel all the same
Speaker 1: feelings in the universe, and I still get pissed off
Speaker 1: of my friends and my friends get pissed off of
Speaker 1: you know how, it's just how it goes in that world.
Speaker 1: Nothing changes in that world. Your friends will not look
Speaker 1: at you any differently before or after success. And also, ultimately,
Speaker 1: like the kind of the people who would look at
Speaker 1: you differently after being successful are not like them, are
Speaker 1: They're not like the main main, main people in your
Speaker 1: life will be ultimately unaffected. I believe by this, So
Speaker 1: it's a stupid and also and also having people like
Speaker 1: admire you or admire your stuff is worth is kind
Speaker 1: of not worth anything. So that's a bad reason to
Speaker 1: want to be successful. Conversely, for me, one of the
Speaker 1: things that has been really great about having had a
Speaker 1: scessful thing is that if I died tomorrow, I really
Speaker 1: could feel like I lived my life to the fullest
Speaker 1: and I tried. You know. So, what you're talking about, like, uh,
Speaker 1: wanting to be successful in something because of this internal
Speaker 1: desire to have tried and to have to have built
Speaker 1: something that you're just internally proud of, I think is good.
Speaker 1: And you said, have I experienced these pressures and would
Speaker 1: I say that this has partially influenced you in starting
Speaker 1: your own podcast? Yeah? I think when it comes to
Speaker 1: like I think, I just like I've always kind of
Speaker 1: been ambitious and wanted more out of my life. And uh,
Speaker 1: I that that those pressures, the societal pressures and the
Speaker 1: internal pressures that you're talking talking about, definitely influence. I
Speaker 1: think if it wasn't therapy Gecko, it would have been
Speaker 1: something I would have started. And I had, you know,
Speaker 1: endeavors that I was doing stand up and making movies
Speaker 1: and I started a little comedy club and I was
Speaker 1: doing stuff before I did this, And if this wasn't
Speaker 1: the thing that took off, I would have kept doing
Speaker 1: things until something was successful or took off, just because
Speaker 1: you know, that's was just kind of always in me.
Speaker 1: But again, now that the thing has took taken off
Speaker 1: and now none of that, if at the time to
Speaker 1: kind of reflect, I've learned that really the only things
Speaker 1: that matter are like the people around you and what
Speaker 1: you're actually doing right, Because if you want to if
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I'm gonna get rich by like doing
Speaker 1: real estate, you can have all the money in the world,
Speaker 1: but you're still spending your life doing real estate. Do
Speaker 1: you like real estate? You know? Then there's like, okay,
Speaker 1: well let me make a whole bunch of money in
Speaker 1: real estate so that I can do my true passion,
Speaker 1: or even just fucking let me get a normal ass
Speaker 1: job so I can have enough money left over to
Speaker 1: do my actual passion, which is a perfectly legitimate way
Speaker 1: to live life too. I feel like I've just been
Speaker 1: ranting for a while. I'm trying to. I'm trying to.
Speaker 1: I just I love this subject because I feel like
Speaker 1: I've had a lot of different kind of perspectives on it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, just make sure, like when you say you
Speaker 1: want to be, when you say you want to become something, Salah,
Speaker 1: just make sure that whatever it is that you're doing
Speaker 1: to become something, make sure that to make sure two
Speaker 1: things of whatever it is that you're doing to become something. One,
Speaker 1: make sure that you really fucking like doing it, and
Speaker 1: then to make sure that you're doing it with people
Speaker 1: you really like. Okay, because after a certain point like those,
Speaker 1: I've just learned that those are the only two things
Speaker 1: that matter. Just make sure that you really like what
Speaker 1: you're doing and that you're doing it with people that
Speaker 1: you like. And then like, as long as you have
Speaker 1: enough money to fucking uh not die, you're fine. You're
Speaker 1: something right then and there. I also think the idea
Speaker 1: of like becoming something like you're something right now, you're
Speaker 1: a human being. We all fucking will we will, like
Speaker 1: this line you have in here where you're like, you
Speaker 1: have to either become rich or you will be a
Speaker 1: forgettable loser until you die and vanish into nothingness. Guess what,
Speaker 1: We're all going to be forgettable and die and vanish
Speaker 1: into nothingness. No one really cares that much about us.
Speaker 1: You could be Donald Trump and live in a period
Speaker 1: of time on the earth where everyone says your name
Speaker 1: every two seconds, but eventually he's gonna fucking die and
Speaker 1: be forgotten, and we're all gonna die and be forgotten.
Speaker 1: So just do whatever it is that you actually want
Speaker 1: to fucking do, and don't be obsessed with leaving a legacy.
Speaker 1: I think legacy is just stupid in that regard. So
Speaker 1: don't start from a place of what's gonna make me successful?
Speaker 1: Start from a place of who do I like being
Speaker 1: around and what do I like to do? Because those
Speaker 1: are the things that are gonna matter, not any kind
Speaker 1: of material success. All right, rant over? Uh what else?
Speaker 1: What else? What does the chat say? Someone said? Kind
Speaker 1: of unfortunate for you that the thing that took off
Speaker 1: involved you panting your face green every time. Bro, there's
Speaker 1: people who put I will here, dude, putting on the
Speaker 1: makeup and gecko suit takes me way less time than
Speaker 1: like putting on makeup and a suit and tie, which
Speaker 1: is what a lot of people do to go to
Speaker 1: their jobs. So so and said, developing self worth is
Speaker 1: an internal process. It is. Developing self worth is an
Speaker 1: internal process. I say that from like I have, you
Speaker 1: know I've done. I do these tours and at every
Speaker 1: single one of my shows, I stand around and I
Speaker 1: meet everyone I meet at all of the shows that
Speaker 1: I did. I did one hundred and twenty three shows
Speaker 1: over the past I did one hundred and twenty three
Speaker 1: shows over the past two years, and I've at every
Speaker 1: one of those shows, I stand around in the lobby
Speaker 1: and I meet every single person until until the venue's empty.
Speaker 1: And I will have nights. I would have nights where
Speaker 1: I would literally like have in a single file line
Speaker 1: of people one by one telling me how how much
Speaker 1: they fucking love me and how awesome I am and
Speaker 1: all this like stuff that you would think would be validating.
Speaker 1: But then the next day I'm still in my own brain,
Speaker 1: and I'm still like, ah, I'm a piece of shit
Speaker 1: and I suck and and no one likes me and
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. So there's no I'm telling you firsthand,
Speaker 1: there's no amount of external validation that can actually have
Speaker 1: a lasting impact on your brain. It's all external. It's
Speaker 1: a hunt. No, I'm sorry, it's all internal. It's one
Speaker 1: hundred percent internal. You have to have a rock solid
Speaker 1: foundation within you that you're something and that your life matters,
Speaker 1: and that you're not a piece of shit. There's you know,
Speaker 1: everything else is just is is not going to be
Speaker 1: helpful for you. And how do you And I believe
Speaker 1: that you don't get that internal rock solid belief by
Speaker 1: being successful. I think you get.
Speaker 2: It by knowing that you tried, like when you go
Speaker 2: to bed at I knowing that you tried really hard
Speaker 2: to make an effort towards the kind of life you
Speaker 2: want to live.
Speaker 1: Is what actually gives you that internal validation more so
Speaker 1: than any sort of like actual success with it. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I'm being a fucking Tony Robbins guy. All right, anyway,
Speaker 1: all right, okay, all right, Oh god, I was talking
Speaker 1: for way too long about that shit. Let's keep going. Okay.
Speaker 1: This is from Mohammed. Subject line, drugs are cool, but
Speaker 1: don't do them, yo, ghek typing this from the comfort
Speaker 1: of my bed, which I'll sadly have to get up
Speaker 1: out of in order to go to work to earn
Speaker 1: money to essentially fund my drug use lol. I moved
Speaker 1: from the UK, back home to Africa for a while,
Speaker 1: then to the Gulf Region and back here to London.
Speaker 1: Drugs are keeping me intact to some extent, don't And
Speaker 1: then in all caps, he wrote, don't do them? Love
Speaker 1: you ghek. Feel free to call for further context if needed. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't okay, Well I hope you're okay. Someone said,
Speaker 1: all right, let's see hold on. Okay. This is from Diana.
Speaker 1: Subject line, just got to Korea and now everyone is
Speaker 1: saying to leave all right. This email is twelve days ago,
Speaker 1: so this is when they were like declaring martial law
Speaker 1: or anything. What is martial law? Because I know they
Speaker 1: declared it, and then like an hour later they were like,
Speaker 1: never mind, all right, Hi, Lyle, big fan of the show.
Speaker 1: Had a blast seeing you in Seattle earlier this year.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I have nothing really interesting going on in
Speaker 1: my life right now, other than I just landed in
Speaker 1: South Korea a day ago and now there was a
Speaker 1: lot of military and political uprising going on. Everyone back
Speaker 1: home is telling me I should fly back, but I
Speaker 1: just landed and planned to be here until March to
Speaker 1: spend time with my husband out here. Also, I haven't
Speaker 1: even had the chance to go to seven to eleven
Speaker 1: yet and get the onegree and snacks. You can obviously
Speaker 1: see where my priorities lie. We'll see what ends up happening.
Speaker 1: But I plan to ride it out and stay until March.
Speaker 1: Keep gecking and hope I can see you next time
Speaker 1: you go on tour. Are you still there? I guess
Speaker 1: I don't know why I said that, as if I
Speaker 1: was talking to you and not just reading an email.
Speaker 1: This person's probably fine, because I think they declared martial
Speaker 1: law and then just immediately said never mind, right, let
Speaker 1: me google this South Korea Marshall law. Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: so yes, this is twelve days ago. Yeah, okay, so
Speaker 1: they were oh yeah, okay, so no if they were
Speaker 1: still okay, martial law is over now. It was like
Speaker 1: twenty four hours. Did you guys know that the longest
Speaker 1: the Declaration of of martial law was in Syria from
Speaker 1: nineteen sixty seven to twenty eleven, or maybe it was Taiwan.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm just looking at Wikipedia, all right,
Speaker 1: So there we go. You can get all your snacks
Speaker 1: and you're gonna be fine and you don't even have
Speaker 1: to die or I don't know. I don't know why
Speaker 1: you would die, but okay, okay. This is from Lars
Speaker 1: High GEK. My friends and I were in college and
Speaker 1: we were playing dodgeball with this group of guys. We
Speaker 1: were having a good time goofing around and not taking
Speaker 1: it super seriously, but there was this one guy who
Speaker 1: took it very personal and started to make comments on
Speaker 1: how we weren't playing the game right because we were
Speaker 1: just goofing around. On the way home, we talked about
Speaker 1: how much of a douche canoe he was. My friend,
Speaker 1: who was an ARA at the time, knew what dorm
Speaker 1: he was living in, so we decided to tape douches
Speaker 1: to his door. Later that year, my friend who was
Speaker 1: the RA started dating this guy, so when he moved
Speaker 1: out of that dorm, we still knew where he lived.
Speaker 1: So a year later, on that same night, at three am.
Speaker 1: We douched his door again. We did this for two
Speaker 1: more years before my friend ruined it all and told
Speaker 1: him that it was us. They are still together today.
Speaker 1: Why'd you do it twice? I mean doing it one
Speaker 1: and doing it once is just like a stupid prank.
Speaker 1: But doing it twice, I don't know, as I guess
Speaker 1: that's kind of funny. Let's see here, Let's do a
Speaker 1: couple more emails show we shall we do a couple
Speaker 1: more emails. How long is this episode so far? It's
Speaker 1: at least an hour. Okay, this is from Paul. The
Speaker 1: subject line is mystics and hermits. I have this recurring
Speaker 1: thought of moving into a cave in the mountains to
Speaker 1: spend time reading and thinking. I used to live in
Speaker 1: a pseudo ghost town, and that experience altered my perspective
Speaker 1: on life. I lived in an old miner's cabin and
Speaker 1: spent about three years fixing it and repairing it to
Speaker 1: be more livable. The biggest lesson I learned out there
Speaker 1: was that the romanticized parts of history are only romantic
Speaker 1: if one does not have to live with their consequences
Speaker 1: this experience, what does that mean? Holy shit? The romanticized
Speaker 1: parts of history are only romantic if one doesn't have
Speaker 1: to live with their consequences. What does that mean? This
Speaker 1: experience has made me very wary trying anything new in
Speaker 1: the realm of living a hermetic or mystic lifestyle. But
Speaker 1: the thought is still circulating in my mind. Is it
Speaker 1: worth considering doing a trial run every few weeks or
Speaker 1: should I bag the whole thought and keep on keeping on? Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm really trying to understand what this guy is saying.
Speaker 1: I used to Okay, this guy spent three years in
Speaker 1: an old miner's cabin, and then he said the biggest
Speaker 1: lesson I learned was that the romanticized parts of life
Speaker 1: are only romantic if one doesn't have to live with
Speaker 1: their consequences. Okay, So this guy, I think is sad. Okay,
Speaker 1: I think this person is saying that they made the
Speaker 1: decision to live in a miner's cabin and that they
Speaker 1: didn't like it. But why the fuck did they stay
Speaker 1: there for three years if they didn't like it? Why
Speaker 1: you say you say living you say it's only romantic
Speaker 1: if you don't have to live with your consequences, But
Speaker 1: why do you have to live with them? Why do
Speaker 1: you have to live with the consequences of going somewhere
Speaker 1: when you can just leave. I guess I mean you
Speaker 1: didn't move to like, you know, North Korea and get
Speaker 1: thrown in jail. You just you're an American. It seems
Speaker 1: I'm gonna assume this experience has made me very wary
Speaker 1: of trying anything new. You're wary of trying, Paul. You
Speaker 1: seem like you're weary of trying new things because you
Speaker 1: think that you have to stick it out. You ever
Speaker 1: heard of vacation? You could just you could just you
Speaker 1: ever heard of airbnb, Paul, Paul, go get an airbnb
Speaker 1: for a week. You don't have to buy and you
Speaker 1: don't have to You don't have to. We live in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty four, man. You don't have to buy a
Speaker 1: cabin and and dedicate find and make financial commitments to
Speaker 1: fixing it up. Just go on Airbnb, man, and get
Speaker 1: a little cabin in a shitty place. All right. This
Speaker 1: is from John. The subject line is future Howdy. My
Speaker 1: name is John and I'm thirty one years old. Life
Speaker 1: has been a wild ride and I am finding myself
Speaker 1: entering a new chapter of life. Over the past year,
Speaker 1: I have been prepping my house to sell. Everyone wants
Speaker 1: to talk about homes. Fixing up a house to sell
Speaker 1: is expensive and creates a lot of stress, all while
Speaker 1: not being able to present be present for the people
Speaker 1: you want to be with. However, I am getting to
Speaker 1: the end, and in the next two months I will
Speaker 1: have my house listed for sale and be able to
Speaker 1: buy a new house with my girlfriend and her two
Speaker 1: year old daughter. We have been dating for two years
Speaker 1: and do not live together yet because my house is
Speaker 1: too small to raise a child. Marriage, kids, and building
Speaker 1: a life together has been a constant conversation since we met.
Speaker 1: It is very exciting and scary that the next phase
Speaker 1: of our relationship is about to I was about to begin,
Speaker 1: but oh man, I am so ready for it to start.
Speaker 1: If you would have asked me five years ago, if
Speaker 1: this is where I would be, If you would have
Speaker 1: told me five years ago this is where I would be,
Speaker 1: I would never have believed you. A younger me would
Speaker 1: have never considered dating someone with a child, and maybe
Speaker 1: some people listening are feeling the same way. But I
Speaker 1: can promise you that taking the opportunity has filled my
Speaker 1: heart with so much love and I have been gifted
Speaker 1: with the most beautiful future. Thanks for listening. Gek, I
Speaker 1: love that. I think that's really nice. John, Well, it's funny. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're about five years older than I am, and uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I think, like I'm actually inspired reading your email because
Speaker 1: I'm trying to keep my heart and mind open to
Speaker 1: things that maybe I would have been turned off to,
Speaker 1: you know, at this current point in my life. But
Speaker 1: that's exciting that. Like I know, I talked earlier about
Speaker 1: like being a depression, but I read an email like
Speaker 1: this and it excites me because it's like I think,
Speaker 1: I think a lot of like my depression has come
Speaker 1: from like this theory that like, well this is this
Speaker 1: idea that like, you know, I've already like there's no
Speaker 1: nothing's in my future, Like I don't see any further
Speaker 1: life experiences past this. Like I woke up at like
Speaker 1: five am and I just had like a panic attack
Speaker 1: where I was like, oh, no, life is going to
Speaker 1: be the same, It's going to be this forever and
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna die, you know, but uh, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Then I read something like this and I'm like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: here's this guy who you know said that five years
Speaker 1: later you would he's experiencing something that five years ago
Speaker 1: he would have never sought himself to experience. So thanks
Speaker 1: for sharing your future with us, John. Maybe it's inspiring
Speaker 1: to other people as well. Someone said, why must I
Speaker 1: piss every day? Okay, let's read. Let's read another email.
Speaker 1: Let's see. Okay, we can read a cuple we can
Speaker 1: read a few more emails. Hey Gecko is from Paul.
Speaker 1: Subject line bros Before hose Hey Gecko, longtime listener and fan.
Speaker 1: I went through this crazy situation with one of my
Speaker 1: best friends and his girlfriend earlier this year. Long story short.
Speaker 1: I started dating his ex soon after they broke up,
Speaker 1: and it caused a huge rift between me and my friends.
Speaker 1: I'd always had a crush on her, and I fell
Speaker 1: hard for her once she started showing interest in me.
Speaker 1: Jen ended up dumping me too soon after. Karma is real,
Speaker 1: and I was left to deal with losing my friends
Speaker 1: and being a heartbroken. It sent me into a depression
Speaker 1: for a while, and I spent a few months loathing
Speaker 1: myself and not talking to anyone. I ended up reaching
Speaker 1: out to my friends who my friend, whose ex it was,
Speaker 1: and now we're better friends than ever. That's really nice.
Speaker 1: We bonded over the trauma this woman had caused both
Speaker 1: of us. Nowadays, I've forgiven myself and tried to learn
Speaker 1: and grow from the mistakes I've made. I picked up
Speaker 1: new hobbies and made new friends, and I'm doing great.
Speaker 1: BTWI went to both your Tampa shows and had a
Speaker 1: great time. Here's a picture of us. I'm on the left,
Speaker 1: the X is between us. Oh, this is a Oh
Speaker 1: this is too personal that I can see this now.
Speaker 1: You know what's funny is that I'm looking at a picture.
Speaker 1: This is normally like when I'm on the phone with
Speaker 1: someone and they're talking to me, but like, oh, my
Speaker 1: ex boyfriend and this and then the other thing. It's
Speaker 1: like it's it makes it so much. It's like impersonal
Speaker 1: because I don't know these people. But now I'm like
Speaker 1: staring at a photo of these people who he's talking
Speaker 1: about in the story. I hope everyone's doing all right. Oh,
Speaker 1: she's holding my tail. She's holding my tail in the photo.
Speaker 1: All right. Let's read another email. Uh okay, this is
Speaker 1: from some guy. Subject line is life. Hi. I'm m
Speaker 1: from Saudi Arabia. I've got finals next week and I'm
Speaker 1: fucking scared. Bro. I'll graduate from UNI in May of
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five. I guess I'm an accounting I always
Speaker 1: listen to your podcast while I shower every morning. It's amazing, Bro,
Speaker 1: Thank you. I want to call someday, but I know
Speaker 1: I'll get super nervous. You're doing a great job and
Speaker 1: I really enjoy your content. You're a good get go.
Speaker 1: Best wishes. Listen, m listen, listen. Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something that I'm let me tell
Speaker 1: you know what, Fuck it, I'm gonna have a little
Speaker 1: bit of conviction today. Look. Everyone, there are institutions around
Speaker 1: the world throughout time whose sole purpose is to make
Speaker 1: you think that they have control over you and your life.
Speaker 1: These are like this is like fucking like high school,
Speaker 1: and especially when you're young and you're will and you
Speaker 1: buy into it right when you're young. When you're in
Speaker 1: high school, okay, the education system tries to tell you
Speaker 1: that if you do not succeed in their rigid system
Speaker 1: of if you do not pass this test, you are
Speaker 1: banned from having a successful, fulfilling, happy life. That's what
Speaker 1: they try to tell you is that if you do
Speaker 1: this is just a test coming up, and if you
Speaker 1: fail the test, you're You're fucked forever. You can not
Speaker 1: achieve any of your dreams, you can never help people,
Speaker 1: and the way you wanted to help people. You can
Speaker 1: never be happy, you can never do It's all a lie.
Speaker 1: It's all a lie when in fact, you live in
Speaker 1: a vast infinite universe with no rules except the ones
Speaker 1: that fucking everyone just fucking made up. Okay, so study
Speaker 1: for your test. Please study free tests and do the
Speaker 1: best you can. And then beyond that, if you study
Speaker 1: for the test and you do the best you can,
Speaker 1: you have nothing to be scared of, because that's all
Speaker 1: you needed to do was study free test, do the
Speaker 1: best you can. If you get the test back and
Speaker 1: you got an F you don't need to freak out
Speaker 1: because you live in advanced infinite universe with literally infinite
Speaker 1: systems and methodologies. For you to become the happy, successful
Speaker 1: person that you desire to become doesn't necessarily have to
Speaker 1: be within the structure of this education system. I do
Speaker 1: genuinely believe all of that. So take the pressure off
Speaker 1: a little bit. But you know, studying, do your do
Speaker 1: you fucking work all right? What's going on in Saudi
Speaker 1: Arabia is Saudi Arabia chill ummm. So someone said, how
Speaker 1: do you expect to be taken seriously when you're shirtless?
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't expect to be taken seriously at all.
Speaker 1: I actively actively would like to not be taken seriously.
Speaker 1: Ah okay, subject line, how a transgender milf hookup saved
Speaker 1: my relationship? Howdy, please call me worm. It's a bit
Speaker 1: of a long story, but I'll try to keep it brief.
Speaker 1: I'm in my twenties, kind of asexual, and currently unmedicated.
Speaker 1: Over the summer, I went cold turkey on my meds
Speaker 1: because I ran out of them before I received my
Speaker 1: next ones. I became sort of agitated and emotional during withdraws,
Speaker 1: and I was having some issues with my partner. I
Speaker 1: had been thinking of this before, and we discussed it,
Speaker 1: but I wanted to try hooking up with someone simply
Speaker 1: because I hadn't done it before and since my partner
Speaker 1: is also a sexual. They were totally supportive of this,
Speaker 1: which was great. I found a cool trans lady on
Speaker 1: the web I like what they called it the web,
Speaker 1: and set up a date with her. She was extremely
Speaker 1: nice and accommodating. We smoked a lot of weed and
Speaker 1: did the deed. I had a great time, but after
Speaker 1: this experience I had to have a difficult conversation with
Speaker 1: my partner about where our relationship was going. Fast forward
Speaker 1: about a week we took edibles and watched Rocky Horror
Speaker 1: Picture Show. Pretty much fixed most of our problems. Fast
Speaker 1: forward another couple weeks. We're at my partner's parents' house
Speaker 1: having sex for the first time. It was swag. We're
Speaker 1: doing great now, better than we were probably before this happened.
Speaker 1: Love you, Lyle, keep gecking. Okay, so you're basically what
Speaker 1: you're saying is that you were a sexual will and
Speaker 1: then you tried it and you were like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is actually pretty nice. That's kind of interesting. I get
Speaker 1: this is like I'm not good at metaphors, but whatever. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess is that a thing like
Speaker 1: you just you're just asexual but you never maybe if
Speaker 1: you're I get, is that how many? I do wonder
Speaker 1: that with like asexual people, Like how many? How many
Speaker 1: are there? Like what's the makeup between asexual people who
Speaker 1: are like I just never had any interest versus tried it?
Speaker 1: Not for me asexual people? I do wonder, but I
Speaker 1: don't know. I guess that's why you wrote kind of asexual,
Speaker 1: because you were not asexual enough that you were like,
Speaker 1: let's give let's give sex a try. And now you're
Speaker 1: having sex and smoking weed and you are going to
Speaker 1: probably go to hell because of that. But you know,
Speaker 1: at least you'll have fun on the way over there.
Speaker 1: Good for you, worm, good for you. Okay, let's see
Speaker 1: this is from killing. When I'm upset, I'll buy a
Speaker 1: whole mini tub of frosting and eat it over the
Speaker 1: span of the week. Okay, before I finish this email.
Speaker 1: One of the luxuries that I indulge in from time
Speaker 1: to time. I actually got this from my sister is
Speaker 1: I will buy a tub of icing, like vanilla icing
Speaker 1: or even chocolate icing. I will buy pretzel sticks and
Speaker 1: I will eat. I will dip the pretzel sticks in
Speaker 1: the icing, and it's it's awesome. It's great. Don't do it,
Speaker 1: it will it will make your life worse. Okay, Anyway,
Speaker 1: when I'm upset, I'll buy a whole mini tep of
Speaker 1: frosting and eat it over the span of a week.
Speaker 1: One time I got Halloween frosting, and when I ate it,
Speaker 1: my shit would come out blue. Yet I still kept
Speaker 1: eating the frosting because I have free will, so fuck everyone,
Speaker 1: I'll eat what I want. My shit kept coming out
Speaker 1: blue until after like two weeks. I'd like to assume
Speaker 1: I look like a smurf on the inside. Surprisingly, I
Speaker 1: don't have diabetes. I don't know how, but it's okay.
Speaker 1: I don't want diabetes. You know, I'm brother, you know brother,
Speaker 1: killing I'm with you. I don't. I heard I'm a
Speaker 1: I'm a stavros helkiest pod fan, and I heard him
Speaker 1: say on a podcast something like he said something like,
Speaker 1: if I don't have diabetes, I don't know what it's
Speaker 1: gonna take. And I fucking identified with that at so
Speaker 1: much because I really do feel like, if I don't
Speaker 1: have diabetes, what the fuck is it gonna take? Because
Speaker 1: I have done that ice. I've been on a fucking
Speaker 1: tear before of sweets and candy and sugar and all
Speaker 1: that shit, and uh, I don't know. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: eat less of it, but we'll see if I ever
Speaker 1: get diabetes. What a way to end this podcast. That
Speaker 1: was a little ominous. Maybe that wasn't the best way
Speaker 1: to end this podcast, but it's gonna have to be
Speaker 1: well that was it. That was gek mail. That's the
Speaker 1: end of reading males. I think this was good. I
Speaker 1: don't I think this was good. I ran to you
Speaker 1: ever talk for so long that you're like, what the
Speaker 1: fuck did I just say? You just getting When you
Speaker 1: talk for this long, you just get in a trance.
Speaker 1: You don't think too much about what you're saying. You
Speaker 1: just you just expec this is, this is These podcasts
Speaker 1: are really just like an hour and a half of
Speaker 1: me challenging myself to expel words out of my mouth
Speaker 1: for as long as I feel like I can. And
Speaker 1: I am delighted that people seem to enjoy it, because
Speaker 1: for me, it's an exercise in expelling words out of
Speaker 1: my mouth. But I think it's good to do that exercise.
Speaker 1: See if you can expel words out of your mouth
Speaker 1: like I'm doing it right now. I'm just talking. There's
Speaker 1: no substance to anything I'm saying right now, or maybe
Speaker 1: there is. Okay, all right, does anyone does anyone in
Speaker 1: the chat have anything that any questions? Before we go?
Speaker 1: Someone said, uh, I like to cover myself in sugar
Speaker 1: and get off to ants looking and biting me. All right,
Speaker 1: that's it. That's the end of the podcast. Thank you
Speaker 1: for listening, uh ghek bless you and have a good
Speaker 1: rest of your entire life and your entire day. I
Speaker 1: don't know what you're doing while you're listening to this podcast,
Speaker 1: but I don't know. Go oudside, just godside. Don't look
Speaker 1: at your phone. Please stop look at your phone. I
Speaker 1: know you're probably listening to this on a phone, but
Speaker 1: now that this is over, just put your phone in
Speaker 1: your house or something and go outside without it and
Speaker 1: just walk around and keep doing that and never look
Speaker 1: at your phone ever again, because it's bad. The internet
Speaker 1: is bad, all right, Thank you bye? Think it goes
Speaker 1: on the line, taking your phone calls every night, everything
Speaker 1: goes to side. He's teaching you aloud in the of
Speaker 1: your line.
Speaker 2: He's not an expert.