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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEFM dot com.

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Speaker 1: All you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter,

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Speaker 1: and we could be reading your letter live on the air,

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Speaker 1: just like we're going to read this one right here,

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Speaker 1: right now. You never know, it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: Could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight. We

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Speaker 2: got it for you here it is strawberry. Let us

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Speaker 2: thank you, nephew.

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Speaker 1: Subject to my marriage or my pleasure, Dear Stephen Shirley,

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Speaker 1: I've been married almost twenty years and my husband has

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Speaker 1: put me in a difficult position. When we first got together,

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Speaker 1: we were swingers for a few years. We only did

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Speaker 1: it when we were on vacation, and it was only

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Speaker 1: with the couples we traveled with. We used to have

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Speaker 1: an occasional threesome, so my husband would be happy. He

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Speaker 1: would not let me bring another man into the threesome,

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Speaker 1: so he let me go have sex with an old

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Speaker 1: friend of mine a few times over the years. But

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Speaker 1: lately my husband doesn't want to have sex at all.

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Speaker 1: He said he's had enough wild sexual experiences to last

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Speaker 1: a lifetime. It's not a medical thing because his stuff

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Speaker 1: is still working properly. It's been eight months since he's

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Speaker 1: touched me, and on top of that, he changed the

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Speaker 1: rules of our marriage. He told me that if he

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Speaker 1: suspects I'm hooking up with my guy on the side,

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Speaker 1: he will leave me. I do not like ultimatum, so

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Speaker 1: I told him that I need to be pleasured, and

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Speaker 1: since he's changed his outlook on intimacy, I have to

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Speaker 1: handle business elsewhere. Two days ago, after work, I went

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Speaker 1: to meet my side guy for drinks. We planned to

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Speaker 1: have sex after drinks, so we started fooling around at

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Speaker 1: the bar. I couldn't wait to give him a nice

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Speaker 1: long kiss. As we were kissing, my husband walked up

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Speaker 1: and asked me to leave with him. I left, but

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Speaker 1: I did not talk to him all the way home.

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Speaker 1: He has threatened to divorce me, and he said he

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Speaker 1: will say I cheated on him in the paperwork. How

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Speaker 1: can he do that when we cheated on each other

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Speaker 1: and with each other all of a sudden, He is

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Speaker 1: a model husband, and he's forgotten that he introduced me

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Speaker 1: to this lifestyle. I need to stay married because we

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Speaker 1: have too many assets together, but I need the D two.

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Speaker 1: What should I do here?

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Speaker 2: Why?

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Speaker 1: What? Wow? Okay, See, this is what happens when swinging

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Speaker 1: in threesomes and going outside of your marriage for sex

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Speaker 1: and all that. This is what happens when it goes bad.

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Speaker 1: One thing is true that your husband said, and that

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Speaker 1: is that he's had enough wile sex to last him

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Speaker 1: a lifetime. I believe that. I don't see how you

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Speaker 1: guys made it for twenty years doing this, But why

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Speaker 1: don't you believe him? Yes, he may have introduced you

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Speaker 1: to this lifestyle, but he says he's done with it now.

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Speaker 1: People grow, people change, people change all the time. He's

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Speaker 1: over it. The problem is there's two of you in

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Speaker 1: this marriage. He introduced you to lifestyle and now he's

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Speaker 1: made the decision without you to stop it. It's good

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Speaker 1: that he doesn't want to swing anymore, because maybe your

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Speaker 1: marriage has a chance to survive, although I really don't

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Speaker 1: see it at this point because you said you just

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Speaker 1: want to stay together because you have too many assets together.

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Speaker 1: But the fact is that he doesn't want to have

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Speaker 1: sex with you anymore is definitely an issue if you

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Speaker 1: guys are going to be together. I mean what are

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Speaker 1: you supposed to do with this new information? And what

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Speaker 1: are you supposed to do in a marriage with no sex?

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Speaker 1: So you continue to do what you've been doing, seeing

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Speaker 1: other guys, seeing your side guy, and that's what he

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Speaker 1: said is going to make him leave you. Now he's

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Speaker 1: given you an ultimatum which you said you don't like.

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Speaker 1: So it sounds like your husband is serious about all

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Speaker 1: of this. So if you don't stop having sex with

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Speaker 1: others and he doesn't start having sex with you again,

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Speaker 1: your marriage, and I use that term very loosely, your

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Speaker 1: marriage or your version of marriage is over. So those

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Speaker 1: are your options. Those are your options. It's not really

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Speaker 1: much of a marriage anyway.

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Speaker 3: Steve, Well, let's comment on this raggedy letter, my marriage

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Speaker 3: or my pleasure?

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Speaker 2: Well, I don't know what to tell you letter, I

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Speaker 2: really don't.

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Speaker 3: You've been married for almost twenty years and now you're

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Speaker 3: saying your husband has.

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Speaker 2: Put you in a difficult situation. That's really odd to you.

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Speaker 3: And then you start telling us how when y'all was together,

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Speaker 3: y'all were swingers for a few years. Really, we only

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Speaker 3: did it when we were on vacation, and it was

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Speaker 3: only with couples. We travel with Why do these people

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Speaker 3: be finding each other out?

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Speaker 2: Is it a web site? Yes, all of that?

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Speaker 3: What is going Oh? Man, I ain't never what's going on?

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Speaker 3: How do you who introduces this to the other person?

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Speaker 3: How do you take this in there to your wife

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Speaker 3: and go, baby, I've been looking at this right here.

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Speaker 3: You want to try this? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I guess I don't hear these people.

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Speaker 3: Then she said, we used to have an occasional threesome

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Speaker 3: so my husband would be happy, and he would not

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Speaker 3: let me bring another man into the threesome. Well, I mean,

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Speaker 3: I understand that personally, but you said something to him

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Speaker 3: is very telling. We used to have an occasional threesome

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Speaker 3: so my husband would be happy. Oh okay, okay, so

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Speaker 3: not the swinging wasn't enough. Let's do a threesome so

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Speaker 3: your husband could be happy. And he found you and

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Speaker 3: you married into this. So since he wouldn't let you

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Speaker 3: bring another man, he would let you go have sex

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Speaker 3: with an old friend of yours for a few times

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Speaker 3: over the years. But lately my husband don't want to

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Speaker 3: have sex at all. Let me just say this. He

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Speaker 3: tied to you. He tied you, and he don't love you.

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Speaker 2: Any time you.

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Speaker 3: Send your wife off to the arms of another man's

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Speaker 3: because you don't care nothing about her.

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Speaker 2: You just don't care about her.

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Speaker 3: And that's the reality of one of the aspects of

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Speaker 3: this letter. Your husband don't give it about you. I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna send you off to another man. I'm gonna bring

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Speaker 3: another woman in here. I'm we gonna swing. I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: watch another man do you and you watch me do

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Speaker 3: another woman. Man, get out of here.

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Speaker 1: Hang on, Steve, hang on. We'll have part two of

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Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the

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Speaker 1: hour today Strawberry letter, subject my marriage or my pleasure.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject is my marriage or my pleasure.

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Speaker 2: A couple bit married twenty years.

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Speaker 3: They used to be swingers, but they only did it

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Speaker 3: on vacation with couples that they went on vacation with.

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Speaker 3: I don't know how they found each other. People do

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Speaker 3: it all the time, though. Then he says, she said,

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Speaker 3: we used to have an occasional threesome, so my husband

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Speaker 3: would be happy. So he needs all this, He to

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Speaker 3: convince you to give yourself to another man, and while

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Speaker 3: y'all on vacation, so he could be with another woman

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Speaker 3: on vacation. And now he wanted some more women in

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Speaker 3: here so he could be happy. But he wouldn't let

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Speaker 3: you bring a man in the room because now there's

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Speaker 3: two dudes in here, and he wouldn't let you do that.

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Speaker 2: But he would let you go have.

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Speaker 3: Sex with an old friend a few times over the years.

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Speaker 3: But lately, my husband don't want to have sex at

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Speaker 3: all because he don't give it about you. If you

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Speaker 3: with the man that will let you let another man

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Speaker 3: have you, it's because he don't value you.

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Speaker 2: There's no value.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I would want somebody to marry me because

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Speaker 3: they loved me and wanted to be with me and

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Speaker 3: share life with me, not share.

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Speaker 2: Me with other people life. Y'all ain't got nothing here.

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Speaker 3: He said, he had enough wild sex experiences to last

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Speaker 3: a lifetime. It's not a medical thing, because this stuff

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Speaker 3: is still working properly. It's been eight months since he

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Speaker 3: touched me, and on top of that, rules of our

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Speaker 3: marriage or it's been eight months since he to he

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Speaker 3: tied of you. See, he done went along with this

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Speaker 3: all these years. Now he tired of it and he

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Speaker 3: tied of you. He told me that if he suspects

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Speaker 3: I'm hooking up with my guy on the side, he

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Speaker 3: will leave me. I don't like ultimatoms, so I told

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Speaker 3: him I need to be pleasured. And since he's changed

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Speaker 3: it out look on intimacy, I have to handle my

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Speaker 3: business elsewhere. Okay, why don't y'all just get divorced. Y'all

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Speaker 3: ain't had no marriage and the begyon'ting. Why you call

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Speaker 3: it my marriage or my pleasure. It's just been a

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Speaker 3: hookup for pleasure, y'all. Just swingers or threesomes, dating apps,

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Speaker 3: wild parties, pass around. Y'all been passing each other around

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Speaker 3: for twenty years. Two days ago, after work, I went

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Speaker 3: to meet my side guy for drinks. We plan to

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Speaker 3: have sex after drinks, so we started fooling around the bark.

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Speaker 3: I couldn't wait to give him a nice long kiss.

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Speaker 3: As we was kissing, my husband walked up and asked

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Speaker 3: me to leave with him. Wait a minute, what see?

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Speaker 3: Well as the police report that right here. But I

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Speaker 3: don't understand. I walk up my wife kissing the man.

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Speaker 3: He asked me to leave with him. Well, we're not

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Speaker 3: finna leave him. We're not finna leave him. Well, we

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Speaker 3: can't go no way. I gotta pay for the damages.

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Speaker 2: I got it.

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Speaker 3: You know when they put that yellow Tampa up, it

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Speaker 3: says you cannot cross it. We can't even get out

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Speaker 3: of here. I gotta feel out this police report. I'm

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Speaker 3: in the back seat of the car talking. I got

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Speaker 3: to go down here to this little interview room so

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Speaker 3: they can talk to me downtown and he asked me

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Speaker 3: to leave with him, But I left, but I did

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Speaker 3: not talk to him all the way home. He has

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Speaker 3: threatened to divorce me, and he said he will say

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Speaker 3: that I cheated on him on the paperwork. How can

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Speaker 3: he do that when we've cheated on each other and

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Speaker 3: with each other. All of a sudden, he's a model husband,

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Speaker 3: and he's forgot that he introduced me to this lifestyle.

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Speaker 3: I need to stay married because we have too many

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Speaker 3: assets together. But I need the D two. What should

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Speaker 3: I do here? Well, this marriage is a rapper because

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Speaker 3: it never was a marriage. And you're right, he introduced

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Speaker 3: you to this lifestyle. Now he want to change it.

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Speaker 3: But now you live in a life. This is your style,

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Speaker 3: This is it?

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Speaker 2: Do you know?

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Speaker 3: In this whole letter the word love was never mentioned,

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Speaker 3: not one single time. Ain't nobody in love with nobody?

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Speaker 3: You sitting at the bar, couldn't wait to kiss this man?

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Speaker 3: Your husband?

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Speaker 2: Come up?

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Speaker 3: He ain't even upset he tell you to leave with him.

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Speaker 2: Ain't neither one of y'all in love?

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Speaker 4: Wow?

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Speaker 2: So what you're fighting for this marriage for?

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Speaker 3: Why aren't you gonna be free so you can do

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Speaker 3: whatever you want? One of these assets is what you're

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Speaker 3: talking about?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 3: What then happen is see all this asset and set

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Speaker 3: all this in motion.

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Speaker 1: Come on, break it down one more time.

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Speaker 2: I like it. I said, all his assets to set

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Speaker 2: all this in the motion.

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Speaker 3: That's what your asset and done right.

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Speaker 2: Y'all to set the relationship on five.

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Speaker 3: See, so now you're talking about this, let's talk about

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Speaker 3: assets for minutes. Like I said, all this assets to set,

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Speaker 3: all this in motion, and y'all been passing out these sets.

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Speaker 3: This ain't even a good tennis match. Tennis miss laid

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Speaker 3: in sex with two people. Ain't never been three people

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Speaker 3: on tennis court. You gotta play doubles. So this is

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Speaker 3: a wrap. I don't really lady. I can't help you

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Speaker 3: stay in the marriage. He's not having sex with you,

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Speaker 3: but I want you to understand something. He having sex somewhere.

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Speaker 3: He don't having sex for eight months. Let me tell

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Speaker 3: you that right now?

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Speaker 1: All right, all right, Steve, thank you. Hit us up

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Speaker 1: on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM to comment on today's

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter. You can also check out the Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: podcast on the iHeart app. Okay, coming up in forty

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Speaker 1: six minutes after the hour, we got Junior and sports

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Speaker 1: talk right after this.

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Speaker 2: YO, this is Jamie Foxx, this is Kim Whiley. You

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Speaker 2: already know what it is. Mastion.

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Speaker 3: You're mat Chico Bean and you are now listening to

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Speaker 3: the Steve Horvey Morning Show,