00:00:08
Speaker 1: And I invited you here thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your own presences presents enough.

00:00:31
Speaker 2: I already had too much stuff, So how did you dare.

00:00:36
Speaker 3: To surbey me?

00:00:48
Speaker 4: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Richard Wineker. My life is in shambles. Where you know, we're recording here amidst the rain disaster that I've been living through the past few weeks. I'm now dreading mold. I'm just there's an underlying dread in my mind at all times. So you're going to feel that throughout the episode. You're not going to be comfortable. You're not going to be at ease, so just please bear with me. We have to talk to today's guest, and it's he's kind of making history on the podcast. He's the first guest to return for a full episode. Unbelievable. It's who knows how this happened. It's Jeff Loveness.

00:01:34
Speaker 3: Great to be back in the cage with you. Bridger can't stay why?

00:01:38
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:01:38
Speaker 3: How, I mean, where is the damage?

00:01:41
Speaker 1: Where?

00:01:42
Speaker 3: Because I've been here before, doesn't look too different? He's flee seen you readers, that's why he want I mean, you've seen all the gofundmes, the.

00:01:51
Speaker 4: Vigil Send donations wherever you can. I have a mailing address, I've got Patreon. If you've got church groups driving trucks here to drop offs, I'll take whatever, in whatever form. I'm grateful for any donation, anything you can offer. Okay, So the flooding is in my office, my back office. Oh slash man cave.

00:02:16
Speaker 3: Well you're right, Well, yeah, we got we have new guy moves to talk about. The last episode was all about guy moves. I think Terry Hatcher came up.

00:02:23
Speaker 4: Terry Hatcher, there were several celebrities that I'm kind of kind of after trying to marry. But it is in the office. And this happened last year. Last year was like a maybe a six nervous breakdown. This year because it returned in the exact same way. This was probably a ten.

00:02:43
Speaker 3: You gotta stop putting your PlayStation five's there, Yeah, just lining the floor.

00:02:49
Speaker 4: Well, I'm running a business. I'm scalping them on eBay and no, but it was flooding and I bought a wetvack mid flooding, a nice wetback because I'm borrowing one from my dear friend Sarah tap Scott and hers, God bless her.

00:03:06
Speaker 3: Not a great wetvac.

00:03:07
Speaker 4: Small shut down about every four minutes, so when you're vacuuming up water, having to bail it out every four minutes is difficult. So I went and bought a one hundred dollars one at home Depot, and I told myself, I'm gonna keep the receipt if need be. If it gets serious enough, I will break out the big wetvac. It was very bad, and I refused to break it out to the point that Jim kind of overrode my authority and got the wet back.

00:03:35
Speaker 3: I'm assuming there's a photo of you like above the register at home Depot by now, like they know not to serve you.

00:03:42
Speaker 4: They do not allow this man to return a single other item. But no, I won't be returning it because thank god, Jim kind of got in the way of me my money saving nightmare.

00:03:57
Speaker 3: No, I'm the same way. Don't You always get like the deepest possible thing, It breaks or betrays you and you spend four times longer trying to eventually buy the normal price In your God.

00:04:09
Speaker 4: Damn it now I thought two of them.

00:04:11
Speaker 3: I can't get the small town kid out of me, like my dad's like the hole in his jeans, like a wrench falling out of it.

00:04:18
Speaker 4: It really, I mean, it's every element of my life, my car insurance. I recently had to send the car to the garage because of the hit and run. I mean, my life. I'm essentially Joe, but you commit what happened that somebody hit my car and ran uh and so it was in the shop. But of course my insurance wouldn't cover a rental car because I'm paying for the cheapest and every element of my life is bad and it's because of me. I have no one to blame.

00:04:41
Speaker 3: But myself, so it's not your fault. Like they also don't do this stuff in like other countries. You don't have to like yeah, oh, you'd be living like a king.

00:04:50
Speaker 4: I would have a rental every day, just a rental Habsburg.

00:04:54
Speaker 3: After Habsburg, just in the upper echelons of Portuguese society.

00:05:00
Speaker 4: Yeah, so you're back less than a year since our last recording.

00:05:04
Speaker 3: That's right.

00:05:05
Speaker 4: Feels desperate?

00:05:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I feel actually desperate on your end. I feel like there was. I got booked very quickly, which made me think there was a cancelation something, but very I'm on a talk show, What It's Like, and tonight's guest Jason Alexander ow this okay, I feel like uh like Seacrest dropped out. I'm circling the lot.

00:05:28
Speaker 4: I mean it is less than a year, and last time you were here, were kind of doing the the end of the heavy lifting of this movie, right, and despite my best efforts, they're now going to release the movie.

00:05:39
Speaker 3: You've been waging a campaign against ant maneing everything I can, but they are, I believe a week after this, two weeks after this episode releases, when is It's Bridger? This is stop one on the press tour. So I want you to I mean, you've seen the film. You've seen the film. The film, I'm buzzing about it online. Oh, early early reactions. I'm buzzing, buzzing, buzzing, hated it. Yeah, that's fair, that's fair. Didn't know what was going on, you've not seen any of the films before.

00:06:09
Speaker 4: Well, in my defense, I don't know what an ant is. So I struggled from moment one, No, this is I demanded this be your first stop.

00:06:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, Yeah.

00:06:20
Speaker 4: You're getting the premiere will be soon.

00:06:23
Speaker 3: Yes, it's in Ah, I think it might. I mean, you know, like probably a week or two before the movie comes out. Okay, I'm getting my red carpet.

00:06:31
Speaker 4: Look, you've got to get red carpet ready?

00:06:33
Speaker 3: What should I do?

00:06:34
Speaker 2: Like?

00:06:34
Speaker 4: What, that's a lot. I mean, there's a there's a great deal of responsibility with it.

00:06:38
Speaker 3: Every male celebrity seems to be wearing like a weird like coral reef suit nowadays, like this pink velvet or something like right, or like you got to wear those really tight. You're in a pool, like a GQ shoot in a pool, like your suit is just dripping off. I want to do that on the Red carpet.

00:06:57
Speaker 4: I couldn't picture you extremely wet on the red car.

00:07:00
Speaker 3: It's week soap consult. Yeah, mixed the Michelle Fifer dripping on Michelle Great. No, I think it is.

00:07:09
Speaker 4: The red carpet thing seems very difficult. You can either go to small or too too large very quickly.

00:07:16
Speaker 3: You know me, I'm minimalistic, I'm simple. Part of me just said, Jeff wear a suit. But then it's like, oh, who's the slob on the red car. But you're next to Paul Red, next to Jonathan Major's. These are stylish men.

00:07:27
Speaker 4: You've got to show them up. I need to show you, need all attention on you.

00:07:31
Speaker 3: I want to wear like those nineteen twenties movie starlet gloves, like long cigarette.

00:07:39
Speaker 4: This is a very glove focused podcast. I can definitely consult on gloves. But what are you leaning towards with cost Well, let's say costume.

00:07:47
Speaker 3: I think you should think of it as a dresses moda. I don't know. I don't even I don't even know in a suit right now, which is not even a point of pride. I like I had one at H and M that I bought when we used to work at Kimmel. I think I grew out of it, or I got fatter or something happened. So I don't have a suit. I need to get one's there's really no reason to have a suit just when you're creative like us, not when you're in the industry. You just show up and whatever. I do feel this bad feeling like, oh, my father is going to die and I have to rush home and I don't have a suit for my father's.

00:08:21
Speaker 4: That is for me, like, the next time I buy a suit will probably either be for some event or a funeral, which is not great.

00:08:27
Speaker 3: It's a funeral aisle at Target.

00:08:29
Speaker 4: I mean, it's it's about eleven am on a Sunday right now. We should be at church. If we were at church, we probably would own suits.

00:08:37
Speaker 3: Hey, but that's why we have this podcast to talk about our atheist theories and some videos I've seen on the internet about Christ Hitchens doing some debates. Let's say it does not go the priest's way.

00:08:47
Speaker 4: Growing up your church. Would you dress up to go to church?

00:08:51
Speaker 3: No? No, it was like it was like Noracal rural kind of like I don't know, like Dutch Brothers coffee shop environment. I don't know, Like, yeah, what.

00:09:00
Speaker 4: Does that mean.

00:09:01
Speaker 3: I don't know what that means. You don't have a Dutch Brothers where you They were.

00:09:04
Speaker 4: Just arriving in Utah, like they showed up so quickly.

00:09:09
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd be curious if the norcow accent transfers over like catch how many hellas? Or like, oh I forgot I said this on the podcast. It's like a phrase that's burned into my head from like Dutch Brothers is just like a drive through coffee shop for everything is just syrup and like, but like it is a cool place if you're in like a youth group to go to. And like a guy said, you pulled up and he said, sup, Bra, what's your sipping?

00:09:34
Speaker 4: Real?

00:09:34
Speaker 3: This wasn't ironic, It was like pure two thousand and five.

00:09:38
Speaker 4: That feels like you have to put so much work into even saying that a lot, Bra.

00:09:42
Speaker 3: What's your sipping? It doesn't even it's a coffee shop. It's like a surf shack butt, so.

00:09:49
Speaker 4: Just kind of casual.

00:09:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wore like jeans or khakis or like a collared shirt, but nothing too fancy.

00:09:55
Speaker 4: Okay, let a dress up or tie dress shirt, dress pants.

00:09:59
Speaker 3: But they I was preaching, I would dress up. Did youth led worship? No, what does that mean? Well, the youth take charge, the kids take over, kids cooked dinner. Yeah, I mean you get like forced into doing or like you want to do little like sermons about you know, sermon on the Mount or something. But the most egregious one I look back on, I went to preach I was in like eighth grade. I went to preach it the homeless shelter. Oh wow, And I think back to like, who is this asshole? I mean, not a horrible tease. Yeah, this eighth grade telling to turn their lives around. You don't get free soup tonight.

00:10:38
Speaker 4: It's awful, little monster. Oh boy, I'm just remembering now that we went and saw the Left Behind movie with Nicholas Cage.

00:10:47
Speaker 3: Do you remember I can't remember it.

00:10:48
Speaker 4: Well, it's because the movie was so unbelievably dull.

00:10:51
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would add was so that was based on the Left Behind books. Yeah, and he played the pilot.

00:10:56
Speaker 4: Guy or I think so. And uh, you know, we thought it was going to be a good time and I remember being extremely boring.

00:11:02
Speaker 3: Yeah. I can't even remember who was the anti Christ, which that's mistake. Oh and it wasn't Nick Cage. No, I think he was like the heroes it treat Williams. Probably he's probably in there. But like you need, there aren't enough good post apocalyptic thrillers in the religious sense these days, Like I need more Christian VHS nineteen ninety three political thrillers. Yeah.

00:11:21
Speaker 4: I love when there's an anti christ figure, kind of an evil slick man.

00:11:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, high status, like tell me this, yeah, exactly tell me this Christian, Like when they address you as Christian.

00:11:32
Speaker 4: You know, it's like, oh no, he's kind of palming a pocket watch.

00:11:36
Speaker 3: And there's always like the nineties technology of what the mark of the Beast is. It's like soon with this barcode everyone but like what he's happy, like he's got the mets and if everyone has this website, we'll have the Beast. Have you watched the show alone?

00:11:52
Speaker 4: No?

00:11:52
Speaker 3: What is that? Okay?

00:11:54
Speaker 4: So about I think about six people have recommended it to me at this point, and that's kind of the threshold for me. I need that many. I ignore the first five people. Usually it's recommended.

00:12:04
Speaker 3: This game hit Man on ps five you'll really love it.

00:12:07
Speaker 4: But by the sixth person, if I have nothing else to do, I will finally cave and consume whatever thing they've recommended.

00:12:15
Speaker 3: So we started watching alone.

00:12:16
Speaker 4: It's this thing I don't know what Europe began some mid tens, early tens, I don't know teens. They drop ten so far, just men in the wilderness. They're all alone and they have to survive as long as they possibly can. They're survivalists. They're bush.

00:12:35
Speaker 3: Something's like the family or they're like Australia the bush like in Australia.

00:12:39
Speaker 4: No, there's a term. It's like bushman nourishmen. Yeah, and they're just trying to make their way through life in the Vancouver Wilderness okay.

00:12:53
Speaker 3: Where they shoot the flash stuff every CW, pretty tame environment.

00:12:59
Speaker 4: They're just trying to avoid CW stars. They're background actors.

00:13:05
Speaker 3: Shit, it's Batwoman. They have the crew here, they have a fermit. They make up a large part of the Riverdale cast. No, it's uh.

00:13:13
Speaker 4: They're trying to survive and it's fascinating to watch. One guy was out one day in. Now they're like, we have two people left thirty days in. One of them is consuming mice. This man is regularly eating mice. I have to look away from the screen.

00:13:29
Speaker 3: Cook them?

00:13:30
Speaker 4: Is it?

00:13:30
Speaker 2: Like?

00:13:30
Speaker 3: Is he just eating them raw like a vamp? Like in the Vampire movie they always like get an animal fast when they can't eat a human.

00:13:36
Speaker 4: Yet he's cooking them. But he's Oh, I don't even want to talk about it's so disgusting. I have to look away from the screen. He has traps set up all over his camp. He checks them every morning. All I've seen so far is a tail sticking out from the trap, and I turn away from the screen. Oh boy, at that point, nothing is where I die.

00:13:57
Speaker 3: Go home die. Yeah, Oh you're near Vancouver. Take a bus.

00:14:01
Speaker 4: They have a phone to say, I'm done with the show.

00:14:04
Speaker 3: So just get out like you're not proving anything, Like people on television are watching you eat a rat, like you're not No one's rooting for you at this point.

00:14:12
Speaker 4: I wasn't rooting for this guy from day one. He was so obnoxious. So now that he's eating mice, I'm just I mean, I actually I'm kind of happy that he's kind of really hit a rock bottom. But he's surrounded by water. Go get some fish. There are so many other options.

00:14:26
Speaker 3: A back seat survivalists here water. Yeah.

00:14:31
Speaker 4: Well, I've read Hatchet, of course, I've seen a lot of Survivor.

00:14:34
Speaker 3: I'm sure I feel Hatchet comes up every time we speak that I feel we've spoken about that book we were like mandated to read. Did we talk about it on this podcast? Probably screaming yeah, yeah yeah, or squealing with delight, hooting an holler yeah, a scream or a squeal when it comes to this show, Uh yeah, Hatchet.

00:14:54
Speaker 4: I think is if you were born pre probably two thousand, you have read hatchet. Yeah, and experienced that thrilling story. I've read the sequel, The River.

00:15:07
Speaker 3: He dies in this way he does immediately he doesn't have the hatchet, and he drinks weird water it's still pond, and just shits himself to death. You just follow his family's grief for two hundred pages. He really tested fate, like we'll give it to you. That first adventure really cool, man, Like you pulled it together. You shouldn't have taken that second wobbly play out of the Elasti Wilderness.

00:15:32
Speaker 4: I believe this one. He goes with an adult who immediately has a heart attack and dies, and then he's trying to get down the river or something. Right, right, You know you're someone who does a lot of traveling, a lot of hiking, that sort of thing.

00:15:46
Speaker 3: But I don't feel like you're a camper. Yeah, Like, I mean, I'll do it a little bit, but I think I enjoy more of like the Yeah, well no, I guess I do both. Yeah, you go trek in, you have a little tent, you stay there. But I guess I do like the I guess they call them like tea houses in Nepal, or like the Alps there's like little lodges you stay at, not like fancy places, but like little like wooden buildings and like there's a fireplace inside and all like the little backpackers can talk and stuff. That is kind of fun that you do feel. I mean it's all you know, they're all just tourists. We're all walking around, but you do have that feeling of like, oh, I'm traveling, like I'm in a little in like I'm in the Fellowship of the Ring little yeah, with all the tall people's loud Australians everywhere, and you get sad and like the internet doesn't work that. Yeah, camping, I feel it's like you're trying a little too hard. Oh trying it. I mean like unless you're going into the back country and like you're actually by yourself, like you're in a parking lot basically, like you're in a parking lot with trees like these national parks or state parks. You're just next to screaming families or like serial killers. Like I think camping is a little overrated.

00:16:59
Speaker 4: Oh well, that's probably true. I mean I started to crave camping about every three years, and then I do it and immediately I'm like what am I doing.

00:17:08
Speaker 3: Camping when it's like part of the journey is fun. It's like I'm going here and I'm camping necessary, But like some going out to camps like what are you even? What are you? You're eating beans? Like out by your car, it's not good.

00:17:19
Speaker 4: The last time I camped U we had casadillas.

00:17:24
Speaker 3: Did you oh, did you have a gustove or what did you? Well?

00:17:26
Speaker 4: I went with guests of the podcast, John Milstein, who's very good at He's.

00:17:30
Speaker 3: Great, he's actually camping. He's actually good at this scene.

00:17:33
Speaker 4: Yeah, so he he kind of led the way and he had all of the casadia ingredients. I chopped up some peppers. Uh and uh so there were no actually I think there were beans involved there.

00:17:44
Speaker 3: You always have to have a bean. He's like I I admire in and like fear him. He seems actually good at like outdoorsy stuff and like buckles and put he thrives in it. Yeah. I can't do like the technical so I'm a coward and I'm weak. So like I can't actually a things together and the straps on the back of the backpack, i' have noidy what that's for. They will kill me one day. Do you have any practical skills?

00:18:09
Speaker 2: Right?

00:18:10
Speaker 3: And man in the wast quantomania problem, that's the biggest practical skill. Uh No, I can't think of any Like, what's an example.

00:18:17
Speaker 4: Are you able to, like Saale, you have a little project around the house you need to take care of a little Let's say you have a friend who's got a leak right right right, and they need that to be repaired.

00:18:29
Speaker 3: I mean, I can like wrench a few things, but no, I'm I'm my dad is really good at that stuff. I am not. I just feel weak and terrible. It's not even funny anymore. Like it's it's not even it's not the twenty tens anymore. This isn't new girl, Like you can't be this kind of fun guy anymore. It's like, no, I'm just weak and I have no skills.

00:18:49
Speaker 4: That's how I feel. There was a period where I could kind of skate by having but now like, oh, it would be wonderful to be able to do anything.

00:18:56
Speaker 3: Actually, Like I just started like just attempting piano and even just these the baby hitting the keys. I'm like, wow, I'm actually learning like a life skill here. But that made me so sad. Where I'm like, I'm thirty three, I can play maybe maybe like a seven year old. And I felt accomplishment. I think that's bar. The bar is so low.

00:19:22
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm patronizing you. It's it's embarrassing.

00:19:25
Speaker 3: So I have I have worked it.

00:19:27
Speaker 4: No, I think how far into piano are you at this point? Are you playing both hands.

00:19:32
Speaker 3: A little bit? Mainly? I'm just mainly focused on the right hand right now, trying to get the yes of course, trying to get the scales, trying to get all the keys right, trying to get like the you know what black keys go with? What key little system you do like one two three one two three four right? Kind of learning the code, you know, I'm kind of learning like the game of it.

00:19:51
Speaker 4: And you're learning to on the left hand. Are you're learning any chord formations?

00:19:55
Speaker 2: Not?

00:19:55
Speaker 3: I'm oh boy, look, I'm I'm two weeks into this bridger. I'm learning two weeks. I'm Lene and you're so vain by Carly Simon. I'm accidentally learning the Lord of the Rings theme on piano, and I'm an ear guy. I like to I like, so you're not you're not doing much site reading? No, oh god, no, not yet. I'm working on that. I can do a little bit. I have the acronyms. But okay, do you ever just like noodle around? Do you like make little uh, make little themes?

00:20:22
Speaker 4: Make little occasionally? I will when Gym's out of the house more off right. And now he's probably gonna secretly record well he already is for other purposes, divorce this sort of thing. No, I will tool around and I have a good time. I despite not I mean ending lessons in eighth grade. I can still form chords. I know what keys go together. I also remember something about every good boy deserves fudge.

00:20:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, fine, fine deserves fudge. That's a very Mormon twist on it that missus Ziegler taught us Every good boy deserves fun.

00:21:00
Speaker 4: And what does that even mean? That's eg, every good b d f Yeah yeah, that's like a major scale or something.

00:21:08
Speaker 3: That's just like the treble cleft right hand progression going on. Okay, but I'm not quite sure what the term is. But like till the sweat and says that to you before you get cooked in an oven.

00:21:17
Speaker 4: Or something, Every good boy deserves sponge. It's a good rule of thumb.

00:21:22
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, And it's fun. I did realize like writing these kind of movies, like superhero movie scores are pretty like elemental and simple in a fun way. It's like you kind of know how a Batman score goes. You're Superman, and so it's fun just to write really dog shit versions of superhero themes to you that you'll never show anyone. But it's like, hmm, that's my little Cane the Conqueror theme just for me. It gets you and I found it. It gets me into the mode where I'm now writing a movie with like fifty characters. I'm like, oh, it's my little uh I feel like theme here, like I noodle it out. I'm like, that's just for us.

00:22:00
Speaker 4: I think Marvel should like there was the Snyder cut, there should be the Loveness score of ant Man, or you should score the entire film on the piano.

00:22:08
Speaker 3: Half of is me just messing up and going fuck trying over again, like get the c Sharp run.

00:22:17
Speaker 4: I think the fans have got to start a campaign for that.

00:22:19
Speaker 3: You really should write Avengers like with me, I want you to take the wheel, Like what carte blanche two billion dollar franchise? What do you want your Avengers movie to be about. How's it opened?

00:22:30
Speaker 4: Well, I famously have said that I want a superhero movie, whether it's The Avengers or Spider Man or the X Men. It's just like a day they go to the mall. Yeah, just like we see what each hero does, what store they dive into? Uh, suggesting outfit ideas? Maybe you know, fight in the food court.

00:22:50
Speaker 3: What is Beast up to? What does Kelsey grammar Beast?

00:22:54
Speaker 4: Well, he would be furious that b Dalton has shut down.

00:22:56
Speaker 3: Of course he's the smart one. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I know my case this is I'm pitching myself to write the Avengers. I know, superheroes. That would probably be for me such a pleasant movie to watch. Just watch these characters interact with each other.

00:23:12
Speaker 4: No thrills, no fear, no thrill, just simple simple plan of going to the mall and being friends.

00:23:20
Speaker 3: Yeah. Is that asking too much? Not an? I mean it, it's terrifying, Bridget I don't know. I'm in the stage now where like i don't know what to do. Like I'm sitting there and I'm like, we've made about fifty of these like what if. Yeah, I guess the world could be in trouble. That could be I mean, what characters are still a lot?

00:23:45
Speaker 4: Well, you you probably can't even reveal.

00:23:47
Speaker 3: I'll reveal everything, any truly, any spoiler you want right now. I want to get eyeballs on this podcast.

00:23:52
Speaker 4: Man, you want Eiger launching you into space?

00:23:56
Speaker 3: Yep? Oh please? Yeah?

00:23:58
Speaker 4: I mean I assume Spider Man is still alive.

00:24:01
Speaker 3: He's around. Yeah, yeah, I think he's you know, he he went through a big deal in his movie. He's still around. I think everyone's on the table. I mean, like Iron Man died, he's gone. I assume he costs fifty million dollars to get so he's gone. Captain America is like a hundred or something. He was, he was a little old guy. I guess he's off the table. Okay, I think everyone else is more or less around. No. No, Scarlett Johanson is she's bowed out and.

00:24:26
Speaker 4: She's bout out. Did she die or she.

00:24:28
Speaker 3: She got thrown off? She threw her she jumped off a cliff.

00:24:31
Speaker 4: I jumped off a cliffs, so we don't know where she could still be mid air?

00:24:34
Speaker 3: Oh well, I think she hit pretty hard. I think she's gone. Okay, the Purple Thanos Purple, I know what his name is I'm acting. I'm acting. Here we go cool guy, Yeah, cool guy, Jeff No, I think it's open. You know, it's all open, and uh there's a lot of different versions of the Jonathan Major's guy, so you got to figure out where to go with him. But uh so, honestly jump in.

00:24:56
Speaker 4: Because Chance Captain America like fixes a sprinkler system or we see.

00:25:02
Speaker 3: Spider Man thrifting. Honestly, yeah, I would love that for Spider Man. That's kind of his thing, like he's gotten too high tech with these new ones. Yeah, I write him down.

00:25:11
Speaker 4: He goes to uh Goodwill and it's just looking for something fun.

00:25:17
Speaker 3: I would love to get you in one of these like we had, Like it's it's doable, Like I want to get you as like a guy who's like really annoyed Spider Man in line.

00:25:25
Speaker 4: I absolutely want to be just obliterated by a super villain.

00:25:29
Speaker 3: Oh that did I tell you? Like I guess I can say this like I was in ant Man getting killed by Moda and I got cut from the movie because it was like it just didn't fit in the flow what we had.

00:25:42
Speaker 4: Can you say, like what sort of character you were?

00:25:44
Speaker 3: I was like, I think I can much to say, Like I'll be vague, I guess like Modoc is a big, big head, he's a floating guy. He's kind of a he's an old villain, but he's very dumb and very goofy looking, And so I wrote him as like this sort of Kevin Klein in a fish called Wanda, or like remember that Simpsons episode Homer's Enemy with Frank Grimes, just like this guy who cannot win and is trying his best, but just like, dude, you're a big floating head, it's not gonna work out for you. So basically I play like a stormtrooper, like a little henchman who like clearly hates working for this guy. And like it's just one of those scenes. Was it like take her away, like that's what I'm doing, Like I don't work for you. Like I was taking her down the hallway like just like talking back and then he blows me up with his uh horn. My god, the dream, it was a it was a it was the best day I had hunt set. I died like twenty times, screamed, I squealed, and eventually, you know, filmmaking is sacrifice. Didn't didn't work?

00:26:44
Speaker 4: Did they have wires attached to you get pulled up into the air and it was.

00:26:47
Speaker 3: Very low fi. I did ah, and then I walked away to the side and hunkered down in a corner. You can see me in the corner. And Modoc is a big like plastic mold, like a gray He mouled that a guy was hired. His name is Mark. He was like the Modot operator. He would just carry this gigantic head around that was probably forty pounds.

00:27:11
Speaker 4: He's kind of the guy who played Darth Vader. Basically, yes, who played Darth the Prowse David prows or something. I think his name is big British guy. And does he ever act in anything else?

00:27:21
Speaker 3: He tried? Did you ever see the footage of Vader before James Earl Jones? No, it's just a big British guy does not work. Even Vader's like acting in those movies, like his hand acting. He's always like you could tell it's not a great actor doing a little He's always like pointing at people and like clunkily moving around.

00:27:41
Speaker 4: Oh boy, well, I mean speaking of villains and not following the rules, this.

00:27:47
Speaker 3: Sort of thing.

00:27:48
Speaker 4: You were on this podcast, Like I said, I was maybe ten months ago. You're a close friend. You're aware of what happens on this podcast. Last year, you brought a gift, you brought some Caprice son, you brought Da Vinci code on CD.

00:28:06
Speaker 3: Did you finds? How was it?

00:28:08
Speaker 4: It was excellent? It was excellent.

00:28:10
Speaker 3: How was the performance?

00:28:11
Speaker 2: Like?

00:28:12
Speaker 3: Did he do lots of voices? Did he jump around?

00:28:14
Speaker 4: I would say, too many voices? It became confusing, But the message was always clear. Something's going on with the Catholic Church. It goes all the way to the top. Something's not right here. But you know I I worked through whatever that was with you. Right, I thought we were on good terms. I invited you back to the podcast, thinking maybe maybe this is the time. Right, he's repented, he's he's corrected his behavior.

00:28:42
Speaker 3: Look, Bridgert, let's be honest. I felt like shit. We didn't speak for a year. There was after the taping. You were furious. You yoed at me, Yoda analyst. I've never seen rage come out that way. You were crying, I mean like you just lost control.

00:28:57
Speaker 4: Well it was a it was a moment for me.

00:29:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, and I and I kind of internalized that. I did a lot of work, you know, I kind of fucking blamed myself for a lot of it. I didn't know work. Yeah, and uh, honestly, I felt horrible and I thought, well, I really ruined Bridger's show. I really heard him. Then I thought, how do you make up for hurting someone? What do you do? Right? You get him a gift? Oh? Interesting? But on the drive over here, I realized, Jeff, you've done it again. You got this guy a gift. And so this is me falling on my ass basically because this is this is a piece offering of anything. But now I can see just the veins coming back in your head.

00:29:40
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I mean the podcast is clearly called. I said no gifts. We had the the you know, the blow up last year, there was the no talking this settlement, several settlements h and I continue to threaten more suits. My team of lawyers is always, you know, brainstorming, cooking up new ideas.

00:29:57
Speaker 3: You have story credit on Quantumania. Now basically you come up right alongside my name's I don't think it hurts, It does hurt. It was a lot of work on them.

00:30:08
Speaker 4: I also got wardrobe by but you know, the pain doesn't end. And now the wound has been ripped open. You're gonna tank the ratings again of the podcast, I mean, may be canceled after this episode. You can you know, it's a death by a thousand cuts. You have this gift here for me. You showed up just you're you were drenched in sweating, breathing, so heavily obviously panicked. But should I open this gift here on the podcast?

00:30:39
Speaker 3: I think we owe it to the listener. Yeah, I think, you know, to ourselves.

00:30:42
Speaker 4: Yeah, just to be you know, honest and true to what's happening here.

00:30:47
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so.

00:31:04
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, it's in a brown box. You're always bringing me a gift in a shoe box. How many shoes do you own?

00:31:09
Speaker 3: Not enough? I wear maybe two. And I'll sometimes think, like, you know, Jeff, shake it up, get like I get this and I never wear it, and I've I don't think it's bad, it's I gave it away.

00:31:22
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, it's in a shoebox. I'm going to open it here. It's a brown shoebox. This time we're opening and I'm finding a what has clearly been opened a box of beor charcoal deep cleansing porestrips Is this a comment on my pores?

00:31:41
Speaker 3: Is this what's happening here? Well, first of all, let me some value size. Also, you're lucky there was anything in the goddamn box. Do you know what I thought of coming here, doing a little bit on your show, embarrassing you, handing you over the box and having you open it to show nothing. I had it all planned out, Bridger, I had it all planned out, ratings through the fucking roof, and then I thought, you know, I had to look at myself. He's a friend. Don't tank him like that, don't go for the jugular. What's something he could use? So this is a gift, it's also a cry for help. Look at your nose.

00:32:17
Speaker 4: Look at the blackheads they are coming out.

00:32:19
Speaker 3: They're just unleashed. Was it on my bathroom sync? On the way I was driving here? Perhaps? Did I need one or two myself?

00:32:28
Speaker 4: You ripped one off in the rear view mirror. You knew there was gonna be a photo for the podcast. You had to get rid of your pores.

00:32:35
Speaker 3: Red carpet ready? You want to have poors next to Michelle Phifer on the red carpet? My man?

00:32:40
Speaker 4: No, I mean speaking of a red carpet. I haven't gotten at the invitation. You're keeping me from Michelle. You're keeping me let's just say it. Mario Lopez is gonna be there. What Why are you trying to stop me from meeting Mario?

00:32:55
Speaker 3: Man, that's actually a good quest. Man. I would love to meet Mario Lopez.

00:32:58
Speaker 4: I saw Mario Lopez several times at the Grove because he used to broadcast live.

00:33:02
Speaker 3: From right Why why don't they? I mean, they should be there. He's not allowed to leave the ground, you man, wouldn't that be the Do we ever talk about this? Like the perfect writing job would be like writing prompter copy for entertainment tonight in like two thousand and four.

00:33:18
Speaker 4: Nothing we've spoken about this. I can't to put to put words in Mary Heart's mouth. Yeah yeah, I mean, I mean she was gone in two thousand.

00:33:25
Speaker 3: Was Superman and now the horse that killed Christopher Reeve. It's at it again, just to do like all the set visits and like all.

00:33:37
Speaker 4: Oh, it's a I grew up on entertainment tonight.

00:33:42
Speaker 3: They actually this is not even like I legitimately like they did a little like et behind the scenes for Quantu mat like for a man you're kidding. And I was like it did get me like a rush of like, oh my god, like I made a movie like it's got the little et logo and they just show the trailer. They're basically but it's like with someone talking over. It'd have to send that to me. An it really was like that, and like back at like back home, like movies ten it's like this might be on like the cups of soda, like they might have Oh my god, like a movie on a cup of soda, Like I that is, I've reached the peak.

00:34:21
Speaker 4: Do you know what I noticed in one of those pre movie things recently, you know where they show customers or whatever. Of course, someone was drinking out of a sprite cup. I've never seen that in the wild. It was a green No, it was a green cup branded sprite.

00:34:35
Speaker 3: They're trying to make it. Yeah yeah, no, no, no, no, no no no. It was just like the movie add before when like, yeah, couples are eating popcorn and the guy like throws his soda in the air.

00:34:43
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I couldn't. I was distracted through the entire movie thinking about that sprite cup.

00:34:48
Speaker 3: It is weird. I don't know. I would love to see one in the wild. I do like a movie theater sprite. There is like a nice cleansing value to it. Yeah, I have never seen it. They have not earned the right. That's a coke.

00:35:00
Speaker 4: No, that's it's always a coke, Always a coke.

00:35:03
Speaker 3: Okay.

00:35:04
Speaker 4: So I've got these charcoal deep cleansing poor strips.

00:35:07
Speaker 3: I haven't used one.

00:35:07
Speaker 4: I love these, Actually, I haven't used them in over a decade. You know, my skin is flawless. I'm kind of famous. I'm glowing. People are trying to find out how I do it, but I'm always It's almost like a little craft you get to do it.

00:35:21
Speaker 3: Is I like, now that I'm getting older, like I like a strip. I like a thing you can put on yourself and rip away. It does feel like the right amount of sadism and like disgusting, little kid like you just slowly take it off and then you break the strip. You can't even get them no strip off.

00:35:41
Speaker 4: It becomes kind of a plaster.

00:35:43
Speaker 2: Yeh.

00:35:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you've you've been molded.

00:35:48
Speaker 4: I mean this one, these ones I'm a little worried about because you know, the usual ones are kind of a band aid beige and when you pull it off you see the black heads, which I think is a little reward.

00:35:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, it's like, oh, you're so disgusted this dark light or something. It's like all black, but you can still see the poor. You can say, I would even say they're like stars and the night or oh it's interesting black strip and these little wet white specs.

00:36:11
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I guess it's not we should be, you know, because this is a science based podcast.

00:36:15
Speaker 3: It's not the poor.

00:36:16
Speaker 4: It's whatever the hell is going on inside the poor, the dirt, the grime, the build up of the human body.

00:36:22
Speaker 3: This is one of those atrocious science blog. I fucking love science. Those guys they make you want to cut funding for science, all those little BBC nerds doing little jokes.

00:36:36
Speaker 4: Yes, this is a science blog. And I guess it's a blackhead. I'm just getting to it. It's a blackhad. Is that what we call them?

00:36:42
Speaker 3: I think so?

00:36:43
Speaker 4: Uh, And I love to do it and I'm excited to try it for the first time, maybe as an adult. I think the last time was probably as a teen. We got like a deep cleanse coming up. Then I've got an extremely deep cleanse, and I wonder what the charcoal does do we believe in charcoal?

00:36:58
Speaker 3: I don't I think. I mean, I remember charcoal being bad and you like bite into it. I don't like I think bit into it. I don't know. They have like a a barbecue or you would like have it, or you would smell it like And now suddenly charcoal is like a luxury item.

00:37:14
Speaker 4: No longer a briquette.

00:37:15
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I feel leave charcoal in the past, but it didn't stop me.

00:37:19
Speaker 4: But they've got it in toothpaste. Now they've got it for face.

00:37:23
Speaker 3: Are we sure that's healthy? Right?

00:37:25
Speaker 4: It feels to me like something that should be left in a mine or something.

00:37:29
Speaker 3: Isn't it? Yes? What it? Actually? What is it? Compressed? Ash? You're the science blogger. Well, let's just for this little uh a little British doctor who quips for the science blog. I'm here to learn about fusion.

00:37:46
Speaker 4: I've been listening to another podcast called Rumble Strip.

00:37:49
Speaker 3: Have you heard of this?

00:37:49
Speaker 2: Oh?

00:37:49
Speaker 3: What is that?

00:37:50
Speaker 4: It's this woman in Vermont just as interviewing people around town.

00:37:54
Speaker 3: That's it. Oh that's fun, fantastic, like old like public access radio kind of stuff.

00:37:59
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's just talking to you know, an old farmer or whatever, and kind of about whatever. They're twenty thirty minutes long. It's so terrific. I can't recommend it enough.

00:38:09
Speaker 3: There was this old show called like Strangers or something on NPR. Again I'm not going very far off the bush like NPR, but like it was a similar thing where like she would just ask you to send something in tell the story of your life, oh like fifteen minutes. And I was like, this is great. It's like it's open access, you know, send in stuff. But like every once in a while you'd get just a great little story. Wow, and then she'd talk to them at the end of it and like, yeah, just you know, everyone has a story, man, everybody's got to say. It is kind of the theme of Man in the Wass quantal Mania. Everyone has a story.

00:38:43
Speaker 4: It's a very very slow movie. People are walking out. Let's just say, people, you've got to have a lot of patience for this movie. No, that's not I mean, I haven't. Let's I mean, I've been saying over and over that I've seen the movie. I simply haven't.

00:38:59
Speaker 3: It's a thrill, right, it's a real ride. I actually am without like I'm getting kind of excited now, Like I you know, you know, if you like superhero movies or whatnot, and it's up to you if you like those or not. But I don't know, man, I think it's kind of fun. I think delight and like as as a comedy writer or whatever, like I got so tired of like there just weren't a lot of big comedy movies out or like or they're all too quippy, or like TV comedies. Obviously they're great, but like a lot of them just feel like writers writing to other writers, you know, like writers writing for Twitter. And I wanted I just had the thought of, like I'm writing like a big movie that like people don't really know what it's gonna be, and like can I write secretly like dumb and Dumber or like that style of joke where it's like it's not trying to be ironic or taking like a little quip or it's not trying to be a little like something that you want to screenshot as a meme, Like what just like a dumb, funny joke that like I would love if I was ten, or like I would still think was funny if I was old, but like like like Princess Bride or like dumb and Dummer or like Steve Martin movies, like they just have like gags and I kind of miss just gags.

00:40:10
Speaker 4: I love a gag and I'm like, we don't have gags on it.

00:40:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, and like you know, I think it turned out pretty well. Again, you never know, but like I'm kind of proud of like it's so it's got weird gags.

00:40:20
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm so excited hoofy characters. And you met Michelle Pfeiffer. I did, Yes, yes, lovely. It's actually great, Like she actually is quite funny. I think, like, oh, you're kidding, Like you have to get her rhythm because you know, you don't expect her to be this like comedic actress. But once you found that, to me, it's like she's like such a high status, Like you don't want to embarrass yourself in front of Michelle Pfiffer, but then you can use that. It's like, oh, if Michelle Pfeiffer cut you down, it would be the most devastating that you've.

00:40:48
Speaker 3: Ever heard razor tongue. Yeah, just like, oh, you're not a man, you're a little boy. Get out of here. Like she so like she does have a few like quick hits in the movie that always got laughs in the test screening, and I was like, oh, Michelle Fiber is pretty good.

00:41:02
Speaker 4: We've got to user and more comedy. Yeah, let's have a Fifer revival.

00:41:05
Speaker 3: I really there's no time, but like I really wanted to recut the trailer to be like a nineteen ninety three erotic thriller. I was like, you realize, like, wait, the movie does have Michael Douglas and Michelle Peifer in it, like, and they're married to each other in the movie. So I just wanted to add of context take like a wife's betrayal, like dann it, what are you doing? Like just that hoardy Michael Douglas, Like the movie was foggy, like everything was steamed in the movie, Like I love a ninety four VHS erotic thriller.

00:41:37
Speaker 4: That really was kind of the golden age of erotic thrillers.

00:41:40
Speaker 3: Just incredible. Ever, and like people went to see him, Oh yeah, they made two hundred million dollars, do they?

00:41:47
Speaker 4: I mean, what was the last erotic thriller that was? Couldn't tell you, Yeah, I couldn't couldn't tell even think of one.

00:41:52
Speaker 3: I'll tell you the next one. Those ant men are the wast quantu mania there there was so much sex with horny as hell that the area people. I mean, you can do anything theater. Let me just say I'm giving you permission go to the theater. No rules, enjoy yourself.

00:42:07
Speaker 4: Fits a dark room. Uh, facial care. Do you have any type of routine?

00:42:13
Speaker 3: No, I just kind of throw a lot of goop and see what happens. A lot of experiments I've been trying. I realized, like, Okay, I like, you know, I'm not I'm not old, but also not young. It's like I'm thirty three. It's like I got I should maybe like start doing things to take care of myself. Don't know what to do, And I got like a goop I try to put on the morning. What is the goop for moisturizing? Oh no, I'm moisturizing. I think, yeah, yeah, there's to soften the skin. And maybe there's a night goop that you put on as well.

00:42:43
Speaker 4: We're who's recommending you these goops?

00:42:45
Speaker 3: Oh? The algorithm on like the side of Instagram. It's like man cream or I'm sure it's just like the most disgusting jelly that put somewhere. Uh yeah, Like men are very insecure, and I think we don't like to admit it or something, so like every jail, every cream is like made for those camping guys, or the manification of like beauty products is so embarrassing. I honestly would love to felt taken care of and be tender.

00:43:13
Speaker 4: Right, and I'm happy to get a moisturizer out of a beige.

00:43:17
Speaker 3: Happy box or what have you. Be a man, embrace it, like, yeah, yeah, take care of your.

00:43:21
Speaker 4: Skin, yes, but I think we all should be doing a little more care with our faces. I don't know your your skin is flawless.

00:43:28
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. You're an eligible bachelor? Would you say that? Do we still have eligible bachelors? So I'm still a confirmed bachelor too. Like the guy who just sworn it all off and don't ask any more questions. He loves the show. He loves the show biz, I don't. Yeah, I got to get better at that. I think I've I'm slowly working through I think my internal stuff at like my you know, attachment, all that stuff. This is a relationships podcast, it is now. Yeah, I want to meet somebody, and I also so like I wanna I got I think I'm very uncomfortable being paired with someone. I always get very it's a weird I don't know what it is, but I feel so nervous being like attached to someone. Oh, okay, the partnership, ask, I don't know, I.

00:44:14
Speaker 4: Was about that. That's making you so flighty.

00:44:17
Speaker 3: I really don't know. And it's like an a rational thing, like I feel like I need to escape or that I'm trapped, or like I'm trying. I don't. I'm listening to a lot of those Esther Parrelle podcasts. She's pretty great. What is it? What's that one called? Oh where she would begin? Yeah? Yeah, I just I love I mean, if I was a better impressionist, I would love to do like an ester pair or I would love to play Esther Peril's like dog shit boyfriend on the episode who like comes in and it's just mean to her or like talks over She's like clearly in a bad relationship. She's a fraud, but I'm working on it. It's like I think that just means I'm uncomfortable with myself. It might and so it's like I need to you know, It's it's that cliche, like you need to be more comfortable with yourself and then someone else can be there. But hmm, if I'm not comfortable, Jeff, no one else is gonna be want to be around you.

00:45:07
Speaker 4: Well, let let me sell you to you. You know how to play the piano, you've got flawless skin, you're a world traveler, You've got a big Hollywood hit. I mean, the listener has got to What if listeners comfort Jeff?

00:45:21
Speaker 3: What if? I mean I thought about this, like, what if I killed the superhero mate? Would that be a blessing or a curse?

00:45:29
Speaker 2: Like?

00:45:29
Speaker 3: What if I killed Superhero movies? That would be incredible if those gags were real bad. Yeah, it's like the it's like a government fall.

00:45:43
Speaker 4: That.

00:45:44
Speaker 3: Like I was sitting there like on set one day, I'm like, I don't know how much of the budget even what you know, these movies are like two hundred million dollars And I was just thinking, like I wrote this like on my couch. They're in COVID, and I'm like, I don't think I should tell anyone that I like wrote this.

00:46:01
Speaker 4: Last It's weird when like a movie or TV show gets made. During the process, everyone's like there's so much money being poured into it and everyone's excited, but there's always a chance that it doesn't do well.

00:46:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, I and like that, but I I not to you know, I gotta get better at selling stuff too. There's always like, but I actually, this actually is kind of a fun moment because like you don't know, like it's it's about two weeks.

00:46:25
Speaker 5: Before you're dreading that moment and it's like this like thrill of like I think it's pretty good, but you never know, and it's like, oh, is this gonna be like an ishtar thing?

00:46:35
Speaker 3: There's this like have you just so wildly over? Like are you too deep? But I don't know. I think I'm willing to bet. Like I think Jonathan Major's like brings it in a way that is like he's just fun to watch. And then like I think it's goofy and fun. Paul Rudd is great, Like, yeah, we'll see, we'll see.

00:46:51
Speaker 4: Well, I feel like after your appearance on this podcast, I mean it's gonna get the bump clicks through. Yeah, that movie does nothing to worry about. After the release of this episode, Avatar watch out, Jeff, I have a look, I don't want to steer us away from this, but there's I want to do something, something a little unconventional, something that hasn't happened on this podcast. Before I'm going to stand up, I'll be right back on.

00:47:18
Speaker 3: Wow. Okay, he's moving. My god, Jeff, I have a gift for you, oh, Bridger.

00:47:28
Speaker 4: Yeah, I uh, there's a card here.

00:47:31
Speaker 3: Oh and this is for this is for on air. This is on air. I knew something was up.

00:47:38
Speaker 4: I felt there was an electricity in the air, you know, I mean, I thought I have to put up a defense this time. I have to protect myself. Okay, so this is this is actually a U and I said, no gifts card kind of tacky if maybe can be purchased online.

00:47:52
Speaker 3: So okay, so this is branded content.

00:47:56
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, these are the only cards I had in my house. But yeah, I wrote a card for.

00:48:02
Speaker 3: You, thinking of you and now hopefully you're thinking of me. Otherwise the money I spent on this card was wasted. Okay, excellent, excellent card, Jeff. Now I'm giving you a gift. I can do whatever I want. It's my podcast, yours, Bridger. This is like when an axe swings in and kills me.

00:48:20
Speaker 4: Yeah, I thought of why not get Jeff a gift?

00:48:24
Speaker 3: Would you like to open it here on the podcast. I would love to. Bridger, Oh, thank you so much. Uh, this is something we've talked about. It's called Seize the Moment, America's challenge in a one superpowered world. Bye best selling author Richard Nixon. And you know what, great picture of Nixon on the back. Excellent picture of our favorite author.

00:48:47
Speaker 4: I was at the Glendale Goodwill as I do, kind of browsing a few weeks ago, and I came across this book.

00:48:56
Speaker 3: Was shocked.

00:48:57
Speaker 4: I mean, I didn't realize that Richard Nixon was, uh a best selling author.

00:49:02
Speaker 3: And you open the book. In the first couple of pages, it says other books by I'm looking at right now. He's written eight other books and one is called No More Vietnam's which that's a pretty good idea. Nixon whose idea was.

00:49:17
Speaker 4: That, yeah, this book, Like I haven't read anything else other than that. But like, at a cursory glance, you would almost think that he had never been president, that he was just a best selling author like a John Grisham.

00:49:31
Speaker 3: Yes, that is to me the funniest era of like the now this just instant like ever present celebrity that everyone has to have, Like Bill Clinton is writing like political thrillers, that's right, and Hillary Clinton is doing it and like the hair Prince Harry has to do like a memoir that makes everyone like him less. Like you don't have Obama's hosting like a National Parks documentary. You simply don't have to do jobs away from gen k.

00:49:59
Speaker 1: Uh.

00:49:59
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:50:00
Speaker 4: The Clinton's co writing those books is anytime a book is written by two people, I'm like, that's a bad book.

00:50:06
Speaker 3: You should write a book, Bridger, I mean I said no.

00:50:08
Speaker 4: With Hillary Clinton, she and I get together and write a thriller.

00:50:11
Speaker 3: I can talk my friend. There was that viral clip going around about like Hillary's talking like a French mime or something. For a while, my friend was on that show. Her name is Natalie Paliminez. She's like a great improviser comedian. She'd have her on the show to live with her a long time ago. Yeah, yeah, roommate for a long time. She like lassoed into this thne of like you do clown work, right, Yeah, I guess a little bit. Okay, come be with Hillary Clinton and this French clown. She had no idea she had to sign all these nbash and I think like that's maybe the most random jobs. Like you get flown to Paris to do clown work with Hillary Clinton and guess what, she's not a natural.

00:50:53
Speaker 4: That's fascinating. So I feel like I just saw a bit of the clip. What happened, I don't know. I can't tell you.

00:50:59
Speaker 3: I think she was trying to make some connection between gutsy women, gutsy women, and the act of clowning something.

00:51:08
Speaker 4: Now there aren't there aren't a lot of women clowns or well, I don't know that anyone to ask for any of that.

00:51:14
Speaker 3: There's not a lot of clowns.

00:51:15
Speaker 4: In general, clowning is coming back in a big way. Clown a lot of clowning, that's true. People love to clown, the physical act of clowning. But yeah, I thought I would get you this book. You love you know, I love Nixon. You love Nixon. You're a Nixon apologist.

00:51:31
Speaker 3: To the end.

00:51:33
Speaker 4: Do you know what?

00:51:33
Speaker 3: You know? He did more to prevent World War Three than anyone? I would say, Well, look, opening up relations with MAOIs China, cooling things with the Brezhnev era of the Soviet Union. I mean, we take the seventies for granted. He you know, we were out the pressure cooker in sixty nine, and didn't he start the EPA probably yeah, no, no, And he wanted to do he wanted to do like a basic income thing that never came off.

00:51:57
Speaker 4: Okay, obviously Nixon has his down sat can't name one.

00:52:01
Speaker 3: No, no, But like looking he is this sort of like broken American figure that like no one likes him. He tried so hard and just made it worse and worse. A monstrous person obviously, just a terrible guy. But uh, it is funny looking back and like, oh wow, he actually like did something. Nixon had a vision that never got realized.

00:52:23
Speaker 4: It's weird to me to think that he like lived into the like the nineties. Like it's weird to think about Richard Nixon existing in the nineties because you only think about him in the seventies.

00:52:31
Speaker 3: Have you seen interviews with him in like the nineties.

00:52:33
Speaker 4: No, there he does one entertainment tonight.

00:52:37
Speaker 3: Half of this is a bit, but half of it is like there's some like Nixon wisdom at the very end of his life where he just talks about how empty like success is and how empty, oh like the retirement. He's like, you know, just the I can't do a Nixon impression be like, oh, you know, the palm beaches and the and the watering holes of the world are full of such empty, empty people. I'm like, there's this feeling. God d Nixon. He was like, He's like, the only time that matters is purpose, fight, the struggle. I'm like, oh, Nixon, Okay, come down Nixon. But there was a moment of grace. There was like this man truly has lived, lived the American century.

00:53:16
Speaker 4: Was this on a book press tour.

00:53:18
Speaker 3: I think it was like some nineties like Sunday Morning Show and he died like two days later. Okay. It was one of his last interviews where he just like said this harrowing thing about the American dream.

00:53:29
Speaker 4: Then the final words with Richard Nixon, well fascinating. Well, I just thought I would get you that.

00:53:35
Speaker 3: Lovely thank you. I love getting gifts.

00:53:37
Speaker 4: I went to the Goodwill, and I like, I had seen that a few weeks ago, and I thought, maybe they'll still have it. But I did see some other things. I'll tell you the other things I considered. First, there was a book called Home by Ellen DeGeneres, which she kind of guides you through how to decorate your home good. Yes, yeah, famous interior decorator. Then this was a kind of a sad thing to see. It was a thing welcome to our drive through baby shower, thank you for coming. So I think it was kind of a pandemic baby shower. It's kind of a They made a book like, they made sign, a beautiful cute sign. I don't I don't know why someone would buy that at this point. Let's see here there was a sign that said, sometimes a glass of wine with a friend is all the therapy you need. There was a photo of a couple on their fiftieth anniversary. We don't know what happened there.

00:54:26
Speaker 3: Ever seen again? And that was it.

00:54:29
Speaker 4: But I ultimately had to settle on.

00:54:31
Speaker 3: You would write with Mixon. Also, I just like that he's writing all these political books about like who's out there, like you know what, who's going to make in decisions? Richard Nixon? Him back in the chair.

00:54:42
Speaker 4: It's also fun to imagine him sitting down at a typewriter, just click clacking away.

00:54:47
Speaker 3: What if it's really good? It's a page turn sentences. He has a Steinbeck.

00:54:53
Speaker 4: I hope that this turns you politically. Yeah, we was.

00:54:57
Speaker 3: Married to Joan Didion for a couple of years. What Joan, I just want to say, I messed up and I miss you every day.

00:55:07
Speaker 4: Okay, well it's time to play a game. Of course, last time we played Gift Master. I think it's only fair that today we play Gift or a Curse. Oh right, yes, I need, of course a number between one and ten from you.

00:55:18
Speaker 3: Last time, I believe I did seven. Ooh, lucky number. This time, let's go, Let's go three. Okay.

00:55:23
Speaker 4: With the number three, I will begin calculating, and you, of course have the mic for a minute to recommend, promote, do whatever you want anyway.

00:55:29
Speaker 3: Yeah, hey, they're Marvel fans. I'm talking about at Maan in the Wasp Quantum Mania in theaters February seventeenth. That's about it. It's kind of put that on a few reaction VIDs if you want tweet that around am in of the Wasp February coming out.

00:55:48
Speaker 4: We've got to get to the theater otherwise Jeff's career will be over.

00:55:51
Speaker 3: The movies are back. That's the important thing.

00:55:54
Speaker 4: Okay, Gift to a Curse. I name three things. You tell me if they're a gift or a curse, and why and and of course there are correct answers. You can lose, you can win, you can be a middling sixty six percent. There are several things zero. You can be a total zero. Let's see what happens. Okay, First up, this is a listener suggestion from someone named Sarah Gift or a curse cooking videos where the chef takes bites of the finished dish and we're forced to watch them eat.

00:56:24
Speaker 3: This is tough because this kind of hits close to the BBC like quippy science person for me, like it's not about you. But then again, on the flip side bridge, you're like when you watch a travel on a food show, you need that shot of them being like, oh that's good, Like you need that's why you watch the show. You see like Bordain kind of open up a bit. I wanna say, curse though, if it's a video and it's a guy in their home, curse Jeff wrong. It's a gift.

00:56:52
Speaker 4: I have to see the person eat that. I can't have somebody guide me through a recipe and then not try it. What the these suspicion I'll have that recipe?

00:57:00
Speaker 3: Who do I trust? Yeah, it's going in the trash, right.

00:57:03
Speaker 4: I need to see the emotion there. I need to see I need to see them satisfied with the dish. Otherwise it feels like there's no ending to the story.

00:57:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right. I beefed it. I messed up. I talk myself out of it.

00:57:16
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, of course, nobody likes to see somebody else eat or hear someone joy themselves if you enjoy themselves in general. I mean, that's a true hell, but I think it's necessary. I would be very suspicious of a video where someone makes a dish and then kind of pushes it aside. What's happening there, it's unfortunately for everyone. It's a gift. So zero so far. Number two. This is from someone named Eden. Gift or a curse when someone ends an email or message with the phrase more to come.

00:57:54
Speaker 3: We're both in the industry, so this could mean good things. This could mean I mean, I love when the agents are pumped. There's more to come, more to come? Ah, oh, I mean Bridger. Now I doubt myself.

00:58:07
Speaker 4: I don't know I've got you exactly where I want.

00:58:12
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, okay, I'll stop dancing around. You need to make a choice. I'm gonna you know, I'm gonna say curse. It's a curse because email is a bad for you. If you didn't talk more, I don't want to know. I would rather than call me on the phone time. What's going on? Okay, there's more to come.

00:58:28
Speaker 4: Jeff, Right, Look, there are just other ways to say more to come. There are these phrases throughout email that just get copy and pasted. Jeff is so relieved right now, he's got a chance he might survive.

00:58:44
Speaker 3: More.

00:58:44
Speaker 4: Yeah, give you a call or tell me what's coming. Don't leave these I mean this is actually kind of related to the eating thing. I need these cleared, the climate cuts. Yeah, I need things to be told and finished. I can't have these dangling things happening in my life. I'm I'm uncertain about everything already. So this is a curse. The phrasing of it's so annoying.

00:59:06
Speaker 3: You didn't try your best? Oh no, you may, I'm like, really.

00:59:12
Speaker 4: Did an excellent job. This is a perfect suggestion, Eden, right, I mean, Eden, you've got a career, and.

00:59:17
Speaker 3: It shows weakness is what it shows. More to come, more to come.

00:59:20
Speaker 4: It shows that this person doesn't have they didn't bring the full dish and have what it takes. You have what it takes. They're falling apart. We can't trust them. Okay, so you've gotten one out of two so far. Here's one more. This is not a listener suggestion, which is rare gift or a curse? Deep discounts on the brands you trust.

00:59:42
Speaker 3: You know a lot of thoughts swirling around my head right now. I'm gonna go with the gut. Maybe it's wrong, Maybe you'll burn me. Maybe you know your your little fans will throw tomatoes at the screen. Quantumania. I'm gonna say it's a gift because every once in a while, when your brand throws you a bone, they don't let you down. They say, hey, we're here for you. These Hawaiian rolls got a little banged up backstage. We're going to put them here in the manager Ben at Ralphs like that to me is a gift. It's I will take that for thirty cents, Thank you very much. To me, it's a gift. Now you know, open the flood.

01:00:17
Speaker 4: Gates, Jeff, How could I sit here on my own podcast where I talk about NonStop how I'm trying to save money and ruining my own life and say that deep discounts on the brands I trust are a curse. It's a gift, of course, of course, a gift. Anytime I get a deep discount on a brand I trust is that day is a gift, and my life continues for at least until I get another deep discount to be a gift.

01:00:46
Speaker 3: Now, when it's a brand you don't trust, are you hesitant? Do you say, like, I can't trust this brand.

01:00:51
Speaker 4: That's a curse, because I like the trap is set right.

01:00:54
Speaker 3: However, when's the last time you opened your heart to a new brand and you're like, well, I'll give him a shot, And like the Bure charcoal deep cleansing por strips, you know, maybe there's something there that you didn't realize.

01:01:07
Speaker 4: Less and less, as I grow old, I trust less brands.

01:01:12
Speaker 3: You calcify, you harden your hearse.

01:01:14
Speaker 4: I've found the brands that I trust, and I live with them and I rely on them. So when a new brand pops up, I panic, all right, But if there's a I mean, if there is a deep discount there, it's an opportunity to experiment.

01:01:29
Speaker 3: Absolutely ironically enough, this is the theme of quantum Mania, about like you know what, when's the last time you just went and saw a fun movie? Man, when's the last time he took your little cousin to a movie? You see him squeal and holler ant man goes big and small. He learns to let go a few things too.

01:01:48
Speaker 4: Okay, you know, does he save big at a like a fire sale or anything?

01:01:53
Speaker 3: He gets free coffee when part of the movie he gets he gets like discounts at Basking Robbins. Okay, there and he gets it's free coffee. But the old guy thinks he's Spider Man. Yeah, thrown in his face and spoiled in the trailers, and Robbins is making a big comeback. I guess they didn't pay us anything we wanted to work with that it was not a branding. I went deep, like I just want to use Basking Robins. I love Basking Robins. Hey, they're here to stay. Man, that is a brandy dress speaking.

01:02:24
Speaker 4: Of Okay, two out of three I can't remember. Yeah, last time we played Gift Masters, so you just won by uh the nature of the game. Today, you lost but didn't lose terribly right, Yeah, Okay, we have to answer a listener question. This is called I said no emails people right into I said, no gifts at gmail dot com. My listeners, you know, we we say this every week. They've got problems, they their lives are out of come screaming to you, lawn voicemails forty five minute. My voicemail inbox is more than full of this. These are calls that should probably be rooted to nine one one, and they're looking to me. So we get these emails and we try to answer the questions the best we can.

01:03:11
Speaker 3: Will you help me? Of course?

01:03:13
Speaker 4: Okay, this says let's see this. We're gonna read this one. Dear Bridge, are an exceptional guest.

01:03:20
Speaker 3: That's you.

01:03:21
Speaker 4: All the plants in my home are fake. My husband and I know our limitations and abilities. Keeping nonverbal mystery greens alive does not fall within our shared skill set.

01:03:29
Speaker 3: Okay.

01:03:30
Speaker 4: My in laws, while very nice, do not always consider the recipient when giving a gift. Okay, so maybe not very nice. This past Christmas, we received a beautiful and unique cactus from my sister in law Sil. I'm seeing a lot of sil bil. This feels new to me.

01:03:46
Speaker 3: What is sil? Sister in law? Oh, I see it?

01:03:48
Speaker 4: This new acronym that feels new to me. Sister in law and her partner, who works with plants for a living and is passionate about them, so they got the cactus from them. Okay, While delighted to receive the cat I'm more concerned about the fact that I've been handed not just an obligation, but what also seems to be some sort of test. Not only must we keep this cactus healthy, but we have to master basic cactus care. If we fail to care for a plant that survives drought and blazing sun, we will deeply hurt the gift givers. I like the gift givers, which is special because I, like so few people on this earth. We're learning a lot about this person. The details we've gotta pull back. I did not oh, this person says, I did not ask for any of this. I feel you there. All of this sounds like simple anxiety. But sadly I followed plant partners instructions and the cactus is starting to turn brown. It's as if it knows that I'm the one caring for it. My sister in law and the plant partner are coming for a month visit in six months. Good Lord, I have already taken detailed photos and measured the height and width of the cactus. Should I need to buy a new one right before they get there? Any suggestions and how do I prevent this sort of thing in the future. I do not want any more chores. Thank you kind regards Sabrina. They them, Sabrina has I mean, speaking of chores, has just made me read a novel or at least a bare minimum a novella. Yeah, yeah, a thriller, I mean absolute patrio. What does Sabrina do in this situation?

01:05:20
Speaker 3: Don't I feel Sabrina? Just from the email, I feel maybe there's a lot of anxiety going on there. Maybe Sabrina needs to feel in control. I have this neighbor that grew up with called Cherry, lovely woman, decent, caring woman, always in trouble, but always a problem, always jumping around.

01:05:36
Speaker 4: Cherry was always in trouble, always.

01:05:38
Speaker 3: A half Oh no, no, it was just always like something was always going wrong. Oh, Cherry, you just got to calm down. And so I think cactuses. I don't know much about him, cartoonishly easy to take care of though, right like he just kind of water and it's in.

01:05:52
Speaker 4: The kind of a famous plant for needing nothing.

01:05:55
Speaker 3: Can't you just kind of like water it once a week, leave it alone, and then don't buy a placement. Don't do the sitcom thing of buying a new dog. Own up and say, you know, the cactus died and I'm sorry. She works with plants. She'll spot a fake a mile away.

01:06:08
Speaker 4: This is what I'm thinking about, Sabrina. And tell me if I'm wrong. Sabrina is a people pleaser, yeah, and is so worried about sil and partner's feelings. I think that Sabrina, they've got to just say, come on over and rub their face in the dead plant. Yes, you gave this to me. There's there's no reason to try to make them happen.

01:06:32
Speaker 3: See something you like. And because if.

01:06:34
Speaker 4: Let's say Sabrina gets a new replacement, a body double the sister in law and brother or whoever.

01:06:43
Speaker 3: And they'll spot it. They'll spot it.

01:06:44
Speaker 4: No, they're not going to spot it. What if they're tricked? Next year they're giving Sabrina another plant?

01:06:48
Speaker 3: Oh the cycle continues.

01:06:49
Speaker 4: Yeah, yes, I mean I'm guilty of a lot of these behaviors.

01:06:52
Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds like Sabrina just needs to get real.

01:06:55
Speaker 4: Sabrina's got to get real with the people in their life.

01:06:57
Speaker 3: She use that as like your catch phrase for your inn and the show, get real. I like it. It's Bridger get real.

01:07:06
Speaker 2: No.

01:07:07
Speaker 4: I think Sabrina's big thing here is let it die. Do your best, but definitely let it die. And then they're going to show up in six months, And I mean by then, the plan is going to be rotting. It's going to be probably covered in mold. Uh, and it'll be a real like in your face, yes, spider webs inside of it. Something's going on, some sort of creature has made the cactus is home uh, and the problem.

01:07:33
Speaker 3: Will be solved. I think so.

01:07:35
Speaker 4: I think we've solved Sabrina's problem in a big way. Sabrina, do not write back, Do not write in again.

01:07:41
Speaker 3: I do you have time for one more? Or I would do another? I would love Oh I love this.

01:07:46
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, this says oh, I love getting it through you know weed whacking, you know deer bridger and wise but disrespectful guest.

01:07:54
Speaker 3: Okay.

01:07:54
Speaker 4: My beloved mother is turning seventy five this year. Happy birthday, Mom. I'd love to do something meaningful for her. She is my best friend and has always been there. For me, The issue is that she doesn't need or want any more things. Money is no issue for her, but it is for me. So if I spend too much, I know she'll be unhappy. She doesn't like parties, so throwing a party is out of the question. We live many states apart, but I can travel to her. She's very active and enjoys kayaking, golf, yoga, going to the beach and walking. Is there any kind of experience we could do together that won't break the bank? She lives in New England. If that helps, thanks so much, Morgan. So Morgan is saying, first of all, she's best friends with a seventy five year old.

01:08:39
Speaker 3: Is also her mom an active woman. Yeah, the whole situation is pretty pathetic. It sounds like she doesn't have any cash.

01:08:47
Speaker 4: Yeah, Morgan's strapped for cash and the mom figure is kind of making her feel less than.

01:08:53
Speaker 3: So Mommy's got a lot of money and Morgan doesn't. And Mommy's got one foot out the door already. Basically, I'm thinking, take mommy's kayak habit, let's go whitewater kayaking. Mommy has an accident. Morgan, Now you've got some cash.

01:09:09
Speaker 4: Killing your best friend is never a bad idea, never a bad idea. I mean, I think that Morgan seventy five is kind of a milestone. It's one of these things. It's almost a miles.

01:09:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a big one. But if you die, it's okay. If but it's sad, but like you know, it's you've reached. You've reached like the safe point in the.

01:09:27
Speaker 4: Game seventy five. Yeah, you like for it to not be sad anymore. You've got to get into your nineties.

01:09:32
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh oh oh is that true?

01:09:34
Speaker 2: Now?

01:09:34
Speaker 3: I would think so. I fear the burden like when you're when you're like old old, and like I feel bad for like old women in horror movies. Now there's there's at least like five movies I've seen where there's just like a naked old woman and right, and the point of it is like disgusting. That's so unfair. I feel so bad. I just saw one like yesterday, what was it, x or Per that had like Jenna Ortega and like me a goth or something, but like the whole point of it was like this disgusting old You're making such a good point, Barbarian, Yes, the Witch, all that stuff there's always just like an old naked lady and like she did, she's she's an old actor, Like where are our disgusting grandpa? She's in the makeup chair for eight hours, like doing the mystique works.

01:10:25
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's so, I mean that is such a good point. Yeah, you I mean have just dismantled modern horror in a huge way that elevated horror. They should all be ashamed.

01:10:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, they should.

01:10:38
Speaker 4: That's truly shameful.

01:10:39
Speaker 3: Morgan.

01:10:39
Speaker 4: You've really opened a door here that you didn't expect to but kill your mother. Yes, it's time, Morgan. I mean I think for seventy five whitewater kayaking seems dangerous. Maybe you build up to that though, though you do, you know, like a nice day of golf and yoga, then like we're doing our treat day and then we're gonna go kayaking.

01:11:01
Speaker 3: But here's the thing. Golf is like a social activity that's gonna give her mom a lot of chances to make little quips.

01:11:07
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and you know, Caddy, let's just be honest.

01:11:11
Speaker 3: Little remarks finances. Maybe the people she'd like, that's uh, I think you're opening She hadn't told us anything about her mom.

01:11:19
Speaker 4: But I will say to counter that, Morgan, she's on the golf course. Mom's being so mean to her. She's she's building up the feeling of wanting, because when she kills her, she'll have she won't question it for a moment.

01:11:31
Speaker 3: Yes, a rage.

01:11:32
Speaker 4: Yeah, she'll be boiling at that point.

01:11:35
Speaker 3: That's so true. Like if you're taking someone out onto the river to kill, you've got hours of guilt. You've got hours of like, am I actually gonna do it or not? Like oh you know, you you shake. But if you let her just prick and prick and prick and prick, then you can just it's a crime of pass right.

01:11:51
Speaker 4: No matter how much fun you have in that kayak, you'll be mad. You will be mad at her, and you won't be able to forgive her. And then she drowns or gets dashed against a rock or something, and then all of your problems are completely solved more. I'm so glad, Morgan wrote in New England is kind of a vague description.

01:12:10
Speaker 3: We don't quite know where she's living.

01:12:12
Speaker 4: It's Maine, it's Massachusetts, it's what else qualifies as New England, Vermont.

01:12:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, Rhode Island, that area. I just don't like that area of the world very much. Oh interesting, I love Well, that's unfair, that's unfair. I think I just feel insecure around those college gifts.

01:12:27
Speaker 4: I mean, if you're spending all your just kind of wandering around Harvard.

01:12:33
Speaker 3: But you know, the leaves, the fall leave, that is beautiful.

01:12:35
Speaker 2: Yeah.

01:12:36
Speaker 3: Yeah, the national parks are great, Akadia and Maine. Hiking around the.

01:12:39
Speaker 4: Leaves, maple syrup, all kinds of things. You've got to visit. This is This podcast is sponsored by New England. Visit New England today. Okay, we answered two questions perfectly. We've given each other gifts that we'll hold on to for well, I'm going to use these to kind of help myself get ready for public viewing.

01:13:02
Speaker 3: I will remove my black heads three at a time, raw all over my face, eyebrows.

01:13:10
Speaker 4: I'm so happy you could return, Jeff.

01:13:12
Speaker 3: This was a delight. I didn't know I was the first returning guest. I'm like, now I'm like a staple of the show.

01:13:18
Speaker 4: Or a friend of the show, the first friend of the show. We don't have a lot of friends on the show, mostly enemies. We're making a lot of enemies, so for someone to return is a rare thing, and the listener's thrilled. I'm thrilled on a lease was uneasy, nervous the whole time, nervous the whole time. But thank you for being here.

01:13:41
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.

01:13:42
Speaker 4: And listener, we've come to the end of the podcast. I mean, you've lived through history. What a day you're having. Hopefully this energizes you to do something I don't know, whatever, you do something with your life, something with your life, you touch a little pig.

01:14:01
Speaker 5: Ah.

01:14:02
Speaker 4: This is the end of the podcast. Move on, I love.

01:14:05
Speaker 3: You, goodbye.

01:14:10
Speaker 4: I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Annalise Nelson, and it's beautifully mixed by Leona Squilatchi. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker Patrick Kottner. The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said no Gifts, I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts?

01:14:40
Speaker 3: The I invit? Did you hear.

01:14:44
Speaker 1: Funa man, myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest, Tom, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no gifts.

01:15:00
Speaker 2: Presence is presents enough. I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare to surbey me?