Speaker 1: You're listening to math and we are.
Speaker 2: We are on time for us, you know, only fifteen
Speaker 2: minutes later. No, no, we were we were what were
Speaker 2: we we?
Speaker 1: No? No, no, yeah, oh yeah, we didn't get you
Speaker 1: in yet. But hold on, Hi, you look amazing, Marie,
Speaker 1: you look fantastic.
Speaker 3: Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got. I
Speaker 3: literally ripped my pants up the butt when every time
Speaker 3: I move my legs I hear it rip a little
Speaker 3: bit more.
Speaker 2: What do you mean so there was a little hole
Speaker 2: in my pants before I left my house.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, Since we have to start the sea,
Speaker 4: we have to start from the top.
Speaker 1: From the top, from the make it drop. You rip
Speaker 1: in my pants?
Speaker 4: A rip in your pants straight up the button? No,
Speaker 4: you're that's not true.
Speaker 3: WHOA I would show you. But listener, can we can
Speaker 3: we see subscribe to my butt?
Speaker 1: Listen?
Speaker 5: Can you can you stand uperwear hold on body suit?
Speaker 2: Let me see?
Speaker 1: Girl? Why you being so gay? Girl?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 4: Remember we went to Jenny's wedding and your dress ripped
Speaker 4: and I was protecting you.
Speaker 1: You were, but it was your.
Speaker 2: Savior for your ass.
Speaker 3: My chair is my ass savior. Okay, okay, listen, I
Speaker 3: wore my long coat.
Speaker 2: Is that your Is that your mess for today?
Speaker 3: It's just part of the mess that is me, you know,
Speaker 3: mess that is you, That is mess that is me.
Speaker 1: And that might be the title. That's the mess within
Speaker 1: me sees me messy. Ye.
Speaker 2: Anyway, I'm very warm, there's a little hot, and I
Speaker 2: don't have anything underneath. You just came outside in a
Speaker 2: in a thick sweater.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's giving like I had a little romp with
Speaker 4: somebody and I just put on their sweater. Girl, you
Speaker 4: banging one of the producers, giving producer sweater right now?
Speaker 4: Zip up, it's a zip up. No, I like disheveled today. Disheveled.
Speaker 1: I like went to bed kind of late time.
Speaker 2: Huh at what time?
Speaker 1: Four am? Later? Come on later than four? Yes, he
Speaker 1: was up with the baby. Well, I have a child,
Speaker 1: she's no.
Speaker 4: The thing is is that we got off the phone.
Speaker 4: I don't know what time. I don't know we got
Speaker 4: off the phone at midnight day it was before midnight
Speaker 4: before you know what. Let me talk about my mess.
Speaker 4: The mess is the Neil Salon. They have got to
Speaker 4: find a way to be more like time efficient.
Speaker 1: When did it?
Speaker 4: When did it become where you go into the salon
Speaker 4: and now you're there all day.
Speaker 1: It's like a two hours It's two hours of my time.
Speaker 4: The nail salon is now a time where it's actually worked.
Speaker 4: It's actually I'm clocking in. I like going there. I
Speaker 4: thought I could go in and out. There's no more.
Speaker 4: You're in and that's your whole day.
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 4: I walked in at like three thirty. I didn't leave
Speaker 4: until eight thirty.
Speaker 1: What wait? Girl? What? What else? What they do? So?
Speaker 4: I got my feet done too? Oh well, well don't
Speaker 4: did I show my feet on the pod?
Speaker 5: I wait to purry the lead that you should say
Speaker 5: for the Patreon people would pay to see that.
Speaker 1: Oh you know what, no show it here? Just okay.
Speaker 1: Show men will pay for that. You get a lot
Speaker 1: of extra money. The only men that are here are gay.
Speaker 1: You know what. They don't. They'll still pay.
Speaker 4: For it, still pay for you know what. He won't
Speaker 4: let us, he won't let us go in, so we
Speaker 4: just have to bring him in. Hey, we have a
Speaker 4: guest today. I don't know if you can hear that
Speaker 4: beautiful sound that's vibrating over the mic that alto How.
Speaker 1: How long was I supposed to wait? Said? I don't know.
Speaker 3: Actually, honestly, I'm cool with you talking it just it
Speaker 3: was funny to see Sidney go, we haven't bought you
Speaker 3: in yet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's been at.
Speaker 4: The mails, got back from the mails on from yesterday,
Speaker 4: which I need to do my nails.
Speaker 1: Okay, well they're rough.
Speaker 2: Let's bring in our fabulous guests. I mean, listen.
Speaker 4: He has a book to coming out, he has another
Speaker 4: special coming out on Hulu. I am so glad to
Speaker 4: call him one of my dearest close friends.
Speaker 1: Emergency com eulogy he has.
Speaker 4: He has a beautiful apartment and he can make the
Speaker 4: hell out of a lasagna.
Speaker 2: Give it up for a Telane.
Speaker 3: Teilane's here, Taylane is here, and uh, you know we're
Speaker 3: going to get to your mess in a moment too.
Speaker 2: But you go get your nails done sometimes.
Speaker 1: Every once in a while. But then I chew him
Speaker 1: right off. How long does it take? I mean seven
Speaker 1: and a half minutes.
Speaker 5: Although last time I went with Nick, I got a
Speaker 5: little pumpkin put on my thumb and the girl we
Speaker 5: had was like her first day because a guy next
Speaker 5: was did a pumpkin, but some white lady was getting
Speaker 5: a pumpkin. I thought that is kind of cute. I
Speaker 5: do want to live laugh love of my thumb, so this.
Speaker 2: Is you know your thumb is live laugh love.
Speaker 1: It was cute.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Michael's Arts and Crafts. So this is in October.
Speaker 5: So I was like, I'll do it. And then the
Speaker 5: woman was like clearly panicking, and then this guy kept
Speaker 5: coming over and then it because then it's I don't
Speaker 5: want the pumpkin anymore because now there's like six people
Speaker 5: are like everyone's looking at me just to get this pumpkin.
Speaker 5: And she didn't know how to do the gel It
Speaker 5: was embarrassing. And then I didn't realize that to get
Speaker 5: a gel off you had to go back in and
Speaker 5: get them to take it off.
Speaker 1: Yeah. That was kind of rip it off myself. And
Speaker 1: it's like you're your nails and you just said.
Speaker 4: Nick Smith, you will also be on the pod one day.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I I am tired of maintenance. But I went into
Speaker 4: the salon because I was hired of maintenance.
Speaker 1: I'm tired of maintenance, like maintaining the hotness because you can't. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: I'm not just the person who just right out the
Speaker 1: coach was hot. I had to build up to the
Speaker 1: hotness and then I why whoa well? People that what
Speaker 1: you're talking about?
Speaker 2: It is I guess I'm agree with you.
Speaker 3: Think for me.
Speaker 1: Don't do that. You did it. You did it, girl,
Speaker 1: she did and I just laughed.
Speaker 3: You said I wasn't out the coach hot, and I said,
Speaker 3: this is why you have a personality.
Speaker 1: Yes, people who are hot when they're young, you know.
Speaker 3: And yeah, also they grow up and they get ugly
Speaker 3: over time.
Speaker 5: You got to be a I was a balding one
Speaker 5: eyebrow to skinny Benjamin button baby, Benjamin button baby.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, and you know what, and I'll you know what.
Speaker 4: That is my truth and I'll live within it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, there's just so many things that you have
Speaker 1: to do to especially being outward.
Speaker 2: You know, we got to be on Instagram and wet
Speaker 2: Harver shit together.
Speaker 4: If our eyebrows are not laid, if hair is not
Speaker 4: on fleek, why why am I turning on the camera.
Speaker 4: So I was in there for too long, days, too long,
Speaker 4: and the woman who was doing my nails, you could
Speaker 4: just tell when somebody not really in it, their heart
Speaker 4: is not and they are not they don't want to
Speaker 4: be there. And I was trying to chatter up like Hey,
Speaker 4: she was not here for now. She was on her period,
Speaker 4: you know what, and we need to stop that. Maybe
Speaker 4: she's always about the baby. She just got dumb or
Speaker 4: maybe or maybe she just lives in New York.
Speaker 3: Maybe she just got news from the cologists that she
Speaker 3: got chlamydia.
Speaker 1: Wow again, Okay, I like the life.
Speaker 3: You're paying for it. She's a bitch, but like we
Speaker 3: all have days where we wake up and we're not
Speaker 3: really feeling it, but we got to show up and
Speaker 3: do our job.
Speaker 1: Isn't that New York? Though? New York is just a
Speaker 1: lot of people interacting with each other, but we don't
Speaker 1: want to be there. How many times have you gone
Speaker 1: to get coffee and.
Speaker 5: You walk up and say, hi, how are you? And
Speaker 5: they just stare at you and you're like, okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but if you were a mister, would you be
Speaker 1: beat it? Would you be smiling?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 5: New York beats the ship out of it. It's like
Speaker 5: there's no job, a nail salon of breath. Like these
Speaker 5: people work their fucking asses off and you get a
Speaker 5: bunch of like really really bitchy people coming and you
Speaker 5: did this wrong, you did that wrong.
Speaker 1: Every just on high alert. They're on Amber alert all
Speaker 1: day long.
Speaker 4: New York is literally beating me like the cops did
Speaker 4: Rodney King.
Speaker 2: It kills it every every single day. I'm getting jumps.
Speaker 1: I'm getting We had a nice dinner the other night.
Speaker 1: We did, we did, and then we beat the and
Speaker 1: now we beat the ship out of Sydney.
Speaker 5: We put on a Christmas movie and beat the ship
Speaker 5: out of her and we were like, and then I
Speaker 5: made a Mina hot coco to celebrate, right, we had
Speaker 5: a toasty tries to play by the way like she's
Speaker 5: the sweet one. And then after all the comments are made,
Speaker 5: she comes out with the Mina's comment, do I name my.
Speaker 4: Lawyer president, call up overalled my lawyer present you you're
Speaker 4: talking about.
Speaker 1: When you called our friend Haggard.
Speaker 2: I never called my friend Haggard.
Speaker 4: Mina called our friend tired, and I just used another word,
Speaker 4: and you also used tired, and then you added I
Speaker 4: was in.
Speaker 5: The kitchen making that ice cream for the fifth hour,
Speaker 5: and I was like, I heard Haggard.
Speaker 4: Let me find out that Mateo is a what is
Speaker 4: it tryad wife.
Speaker 1: Or what Martha Stewart. I'm obsessed with Martha Stewart. You
Speaker 1: watched the documentary of course.
Speaker 5: I watched it, and then I since watched every single
Speaker 5: her best interviews with David Letterman right after she got
Speaker 5: out of jail.
Speaker 3: Wait, hold on before weeks, since we talked.
Speaker 1: About today, Matteo is here to answer the question. Are
Speaker 1: white women Yes, Now let's go back white woman. Yeah.
Speaker 5: But there's something different about her because she's not messy
Speaker 5: and she's been to jail.
Speaker 4: She said, she's not messy. Didn't she steal somebody's man?
Speaker 4: Didn't she cheat on her husband?
Speaker 1: In the church that.
Speaker 5: Was there was it was like an Amsterdam or some
Speaker 5: ship Italy. And they, by the way, they.
Speaker 1: Paint international, so if it's not on American grounds, it doesn't.
Speaker 5: They also when they described her story of cheating, it
Speaker 5: was like painted, it was like angelic and that. But
Speaker 5: but there was the best one her. She was like,
Speaker 5: if your ladies, if your husband's cheating on you, get
Speaker 5: out of it. You don't either are a piece of ship.
Speaker 5: And the producers like, didn't you cheat on your husband?
Speaker 5: She's like, well, you didn't know about that.
Speaker 1: Which is fun I'm talking about.
Speaker 5: This came from the fact of we're all performers, and
Speaker 5: it comes from who are notoriously the worst audience members
Speaker 5: in the world. It's a drunk white woman with a
Speaker 5: rose in her hand.
Speaker 4: No, I'm gonna say, I'm going to disagree to that
Speaker 4: audience member. Uh, somebody bringing their boyfriend who really didn't
Speaker 4: sign up for it.
Speaker 1: Oh, a straight man, a straight man up show. He's
Speaker 1: gonna put his feet on the stage. He is going
Speaker 1: to look.
Speaker 4: I mean, uncanny Valley giving just straight to the state,
Speaker 4: like are you here?
Speaker 1: Are you a robot? They're not talking to they're not
Speaker 1: even listening. Do you do this?
Speaker 5: But fine, I'd rather, I would literally rather somebody like
Speaker 5: sitting around facing the back of their head than every
Speaker 5: single punchline.
Speaker 1: And then why are you gonna do it?
Speaker 5: I mean that is like, because it just happened with
Speaker 5: Sydney and I. We're doing shows and Richmond and this
Speaker 5: drunk white lady. I mean, of course there's two thousand people.
Speaker 5: She's in the front row. Everyone else is calmly minding
Speaker 5: their own business.
Speaker 1: And during the.
Speaker 4: Show I told her when she was during my set,
Speaker 4: I said something about meth.
Speaker 2: She was going crazy and I was like, are you
Speaker 2: on meth?
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, when Mateo comes up here, you
Speaker 1: everybody all mute? Meaning you, you are everybody. She's like,
Speaker 1: she's not talking about me. I'm special. Yeah, it's it's
Speaker 1: my stay week.
Speaker 5: I just reposted my joke about girls who celebrate their
Speaker 5: birthday weeks.
Speaker 3: Well, she just she there's no one more confident than
Speaker 3: a drunk white woman.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and they all they'll fight anyone, Oh babe, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but is it really a fight.
Speaker 4: It's more like if you're fighting fighting the air, fighting
Speaker 4: the air with arrogance, that's what it is.
Speaker 2: You're not really going to get.
Speaker 1: Is that air a tornado that's ripped through my town?
Speaker 2: Yeah, the tornado that killed Dorothy?
Speaker 1: Did Dorothy die? Dorothy? Didn't Dorothy the East? What movie
Speaker 1: did you watch? Marie? Oh? Can you play on your phone?
Speaker 1: We made the entire audience with Cynthia Eva.
Speaker 4: And they made me do the example, which is the
Speaker 4: worst because I'm toned down.
Speaker 1: It was your idea. It was me and Nix. It
Speaker 1: was a thousand percent Sidney's ideas. Either, remember that Nick
Speaker 1: can sing, So why would y'all can studied opera?
Speaker 5: It's funny to go through we should just go through
Speaker 5: celebrity white women to see who's messy, who's going through.
Speaker 2: The eighth the alphabet of white women, celebrity, white.
Speaker 1: Woman, celebrity's just go through and not away, not messy
Speaker 1: and hear me out, well, they don't they You know what.
Speaker 4: The audience is very thick with her because one minute
Speaker 4: they're like, oh my god, we're upset she can be
Speaker 4: that woman, and then the next minute is like, she's
Speaker 4: such a bit she's mean.
Speaker 1: I think it's switched.
Speaker 5: I think I think the consensus was when she won
Speaker 5: the Oscar, it was a cringe speech. She was like
Speaker 5: the game true like it was. She was very musical,
Speaker 5: theater girl. Then she kind of went away for a
Speaker 5: bit and she came back. She's never looked better. And
Speaker 5: her attitude now is like she doesn't take herself seriously.
Speaker 5: Like an entire basketball player fell on her and her
Speaker 5: son in a basketball game. She's like, yeah, I was
Speaker 5: honestly the best part. Like Internet's back in love with
Speaker 5: Anne Hathaway, Like I didn't try to tell her son
Speaker 5: because Sam Mourel got a side like courtside see it
Speaker 5: was there and her son was so cute. He was
Speaker 5: wearing a Knicks jersey. He's like eighty five and kept
Speaker 5: he looked at us and he just put the thumbs
Speaker 5: up and goes go necks, and we're like, go next.
Speaker 1: Even though I'm a Bulls fan.
Speaker 5: From Chicago. The tables red.
Speaker 1: Teresa America is also red when they sunburned there red. Yes,
Speaker 1: except for Italians. Yeah, that is true.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say the thing about Ann Hathaway from
Speaker 3: me is I didn't think she should have been catwoman.
Speaker 1: I didn't see it.
Speaker 3: I don't think she's sexy, but she plays like quirky,
Speaker 3: weird glow up.
Speaker 5: Girls because I think you associate her with like her
Speaker 5: previous roles right, so like everything right way she became.
Speaker 1: She get sexy in that movie though, and I love
Speaker 1: she was wearing the Chanel boots.
Speaker 4: No, it wasn't just the boots, the lips, the bangs.
Speaker 4: She has a beautiful eye, she's spelled.
Speaker 1: And she is a strong word.
Speaker 5: When you see your in person, you're like, Okay, this
Speaker 5: woman is in person literally stunning.
Speaker 2: But she would you call her a sexy person?
Speaker 4: I think sexy is someone sometimes from within. You know,
Speaker 4: being mysterious is sexy. I think bangs are sexy.
Speaker 5: Wait, hold on, hold up, we just said it comes
Speaker 5: from within, said sterious and jumped straight to bangs.
Speaker 1: That's the bangs. The bangs make you mysterious behind.
Speaker 2: If somebody can't see your eyebrows, they don't know you.
Speaker 1: A little jam Brady, Oh did we watch them? We
Speaker 1: watched together.
Speaker 5: It's such a good movie. Okay, So Anne Hathaway, I'm
Speaker 5: gonna say not mess, not mess a plus. Okay, Okay, next.
Speaker 1: One, you got a list, Who's who's on?
Speaker 4: I'm going through what I was gonna. I was gonna say.
Speaker 4: The next one for me was Madonna. You're going through
Speaker 4: the alphabet.
Speaker 1: We can jump right into.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was gonna say, Madonna's Madonna.
Speaker 2: I just saw a.
Speaker 1: Clip of this isn't always bad. By the way, mess
Speaker 1: is fun. Mess is fun. We're here, we listen, we're
Speaker 1: here judge and we do judge. No Sidney listens and.
Speaker 5: I yet, no, I think it's I think you're right mess.
Speaker 5: By the way, those the mess is not bad, but
Speaker 5: Madonna MESSI absolutely.
Speaker 1: Doing poppers on Instagram lot.
Speaker 3: Didn't a rat a mouse run through the back of
Speaker 3: her Live one time?
Speaker 1: Your mouse? Oh yes, wait.
Speaker 3: Wait during the pandemic wait Live in twenty twenty and
Speaker 3: a mouse ran across the back and you.
Speaker 5: Can't you know that eighteen people were fired the second
Speaker 5: that Mouse ran through.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, what are you firing the whole building?
Speaker 4: Like, that's not their fault, it's not her their faul,
Speaker 4: like Donason's fault that a rat got in. It's like, hey,
Speaker 4: maybe you shouldn't have a big ass door that has
Speaker 4: a draft.
Speaker 1: That's gonna google Madonna mouse. Okay, wait, but she she's
Speaker 1: just like me. Did you just see that? She?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 1: I guess was doing a speech.
Speaker 4: She was like, Michael's gone, Whitney's gone on, Aretha is gone?
Speaker 4: H who there was like a big name people who
Speaker 4: have got Amy Amy wine House gone.
Speaker 1: She's like, but I'm I'm still here? What what? Yeah?
Speaker 1: She said.
Speaker 5: It was so it makes it sound like she's like,
Speaker 5: and now that they're gone, I shall rule them all.
Speaker 1: Like she's crying on you except me. I'm still here.
Speaker 4: It was so funny because I was like, wait, she's unreal.
Speaker 5: It's a bit messy. Her instagram lives are a bit messy.
Speaker 4: Can someone I need someone to find that clip for me,
Speaker 4: and we need to put it in do it right now,
Speaker 4: somebody where I'm.
Speaker 1: Going on YouTube right now? Madonna, I'm still here. She's
Speaker 1: like she's like, I'm standing or here, maybe still standing.
Speaker 6: Michael is gone, Tupac is gone, Prince is gone, Whitney
Speaker 6: is gone, Amy Winehouse is gone, David Bowie is gone.
Speaker 8: But I'm still standing.
Speaker 3: Mass that's supposed to me.
Speaker 1: She just confessed to kill it all of those. You
Speaker 1: love it. Madonna is so Funnyrince.
Speaker 3: Is gone, Tupac's gone, Amy one House is gone?
Speaker 1: Who else is gone?
Speaker 4: You know how you're in the mirror and you're This
Speaker 4: is probably something that she was like supposed to be
Speaker 4: saying to herself, but she went on stage and said
Speaker 4: that in a microphone.
Speaker 2: I love that for her. I love that.
Speaker 4: And then there's a mouse, But that's relatable. That's relatable.
Speaker 1: If there's a mouse running in the mad New York.
Speaker 1: She lives in Manhattan. What can you do? Yeah, your Madonna?
Speaker 1: You have a rat? Bit Madonna?
Speaker 2: Was it a rat or was it a mouse?
Speaker 1: I was calling it a mouse, But this video is
Speaker 1: saying Madonna's rat.
Speaker 5: Oh wows like her pet rat.
Speaker 2: What's the difference between a mouse and a rat?
Speaker 3: I always thought a mouse was like a petite in
Speaker 3: the house and a rat is a big outside animal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, the rats.
Speaker 5: It's I mean, the mice are They're like a prairie animal, right,
Speaker 5: and they're smaller, and they're cute. Mice are cute outside
Speaker 5: of them being in your home, they're cute.
Speaker 1: They just kind of went free.
Speaker 2: We had a field mouse in my in my apartment.
Speaker 1: Field mouse in the house.
Speaker 2: Yes, I had a field mouse. Had no idea that
Speaker 2: it was in there.
Speaker 4: But this was when I, you know, I was working
Speaker 4: at night, partying hards, sleeping all day there.
Speaker 1: My light bulb was out in my closet. Had no idea.
Speaker 4: The mouse was apparently living in the cloud roommate, Yes,
Speaker 4: living there, going through going going through my clothes from
Speaker 4: an intermix, and I had no idea until I started
Speaker 4: seeing droppings.
Speaker 2: I was seeing droppings throughout the house.
Speaker 4: And so finally he came out during the day when
Speaker 4: I had finally got some pizza because I never had
Speaker 4: any food in the house. There was no perishables. So
Speaker 4: he finally came out in the middle of the living room, like,
Speaker 4: thank god, bitch, if.
Speaker 1: You don't give me a slice right now, I'm shooting
Speaker 1: up this whole place. He's a big hold. Where the
Speaker 1: hell's a fucking Patti. I'm starving and they're.
Speaker 3: Eating crumbs off your heels, But what were the droppings?
Speaker 2: What was he eating? What I used to call him Patrick?
Speaker 4: Patrick was definitely going through bags of cocaine, like you know,
Speaker 4: the residual.
Speaker 1: We're gonna do it, We're gonna start a business the heels.
Speaker 1: That's exactly what Patrick was going, and off he was.
Speaker 1: He came out, he was like, you finally eat, like
Speaker 1: I was worried or he was like, did you have
Speaker 1: an eating disorder or not? Like I did not saw
Speaker 1: the mouse shave you? Yes?
Speaker 5: Absolutely, So all that to say is Madonna MESSI.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yes she was, and she loves dating a
Speaker 4: younger guy, which I'm not fine, I'm mad.
Speaker 2: I'm not mad at that.
Speaker 4: But apparently the guy that she was just dating he
Speaker 4: left his.
Speaker 1: Young girl for her. Well right, it's Madonna.
Speaker 2: Share is also dating somebody who's really young.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 7: I just want to say something before I get a
Speaker 7: chance to go on.
Speaker 1: I date young guys. But oh sunny.
Speaker 2: So I don't think Share is messy. I think Share mine.
Speaker 1: Mess, babes. Why is shareman?
Speaker 7: Because I'm reading Shar's book and her mom was a
Speaker 7: mess too. But it's okay, I'm not a mess, but
Speaker 7: I am a mess.
Speaker 1: So that's like what shared?
Speaker 5: Doesn't every interview she forget something and then immediately goes
Speaker 5: back on what she just said. She's amazing by the way,
Speaker 5: I am reading her book.
Speaker 2: What is she saying in the book?
Speaker 7: Well, I'm talking about growing up and being in an
Speaker 7: orphanage and then she was an orphanage and my mom
Speaker 7: had seven marriages and my dad's Armenian and oh, Sunny,
Speaker 7: shut up a bit?
Speaker 1: Is that is?
Speaker 2: Are you listening to the audiobook?
Speaker 1: Like what's going on?
Speaker 7: But I can't do it all myself because I'm dyslectic.
Speaker 1: So she yes, you have to read my tweets too,
Speaker 1: But I had Stephanie j Block.
Speaker 7: She did me on Broadways. So she's reading half of it.
Speaker 7: So I only read half my book.
Speaker 1: Babes, Wait what, she's not even reading all of her books.
Speaker 7: No, I'm seventy seven, my knees hurd, I need boneva
Speaker 7: what isa?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Sally Field always talked about it. Let's
Speaker 1: read if you read it.
Speaker 5: Shares tweets by the way, because they're amazing because like
Speaker 5: she capitalizes some words and doesn't capitalize other words.
Speaker 1: And I love that for.
Speaker 4: Her because woman, I love her, A woman about her
Speaker 4: business is like I'm not I'm not putting caps on everything.
Speaker 4: Everything doesn't need to be capitalized like lowercase letters. I
Speaker 4: don't like lowercase letters from a straight man. That's toxic.
Speaker 1: Here's a perfect one.
Speaker 7: Elephants deserve freedom with doctor Jane Goodall.
Speaker 1: Oh sunny, son of a b The tweet that can't
Speaker 1: be the tweet? Oh no that you must Yeah, haven't.
Speaker 7: Seen TV slash talk to anyone straight didn't know what happened?
Speaker 1: Oh believe it's the only chance for America. Sorry, am I?
Speaker 1: What is my problem?
Speaker 2: Well, to be fair, that's what you tweet, A tweet
Speaker 2: should be.
Speaker 1: But she's amazing shot, she's super super smart. It's just
Speaker 1: kind of kind of had a messy career. She's been up,
Speaker 1: she's been down, you know, and she's been like really old.
Speaker 2: What's the messiest part of her career?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 5: I mean everything from the beginning. First of all, she
Speaker 5: met Sonny when she was sixteen.
Speaker 1: Oh, I think like late twenties, and then they lived together,
Speaker 1: but then we didn't he didn't think I.
Speaker 7: Was attractive, so we didn't sleep with each other until
Speaker 7: it was eighteen it sounds like a live.
Speaker 1: You cannot do the voice when you're saying something so serious.
Speaker 1: And then they.
Speaker 5: Became big stars, right with the I Got You Babe,
Speaker 5: And then they became losers and then they were like touring,
Speaker 5: like became Yeah.
Speaker 1: She says that we were losers and we were playing
Speaker 1: for four people and shitty shows in Vegas, and then
Speaker 1: that's how they came up with the Sonny and Share Show,
Speaker 1: and then we were stars again. And then Sonny wanted
Speaker 1: her out and then he took her money and all
Speaker 1: of her every The only thing he didn't own was
Speaker 1: her name.
Speaker 7: So I didn't read the contract, so he took everything.
Speaker 7: So I was alone. I had no money.
Speaker 5: And then she did the Share Show and then she
Speaker 5: became famous. Then she did a movie and she was
Speaker 5: nominated for an Oscar, but people laughed at her when
Speaker 5: they showed her name because I didn't think she could
Speaker 5: be an actress.
Speaker 1: And then she was She won the Oscar, and then
Speaker 1: I did an infomercial and everyone laughed at me. And
Speaker 1: then she came back again with the Believe song. Remember Believe?
Speaker 1: What is that? That's my audible? True?
Speaker 4: I want to know what type of coffee did you
Speaker 4: drink before you got here.
Speaker 1: Fresh shoel with chocolate. I mean to make them chocolate mitello.
Speaker 3: You are I'm not a mess.
Speaker 1: I am a mess. This is a messy white woman,
Speaker 1: white woman? Is that so?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You came in the podcast with all these voices. You
Speaker 1: really do you want me to see him be like
Speaker 1: Shares a mess? This is his SNL audition table that show.
Speaker 4: Hey, Lauren, we're tagging Lauren. We're tagging Lauren.
Speaker 1: When we Lauren Michaels Lauren call Hi Lauren or LAURENZ
Speaker 1: Sophia Lauren or Lauren Hill, Laurence Hill. Give her two
Speaker 1: hours to show up two days. You her two hours
Speaker 1: to read the sweet Okay?
Speaker 4: Also next up for me, I think we need to
Speaker 4: remove that Britney Spears is connected to mess.
Speaker 2: I think it's more than I think.
Speaker 4: We what what society has done to her with the industry.
Speaker 1: That's the reason why she's the way she was. I
Speaker 1: don't think she was always like what she is.
Speaker 5: Right now, let me say this, anything Brittany chooses to
Speaker 5: do is a full masterpiece and I stand by it. Yes,
Speaker 5: why can Picasso get away being shirtless painting like half
Speaker 5: sort of stick figures and everyone. You know, Brittany wants
Speaker 5: to dance in a rainbow dress on her Instagram in
Speaker 5: front of a.
Speaker 3: Let me tell you who's messy in Brittany's life? Whoever
Speaker 3: is not unplugging the Wi Fi? Lock her out of
Speaker 3: her Instagram. You know she don't know the password.
Speaker 1: You know, don't take away her money, take away the internet.
Speaker 1: She wear her access to us.
Speaker 3: Yes, because if you want to twork with a with
Speaker 3: a knife, do that.
Speaker 2: If you want to have this camera at this weird
Speaker 2: angle in.
Speaker 3: A shirt, a tank top pulled down to cover up,
Speaker 3: barely cover your butt.
Speaker 2: It's like, girl, you've been dancing all your life.
Speaker 1: The only moves you remember we unplugged the router. Wait no,
Speaker 1: remember when she?
Speaker 7: Uh?
Speaker 1: She before you even asked the question, the answer is yes.
Speaker 2: I don't want to remember when she started a fire
Speaker 2: in her gym.
Speaker 1: I remember, Oh my god, me and Brittany are the same.
Speaker 1: She started a fire.
Speaker 9: Yes, Instagram post having them so you might notice have
Speaker 9: been a different place. Well, my gym bre down, I
Speaker 9: lit a candle and you know what happens anyway, So like, wait.
Speaker 5: A minute, backup, No, I don't know what happens every
Speaker 5: single day, and I've never burnt anything.
Speaker 1: Down, especially not your gym.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Britney Spears burning the gym down and no one
Speaker 3: being like, hey babe, we need to talk like who
Speaker 3: is Chris? People are still getting paid. She got married
Speaker 3: in all of that mess and divorced.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I forgot that.
Speaker 5: They got married and you know who went to the
Speaker 5: wedding was Madonna? No, Christ Jenner, Chris Jenner, Paris Hilton.
Speaker 1: She is a professional like mess. She's a mess curacy.
Speaker 1: He's a mess curate.
Speaker 4: I mean she is in charge of the mess. She
Speaker 4: is doing the like she's the puppeteer. Okay, well I
Speaker 4: don't think she's necessarily messy.
Speaker 2: I think she's.
Speaker 1: Brittany.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna say, is perfection and mess or not mess.
Speaker 5: She's doing what she's supposed to do.
Speaker 1: And we love her.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Hyra Banks, she's not a white woman, but she
Speaker 4: gets associated with.
Speaker 1: Mess persona the Venn diagram of mess.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think she might be at the top of
Speaker 2: the list.
Speaker 4: It has nothing to do with race, but Tyra has
Speaker 4: on paper, has done the messiest things possible.
Speaker 3: Oh she made that girl close her gap while she cried,
Speaker 3: and then she widened someone's gap the next season, and.
Speaker 1: Didn't she like make like black girls white and white
Speaker 1: girls black yep.
Speaker 2: And then it was always some guard that was like,
Speaker 2: I've never cut my hair.
Speaker 3: I've been growing it since I was six, and Tyra's like,
Speaker 3: we're gonna, We're gonna shave it off.
Speaker 1: And then she was giving people bad weaves she gave.
Speaker 3: Remember when she had men on, she put like a
Speaker 3: lace front and beard on a guy that got worms
Speaker 3: in it or something.
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I think that. But also you
Speaker 2: have to understand interview, it was me.
Speaker 1: No, it was a show. It was a show.
Speaker 4: If everybody is just being politically correct and following the rules,
Speaker 4: nobody wants to watch that.
Speaker 1: Well that's why we watch it. But also she took
Speaker 1: these like wafer thing girls and threw them in a
Speaker 1: wind tunnel machine and to get them floating, and they
Speaker 1: couldn't keep control. And then she's there, she's like, you're
Speaker 1: not being sexy, bitch. The winds are one hundred and
Speaker 1: ninety miles an hour. Do you want to be it?
Speaker 1: Do you want to be you want to be? Do
Speaker 1: you want to be on top?
Speaker 5: My favor was the one girl in the yellow dress
Speaker 5: who like She's like, I'm known for being tough and
Speaker 5: I'm I'm always a fighter. She walks on slips right
Speaker 5: away and she stands up. She's like, I got this.
Speaker 5: And as she walks down, she's going on the runway
Speaker 5: and they have these giant like clock things, and what happens.
Speaker 5: She gets hit by both of them, gets knocked off.
Speaker 5: Then she couldn't get back up. Then she fell again,
Speaker 5: and then she was crying.
Speaker 1: And it was always a runway like on water with
Speaker 1: sharks with lasers on their heads.
Speaker 2: Right, and they're always on shoes that were too small.
Speaker 2: It's a challenge.
Speaker 1: And Wendy on the on the ninetieth floor of the
Speaker 1: building and you're not giving sexy. They've got a gun
Speaker 1: to my head.
Speaker 3: Well, Jay, it used to be Jamie Men and he'd
Speaker 3: be like, well, do you want to be a top
Speaker 3: model or not?
Speaker 1: It's like, I don't know, Jay, And it.
Speaker 2: Was like, I'm a Christian, I don't want to show
Speaker 2: my titties.
Speaker 1: Well, do you want to be a top model or not?
Speaker 1: The worst one for me was when they put them
Speaker 1: in the ground.
Speaker 4: When they put when they did like six feet under
Speaker 4: and the people had to be in a coffin and
Speaker 4: then kind of buried alive and like give face in
Speaker 4: the coffin and one of the girls, I think her
Speaker 4: friend died that day.
Speaker 1: So it was so traumatic. But do you want to
Speaker 1: be on top? Ye? Technically she's the bottom six feet
Speaker 1: under and that's how you get to the top.
Speaker 5: Who was the one girl, Jade? Maybe when she walked out,
Speaker 5: she like walked and she was I used to do
Speaker 5: the commercial, remember Love.
Speaker 2: They would do the commercial.
Speaker 3: It was like the last three girls, like the season
Speaker 3: finale episode, and they were all trying to read a
Speaker 3: prompter and walk. It's hard lash blast, lash, blast slash.
Speaker 3: Last cover girl lash blast, blash, lash slash.
Speaker 1: Oh okay.
Speaker 4: Another one on the on the Doctor for me is
Speaker 4: Jessica Simpsons. But she did a full rebrand. She started
Speaker 4: over and I love that. I love that you can
Speaker 4: be a mess and then changed.
Speaker 3: But let's talk about her messiest moment tis the season
Speaker 3: she did Peru.
Speaker 1: That's her messiest.
Speaker 5: She was over singing and she's singing with Astley Simpson,
Speaker 5: who we're going to get to next.
Speaker 1: And I feel for her. I feel for Ashley. I
Speaker 1: love Jessica, and Ashley actually.
Speaker 4: Is the one who was lip singing on SNL. Is
Speaker 4: it equivalent to Fergie doing the national anthem?
Speaker 1: That that is a national treasure?
Speaker 4: Yeah, she can't get no better than that. That was
Speaker 4: the top of top ten messy is White Woman moments?
Speaker 3: Remember when Fergie was on like the Today Show and
Speaker 3: she was doing one armed flips.
Speaker 4: I said, wow, mama at seven am and every and
Speaker 4: she was in those American apparel lake Ticks pants and
Speaker 4: and of course that and it was like, Babe, if
Speaker 4: y'all don't think this is meth, I don't know what
Speaker 4: else is.
Speaker 5: But I love that she's pissed her pants. She's done weird.
Speaker 5: You've seen the picture of her pants?
Speaker 1: Have you missed this? I didn't know that. That's just
Speaker 1: piss everywhere. She pissed her pants. What happened? There has
Speaker 1: to be a story. You don't your pants stage? She
Speaker 1: pissed her pants? You know what.
Speaker 2: I've been there.
Speaker 1: I have not pissed on my pants, but a little,
Speaker 1: a little has come out, for sure, Yes, it has
Speaker 1: happened to me. Have you seen the Hillary Good Morning America?
Speaker 1: She danced and she's eating it up. This is the audience.
Speaker 3: They're doing that like dance kids are redoing that on
Speaker 3: TikTok and they're making it seem so much better.
Speaker 4: Yes, Mary Beth and Benny they do it when they
Speaker 4: open up their podcast when they do it live, and they.
Speaker 1: Sent her and raise your voice. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you've never seen that. No is that a white man
Speaker 1: niche moment? No, everybody, it's okay. I'm talking from like.
Speaker 5: Gay Instagram, a senior raise your Voice ship movie that
Speaker 5: makes no sense. I want to be a singer and
Speaker 5: go to school. She's except the summer.
Speaker 1: School aims there singer saved the last.
Speaker 5: It's like yeah, but then her brother died a car
Speaker 5: as that in the end, like that's the whole thing
Speaker 5: abut her brother away.
Speaker 1: So she makes it to this school and everyone's going over.
Speaker 5: Aiden from Sex and City is their teacher, and they're
Speaker 5: going over like you know these notes. So then she
Speaker 5: stands up and she starts and she didn't and John
Speaker 5: really says, there's a lot of shoulder acting.
Speaker 1: So you're just and then they just use another woman's
Speaker 1: voice like it's she ends up and going yeah yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: and the class is like, I'm like it is fully
Speaker 1: three women singing for her keys never seen that.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, we got you're they're probably gonna have
Speaker 5: to cut this out. But who gives his ship first
Speaker 5: of all, shoulder acting.
Speaker 1: Look at her hair, sweat, look at the bangs. It's
Speaker 1: six women's voices. No, no, no, that's another voice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: another voice. That's her. That's her, and they're now a
Speaker 1: new woman. Oh that's not her fault. Yeah, it's it's back.
Speaker 1: Six of the voices were good. I'm here for the work.
Speaker 1: All of them were, they felt, they felt vegan. The
Speaker 1: fourth one when she twists her head.
Speaker 4: You know when you have like an itch and you're like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: she said, wait, you said Julia Stoules, No.
Speaker 1: She's no, I didn't.
Speaker 4: I mean in the movie she was messy, which one
Speaker 4: say the last day the dance. That was a movie
Speaker 4: thing though that, but we're talking real life.
Speaker 1: In real life, real life from no No, I think
Speaker 1: she went away, if she was sent away from the
Speaker 1: dance Julliard Juilliard.
Speaker 4: But it was a moment in time, and I think
Speaker 4: we needed that for for no one for now, to
Speaker 4: make fun of it during the time. I think that
Speaker 4: that movie let everyone knows like you don't have to
Speaker 4: dance well and it.
Speaker 1: Actually, yes, you don't have to dance. You have to
Speaker 1: dance well to get to Julia in a movie.
Speaker 3: That's my favorite part when she's in the chair, clap
Speaker 3: under her she does, that's a messy white woman. They're like,
Speaker 3: they're like because they because it turns into hip hop ballet.
Speaker 2: That's a messy white woman. The lady from Australia at.
Speaker 1: The Olympics, oh god, she was the moment.
Speaker 4: But she's Australian though. That's that's separate from you know,
Speaker 4: we're talking about America there.
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about American I'm talking about.
Speaker 2: White women in general.
Speaker 3: All right, I'm getting this to America, like we don't
Speaker 3: have international listener.
Speaker 1: I mean, oh that's right, hated hip Hawk Johnson. This
Speaker 1: is I grew up. Mine's more influenced Bart the Kangaroo.
Speaker 1: They're messy all over the world. Will I want to
Speaker 1: know the process of her being like you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it, and she got in here's the process.
Speaker 1: No one else in Australia was doing.
Speaker 5: That's because if anybody else had done it, they'd be like, bitch,
Speaker 5: get out of here. But they were like, well, technically
Speaker 5: she's not not doing.
Speaker 3: They're like, you're on the team since you're the only
Speaker 3: one that showed up. And then she was like, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna leave my warm warm up stuck in.
Speaker 5: It's like everyone's making for that white lady from the
Speaker 5: nights when we're like and when you hip hop dance,
Speaker 5: she loved.
Speaker 1: Yes, she's on the list messy white woman because she
Speaker 1: redid it recently. She did and she looks good too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she made her bang shorter and she's like, how
Speaker 2: did it come from?
Speaker 1: And it comes from the bottom and then you bring
Speaker 1: it up the jazz. The jazz comes up from the leg.
Speaker 1: I mean, no one dances quite like sit at karaoke video.
Speaker 2: Yeah I think that I I too, am a messy
Speaker 2: white woman within within Sydney feels the music at karaoke
Speaker 2: in a way that no one.
Speaker 1: Else does, not as much as Amina singing. Kelly Clarkson will.
Speaker 2: Be on the floor.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Mina's not getting on the ground. What would happened?
Speaker 1: That was a wig? Remember we were we at the
Speaker 1: first time karaoking The video going like this back and forth.
Speaker 4: Oh yes, I mean, I'm full I'm full body karaokeing.
Speaker 2: It's not just the voice.
Speaker 1: Oh I have the best video of you karaoking.
Speaker 4: You put the oh yes, because we were in a
Speaker 4: really dark room and I was like, where's the lights,
Speaker 4: where's the visuals?
Speaker 5: She took she took her phone and flashed under her chin.
Speaker 5: So Sid turns into another person.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, well you know, she turns into six Hillary Duffs.
Speaker 4: I lived with the not lived with, But I had
Speaker 4: the best upbringing by white women in college throughout all
Speaker 4: of my twenties.
Speaker 1: Not upbringing. How did they raise your friends? Oh?
Speaker 4: They raised me from the They raised me with their
Speaker 4: own tit. They taught you how to respect. Yes, Oh
Speaker 4: they were the first ones that showed me soco.
Speaker 1: Lime in college? What SoC lime? That southern? Co Li
Speaker 1: and Lin.
Speaker 2: I feel like black people taught me that.
Speaker 1: I don't know what southern? Is that a drink? I
Speaker 1: don't drink. Yeah, even when I.
Speaker 5: Did drink, I don't What were you drinking when you well,
Speaker 5: when you first start drinking. At first it was like
Speaker 5: beer and.
Speaker 4: One was Mike's Heart lemonade. Then it was zema, remember
Speaker 4: malt liquor baby.
Speaker 5: Remember Lauren Lawrence had a great joke about zenas. Because
Speaker 5: everyone enjoying their zemas, it was clear.
Speaker 4: It looked like it could be sprite, and then you
Speaker 4: taste that it was a malt liquor. It was clear, Yeah,
Speaker 4: it was clear.
Speaker 1: Was a clear.
Speaker 3: It was lightly carbonated alcoholic beverage with four point seven
Speaker 3: to five alcohol.
Speaker 1: That's a lot. That's like a beer. That's the thing.
Speaker 1: It was like, it's hard to explain because you can
Speaker 1: feel the essence of beer in the take, but it's
Speaker 1: not because beer now feels like you're just eating.
Speaker 2: Like I was from course night of course brewing beer.
Speaker 1: Oh smirnoff.
Speaker 3: I feel like was my first smart off ice was good? Yeah,
Speaker 3: smartoff ice. I remember the first activated The first time
Speaker 3: I ever got drunk. I was in some Haitian people's
Speaker 3: backyard and I was like fifteen.
Speaker 1: I was like fifteen and I was like sixteen or fifty.
Speaker 3: I had never gotten drunk before, so I was just
Speaker 3: drinking and I got whoo blackout drunk. And I was
Speaker 3: a block away from my house and my friends were like, well,
Speaker 3: we got to take you home, and I was like,
Speaker 3: I can't go.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get in trouble. And they were like, well
Speaker 2: you can't stay here.
Speaker 3: I'm like they put me in the car, I jump out,
Speaker 3: they put me in, I jump out, they locked it.
Speaker 1: I jump out the window.
Speaker 2: They put the child locks on and then they do.
Speaker 3: So my friend is driving me home and I opened
Speaker 3: the door finally when we get to my house and
Speaker 3: I fall out of the car and my dad was
Speaker 3: in the window watching me fall.
Speaker 1: Well, he so this.
Speaker 2: My My brother's friend was across the street and he
Speaker 2: was like, is that murray?
Speaker 3: And he comes to get me and we sit on
Speaker 3: the stoop and my dad opens the door behind me
Speaker 3: and my friend runs away and I was like, no
Speaker 3: one can see me. And I got drunk. I hit
Speaker 3: behind a bush and my dad was like, I can
Speaker 3: see you. And then it was like, well now I'm peeing.
Speaker 1: So yes, that was happened.
Speaker 4: When I had Mike Mike's Heart lemonade, I had two
Speaker 4: of them back to back, and I was holding my
Speaker 4: pee because we were drinking on the roof and then
Speaker 4: it was off the roof. No no, no, no no no,
Speaker 4: because I didn't because then we had to go in
Speaker 4: the house. And then her parents like could tell that
Speaker 4: something was up. So I was like, I'm just gonna
Speaker 4: go home, and then I ended up going downstairs and
Speaker 4: I'm not going to hold.
Speaker 1: This pee to get to the train. So I peed
Speaker 1: on eighth Street like ray eighth a street, and Soho
Speaker 1: I peed right in Soho.
Speaker 4: I peed in Soho when Soho wasn't really Soho. You
Speaker 4: know when Soho and so had no hope. Well, I
Speaker 4: was the hope for Soo.
Speaker 1: So I was.
Speaker 4: I was so hoeing and hoeing and peeing in the street.
Speaker 4: It was I mean it was the peace smelled sweet too.
Speaker 4: The p had a little kick to it. Wait another
Speaker 4: another Betty White, No, no mind, what a nice old lady?
Speaker 1: Did she died recently? Yeah, she died, Yeah, like Christmas down,
Speaker 1: you know, a couple of years ago. I know what
Speaker 1: was messy.
Speaker 4: Someoney was like, didn't meme that, like Betty White, You're
Speaker 4: not going to end the year with us, and then
Speaker 4: she died.
Speaker 1: I was like, why would you put that negativity out there?
Speaker 1: What are She was like, yeah, Marilyn Monroe, I feel
Speaker 1: bad a situation where it's like too I mean, too
Speaker 1: many people taking advantage of Yes. Absolutely, there was an
Speaker 1: interview that she did where it was kind of cool.
Speaker 5: She was like she was talking about how she was
Speaker 5: walking with one of her friends and she goes, you
Speaker 5: want to see what happens when they put Marylyn on,
Speaker 5: they go okay, And she changed her body and changed
Speaker 5: how she walked and changed, and they were from no
Speaker 5: one stopping them in the streets to crowds of people
Speaker 5: around them. It was like she could turn it on
Speaker 5: at Marylyn because we listened to some interviews with her,
Speaker 5: she was very down to earth and very.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Norma jean Or bargine.
Speaker 5: Surgery to at that time, they did in her nose Maryland. Yeah,
Speaker 5: she had plastic surgery.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I watched the whole thing about it. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Well they did a phenomenal job. I couldn't even little stuff.
Speaker 5: I mean, they're not what they can do today, but
Speaker 5: they changed part of her nose and her chin.
Speaker 1: It's like the beginning of plastic surgery. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I think her I think people who are excluded from Yes,
Speaker 4: they did mess but I think it also like the
Speaker 4: industry ruined them. Her Anna Nicole Smith, I mean, but
Speaker 4: Anna Nicole really knew how to make it comical.
Speaker 1: She was funny and then it got sad. Yeah. The
Speaker 1: last year that trim Spy years Trim trim.
Speaker 2: Messy was trim Spot. The original OZEMPI no.
Speaker 5: I think was just like along a bunch of lines
Speaker 5: of like diet products. Yeah, I don't know if it
Speaker 5: was like caffeine, like sped.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it did. I don't know what
Speaker 1: trim spot did.
Speaker 3: But it's the original flat Tommy t It was flat,
Speaker 3: was mL laxative.
Speaker 1: It just made you get everything out. Oh yeah, and
Speaker 1: then you were like, no, I'm skinny up.
Speaker 4: I think that they would have like ambassadors that are like, oh,
Speaker 4: I'm trendspot, but they actually had a whole bunch of
Speaker 4: plastic surgery and like light bulb and stuff.
Speaker 1: So you don't really know.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, anytime a celebrity endorses something at that
Speaker 5: level a lot, you're getting paid a lot.
Speaker 1: Wait, was Ricky Lake messy? Her show was show was messy?
Speaker 1: She wasn't messy.
Speaker 5: I don't know much about her her, but she did.
Speaker 5: She became famous from Hairspray. Then she had the Ricky
Speaker 5: Lake Show.
Speaker 1: Wait, she was she was some more kind.
Speaker 2: She was a really kind host.
Speaker 1: She wasn't she acted like she didn't know what was
Speaker 1: going on. Yes, everything would happened to you go and
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, but she was one of us. I'm shocked.
Speaker 1: You're shocked. We all shot. I'm in my earpiece, like now,
Speaker 1: bring out the husband. What was the messiest show?
Speaker 3: Was it?
Speaker 1: Ricky Lake? Jenny Jones? This is a trick question. Yes
Speaker 1: it is Jenny Jones, Jerry Springer or Sally Jesse Raphael.
Speaker 3: I didn't watch Sally and I didn't I don't remember
Speaker 3: what Jenny Jones was talking about.
Speaker 1: Jenny Jones is a mess because someone got murdered after
Speaker 1: her show.
Speaker 4: Wasn't it about someone not coming out or like somebody
Speaker 4: with Yeah.
Speaker 1: Something about being gay and then someone got killed. That
Speaker 1: she really scary? Huh, Jenny Jones, Yes, girl, it's still
Speaker 1: scary to be gay.
Speaker 2: Well, we're not down with it.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry some. When I say some, I'm saying it's fine.
Speaker 1: Being gay is cool. Now being straight is gross.
Speaker 4: I don't know, I think it all. I'm I need
Speaker 4: there needs to be more a sexual awareness. And where
Speaker 4: are the asexuals out? Please come out there in the house.
Speaker 1: No, they need to come out. Why they need to
Speaker 1: come out their home banging? Nobody exactly, But I need
Speaker 1: more like out and proud asexuals. You know, they need it.
Speaker 4: They need a new pr whist, They need more coming cool,
Speaker 4: asexuals coming out being proud that they're not banging anybody.
Speaker 4: They look good, they smell good, they're working hard, so
Speaker 4: maybe that they can sell it.
Speaker 1: Maybe more people need to be asexual. You know what,
Speaker 1: Sidney start the movement. I did this speech.
Speaker 4: I was a sexual for about five years. I'm not
Speaker 4: going to say what years it was, but yeah, that
Speaker 4: was yeah hite, not having any banging of the coochies
Speaker 4: at all. So yeah, and when I would say I
Speaker 4: think I'm a sexual, people like that feels sad.
Speaker 1: So I don't think they wouldn't say that.
Speaker 2: They were saying that.
Speaker 1: They're like, you're asexual and you're sober and you're gay. God, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't remember if I said that, but I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm not mad at that.
Speaker 1: Material. Let's get it to you.
Speaker 2: So do you have any uh, you know, top five
Speaker 2: messy moments for yourself?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 5: My first, yes, I am a very messy white woman.
Speaker 5: But one being when I was young and I drank
Speaker 5: for the first time. I remember my friend Chuck, his
Speaker 5: older brother, got us a bunch of Mike's hard lemonades.
Speaker 1: And what happened is I was with my friend Caesar
Speaker 1: Chuck Chuck, Yeah, a young It was Dani's.
Speaker 5: Girl named Veronica, and I was like fifteen or sixteen,
Speaker 5: drinking Mike's hard lemonade. And then because I just didn't
Speaker 5: know you, just like you said, you just drank, so
Speaker 5: I drank like too much vodka straight yeah, and all
Speaker 5: I remember was like speaking Spanish with Veronica in the
Speaker 5: backyard at the table. And then I woke up in
Speaker 5: Mark's house somehow like the next morning, and Shrek was
Speaker 5: on and I was like what happened. Mark's like, okay,
Speaker 5: you passed out, and then Caesar recorded it, and so
Speaker 5: they called me awful. It's funny now they called it
Speaker 5: fetus and like I was like throwing up in Chuck's
Speaker 5: mom's car, and then they like had to clean it up,
Speaker 5: and Marks the brother had to come and help clean.
Speaker 5: And then they were like calling my sister like is
Speaker 5: he usually like this? She's like I don't fucking know,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean? Like she's like I'm drunk too.
Speaker 5: And then the next day we woke up. Mark took
Speaker 5: me to a Panera bread on Halsteed Street, which isn't
Speaker 5: even there anymore in Chicago.
Speaker 2: What a nice mic, we need more mics out here.
Speaker 1: Well and oh didn't do it.
Speaker 5: But then we went to a water park that day
Speaker 5: and then we all got kicked out for mooning each other.
Speaker 2: Oh, like, how I'm gonna get in trouble on the
Speaker 2: train later with this ripping my pants? I can't believe
Speaker 2: that happening.
Speaker 1: Marie came. She's like, I ripped my pants. These are
Speaker 1: really cute pants. To make sure these pants there, but
Speaker 1: it's right on the scene so I can sew it
Speaker 1: me or someone else.
Speaker 2: So you're gonna go home and sew them immediately, maybe.
Speaker 1: Because I'm gonna wear these to the show to do
Speaker 1: you know how to sew? Yes? I remember I knew
Speaker 1: how to.
Speaker 5: I used to know how all the way up to
Speaker 5: the You're gonna walk out here just in a courset, Marie.
Speaker 1: You had a pant ask girls as listen, who needs
Speaker 1: a B B L? When you just built? Like Marie
Speaker 1: shut coming back from Brazil Colombia, Marie.
Speaker 2: We didn't even get into your mess. What was yours
Speaker 2: for the week?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 3: Is this messy or is this just living? So I've
Speaker 3: unblocked two men from my past and and uh, I'm
Speaker 3: not trying to be with either of them. But if
Speaker 3: you're listening.
Speaker 1: Yell.
Speaker 5: On Real Housewives and like, I don't want anyone to
Speaker 5: know this, but like, bitch, you're on TV and.
Speaker 1: It's like your record. I'm whispering about it because I
Speaker 1: don't want them to hear.
Speaker 3: But yeah, yeah, yeah, unblocked two people, and you know
Speaker 3: both of them, you know, the last two the most prominent,
Speaker 3: and I think each of them is trying to impress
Speaker 3: me in their own way.
Speaker 1: And between the two of them, I have one good
Speaker 1: man that's hot living because she's playing game show hosts
Speaker 1: every week. See what could justin number one? And then
Speaker 1: you're like challenge, I challenge you to a duel, to
Speaker 1: a duel, Well, who will have the best date idea
Speaker 1: and come pick me up within the next thirty minutes.
Speaker 3: Well, this guy, one of them, messaged me last week
Speaker 3: and he was like, hey, are you free this week?
Speaker 3: And I was like, yeah, I might be for you
Speaker 3: on Thursday. Try to keep it loose, you know, And
Speaker 3: he was like, if I are you cool with surprises,
Speaker 3: can I send a car to come.
Speaker 1: Pick you up at seventh I.
Speaker 2: Do not search surprises.
Speaker 1: I do not like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you like the suspense I need to know what's
Speaker 2: going on. I'm like what, I said, Well, can I
Speaker 2: get a hint? What do I need to wear?
Speaker 1: And he said nothing, nothing.
Speaker 5: To nothing walking naked? So these are the perfect girl.
Speaker 1: What if he picks you up, takes you somewhere, and
Speaker 1: then proposes.
Speaker 5: What you're not circumstances proposes I haven't seen this person
Speaker 5: in month, That's exactly that's a reason to propose.
Speaker 1: Hey, why did not see you? I want you back, baby.
Speaker 1: Here's the ring.
Speaker 3: That's a reason for me to light I propose, Sydney,
Speaker 3: he didn't hit you up? Hey, which one of these rings?
Speaker 3: Would Marie like?
Speaker 2: Sydney's like this one?
Speaker 1: Would you like to carrot car? I'm not doing this?
Speaker 1: What kind of what kind of shape? I want one
Speaker 1: of the j Lo rings? Really?
Speaker 2: She has five or six times?
Speaker 1: Has she been engag She's like a super Bowl of divorce.
Speaker 1: She's the theanos of you said, Pantos is a much
Speaker 1: better it's a much better metaphorus. Yes, So she snaps
Speaker 1: and her marriage is over. She snaps, and Ben Affleck
Speaker 1: is back with Jennifer Garner. That was the one he
Speaker 1: really loves Jennifer Gardner. I don't know who she doesn't
Speaker 1: want him back. Why he loves Matt Damon. I met
Speaker 1: Matt Damon. One said the seller was he tall? No,
Speaker 1: but he was very very nice. Him and his wife.
Speaker 1: They had a couple of drinks, but they were really
Speaker 1: really sweet and they were watching the show their friends
Speaker 1: with Tom Papa, so we all ate dinner to It
Speaker 1: was so weird.
Speaker 2: And Jelina Jolie, I think she's on the cusp of
Speaker 2: mess I saw an interview of her last night.
Speaker 3: She was on the Tonight Show, one of them shows,
Speaker 3: and she was like, I don't do late night shows.
Speaker 2: This is the first one I've done in decades, for
Speaker 2: a decade.
Speaker 1: What brought her out? She has a new Maria carlas Maria.
Speaker 1: She's playing with Maria.
Speaker 2: Oh that's stunning. Is she's singing for real?
Speaker 5: Lord, she learned how to sing, but they do most
Speaker 5: of the mixing, so I think it's like ninety percent
Speaker 5: Maria's voice. But the public moments where she's like, yeah,
Speaker 5: Maria was losing her.
Speaker 1: And that's the time. Yeah, yeah, I think it, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. No gift Chudring Barra.
Speaker 4: I think Angelina Jolie's messiest moment was when she was
Speaker 4: with Billy Bob.
Speaker 5: Billy Bob brother, but they was wearing Billy's blood on
Speaker 5: the red carpet and he was wearing hers and the necklace.
Speaker 3: Remember yes, but that makes sense. Her her and Billy Bob.
Speaker 3: To me was like, girl, why are you with him?
Speaker 3: He looks like a tow truck.
Speaker 1: But you got to have that moment.
Speaker 4: Every every girl has that moment in her life where
Speaker 4: they look back and they're like, I don't know what
Speaker 4: that grimlin I was dating. We all have one person
Speaker 4: that were like whoo she and I know she had
Speaker 4: a ball, you know what I'm saying. She was wearing
Speaker 4: like sleeveless tank tops. She she was giving stem like
Speaker 4: she's stunning. Yeah she was, but she was also giving
Speaker 4: like grungy lesbian vines and they were like making out
Speaker 4: on the red carpet.
Speaker 1: That's life, that's exciting. She was married to him.
Speaker 5: They were married because she changed when she did tomb
Speaker 5: Raider and she met her first son and she adopted him,
Speaker 5: and then that's when she was like, never mind, I'm
Speaker 5: gonna just be more of a humanitarian and family.
Speaker 1: And likeli, yeah, I like her too.
Speaker 2: The pipeline to kissing your brother to you menitar.
Speaker 1: Kissing of the brother. It was very sirs, Lanister, you're
Speaker 1: not messy, I'm not Lanister. Is a very messy white woman.
Speaker 4: Oh, Sarah Jessica Parker not messy. But Carrie Bradshaw the messy. No,
Speaker 4: we are actually putting her number one as messiest white
Speaker 4: woman on record.
Speaker 1: There were so many seasons, and it was all of
Speaker 1: the red flags, like you're not getting dog while he's
Speaker 1: redoing her walk to make out you're mess.
Speaker 4: Girl, leaving your best friend who just had a baby
Speaker 4: to go meet the man who barely cares about you
Speaker 4: before he moves.
Speaker 1: I'm like, girl, the baby just came out to CoA.
Speaker 1: The placenta is still on his eyebro.
Speaker 3: You're like, I gotta go. Yeah, but I mean to
Speaker 3: be fair. Her water broke on her new shoes, so
Speaker 3: I would leave my friend too.
Speaker 1: Gotta go.
Speaker 4: Girl asking Charlotte, hey, can you give up your ring
Speaker 4: so I can afford my apartment?
Speaker 2: That wild She's stormed over there.
Speaker 1: Like it would be the money.
Speaker 5: Charlotte didn't need that fucking apartment. Charlotte's a big Charlotte's
Speaker 5: not a mess, but she's annoying. Hold on now, I wait,
Speaker 5: standing right here, Wait what Charlotte? Yes, how many bees
Speaker 5: are left in this colony? This is just Sydney and Charlotte,
Speaker 5: tell me, tell me your reasoning why she's a mess.
Speaker 5: She's like forty years old in there at breakfast and
Speaker 5: then she's like, keegle, what's that is that?
Speaker 1: Wait?
Speaker 5: Does it Alasa Trego joke? That might be That's why
Speaker 5: I know this. She was not shout out to Tregger.
Speaker 5: If that's a Lisa Treger joke, it actually might be.
Speaker 1: But she was right.
Speaker 5: She talks about Charlotte, but Charlotte, this is my friend
Speaker 5: pat power side. Charlotte should have a hand next to
Speaker 5: her face so that every time she talks it slaps her.
Speaker 1: She just says, such stupid ship. It's not stupid. She
Speaker 1: was sheltered and some people are sheltered and she was
Speaker 1: out in Manhattan. Yeah, man a divorce, getting it apart.
Speaker 1: She was not shelter.
Speaker 3: Want to be fair, Keegels were invented in nineteen ninety nine,
Speaker 3: so maybe that's why she didn't know what they were.
Speaker 1: Suzanne Summers invented them with the time Master.
Speaker 3: Carrie Bradshaw really was the messiest because she didn't have
Speaker 3: no life savings. She had no money, but she and
Speaker 3: I think her rent because I'm rewatching the series now,
Speaker 3: her rent was like nine hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: For that apartment. Yeah, in the village. That was the time.
Speaker 1: It was it was the ninety nines.
Speaker 2: We missed those days.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was mayor at that time. Rudy Giuliani. Damn,
Speaker 1: do we need to bring them back? City said bring
Speaker 1: back Giuliani, so her rent could be no day's back.
Speaker 1: You want gays being what do you want? She wants
Speaker 1: low rent base.
Speaker 4: I just want to be able to afford an apartment
Speaker 4: without like pretending to be somebody else on paper.
Speaker 1: Way, before we end this, let me ask if that's
Speaker 1: Lisa's joke.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you should also Carrie Bradshaw going to Paris with
Speaker 4: this like abusive artist.
Speaker 1: I had no chemistry.
Speaker 5: No, I hated facetiming. Yeah, to ask, I swear to
Speaker 5: God that that's her jokes. We got to give credit work.
Speaker 5: Credit was not going to pick up. I bet she's
Speaker 5: there's Lisa. Is your joke Lisa where you're like about
Speaker 5: sex and the city and then you say, like Charlotte's
Speaker 5: like four years old, She's like, what's.
Speaker 1: A key goal.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, because I said it, I instinctively said I
Speaker 5: hated Charlotte and then I said that, I go, wait
Speaker 5: a minute, that's Lisa Trigger who said that.
Speaker 1: So then I had to call you, budd. He was like,
Speaker 1: she doesn't know anything. Wait, Lisa, while we have you here,
Speaker 1: we have a special, a special special guest.
Speaker 2: Top three messiest white women of all time?
Speaker 1: Cool? What pops into mind?
Speaker 2: Since you know quick FaceTime, I'm gonna say Courtney love.
Speaker 1: Britney spears. Okay. We discussed that that's it. They're the
Speaker 1: word miss. That's a product. Ye, And then it could
Speaker 1: be it.
Speaker 2: Could be, and we took we took Anna Nicole Smith
Speaker 2: out as well.
Speaker 1: Who gets arrested? Because I love Lindsey to all these
Speaker 1: people have bad parents.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and Lindsay really made a comeback. She's never looked
Speaker 5: better than that. She looks now face.
Speaker 1: Looks so good. Oh, I guess the Real Housewives. Now
Speaker 1: that I'm looking at my friends like Son Morgan. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember Son. I remember I remember serving her when
Speaker 1: I used to work at the Rose Bar.
Speaker 4: And when I tell you that woman would come in
Speaker 4: with a cardigan flipped flipped curls and was ready to go.
Speaker 4: She was one of those people that were like, I'm
Speaker 4: not going to get dressed up, but I'm going to
Speaker 4: get every man in here.
Speaker 1: And she did we call you, We'll call you past
Speaker 1: son Oh yeah, I met.
Speaker 4: Sonya before she was on the show, and she came
Speaker 4: in with drunk maybe MELODYE.
Speaker 1: Griffith. I know one once and.
Speaker 5: I don't know who was the country singer. Who is
Speaker 5: that white girl who was saying uh and no kyote ugly? Yeah,
Speaker 5: she's messy?
Speaker 2: Is Leon Rhymes the one who stole that her husband
Speaker 2: from somebody else?
Speaker 1: Eddie and I don't want to see Eddie. It was
Speaker 1: the worst stealing, you know. It was a man in
Speaker 1: a enyclopedia of Mets White.
Speaker 2: For your contribution, we.
Speaker 5: Love you, love you bye. That's a comics thing. You
Speaker 5: got a credit comics. You know when you say something like, wait,
Speaker 5: I've heard that before. That's lie'sa tragger.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you have a good memory, so you remembers.
Speaker 5: And I also were on the road together for an
Speaker 5: entire year doing the worst comedy clubs in America, bombing
Speaker 5: every single night.
Speaker 1: What year was this, twenty sixteen? Okay, this was a
Speaker 1: long time. Oh, my god again with the audience. But
Speaker 1: I knew her whole hour. She knew my whole hour.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, friendship time we were in Seattle, Leeds was
Speaker 5: getting to fight with this woman in the audience, and
Speaker 5: she was standing be cause she's fighting her. And then
Speaker 5: the fire alarm went off and we all had to leave.
Speaker 5: And as we're leaving, the host is handing out his mixtape.
Speaker 5: Then we all go outside, the fire trucks come, they
Speaker 5: say it's fine. Then we all had to go back
Speaker 5: in the audience sat right back down. Lisa gets and
Speaker 5: say the woman continued heckling her.
Speaker 4: No, after all you've been through, Lisa should have been
Speaker 4: tyree on the what more than you want from me?
Speaker 4: Where was Seattle?
Speaker 1: I had such a good time. It was a suburb
Speaker 1: of Seattle. Was in a comedy club, like forty minutes
Speaker 1: outside the city.
Speaker 3: Well, I would be angry too if I lived outside
Speaker 3: a small if I lived near Gray's Anatomy and it's
Speaker 3: always raining.
Speaker 1: And no one came to see it, no one. We
Speaker 1: couldn't sell tickets. And look at you now selling seats
Speaker 1: every single thing else, selling everything I was selling you.
Speaker 4: I mean, you're going to be new York Times bestseller
Speaker 4: for sure. Mateo, what's something that you would never sell?
Speaker 1: Something I would never sell, like a product? Yeah, what's
Speaker 1: something that you wouldn't I don't know, something that hurts people,
Speaker 1: something that hurt people. Yeah, you wouldn't.
Speaker 2: You wouldn't be a part of that.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine? Yeah, you imagine Gates for gun. I
Speaker 1: could see you on that. I can see you in
Speaker 1: the campaign Gates for Guns. Yes, work a K forty seven,
Speaker 1: you sitting right on it and you then eating some pasta.
Speaker 1: You're like people ask me every day how I get
Speaker 1: these abs? Trim spot baby, flet me. I want make
Speaker 1: my movie. No, we have messages. Should we get into
Speaker 1: that about these? Wow? Yeah, we have some messages we
Speaker 1: need to read that listeners have sent in. Okay, here
Speaker 1: we go.
Speaker 4: My mess is that I'm I'm a retired prostitute age
Speaker 4: twenty five ish.
Speaker 1: Whoa you wait out the game early? Yes?
Speaker 2: Read the sentence again. I'm a retired prostitute. Yes, age
Speaker 2: twenty five ish.
Speaker 1: Wow. And my ex pimp, age fifty ish is requesting
Speaker 1: that I come back to him.
Speaker 4: But I feel like it's a trap. Oh you don't say,
Speaker 4: he says, he wants to build with me the right way.
Speaker 4: He wants us to make legal money and live a
Speaker 4: life together in a square, a square in a square,
Speaker 4: normal non illegal relationship.
Speaker 2: He's calling like, you know, a healthy living life square.
Speaker 1: He's double your age, babe, and you just said you're retired.
Speaker 4: But he maybe she'll come back out the game. I
Speaker 4: haven't seen him in person in years. We don't live
Speaker 4: in the same state. Wait, hold on, so you're gonna travel, you're.
Speaker 1: Gonna travel, Let me let me read.
Speaker 2: Okay, I've moved on and changed my life for the better.
Speaker 1: Amen.
Speaker 4: He is in my past, but I'm conflicted. Okay, what
Speaker 4: is they know there is a catch? No, I thought
Speaker 4: I was gonna I'm waiting for her to be like
Speaker 4: the cat she is. No, she says, I know there
Speaker 4: is a catch. Well, maybe does he honestly miss me?
Speaker 4: Or maybe he's trying to use me and trap me.
Speaker 5: Girl Friends, I think if your instincts are that someone
Speaker 5: might be trying to use you and trap you, it's
Speaker 5: best to keep them completely out of your life and
Speaker 5: have people only in your life that you don't second guess.
Speaker 2: But also, I've moved on and changed my life for
Speaker 2: the better.
Speaker 5: And in a different state, and here we are probably
Speaker 5: and here we are with a message coming to us,
Speaker 5: so we've not moved on fully.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 5: I think it's about getting some self confidence. You gotta
Speaker 5: believe in yourself.
Speaker 1: You gotta be strong, and you gotta set boundaries and
Speaker 1: not let people in your life that are gonna make
Speaker 1: you double guess yourself.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I remember an old manager of mine text me and
Speaker 4: was like, Hey, we're opening up a bar, would love
Speaker 4: to know if you would like to, like, you know,
Speaker 4: come in.
Speaker 2: And I said, what, Like.
Speaker 1: When was this? I'm like two years ago? I was
Speaker 1: like a two days ago. It's like it's my career
Speaker 1: doing that bad where you're like, hey, I think you
Speaker 1: need to sling some bottles. Now I saw you.
Speaker 2: I saw you on a thing on NETFLI it looked
Speaker 2: really bad.
Speaker 1: You should come in just.
Speaker 5: An elementary and that you're nominated for an Emmy. Do
Speaker 5: you think you could come in at five pm on Tuesday?
Speaker 1: You don't want to?
Speaker 3: I see you just want to WGA Award. Do you
Speaker 3: want to swing by and do a double this weekend?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: No, that was really scary. Moments I was like am
Speaker 4: I am I doing good? Or am I doing bad?
Speaker 1: I have no idea.
Speaker 2: Well, my question about this, this listener letter is why
Speaker 2: not starting OnlyFans and.
Speaker 1: Then you get to keep all your money? Babe? Yeah,
Speaker 1: why are you?
Speaker 2: What is this person adding to your life?
Speaker 5: That's not that I'm just saying this person. If you
Speaker 5: have any kind of gut feeling about someone in your
Speaker 5: life that's not good, just take them out.
Speaker 1: Why avoid the inevitable?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think we're at it at the age. Well,
Speaker 4: she's twenty five ish.
Speaker 1: Twenty five that means thirty, That means thirty, so that's years.
Speaker 4: I think that if you are in a in a
Speaker 4: state of like having to add ask all these questions,
Speaker 4: you probably shouldn't need to do it. Because if I'm
Speaker 4: thinking too much about the what ifs, that means that
Speaker 4: I don't have definite answers. And in my time, in
Speaker 4: my life, I need to know for sure when I
Speaker 4: step out my house is it going to be worth it?
Speaker 2: Am I making money? Am I having a good time?
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, hold on, hold on, hold on?
Speaker 3: Does he honestly miss me or is he trying to
Speaker 3: use me and trap me? Or is his old ash
Speaker 3: truthfully done living that lifestyle? And why do I feel
Speaker 3: myself missing him. We video called the other day for
Speaker 3: the first time in a long time, and I forgot
Speaker 3: how good he looked, and how smooth his voice sounded,
Speaker 3: and how beautiful his green eyes were.
Speaker 1: About the heart, bitch, you should have dropped a photo.
Speaker 1: You can't say all of.
Speaker 3: This and then don't let us know what this man
Speaker 3: is looking like for real. I see green eyes and
Speaker 3: I'm like, that's a white man or a light skinned
Speaker 3: guy with some green eyes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a drag with green eyes.
Speaker 1: Send us a picture of him. Yeah, we No, she
Speaker 1: didn't mention anything about who he is. She said.
Speaker 5: He says skin is smooth, so okay, this is just
Speaker 5: the movie and his skin as white as snow.
Speaker 1: She lives in the far Oh.
Speaker 3: My god, let me tell you we didn't even talk
Speaker 3: about this. You Italian, and the assassinator guy is also Italian?
Speaker 1: Luis, how do you feel about that? He's really beautiful.
Speaker 1: But the thing is I would even if he didn't.
Speaker 5: All the Italian comments are like, yo, that wasn't him,
Speaker 5: but he was cooking at my cousin's house.
Speaker 1: He was making sauce on Sunday.
Speaker 5: And then they're like, he only got arrested because he
Speaker 5: called a gravy instead of sauce. Like, this is the
Speaker 5: weirdest thing that it's like kind of brought so many
Speaker 5: people together will be like, well, there's been some people
Speaker 5: online who have kind of made this as something it's not.
Speaker 5: It's a terrible tragedy, and the rest of us are.
Speaker 4: Like, okay, is it a tragedy? But the thing is,
Speaker 4: I don't even think it matters that he's attractive. I
Speaker 4: think people were going to be on this bandwagon of.
Speaker 1: Like, but then he comes out and he's fucking Aladdin.
Speaker 1: I mean he's hot. We had those brows. Wait, looks
Speaker 1: like he just looks like was Aladdin? Italian? Italian?
Speaker 9: And the king man, say Luca Mario said, did I
Speaker 9: watch the rite Aladdin?
Speaker 1: You know principal was Italian. I want to make about
Speaker 1: sick wee. I wish it to be nobody. Yes, Olivia,
Speaker 1: did you find a way to play it the control booth?
Speaker 6: Pas it?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, let's hear yeah.
Speaker 8: And Marie Sydney here from.
Speaker 1: So is this mentor just living?
Speaker 8: So I was talking to this dude, he slit in
Speaker 8: mind the ends and like first baby like gorgeous. I
Speaker 8: would love to take you out to this Christmas bard.
Speaker 1: We have in town.
Speaker 8: I was like, okay, cool, Like we hit it off instantly,
Speaker 8: started having great conversation or whatever. We went out on
Speaker 8: our friend day, had a great time and everything was
Speaker 8: going well. And in the midst of us having a
Speaker 8: conversation on this date mine, he's from out of town.
Speaker 8: He is from New York, and I'm born and raised
Speaker 8: here in Houston, and he's been out here for about
Speaker 8: like six months, and so like while we're on the day,
Speaker 8: he's like, oh, yeah, you know, yeah, I wasn't goun
Speaker 8: here so different. What is some beautiful woman out here?
Speaker 8: I was like, yeah, I mean we were really diverse
Speaker 8: or mostly pot Yeah. Yeah. He was like, yeah, I'll
Speaker 8: talk to this one girl we literally like a couple
Speaker 8: of weeks ago.
Speaker 1: She was man, she was fun. Man.
Speaker 8: He kind of like gazed off and I was like, oh,
Speaker 8: so He's like, yeah, she was fine. We hit it off,
Speaker 8: we had a great time. He was like, I was like,
Speaker 8: oh okay, and then he was like yeah. Then after day,
Speaker 8: I didn't hear beast from us, so I don't know,
Speaker 8: this is it. And I just looked in him is
Speaker 8: mess to be talking about other dates or other people
Speaker 8: you've been with on a date?
Speaker 6: Is I just living?
Speaker 8: Because we're not anything obviously, but I thought.
Speaker 3: It was kind of rude.
Speaker 8: I know you're talking to other people, so am I,
Speaker 8: but I'm not going to talk about it in front
Speaker 8: of you and right specualizer in Oh yeah, she was fine,
Speaker 8: kind of like days and it was weird. So is
Speaker 8: it mess or am I turpin? Is he just living
Speaker 8: and I just need to live more?
Speaker 1: Noh?
Speaker 3: Like that?
Speaker 1: Is he living and I just need to live more?
Speaker 1: Here's what happened.
Speaker 5: The reason she called is because it's it's shocking, right,
Speaker 5: It's it's something that's unexpected. Usually when someone asks about
Speaker 5: on a date, you of course were dating other people,
Speaker 5: but you kind of keep it to just like, you know,
Speaker 5: let's just keep it between us and see if there's
Speaker 5: anything here. So I would be like her, be like
Speaker 5: shocked that someone could actually have the balls to sit
Speaker 5: there and talk about dating other women and this and
Speaker 5: that and da da da in front of her. It's
Speaker 5: like all right, like okay, I'm glad, Like obviously we're
Speaker 5: not like together, but this is it's inappropriate. It's just
Speaker 5: there's a time and a place where I didn't ask you, Like, sure,
Speaker 5: there are couples that can be like that, But at first,
Speaker 5: on the first date and someone's courting you, don't you
Speaker 5: kind of want to lie.
Speaker 3: I'll be like I went on a date last weekend.
Speaker 3: She was so hot and she never called me. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm sitting here.
Speaker 4: No, I think I think moving forward for all dates.
Speaker 4: People who are listening to us, no past. Let's talk
Speaker 4: about what's the president?
Speaker 1: What are we doing now? How are we feeling now? What?
Speaker 4: What are we looking forward to? What did you watch?
Speaker 4: What do you on your first date? You should not
Speaker 4: be trauma dumping. You should not be unpacking things that
Speaker 4: happen in last relationships like that we just the bread
Speaker 4: is warm? Are talking about the paint on the wall?
Speaker 4: Then talk about somebody you used to date three years ago.
Speaker 5: I just love the as the Christmas bar all right here,
Speaker 5: here's the reason. Okay, you're her, you're him? Okay and action.
Speaker 1: So how long you been to Houston? Well? I was
Speaker 1: here last week. I was actually taking this girl out
Speaker 1: with this pixie cut.
Speaker 4: Wow, her eyes were so ammon, and we really like
Speaker 4: had a great conversation about football, and I was like, damn,
Speaker 4: should I marry her?
Speaker 2: But yeah, she never called me back.
Speaker 1: How are you doing?
Speaker 3: Check?
Speaker 1: Check? Give it to him? Give him the check? But also,
Speaker 1: how do you respond in a situation like that if
Speaker 1: you want to date?
Speaker 2: If y'all, if I was on a date with somebody
Speaker 2: and they were talking about somebody else, I'd be.
Speaker 1: Like, are we? I would say right away, be like
Speaker 1: well that's interesting. I would actually leave.
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's crazy that you're talking about her while
Speaker 2: I'm sitting.
Speaker 1: When I used to date, I remember one time this
Speaker 1: guy he was like coording me, like let's go, let's
Speaker 1: meet blah blah.
Speaker 5: Isn't that It's like eleven am. He's like, okay, six
Speaker 5: thirty we're going to get dinner. I said, okay, I'll
Speaker 5: pick this place. It is called Picklelo Kuccina. It's on
Speaker 5: my favorite. They know me there, it's packed. It was
Speaker 5: like around Valentine's date, you know, so I mixed up.
Speaker 5: We've been talking for a while and then at like
Speaker 5: six twenty I text him like all right, I'm almost there.
Speaker 5: I'll get it to the table. He goes, oh, I'm
Speaker 5: about to leave my house. I'm like, you say, there
Speaker 5: it's six thirty.
Speaker 3: So then I'm like, okay, Maria, I'm already at the
Speaker 3: house and my way.
Speaker 1: It's on the dress code. I'm drinking.
Speaker 5: So I sit down and it's been like ten minutes
Speaker 5: and he's texting me, Oh, I don't understand the trains.
Speaker 5: I'm trying to figure out the trains, blah blah blah.
Speaker 5: I'm like okay, so I'm like whatever. So then they
Speaker 5: give me a glass of wine. I'm drinking it. Now
Speaker 5: it's like twenty five minutes. Now I'm furious because the
Speaker 5: messages are still like I think now I had to
Speaker 5: get out. Now, I had to take an uber and
Speaker 5: now I had to do this now to do that.
Speaker 5: So I was like, if I swear to God, if
Speaker 5: it goes a half arms, I'm just leaving. I'm literally
Speaker 5: just leaving. I'm this is a waste of my fucking time.
Speaker 5: We've been playing this since eleven. Am like, come on that,
Speaker 5: and if.
Speaker 1: You don't know the train, you should have left with
Speaker 1: enough time to figure it out. Te So I just
Speaker 1: say to the way, are you talking to you?
Speaker 3: I know the train, I know where to I know
Speaker 3: where to stay. Don't the train, baby, It's always I'm
Speaker 3: hit to the front of the train or the end
Speaker 3: of the train, and I know.
Speaker 1: That's such a New York thing.
Speaker 5: So then I just said to the waiter, I'm like,
Speaker 5: all right, I'm leaving, I said to him Italian I said, hey,
Speaker 5: I he's not coming.
Speaker 1: I was like, so, let me just pay for the wine.
Speaker 1: And the whole stad was like, no, my dal no,
Speaker 1: you no pay for the wine. It was Luigi wine
Speaker 1: will shoot. So I was like, all right, So I
Speaker 1: leave and then at like seven ten he text me, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm here. Where are you what?
Speaker 5: And I wrote back and I said I left. I said,
Speaker 5: I'm not waiting forty minutes for you.
Speaker 1: I don't even know you.
Speaker 5: I left and goes oh my. They tried putting it
Speaker 5: on me. I told you I didn't know where I
Speaker 5: was going. I told you I didn't understand the trains.
Speaker 5: And now I came all the way down here for this,
Speaker 5: I said, you and I both came down there. I'm
Speaker 5: a busy person. I don't have time for this.
Speaker 4: You would have said, I came all the way down
Speaker 4: here blocked. You get in the green bubbles now, because
Speaker 4: you're gonna be down there.
Speaker 1: Right by your side. You better text somebody else.
Speaker 2: I would have texted, oh yeah, I'm in the bathroom.
Speaker 3: Seven thirty. He'd be like, yo, what's up? Taking it's
Speaker 3: up and open this door and he would have sat there.
Speaker 3: But yeah, no, uh huh No, we made the date
Speaker 3: the day of and you're forty five minutes late.
Speaker 1: No, well, maybe that's why so and so is sending
Speaker 1: me a car next this Thursday, because you.
Speaker 5: Want to be on time, because now the driver's got
Speaker 5: to be like she's running like it's gonna be like
Speaker 5: you at home alone too. It's gonna be a big
Speaker 5: limo and you're gonna be the vackuzza.
Speaker 4: But the thing is is that Marie, a car will
Speaker 4: be waiting downstairs for you, and you'll legit still be late.
Speaker 2: Baby, a black car has to wait what five ten minutes?
Speaker 1: Fifteen?
Speaker 4: You're taking the hold thirteen and a half min nover,
Speaker 4: you're coming in sixteen minutes. Oh my god, and thank
Speaker 4: you so much.
Speaker 1: For coming in amazing. Can you please tell the listeners
Speaker 1: what you have going on? Where can I patch you?
Speaker 1: Like a week? Oh, I'm currently on tour. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: name out the uh cities I'm coming to because we
Speaker 1: just really announced the second part of my tour. So
Speaker 1: if you want, I'll be in Louisville, Providence, Rhoda Island, Philadelphia, Orlando, Jacksonville, Florida, Seattle, Charlotte, Toronto,
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, Baltimore and Radio City Music Hall April fifth,
Speaker 1: New York City. So I will.
Speaker 5: I'll be there Taylinecomedy dot com and see you guys there,
Speaker 5: and my book comes out April first. Your pasta Sucks
Speaker 5: a cookbook with Mateo Lane and that's them.
Speaker 1: I love the stream.
Speaker 2: You are not a mass Matello. Everything is in order.
Speaker 1: You a little bit of a mess. I mean you
Speaker 1: did get here thirty minutes earlier than us. Well, I
Speaker 1: thought it was at two, and thank god, I was like, oh.
Speaker 3: My message just at one forty three. Hey, I'm running
Speaker 3: five minutes late. And I was like, am I running half?
Speaker 1: I thought it was that was fine. I saw that.
Speaker 1: I was like, not again, it's so late, they're gonna
Speaker 1: fire me said, and then I looked and then I
Speaker 1: looked at.
Speaker 3: My calendar to make sure. Yeah, And then you didn't
Speaker 3: say anything, and I was like, wait, is it too?
Speaker 3: And then it was two thirty, So yeah, okayo as
Speaker 3: an Italian person. If you could shoot somebody, who would
Speaker 3: you shoot?
Speaker 1: No? Oh my god, I mean we have a history.
Speaker 1: Does not act like that's not history. No.
Speaker 3: Well, thank you for being here sitting us messages and
Speaker 3: reviewing us on iTunes and I love when they leave
Speaker 3: comments on Spotify.
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with that. It's really it's really cute and sweet.
Speaker 5: Thank you so much for listen to my podcast with
Speaker 5: Nick Smith Old I never liked you on all places
Speaker 5: to get podcasts and YouTube.
Speaker 2: Oh look at that.
Speaker 1: We're out of time. They don't even get to record
Speaker 1: that by Bie.
Speaker 3: Mess with Sidney Washington and Marie Foston is a production
Speaker 3: by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts.
Speaker 1: Created and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Foston.
Speaker 3: Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonny, super produced
Speaker 3: by Becca Ramos, edited a mixed by Brian Jeffries. If
Speaker 3: you would like your messages read on air, please email
Speaker 3: us at mess Thepodcast at gmail dot com, or call
Speaker 3: for your messages to be played at seven six three
Speaker 3: two eight zero six five eight eight two