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Speaker 1: You don't know me. Concession I can't take back O arms.

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Speaker 2: Mouse Speak Texas seven eight five nine two says I'm

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Speaker 2: thirty six years old and I just found out yesterday

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Speaker 2: that slugs don't grow shells and turn into snails. What now,

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Speaker 2: different things, totally different animals. But legend has it if

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Speaker 2: you kiss a slug on the mouth, it magically turns

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Speaker 2: into the king of a mattress store.

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Speaker 1: That actually I could actually really see that transformation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, go kiss your slugs today, and on this segment,

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Speaker 2: we have some magic too where you kiss us and

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Speaker 2: we magically change your voice so you can tell your

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Speaker 2: secrets and people can't recognize.

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Speaker 1: Who you are. I'm having a little protective.

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Speaker 2: Shell, that's right. So we have a guy on the

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Speaker 2: phone who's chosen to go by the name Martin today, Martin,

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Speaker 2: pucker up, welcome to the show.

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Speaker 1: Hey, how guys, that's slimmy y.

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Speaker 2: We're doing good man. The voice changer is on. You

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Speaker 2: are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well this is something my family still gives me

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Speaker 1: a lot of crap about today. Okay, so they know

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Speaker 1: you know what happened a long time ago. Yeah they know.

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Speaker 2: Okay, this is so bad, they still remember.

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Speaker 1: What happened. I was seven or eight years old. Once

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Speaker 1: upon a time, I was a kid. I was really hyperactive,

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Speaker 1: and one of my cousins was having a birthday party

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Speaker 1: at Chuck E Cheese.

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Speaker 2: I love cheese.

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Speaker 1: That was spot every birthday was there. I did not

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Speaker 1: like Chuck E Cheese. That rat creeps me out.

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Speaker 2: I can see that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: It was always so dark in there, always dark.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, loved it, and like the curtain would close and

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Speaker 1: then suddenly that rat would be on the other side

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Speaker 1: of the room. He like caliported. It freaked me out. Man, Okay,

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Speaker 1: you figure out how the mechanical one went to a person.

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Speaker 1: Okay it was Yeah, it was a dumb kid. Good anyway.

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Speaker 1: So he was really big and I didn't like them

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Speaker 1: at all. So this one time, we're there for my

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Speaker 1: cousin's birthday, like I said, and I'm run out of tokens.

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Speaker 1: I want to play some more games, so I try

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Speaker 1: to rush up on the adult table to beg for

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Speaker 1: more money.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, that's what you do.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what you do. And none of the adults

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Speaker 1: are there though, they're all gone you know, I'm just

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Speaker 1: a dumb kid. I've got a hyperactive imagination. So I

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Speaker 1: get my cousins to help me look for them, and

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Speaker 1: I'm running around this Chuck E Cheese.

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Speaker 2: They're like, oh, there's neurotic Martins.

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Speaker 1: Here. Recruit and help from the other kid. Yeah, Like, naturally,

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Speaker 1: I'm convinced that this chucky guy has something to do

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Speaker 1: with my parents disappearing. It's got to do nothing.

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Speaker 2: He is very sketchy.

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Speaker 1: We had to plan. We're going to gather all our

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Speaker 1: tickets together and we're going to purchase an arsenal from

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Speaker 1: the ticket counter because something has happened to our parents,

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Speaker 1: so we need to come to their rescue. Like a

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Speaker 1: single NERF gun that's always off brand in those prize

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Speaker 1: areas and don't work that well.

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Speaker 2: It breaks after one shot. Yeah, yeah, it's like robbers

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Speaker 2: came and kidnapped everyone, So what did you do?

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Speaker 1: So we gear up from the ticket counter, and.

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Speaker 2: I feel like they're using Yo Yo's as some sort

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Speaker 2: of like defense.

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Speaker 1: We we rushed the guy dressed as Chuck E. Cheese

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Speaker 1: and we started demanding answers. The mascot rat of taking.

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Speaker 2: Your family, use your magic to transport across the room,

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Speaker 2: and I bet you used it to make our parents disappear.

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Speaker 2: Come on, where's the mechanical bird at it?

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Speaker 1: It was pretty obvious he had something to do with it.

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Speaker 1: And when he said he didn't know, we were talking

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Speaker 1: about my cousins and I just started wailing on it

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Speaker 1: with our yellow plastic bats foam weaponry. Oh, we knocked

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Speaker 1: the guy over. It was bad. We were bad kids, and.

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Speaker 2: He's probably not allowed to fight back against children. He

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Speaker 2: just has to take the beat. Yeah, yeah, under there

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Speaker 2: children this time.

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Speaker 1: So you know, after we're wailing on this poor chuck,

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Speaker 1: he got for a while. Other employees they have to

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Speaker 1: like rush in to restrain us, to pull us off

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Speaker 1: this guy.

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Speaker 2: Wow, except for that one disgruntled employee who's like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: get them. Did you get kicked out?

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Speaker 1: We did? Actually, yeah, it's not my parents. They had

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Speaker 1: been out by the kmart next door, drinking a little

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Speaker 1: booze out of the bottom.

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Speaker 2: That's what we call a blue light special.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: What did you parents say when they came back in

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Speaker 2: and found that you had assaulted the chucky cheese guy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they weren't happy. We were all grounded on my

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Speaker 1: cousin's birthday because we got permanently banned.

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Speaker 2: They took photo, they took your photo.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they took pictures of us.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I can.

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Speaker 1: See the talk.

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Speaker 2: It's like we already tried to give you a party

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Speaker 2: and you ruined it. So you're staying home now.

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Speaker 1: Does anyone else want to see the wall of outlaws

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Speaker 1: at Chuck? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Kids and parents. Dude, have you ever been back into

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Speaker 2: a Chuck E Cheese since then?

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Speaker 1: I actually haven't. No, I don't even know if they

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Speaker 1: still exist, but no, I haven't been. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're clinging on you and your band of cousins.

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Speaker 2: Maybe the ones that actually took them down. You started

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Speaker 2: the downfall of Chuck E Cheese at I hope that

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Speaker 2: guy wasn't seriously injured from the plastic band.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just as there you go.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. Text in seven eighty five nine too.

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Speaker 2: If you have a confession that you've been holding on to,

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Speaker 2: we can hide your identity, mask your voice, and make

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Speaker 2: you our next mass speaker. Got your phone tap coming

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Speaker 2: up right after this Brooke

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Speaker 1: And Jeffrey in the morning