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Speaker 1: Hey City misconnections. That was me staring. There's only two

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Speaker 1: places to find true love in this world. One is

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Speaker 1: in the Carnival Funhouse mirror room when you lock eyes

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Speaker 1: with someone eight feet tall and shaped like a melted

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Speaker 1: bowling point? Are you looking at yourself in the mirror?

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Speaker 1: Check out the curves on that girl. The other is

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Speaker 1: on the pages of craigslist dot org. We scoured that

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Speaker 1: website every week to find the best misconnections that they

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Speaker 1: have to offer, like this first one, titled falling for

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Speaker 1: You One Floor at a Time. Oh Man for woman

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Speaker 1: thirty nine office building. Oh boy, he says. We met

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Speaker 1: in the elevator a few hours ago. It was just

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Speaker 1: you and me the whole way. What a fantasy that was.

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Speaker 1: I was the awkward guy standing to your right. Obviously

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Speaker 1: you're the only person. I wanted to talk to you,

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Speaker 1: but didn't know what to say, so I just said hi. Oh.

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Speaker 1: You smiled politely, but didn't make eye contact. Instead, you

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Speaker 1: stared at your shoes, So I pointed down at them

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Speaker 1: and asked, what's that down there? That's the weirdest way

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Speaker 1: to ask someone anything, sir. Then I lifted my arm

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Speaker 1: up and flicked your nose. Whoa, don't touch her. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what kind of reaction i'd have if a

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Speaker 1: dude did that to me, but I feel like it

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Speaker 1: would be some sort of punching. Yeah, definitely a punch

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Speaker 1: and getting out of the next floor. Yeah. I thought

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Speaker 1: one hundred percent that would have made you laugh, but

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Speaker 1: you just looked at me and shock. Wow. But hey,

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Speaker 1: at least you looked at me as the elevator doors opened.

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Speaker 1: I felt bad and tried to give you the tuna

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Speaker 1: fish sandwich that was in my front pocket. Oh god,

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Speaker 1: I don't know pocket. I don't know if you even

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Speaker 1: saw it. You were moving so quickly. It's like a

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Speaker 1: tunamel at that point. If you see this, I'd like

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Speaker 1: to get to know you better, but we should probably

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Speaker 1: hang out before Friday. That's the day my dad predicted

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Speaker 1: something bad would happen on Earth. I'm sure coworkers and

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Speaker 1: was like you, guys, I met the cutest guy with

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Speaker 1: a that's from Andy Yay. Let's go to your next

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Speaker 1: misconnection titled Winter Winter. Why not have Me for Dinner?

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Speaker 1: Woman thirty six for Man's seventies Casino. She says, you

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Speaker 1: older gentleman balding with wisps of gray hair riding a

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Speaker 1: sleek black mobility scooter. He's got that sport mode. Well,

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Speaker 1: he's got the black one for me. Short blonde, red lipstick,

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Speaker 1: olive colored strapless dress, parentheses, not a prostitute. I'm glad

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Speaker 1: she clarified, because my mind went right to that. I

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Speaker 1: think there's been a couple of mixups in the past,

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Speaker 1: is why she put that in there. Jeff, she keeps going.

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Speaker 1: I was at the casino the other night in my

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Speaker 1: favorite church outfit, playing the slots. Oh that's your church outfit.

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Speaker 1: When I heard you coughing one machine over, you were

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Speaker 1: holding an oxygen tank and smiled at me. Hey, classic

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Speaker 1: slot player, I thought to myself, I don't know, you're

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Speaker 1: not my usual type, but maybe too upright is what

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Speaker 1: it sounds like. Then got real when you hit the jackpot. Oh,

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Speaker 1: and I got caught up in the moment and jumped

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Speaker 1: right in your lap. Oh wait, I don't know, but

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Speaker 1: I'm worried about his pelvis. Yeah. We then had the

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Speaker 1: best time as you did donuts around the casino floor

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Speaker 1: with me laying over the handlebars. Life doesn't end when

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Speaker 1: after that I offered to cash out the ticket for you,

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Speaker 1: so you didn't have to get up. I bet you did.

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Speaker 1: You declined, but being the generous lady that I am,

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Speaker 1: I decided to accompany you over to the register anyways.

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Speaker 1: I'll be honest, you shocked me a little when you

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Speaker 1: asked the cashier for security to escort you to your car. Lady,

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Speaker 1: So we both waited until a large gentleman with me

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Speaker 1: with four arm tattoos showed up. She's like, yeah, people

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Speaker 1: were getting on this guy's nerves. She's like, are you

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Speaker 1: going to carry me too? Then you blew me a

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Speaker 1: kiss and rolled out of my life. I never got

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Speaker 1: to tell you I like older men. You're definitely old.

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Speaker 1: If you see this, maybe you want to take me

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Speaker 1: on a trip to the Virgin Islands or possibly Italy.

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Speaker 1: You have the cash to do that twenty times over. Now,

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Speaker 1: let's live a little, especially before you die. Why do

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Speaker 1: I feel like she's going to take his oxygen? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: To take that. That's from a rosie. She's got a real,

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Speaker 1: real way with words, Yeah she does. Let's go to

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Speaker 1: your next misconnection titled Sunscreens Smiles then Gone for miles

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Speaker 1: Man for Woman forty five beach. He says, I was

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Speaker 1: the good looking guy with the salt and pepper beard

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Speaker 1: you spoke with at the beach the other day. I

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Speaker 1: cruised into your area on my boogie board with my

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Speaker 1: pink and blue board shorts, looking like well, an old

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Speaker 1: guy in board shorts at least aware you were the

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Speaker 1: super cute single mom with three kids. I think you

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Speaker 1: said your name was Darlene or Arlene or Eileen. Ok.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't hear that well, because I've had swimmers here

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Speaker 1: for about six months. I'm in the water a lot. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: we had a little chit chat, then a good laugh

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Speaker 1: when one of your kids asked me if I was

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Speaker 1: one of those beach bums. Just because I sleep under

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Speaker 1: the dock on weekends doesn't mean I'm homeless. I think

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Speaker 1: it does, though. Actually I am sometimes, but I consider

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Speaker 1: myself more of a flip flop philosopher. It was fun

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Speaker 1: playing frisbee with your kids. Probably shouldn't have tried to

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Speaker 1: catch one in my mouth though. The frisbee, yeah, it

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Speaker 1: was a little bit of a showboat move, trying to

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Speaker 1: get your attention by sea dog in it. She was

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Speaker 1: just happy that the kids were distracted. Dude to you anyway,

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Speaker 1: I finally got the courage to ask for your number.

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Speaker 1: You told me to hold on because you needed to

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Speaker 1: take your kids to the public bathroom to clean up,

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Speaker 1: but sadly you never came back. You're probably shy like me.

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Speaker 1: If you see this, you see this reply back and

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Speaker 1: we can either meet at a Starbucks with free Wi

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Speaker 1: Fi or down by the dock, but only on weekends

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Speaker 1: during the week, I have an obligation to the state. Ah,

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Speaker 1: you can do this. That's from Mick. Those were your

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Speaker 1: Craigslist misconnections for the week, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,