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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationship, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEBFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type

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Speaker 2: to guide it for you. Here it is Strawberry letta.

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Speaker 1: All right, neph you, thank you. Subject to patiently waiting

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Speaker 1: for my man to settle down here, Stephen Shirley, I'm

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Speaker 1: seeking advice, but I know what you are going to

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Speaker 1: tell me. I have a man in my life that

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Speaker 1: I've been with for three years. I say that I've

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Speaker 1: been with him because he has not been with me, well,

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Speaker 1: not the whole time. I have seen him out with

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Speaker 1: other women a few times while we were supposed to

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Speaker 1: be dating. I also made sure he saw me, and

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Speaker 1: then I go home and wait for him to call

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Speaker 1: or come by and lie to me about what I saw.

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Speaker 1: It bothered me at first, but I'm used to it now.

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Speaker 1: At first, I messed up and told my friends and

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Speaker 1: family how his actions hurt me. Big mistake. I'm a

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Speaker 1: lot wiser now and I act like things are going

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Speaker 1: great in my relationship, so they don't judge me. They

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Speaker 1: can't stand my man because of me. My sister in

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Speaker 1: law works with a woman that he was seeing around

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Speaker 1: Christmas time. The lady bought him a TV for Christmas,

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Speaker 1: and he gave it to me for my bedroom. I

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Speaker 1: wanted to thank the lady for her contribution. I like

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Speaker 1: to take lemons and make lemonade. I have told my

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Speaker 1: friends and family that nothing they tell me will ever

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Speaker 1: make me hate my man. I don't condone his cheating,

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Speaker 1: but the way he makes it up to me makes

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Speaker 1: all of the agony worthwhile. I am sure this is

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Speaker 1: where you start judging me, but when I weigh the

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Speaker 1: pros and cons, I am winning. I have access to

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Speaker 1: one of his accounts and he spends all of his

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Speaker 1: money on me. My sister in law even confirmed that

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Speaker 1: he doesn't spend any money on the lady that off

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Speaker 1: us the TV. I don't want to start over with

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Speaker 1: a new man only to find out that he cheats too. Eventually,

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend will get tired of running around and I'll

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Speaker 1: be here waiting. Is it a full proof plan or

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Speaker 1: am I wasting my time? Full proof plan? No wasting

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Speaker 1: your time yet, But I got to ask you, why

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Speaker 1: are you writing Steve and I. You know you're not

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Speaker 1: going to listen to anything we tell you. Your folks

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Speaker 1: have already tried that. Your friends have tried that to

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Speaker 1: tell you about him. You didn't listen to them because

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Speaker 1: you don't want our advice. You just want us to

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Speaker 1: tell you you're right and that, yes, he will eventually settle

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Speaker 1: down with you and only you one day. That seems

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Speaker 1: to be how you've worked it out in your head anyway.

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Speaker 1: And this man is trash because he has no respect

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Speaker 1: for you or your relationship.

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Speaker 3: This is sad.

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Speaker 1: And I know deep down you really don't want a

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Speaker 1: man who cheats, but you've convinced yourself that this is

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Speaker 1: the best you can do. In other words, it's better

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Speaker 1: to have a man that cheats than no man at all.

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Speaker 1: You cannot really believe that. I mean, so what, he

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Speaker 1: gave you a TV and has given you access to

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Speaker 1: his bank account. He still cheats on you and he's

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Speaker 1: been doing it for years. How is this okay in

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Speaker 1: your mind? Because of the money, you said, This is agony,

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Speaker 1: and I know this has to be agony for you.

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Speaker 1: He's never going to stop cheating on you because he

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Speaker 1: knows you're never going to leave him. He has no

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Speaker 1: incentive to stop because he knows you'll always take him back.

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Speaker 1: And this has been going on for three years now.

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Speaker 1: You say you're winning, You're not winning. You are losing

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Speaker 1: to a loser.

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Speaker 3: Steve Lady Surely said something really smart. Sureley said, I

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Speaker 3: don't know why you wrote us, because you're not going

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Speaker 3: to listen to anything we say, because you just told

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Speaker 3: us that you'll fail. Can't tell you nothing about him

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Speaker 3: that would make you leave him.

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Speaker 4: So I don't know what you think we're gonna do,

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Speaker 4: but I'm gonna tell you something from the male perspective.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna give you this letter from the male perspective.

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Speaker 4: Let me see how you feel after you hear this.

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Speaker 4: You say I'm seeking advice, but I know what you're

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Speaker 4: going to tell me. That means that you already know

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Speaker 4: what's best, but you've somehow ignored it. I have a

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Speaker 4: man in my life that i've been with for three years.

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Speaker 4: I say that i've been with him because he's not

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Speaker 4: been with me okay, cool, Then you don't have a man.

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Speaker 4: You don't have a man if you're going to allow

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Speaker 4: me to do what I want to do whenever I

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Speaker 4: want to do it, and I can get away with it,

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Speaker 4: there are no consequences.

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Speaker 3: You're not my woman. You this peace I'm dealing with that.

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Speaker 3: I can run over.

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Speaker 4: You're a doormat to me, and I can come in here,

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Speaker 4: wipe my feet off on you and screwed up under

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Speaker 4: the whenever I want to. I've seen him out with

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Speaker 4: other women a few times while we were supposed to

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Speaker 4: be dating. You've seen him out with women plural a

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Speaker 4: few times while y'all was dating.

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Speaker 3: You saw it for yourself. Didn't nobody come and tell you?

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Speaker 2: So?

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Speaker 3: You saw it for yourself.

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Speaker 4: Always made sure he saw me, and then I go

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Speaker 4: home and wait for him to call and come by.

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Speaker 3: And lie to me about what I saw.

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Speaker 4: Well, that's brilliant, oh man, What a great way to

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Speaker 4: spend in the evening. What a great way to be

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Speaker 4: in a relationship with a person. If I'm out as

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Speaker 4: a man with another woman and we're supposed to be dating,

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Speaker 4: and you make sure I see you.

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Speaker 3: And then you go home and wait to see.

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Speaker 4: What I'm gonna say, I ain't got to say nothing.

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Speaker 4: Yeah you saw me what? So at first I messed

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Speaker 4: up and told my friends and family how his actions

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Speaker 4: hurt me. Big mistake. I'm a lot wiser now and

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Speaker 4: I act like things are going great in my relationship

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Speaker 4: so they can't judge me. Did you what you just said?

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Speaker 4: You did a total contradiction. You used to tell your

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Speaker 4: friends how he hurt you. That was a big mistake

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Speaker 4: because now they judge you. So now you act like

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Speaker 4: things are going great in your relationship, just so they

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Speaker 4: won't judge you, and you won't have to hear how

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Speaker 4: big a fool you are. They can't stand my man

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Speaker 4: because of me. You ought not be able to stand you,

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Speaker 4: the one. I don't know how you can't standing me

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Speaker 4: them right?

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Speaker 1: Hang on, Steve, hang on? Well, have part two of

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Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the

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Speaker 1: hour Today's Strawberry Letters subject patiently waiting for my man

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Speaker 1: to settle down. We'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to Steve Hardy Morning Show.

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Speaker 4: Get into the Hundai get away sales event and get

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Speaker 4: away with the deal. So right, it almost feels wrong, right,

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Speaker 4: now get huge savings on our popular models, including our

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Speaker 4: all electric with America's most awarded EV lineup.

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Speaker 3: Like the Ionic five or Ionic six.

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Speaker 2: Get down to your local Hondai dealer and get away

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Speaker 2: with a great deal only during the Hondai Getaway Sale event.

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Speaker 2: Visit Hyundai USA dot com for details.

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve. Let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject is patiently waiting for my man to settle down.

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Speaker 4: Here's a woman who has a plan that is so

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Speaker 4: far gone it's never going to happen. Patiently waiting on

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Speaker 4: my man to settle down. You've been with a man

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Speaker 4: for three years. You've caught him out cheating on you

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Speaker 4: several times with other women. You've seen it for yourself.

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Speaker 4: You made sure he saw you, and then your plan

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Speaker 4: was to go back home and wait home to call

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Speaker 4: or come over and lie to you about what you saw.

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Speaker 4: You said it bothered me at first, but I'm used

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Speaker 4: to it now. Wow, So how have you conditioned yourself

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Speaker 4: to be subpar?

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Speaker 1: So?

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Speaker 4: What you've done is you've gotten used to the fact

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Speaker 4: and condition yourself that I'm not number one. I'm not

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Speaker 4: worthy of being respected and treated right, and I'm okay

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Speaker 4: with that. Lady, you need to feel better about yourself

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Speaker 4: because it's obvious you don't feel that way about yourself,

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Speaker 4: and so he ain't gonna he ain't gonna treat you

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Speaker 4: that way.

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Speaker 3: Then you say, at first you messed up.

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Speaker 4: You told your friends and friends and family how his

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Speaker 4: actions hurt you.

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Speaker 3: Big mistake.

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Speaker 4: I'm alled wiser now and I act like things are

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Speaker 4: going greater in my relationship.

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Speaker 3: That's not wiser. That doesn't make you wiser.

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Speaker 4: You're more conditioned to accept bad behavior. You're more conditioned

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Speaker 4: to allow this man to treat you any kind of

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Speaker 4: way he wants you.

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Speaker 3: You allow him to use you as a doormat things.

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Speaker 4: So they can't stand my man because of me, No, lady,

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Speaker 4: they can't stand your mad because of how he treats you.

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Speaker 4: And you told them that, So they hate him for you,

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Speaker 4: because you too stupid to hate him yourself, because you

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Speaker 4: have degraded yourself down to some second, third class citizen

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Speaker 4: that's not worthy to be treated like a woman and

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Speaker 4: a lady. My sister in law works with a woman

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Speaker 4: that he was seeing around Christmas time the lady brought

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Speaker 4: him a TV Christmas and he gave it to me

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Speaker 4: for my bedroom. I wanted to thank the lady for

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Speaker 4: her contribution. Okay, so what else is wrong with you?

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Speaker 4: This woman gave your man a TV for Christmas? He

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Speaker 4: thought enough of you. Well, wow, now I ain't got

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Speaker 4: to buy her nothing. I'm a Greek. Gift her a

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Speaker 4: TV that my the chick gave me, So that was

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Speaker 4: your Christmas guilt. I wanted to call her and thank

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Speaker 4: the lady for her contribution. Wow, where are you and

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Speaker 4: all of this?

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Speaker 1: Man?

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Speaker 4: Where is the real you? Because you just I mean,

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Speaker 4: this is not even funny to me. This is really sad.

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Speaker 4: If you were my daughter, if you were my daughter, girl,

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Speaker 4: we're not doing this right here, because I'm telling you

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Speaker 4: right now, you don't have I like to take lemons

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Speaker 4: and make lemonade. But your lemonade ain't good though. No,

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Speaker 4: you don't even know how to take lemonade. Your lemons

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Speaker 4: is rotten. See you taking rotten lemons and you're making

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Speaker 4: lemonade with rotten lemons, that's what you're doing. I've told

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Speaker 4: my friends and family that nothing they can tell me

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Speaker 4: would ever make.

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Speaker 3: Me hate my man. So I don't know what you

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Speaker 3: want me and surely to do. Like she said, I

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Speaker 3: don't condone his cheating, but the way he makes.

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Speaker 4: It up to me makes all the agony worthwhile there

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Speaker 4: is no making up for agony to me.

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Speaker 3: So y'all he's sleeping with you that good.

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Speaker 4: Well, you have this temporary moment of ecstasy and it

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Speaker 4: justifies him doing what he wanted to do. That's gonna

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Speaker 4: get an old lady. I am sure this is where

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Speaker 4: you start judging me. I'm not judging me. You's something

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Speaker 4: wrong with you. I have access, but when I weigh

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Speaker 4: the pros and cons, I'm winning.

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Speaker 3: No, you're not.

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Speaker 4: You're losing in every aspect. He's winning, but you're losing.

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Speaker 4: I have access to one of his accounts, and he

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Speaker 4: spends all of his money on me.

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Speaker 3: You know the account that you have access to that

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Speaker 3: has very little in it.

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Speaker 4: My sister in law even confirmed that he didn't spend

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Speaker 4: any money on the lady that bought us the TV.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to start with a new man. You

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Speaker 4: don't have a man. You ain't starting, no, but you

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Speaker 4: ain't got one in the beginning. He's not your man,

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Speaker 4: only to find out that he cheats, what difference do

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Speaker 4: it make the one you got cheating? Eventually my boyfriend

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Speaker 4: will get tired of running around, and I'll be here waiting.

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Speaker 4: Is it a food proof playing on my wasting my time?

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Speaker 4: Let me explain something to you. Eventually your boyfriend will

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Speaker 4: get tired of running around. But when he settled down,

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Speaker 4: it's not gonna be with you. No very Seldom do

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Speaker 4: the other chick win, and right now you the other chick.

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Speaker 4: He has no intentions of settling down anytime soon because

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Speaker 4: every first of all, everything he does with you has

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Speaker 4: no consequences. He can get busted with other women. He

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Speaker 4: can give you a TV that another lady gave him.

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Speaker 4: He ain't got to buy you nothing for Christmas. He

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Speaker 4: gets there's no consequences. You don't decided, that's nothing anybody

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Speaker 4: can tell you about him. And then all the agony

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Speaker 4: he sends you through, he makes it up to you

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Speaker 4: and it's all worthwhile. You have got to stop being

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Speaker 4: ignorant and start thinking more of yourself than him, because

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Speaker 4: he thinks plenty of himself and very little of you.

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Speaker 3: You late to stop this. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve BARBFM

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Speaker 1: on Instagram and on Facebook. And check out the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app for it Never

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Speaker 1: Sounded So Good, you can download it. Today you're listening

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Speaker 1: to the Steve Harvey Morning Show