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Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, what's up?

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Speaker 2: Is this?

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Speaker 3: Ghat?

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Speaker 1: It is is? Amber?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Oh my gosh, hi gek, I don't here having

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Speaker 2: an amazing night being a get.

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Speaker 1: Thank you very much. That's very sweet of you to say,

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Speaker 1: what's going on with you? Amber?

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Speaker 2: Oh, I'm I'm doing excellent. I'm just extremely nervous. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: don't be nervous.

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Speaker 1: Don't be nervous. You know what it's like, I'm in

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Speaker 1: this I'm in this mood where like I almost wish

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Speaker 1: that we could take both of our hearts and add

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Speaker 1: them together and divide them by two, so that way

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Speaker 1: we're both like a little bit because right now my

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Speaker 1: heart's at rest, I'm chilling. I'm maybe even too chilling.

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Speaker 1: I'm maybe even two relaxed right now. And then it

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Speaker 1: sounds like you're the opposite. So maybe we find the

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Speaker 1: way that we meet in the middle and we're both

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Speaker 1: sort of like just excited enough that we can have

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Speaker 1: a selling conversation with one another. Is there a way

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Speaker 1: for us to do that? Do you think?

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Speaker 2: I love that idea so much? Like I'm pretty sure

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Speaker 2: my heart rates out like one thirty. I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I'm just I panic.

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Speaker 1: Well, listen, Amber, it says you. You're you're wondering what

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Speaker 1: your first tattoo should be. That's what you would like

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Speaker 1: to talk about.

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Speaker 4: Yep.

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Speaker 2: I've been wanting to get a tattoo for like five years,

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Speaker 2: and I cannot.

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Speaker 1: Commit what What is it that is compelling you to

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Speaker 1: want to get a tattoo.

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Speaker 2: I just love art, I guess, and I want to

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Speaker 2: have a piece of art on my body forever. And

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Speaker 2: so like a long time ago, I wanted to get

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Speaker 2: this tattoo that would say ACE, but it would stand

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Speaker 2: for like always strive and prosper. But like after four

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Speaker 2: years of thinking about it, I've changed my mind and

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Speaker 2: now I'm just too afraid to get something because I

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Speaker 2: don't know what is like consistent in my life?

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Speaker 1: See that, you know, I don't. I don't have any tattoos.

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Speaker 1: And that's exactly the reason why, is because I can't imagine.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you're since year twenty, and you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: this tattoo when you're eighty. So it's got to you know,

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Speaker 1: what is going to be the thing that you identify

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Speaker 1: with now that you will still be identifying with sixty

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Speaker 1: years from now? You know, is there even anything? Is?

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Speaker 1: Is there anything? That you can be so sure that

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Speaker 1: will still be relevant to.

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Speaker 5: Your life by then, dude, exactly, like literally a year ago,

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Speaker 5: like my life just got flipped and now and I

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Speaker 5: kind of went through an identity crisis.

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Speaker 2: And now I'm just like chilling on Earth. But I

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Speaker 2: I don't know everything that I love. Like I used

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Speaker 2: to play soccer and then I tore both my acls

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Speaker 2: and like I'm getting surgery and quitting that and all

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Speaker 2: that stuff.

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Speaker 6: But yeah, well hold.

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Speaker 1: On, hold on, hold on, tell me, tell me why

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Speaker 1: did why did your life get completely flipped around? What happens?

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Speaker 7: Okay?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so, like I had been playing soccer my whole

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Speaker 2: life and sad, my voice is shaky, I'm like really nervous.

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Speaker 1: But no sound perfect playing.

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Speaker 2: And then I I tore both my acls, like at

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Speaker 2: two different times. I didn't even know about the other,

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Speaker 2: like one of them until I got the other one

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Speaker 2: checked out. And then I just learned I was gonna.

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Speaker 5: Like have to quit soccer because of it.

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Speaker 2: And I didn't realize how much of my identity it

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Speaker 2: was in that. I just kind of, yeah, I had

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Speaker 2: a hard time like dealing with that and struggle, but

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Speaker 2: I'm doing better now and it's been a year.

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Speaker 1: Hmmm, yeah, yeah, this is uh, this is an interesting concept.

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Speaker 1: This is definitely something I want to talk about. I

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Speaker 1: always I think about that all the time, like trying

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Speaker 1: not to put all of your identity eggs into one basket,

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Speaker 1: because that's just that's a recipe for disaster.

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Speaker 8: Right.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like that's what happened to you. You put

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Speaker 1: too much of your identity into soccer, and then soccer

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Speaker 1: went away, and then you know, it kind of fucked

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Speaker 1: up for a little bit.

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Speaker 6: M I didn't even realize how much of my identity

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Speaker 6: was in it until I quit, and then I was

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Speaker 6: like super sad. But yeah, and also just not being

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Speaker 6: like able to like physically get around as well was

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Speaker 6: probably contributing to it.

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Speaker 1: But well, so tell me, tell me how. You tell

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Speaker 1: me how you realized that so much of your identity

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Speaker 1: was tied up in soccer.

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Speaker 6: Uh, I guess, like without getting too dark, I just.

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Speaker 2: After I tore it and quit, like I just got

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Speaker 2: really I guess depressed or something, but I wasn't. I

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Speaker 2: just kind of isolated myself because I've always tried to

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Speaker 2: like portray myself as like a really strong, outgoing person,

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Speaker 2: which I am, but whenever I was struggling, I didn't

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Speaker 2: let anyone see, which kind of made it worse. And

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Speaker 2: now it's like a year later and I feel like

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Speaker 2: a totally different person, but it's hard to show that,

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Speaker 2: especially because I kind of like fell off the grade

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Speaker 2: a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Well, so hold on, So I want to get back

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Speaker 1: to the crux of that question. What parts of your

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Speaker 1: identity were tied up in soccer.

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Speaker 5: I guess like.

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Speaker 2: A lot of my happiness and my personality came out

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Speaker 2: when I was playing with my friends, Like I'm really like,

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Speaker 2: I guess, goofy and just like silly, and I could

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Speaker 2: be that way on the field, but it's not like

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Speaker 2: as easy in the classroom. Like I'm in college right now,

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Speaker 2: and I really it's it's killing me.

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Speaker 5: It's so hard.

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Speaker 2: But like I guess that was my place where I

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Speaker 2: could really be myself and be like just goofy. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but it's not as easy me for reason, in a classroom.

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Speaker 2: And I also just I loved playing like so much,

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Speaker 2: and I was like a soccer coach for seven years,

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Speaker 2: Like it was such a big part of my growing up.

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Speaker 2: So I think it was just because like growing up,

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Speaker 2: I put a lot of time into it.

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Speaker 1: So you said that when you found out you couldn't

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Speaker 1: play anymore, you got very depressed because a lot of

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Speaker 1: you know, your identity was staked up in this. And

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Speaker 1: then you said that it's been a year and you're

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Speaker 1: feeling a lot better now. Is that is that correct?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Tell me what happens in that year that made you

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Speaker 1: feel better.

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Speaker 2: Let's see, probably, like Mary Jane, No, just kidding, but.

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Speaker 1: No, I mean, don't I mean, if that if that's

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Speaker 1: if that's part of the answer, you can you can,

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Speaker 1: you know, tell me whatever the choice.

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Speaker 2: Is the answer for sure. But I definitely put a

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Speaker 2: lot of like, well, I just I did have my

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Speaker 2: boyfriend throughout the whole process, and like, without him, I

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Speaker 2: definitely would have been completely isolated. So spending time with

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Speaker 2: him is like my favorite activity. And then I also

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Speaker 2: started to kind of explore other hobby and interest like

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Speaker 2: music and stuff, right right.

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Speaker 1: So I was gonna ask, you know, aside from you know,

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Speaker 1: smoking weed and hanging out with your boyfriends, were there other,

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Speaker 1: uh sort of things that you used to rebuild your identity.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know, gek, I'm that's a great question.

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Speaker 2: I'm still kind of trying to piece together my identity.

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Speaker 2: And that's kind of my plans for the summer because

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Speaker 2: I haven't really had the time to like slow down

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Speaker 2: since last August and like since I got knee surgery

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Speaker 2: in December, and I've been really busy, Like I'm an

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Speaker 2: RA at school, so like I was putting a lot

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Speaker 2: of like I was basically having to act really happy

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Speaker 2: and like okay, especially for my residents and stuff. And

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Speaker 2: it was my first year as an RA. But I yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know, I uh.

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Speaker 1: No, it does it? Does? You know? I kind of

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Speaker 1: want to level with you on this because I this is,

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Speaker 1: like I said earlier, this is the thing I think

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Speaker 1: about all the time, you know. I mean, I'll, i'll

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Speaker 1: sort of, you know, give you my experience with this. Uh. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: I'm an internet gecko, and doing this takes up a large, large,

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Speaker 1: large amount of my brain power and my thoughts throughout

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Speaker 1: the day. And you know, when I see somebody from

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Speaker 1: my personal life that I haven't seen in a little bit,

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Speaker 1: it's the first thing that, you know, we start talking about.

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Speaker 1: So it's it's really inherently made up a lot of

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Speaker 1: my identity. And I noticed that, and I try to

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Speaker 1: nip that in the butt as best as I can,

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Speaker 1: which is hard because like you want to have an identity,

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Speaker 1: you want to have things in your life, like soccer

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Speaker 1: or being a gecko that you know, contribute to your

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Speaker 1: life and make you who you are because you want

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Speaker 1: to be someone or something. You want to be able

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Speaker 1: to know who you are a little bit. And so

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Speaker 1: we're using these things as ways to know who we are.

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Speaker 1: And I don't have like an answer for this or

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Speaker 1: an opinion on whether or not it's a problem, but

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Speaker 1: I think about it a lot because I don't know

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Speaker 1: when the hell. I don't know how long I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be able to be a gecko for I don't know

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Speaker 1: how safe it is necess early to stake so much

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Speaker 1: of my identity into this, and so I try to

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Speaker 1: make an active effort to not base so much of

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Speaker 1: my identity into it. And so I have like a

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Speaker 1: thought experiment that I'm always doing where I'm like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: what if I wasn't this, you know, how would I

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Speaker 1: navigate myself and navigate the world. And I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: base my identity more in my like philosophies of how

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Speaker 1: I want to maneuver the world like, you know, I

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Speaker 1: want to think of myself as adventurous, resourceful, open minded

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Speaker 1: things like that that are more so like traits about

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Speaker 1: myself that you know, whether or not any sort of

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Speaker 1: specific thing in my life, whether it's you know, being

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Speaker 1: a gecko or you know before where I was a

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Speaker 1: get go I was. I did stand up comedy for

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Speaker 1: a while, and I realized I hated it, and I

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Speaker 1: had a little bit of an identity crisis because I

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Speaker 1: put so much of my identity into that, and I

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Speaker 1: had to I had to move on from that. But

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Speaker 1: if I sort of cling to more like general broad

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Speaker 1: philosophies of ways in which I want to live my

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Speaker 1: life or approach the world, then I've got a little

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Speaker 1: bit better of a of a I've got a little

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Speaker 1: bit more of an evergreen toolkit to operate from. Then

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Speaker 1: if I just base my identity on you know, being

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Speaker 1: part of this club or you know, doing this specific thing,

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Speaker 1: like like being a geck or playing soccer, so I've

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Speaker 1: been focusing a lot on that. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: that makes any sense.

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Speaker 2: No, that's beautiful, Geg, I totally agree. Like I feel like, honestly,

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Speaker 2: the identity crisis was probably inevitable because I was gonna

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Speaker 2: quit soccer eventually, like probably when I stopped playing in

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Speaker 2: college and had to get a job, and like I'm

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Speaker 2: probably gonna have time for it. So like, I guess

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Speaker 2: I'm just grateful that it. I'm kind of grateful it happened.

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Speaker 2: Like it's totally for me to grow and I don't

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Speaker 2: want my whole identity to be in like a sport,

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Speaker 2: So I'm happy for it. It just took a while

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Speaker 2: to accept it, but yeah, I definitely feel a lot

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Speaker 2: better about it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I'm so glad that you're looking at

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Speaker 1: it like that as an opportunity because I think the

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Speaker 1: the more experiences you have in your life of everything

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Speaker 1: crumbling down, and then you can look at your life

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Speaker 1: and be like, oh, well, two years ago I was

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Speaker 1: all about this, and then two years before that I

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Speaker 1: was all about this other thing. So using that information

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Speaker 1: from the past, I can gather that two years from now,

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Speaker 1: I might very well be all about something else. And

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Speaker 1: it makes you sort of cling to whatever you're about

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Speaker 1: now a little bit less. But you know, before we

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Speaker 1: before we go, uh, what were some things about, because

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Speaker 1: you know, I was started talking about building a more

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Speaker 1: evergreen toolkit to to cling to than any sort of

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Speaker 1: any sort of concrete club or whatever you or whatever

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Speaker 1: it would be. But what were some sort of evergreen

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Speaker 1: things about you or skills that you got from soccer

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Speaker 1: that you can kind of take with you even if

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Speaker 1: soccer itself is gone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say, yeah, soccer helped me up lot

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Speaker 2: develop like social skills and like leadership, Like I got

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Speaker 2: to be the captain a couple of years, and just

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Speaker 2: like I played my my favorite position is on the field,

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Speaker 2: but like I played goalie too, and just like commanding

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Speaker 2: the field, like I guess has kind of taught me

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Speaker 2: to command things in life as well, or just to

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Speaker 2: lead people. And I think that influenced me to be

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Speaker 2: an ra right now. But there there's a lot of

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Speaker 2: like stuff I've learned from it. But I definitely I

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Speaker 2: miss the people, like I had a hard time. I

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Speaker 2: have a hard time finding friends now because like all

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Speaker 2: my friends were my soccer teammates. So I just am

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Speaker 2: trying to find like a new thing. I guess, Like

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Speaker 2: I really love music, but there's not really any music clubs,

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Speaker 2: so like I'm trying to like sound one or something.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, you should you should start one. That's

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Speaker 1: the best way to the best way to uh find

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Speaker 1: the best and an even better way to make friends

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Speaker 1: than joining clubs is to start them. I've I've found,

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Speaker 1: I know, because then you are because then everything sort

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Speaker 1: of revolves around you and then and then you know.

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Speaker 1: And I think you can do it because you have,

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Speaker 1: as you said, these leadership skills that you learned from

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Speaker 1: soccer that that I think could bode you well in

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Speaker 1: doing that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I feel like I would definitely. Like the

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Speaker 2: only other thing I wanted to mention too, is like

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Speaker 2: one thing holding me back a little bit is like

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Speaker 2: I have this thing called hyper hydrosis. Have you ever

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Speaker 2: heard of it?

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Speaker 1: I haven't. What is it?

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Speaker 2: It's just like excessive sweatings basically, and like the hands

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Speaker 2: and like armpits basically, and it's an actual condition, and

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Speaker 2: like I am so self conscious about it, and especially

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Speaker 2: like the reason I don't want to start a club, well,

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Speaker 2: part of that is just like being so self conscious

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Speaker 2: about my freaking floody hands and.

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Speaker 5: Like and so what he paid and stuff.

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Speaker 2: I just cad like right.

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Speaker 1: Now, Well, Amber, oh no, it's okay, man, Well Amber, listen,

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Speaker 1: I think we should go but I think that the

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Speaker 1: skills that you've learned from doing your soccer stuff, I

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Speaker 1: think that, Uh. I think that you can start a

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Speaker 1: club if you want to. I think that that's within you,

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Speaker 1: so I think you should go do that. I don't

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Speaker 1: think anybody. I don't think anybody is going to care

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Speaker 1: about how much you sweat.

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Speaker 2: Really, Oh my gosh, that's that's so relieving to hear.

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Speaker 2: But maybe they don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't think anybody's going to care. But I thank

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Speaker 1: you very much for calling Amber.

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Speaker 2: Thanks Greg, I love you.

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Speaker 1: Uh, super interesting call again. A building a diversified life portfolio, Leo,

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Speaker 1: is something that I'm always thinking about for myself because

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Speaker 1: I every day I think about, like, you know, what

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Speaker 1: would I do with my life if I weren't doing

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Speaker 1: this and I'm trying to. You know, I get a

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Speaker 1: lot of confidence out of doing this, and that's on

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Speaker 1: one hand awesome, but then on another hand dangerous in

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Speaker 1: my opinion, because I don't I don't like confidence or

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Speaker 1: any of these other positive life attributes to come from

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Speaker 1: something external. Because as as what happened to Amber with

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Speaker 1: you know, try, I think she she had an injury

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Speaker 1: of some kind that prevented her from playing soccer. Soccer

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Speaker 1: was taken away from her. Anything can happen that can

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Speaker 1: fuck with whatever external thing you're getting your your good

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Speaker 1: feelings from. So I try to I try to limit that.

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Speaker 1: It's it's it's hard, man. It's hard because on one hand,

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Speaker 1: it's a positive, beautiful thing to interact with the world

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Speaker 1: and all of its external goodies, and to get positive

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Speaker 1: things from those external goodies, whether that be a career

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Speaker 1: or a club or a friendship or romantic relationship. And

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Speaker 1: you know, I guess, I guess we should be getting

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Speaker 1: positive things from external sources. But on the other hand,

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Speaker 1: we don't want those external things to kind of be

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Speaker 1: in charge of us or to hold all of our

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Speaker 1: all of our eggs in their basket. So we got

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Speaker 1: to play a kind of tiptoeing game between building up

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Speaker 1: our confidence, leadership skills, social skills, what.

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Speaker 8: Have you.

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Speaker 1: Independently of any sort of external thing, but also enjoying

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Speaker 1: the external things when we are privileged enough to have

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Speaker 1: them in our lives.

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Speaker 9: Hello.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Hey, is this Shane?

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Speaker 8: This is him?

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Speaker 1: What's going on? Shane?

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Speaker 8: Well, I wanted to talk about a problem I'm having

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Speaker 8: at work. I work in an office and I've been

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Speaker 8: I've been collecting. Well, let's come out and say it.

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Speaker 8: I've been collecting my boogers for the last ten years.

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Speaker 8: And there's about to be some changes coming. And I

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Speaker 8: think it's not something that I do openly obviously at

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Speaker 8: the Tedden, and I think something's about to happen where

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Speaker 8: it's going to get discovered. And I don't quite know

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Speaker 8: what to do because it's so big that it's it's

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Speaker 8: going to be noticed, and I don't know, I don't

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Speaker 8: know how I'm going to deal with this.

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Speaker 1: Where have you been collecting these boogers?

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Speaker 8: It's underneath my chair. So when I say changes, they're

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Speaker 8: getting us new chairs and it's pretty much taken up

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Speaker 8: most of the bottom of the chair and and they're

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Speaker 8: just all there. And it's not like I was set

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Speaker 8: out to like, oh, I want to make a booger collection.

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Speaker 8: It was I've never worked in an office before, and

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Speaker 8: you know, I just I just it's just something. Yeah,

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Speaker 8: And you know you're just sitting there and can't breathe,

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Speaker 8: and you're like, well, I need to pick my nose,

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Speaker 8: and I don't really want to go mess around with

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Speaker 8: a Kleenex or anything. I'll just put them right here.

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Speaker 8: And you do that enough and then you can start

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Speaker 8: to feel as like, oh, well, you know, I got

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Speaker 8: a bunch down there. And then I was like, well

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Speaker 8: this maybe this is getting out of hand. Let me

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Speaker 8: see what I got going on. And then after you know,

356
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Speaker 8: we're talking years, it's like, whoa, I'm covering up down

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Speaker 8: there at the whole bottom of the chair.

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Speaker 1: And so why do you feel like you are about

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Speaker 1: to be discovered?

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Speaker 8: Well, we're getting we're getting new chairs, and the people

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Speaker 8: bringing them in are going to have to dispose of

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Speaker 8: the old chairs, and somebody is going I mean, I

363
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Speaker 8: just don't know how they're not going to notice it.

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Speaker 8: It's it's if you look at it, it's out of control.

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Speaker 8: I mean, the whole bottom of the chair is covered

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Speaker 8: in boogers.

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Speaker 1: So are the people who are replacing the chairs the

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Speaker 1: same people as the people that work in your office.

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Speaker 8: Not necessarily, but they'll they'll know them, They'll they'll have

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Speaker 8: interactions with because because that's part of the cleaning crew.

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Speaker 8: So they come in every now and then, like you know,

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Speaker 8: once a week, so they know some of the people.

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Speaker 8: So you know, it could be I could say, oh,

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Speaker 8: good lord, you know, like, do you know what this

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Speaker 8: guy does? And then I won't know if they're talking

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Speaker 8: about me or not necessarily worried about them talking about me.

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Speaker 8: But it just that's this subject not necessarily the best

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Speaker 8: thing in the world.

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Speaker 1: Have you considered replacing the chair yourself before anyone else

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Speaker 1: comes to replace it?

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Speaker 8: Yeah, I guess what I would have to do is

382
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Speaker 8: find the correct model. I haven't even thought about that.

383
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Speaker 8: I guess I could just get find the chair that

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Speaker 8: looks identical and try to, you know, to cover of darkness,

385
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Speaker 8: try to try to get that the booger chair out

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Speaker 8: of there and then dispose of it to where nobody

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Speaker 8: can see it.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, mm hmmm. Why are you afraid of people

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Speaker 1: knowing that you collect your boogers?

390
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Speaker 8: Well, I don't want to be. I don't want to

391
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Speaker 8: be the booger guy. I don't want to be like

392
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Speaker 8: go look at him. You know, it's it's kind of

393
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Speaker 8: a taboo. I mean, I mean, it's a bodily function,

394
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Speaker 8: you know. I mean everybody's got them, you know, I mean,

395
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Speaker 8: you think about some of the most attractively in the

396
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Speaker 8: worth somebody at some point they've got to blow their

397
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Speaker 8: nose you know, you get it. It's you know, your

398
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,560
Speaker 8: nose collects that stuff. And for me, I just I

399
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Speaker 8: just bypassed the Kleenex and I put it in the

400
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Speaker 8: spot and it got it just got out of hand.

401
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 8: And you know, I just don't want to be the

402
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Speaker 8: bogger guy. I don't want everybody going.

403
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Speaker 1: So what what what is so wrong with being the

404
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: bigger guy?

405
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Speaker 8: Well, I don't know. I would just I think people

406
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Speaker 8: will have a heart time taking me. Seriously, if I

407
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Speaker 8: ever wanted to try to go up for promotion, like

408
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Speaker 8: if I'm having if my boss had me, they could

409
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Speaker 8: be like, you know, is it true that you've collected

410
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Speaker 8: your boogers underneath the chair? And you know, the thing is,

411
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Speaker 8: you know all the and this is where it's kind

412
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 8: of bad. But I didn't know this, but apparently booger's

413
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Speaker 8: got like after a period of time, they have like

414
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Speaker 8: a bacteria acidic component. So some of the chair has

415
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Speaker 8: been damaged. And if I don't replace the chair and

416
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Speaker 8: they notice that I've now I've damaged you know, company

417
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 8: property on top of it, you know, and well yeah,

418
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Speaker 8: and I mean getting rid of the chairs anyway, So

419
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Speaker 8: I don't think that's a big deal, But I don't

420
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Speaker 8: want to, like you know, you did you, I don't know.

421
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 8: It's just I think it's because it's so much like

422
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Speaker 8: if there's just one or two and no big deal.

423
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Speaker 1: You know, approximately how many boogers do you believe are

424
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Speaker 1: on the chair?

425
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 8: I mean, I mean we've got to be in the

426
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Speaker 8: I mean, if you think, well once a week for

427
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,680
Speaker 8: and we're talking seasonal things, I mean, it's gotta be

428
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 8: at least three hundred, I mean at least three a

429
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 8: better condition.

430
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Speaker 1: Over ten years. Seems like it's not that many, considering

431
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 1: it's a ten year long pier.

432
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Speaker 8: Yeah, I mean I guess, you know, with erosion, and

433
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 8: since they are biological, I mean, some of them just

434
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:41,000
Speaker 8: kind of fade away, so there's probably like residual booger,

435
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 8: and you know they get new boogers on top of them.

436
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 8: So that's why the acid kind of heard. The bacteria

437
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 8: kind of eats away at the chair.

438
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Speaker 1: Can you clean the chair or are we beyond that?

439
00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:00,119
Speaker 8: If well, i'd have to get some chemicals because some

440
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 8: of them is hardened pretty pretty good. And like I said,

441
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,119
Speaker 8: it's it's starting to eat into the chair. You know,

442
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 8: some of the chair has got like that like the

443
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 8: cork kind of stuff and underneath them's kind of like, uh,

444
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 8: kind of like the stuff in between fake desk, you know,

445
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 8: and it would I mean if I cleaned it out.

446
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,200
Speaker 8: I mean if anybody nobody just noticed that just damaged

447
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 8: the chair, Like what were you doing down there? Like

448
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,360
Speaker 8: what were you picking at this all day long?

449
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:29,119
Speaker 1: I'm picking it well, Shane Shane Shane and Shane Shane.

450
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,920
Speaker 1: This is this two for you. I see two options.

451
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:40,159
Speaker 1: Option one is to let the people know that you

452
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:46,479
Speaker 1: are the booger guy. Two, Uh, dive headfirst into your

453
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 1: worst nightmare, wait until you get used to the water

454
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:58,119
Speaker 1: and realize it ain't so bad after all. Or m

455
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 1: you can go ahead and replace the chair yourself, thereby

456
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:10,920
Speaker 1: completely hiding the fact that you are the booger Guy

457
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:12,400
Speaker 1: to anyone except yourself.

458
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 8: Yeah. I think I think I'm gonna go with option too.

459
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 8: I think I can. I think I can get a

460
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 8: chair replacement. Nobody, no, man, I think I can do that.

461
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Maybe one day you will feel ready to

462
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 1: reveal your truth to the world. But if that day

463
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 1: is not today, I understand, I don't know.

464
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 8: I mean, sometimes I picked my nose and people have

465
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 8: caught me doing it, and like, but not where I

466
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 8: wipe it.

467
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: Just picking my nose, dude, I'll pick my nose on

468
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 1: right now. If that makes you feel better.

469
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 8: Yeah, I mean that'd be great. Maybe we can normalize

470
00:28:58,840 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 8: picking our nose.

471
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 1: There you go, there's a booger.

472
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 8: See now it's a little bit better about it. And

473
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:11,479
Speaker 8: first I was kind of embarrassed. I guess it's not

474
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 8: that big.

475
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,080
Speaker 1: Of a deal after all, Shane, is there anything you

476
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 1: want to say to the people of the computer before

477
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 1: we go?

478
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 8: Now? Just appreciate your help man, and you guys say

479
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 8: say that there.

480
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 1: Hey, thanks for calling Shane.

481
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 8: Thanks taking my call.

482
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 1: Right all right, So Shane afraid of being the bugger guy,

483
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 1: unaware of the almost certain fact that in his office

484
00:29:53,800 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 1: are almost certainly several several other people with his exact

485
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 1: same problem, possibly even people with more than three hundred

486
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 1: biggers under their chair. That's the thing. Everyone picks their nose. Everyone,

487
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 1: Everyone picks their nose. If you say that you don't,

488
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: you're lying. Everyone picks their nose. You have to, That's

489
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 1: what I'm what was his name was his name, Shane?

490
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 1: What was his name? Hold on, I'm just gonna say

491
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 1: the caller. That's what the caller was saying. He was like,

492
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 1: when I can't breathe and I need to clear a passageway,

493
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 1: I'll pick my nose. That's happened to everybody, and so

494
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 1: he should. He reveal himself as booger man might empower

495
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 1: other folks in the office to live their truth as well,

496
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:17,040
Speaker 1: because I can almost guarantee you that there is somebody

497
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 1: else in that office with just as much if not

498
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 1: more bogoger's under their chair as the caller. But he

499
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 1: won't do it. And I get why he won't do it.

500
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 1: I don't know if I would do it if I

501
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 1: were in his situation, but I hope he does whatever

502
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 1: he needs to to be able to sleep at night.

503
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:42,800
Speaker 8: Hello.

504
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 9: Hello, how are you? I'm doing all right? How are

505
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 9: you back?

506
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 1: I'm hanging in there. What is your life like?

507
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 9: I was actually very interested about the stuff you were

508
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:15,200
Speaker 9: just talking about kind of being able to remove like

509
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 9: the ego from external validation, because I think it's something

510
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 9: I personally struggle with. I think that like ties into

511
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 9: very well with the description the call screener gave you.

512
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 9: But I think it's hard to like fully remove yourself

513
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 9: from the world and like how the world influences you

514
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 9: and your mood and who you are. So it's interesting

515
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 9: hearing how you are trying to find more like self validation.

516
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, it is, uh something I think about every

517
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 1: fucking day. I don't have an opinion about it because

518
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 1: I'm still working through it consistently. But yeah, the idea

519
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 1: of removing the ego from its desire from external validation

520
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 1: is just like I wouldn't that be so freeing? Wouldn't

521
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 1: it be amazing? And there's a spectrum to it, I think,

522
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 1: because I definitely, you know, I am totally not removed

523
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 1: from external validation, but I can see myself, you know,

524
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 1: getting more there every year, so like, you know, it's

525
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:47,360
Speaker 1: it's a it's sort of a spectrum. But yeah, it's

526
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 1: very hard to do. But it's it's hard to do

527
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 1: because you want to be involved in the in in society,

528
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 1: and but you also don't want to let society, you know,

529
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 1: dictate how you feel about yourself. So what were you

530
00:33:59,240 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 1: going to say just now?

531
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 9: Yeah, I mean, you know, it's very interesting because when

532
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 9: you were talking about it before, a lot of the

533
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 9: things you're using to describe yourself were like your trade,

534
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 9: so like the things you're using to make money. And

535
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 9: I was wondering also how different you felt like when

536
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:23,360
Speaker 9: you start like finding like you feel different, finding that

537
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:27,319
Speaker 9: internal validation, Like does that like make you happier or like,

538
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:28,440
Speaker 9: how does that feel for you?

539
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 1: Hmm? I think that I feel ultimately the best when

540
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 1: I'm like laying and doing nothing and I'm just feeling

541
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:51,280
Speaker 1: like grateful and I'm uh, you know, being being kind

542
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:56,239
Speaker 1: to myself and I'm personally saying to myself, you know,

543
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 1: you know, all all the things that I would want

544
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:06,480
Speaker 1: to hear from other people, and you know, it feels

545
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,760
Speaker 1: it does feel really good when people say nice things

546
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:12,919
Speaker 1: to me. But I don't think it's it's sustainable because

547
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, if you don't believe

548
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,759
Speaker 1: those things about yourself, you know, other people can tell

549
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:21,000
Speaker 1: you them, but you know, the good feelings you get

550
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 1: from that are only going to last so long.

551
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:28,240
Speaker 9: Yeah.

552
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:30,400
Speaker 1: I think I can hear a TV.

553
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 9: So we're watching Formula one. I can turn it off.

554
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,319
Speaker 1: Formula one is that's racing, right?

555
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:40,800
Speaker 4: Yeah?

556
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 9: They had a TV show on Netflix recently about it.

557
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 9: For it's basically like a soap opera about the driver's

558
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:52,719
Speaker 9: lives and so I'm currently like super into it.

559
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 1: Who's your favorite driver?

560
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 9: I really like Carlos Sayin, he drives for Ferrari.

561
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 1: Carlos Sayins. What is what is compelling to you about

562
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 1: Carlos Saines.

563
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 9: He's really funny. So first of all, he's really funny,

564
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,879
Speaker 9: I won't lie. He's also pretty cute. I mean, half

565
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,000
Speaker 9: of watching Formula one is like all the drivers are attractive,

566
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 9: and it's like kind of like a reality show but sports.

567
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 1: See. I wonder if it's it can't possibly be a

568
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 1: coincidence that all the people that are are a good

569
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:37,440
Speaker 1: race car drivers are also attractive. There has to be

570
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 1: some sort of correlation there or or or some sort

571
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:45,759
Speaker 1: of meddling involved in the organizers of Formula One to

572
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 1: only pick the most attractive people to drive their race cars.

573
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:56,080
Speaker 9: I oh, it's all politics. Formula one is just so

574
00:36:56,520 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 9: like instidiously like it's all about money and politics and

575
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 9: you have to be like super rich in order to

576
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 9: even be able to afford a seat because you bring

577
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:05,920
Speaker 9: sponsors with you.

578
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:11,360
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, Skyler, we talked a lot about what the

579
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:14,399
Speaker 1: previous caller wanted to talk about. We've talked about formula one.

580
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 1: But apparently, according to uh what the call screener has

581
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,440
Speaker 1: written down, you have your own thing you want to

582
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:20,960
Speaker 1: talk about.

583
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:25,439
Speaker 9: Yeah, I yeah, okay, I think it kind of goes

584
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,800
Speaker 9: a little bit. That's what we were just talking about.

585
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 9: Where for like the last three years, every time I

586
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:39,320
Speaker 9: either like begin to start dating people or like, you know,

587
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 9: I'm shooting my shot with someone, I think we have

588
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:47,280
Speaker 9: a dynamic, I've gotten friend zoned. And this has happened

589
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:52,319
Speaker 9: about four years, four times in a row. And I'm

590
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 9: starting like a seasonal job next week where like I

591
00:37:56,160 --> 00:38:01,239
Speaker 9: live with my coworkers and I I'm trying to like

592
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 9: go into that. It's like I just need a different mindset,

593
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 9: you know, And I'm not sure what to do because

594
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:11,400
Speaker 9: I'm taking this as like external feedback.

595
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 1: M okay, So you're starting a new job. You know

596
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,880
Speaker 1: that you're going to be Uh you said it's a

597
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 1: seasonal job where you're living with your color. Is this

598
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 1: like a camp counselor gig.

599
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 2: Kind of we.

600
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 9: Like run a backcountry hostel, and like there's a ten

601
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,240
Speaker 9: different hostels in the system.

602
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,840
Speaker 1: Oh that's awesome. Damn. That sounds like it's gonna be

603
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 1: a lot of fun.

604
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:42,360
Speaker 9: Yes, yeah, I did it in the fall.

605
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, well so you've done it already.

606
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,279
Speaker 9: Yes, so I did it with the fall, And so

607
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 9: the summer people is basically like a fresh bunch of people.

608
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:56,879
Speaker 9: But like, you know, one of the people I got

609
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,239
Speaker 9: friends zoned by is coming back. You know.

610
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, okay, all right, so you are trying

611
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: to completely switch up your social strategy slash mindset.

612
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:20,120
Speaker 9: Yeah. Yeah, Like I'm just looking for a better approach.

613
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 1: What what kind of approach.

614
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 9: I'm gonna laugh at? I mean my current approach is like,

615
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:37,760
Speaker 9: you know, you flirt with someone by you know, laughing

616
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 9: with them. I think I have a hard time complimenting

617
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 9: people physically, so I don't like, maybe that would be

618
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:52,399
Speaker 9: a better approach for me, like more overt flirting rather

619
00:39:52,480 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 9: than just like you know, fucking around with them.

620
00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:58,279
Speaker 10: Or you know.

621
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 9: My other thought is just wait till they explicitly express

622
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 9: their intentions, you know, instead of like shooting my shot,

623
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:08,720
Speaker 9: let them shoot their shot first.

624
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:13,640
Speaker 1: Okay, so you said that you want to be more overt.

625
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 1: I think people in general, like when other people are

626
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 1: you know forward with them, you know, so I think

627
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 1: being being overt about your interest, you know, off the

628
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 1: bat is a good thing. Being overt with people from

629
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:48,920
Speaker 1: the beginning will be helpful to you in not getting

630
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 1: as you say, friend zoned.

631
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 9: Yeah, I mean I hate the term like friend zone obviously,

632
00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 9: but it's like I have like hooked up with people,

633
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,319
Speaker 9: you know, like we've hooked up like for like a

634
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 9: month or two, and then like a month or two

635
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:12,880
Speaker 9: into it, they're like, hey, I just want to be friends.

636
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:15,239
Speaker 1: And so oh okay, okay, this is so this is

637
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:18,000
Speaker 1: this is yeah, I guess the word yeah, no, this

638
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,239
Speaker 1: is that that that sounds like a whole other thing.

639
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 1: This is like, by the way, are you are you

640
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:26,799
Speaker 1: are these guys that you're hooking up with?

641
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:31,320
Speaker 5: It has been.

642
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 9: Two it's been fifty fifty Yeah, okay you guys?

643
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:39,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, all right, so all right, so you're not

644
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,840
Speaker 1: getting friends. So so this is a whole different thing.

645
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 1: This is you're hooking up with people and they say

646
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:45,880
Speaker 1: to you, I don't want to be in an actual relationship.

647
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 1: I just kind of want to hook up and be casual.

648
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 9: No, they're saying, I don't even want to hook up

649
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:53,840
Speaker 9: with you. They're like, we're hooking up and they're like,

650
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 9: i'd rather take out the benefits of this just be friends.

651
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 1: M h, what do you what do you want?

652
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:05,000
Speaker 9: I mean, I would like just like a reliable friends,

653
00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:08,239
Speaker 9: hook up friends with benefits situation, because I mean I'm

654
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:11,840
Speaker 9: not exactly looking for a relationship because I do seasonal

655
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 9: work and I'm going to be in different states like

656
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 9: three or four times a year. But I'm still having

657
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:25,279
Speaker 9: a hard time just achieving that, like and like they're

658
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:28,240
Speaker 9: breaking up with me while we're still at the seasonal

659
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 9: job with like you know, halfway through.

660
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, this does factor in a little bit

661
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 1: to what we were talking about, because, Okay, you're making

662
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:41,400
Speaker 1: your intentions up clear that you want to have, you know,

663
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 1: romantic sexual relationships with these people, not just you know,

664
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 1: platonic friendships. And it's always to make your intentions clear.

665
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 1: But once you've done that and they're like, okay, cool,

666
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 1: I'm down for that too, and then you guys do

667
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:57,799
Speaker 1: your thing. Uh you really have you really have no

668
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 1: control whatsoever over what they decide to do from there.

669
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 1: And that's that's a tough thing. That's what that's the

670
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:14,960
Speaker 1: that's the tough thing about the entire sphere of human existence.

671
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:21,640
Speaker 1: That is, that is the sexual romantic relationship sphere is

672
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:25,080
Speaker 1: that you really only have control over how you act

673
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:28,799
Speaker 1: on your side and then the other fifty percent is

674
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:36,360
Speaker 1: out of your damn hands. So maybe, uh, your quest

675
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:41,759
Speaker 1: is in acceptance of that fifty percent that is out

676
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 1: of your hands.

677
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,840
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's more of like because that's like terrifying. You know,

678
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 9: it's like I don't know, I.

679
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 1: Well, why is it? Well, why is it so terrifying

680
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 1: if it's out of your hands?

681
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 9: Well, in the sense for it's like you don't know

682
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:03,280
Speaker 9: the reason, you know what, like why do you know

683
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:07,880
Speaker 9: the reashow like well, because like aren't you supposed to

684
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 9: like grow and get better? Like this is feedback from

685
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:10,959
Speaker 9: a relationship.

686
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 6: Mm hmm.

687
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 9: You know, it's like someone's telling you, like, hey, like

688
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 9: I don't like we're doing this thing, and now I'm like,

689
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:19,799
Speaker 9: you know, I'm done with it, Like I don't feel

690
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 9: that way anymore. And it's like okay, and.

691
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 1: You're sitting there and you're going, You're sitting there, you going,

692
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 1: what did I do wrong? Please tell me?

693
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 8: Right?

694
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 5: Well, I mean.

695
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:37,399
Speaker 9: Yes, because it's hard.

696
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 1: They want but this this is they they're they're they

697
00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:45,799
Speaker 1: most most people, they're not gonna want to have that

698
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:48,520
Speaker 1: conversation with you because it's like a little bit uncomfortable.

699
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:53,680
Speaker 1: Whatever it is, Yeah, whatever the answer is. Whatever the

700
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:56,759
Speaker 1: answer is, though it's it's it's subjective, you know what

701
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 1: I'm saying, like, did you even do anything wrong? And

702
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:01,880
Speaker 1: then all so, why are you even assuming if somebody

703
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:03,719
Speaker 1: doesn't like it's, say you hook up with somebody after

704
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:07,480
Speaker 1: a while. Here's another thing that people just fucking totally

705
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:14,319
Speaker 1: never think about it all is Okay, let's say that

706
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 1: this person's you know, you're hooking up with the person,

707
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 1: they decide they don't want to, you know, talk to

708
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 1: you again, whatever, whatever, that's out of your control. Then

709
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:27,919
Speaker 1: how much of their decision to not want to see

710
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 1: you anymore is something that has to do with you

711
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:34,120
Speaker 1: versus something that has nothing to do with you? That's

712
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:39,839
Speaker 1: all them. You have no idea, And I guess your

713
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 1: quest for answers could be driven by a desire to,

714
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:51,239
Speaker 1: you know, gather feedback upon that you can use to

715
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 1: improve yourself. But how much of is is how much

716
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:57,480
Speaker 1: of it is it really? How much of it is

717
00:45:57,520 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 1: it really that you're looking for feedback upon which you

718
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 1: can of yourself versus a quest for answers simply to

719
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 1: quench your thirst for answers. I don't know, because I don't.

720
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not I'm not in your psyche. But

721
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:12,400
Speaker 1: I would just think about.

722
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:17,120
Speaker 9: That, Yeah, I mean I what makes me think like that?

723
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 9: It's like it's it's not it's a control thing almost

724
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 9: where it's like how do I set myself up for

725
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 9: success the next time? Or it's like putting up the

726
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 9: wall to prevent yourself from getting hurt. So it's like

727
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:30,080
Speaker 9: the Internet always teaches you. It's like you want to

728
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:34,600
Speaker 9: be like growing, hashtag driving, So it's like like getting

729
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:37,920
Speaker 9: the right feedback to grow and prevent this from happening

730
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 9: the next time. Does that make sense?

731
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 1: Here's the hard thing is how how how much of

732
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:47,280
Speaker 1: the ex how much of the workings of the external world,

733
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:50,440
Speaker 1: the decisions of other people are are are preventable? This

734
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:53,600
Speaker 1: is this is the great conflict of the of the

735
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 1: of the sexual, romantic sphere, of human existence, of relationships

736
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 1: and whatnot. Is uh, so much of what the other

737
00:47:02,239 --> 00:47:04,839
Speaker 1: person decides to do. We think of it as preventable

738
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 1: in some way, But it's it's fucking not. It's it's

739
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,840
Speaker 1: it's the fifty percent that's outside of your control. It's

740
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 1: it's it's not preventable by you. It's it's it's out

741
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:16,360
Speaker 1: of your control.

742
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:22,759
Speaker 9: Mm hmm, yeah, I guess that's the scary exciting part

743
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:23,440
Speaker 9: of it.

744
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:25,840
Speaker 1: In the end, what's your name against Skyler?

745
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:28,280
Speaker 9: Skyler?

746
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:35,600
Speaker 1: Skyler Skyler was this conversation of any amount of helpfulness

747
00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:35,840
Speaker 1: to you?

748
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,800
Speaker 9: What I'm hearing is that, I mean, it's just about

749
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:44,600
Speaker 9: accepting the unknown and like having a I know, it's

750
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:47,759
Speaker 9: about building back my confidence back up and knowing that

751
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:50,600
Speaker 9: you know, it's exciting, and that's half the fun of

752
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 9: like cooking up with people to see like excitement of it.

753
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:57,359
Speaker 1: I would just not stress so much about the The

754
00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:58,839
Speaker 1: final thing I'll say to you is I would just

755
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:03,840
Speaker 1: not stress so much about the aspects of this whole

756
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:07,759
Speaker 1: thing that are outside of your control. Whether or not

757
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:12,160
Speaker 1: people like you is outside of your control. You know,

758
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 1: you go and do the best that you can to

759
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:20,920
Speaker 1: be honest about your intentions to you know, be you know,

760
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 1: to present yourself to the world however you want to be,

761
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:30,080
Speaker 1: you know, presented. But everything outside of that, how you're received,

762
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 1: whether or not people want to hook up with you

763
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:35,440
Speaker 1: or be in a relationship or whatever it is, is

764
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 1: you have to just accept that it's outside of your

765
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,879
Speaker 1: control and not you know, get too worked up about it.

766
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 9: Yeah, no, you're right.

767
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:45,800
Speaker 1: Is there anything else that you want to say to

768
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:47,720
Speaker 1: the people of the Computer before we go? Skyler?

769
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:53,720
Speaker 9: I went to your first New York City live showing

770
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 9: my alanism she do before and yeah, it was really

771
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 9: cool me you and yeah, you're really I keep doing

772
00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 9: what you're doing. I really think you're helping a lot

773
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 9: of people tonight because I haven't called in since twenty twenty,

774
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:13,879
Speaker 9: so it's nice to talk to you again.

775
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:16,640
Speaker 1: Well, shit, thanks for watching so long. I appreciate it.

776
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 9: Yeah, have a good one and good night people the Computer.

777
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 1: Skyler Forever, I think all the time about why is

778
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 1: every like, like, why is every song about fucking sex

779
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 1: or love or some girl or some guy? Every every song,

780
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:44,919
Speaker 1: Every song is about some fucking girl, some fucking guy,

781
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:51,920
Speaker 1: some fucking thing. It's every song. Why Why are so

782
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:56,320
Speaker 1: many calls on this podcast about that as well? Because

783
00:49:56,320 --> 00:50:03,840
Speaker 1: it's a compelling part of human existence? Is us fucking

784
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:09,840
Speaker 1: each other? It's a compelling part of human existence. And

785
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:13,640
Speaker 1: that's why people get so down when other people, you know,

786
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:21,719
Speaker 1: when they experience conflict in that arena, and the hardest

787
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:27,320
Speaker 1: part of conflict in that arena is accepting that fifty

788
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 1: it is not up to you. But I hope Skyler,

789
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:39,040
Speaker 1: in any event, has fun at this hostile retreat thing.

790
00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:46,880
Speaker 1: It sounds it does sound like fun hanging out at

791
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 1: a hostel, playing monopoly, getting to look at the sun.

792
00:50:57,480 --> 00:50:59,360
Speaker 1: I don't know why I said that. I needed another

793
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,879
Speaker 1: thing to say. I needed another thing to say because

794
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:03,960
Speaker 1: we're doing a damn podcast, and part of doing a

795
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:09,920
Speaker 1: podcast is saying things. All right, thank you for calling Scyler.

796
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:20,120
Speaker 9: Hello, Hi, oh Hi, what's up?

797
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 7: Nothing much, just kind of folding and watching the stream.

798
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:34,080
Speaker 1: Folding like like life folding, like you're you you can't

799
00:51:34,120 --> 00:51:35,960
Speaker 1: take it anymore and you're you're folding.

800
00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:41,919
Speaker 2: No, it's not really that deep. I'm just folding.

801
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:49,239
Speaker 1: Clothes, folding close Maira, Uh, what is it that you

802
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:50,360
Speaker 1: called in to talk about today?

803
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:55,360
Speaker 2: So it's funny. Actually, so when.

804
00:51:57,520 --> 00:52:02,399
Speaker 7: Ever, since I was younger, I I have always been

805
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:07,239
Speaker 7: really really like a really deep sleeper. And it's been

806
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:14,319
Speaker 7: really hard because I've actually missed events and stuff like yesterday.

807
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 7: Yesterday I actually was going supposed to go out with

808
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 7: a friend and I couldn't wake up to my alarm,

809
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:30,520
Speaker 7: and she kept calling me and stuff, and I felt

810
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:34,200
Speaker 7: really really bad. We did eventually, I did, Like when

811
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:36,239
Speaker 7: I woke up, I called her immediately and was like,

812
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:38,440
Speaker 7: oh my gosh, I did you still want to go?

813
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:41,600
Speaker 7: And she's like yeah, and she forgave me. But I

814
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:43,080
Speaker 7: still feel really bad about it.

815
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:46,759
Speaker 1: What other events have you slept through?

816
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:53,440
Speaker 10: So it's okay.

817
00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:57,880
Speaker 7: When I was younger, I also I lived in Tennessee,

818
00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 7: and in Tennessee there were a lot of tornado where

819
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:01,840
Speaker 7: we were, and.

820
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:08,759
Speaker 9: So we had a little we had a little.

821
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:12,960
Speaker 7: Tornado closet in our basement to hide in whenever there

822
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:17,719
Speaker 7: was a tornado. And there were a couple times actually

823
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:23,000
Speaker 7: where my mom would drag me down from the second

824
00:53:23,040 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 7: floor to the basement into the tornado closet and I

825
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:29,280
Speaker 7: didn't wake up until the morning.

826
00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 10: So I would sleep through.

827
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:35,320
Speaker 7: A couple of tornadoes.

828
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:40,080
Speaker 1: Actually, you would sleep through tornadoes.

829
00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:46,760
Speaker 7: Yeah, I did sleep through a couple of tornadoes.

830
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:49,280
Speaker 10: Yeah.

831
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:57,080
Speaker 1: So you would go to sleep, yes, and then wake

832
00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:00,600
Speaker 1: up and look outside your window and there would just

833
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:02,800
Speaker 1: be all sorts of carnage, I assume.

834
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:07,759
Speaker 7: Yeah, So I would wake up and usually it'd be

835
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:10,560
Speaker 7: like our fence was. There was one time I slept

836
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:14,880
Speaker 7: through a tornado, one of the two, and the tree

837
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:18,120
Speaker 7: had actually fallen onto our fence and broken it and

838
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:20,439
Speaker 7: was in our yard like our neighbor's tree.

839
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:23,760
Speaker 2: And uh, the other time.

840
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:27,600
Speaker 7: I slept through a tornado. I actually, I like, I

841
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:33,200
Speaker 7: sometimes like fight in my sleep, if that makes any sense.

842
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:38,440
Speaker 7: So I punched my sister in the face and didn't wake.

843
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:39,520
Speaker 10: Up for that either.

844
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:43,560
Speaker 1: You punched your sister in the face in your.

845
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:52,480
Speaker 7: Sleep, yes, And I think I like, huh, was she

846
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:57,200
Speaker 7: upset with you? Yes, she was very upset with me,

847
00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:00,960
Speaker 7: but my mom told her to that I was asleep,

848
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:02,160
Speaker 7: so it was fine.

849
00:55:02,880 --> 00:55:04,400
Speaker 2: I did get into.

850
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:06,520
Speaker 9: A little bit of.

851
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:11,279
Speaker 7: Trouble though, because my mom, well not trouble is. Then

852
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 7: I got a punishment. She just kind of scolded me

853
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:19,400
Speaker 7: afterwards and was like, just stop doing crazy crap in

854
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:23,040
Speaker 7: your sleeve, which I couldn't.

855
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:28,080
Speaker 1: Help, right, So how did you respond to that scolding

856
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:30,759
Speaker 1: knowing that there was really nothing you could do to

857
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:31,640
Speaker 1: change your behavior?

858
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:41,879
Speaker 7: I I don't necessarily remember. I think I just kind

859
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:47,279
Speaker 7: of took it and went on. But yeah, it's been

860
00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 7: kind of getting a little difficult with this deep sleep

861
00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:54,520
Speaker 7: because I've actually, like I've said, I've missed events before.

862
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:57,600
Speaker 7: There was one time where my my friends, like a

863
00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:00,880
Speaker 7: couple of years ago where my friends went up to

864
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 7: my house and we're knocking on the doors and windows

865
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:09,319
Speaker 7: and I didn't hear anything. And yeah, and I think

866
00:56:09,440 --> 00:56:14,279
Speaker 7: also it it's been kind of a little bit difficult.

867
00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:17,000
Speaker 2: Like not only am I like naturally.

868
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:20,760
Speaker 7: A deep sleeper, but like a couple of years ago,

869
00:56:21,239 --> 00:56:26,719
Speaker 7: I was, Uh, I was pretty like in a depressed state.

870
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 7: And I think I've gotten over that. But I used

871
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:33,640
Speaker 7: to use sleep as my escapism so I didn't have to.

872
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:36,480
Speaker 2: The world around me.

873
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:40,040
Speaker 10: So I've been trying to get over that.

874
00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:47,200
Speaker 1: Sleep is a fantastic escape because it's almost like you're

875
00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:49,120
Speaker 1: dad a little bit, but you get to come back

876
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:53,880
Speaker 1: at the end. Yeah, what was it you want to

877
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:54,200
Speaker 1: ask me?

878
00:56:56,400 --> 00:57:00,920
Speaker 7: Oh, I just wanted some like advice as to like

879
00:57:02,320 --> 00:57:07,120
Speaker 7: how to get over it. I've tried a lot of alarms,

880
00:57:07,239 --> 00:57:10,319
Speaker 7: and usually before I go to sleep, I'll try to

881
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:13,480
Speaker 7: train myself to an alarm if I'm changing the sound,

882
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 7: and I'll be Uh, I'll listen to it for a

883
00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:17,959
Speaker 7: while and I'll tell myself.

884
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:18,520
Speaker 2: To wake up to it.

885
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:20,120
Speaker 5: But like it seems as.

886
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:27,840
Speaker 7: Though unless someone is like, I don't know, I I

887
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:29,520
Speaker 7: literally have no clue how to wake come.

888
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:37,320
Speaker 1: I have an idea for you, tell your sister. So

889
00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:39,720
Speaker 1: here's what you do. In order to make things right

890
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:43,560
Speaker 1: with your sister. You let her punch you in the

891
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:44,640
Speaker 1: face to wake you up.

892
00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:52,240
Speaker 7: That would be a nice idea, except I live with

893
00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:55,000
Speaker 7: two roommates and I'm out of the house now.

894
00:57:57,120 --> 00:58:03,280
Speaker 10: So should I call her.

895
00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:05,160
Speaker 7: To try to get her to come over in the

896
00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:06,760
Speaker 7: mornings and punch me in the face?

897
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:09,160
Speaker 1: How far away does she live from there?

898
00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:12,040
Speaker 7: An hour in thirty minutes.

899
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:15,280
Speaker 1: How badly do you think she would want to punch

900
00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:15,840
Speaker 1: you in the face?

901
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:21,560
Speaker 2: I don't know.

902
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:30,160
Speaker 10: She she gets pretty upset with me, so maybe quite

903
00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:30,440
Speaker 10: a bit.

904
00:58:33,840 --> 00:58:35,200
Speaker 1: I feel like this is a good way for you

905
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:37,960
Speaker 1: to both have a reliable way of waking up in

906
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 1: the morning and then also to make things right for

907
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 1: the ills that you might have caused in the past.

908
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 7: Yeah. I think that's some interesting advice. I might talk

909
00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:52,920
Speaker 7: to her about it.

910
00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:59,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, is there anything else that you want to say

911
00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:00,520
Speaker 1: to the people of the computer Ormira?

912
00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:09,680
Speaker 7: Remember to wear your seat belt and have a good night.

913
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling. Thank you you see that was

914
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:24,200
Speaker 1: you know, it sounds like a medical issue. That sounds

915
00:59:24,240 --> 00:59:26,880
Speaker 1: like a medical issue. Uh do I have any actual

916
00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:31,760
Speaker 1: advice as to how she can wake up? I mean, look,

917
00:59:31,760 --> 00:59:35,760
Speaker 1: the sister punching you in the face thing. I feel like, Uh,

918
00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:38,160
Speaker 1: you know, I think at first when I gave the

919
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:39,920
Speaker 1: advice it was a little bit in jest. But now

920
00:59:39,920 --> 00:59:42,560
Speaker 1: that I'm really thinking about it, kind of not that bad.

921
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:45,720
Speaker 1: Not that bad of an idea, except for the fact

922
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:47,560
Speaker 1: that she lives an hour and a half away. The

923
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 1: logistics of it don't work. Maybe one of her roommates

924
00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:58,360
Speaker 1: can punch her in the face. I guess, well, I

925
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:00,280
Speaker 1: don't know. I guess getting punched in the face. Then

926
01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:03,480
Speaker 1: she'll get like a concussion, and then she'll sleep under

927
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 1: her concussion and then she might die. So, so, you

928
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:11,360
Speaker 1: know what, I take it all back. I take back

929
01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 1: my idea. Folks. It takes a you know, a humble

930
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:21,200
Speaker 1: gecko such as I to know when he's given bad advice.

931
01:00:21,280 --> 01:00:25,320
Speaker 1: And I'll low it up to it. Asking this girl

932
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:27,000
Speaker 1: to have her sister or a roommate puncher in the

933
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:32,040
Speaker 1: face not a good idea. Hopefully she sees a doctor.

934
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:38,920
Speaker 8: Cliff, Hey, it's the Gecko.

935
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:44,520
Speaker 1: How are you, Cliff, I'm doing well.

936
01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:45,200
Speaker 4: How are you doing?

937
01:00:46,600 --> 01:00:51,120
Speaker 1: I'm doing okay, man. You know I'm hanging in there.

938
01:00:52,040 --> 01:00:53,160
Speaker 1: What's going on with you?

939
01:00:55,680 --> 01:00:58,840
Speaker 4: Uh? Nothing much. I'm kind of packing up some stuff

940
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:01,760
Speaker 4: right now, could take to my girlfriends because I'm moving

941
01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:03,240
Speaker 4: in with her in a couple of weeks.

942
01:01:03,840 --> 01:01:04,760
Speaker 1: Are you excited about that?

943
01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:10,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm pretty excited. It's a lot of stuff to do.

944
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:13,840
Speaker 4: But yeah, new chapters and whatnot.

945
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 1: Tell me about the chapter you're leaving behind.

946
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:23,880
Speaker 4: Chapter and leaving behind was the first time I've ever

947
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:28,760
Speaker 4: lived really alone alone for Rosie's for the past year.

948
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:33,720
Speaker 4: After I got out of a divorce, I spent some

949
01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:38,919
Speaker 4: time to myself through a year. It was pretty nice.

950
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:40,640
Speaker 4: Played a lot of video games.

951
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:44,480
Speaker 1: So you enjoyed the time that you spent by yourself.

952
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 1: You weren't lamenting your divorce.

953
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:58,480
Speaker 4: The first few months. We're pretty lonely, honestly, but that's

954
01:01:58,600 --> 01:01:59,600
Speaker 4: time to really enjoy it.

955
01:01:59,680 --> 01:02:06,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so you got divorced, I met you met

956
01:02:06,680 --> 01:02:09,200
Speaker 1: a new and you met a new lady. How did

957
01:02:09,240 --> 01:02:12,360
Speaker 1: you meet this new lady?

958
01:02:13,200 --> 01:02:18,200
Speaker 4: Uh, it's through a mutual friend at work. We don't

959
01:02:18,200 --> 01:02:21,959
Speaker 4: really work together anymore, but a mutual friend at my job.

960
01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:26,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, and what what drew you to her?

961
01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:32,880
Speaker 2: Oh?

962
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:35,560
Speaker 4: I mean she was attractive first of all, so that

963
01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:42,560
Speaker 4: was nice and uh plus, yeah, that's a plus, and

964
01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:44,560
Speaker 4: we we just hit it off. I guess, I guess

965
01:02:44,600 --> 01:02:47,880
Speaker 4: there is chemistry. You know, when you speak to someone,

966
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:53,640
Speaker 4: when you feel there's something there, you know that just happens.

967
01:02:54,680 --> 01:02:55,080
Speaker 8: Mm hmm.

968
01:02:56,760 --> 01:02:58,520
Speaker 1: So you're moving in with her, and this is this

969
01:02:58,600 --> 01:03:03,560
Speaker 1: is not the first time that you have lived with

970
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:05,760
Speaker 1: a partner, because you lived with your wife.

971
01:03:05,760 --> 01:03:09,960
Speaker 4: Correct, No, no, yeah, yeah, I was married for quite

972
01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:13,000
Speaker 4: a while and you know, I've and I've lived with

973
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:15,840
Speaker 4: roommates and you know, right out of high school I

974
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:21,040
Speaker 4: moved in with a girl. Uh yeah, So really the

975
01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:24,120
Speaker 4: unique experience is living on my own.

976
01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:30,960
Speaker 1: And are there things that you think you will miss

977
01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:35,400
Speaker 1: about living alone once you move in with with your partner.

978
01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:40,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm gonna miss being able to play video games

979
01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:42,400
Speaker 4: whenever I want. And I'm gonna miss my cat.

980
01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:46,160
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you have to give the cat away.

981
01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:50,480
Speaker 4: That shows me a yeah, because well, look, I'm honestly

982
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:55,640
Speaker 4: allergic to her, but she's great. But the the onoman

983
01:03:55,720 --> 01:03:58,360
Speaker 4: I'm moving in with has three cats. And a dog,

984
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:01,080
Speaker 4: and I just I can't do that many animals. I'm

985
01:04:01,080 --> 01:04:02,960
Speaker 4: just going to give away this one that I have now,

986
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:05,280
Speaker 4: But it makes me sad. She's she's a good kitty.

987
01:04:05,960 --> 01:04:09,040
Speaker 4: Followed me out to the dumpster this morning, followed me

988
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:10,640
Speaker 4: all the way back inside.

989
01:04:10,240 --> 01:04:10,760
Speaker 7: Like a dog.

990
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:14,000
Speaker 4: She's a good kitty cat. She's a queen.

991
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:17,120
Speaker 1: Do you think do you think she's upset with you

992
01:04:17,160 --> 01:04:18,000
Speaker 1: about leaving her?

993
01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:22,640
Speaker 4: She doesn't know yet, you know, going to give me

994
01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:24,400
Speaker 4: that blank kitty cat stare. She doesn't know.

995
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:26,520
Speaker 1: Do you think do you think she'll be upset when

996
01:04:26,560 --> 01:04:28,720
Speaker 1: she sort of slowly finds it out?

997
01:04:30,720 --> 01:04:32,320
Speaker 8: Oh?

998
01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:34,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, she will.

999
01:04:34,840 --> 01:04:35,360
Speaker 9: It hurts.

1000
01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:38,680
Speaker 4: It hurts to think about to leave the kitty. You know,

1001
01:04:38,720 --> 01:04:40,200
Speaker 4: I'm going to give her to my exp My kids

1002
01:04:40,200 --> 01:04:42,920
Speaker 4: are going to have her, so you know, she's also

1003
01:04:42,960 --> 01:04:45,600
Speaker 4: going to realize that now she's stuck with a four

1004
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:48,640
Speaker 4: year old and that's not going to be any fun

1005
01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:49,080
Speaker 4: for her.

1006
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:52,520
Speaker 1: So yeah, so you give me to your kids, so

1007
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:56,800
Speaker 1: you're not so you're not explicitly giving her away and

1008
01:04:56,880 --> 01:04:59,560
Speaker 1: never seeing her again, you know, to some sort of

1009
01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:02,920
Speaker 1: strange or facility. You are giving her to your kids

1010
01:05:02,920 --> 01:05:05,600
Speaker 1: so you will see her again. At some point.

1011
01:05:07,800 --> 01:05:10,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll see her again at some point. I've just

1012
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:13,200
Speaker 4: grown really strangely attached to an animal in a way

1013
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:14,640
Speaker 4: that I never have before.

1014
01:05:15,960 --> 01:05:19,479
Speaker 1: Really, are you why do you feel like it's taken

1015
01:05:19,520 --> 01:05:22,080
Speaker 1: you this long to be attached to an animal? Have

1016
01:05:22,120 --> 01:05:24,760
Speaker 1: there been animals in your life previously who you just

1017
01:05:24,760 --> 01:05:26,080
Speaker 1: didn't feel as much chemistry with?

1018
01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:30,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've had I've had pets in the past.

1019
01:05:31,120 --> 01:05:31,520
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

1020
01:05:32,960 --> 01:05:35,320
Speaker 4: That's what I don't know. I hadn't thought about it.

1021
01:05:35,360 --> 01:05:37,920
Speaker 4: I talked to this cat. Yeah, I've had pets in

1022
01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:42,360
Speaker 4: the past. My ex wife had cats when I, you know,

1023
01:05:42,640 --> 01:05:45,800
Speaker 4: initially started dating her, and I started to take care

1024
01:05:45,840 --> 01:05:50,520
Speaker 4: of those animals, but those were hers, and oh clean

1025
01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:54,360
Speaker 4: has been mine and yeah, she's she's carried me through

1026
01:05:54,400 --> 01:05:55,280
Speaker 4: this time maybe.

1027
01:05:56,760 --> 01:05:59,240
Speaker 1: And how are you feeling about moving in with you know,

1028
01:05:59,760 --> 01:06:06,520
Speaker 1: move in with your girlfriend doesn't seem like it's as

1029
01:06:06,600 --> 01:06:13,160
Speaker 1: much of a hard shift as it is to be

1030
01:06:13,240 --> 01:06:15,840
Speaker 1: moving in with three cats and a dog.

1031
01:06:18,840 --> 01:06:24,080
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, especially if like you take four living creatures,

1032
01:06:24,960 --> 01:06:26,400
Speaker 4: usually at least one of them is going to be

1033
01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:29,480
Speaker 4: an asshole, right, And one of those cats is an asshole,

1034
01:06:30,040 --> 01:06:32,760
Speaker 4: and you have to get used to that. The dog's

1035
01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:33,280
Speaker 4: nice though.

1036
01:06:33,320 --> 01:06:34,000
Speaker 8: I like the dog.

1037
01:06:35,480 --> 01:06:36,200
Speaker 1: What kind of dog?

1038
01:06:36,440 --> 01:06:38,600
Speaker 4: But yeah, so much fur. It's a lot of fur.

1039
01:06:39,640 --> 01:06:41,000
Speaker 4: I'm going to be sick all the time.

1040
01:06:43,320 --> 01:06:46,040
Speaker 1: Cliff. I know that we've been talking about dogs and

1041
01:06:46,200 --> 01:06:50,400
Speaker 1: cats and whatnot this entire phone call, But is there

1042
01:06:51,480 --> 01:06:55,040
Speaker 1: sort of anything in particular that you you wanted to

1043
01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:55,919
Speaker 1: call in to talk about.

1044
01:06:59,400 --> 01:07:04,320
Speaker 4: I really called in because before the show you were

1045
01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:09,240
Speaker 4: talking about things that hinted at the nature of identity

1046
01:07:09,360 --> 01:07:13,400
Speaker 4: and who we are based on our experiences, and I

1047
01:07:13,440 --> 01:07:15,640
Speaker 4: thought you would ask about that, and so that's kind

1048
01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:18,880
Speaker 4: of why I called because sometimes I have a lot

1049
01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:23,000
Speaker 4: to say about that. But I'm good with Captain Doggs.

1050
01:07:22,640 --> 01:07:27,880
Speaker 1: Too, m So we could either talk about cats and

1051
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:31,840
Speaker 1: dogs or the very nature of our identity.

1052
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:42,000
Speaker 4: Oh, do you think there's anything like permanent about who

1053
01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:46,240
Speaker 4: you are that is the same your entire.

1054
01:07:46,040 --> 01:07:52,160
Speaker 1: Life physically or at most anything?

1055
01:07:54,560 --> 01:07:58,960
Speaker 4: It could be either, right. I mean it's easy to

1056
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:02,720
Speaker 4: say that, like physically we're not the same thing from

1057
01:08:02,760 --> 01:08:05,360
Speaker 4: beginning to end, because eventually all the cells in your

1058
01:08:05,360 --> 01:08:09,720
Speaker 4: body are replaced. But most people still think that, like

1059
01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:13,120
Speaker 4: I am the same thing in some way from when

1060
01:08:13,120 --> 01:08:16,840
Speaker 4: I was seven, But are you really because there's so

1061
01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:20,240
Speaker 4: much change over that time, and religious people would tie

1062
01:08:20,280 --> 01:08:24,880
Speaker 4: it to a full and say that's unchanging. But it's

1063
01:08:24,880 --> 01:08:29,400
Speaker 4: hard to say a person is like a definite thing

1064
01:08:29,720 --> 01:08:36,000
Speaker 4: unless there's something to them that doesn't change.

1065
01:08:37,280 --> 01:08:40,840
Speaker 1: What is it about you that you feel is consistent

1066
01:08:41,320 --> 01:08:42,120
Speaker 1: throughout your life.

1067
01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:51,200
Speaker 4: I don't think there's anyone saying to a person that

1068
01:08:51,439 --> 01:08:54,640
Speaker 4: necessarily makes them who they are. And one of the

1069
01:08:54,680 --> 01:08:59,480
Speaker 4: reasons why our identity is constantly inflex is because there's

1070
01:08:59,520 --> 01:09:03,040
Speaker 4: not as much internal I think that makes you who

1071
01:09:03,040 --> 01:09:07,519
Speaker 4: you are like or nothing that is really like native

1072
01:09:07,600 --> 01:09:11,439
Speaker 4: to you or essential to you. That's an internal aspect

1073
01:09:11,439 --> 01:09:12,960
Speaker 4: of you that makes you who you are more than

1074
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:15,519
Speaker 4: it is like your relations to things in the world

1075
01:09:15,600 --> 01:09:18,080
Speaker 4: that make you who you are. So like your relation

1076
01:09:18,200 --> 01:09:21,400
Speaker 4: to your family, your relations to your job. I think

1077
01:09:21,560 --> 01:09:24,400
Speaker 4: those things, and yes, those things are constantly in flux,

1078
01:09:24,479 --> 01:09:27,040
Speaker 4: but they make you who you are, sometimes more than

1079
01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:32,960
Speaker 4: your physical makeup, your emotional or like mental makeup, because

1080
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:36,400
Speaker 4: those things can change, like at some point my father

1081
01:09:36,479 --> 01:09:42,320
Speaker 4: had a stroke and his personality changed, right, so his mind.

1082
01:09:42,360 --> 01:09:44,800
Speaker 1: This is interesting. This is an interesting thing that you

1083
01:09:44,840 --> 01:09:53,400
Speaker 1: bring up that who we are is more about our

1084
01:09:53,479 --> 01:09:59,640
Speaker 1: relationship to the world and to other people, because I

1085
01:09:59,720 --> 01:10:05,800
Speaker 1: always think about personal growth in like, like, when I

1086
01:10:05,840 --> 01:10:09,080
Speaker 1: think about self development, I imagine it taking place in

1087
01:10:09,120 --> 01:10:11,400
Speaker 1: like a vacuum, you know. I always imagine that I'll,

1088
01:10:11,960 --> 01:10:15,599
Speaker 1: you know, fly away to Thailand and uh, you know,

1089
01:10:15,800 --> 01:10:18,919
Speaker 1: get a cabin in a remote you know, in the jungle,

1090
01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:21,960
Speaker 1: and just do a thousand push ups and read a

1091
01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:25,040
Speaker 1: bunch of books and meditate all the time, and then

1092
01:10:25,080 --> 01:10:28,040
Speaker 1: I'll come back and then I'll uh, you know, be

1093
01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:35,200
Speaker 1: a changed developed person. And there is probably a little

1094
01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:38,280
Speaker 1: bit of a little bit of truth to you know,

1095
01:10:38,760 --> 01:10:43,400
Speaker 1: the development that you can have in isolation, but maybe

1096
01:10:43,400 --> 01:10:53,719
Speaker 1: that's limited, and maybe the greatest wealth of development takes

1097
01:10:53,760 --> 01:10:58,600
Speaker 1: place in our relationships with other people and with the

1098
01:10:58,640 --> 01:11:01,160
Speaker 1: world around us. I don't no, it's that's something I

1099
01:11:01,160 --> 01:11:03,479
Speaker 1: don't want to admit, but that I see where you're

1100
01:11:03,520 --> 01:11:05,439
Speaker 1: coming from on it. And the reason I don't want

1101
01:11:05,479 --> 01:11:08,519
Speaker 1: to admit it is because, uh, maybe it comes from

1102
01:11:08,800 --> 01:11:10,960
Speaker 1: a little bit of fear, you know what I mean,

1103
01:11:11,040 --> 01:11:15,600
Speaker 1: Because you know, you don't have control over the externally.

1104
01:11:15,680 --> 01:11:19,840
Speaker 1: You don't have control over what other people think of you.

1105
01:11:19,840 --> 01:11:25,720
Speaker 1: You don't have control over what your spouse thinks of you.

1106
01:11:25,760 --> 01:11:30,599
Speaker 1: What your friends think of you, what you know people

1107
01:11:30,640 --> 01:11:33,680
Speaker 1: you interact with on a daily basis think of you,

1108
01:11:33,960 --> 01:11:36,240
Speaker 1: or or anything like that. You have control over how

1109
01:11:36,280 --> 01:11:40,160
Speaker 1: you act towards them and in a way, how you

1110
01:11:40,200 --> 01:11:43,120
Speaker 1: present yourself, but you don't have no control over over

1111
01:11:43,160 --> 01:11:49,439
Speaker 1: how you're perceived outside of that. So it's it's hard

1112
01:11:49,479 --> 01:11:54,000
Speaker 1: to admit that that is an important factor in who

1113
01:11:54,040 --> 01:11:56,040
Speaker 1: we are as people because I don't want to admit

1114
01:11:56,080 --> 01:11:58,679
Speaker 1: that I'm stubborn. I don't want I'm I'm I'm I'm

1115
01:11:58,680 --> 01:12:03,360
Speaker 1: fucking stubborn, and I don't want uh. I want to

1116
01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:05,880
Speaker 1: deal with the external world as little as possible. It's

1117
01:12:05,880 --> 01:12:09,040
Speaker 1: a weird thing for me to say, as I'm broadcasting

1118
01:12:09,280 --> 01:12:11,880
Speaker 1: to a bunch of people living in the external world,

1119
01:12:11,960 --> 01:12:17,280
Speaker 1: but uh, you know, I'd like to believe that things

1120
01:12:17,360 --> 01:12:19,479
Speaker 1: are are more over than my control. Then they're not.

1121
01:12:21,840 --> 01:12:26,600
Speaker 1: But Cliff, this has been a fun little philosophical exercise

1122
01:12:27,160 --> 01:12:29,640
Speaker 1: to uh to do with you. In addition to this

1123
01:12:29,680 --> 01:12:33,120
Speaker 1: conversation about cats and dogs. Is there anything else that

1124
01:12:33,200 --> 01:12:34,559
Speaker 1: you want to say to the people of the computer

1125
01:12:34,640 --> 01:12:35,120
Speaker 1: before we go?

1126
01:12:38,240 --> 01:12:41,280
Speaker 4: No, I just I hope everyone out there is good

1127
01:12:41,280 --> 01:12:43,719
Speaker 4: to those people around them in their lives. And their

1128
01:12:43,800 --> 01:12:47,720
Speaker 4: and their relations spe good to each other, y'all, thank

1129
01:12:47,720 --> 01:12:49,400
Speaker 4: you for it. Is a pleasure talking to you.

1130
01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:56,960
Speaker 1: Pleasure talking to you as well. I like the Cliff

1131
01:12:57,280 --> 01:13:01,920
Speaker 1: the Claw screener noted that he's a philosophy major, so

1132
01:13:01,920 --> 01:13:04,800
Speaker 1: that's where that comes from. I like the point he

1133
01:13:04,840 --> 01:13:07,880
Speaker 1: brought up. I hope I understand it. Sometimes I listen

1134
01:13:07,960 --> 01:13:11,639
Speaker 1: back to the podcast and I'll realize that I totally

1135
01:13:11,640 --> 01:13:14,599
Speaker 1: didn't listen, like I can tell from I can tell

1136
01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:18,200
Speaker 1: from other people's responses when they aren't actually listening to me.

1137
01:13:18,640 --> 01:13:21,840
Speaker 1: And then sometimes I listen to this back and I

1138
01:13:21,880 --> 01:13:24,400
Speaker 1: can tell from my responses that I wasn't actually listening

1139
01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:28,120
Speaker 1: to the person. But I think I was listening to Cliff.

1140
01:13:28,160 --> 01:13:29,880
Speaker 1: I think I understood what he was trying to say.

1141
01:13:29,880 --> 01:13:35,919
Speaker 1: I hope I did. About this whole internal versus external,

1142
01:13:35,960 --> 01:13:38,040
Speaker 1: which is more important in terms of who you are.

1143
01:13:41,040 --> 01:13:44,720
Speaker 1: It's a struggle because I don't want to admit that

1144
01:13:45,720 --> 01:13:49,439
Speaker 1: your relationships with other people and with the universe and

1145
01:13:49,479 --> 01:13:52,519
Speaker 1: whatever is who you are, because that would be giving

1146
01:13:52,960 --> 01:13:55,960
Speaker 1: the universe, that would be giving the external world so

1147
01:13:56,080 --> 01:14:00,160
Speaker 1: much power. And sometimes I'm mad at the external world.

1148
01:14:00,160 --> 01:14:02,280
Speaker 1: Fuck that I don't want the external Yeah, fuck the

1149
01:14:02,320 --> 01:14:05,040
Speaker 1: external world. Fuck all the people and all the things

1150
01:14:05,439 --> 01:14:07,759
Speaker 1: and all of their opinions and all of their everything,

1151
01:14:07,840 --> 01:14:10,439
Speaker 1: you know, fuck it all. I don't want that to

1152
01:14:10,520 --> 01:14:12,800
Speaker 1: be in charge of who I am. I am in

1153
01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:17,760
Speaker 1: charge of who I am. But maybe that's stubborn. I

1154
01:14:17,800 --> 01:14:21,200
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know if either viewpoint is right

1155
01:14:21,280 --> 01:14:25,840
Speaker 1: or wrong. All I know is that I am a

1156
01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:27,200
Speaker 1: gecko on the computer.

1157
01:14:29,040 --> 01:14:32,200
Speaker 3: Goes on the line taking your phone calls every night.

1158
01:14:32,560 --> 01:14:35,280
Speaker 3: There Bank goes to and his I who's teaching you

1159
01:14:35,400 --> 01:14:37,720
Speaker 3: cloud in the mid of your life. But he's not

1160
01:14:37,920 --> 01:14:39,320
Speaker 3: really an expert.