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Speaker 1: Hey, this is johnas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up, but

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Speaker 1: before that, we have a quick two minute break from

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Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive. So John, it's

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Speaker 1: dump them week, which means we're gonna be taking out

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Speaker 1: some trash, at least emotionally speaking. Oh yes, Sam, we

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Speaker 1: have stories this week that will make you say farewell

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Speaker 1: to toxic relationship and hello to red flag for you living.

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Speaker 1: Speaking of hello, if you're new here looking for the

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Speaker 1: first story in this series titled my husband cheated but

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Speaker 1: he has cancer? Should I stay? Just click the link

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Speaker 1: in the show notes slash description or search dump him week,

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Speaker 1: Okay story Time wherever you get your podcasts.

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Speaker 2: All right, let's get in today's story.

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Speaker 3: My mother cheated years ago. Now my father refuses to

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Speaker 3: attend my wedding.

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Speaker 2: If she's present, teether me or you're cheating mother.

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Speaker 3: Quick side note. I know my fiance and I are

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Speaker 3: very young, but we have been together for years and

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Speaker 3: we're friends since childhood before we became a couple.

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Speaker 2: In op Is twenty two. Female good to know.

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Speaker 3: Also, I hate to say it, but we are religious

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Speaker 3: and it's common in our culture to marry young. We've

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Speaker 3: been through both pre marital and financial counseling, so we

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Speaker 3: feel very prepared.

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Speaker 2: Oh financial counseling.

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Speaker 3: Wow. Smart. By the way, this comes from loosel vangirl

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Speaker 3: and if you want to smit your own stories, go

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Speaker 3: to our slash okay storytime severed it. So my issue

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Speaker 3: at Hanne has to do with the wedding. My fiance,

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Speaker 3: Steve and I are getting married in eight months. We

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Speaker 3: don't have a lot of money and honestly, neither of

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Speaker 3: us can stand fancy news. So we are having a

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Speaker 3: private ceremony with only his best man and my native

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Speaker 3: honor as witnesses, and then we are having a tiny

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Speaker 3: reception afterwards with only fifty people total, so obviously this

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Speaker 3: is going to be quite an intimate reception. Here is

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Speaker 3: the thing. My parents can't stand each other, or at

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Speaker 3: least my dad can't stand my mom. Five years ago,

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Speaker 3: in my last year of high school, my mother was

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Speaker 3: caught having an affair with her married coworker.

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Speaker 2: Oh double whammy ouch.

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Speaker 3: It destroyed my parents' marriage. My father became a changed man.

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Speaker 3: He was always happy and confident, outgoing guy, but he

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Speaker 3: became quiet, withdrawn and just empty. It an't alive of

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Speaker 3: me seeing him like this, Dude, you're.

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Speaker 2: Gonna let You're gonna let your cheating wife take that

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Speaker 2: away from you.

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Speaker 3: Not don't let her take away your don't let her win.

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Speaker 3: Don't let her, no, let her cheat her win.

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Speaker 2: Go into spy mode. Still be yourself.

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Speaker 3: My mother moved out because me and my younger brother,

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Speaker 3: who was fifteen at the time, basically told her to

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Speaker 3: get the f out. I have always been close with

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Speaker 3: my mom, loved her to pieces, but finding out about

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Speaker 3: her affair and seeing what it did to my dad,

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Speaker 3: I've always known my dad to adore. My mother nuked

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Speaker 3: my relationship with her. My brother and I went no

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Speaker 3: contact with her for about a year. I finally relented

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Speaker 3: when I sent her an invitation to my high school

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Speaker 3: graduation that made it clear her partner was not involved.

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Speaker 3: My brother took a little longer to come around, but

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Speaker 3: he talks to her from time to time. Both of

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Speaker 3: us told the judge we wanted to live with our

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Speaker 3: dad full time, which was granted to us. My relationship

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Speaker 3: with my mother is still strained and distant. I know

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Speaker 3: she wants more. She's constantly trying to talk to me

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Speaker 3: and she sobbed in relief when I sent her my

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Speaker 3: graduation invite after not talking to her for almost a year.

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Speaker 3: But I keep her at arm's length and merely make polite,

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Speaker 3: casual conversation now and again. I still love my mother

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Speaker 3: and I don't want to cut her out completely, but

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Speaker 3: this is as close as I want her, and I

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Speaker 3: will never again have a close relationship with her. As

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Speaker 3: for her a fair partner, apparently they are still together

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Speaker 3: after his wife caught and divorced him. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 3: if you got to destroy two families, you gotta make

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Speaker 3: it worth it.

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Speaker 2: You have to make it worth it. If you're going

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Speaker 2: full since that's my rule. If you cheat, you have

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Speaker 2: to stay with you.

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Speaker 3: Gotta make it with it. I have never met him

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Speaker 3: and made it clear to my mother I do not

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Speaker 3: want to. If Mom and I meet for coffee or anywhere,

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Speaker 3: he is not to come, I refuse to see pictures

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Speaker 3: or discuss him with her. If she brings him up,

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Speaker 3: I immediately changed the subject. I have no idea if

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Speaker 3: my mom is happy with him, if they're doing well,

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Speaker 3: et cetera. I frankly don't care. As for my father,

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Speaker 3: in a way, we are closer, but he clearly has issues.

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Speaker 3: It's been five years and he's clearly not over the

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Speaker 3: cheating and divorce. He's not angry or bitter about it,

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Speaker 3: just very sad and depressed. He won't call my mom

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Speaker 3: or her lover by their names. He calls them he

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Speaker 3: him or she her. He hasn't dated once since the

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Speaker 3: divorce either. He won't be around her for my graduation.

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Speaker 3: They had to be at polar opposite ends of the bleachers,

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Speaker 3: and I had to have my phone on me so

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Speaker 3: I could text my mom when she was allowed to

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Speaker 3: approach and congratulate me, and then so I could text

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Speaker 3: my dad to let him know my mom left. Oh,

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Speaker 3: that's so frustrating as the kid to be caught between

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Speaker 3: this be the middleman. Yeah, like, totally understandable that the

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Speaker 3: dad is affected by this, but to the extent that

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Speaker 3: now he is making his daughter be the you know,

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Speaker 3: go between. Come on, it will be this way when

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Speaker 3: I graduate college as well. So my question goes to

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Speaker 3: my wedding. After I told my dad what Steve and

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Speaker 3: I had planned for a wedding and reception, he got

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Speaker 3: very quiet and asked if I plan on inviting her

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Speaker 3: and him. I said yes, I would probably invite my

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Speaker 3: mom even though her partner is not invited. My dad

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Speaker 3: quietly said it's rude to only invite one half of

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Speaker 3: the couple. He then said he didn't think he could

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Speaker 3: come if she was going to be there. Come on, dude,

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Speaker 3: come on, like she sucks. She she's the a hole here.

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Speaker 3: But you're not going to go to your daughter's wedding

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Speaker 3: because a woman who you divorced five years ago is

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Speaker 3: going to be there. You don't have to talk to her.

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Speaker 2: Come on, dude, come on, she's just going to be

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Speaker 2: over there in the corner feeling bad about the family

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Speaker 2: she messed up. You just go there, live your best

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Speaker 2: of life. Yeah, it's get a hot date, Get a

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Speaker 2: hot date. It's one day, get a hot date.

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Speaker 3: That maybe he could be there before or after she comes,

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Speaker 3: but he just doesn't think he could interact with her

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Speaker 3: in such a close setting. You're you don't have.

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Speaker 4: To don't have to talk to her. Wow, like letting

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Speaker 4: her win?

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Speaker 3: This guy. I was floored and very hurt. I told

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Speaker 3: my dad I would think about it. Steve and I

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Speaker 3: need to start sending out save the dates pretty soon,

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Speaker 3: so we need to get this resolved. I've talked about

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Speaker 3: this with Steve, and while he is very sweet and

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Speaker 3: says he will fully support me no matter what decision

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Speaker 3: I make, that I'm the only one who can make

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Speaker 3: the decision. I also talk to my brother about it,

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Speaker 3: and he says he will show up no matter what,

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Speaker 3: but he won't have much to do with our mother

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Speaker 3: if she's invited beyond basic courtesies, and that he understands

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Speaker 3: Dad's position but thinks he's being kind of ridiculous. He's

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Speaker 3: also said it's technically rude to not invite her boyfriend,

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Speaker 3: but it is also pretty rude to destroy two families

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Speaker 3: by having an affair with another married man, So her

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Speaker 3: boyfriend can go f himself and mother can shove wedding

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Speaker 3: etiquette up her butt. Personally, he prefer I not invite

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Speaker 3: her either, but it's my wedding and I can do

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Speaker 3: what I want and he will roll with it. My

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Speaker 3: brother is a very blunt man and has not been

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Speaker 3: as forgiving of the affair as I have. So now, oh,

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Speaker 3: I'm stuck. On the one hand, if we are being honest,

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Speaker 3: I really do want to invite my mother to my

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Speaker 3: wedding reception. I absolutely will not invite her boyfriend. Regardless

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Speaker 3: of how tacky it seems, he is not and will

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Speaker 3: never be a part of our family. And honestly, I'm

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Speaker 3: kind of angry with my dad. Believe me, I understand

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Speaker 3: his pain and hurt, but it's been five years and

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Speaker 3: I think he needs to start moving on. It's fine

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Speaker 3: if he doesn't like Mom. I don't much like her either,

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Speaker 3: But to boycought my own wedding because she might be coming,

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Speaker 3: Get over yourself. It's like his hurt feelings are more

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Speaker 3: important than his only daughter's wedding. They are to him,

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Speaker 3: they are, which is ridiculous. He really can't suck it

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Speaker 3: up and just be in a reception hall with her

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Speaker 3: for a few hours. On the other hand, I really

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Speaker 3: love my dad. I hate seeing him hurt. I can't

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Speaker 3: stand causing him pain. If I absolutely have to choose

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Speaker 3: between my two parents, I will pick my father every time,

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Speaker 3: despite him being kind of a wet blanket about the wedding.

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Speaker 3: He's a good man with a good heart. My dad

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Speaker 3: and I are very close and I don't want to

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Speaker 3: jeopardize my relationship with him, and I would much rather

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Speaker 3: he be at my wedding than my mother. Plus, I'm

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Speaker 3: thinking since I refuse to invite my mom's boyfriend, and

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Speaker 3: it really is considered a wedding faux pas, I just

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Speaker 3: shouldn't invite her altogether. I really don't want my dad

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Speaker 3: to not come.

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Speaker 2: Mmmm, that's a good point.

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Speaker 3: But you want her there, you want her there, you

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Speaker 3: want her there, and your dad's being a little baby.

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Speaker 2: I don't know about the little baby, for I think.

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Speaker 3: He's being a little baby.

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Speaker 2: He's hurt.

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Speaker 3: Yes, he's allowed to be hurt, but it's been five years.

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Speaker 3: And if he's putting his daughter's wedding below his feelings.

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Speaker 2: Then that's I was gonna What I was gonna say,

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Speaker 2: is he's hurt. I don't think he's given the time

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Speaker 2: or space for him to allow himself to process this

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Speaker 2: or to move on. And I think, like you know,

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Speaker 2: as I mean, I grew up in religion. I think

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Speaker 2: that her family did too. We put a lot of

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Speaker 2: emphasis on our partner, and we put a lot, like

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Speaker 2: a lot of ourselves are in our partner. And I

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Speaker 2: remember after my last relationship, I put a lot of

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Speaker 2: myself into my partner and I lost myself and I

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Speaker 2: had to realize I have to build myself from the

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Speaker 2: bottom up. And be whole again. So I'm myself going

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Speaker 2: into the next relationship, not I am my partner going

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Speaker 2: to my next relationship. I think he lost himself in

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Speaker 2: her and does not know how to rebuild himself or

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Speaker 2: has the tools to do that, because he lost all

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Speaker 2: his confidence, he lost who he was.

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Speaker 3: I agree. I just think that that can be true

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Speaker 3: and he can be on his own journey. But I

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Speaker 3: think it's still.

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Speaker 4: This is like lost one day, two days.

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Speaker 3: It's one day. I just think at the end of

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Speaker 3: the day, he is allowed to not want to date people.

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Speaker 3: That's fine. He is allowed to need to go to therapy.

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Speaker 3: He's allowed to never want to talk to her.

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Speaker 4: He doesn't have to do anything forever.

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Speaker 3: But to not go to your daughter's wedding, you shouldn't punish. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's ridiculous. Yeah, But despite how my mom and I

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Speaker 3: are not and will never be close again, and how

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Speaker 3: I think she's getting her just deserts for having an affair,

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Speaker 3: I don't want to hurt her by not inviting her

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Speaker 3: altogether and well and truly stuck. I don't know what

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Speaker 3: to do, And honestly, I've broken down crying over this

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Speaker 3: a few times because it's just so stressful and I

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Speaker 3: feel caught in the middle between two people I love.

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Speaker 3: And there are some comments and an update, but I

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Speaker 3: feel like you've already said to what you think? Do

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Speaker 3: you have any other thoughts before we jump into these comments,

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Speaker 3: and I want.

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Speaker 2: To hear what comments say.

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Speaker 3: Comment one options as I see them, Invite them both.

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Speaker 3: Sit down with your dad and say, look, I love

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Speaker 3: you and I want you to be there. You're gonna

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Speaker 3: regret missing it. You won't have to talk to her.

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Speaker 3: If she tries to talk to you, I'll have her

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Speaker 3: thrown out. It's important to me that she be there,

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Speaker 3: even though we're not close anymore. And it's important to

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Speaker 3: me that you be there. And while the choice is

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Speaker 3: obviously yours, I'm going to be really hurt if you

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Speaker 3: don't cut with this option. Tell your mother that she

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Speaker 3: is not to engage with your siblings or your father,

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Speaker 3: that she's not to attempt to mend any broken fences

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Speaker 3: at the event. So that's option one, which I think

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Speaker 3: that's a really great way of putting it. Yeah, hard

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Speaker 3: to heart, saying she cannot talk to you. If she does,

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Speaker 3: I'll throw her out. I like that, but I would

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Speaker 3: like to have you here. I think that's a good

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Speaker 3: option like that. Option two invite one to the wedding

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Speaker 3: and one to the reception, or one to the rehearsal

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Speaker 3: and one to the actual day. Probably your mother should

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Speaker 3: get the reception or rehearsal in that case. Option three

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Speaker 3: invite neither of them. Nuclear option. If you can't behave

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Speaker 3: like adults, just don't come not recommended, which I mean, like,

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Speaker 3: hasn't really it's it's not even really.

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Speaker 2: The mom's dad said, who was?

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Speaker 3: It's healthy to avoid certain people being in your life

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Speaker 3: to some extent. I can see where your dad is

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Speaker 3: coming from. I regularly recommended that someone just not go

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Speaker 3: somewhere that, say, an ex abuser is going to be

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Speaker 3: in attendance, But if he were here, I would almost

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Speaker 3: certainly tell him to suck it up. I will say

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Speaker 3: that if they end up in the same room, it

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Speaker 3: should absolutely not fall on your shoulders to be texting

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Speaker 3: your dad and telling him when it's okay to approach.

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Speaker 3: Someone else needs to do that for you. If that

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Speaker 3: has to happen, you're going to be under enough stress.

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Speaker 3: And Opie says, this is really good advice. I've considered

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Speaker 3: inviting my dad to the wedding itself and my mom

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Speaker 3: to the reception, But neither Steve nor I really want

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Speaker 3: to do this. It's very non traditional on both our

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Speaker 3: parts to have a super private ceremony, but we have

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Speaker 3: it this way for a reason. We don't want a

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Speaker 3: large audience. It was too hard to pick which people

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Speaker 3: to have there and which to only have the reception,

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Speaker 3: so we said screw it, just her closest friends as witnesses.

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Speaker 3: I really do need to sit my dad down and

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Speaker 3: talk to him about this again. I really like your

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Speaker 3: option number one. It's very good. Thank you for the

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Speaker 3: whole post and comment to Was your mom a good

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Speaker 3: mother to you and your brother? If so, invite her.

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Speaker 3: Your parents' relationship and how it failed is really none

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Speaker 3: of your or your brother's business. Cheaters always get all

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Speaker 3: of the blame for relationships failing, and I'm not making

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Speaker 3: excuses for her behavior. She should have just ended things.

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Speaker 3: They had to have had other issues going on. People

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Speaker 3: don't usually just cheat with no reason unless they're just

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Speaker 3: a holes, and chances are if she's such an ale,

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Speaker 3: she probably wasn't a good mother either. Anyway, If your

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Speaker 3: dad can't be around her so much that he'd missed

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Speaker 3: your wedding, then that's his choice. I'd ask her not

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Speaker 3: to bring a date and same to him, but tell

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Speaker 3: him that she's your mother and you want her there.

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Speaker 3: If you do what he chooses to do is on him,

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Speaker 3: not you. Shame on him for putting you in that position.

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Speaker 3: And Opie says she was actually a pretty great mom

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Speaker 3: until the affair, but it could be she's an a

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Speaker 3: hole and a good mother. I mean, I think she's

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Speaker 3: an a hole regardless.

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Speaker 2: But she's you'll still be a good mom mother. Not

295
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Speaker 2: a good mom, but a good mother mother.

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Speaker 3: I went to my own personal therapy during and after

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Speaker 3: the divorce, and reflecting back on it, my dad was

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Speaker 3: always very good to my mom, showed her lots of affection,

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Speaker 3: gave praise, helped her when she was sick spontaneously by

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Speaker 3: her flowers and other presents, et cetera. But my mom

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Speaker 3: never really reciprocated. It's always been obvious to me my

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00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:11,319
Speaker 3: dad adored my mom, But thinking back, I wasn't ever

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Speaker 3: sure she loved him because she certainly never showed up.

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Speaker 2: Oh thang, dude, I've seen relationships like that, dang man.

305
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Speaker 2: Those are hard to look at whenever the guy's like

306
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Speaker 2: pouring his heart out in the woman's skyline.

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Speaker 3: My therapist also pointed out that people can be good

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Speaker 3: parents but also terrible parents and or people outside of

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Speaker 3: that role, and that honestly helped me come to terms

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Speaker 3: with getting over the affair between reconciling the mother I

311
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,360
Speaker 3: knew who I loved and was close with, and this

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Speaker 3: selfish person who did a terrible thing to our family.

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Speaker 3: I really think she's one of those people my therapist

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Speaker 3: described as good parent, bad partner, and or person, and

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Speaker 3: that the two aren't mutually exclusive or inclusive. Thank you

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00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,800
Speaker 3: for your advice. It's definitely something I'll incorporate when I

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Speaker 3: talk to him about this again. And there he's an update,

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Speaker 3: apparently a very long update. But I honestly I think

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Speaker 3: option number one is the best way to go talking

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Speaker 3: to him and being like, did I want you to

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Speaker 3: be there?

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Speaker 2: Option number one? But how far the dad has fallen

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Speaker 2: from being the great person he is. I believe he's

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Speaker 2: going to double down and no, I can't call. He's

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Speaker 2: not gonna go. He's gonna punish his daughter rather than

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Speaker 2: adulting being near his ex for a day.

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Speaker 3: And honestly, I feel like you like, don't don't not

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Speaker 3: invite your mom because you want are there. Your dad

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Speaker 3: is going to make a decision. I think that at

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Speaker 3: the end of the day, you should make the decision

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Speaker 3: that you want to make, which is invite both your

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Speaker 3: parents and then they can make whatever decisions of the decision.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yep.

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Speaker 3: He puts nothing on.

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Speaker 2: You and clearly lay out how it will make you

336
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Speaker 2: feel either way.

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00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,400
Speaker 3: Exactly, and they don't be like, oh, okay, fine, if

338
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Speaker 3: you don't want to come, be like, no, this is

339
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:59,800
Speaker 3: going to hurt me if you do not come. Update right,

340
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,600
Speaker 3: This is a very long update. Also, this post is

341
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,200
Speaker 3: probably going to get flame judging how the comments went

342
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,120
Speaker 3: down as more time went on, the longer my post

343
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,000
Speaker 3: was up, this is probably going to anger many people.

344
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Speaker 3: But there were also lots of nice and helpful people too.

345
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Speaker 3: So I was reading all the comments, and the more

346
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Speaker 3: time went on, the more angry and upset I became.

347
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Speaker 2: Don't want to get to you. They're just they're just

348
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Speaker 2: trying to get a rise at me and just pick

349
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Speaker 2: the good ones and laugh at the bad ones.

350
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Speaker 3: People eventually started saying why should parents always have to

351
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,400
Speaker 3: sacrifice for children? Some said I was being a bridezilla

352
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:35,880
Speaker 3: and all only caring about my day. Of course I care.

353
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Speaker 3: It's my wedding. Those comments are stupid. It's supposed to

354
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Speaker 3: be a once in a lifetime event that I want

355
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:44,440
Speaker 3: to share with everyone. Many people said my dad had

356
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Speaker 3: depression and my mother's actions were so evil he was

357
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,280
Speaker 3: forever off the hook for good. Everyone was giving suggestions

358
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Speaker 3: on how I could meticulously plan the days to rotate everyone,

359
00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:58,560
Speaker 3: and I felt like screaming. Steve eventually told me to

360
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,240
Speaker 3: get off Reddit because he hated seeing me so upset.

361
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:05,239
Speaker 3: I couldn't even say exactly why I was upset, I

362
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:08,240
Speaker 3: just was. Steve said maybe I should go back to

363
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Speaker 3: my old therapist that I had when my parents got

364
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Speaker 3: divorced and talk it out with her. To me, this

365
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,520
Speaker 3: seemed like a great idea. I called her up and

366
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:18,400
Speaker 3: asked to have an appointment, despite finals being mined around

367
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Speaker 3: the corner. So I went, and everything came out how

368
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,760
Speaker 3: much I hurt still from what Mom did, and how

369
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:29,080
Speaker 3: we can never be close again, and honestly, how angry

370
00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:32,360
Speaker 3: I am at my father. I never really realized it,

371
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,920
Speaker 3: but I've gotten so furious and resentful of him. How

372
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,879
Speaker 3: he never even tried to get out of his funk.

373
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Speaker 3: How dejected he acted if Mom somehow came up, How

374
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Speaker 3: he never said anything directly bad about her, but subtenly

375
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:48,920
Speaker 3: made me feel guilty for loving her, acting MOPI going

376
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,840
Speaker 3: from fine to depressed if she somehow came up, How

377
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,119
Speaker 3: I always feel like I have to walk on eggshells

378
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,760
Speaker 3: around him, And how he gets a free pass because

379
00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:00,399
Speaker 3: he got cheated on something that happens to tons of

380
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:05,919
Speaker 3: people every day. I talked and talked and talked. I

381
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,600
Speaker 3: made a couple more appointments I go through finals. I

382
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,679
Speaker 3: want to shout out to Steve here. He is the

383
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,679
Speaker 3: only reason I got through it all and passed and

384
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:16,359
Speaker 3: got my degree. He is an incredible human being. The

385
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:20,919
Speaker 3: tipping point was on my graduation day. Once again, my

386
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,440
Speaker 3: father made it clear Mom couldn't be sat near him,

387
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,120
Speaker 3: and he couldn't be near her at all. I had

388
00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:28,919
Speaker 3: to text her when she could come talk to me,

389
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:32,040
Speaker 3: and had to text him once she left. Her boyfriend

390
00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:36,080
Speaker 3: was of course not invited, but it was so embarrassing

391
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,840
Speaker 3: having to contact the officials in charge of the ceremony

392
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,240
Speaker 3: and ask if my tickets could be changed so my

393
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,639
Speaker 3: parents could sit far away from each other. That is

394
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,480
Speaker 3: so frustrating. They were kind and understanding, but that's when

395
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,200
Speaker 3: I began to get very, very angry. My mom has

396
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,760
Speaker 3: no problem with my dad. She doesn't mind being near him,

397
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,760
Speaker 3: even though she doesn't love him. I began to think

398
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,359
Speaker 3: how I'm going to have to rearrange all of my

399
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:03,719
Speaker 3: milestones when I have children, my children's christenings and birthday parties,

400
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:08,960
Speaker 3: et cetera. Graduation was miserable. I couldn't look in any

401
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,919
Speaker 3: one direction to see my family as I got my

402
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,520
Speaker 3: degree and walked the stage because they had to be

403
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,320
Speaker 3: spread out to make sure my phone was on me

404
00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:18,639
Speaker 3: and fully charged so I could coordinate my mother and

405
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:22,160
Speaker 3: father's locations. It was so awkward mingling with one group

406
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,399
Speaker 3: and then my mother, knowing both groups were waiting to

407
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,439
Speaker 3: have their turn. My brother interacted with my mother, and

408
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,720
Speaker 3: he was kind of cold, but cordial. Nonetheless, my mother

409
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,760
Speaker 3: made no complaints, didn't try to argue or force herself

410
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:37,240
Speaker 3: in there, and patiently waited for her turn, even though

411
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,560
Speaker 3: I could tell she was dying to spend more time

412
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,720
Speaker 3: with me. Pictures had to be rotated. I couldn't have

413
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,160
Speaker 3: one with all of my family in there. My father

414
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,919
Speaker 3: was constantly texting during my time with her, asking if

415
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,520
Speaker 3: she had left yet and if he could come back now.

416
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,440
Speaker 3: That's I don't like this man.

417
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:54,840
Speaker 2: I don't know if he knows that adults.

418
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:59,280
Speaker 3: It seemed so childish. It is he's being a child.

419
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:03,080
Speaker 3: He's being I pitched a petulant child who was hurt.

420
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,400
Speaker 3: She did an awful thing and was an a hole

421
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:09,560
Speaker 3: to him. That is like, that's obvious, But why is

422
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,800
Speaker 3: he taking it? I don't know. B Honestly, the rest

423
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 3: of my family could tolerate my mother being around. After all,

424
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,119
Speaker 3: the divorce was years ago. It's time to start getting

425
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:21,920
Speaker 3: over it and moving on with life. It was only

426
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,719
Speaker 3: because of my dad that I couldn't relax and just

427
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 3: be happy and enjoy my graduation with my family. I

428
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,480
Speaker 3: was supposed to go to dinner with my dad, boyfriend,

429
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,719
Speaker 3: and other family after graduation to celebrate. I told him

430
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 3: I felt very sick and needed to go home. I

431
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,919
Speaker 3: just didn't want to be around anyone anymore. Steve just

432
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 3: held me while I bawled my eyes out. You know

433
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 3: what really quick? Steve great constant throughout the story. Oh

434
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 3: Steve's killing it.

435
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:49,000
Speaker 5: Man.

436
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 3: That is a solid rock, right, there. That's a rock

437
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 3: of a man. I hadn't cried that hard in years.

438
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,639
Speaker 3: I met with my therapist a couple more times. This

439
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,159
Speaker 3: is sturning into a novels, So I'll summarize what I

440
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 3: came to realize in therapy. While the initial anger and

441
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,720
Speaker 3: hate I felt for my mom was real, I never

442
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 3: stopped loving her, but I felt like, because my dad

443
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,639
Speaker 3: had been wronged, I had to take his side. My

444
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,720
Speaker 3: dad had always made me feel guilty for loving my mother.

445
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,200
Speaker 3: While his actions had never been overt, it had been

446
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:23,199
Speaker 3: very subtle manipulation. Yep, I mean not even that subtle.

447
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 3: He's just like I want to.

448
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:33,919
Speaker 2: I feel like he feels she deserves nothing.

449
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:39,000
Speaker 3: Especially he doesn't want her. He feels like he has

450
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,119
Speaker 3: his marriage was stolen from him by her, and so

451
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,440
Speaker 3: he doesn't want her to steal you.

452
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 2: And he put everything into it.

453
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:52,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so he's trying to like win you. Felt

454
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:54,879
Speaker 3: like I had to give my dad carte blanche whatever

455
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,040
Speaker 3: he wanted, because if I didn't, I felt like I

456
00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:00,080
Speaker 3: would lose him too, that he would reject and have

457
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,720
Speaker 3: nothing to do with me if I didn't practically ostracize

458
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 3: my mother. My mother was at one point my best

459
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:09,639
Speaker 3: friend and that's gone. Oh that's so sad. I couldn't

460
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 3: stand losing both my parents. So Dad has gotten whatever

461
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,640
Speaker 3: he wanted, and I'm realizing that in a subtle way,

462
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,040
Speaker 3: Dad has been manipulating my brother and I to treat

463
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 3: her mother terribly for years to punish her. My dad

464
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 3: has always been a super passive, aggressive guy. It's nothing new.

465
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 3: He's always guilt tripped people and made these little comments

466
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 3: that twist people up and hurt them. It's his form

467
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:34,560
Speaker 3: of control. I love both of my parents. My mother

468
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,919
Speaker 3: did a terrible, horrible thing, but my dad is no

469
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 3: saint either. My mother was just more upfront about her awfulness.

470
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:45,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, Dad soon needs to own up on his feelings.

471
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 2: Just I don't know, acknowledged feelings. I feel like he's

472
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:50,399
Speaker 2: bottling them up therapy.

473
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:54,160
Speaker 3: He's bottled. He's been bottling them up for five years.

474
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 2: You have so much more life to live, my dude.

475
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,399
Speaker 2: It seems like you're a great person, and I'm pretty

476
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,439
Speaker 2: sure there'd be a lucky lady to be with you.

477
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you can work through your problems.

478
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host here. We're gonna get

479
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,480
Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads

480
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

481
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,879
Speaker 3: My therapist and Steve also pointed out that if my

482
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,160
Speaker 3: dad is truly depressed or emotionally damaged, he has never

483
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:18,400
Speaker 3: sought to get help for it. Instead, he has projected

484
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,439
Speaker 3: his problems and pain onto everyone else and made it

485
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:25,600
Speaker 3: their burden instead of taking responsibility for himself and attempting

486
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:29,320
Speaker 3: to go on with life. And that is not okay, No,

487
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,679
Speaker 3: it is not. I called my mom and asked her

488
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:35,199
Speaker 3: over for tea. Steve left to give us privacy. I

489
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 3: could list everything we said and talked about, but it

490
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:41,639
Speaker 3: would make the post longer. Basically, my mom never loved

491
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,120
Speaker 3: my dad and should never have agreed to marry him.

492
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,359
Speaker 3: My dad knew Mom didn't love him, but didn't care

493
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 3: and insisted she would love him eventually. Some very eye

494
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 3: opening things were said that made sense. My mother never

495
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 3: trash talked my dad never has, but she gave insights

496
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:01,480
Speaker 3: as to why the affair happened. She says she understands

497
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 3: it's no excuse for what she did, and she is

498
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:08,119
Speaker 3: so very sorry for her own selfishness and weakness. Basically,

499
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 3: both my parents are human, and mistakes were made from

500
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:14,440
Speaker 3: both sides. My mom had the affair, Yes, but it's

501
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 3: not like my dad was the perfect man either. Well,

502
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,920
Speaker 3: I will still will never again be close to my mom.

503
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 3: Perhaps I don't need to be quite as harsh with

504
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 3: her as I have been.

505
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 2: I don't think Opie's been that harsh. I don't.

506
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:31,919
Speaker 3: I mean, I think probably it's just Opie's really not

507
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:35,120
Speaker 3: been seeing her that much because the dad is making.

508
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,359
Speaker 2: It because he wants to be in Dad's favors.

509
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, got it. We will still be low contact, but

510
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,000
Speaker 3: I did decide I do want her there for the

511
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,520
Speaker 3: wedding and for the birth of any children I have.

512
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:49,159
Speaker 3: I love my mom, always have and always will. She

513
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,159
Speaker 3: may not have been a good wife, but she was

514
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 3: an excellent mother, and I don't want to cut her

515
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 3: out completely. I think my kids' lives will be more

516
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:58,400
Speaker 3: enriched having her in it.

517
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 2: I do kind of have a similar thing thing happening

518
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 2: with my family. So there's this whatever, she's not gonna

519
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 2: watch it. This is one grandma that has been kind

520
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 2: of hard on my mom growing up, and she she

521
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 2: did some kind of mess up stuff to my mom

522
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 2: and all that, and my mom has kind of talked

523
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:20,440
Speaker 2: badly about her because she has been upset with her,

524
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,640
Speaker 2: so I have also kind of viewed my grandma through

525
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 2: this lens. But Mom recently, you know, at the end

526
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,639
Speaker 2: of the trip in Christmas, she was like, Hey, I

527
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 2: just want to kind of apologize for the way I've

528
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:34,159
Speaker 2: been speaking about this person, because she is your grandma

529
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,160
Speaker 2: and I do have like a lot of pent up

530
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:38,879
Speaker 2: like baggage with her, but I should not let that

531
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,399
Speaker 2: affect the way you see your grandmother lovely, And I

532
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 2: was like, wow, that is a really good point, because like,

533
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 2: my my Grandma's not gonna be around a lot. I

534
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 2: love her and I want to be in her life

535
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 2: and in that kind of stuff. I think the dad

536
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 2: needs to own up on that, yeah, and do the

537
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 2: same thing.

538
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:59,359
Speaker 3: I agree. I think that it's really hard to to

539
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 3: kind of your relationship with someone with a family member

540
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 3: or child, Yeah, but I think it is important, especially

541
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,479
Speaker 3: when it's your parents, especially like you have to make

542
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 3: sure that you are not putting the baggage of your

543
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 3: ex partner onto your.

544
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 2: Children, yeah, yeah.

545
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 3: Or whatever that relationship you know is. My mother started

546
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 3: crying when I told her she was invited to the wedding,

547
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 3: even though I made it clear to her, her boyfriend

548
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 3: is not invited. She didn't argue with me on that

549
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 3: at all, and said she thought I had asked her

550
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 3: to my house to tell her I would not be

551
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 3: inviting her, and she had been prepared to accept that

552
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 3: rejection and understand it. Oh. I did tell her that

553
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 3: if Dad was there, she was to stay away from

554
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 3: him and not try to mend any fences at my wedding,

555
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,919
Speaker 3: she says, she's on she understands completely and will mingle

556
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 3: with my grandparents, her parents, and my aunt's uncles and cousins,

557
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 3: her siblings and their children. I made it clear to

558
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 3: my mother that if she even attempted to talk to

559
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 3: Dad or any of his family, she would be thrown out.

560
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,679
Speaker 3: She agreed without questions.

561
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,120
Speaker 2: She seems to be in full alignment here.

562
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 5: Now.

563
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 3: She seems a lot more reasonable, she knows and that

564
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 3: she wants to be there for Ope. She recognizes that

565
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,680
Speaker 3: she made a horrible, terrible mistake and that she's trying

566
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 3: to be there for her daughter, which is what the

567
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 3: dad should be doing.

568
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 2: And she seems happy with her relationship that she's in now. Yeah,

569
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 2: I'm just disappointing the mom that she had to that

570
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 2: she didn't go through divorce. Yeah, and decided to like.

571
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 3: She's clearly the a hole in that in that movie.

572
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess we're it's kind of cool that we're like,

573
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 2: we're we already know that situation, but it's like the set,

574
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 2: the second layer of it, Yes, is what we're like

575
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:35,080
Speaker 2: discussion exactly.

576
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,159
Speaker 3: Steve and I had a final sit down before I

577
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 3: called my dad. I asked him to please give me

578
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,920
Speaker 3: his honest opinion. Steve relented and said, well, he thought

579
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 3: what my mother had done was inexcusable. She actually seemed

580
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 3: remorseful and willing to accept the consequences of her actions

581
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 3: and to move on, and that my dad, while a

582
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 3: nice guy, came off as way too sensitive and just weak.

583
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 3: Ooh dang Mann. He said that my dad didn't cheat,

584
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 3: but he had caused me a lot of pain and

585
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 3: anxiety since the divorce, and it made him very angry

586
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 3: and it was getting hard to like or tolerate my dad,

587
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:12,199
Speaker 3: and that his family felt the same way. That my

588
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 3: dad was actually a master bully in disguise as a

589
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 3: super nice guy.

590
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,879
Speaker 2: Nice who so nice guys are manipul.

591
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,399
Speaker 3: I you know what, Steve just read your dad?

592
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 2: Hot freaking take. I do think that this guy needs

593
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:26,160
Speaker 2: to man up?

594
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 3: I agree, and I think he's being a coward. I

595
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,920
Speaker 3: think he is. I think his u clearly Opie's mom

596
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 3: has like gone through a lot of self you know,

597
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 3: work and improvement, and he's just stuck.

598
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 2: Have you seen Crazy Stupid?

599
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 5: I have my favorite, like that movie, my favorite movie.

600
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 5: It's one not my favorite movie on my favorite.

601
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,880
Speaker 3: I was thinking of love actually, which I hate that

602
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 3: movie Crazy Stupid. Love is with Ryan Gossling, right, remember.

603
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 2: Superrel Is is like my wife cheated on me.

604
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he's just.

605
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,720
Speaker 5: In the bar like I'm gonna find your manhood back.

606
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:10,680
Speaker 2: He's like, dude, you let your wife take you away

607
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:13,920
Speaker 2: your manhood and you let this man do that. Wake up.

608
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 2: This guy needs a Ryan Gosling in his life.

609
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:17,480
Speaker 4: Be better than the gap.

610
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is a yeah, sorry I thought you were no.

611
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 2: But I'm just thinking about if Steve Kroll didn't meet

612
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 2: my Ryan Gosling in that movie. This is this guy? Yeah.

613
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 3: I called my dad and asked to come over and

614
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 3: that I needed to talk about something. I sat him

615
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 3: down in his living room so this talk was in

616
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 3: his space where he could retreat if he needed to,

617
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 3: and said basically, Dad, I love you so much. You

618
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 3: mean the world to me, but after the fiasco of

619
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 3: my graduation, I've come to realize I've had enough of

620
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 3: feeling like I have to pick sides for with you

621
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 3: and Mom. I'm sorry about what happened, Dad, I really am,

622
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 3: But that was five years ago. You lost a wife,

623
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 3: but I didn't lose a mom. I'm sure you don't

624
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 3: mean to You've been making me feel like I can't

625
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 3: be close with you if I want to have any

626
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 3: kind of relationship with Mom. If it's still impossible to

627
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 3: even be in the room with her, Dad, then maybe

628
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 3: you need to talk to someone so you can start

629
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,960
Speaker 3: feeling better and not be in so much pain. Is

630
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 3: there some kind of abuse that happened that you're not

631
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 3: telling me about that makes this impossible? My dad seemed

632
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 3: shocked and then started to get really upset and basically

633
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 3: said Mom had never hit him or anything, but that

634
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 3: she cheated and broke his heart and that was reason

635
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 3: enough to cut her out. Dad also said I couldn't

636
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,400
Speaker 3: understand because I hadn't been cheated on and I didn't

637
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 3: know what real love was. She's about have been married.

638
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 4: Dude, Just to comment here, from ggau.

639
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 3: GGA says, y'all better start with all this fanfic. Opie's

640
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 3: mom still cheated with the married mom. Man, she's not

641
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 3: a victim in this. We're not saying that she's a victim.

642
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 2: We're going to this wort.

643
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 3: We're just saying that, Yeah, there is the first layer,

644
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 3: which is she's an a hole for cheating on him,

645
00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 3: and then there's a second layer, which is OPI is

646
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 3: not a part of that relationship at all.

647
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 2: She's just trying to just trying to love.

648
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 3: Her mother and her father, who are still her mother

649
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 3: and their father regardless of what's going on between them.

650
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 2: And one party is okay with coexisting, but the other

651
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 2: parties making.

652
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 3: It very impossible for Oh, he is the person here

653
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 3: that is getting hurts and that's the only person that No.

654
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 2: Pea is not even like super close with her mom anymore.

655
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 2: She's going low contact when he's doing the bare minimum

656
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,160
Speaker 2: to keep her mom in her life.

657
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 3: I didn't know what real love was and also implied

658
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 3: it was my fault and my brother's fault because if

659
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 3: we weren't a part of the relationship, he could move on,

660
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 3: but we always remind him of her and what they had,

661
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 3: and how he because of us, he can't make a

662
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 3: clean break since she's in our lives, et cetera. I'm

663
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 3: sure many reditors will disagree, but this is my dad

664
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 3: being typically passive, insinuating that because my brother and I exist,

665
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 3: he can't get better because we are reminders of mother

666
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 3: and it's our fault we exist, so he can't cut

667
00:31:56,800 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 3: her out totally. I realize that my dad thinks that

668
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 3: if he can get me and my brother to cut

669
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 3: my mom out, not only will he succeed in punishing her,

670
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,160
Speaker 3: but he can have us all to himself and not

671
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 3: have to share her with her and deal with his hurt.

672
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 3: He's getting asked to do to the dirty work for

673
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 3: him so he doesn't have to take responsibility.

674
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 2: A right, bro, you gotta man up. You gotta stop

675
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:18,400
Speaker 2: weaponizing your kids to get back of your action. You

676
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 2: need to weaponize yourself by investing in yourself and showing

677
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 2: how you've moved on and found a better partner, found

678
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 2: a better self of yourself, and just live your life.

679
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 2: Your wife did a scummy thing and she's living that

680
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 2: life and that's her consequence. But you need to come

681
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 2: up and do it yourself and just look up and

682
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 2: stop weaponizing your kids. Literally, gosh, you know what's gonna

683
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 2: be painful is whenever your kids go to her mom

684
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 2: and they're like, oh, how's Dad, and he's like, oh,

685
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 2: my gosh, dad just built a third house for his

686
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 2: new wife. You suck weaponize him in that way of

687
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 2: how great your life is. That's why I used to

688
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 2: have mutual friends with my ex so they would tell

689
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 2: them how well I was doing. And I know she

690
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 2: I live in LA and living my best life.

691
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 3: She knows that.

692
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 2: Because that's how I planned.

693
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 3: I told my dad that I loved him and wanted

694
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 3: him at the wedding, but mother is invited. Her boyfriend isn't,

695
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 3: but she is. I told Dad that I had talked

696
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 3: to her and I promised him she would leave him

697
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 3: alone and stay away from him and his family, and

698
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 3: could he not just put aside differences for a few

699
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,720
Speaker 3: hours to celebrate with me and Steve on our day.

700
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 3: He said, absolutely not, and that I was being unfair

701
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 3: and insensitive, and that my mom had poisoned me against him,

702
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 3: that he wasn't the cheat and she needed to deal

703
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:37,479
Speaker 3: with what she had done and not come, and by

704
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 3: inviting her, I was clearly supporting her cheating and that

705
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 3: we couldn't be close if that was the case because

706
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:42,719
Speaker 3: I was being too much like her.

707
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 2: I say, we go a little contact, yeah, And at

708
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 2: that point.

709
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,160
Speaker 3: I'd be like, Okay, Dad, they can't have a relationship

710
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 3: with you ever going.

711
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 2: To be like this because I don't want my kids

712
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 2: to be around this and my kids to think of

713
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 2: their grandma like this.

714
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 4: And that's just pushing everyone away.

715
00:33:55,400 --> 00:34:00,080
Speaker 3: The fact that he is blaming oh, he's mom, the

716
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 3: mom's cheating on Ope, still ridiculous, very ridicous.

717
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,720
Speaker 4: He's gonna lose everyone. He's lose he lost his wife,

718
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 4: he's gonna lose his daughter.

719
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:13,320
Speaker 3: I had enough. I stood up and said, Dad, Steve,

720
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 3: and I really want you there. You're free to come

721
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 3: or not. I love you, but if you don't come,

722
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 3: it will absolutely affect our relationship going forward. I'm not

723
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:24,640
Speaker 3: doing any more separate celebrations or events. People can either

724
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 3: come or stay home for weddings, parties, births and whatever.

725
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 3: It's getting ridiculous and I'm sick of being in the middle.

726
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 3: The rest is up to you and mom.

727
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 2: Nice, nice, nice, There we go. Then I left, all right.

728
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,799
Speaker 3: I haven't heard from my dad. Since that's been hard,

729
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 3: but I feel like I did the right thing.

730
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 2: You did.

731
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:44,760
Speaker 3: I also called my brother and told him everything that happened.

732
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 3: My brother was very quiet, and then he said, while

733
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 3: he still hates our mom for what she did and

734
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 3: thinks she's in or wow damn, that maybe there is

735
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 3: more to this than he realized, and that he thinks

736
00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 3: our dad is being a selfish, selfish jerk and needs

737
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,880
Speaker 3: to get over himself. He said it's fine Mom is

738
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 3: coming to the wedding and that he would be nice

739
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:08,320
Speaker 3: to her. So that's that. I'm sure many will disagree

740
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,439
Speaker 3: and be angry with me, but Steve and I feel

741
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:11,279
Speaker 3: we made the right call.

742
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 2: You did.

743
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:13,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, in my opinion, you did it.

744
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 2: You did.

745
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 3: Steve loves and supports me, and that's all that matters.

746
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,319
Speaker 3: I talked to my therapist about it, and she said

747
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 3: it's possible I was harsh, but that maybe my dad

748
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 3: needed to hear that since he has been coddled and

749
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:28,400
Speaker 3: enabled for five years. I am fully prepared for my

750
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:31,440
Speaker 3: dad to not show up. If he doesn't, it's his loss.

751
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 3: Thanks again to everyone who gave me input. Some of

752
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 3: your comments were very eye opening. I may post an

753
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 3: update in the future after the wedding, but I haven't

754
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 3: decided yet. And edit, I wanted to point out some

755
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 3: things that keep coming up.

756
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,200
Speaker 2: I have one thought, Yeah, you can say it, it

757
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:49,800
Speaker 2: does suck. I mean where we can keep going in

758
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 2: circles about like the mom and dad. I feel like

759
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:53,440
Speaker 2: we have a good stance on the mom. We have

760
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 2: a good stance on how we how about we feel

761
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 2: about the dad. The brother seems like he's kind of

762
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,120
Speaker 2: getting coming around. He's like, oh, I didn't realize, like

763
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:03,440
Speaker 2: I don't like mom. But also that's being Yeah, he

764
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,759
Speaker 2: didn't realize how bad it was. And also Steve again, guys.

765
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 3: Steve at the end of the that Steve is a

766
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 3: is a constant Steve is killing it.

767
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 2: Yep.

768
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wanted to point out some things that keep

769
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,800
Speaker 3: coming up. Remember, I come from a religion and culture

770
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 3: that is very different from most people here. Divorce is

771
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:28,320
Speaker 3: shameful for us, It is humiliating. The only justifiable reason

772
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:31,439
Speaker 3: for divorce is an affair. For our people, divorce because

773
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 3: you're not happy is not an excusable reason. An affair

774
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:39,240
Speaker 3: is the only way out, which again does not justify

775
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:40,720
Speaker 3: the mom, but does kind.

776
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,880
Speaker 2: Of give because they're religious.

777
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:45,960
Speaker 3: It does give a little bit more content because the

778
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 3: only way you can divorce is an affair is in Yeah,

779
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 3: is if.

780
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,520
Speaker 2: Someone's being unfaithful. And I think there was another reason,

781
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 2: but I think that's something I can't remember to mind.

782
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,760
Speaker 3: However, that being said, the person who commits the affair

783
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 3: has just crippled themselves. Spicy sleep is very holy and

784
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,680
Speaker 3: pure in our religion and culture. It is to be

785
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:09,600
Speaker 3: between husband and wife only. That's it, and if you

786
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:12,319
Speaker 3: break up a marriage because of it, you're forever blacklisted.

787
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 3: While my mother could sush should have gotten a divorce

788
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:17,880
Speaker 3: without having an affair, she still would have had a

789
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:21,440
Speaker 3: scarlet letter on her chest for getting divorced for no reason,

790
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,239
Speaker 3: which is an ultimate act of selfishness.

791
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:28,000
Speaker 2: They are Mormon, Yeah, they are Mormon. She is twenty

792
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 2: two getting married right away.

793
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:33,120
Speaker 3: Marriage is very holy in our culture. To divorce for

794
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 3: any reason other than an affair is to be like

795
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 3: an unbelieving sinner, which is quite simply not acceptable.

796
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:38,760
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

797
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,839
Speaker 3: I don't necessarily agree with this, as I'm a little

798
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 3: more liberal than the rest of my family and most people,

799
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:47,279
Speaker 3: but it is what it is. My mother did not

800
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:49,880
Speaker 3: get off Scott Free. She is no longer welcome in

801
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 3: her church and none of her friends associate with her anymore.

802
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,920
Speaker 3: Her family, her friends, her church, her entire community has

803
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 3: shunned her. She also lost her job because Dipping your

804
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:02,759
Speaker 3: Pen and Company, Inc. Is expressly frowned upon at her

805
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:06,320
Speaker 3: former workplace because remember, she had an affair with her coworker.

806
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:08,080
Speaker 2: Dip in your ink, that's funny.

807
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 3: Both she and her lover lost their jobs and ad

808
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 3: tofy new ones.

809
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 2: So wait, with our company, what if someone is having relationships.

810
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,760
Speaker 3: With the coworker in our company?

811
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:18,440
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

812
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:23,440
Speaker 3: Ah, you're fired. You fired.

813
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 2: Riley should have fire me six months ago.

814
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 3: Then many are saying I need to start including my

815
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:30,799
Speaker 3: mom's partner and things, and saying the fact she has

816
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 3: been with him this whole time shows they have something

817
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 3: special and actually does not. I didn't put this in

818
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 3: my post, but my mom and I actually talked about

819
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 3: her boyfriend for the first time. They are on the

820
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:43,239
Speaker 3: verge of breaking up and the relationship has been rocky

821
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,520
Speaker 3: for a while. He's family and friends have disowned him too.

822
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 3: He is not of our religion or culture. Double bogus

823
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,959
Speaker 3: for my mom for taking a lover outside of the faith,

824
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:55,440
Speaker 3: but no one wants anything to do with Pete. His

825
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 3: ex wife has made their lives heck and will not

826
00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 3: let them see his kids. When he does see them,

827
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 3: I treat my mother terribly and make their hatred known.

828
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,319
Speaker 3: P is also sick of being not invited to every

829
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:07,840
Speaker 3: family event on her side and said Mom needs to

830
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,920
Speaker 3: start demanding he'd be invited to things. Mom is of

831
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 3: the viewpoint that they brought misery on themselves and need

832
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:18,359
Speaker 3: to accept the consequences of their actions, and furthermore, knows

833
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 3: that if she insisted on bringing peas, she would burn

834
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 3: the last of the bridges she has with us and

835
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,160
Speaker 3: will not do that. He is sick of her not

836
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 3: putting him first, and the relationship is falling apart because

837
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:32,400
Speaker 3: of it. Dang man, The only reason they have lasted

838
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 3: this long is because Mom and pe only have each

839
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 3: other because no one else wants them dang. On top

840
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:43,360
Speaker 3: of it, ouch ouch ouch, and they both know it.

841
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,400
Speaker 3: My mom actually does love her boyfriend, but he doesn't

842
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 3: love her anymore and she knows they aren't gonna make it.

843
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:52,719
Speaker 3: By the way, you guys should always make it to

844
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:56,360
Speaker 3: another full episode with stories just like this. Just go

845
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:59,279
Speaker 3: to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app and

846
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:03,320
Speaker 3: search a bookst time. But there is a little teeny

847
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 3: bit left to the story.

848
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 2: So mom's not really winning in this scenario. The mom

849
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 2: has been losing a lot, and yeah, I hate it

850
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 2: for it. I mean, you know, everyone.

851
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,640
Speaker 3: Black, but this story is not black and white. It's

852
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 3: not she should not have cheated, but also she came

853
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,800
Speaker 3: from a really religious family and didn't feel like she

854
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 3: could divorce. Again, it doesn't excuse it.

855
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:30,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, she just didn't feel like she had another option out.

856
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, and the husband was I mean, Opie's father was

857
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 3: cheated on, which is terrible, and now he's acting like

858
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 3: a child. So like, it's just very not a black and.

859
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,480
Speaker 5: White just look at look at it here mom as

860
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:47,880
Speaker 5: a parent, great parent, but as a lover as a

861
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 5: partner not so great. But there's again not so black

862
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:52,640
Speaker 5: and white also father.

863
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:57,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, agreed, agreed. Also, Hattie Vincent said she is Mormon,

864
00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:00,319
Speaker 2: and she says she doesn't think it's from the Mormon church. Hmm,

865
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,719
Speaker 2: maybe be I mean I could see it witnesses, you

866
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 2: have a witnesses. I mean I could see it, like

867
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:09,920
Speaker 2: you know, like like Baptist or non denominational, no denominational,

868
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 2: sort of like a mixed bag, but like from a

869
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 2: Baptist standpoint, I could see that, or like, uh, I

870
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:21,240
Speaker 2: think my grandma's was someone with a p Presbyterian. Presbyterian standpoint,

871
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:25,400
Speaker 2: I could see that if they're pretty like about it. Yeah, overall,

872
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:28,839
Speaker 2: I don't know what sect of religion this is a dude,

873
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:30,920
Speaker 2: it could be left field. It could be like as

874
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 2: long as I'm way that it's a Buddhist.

875
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think it would be Buddhist.

876
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 4: We don't know.

877
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 3: Many are saying, even explicitly, hoping Steve cheats on me.

878
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 3: So I understand my dad's pain. People in commons are

879
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:49,440
Speaker 3: crazy because I clearly don't since I haven't been cheated on. Hey,

880
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:54,759
Speaker 3: that's what my dad said. Those people are crazy. This

881
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 3: experience has actually taught me the opposite. If Steve were

882
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,200
Speaker 3: to cheat, I would be out of my mind, within

883
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,359
Speaker 3: and hurt. I wouldn't be able to function. I don't

884
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:05,400
Speaker 3: blame my dad for being unable to be around my

885
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 3: mother at first. If I had children with Steve, as

886
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:10,600
Speaker 3: much as it would suck, I would put on my

887
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:12,879
Speaker 3: big girl pants and do what needed to be done

888
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:16,440
Speaker 3: for my kids. I've gotten plenty of comments and pms

889
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 3: from people who were cheated on and heartbroken and devastated,

890
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,880
Speaker 3: and they did what needed to be done. Since I

891
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 3: now know what it's like to have parents that pick

892
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:27,439
Speaker 3: their pain over their kids, I know I would never

893
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:30,320
Speaker 3: want to put my kids through that. It's just basic

894
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:33,719
Speaker 3: human decency. I am not on any parent's side. I

895
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:35,920
Speaker 3: don't love either of my parents more, nor do I

896
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 3: think either should be demonized and bashed or out on

897
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 3: a pedestal and coddled. My parents are human and imperfect.

898
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 3: They are both great people, and they both have done

899
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 3: some really crappy things. That's it, and that's all. Dang,

900
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 3: what a little slice of life from this person. Truly,

901
00:42:55,160 --> 00:43:00,360
Speaker 3: just like a I'm just gray area of a storysolutely,

902
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 3: I can't tell. You can't say people that are black white.

903
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:06,839
Speaker 2: And I'm just praying that this doesn't bleed into her

904
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:10,239
Speaker 2: own marriage with Steve. Yeah, that this doesn't effect or

905
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 2: become a role model. I know right now, yes, but

906
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 2: years sure after seeing it.

907
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:19,440
Speaker 3: It seems like they are already going to marriage counseling

908
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:21,680
Speaker 3: and financial counseling. I think they are on a good

909
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 3: footing and.

910
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 2: Steve is a w and Steve Man, I do want

911
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:28,800
Speaker 2: to go to financial counseling. I'm going to add that

912
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:33,640
Speaker 2: to my things. Yeah, I'm marriage counseling. Pre marriageable counseling

913
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:34,879
Speaker 2: is a absolute Yeah.

914
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:36,919
Speaker 3: I think talking about your finances is super important before

915
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:37,399
Speaker 3: you get married.

916
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 2: I think my my thoughts are, if you're in a

917
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 2: relationship for two years, some form of counseling together is good.

918
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 2: It's like maintenance repair, not like there's no problem. It's

919
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 2: just like, how can I put my best ford food?

920
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:53,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, counseling's ever a bad thing? Yeah, Yeah, it's not.

921
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:55,719
Speaker 4: It's like, doesn't mean there's something bad that's going on.

922
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 4: It's good to have.

923
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 2: But that is the end of that story, not the episode.

924
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:02,399
Speaker 2: What got one more?

925
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 1: Hey Sam, we're gonna get back to the stories. But

926
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:06,200
Speaker 1: here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors.

927
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:09,880
Speaker 2: I kept getting paired to a single groomsman. I'm tired

928
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 2: of it. This happened at a wedding I was a

929
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:16,440
Speaker 2: bridesmaids at a few weeks ago. I thirty five female,

930
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,879
Speaker 2: I've never been married, no kids, and more than likely

931
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,320
Speaker 2: will be the last of my friend group to get married.

932
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 2: I have been a bridesmaid to two many times to count.

933
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:27,360
Speaker 3: Ooh twenty seven dresses.

934
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:33,200
Speaker 2: Almost always I get paired off with another single guy.

935
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,839
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Substantial Tea forty one

936
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:38,560
Speaker 2: and on the ar Slash Okay story jump subredded. So

937
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:42,000
Speaker 2: my family and friends treat this as an attempt to

938
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 2: hurt me up with another single game. They think it

939
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,839
Speaker 2: would be so romantic if we tell our grandkids who

940
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:53,279
Speaker 2: we met at a wedding. I've never been interested in

941
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:56,640
Speaker 2: these guys. At the last wedding I was at, I

942
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 2: was paired off with the grooms forty two year old

943
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:03,319
Speaker 2: step brother off the bat. I wasn't interested in Dave.

944
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,439
Speaker 2: If I were to see his profile on a dating app,

945
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:08,920
Speaker 2: I would immediately swipe left.

946
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 3: This is annoying because I feel like, not one, it's

947
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 3: annoying that they keep trying to pair you up with

948
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 3: someone of them and you're like hey stop, but also

949
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 3: two that they're pairing up with you up with people

950
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 3: that like, aren't your taste.

951
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 2: They're like getting desperate. They're like, all right, anyone, Yeah.

952
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:27,520
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. If my my friends know my taste, and

953
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:32,240
Speaker 3: if your friends don't know your tastes are your friends.

954
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 2: Now you're freaking friends. Back to this wedding. I get

955
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:39,239
Speaker 2: through the ceremony and I'm now at the reception. I

956
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:41,520
Speaker 2: run into some old friends I haven't seen a long

957
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 2: time and didn't know they would be in Zown. So

958
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 2: we spent the night together, catching up and covertently watching

959
00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 2: a VCH gay veg K game someone was streaming on

960
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:54,439
Speaker 2: their phone. Their bride came up to me and asked

961
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 2: if I wanted to sit with Dave. He was alone

962
00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 2: at a table and wanted to get to know me better.

963
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 2: I told her sorry, I wasn't interested and went back

964
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 2: to talking with my friends. If Dave wanted to talk

965
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:08,719
Speaker 2: to me, well, he's a growing ass man and could

966
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 2: do it himself. I spent the night hanging out with

967
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 2: my friends, having a great time. I didn't think too

968
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:16,719
Speaker 2: much of it until a few weeks later. I see

969
00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 2: the bride at a party and she doesn't even greet me.

970
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:24,399
Speaker 2: She tells me that I was a witch for ignoring Dave.

971
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 2: Apparently he thought I was cute and wanted to get

972
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 2: to know me better.

973
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:31,719
Speaker 3: Okay, who cares to make the move? Dog? Think that

974
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 3: make the move?

975
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 2: Make the move? He just couldn't because he struggles with

976
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:40,399
Speaker 2: social cues. At least I could have just saw him

977
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:43,279
Speaker 2: for a few minutes and be nice to him. First off,

978
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 2: I'm sick of being just nice to make a man happy.

979
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 2: I told her that I was just there to be

980
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:51,759
Speaker 2: a bridesmaid, not to be a mender from middle aged man.

981
00:46:53,239 --> 00:46:56,799
Speaker 2: She still called me out for being rude stuck up witch.

982
00:46:57,239 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 2: Was I the a hole or was the bride going

983
00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:03,440
Speaker 2: out line? One more thing. A few months before the wedding,

984
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:05,960
Speaker 2: I started to see a guy I met at a conference.

985
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 2: I never told anyone because I was sure if the

986
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 2: relationship would last at the time. I don't plan on

987
00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:14,480
Speaker 2: telling anyone until we hit a milestone because there would

988
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 2: be some pushback. It's an international, long distance relationship. Even

989
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:21,919
Speaker 2: if I were single. I'm not interested in Dave.

990
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 3: I mean, it doesn't at the end of the day,

991
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 3: it doesn't matter if you're in a relationship or not.

992
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:28,279
Speaker 3: Your friends should respect that you don't want to be

993
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 3: set up with these random guys that you're not interested in.

994
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:35,279
Speaker 2: Top comment. Indeed, you were not nor should have been

995
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:38,759
Speaker 2: a minder for a middle aged man. If Dave thought

996
00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:40,480
Speaker 2: you were cute and wanted to spend time with you.

997
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:43,800
Speaker 2: He could have opened his mouth and said so. Imagine

998
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:46,239
Speaker 2: if you ended up dating or marrying Dave, then you

999
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 2: could be his social coordinator and handholder, possibly for the

1000
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 2: rest of your life. Doesn't that sound like a plan?

1001
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:56,879
Speaker 2: S sarcasm. If you had been told being a date

1002
00:47:56,960 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 2: with Dave was the bride's expectation of you as a

1003
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:03,520
Speaker 2: member of the bridal party, you could have saved yourself

1004
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 2: some money and time and excuse yourself from the whole event.

1005
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:09,520
Speaker 2: Opie says, if I know how to maybe set an

1006
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 2: underemployed forty two year old man who is twice my size,

1007
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:15,640
Speaker 2: I would have dropped out of the bridesmaids detail and

1008
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 2: then retire from the position and opt was deemed Nott

1009
00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:22,400
Speaker 2: the a hole. We got a freaking update for you, guys,

1010
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:25,320
Speaker 2: Stuart update. Hello. I made my last post about a

1011
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,400
Speaker 2: year ago about a wedding and I ignored the groomsman

1012
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:32,480
Speaker 2: who wanted to get with me. I didn't get much attention,

1013
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 2: but the comments were pretty life affirming. I've been going

1014
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 2: through a pretty hard time for a few years now.

1015
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:43,439
Speaker 2: It's frustrating to see your friends that find that one

1016
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:47,000
Speaker 2: and settle down while you're struggling to navigate your thirties alone,

1017
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:51,040
Speaker 2: especially when you're from a family and a part of

1018
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:53,439
Speaker 2: a country where if a woman isn't married with kids

1019
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 2: by a certain age, something must be wrong with her. Yeah,

1020
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:59,000
Speaker 2: she's total loco, she's total crazy.

1021
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 3: Christ she totally she's a single woman in her thirties.

1022
00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 3: So surprissy.

1023
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 2: My family and friends being well, but they don't see

1024
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:12,399
Speaker 2: how their actions hurt me. Dave did try to reach

1025
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 2: out to me after the wedding, but I just blocked him.

1026
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:18,040
Speaker 2: I haven't seen, or do I care to know what

1027
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:20,840
Speaker 2: he's up to. I stopped talking to the bride. I

1028
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,719
Speaker 2: really didn't appreciate the name calling or being expected to

1029
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:27,279
Speaker 2: babysit a middle aged man. Anyway, I wanted to update

1030
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,320
Speaker 2: on this story so I can close that part of

1031
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 2: my life. After the wedding, I made it clear to

1032
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 2: everyone I am done being a bridesmaid. I am officially retired.

1033
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:39,279
Speaker 2: If you're getting married, good for you. I'm not going

1034
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 2: to be bridesmaid, not even for all expenses paid bachelotte

1035
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 2: trip to Cancun. I think the fact I was getting

1036
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:48,920
Speaker 2: wasted and watching a hockey game with friends at the

1037
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:52,279
Speaker 2: reception set it all I'm just burnt out from going

1038
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:55,560
Speaker 2: to too many weddings. That retirement became official over the summer.

1039
00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:59,359
Speaker 2: I had mentioned that I was in a long distance relationship.

1040
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,600
Speaker 2: It didn't work out, but it did introduce me to

1041
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:05,480
Speaker 2: a pretty big career opportunity. I spent a pretty big

1042
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:07,960
Speaker 2: chunk of my twenty twenty four applying for this gig,

1043
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:10,560
Speaker 2: waiting to see if I got hired. When I did

1044
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 2: pose out my life in America. Now I'm living in Australia,

1045
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:16,920
Speaker 2: got a job I love, and being able to be

1046
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 2: my own person. I cut my hair, got some tattoos,

1047
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,839
Speaker 2: found a hobby I love. I have new friends who

1048
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:25,240
Speaker 2: run the same vibe as me, and we could continue

1049
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 2: this vibe right now. Go to your favorite podcast platform,

1050
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:32,240
Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, whatever it is, search up Okay, storytime,

1051
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:35,120
Speaker 2: and we can get this vibe going for days on

1052
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:38,879
Speaker 2: the egglay right there, man, oh man?

1053
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:39,839
Speaker 5: Know what? Girl?

1054
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:41,839
Speaker 2: She stood up and said, I'm a I'm a owe

1055
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:43,320
Speaker 2: my life. I'm not gonna tell people what to do.

1056
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 3: She said, I don't. I'm not gonna go to a

1057
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:46,880
Speaker 3: party if everyone's gonna try to set me up with

1058
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:48,160
Speaker 3: people that I don't want to be sold with it.

1059
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 3: Those are not my real friends. They're not If they

1060
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:53,399
Speaker 3: were your real friends, they would be like, oh girl,

1061
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:57,719
Speaker 3: you're single and not ready to mingle because you're living

1062
00:50:57,800 --> 00:50:58,160
Speaker 3: your life.

1063
00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:01,919
Speaker 2: That's right, and you don't need you don't need no man, Dave.

1064
00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 2: You don't need Dave. All you need is you and

1065
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:07,480
Speaker 2: to make your own mistakes.

1066
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:08,239
Speaker 1: I love that.

1067
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:08,959
Speaker 3: That was nice.

1068
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, And also like, if you're with friends and they're

1069
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:12,920
Speaker 2: trying to shut you up, you need to fall in love,

1070
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:15,000
Speaker 2: you know, naturally yourself.

1071
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 3: I agreed, agreed. I remember I had a friend. Oh

1072
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,760
Speaker 3: my god, oh still pisses me off. Oh my goodness.

1073
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:24,520
Speaker 3: I'm trying to remember what they said. Oh, this guy

1074
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 3: liked me. And I told I was telling this this

1075
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 3: ex friend. I was like, oh, you're like, I don't

1076
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:33,759
Speaker 3: like them. And they were like, you need to say

1077
00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 3: yes or you're gonna end up like alone or have

1078
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 3: to go on like hinge dates. It said something like that.

1079
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:43,880
Speaker 2: I was like, so happened recently? No, okay, yeah, I

1080
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 2: was like.

1081
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:48,719
Speaker 3: What they said something along those lines. I was, but no, no,

1082
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:50,959
Speaker 3: I don't even know who you're talking about.

1083
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:52,760
Speaker 2: You went through this, you went through the same similar

1084
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:57,000
Speaker 2: situation like last week, did I rest of the story.

1085
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 2: I don't think I'm going to get married. If I do,

1086
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:01,640
Speaker 2: that's great, But my age, I don't think kids or

1087
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:04,400
Speaker 2: in my future anymore. And you know what, I'm starting

1088
00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 2: to accept that my family doesn't. But I have siblings

1089
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:11,080
Speaker 2: with kids, so my parents can spoil them. I think

1090
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:14,680
Speaker 2: I just needed to get away from a really restrictive

1091
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 2: place in order to find my own happiness. Thanks guys,

1092
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:20,439
Speaker 2: I really needed this advice in my life. Still love

1093
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 2: the v GK and now I can rep for them

1094
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:25,000
Speaker 2: down under.

1095
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:26,239
Speaker 3: Let's go.

1096
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:28,160
Speaker 2: That's such a good story.

1097
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:29,920
Speaker 3: Yourself.

1098
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:40,480
Speaker 2: Yeay, love it guys. We love you. Please subscribe, No

1099
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:40,880
Speaker 2: you go?

1100
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:41,600
Speaker 3: I love you.

1101
00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 2: And see it tomorrow tomorrow and swe see you.

1102
00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:48,400
Speaker 4: We see you.