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Speaker 1: He it is Gunnie.

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Speaker 2: Ooh are you ready? I am ready to Lot and Loe.

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Speaker 3: And fake lawyer who won all twenty six cases without

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Speaker 3: legal training arrested.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm guilty of being very curious.

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Speaker 4: We are live at the Bellhouse in Brooklyn for Bananas.

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Speaker 5: There you go, guys, gals and not binary Palace.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Banana.

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Speaker 3: Live from the Bellhouse in beautiful Brooklyn, New York.

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Speaker 4: Third show at the Bellhouse. We love the Bellhouse. We

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Speaker 4: love Brooklyn.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, we love it so much.

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Speaker 3: I was so worried that Scotty was gonna throw a

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Speaker 3: was this a twenty two ounce? No, a pint, a

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Speaker 3: pint into the audience, but he didn't.

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Speaker 4: I know, I got that cannon. I wasn't gonna do this.

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Speaker 4: I was gonna come over.

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Speaker 3: We have the delightful for everyone listening at home, the

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Speaker 3: best in the beer's nest from twenty Brewery, the best.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, guys, and go to Jersey due a road trip.

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Speaker 2: God drunk. You know I moved to Brooklyn November. When

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Speaker 2: I moved here.

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Speaker 3: Huh Oh really I left Brooklyn in November me too, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: look at that big month for us, big months. But

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Speaker 3: I moved here I was twenty two and I had

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Speaker 3: one thousand.

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Speaker 1: Dollars and that was a lot of money.

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Speaker 2: But my rent was six sixty five. Yeah, okay, so

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Speaker 2: I had.

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Speaker 3: Whatever that could six sixty six. Why not make it

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Speaker 3: the devil's number or make.

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Speaker 4: It five hundred dollars. Then I wouldn't have this story.

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Speaker 4: So I was living in an Ocean Parkway, thirty one

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Speaker 4: Ocean Parkway, which was great for Uh yeah, did anybody

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Speaker 4: live in Windsor Terrace?

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Speaker 2: Really? Nobody did? When I moved there. You call that

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Speaker 2: Windsor Terrace.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I would come.

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Speaker 2: To Tendington, maybe Church.

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Speaker 4: So I had no money, and yeah, somebody it's like

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Speaker 4: my landlord, He's like, you still owe me two months rent?

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Speaker 4: And so I got on my bike and I was like,

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Speaker 4: you know what I'm going to do. I've heard of

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Speaker 4: Coney Island. Yeah, I'm going to ride my bike to Coney.

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Speaker 1: I loved riding my bike to Coney Island.

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Speaker 2: Single speed BMX bike.

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Speaker 4: Oh that's a bad idea late November, that's solid headwind

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Speaker 4: any direction.

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Speaker 2: I said, November.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, oh yeah, Well you had ten dollars in my pocket.

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Speaker 4: Thirty five minutes later, I'm halfway there and I get

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Speaker 4: all the way down there, I thought, Coney Island fun

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Speaker 4: games in November, dead, just boardwalk, empty, the shoot the freak,

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Speaker 4: guys just smoking a cigarette. Nobody's shooting the freak.

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Speaker 3: That is my because I'm from a shore town and

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Speaker 3: I lived there year round, and I was from a

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Speaker 3: short town that was very much like Coney Island.

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Speaker 2: It feels so good. I love the.

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Speaker 3: I love Coney Island at not like in the winter

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Speaker 3: time when it's the saddest and you see, oh it

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Speaker 3: was that it's so fucked up and upsetting, but you

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Speaker 3: see like this is supposed to be fun and everything

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Speaker 3: takes on this grotesque shadow.

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Speaker 1: Sell right, I love that well.

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Speaker 2: I walked into that shadow on a bicycle. And also

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Speaker 2: what you're twenty three years old.

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Speaker 4: Two years young, green banana and just having a ball.

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Speaker 4: And so I get there and I look out at

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Speaker 4: the beach. I've heard of Coney Island my whole life,

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Speaker 4: not just the hot dog you can contest roller coasters,

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Speaker 4: I don't know, old extravagance. Yeah, Instead, it's just you know,

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Speaker 4: trash can every twenty yards in a grid for two

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Speaker 4: miles in the instrection.

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Speaker 2: So I'm like sad instantly sad. Nobody's there.

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Speaker 1: It's so sad.

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Speaker 4: So then I ride my bike on the boardwalk. I'm like, well,

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Speaker 4: this is sort of interesting, except I'm freezing. Yeah, and

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Speaker 4: I see the pier. I'm like, you know what, this

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Speaker 4: has an end. I'm gonna ride to the end of

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Speaker 4: that pier and then I can be like, I've been

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Speaker 4: to Coney Island.

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Speaker 3: Oh boy, oh boy, I have had some nightmare experiences

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Speaker 3: on that pier.

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Speaker 2: Really yep, me too.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that is not a fun place. Do you think

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Speaker 3: it's gonna be nice? Because it's out in the water

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Speaker 3: and it's like the people are at the end of

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Speaker 3: that pier.

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Speaker 2: You don't want to hang out with.

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Speaker 4: Them, really, yeah, November, Yeah, yep, that's right. So I

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Speaker 4: start riding my bike and the wind is so strong

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Speaker 4: I'm just riding in place. It's like a cartoon where

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Speaker 4: I'm like oh no, oh god no. And so I

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Speaker 4: get off. I start walking and then I just see

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Speaker 4: like one guy fishing, and then one guy over here

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Speaker 4: by this trash can about three quarters the way out

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Speaker 4: the pier, and I saw walking out the pier, and

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Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, well, I'm just gonna go the end,

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Speaker 4: just to say I did a thing today so I

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Speaker 4: don't fall into despair and desperation and depression. And so

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Speaker 4: I get out to where the closer of the two

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Speaker 4: men are and he is just masturbating next to a

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Speaker 4: trash car.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, So like.

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Speaker 2: Any cool, cool guy, I join him. No, I I turn,

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Speaker 2: I do this. I have my bike.

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Speaker 4: It's a little bit of X bike and I go, oh, okay,

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Speaker 4: I see what this is.

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Speaker 2: But you know, I grew up near Baltimore.

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Speaker 4: So I'm like, I'm turning around and as I do this,

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Speaker 4: a brown paper bag hits me in the face. So

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Speaker 4: instantly hit in the face with a grocery bag, and

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Speaker 4: I was like, this.

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Speaker 2: Is New York.

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Speaker 4: This is what I signed up for. I'm gonna make it.

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Speaker 4: And seven years later, by god, I made it.

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Speaker 2: And that's why I love November and Brooklyn. I'm obsessed here.

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Speaker 3: It is fake lawyer who won all twenty six cases. Yes, sir,

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Speaker 3: without leaning legal training.

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Speaker 2: Eres that's a lawyer.

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Speaker 1: This was This is no shit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah he's good.

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Speaker 3: It's fucking good, but it's real good. This was sent

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Speaker 3: in by Cby.

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Speaker 2: Oh thank you, Quby, thank you.

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Speaker 1: This was on One News New Zealand.

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Speaker 2: Sounds real. I'm we end up.

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Speaker 1: Using a lot of.

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Speaker 3: Stories from New Zealand websites and I don't know if

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Speaker 3: it's that New Zealand doesn't have a lot going on,

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Speaker 3: that they're just covering the weirdest news from other countries,

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Speaker 3: or if they're just weirdos.

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Speaker 4: Well they're not. They are two islands. So maybe they

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Speaker 4: just you know, try to entertain each other. Yeah, like

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Speaker 4: tops bunk, bottom bunk.

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Speaker 1: This like class top bunk, older sister.

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Speaker 2: We made each other laugh all the time.

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Speaker 1: Now it is.

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Speaker 3: So this is not written by anyone who is the

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Speaker 3: Brooklyn fuck.

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Speaker 2: Yes, we don't need a writer.

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Speaker 1: There, It is all right.

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Speaker 2: Uh.

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Speaker 3: Fake lawyer reportedly won all twenty six of his cases

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Speaker 3: without qualifications or legal training has been arrested in Kenya.

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Speaker 3: The BBC reported the man, who practiced under the name

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Speaker 3: Brian Mouenda, is accused of stealing the identity of Brian Monda.

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Speaker 2: A.

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Speaker 3: Registered lawyer in the African country, despite allegedly conning Meunda's

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Speaker 3: clients by representing them in court. The accused fake attorney

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Speaker 3: had won all twenty six.

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Speaker 1: Of the cases he fronted. So it's not just that

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Speaker 1: he won twenty six.

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Speaker 3: He won every single case he won our law school.

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Speaker 2: That's amazing. He's doing it.

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Speaker 1: He has.

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Speaker 3: He has now been arrested by the rapid action team

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Speaker 3: of the branch of the Law Society of Kenya.

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Speaker 1: Lots of great words put together there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that was cool.

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Speaker 3: After the branch received several complaints and stirred up public outrage,

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Speaker 3: the fake Monde's allegedly excessed access the Law Society's portal

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Speaker 3: and meddled with the real lawyer's details.

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Speaker 1: This guy's genius.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's awesome. I want this lawyd.

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Speaker 3: Including uploading an image of himself and claiming to be

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Speaker 3: trained in law.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like he should just get it.

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Speaker 2: This is as hard as loss. He's in. He's in.

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Speaker 2: Does he wear a wig? Event? Yes he does? Oh

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Speaker 2: he really does. Yes.

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Speaker 4: Oh he's a black gentleman with a very white wig on.

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Speaker 1: Because they wear barrister wigs in Kenya.

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Speaker 2: Unbelievable. I mean he looks look the wig on. It's

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Speaker 2: everybody's the same. The wig is the thing they never

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Speaker 2: teach you that law school.

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Speaker 1: But and he's a young man. He's a young man.

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Speaker 2: He's good looking.

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Speaker 1: Probably he's a he's a good looking man.

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Speaker 2: He's hot.

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Speaker 3: He's a hot man. He's probably twenty five years old,

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Speaker 3: beautiful beard and that a crazy crazy wig.

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Speaker 2: Hell yes he is. This dude's cool. He's cool. Shit,

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Speaker 2: I'm hiring him. Uh sue everybody.

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Speaker 3: On the fifth day of August twenty twenty two, Brian

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Speaker 3: Wenda was admitted to the bar and his correct email

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Speaker 3: address was captured an account opened for him in the

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Speaker 3: Advocates portal.

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Speaker 1: Okay, blah blah blah blah. Ma ma, mama, this is

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Speaker 1: just telling how he got caught.

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Speaker 3: But then, Though the accused impostor has received broad condemnations,

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Speaker 3: some were impressed with the man's feet. Kenya's Central Organization

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Speaker 3: of Trade Unions told the BBC he was a brilliant

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Speaker 3: young mind who succeeded without traditional qualification.

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Speaker 1: I agree, I love it. The trade union was just

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Speaker 1: like uh fucking law schools bullshit.

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Speaker 2: And we know it, Yes, we know it is.

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Speaker 3: The accused man has since posted a video defending his

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Speaker 3: action and claiming innocence. I would like to convey my

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Speaker 3: gratitude to the people that are supporting me and praying

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Speaker 3: for me. In the fullness of time, I will be

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Speaker 3: able to clear this misunderstanding. I love that it's a misunderstanding.

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Speaker 2: He's a good lawyer. He's a great lawyer. He's the

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Speaker 2: best lawyer I've ever heard of.

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Speaker 3: I will also be able to provide my innocence and

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Speaker 3: provide the actual context. He was apparently released on cash ball,

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Speaker 3: so he's out and about hopefully practicing law right now. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: give it up for Brian Wenda, the fame Brian Wenda.

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Speaker 4: Did I ever talk about Don Dazzel? What did I

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Speaker 4: ever talk about Don Dazzel?

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Speaker 2: No? But I remember Don Dazzle, Don Dazzel. I waited tables.

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Speaker 4: In Pensacola Beach at the Splisco Bushworkers, And there was

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Speaker 4: a gun, a.

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Speaker 2: Gift that never stops giving. Yeah, one summer, nine thousand stories.

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Speaker 2: I was a nineteen year old.

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Speaker 1: Was it just ninety days that you worked there?

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Speaker 2: It was May to mid August.

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Speaker 3: That's amazing. And every day, every day was another story.

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Speaker 3: You've told at least eighty stories from this.

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Speaker 4: It was like eighty episodes of Quantum Leap, where every

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Speaker 4: day I would show up and be like who am I,

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Speaker 4: who are you?

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Speaker 2: And why are we here?

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Speaker 4: But also one day they were like, we're not serving

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Speaker 4: potato French fries anymore. I said what they said, we

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Speaker 4: got a better deal on corn French fries. No, no, no,

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Speaker 4: I mean this wasn't even Don Dazzel's story.

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Speaker 2: But every day you would walk.

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Speaker 4: In, they would just say a thing to you and

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Speaker 4: you go, okay, this is normal to you, and they're like, justice,

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Speaker 4: the customers are.

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Speaker 2: Going to like them.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if anybody's from the South, Alabama, Georgia,

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Speaker 4: the truce the deepest South Mississippi. You want French fries

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Speaker 4: and you want them with potato, and you want them

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Speaker 4: with so much ketchup you'd suffocate yea. And so we

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Speaker 4: were serving corn fries to people and these people were

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Speaker 4: picking them.

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Speaker 2: Up like this.

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Speaker 4: They're like what is this? Or like they're corn rito's

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Speaker 4: or whatever they were called. That was one day and

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Speaker 4: then like never mind, back to potato. But there was

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Speaker 4: a chef named Don Dazzle. He was Latino.

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Speaker 3: Imagine if there was a comedian Don Dazzle, he would

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Speaker 3: have a Netflix special before he ever went on stage.

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Speaker 4: I wouldn't be a writer if I had gone, you

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Speaker 4: know what, I'm taking that name yep, and I just

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Speaker 4: show up into an open mic and go, hey, guys,

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Speaker 4: I'm Don.

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Speaker 2: Dazzle and they're like, yes you, yes, you are, You're

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Speaker 2: on fallon hell. Yes. But he was the nicest guy.

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Speaker 4: He was a Latino man, he was Mexican American, and

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Speaker 4: he was he would only say see, no matter what

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Speaker 4: you said, you go hey, don, what's up?

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Speaker 2: And he goes see and is really sweet guy. And

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Speaker 2: then one day I didn't tell the story. No, I

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Speaker 2: don't know. I remember the thing. Holy smokes.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 4: So one day I'm setting up in the morning like

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Speaker 4: Marry ketchups, doing sugar caddies, raising all these things for

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Speaker 4: this beach front bar, and these three FBI guys.

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Speaker 2: Come running in.

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Speaker 4: Now and this manager, who I won't name his real

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Speaker 4: name because this is a true story. How about we

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Speaker 4: call him give me a man's name mid forties comedy.

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Speaker 4: Greg's fine, Okay, Greg's fine. I was gonna say Colorado.

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Speaker 4: They're Colorado, Yep, Colorado. Greg is the daytime manager at

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Speaker 4: this restaurant, and he's talking to his FBI guys and

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Speaker 4: it's just me. I'm the only servant wearing a Hawaiian

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Speaker 4: shirt and black shorts, and I'm like.

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Speaker 2: What is going on here? Is it the corn fries?

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Speaker 4: And and he's like, yeah, I don't know, I don't know,

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Speaker 4: I don't know. And then Colorado Greg walks away and

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Speaker 4: he comes out. He's like, Scotty, just stay outside, stay outside.

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Speaker 4: They're here for Don Dazzl. What And Colorado Greg went

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Speaker 4: upstairs and Don Dazzle was there.

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Speaker 2: He was prepping.

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Speaker 4: But Colorado Greg was such a good guy and a

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Speaker 4: solid bro. He's like, I don't know what you did,

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Speaker 4: but I'm not going to tell them.

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Speaker 2: You're here. You have fifteen minutes. Wow.

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Speaker 4: So Don Dazzel escaped, yes, and Colorado Greg just played

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Speaker 4: dumb the whole time. And he got away, and he

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Speaker 4: had knocked up a waitress that I was working with.

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Speaker 4: Who you know call uh.

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Speaker 2: Uh say yeah, yeah, Paula his ass and paulap his

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Speaker 2: azz and Don Dazzl escape and are as.

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Speaker 4: Far as I know, still alive, all the lamb still

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Speaker 4: happy in another state.

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Speaker 2: But yeah. And so he got his name in Grand

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Speaker 2: Central station.

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Speaker 4: He had he came to America illegally and made it

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Speaker 4: to New York and was sitting in Grand Central and

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Speaker 4: a guy was filling out a credit card form back

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Speaker 4: in those days, and that guy's name was Donald Dazzle.

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Speaker 4: And so that's the name he picked and then moved

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Speaker 4: to Florida where I met him. What Don Dazzl.

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Speaker 3: So that means there's a real Don Dazzle out there, yes,

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Speaker 3: in New York City.

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Speaker 2: Who is here tonight?

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Speaker 3: I bet you that's the Don Dazzel that's wanted by

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Speaker 3: the FBI. He just happened to choose the wrong guy's name,

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Speaker 3: Don Dazzl, because.

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Speaker 2: That guy obviously is using a fake name.

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Speaker 4: He's a criminal or magician we'll never know, or nice dancer.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, so I just imagine you're sitting there and

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Speaker 2: you're like, I really need to steal today. I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: sit here in the train station. Here's a guy filling

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Speaker 2: out a form, Donald Dazzle.

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Speaker 4: That's me, twenty seven year old Mexican American Donald Dazzle. Anyways, Don,

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Speaker 4: if you're listening, thanks for the support. Oh sorry, that

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Speaker 4: was a total side tangent. Sorry sorry, sorry.

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Speaker 2: No, not at all.

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Speaker 3: I love it because we're gonna be telling very similar stories.

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Speaker 3: Well not very similar. Oh so I talked a little

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Speaker 3: bit about this on a previous episode, but I haven't

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Speaker 3: gotten into like the real dirty details about it. This

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Speaker 3: was about my very first agent in New York city.

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Speaker 1: A man walked up to me.

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Speaker 3: I was doing shows at UCB in nineteen ninety nine

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Speaker 3: and a man walked up to me after a show

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Speaker 3: and he was like, I think you're very funny, and

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Speaker 3: here's my card.

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Speaker 1: I'm an agent. He was not an agent, and that

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Speaker 1: is not how it happened.

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Speaker 2: He was. He was a man who.

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Speaker 3: Had made business cards that literally said Sandy agent and

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Speaker 3: a phone number and that's it.

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Speaker 2: Empty.

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Speaker 3: So he's like, come to my office, let's have a meeting.

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Speaker 3: I'm very excited. I'm twenty two years old, discovered yeah,

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Speaker 3: and I'm just like here it is. This is when

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Speaker 3: I start my rise to the top and his his office.

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Speaker 1: He's like coming at me. It was in one World

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Speaker 1: Trade Center.

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Speaker 2: So this was the.

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Speaker 1: Twin Towers pre nine to eleven. Uh, take the elevator up.

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Speaker 3: It's like it the Twin Towers were crazy, Like they

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00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:33,600
Speaker 3: were really scary inside. There's no windows, like from the

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Speaker 3: majority of rooms. Yeah, and you get up and everything's

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Speaker 3: carpet and so I walk, I go up and I

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Speaker 3: go to this and I open into this office.

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Speaker 2: His office was in the Twin Towers. So wait, okay, Jesus,

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Speaker 2: oh my god.

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Speaker 3: Right, So I walk in and I'm like, well, this

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Speaker 3: is legitimates the twin towers.

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Speaker 1: This is where business happens.

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Speaker 2: There's two of them for a reason one wasn't enough.

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Speaker 3: I walk inead all shag carpeting everywhere, and I walk

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Speaker 3: into a room that is like the width of it

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00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,480
Speaker 3: is from here to the end of the stage, and

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00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,879
Speaker 3: the length of it is there. And this is the

353
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:19,159
Speaker 3: waiting room. There's a series of chairs over here, and

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Speaker 3: then there's like a almost like a doctor's room type

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Speaker 3: of situation here where people are sitting on the other

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Speaker 3: side of a of a thing. Okay, and all over

357
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Speaker 3: the walls, every inch of the wall is covered with

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Speaker 3: children's head shots.

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Speaker 1: So this was a children's casting agency.

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Speaker 3: Nice and I come and I come and I say, Hi,

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Speaker 3: I'm here for Sandy. They go who no, And I

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00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:49,679
Speaker 3: go Sandy and they and they go, you want to

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Speaker 3: talk to Sandy? And I was like, yeah, what and

364
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:58,520
Speaker 3: then they just go say and then Sandy comes out.

365
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Speaker 3: He's like, this is a client. This is a hind

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Speaker 3: of mind. This is a very important client. There's a

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00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 3: very point client. They're like, okay, like everybody fucking hates Sandy.

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00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,240
Speaker 3: And it seemed like he was maybe the guy who

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00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,760
Speaker 3: just delivered the water or something like, no one cared

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Speaker 3: about him. And he's like, is it okay if I

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Speaker 3: use the new office? And they're like yes, Sandy go.

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00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:17,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

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00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,359
Speaker 3: Everyone's screaming at each other. This is the saddest children's

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00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,159
Speaker 3: I mean, all children's acting is sad, but this is

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00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,600
Speaker 3: this uses the base of it. And so then we

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Speaker 3: go across the hall. We enter an office that is empty.

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Speaker 1: There's no thing in the office.

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00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:40,720
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, it's new, it's new, free to play.

379
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,160
Speaker 3: So then we and then it's shag carpeting and then

380
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,840
Speaker 3: no windows and then we and he's like shall we

381
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:47,960
Speaker 3: And I was like shall we?

382
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:48,159
Speaker 6: What?

383
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:48,760
Speaker 2: Sand?

384
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:53,240
Speaker 3: We shall And then we sit down Chris cross apple

385
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Speaker 3: sauce on the floor.

386
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,399
Speaker 1: And he's like, did you bring your resume? And I

387
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:04,840
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, yes, this is the beginning of showbiz.

388
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:06,520
Speaker 2: Well hello, hollyweird.

389
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:08,720
Speaker 3: And then he sits down and he like looks at

390
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:11,560
Speaker 3: my uh. We like start talking. We have a full

391
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:15,240
Speaker 3: meeting on the floor in this empty office. The very

392
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,720
Speaker 3: first audition he sends me out on is a commercial

393
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,879
Speaker 3: audition for Roady. It's like a roadie for a band

394
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:26,040
Speaker 3: for a commercial. He is auditioning against me.

395
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Speaker 2: Cool guy.

396
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:33,760
Speaker 3: But Sandy has also dressed as a roadie with a

397
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Speaker 3: belt that he has put duct tape rolls around like

398
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:38,160
Speaker 3: he has like.

399
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,600
Speaker 1: Roady stuff, but it's just a series of different duct.

400
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:46,520
Speaker 7: Tape rolls and he's got and he's got like the

401
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,919
Speaker 7: the gloves that are just half cut off here with

402
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 7: just the fingers sticking out and a bandana.

403
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,639
Speaker 3: And I was just like what is I was like,

404
00:19:54,760 --> 00:20:01,200
Speaker 3: is this? Do agents normally audition against their clients? So

405
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 3: that was the first interaction with I proceeded to work

406
00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:05,800
Speaker 3: with Sandy for five years.

407
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:12,880
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, anywhere's mouth is it's in there? Yeah I did.

408
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,320
Speaker 2: Did I book work with Sandy? Yes?

409
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:16,000
Speaker 1: I did?

410
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:16,600
Speaker 3: Right?

411
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:18,840
Speaker 2: All right?

412
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:23,119
Speaker 3: At what point He's like, he's like, we got to

413
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:23,639
Speaker 3: have a meeting.

414
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 1: And I was like, of course, Sandy, we have to

415
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:26,200
Speaker 1: have a meeting.

416
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,480
Speaker 3: And he's like, kats Is Deli, and I'm like, normal

417
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:30,480
Speaker 3: place for a meeting.

418
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 1: So we meet at Kats's Delhi.

419
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, he brings out he's like, I made a career

420
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,040
Speaker 3: map for you, and I was like, well that's.

421
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 1: Cool, Okay. He puts this piece of paper down.

422
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,640
Speaker 3: It is a quote unquote career map for another person

423
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 3: who he has crossed off their name, and she was

424
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,000
Speaker 3: she wanted to be a soap star, like that was

425
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:55,240
Speaker 3: her plan was to be a soap star. And so

426
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 3: he's like, okay, so you don't want to be a

427
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,359
Speaker 3: soap star, you want to be on the daily show.

428
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,360
Speaker 3: So we'll write daily show for this soap star ship.

429
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,120
Speaker 1: And then just wrote over all of the things that.

430
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,879
Speaker 2: She had written in it was Susan Lucci.

431
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,199
Speaker 3: And that a and then another comedian who has a

432
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 3: who also was represented by him, a comedian who is

433
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 3: very famous right now he has he was also represented

434
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:20,639
Speaker 3: by sand.

435
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,160
Speaker 2: This guy is a recruiter. He gets out there.

436
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:26,600
Speaker 3: His first audition that they that Sandy sent him on

437
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:31,400
Speaker 3: was for a hand modeling commercial, which also I've never

438
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,840
Speaker 3: no one's ever been said up a hand modeling commercial

439
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,160
Speaker 3: and not told that it was a hand modeling commercial.

440
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:39,200
Speaker 3: But he has a genetic disorder where he has webbed hands.

441
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 2: So he comes.

442
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,879
Speaker 3: Bar so he got to it, found out that it

443
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 3: was a hand modeling commercial and then was furious because

444
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 3: he has to then be like I have to leave

445
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,160
Speaker 3: because I have webbed hands.

446
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:55,720
Speaker 2: I'm part flying squirrel.

447
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, and shoulders.

448
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 4: He could just swim and they'd be like yeah, and

449
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:02,919
Speaker 4: they're be like that guy's good, he's fast.

450
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 3: And then last story, last story about Sandy.

451
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 1: He would he would he would Once he was like, hey, you.

452
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,919
Speaker 3: Gotta uh you got to pick up sides for me

453
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,439
Speaker 3: for this commercial ad unbelievable.

454
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,160
Speaker 1: And I was like, I have to pick them up.

455
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 3: You can't email them to me, uh, And he was

456
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,960
Speaker 3: like no, and I was like okay, And so I

457
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 3: come over to his house in the West Village.

458
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:26,960
Speaker 2: He greets me at the door shirtless.

459
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 3: And he's like, oh, I have him in, Come in,

460
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,679
Speaker 3: come in. So then I come into his house and

461
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 3: he's shirtless and he's like, we.

462
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 1: Got to run these together.

463
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 3: And I was like, why do we have to run

464
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 3: the commercial sides together? And then I was like and

465
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 3: then we're sitting there and I'm like, what the fuck

466
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 3: is happening? And I was just like, all right, Sandy,

467
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,320
Speaker 3: I'm not going to run them with you, and he

468
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:46,919
Speaker 3: goes why not?

469
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,000
Speaker 1: And I go because that's insane.

470
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,400
Speaker 2: You're my agent, you're seasoned.

471
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,919
Speaker 3: You're we're not going to run lines together. And then

472
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,639
Speaker 3: he was just like, you're making me very sad.

473
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,200
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

474
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 1: And then I was like, I don't think we're gonna

475
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 1: work together.

476
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 2: Sandy, put your shirt on, and then.

477
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,360
Speaker 1: We worked together for two more years.

478
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 2: By but did you book anywhere?

479
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:13,800
Speaker 4: No?

480
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 2: That's right, God bless him. I hope he's doing well.

481
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:21,119
Speaker 4: I think we should break protocol and bring our guests

482
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:24,400
Speaker 4: out earlier. Okay, so I don't know if we all

483
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 4: saw this, but we have a special guest today, which

484
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 4: is a true treat for the Banana Boys. They are

485
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,879
Speaker 4: one of the most beloved guests we've ever had on

486
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:35,480
Speaker 4: the Bananas podcast. They are the host of under the Desk,

487
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,480
Speaker 4: which is a safe space on Instagram and TikTok for

488
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 4: all your news. So let's give a huge bananas welcome

489
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 4: to our friend v Spear.

490
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 2: Welcome, welcome, Oh, thank you.

491
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 8: And I brought I brought banana stickers.

492
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 2: Will Those guys are freaks for stickers.

493
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 9: The banana shirt good news, only good guys. There are treats.

494
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,200
Speaker 2: That is a treat. Also, y'all, you could take photos.

495
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,000
Speaker 2: We don't yell at people like figure your phone out.

496
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 2: We're not like fuck you, we hate you. You're fine.

497
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 8: Please immediately take photos.

498
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:23,240
Speaker 2: You want to get up and go get drinks. You

499
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 2: can do these. We're cool with it over there.

500
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 4: Well, we'll post him welcome.

501
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 8: Thank you. What's going on, fella?

502
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:37,680
Speaker 2: We're talking fake people? Yeah, oh yes it happened.

503
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 3: Don Dazzel and Sandy Gunner those good names, they're really

504
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:41,720
Speaker 3: great names.

505
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:43,680
Speaker 8: Did you make him up for the show or those those?

506
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 3: Sandy might hear this, and I if he does, I

507
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:48,680
Speaker 3: hope he feels okay about it.

508
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 8: I hope he does too. That journey for him.

509
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

510
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's exciting to be back in Brooklyn.

511
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 1: I know you live in Rochester.

512
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 9: Now you live in Rochester, but I used to live

513
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:01,440
Speaker 9: in Brooklyn. Rochester, Rochester, New York, greatest city on Earth.

514
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, right where you pointing a representative from Rochester?

515
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 8: There was from Rochester.

516
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 2: Are you from Rochester? There's a look that I know

517
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 2: every person here. Memory is terrifying.

518
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,160
Speaker 4: We had one yesterday in Baltimore where we were walking

519
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,160
Speaker 4: the street and there's a fan that it was coming

520
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 4: up with her partner and I yelled her name out

521
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,880
Speaker 4: from a block away and she was like, what.

522
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 8: Yeah, social relationships here, we know you follow you.

523
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:37,160
Speaker 9: It just doesn't you know your mom, We know your secrets.

524
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 1: Don't ever find you, we flip it on its head.

525
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,200
Speaker 2: We stalk you. Dude.

526
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 4: Since you've been doing you're since you've been on TikTok,

527
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 4: have you had people reach out to you to try

528
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 4: to take what you were doing and make it their own.

529
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 4: Have your saying a man, Yes.

530
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,000
Speaker 9: It's always men, and they'll be like, hey, I love

531
00:25:58,040 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 9: what you do. I'm going to do it too. Is

532
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,399
Speaker 9: that's okay with you? And I'm like, you should absolutely

533
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,399
Speaker 9: start a TikTok and talk about the things you care about.

534
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 9: And they're like, no, Like I'm gonna put on a

535
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 9: suit and I'm gonna go under my desk. And I

536
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:09,880
Speaker 9: was thinking i would call it like under the desk

537
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 9: sports and I'm like, no.

538
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:12,359
Speaker 8: Don't do that.

539
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 9: But it's always yeah, it's always been, but that's okay,

540
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 9: And then they try it and then they're like, this

541
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 9: is bad for my back and I can't keep it well.

542
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 4: You did say when you were on the podcast, you said,

543
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,119
Speaker 4: like it is hard to get on the ground and

544
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 4: read the news.

545
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,399
Speaker 8: It can be because I have to like take a

546
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:28,240
Speaker 8: breath in between.

547
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 9: People are like you talk past it was like, literally

548
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 9: the diaphragm is constricted.

549
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have to be like it's Monday.

550
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 8: Night, and here's what happened. Trump's back in jail. Yeah,

551
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:36,120
Speaker 8: like you know.

552
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 4: But did you do it because the news is so depressing? Yes, yeah,

553
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 4: that's why we do bananas.

554
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, so scary.

555
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 9: It sucks and I literally people are like, how'd you

556
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:45,199
Speaker 9: come up with this?

557
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 2: It's so smart.

558
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,400
Speaker 9: I was like, I was actually scared, and I got

559
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,440
Speaker 9: under my desk and then I was like, maybe other

560
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,119
Speaker 9: people are under here at home.

561
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 2: I know.

562
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 8: It was like early pandemic.

563
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 9: So I was like desperately looking into the camera and

564
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:00,440
Speaker 9: like bad lighting, Like.

565
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 8: Are you there too? Are you scared too?

566
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,400
Speaker 9: And they were And so now we're just scared together,

567
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 9: which is always better.

568
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 4: My first job in Los Angeles, I worked for this

569
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 4: show that Whitney Cummings was the host. It was called

570
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:14,720
Speaker 4: Love You Mean It, and it was I was so

571
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,919
Speaker 4: excited to get on the show. And it was on

572
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 4: E Entertainment Network. You guys know, you watch it all

573
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,119
Speaker 4: day twenty four to seven.

574
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 2: It's like that that you should be called.

575
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 4: Red Carpet and we would all watch it every time

576
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:27,800
Speaker 4: there was.

577
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:28,359
Speaker 2: And it's just called E.

578
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 4: It's like, eh, yeah, you know now that the Kardashians

579
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 4: are gone. They're like, we don't even know what we are.

580
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,719
Speaker 4: John Rivers is dead, the Kardashians are gone. Just call

581
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,640
Speaker 4: it red carpet, and then every time there's an award show,

582
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,159
Speaker 4: you turn on red Carpet, Right, Yeah, I should be

583
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:46,639
Speaker 4: so much more wealthy than I am. Yep so, but

584
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,919
Speaker 4: during the so when you start in your show, I

585
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 4: was one of the first hires.

586
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 2: Actually, Karen Kilgarriff was the head writer.

587
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 4: That's where That's where Karen and I became good buddies.

588
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 4: I remember going to that writer's room for some reason.

589
00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 2: It was a good room.

590
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: Were like visiting and saying hi, everybody, that's right.

591
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:06,920
Speaker 2: So the executives at E all were like I will

592
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 2: say they were all women.

593
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 4: But the only reason I say that at up Top

594
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 4: is because they said we need to see your legs

595
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 4: and wit to Whitney and she.

596
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 2: Was like, I thought they meant to you.

597
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,439
Speaker 9: I was like, you do a beautiful legs. Have you

598
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 9: seen these gamsack you. He's got the legs of a

599
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 9: young and Milla.

600
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:27,639
Speaker 3: He's got the shortest shorts of anyone.

601
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,359
Speaker 2: I know, that's true. Yeah, so did.

602
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:32,399
Speaker 8: You just your legs?

603
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 2: Yes? I hid them so much there for me and

604
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 2: only wit so objectify.

605
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 4: So there are these five executives that the who I'm

606
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,959
Speaker 4: sure all either fired or running e and they were like,

607
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 4: we have to see your legs like Mary Hart on

608
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 4: Entertainment Tonight. Because Whitney's very tall, She's very beautiful. But

609
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 4: they were like, the audience wants to see your legs

610
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 4: under the desk is what I'm saying, Oh.

611
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 2: Under them.

612
00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 4: So they wanted a either glass table like crach shiny

613
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 4: glass table or just an open table so you could

614
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 4: see her in her like Air Jordan's but with her

615
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 4: legs and Whitney to her always wear jeans though too right,

616
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 4: she did on the show she wore jeans and high

617
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 4: tops a lot, which was so very good.

618
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, she said no. Whitney was like fuck that, No,

619
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 2: I'm not doing it.

620
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, like to the point where they were like you

621
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 4: have to do it, and so we were like no.

622
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 4: And then our good friend Rob who is the show

623
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 4: running on the show, was like, will you will, Karen

624
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 4: and Scotti, will you come with us to this meeting

625
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 4: with the execs and explain why the whole point of

626
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,719
Speaker 4: the show is supposed to be like fun and cool

627
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 4: and now and not.

628
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 2: Just objectifying Whitney, and we're like, we'd love to come.

629
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 4: So the four of us were one side, all the

630
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 4: execs on the other side, and everybody's like, listen, she

631
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 4: doesn't want to do it, and they're like, well, what

632
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 4: kind of desk do you want if we can't see

633
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 4: your legs? All other desks, every desk, every desk, every desk,

634
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 4: well yeah, everywhere. So she's like, I want a wood desk,

635
00:29:57,320 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 4: a table where I can have a panel, and we're

636
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 4: like yes, Like Chelsea lately, yeah, the show that Kurt

637
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 4: was always on, and Chelsea flirted with Kurt all the.

638
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 3: Time for some time, but she never pronounced my name correct.

639
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,800
Speaker 3: She's calling me Kurt brown hole her every single time,

640
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 3: every single It was very funny.

641
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 2: She loved you, though.

642
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 4: So we're in the it's pretty heated, and it got

643
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 4: to the point Whitney's like, I'm not doing it. I'm

644
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 4: not showing you my legs. And Rob's like, she doesn't

645
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 4: want to do it, we're not doing it. Karen's like, yes,

646
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 4: this is weird. It's a comedy show. It's not that

647
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 4: kind of show. It's not just pop.

648
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 1: Called sexy is not funny.

649
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 4: And then everybody kind of calms down, and I'm the youngest,

650
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 4: dumbest person in the room, per usual, and I just go, well,

651
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 4: why don't we just put two cameras under the table

652
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 4: to film her legs as a joke. And the executives

653
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 4: are like, that's really funny, and Whitney's like, don't you

654
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 4: say that now. So we ended up doing one episode

655
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 4: where we had under the desk camera. Our good friend

656
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 4: Ed ed Hanson, who is her assistant, is under there,

657
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 4: and we to it before commercial break and Ed is

658
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 4: just handing her bottles of water and it's just Whitney's

659
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 4: legs and he was like, that's what we're talking. Those

660
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 4: are smart solutions, absolutely, So I know a.

661
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 2: Little bit about nobody wants to see my legs.

662
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 9: In fact, walking out here is uncomfortable because people try to.

663
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 9: They'll say things to me. They're like, I've watched you

664
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 9: for three years, like under the desk and you're laying down,

665
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,840
Speaker 9: and then they'll like comment on your body. They're like

666
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:24,719
Speaker 9: you're a lot taller than I thought, you're shorter than

667
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 9: I thought, or like what why do you have legs?

668
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 9: And I'm like, no, don't perceive me.

669
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 7: Don't like.

670
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 8: Even right now. I'm like, this is great just from

671
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 8: here up like high school.

672
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 2: Photo amounts me. Yeah, yeah, why do you have legs?

673
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 8: Why do you have legs?

674
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 2: We love the news thing you do, but the whole.

675
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 8: Leg is it intimidating or not?

676
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know that is it is interesting

677
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 3: that I think is everyone has that and it's in

678
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 3: their back of their mind. And when people start stand up,

679
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 3: you can very much notice, yes, because they they keep

680
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,240
Speaker 3: the mic stand in front of them, correct, because they

681
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 3: think it blocks the audience from seeing their body.

682
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 9: I put on this little number because because I thought

683
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 9: it blocked my body.

684
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 2: But that's a lot.

685
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 8: I bought these for the show.

686
00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 1: It was like a Mike stand just happens to be

687
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 1: much thinner.

688
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 8: Yeah, they don't need to know where my belly button is.

689
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 2: A fun game to play.

690
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 4: You don't want a story, I can give us guess

691
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 4: our podcast is about news stories.

692
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:33,719
Speaker 2: Uh.

693
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 4: Gus g sent this in Gus gi from just outside

694
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 4: of Denver, Colrad. I'll tell yeah, Gus all my name

695
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 4: follows up with are you going to do this on

696
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 4: the podcast?

697
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 2: And I think this is.

698
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:47,960
Speaker 4: His third story in two hundred and sixty episodes. So

699
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 4: Gus knocking it out of the park.

700
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,160
Speaker 3: I do, I do want to just because you said, Gus,

701
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 3: I'm thinking of my children. I just I have a

702
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 3: new jacket. You'll see me wear it later maybe. And

703
00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:59,320
Speaker 3: it's not like it's you know, it's a's a it's

704
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 3: a swing for me. And I was putting it on.

705
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:05,479
Speaker 3: It's from Costco. It was twenty nine dollars and I

706
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 3: put it on. It's my favorite new story. I put

707
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 3: it on for the first time and I was going

708
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:11,400
Speaker 3: to walk the dog and I go, I'll have I'll

709
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 3: have six. And I was like, oh, have you like

710
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 3: my new jacket. She goes, yeah, but it doesn't feel

711
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 3: like you.

712
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:26,800
Speaker 4: Kids are brutal brutal, but Olive could explain it.

713
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 2: That's why all am so brutal, because she would.

714
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 4: Be like, in nineteen twelve they invented the button down cardigan.

715
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,400
Speaker 2: You're like a good okay, Gus.

716
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 4: She sent this in This is in The Insider, written

717
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 4: by Joshua Zitzer, who some people say is they.

718
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 2: Ah broke and we do too.

719
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 4: New Zealand Town has been plagued by drivers blasting Celine

720
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 4: Dion ballads at two am for over one year.

721
00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 1: Wow Wow, Wow, Lucky Town.

722
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 2: I love this. Yeah, this is a true banana.

723
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 1: It's very specific.

724
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 8: Great a singer in the world.

725
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 2: She is, though, is can I ever tell?

726
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 3: Like when I was trying to remember Celine Dion's name

727
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 3: once and I called her Renee Claude.

728
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:23,240
Speaker 8: It's the same.

729
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the same, And Lauren was like, what's wrong

730
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,800
Speaker 3: with you, Renee Claude.

731
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:30,720
Speaker 2: It's all coming back to me now.

732
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 4: The residents of a small city in New Zealand, thank

733
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 4: you for teeing me up, Curtiy Beet, have been during

734
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 4: sleepless nights for months, almost a year due to drivers

735
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 4: blasting Celine Dion songs.

736
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:47,760
Speaker 2: From their cars at the early hours of the morning.

737
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:50,399
Speaker 2: I mean, doesn't this make you want to go tos

738
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 2: heal it? This is awesome?

739
00:34:53,360 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 4: According to Jeansei Francis Press sounds so made up. It's amazing.

740
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 4: I know, I think it's probably all Jeans Jan Jan

741
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 4: let's go Franz PRIs drivers in uh.

742
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:16,799
Speaker 2: Poor re raw Peri raw, Let's go with Peri Rau.

743
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 2: What do you think that is?

744
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 8: Yeah?

745
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:27,239
Speaker 4: Poorira pira, Poorie raw, Perie Rau, Prairie ral hate mal

746
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 4: po box three nine three four eight Los Angeles Nine's

747
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,960
Speaker 4: ears there three nine, a town of sixty thousand people

748
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 4: north of Wellington. Now that one have been loudly playing,

749
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 4: I say, we've just gotten to the details.

750
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,799
Speaker 3: We've been going through so many crazy words and we

751
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 3: haven't gotten to the ideas yet.

752
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:48,439
Speaker 2: That's what Josh Zitzer gets.

753
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:52,240
Speaker 4: You have been playing the loud uh playing the singer's

754
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:54,880
Speaker 4: loud tunes as late as to him, they've been cranking

755
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:57,720
Speaker 4: up the volume on the Canadian songstresses most famous ballts,

756
00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 4: including My Heart Will Go On, It's all coming back

757
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 4: to Me now. And the nocturnal concerts tend to begin

758
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,239
Speaker 4: as early as seven pm and continue.

759
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 2: For many hours thereafter. Wow, here's the greatest name of

760
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,440
Speaker 2: the mayor of this town, Anita Baker.

761
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:17,879
Speaker 4: Yes, Oh, a great singer, Anita Baker, the mayor.

762
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 9: I confuse that with Anita Bryant for a second. I

763
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:21,840
Speaker 9: was like, that's a hate crime.

764
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 4: That is different, Anita. Yeah, that's according to Anita Baker,

765
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 4: the mayor of the town that's just north of Wellington.

766
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:36,359
Speaker 4: In part of these are called siren battles. Trend has

767
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,240
Speaker 4: been going on it strong in New Zealand for several years,

768
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,279
Speaker 4: which appears to be particularly popular with indigenous people from

769
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:43,360
Speaker 4: the Pacific Islands.

770
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:47,920
Speaker 2: Really, it's incredible. I mean it's so good. It's so good.

771
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 2: I already told the story of that.

772
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:50,400
Speaker 4: When I was in Mexico going to the hotel, they

773
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 4: played Michael Bolton's Greatest Hits. So then leaving the hotel,

774
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 4: a different cap driver Michael Bolton's Greatest Hits.

775
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:59,799
Speaker 2: So I know what it's like to suffer, not at all.

776
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:03,840
Speaker 4: Uh. These battles involve rival crews competing to blast the

777
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 4: most powerful and clear sounds from loud speakers attached to

778
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,719
Speaker 4: their cars or bicycles, who.

779
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 2: To win the title of siren King.

780
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 3: Siren King. So the sirens are like singer, what's your name?

781
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 2: So Alie, what's up? And waters go high when others go.

782
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:29,840
Speaker 8: I'm not that kind of lesbian.

783
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 2: People can't catch way up. This is entertainment, thank you.

784
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:46,840
Speaker 2: That's the trouble.

785
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 9: Sometimes they think that you're like a sports lesbian. I'm

786
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 9: like no girl, now, truly, no balls lesbian.

787
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,680
Speaker 2: I can't oh smoke.

788
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 4: So yeah, they compete on and bikes, loudspeakers attached to

789
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 4: play the most powerful and clear sounds to become siren King.

790
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 2: I mean this is fun. Does anybody hear live in

791
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 2: Park Slope? A few? Right? How many people? Has anybody

792
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,760
Speaker 2: lived in Park Slow for like twenty years?

793
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:15,759
Speaker 4: Isn't there a guy that walks up and down the

794
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:19,279
Speaker 4: Avid fifth and seventh and sometimes just sings really high

795
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:20,000
Speaker 4: pitch Kurt, do.

796
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:20,759
Speaker 2: You know what I'm talking about?

797
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 4: No, sort of famous and you would hear him and

798
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 4: he would just walk down the middle of the road

799
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:27,520
Speaker 4: at like one or two am and just sing these

800
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 4: high pitched chirps.

801
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 2: No, okay, uh boy, it's all coming back to me now.

802
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 4: Baker told AFP that the competing vehicles blast music with

803
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 4: their engines running. They love Seline Dion because they like,

804
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:46,440
Speaker 4: quote anyone with a high pitch and great tone in

805
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 4: their voice. Yeah, I love these people. The blasting of

806
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:54,359
Speaker 4: Dion's music began around November of last year, one year ago,

807
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 4: according to Baker, who told AFP that it coincided with

808
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:01,160
Speaker 4: the Samoa making Oh Samoa making the of the Rugby

809
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:02,439
Speaker 4: League World Cup.

810
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:04,839
Speaker 2: You guys made the connection in your house.

811
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:09,359
Speaker 9: These are These are indigenous gangs playing Celine Dion as

812
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 9: part of it. We gotta do land back, guys, We

813
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:16,560
Speaker 9: have got to do land back. Yes, this is the

814
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,280
Speaker 9: way we need to be taken the streets.

815
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 1: Okay.

816
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,319
Speaker 4: So it happens every night, seven days a week, and

817
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:27,040
Speaker 4: it's primarily happening in the city center, but the noise

818
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 4: reverberates into the suburbs, leaving frustrated residents sleep deprived.

819
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 2: I mean, this is incredible.

820
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 4: People are just getting mad, people are just not getting

821
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:41,240
Speaker 4: any sleep because it's all ours.

822
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 2: Baker said. It's really loud music.

823
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 4: They only play a quarter of the song, so so

824
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 4: it's like having a turntable on and it comes screeching out.

825
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:57,799
Speaker 4: Residents have launched a petition calling on the POORI Rue.

826
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:01,840
Speaker 4: I think it's POORI Rue City Council north of Wellington

827
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 4: for excessively all music and sirens. Blah blah blah.

828
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:07,000
Speaker 2: There have been over three hundred signatures.

829
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:12,360
Speaker 4: Ooh remember when those signatures come over an email and

830
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:13,719
Speaker 4: you'd be like, I have to sign this.

831
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:14,719
Speaker 2: Move on.

832
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:16,360
Speaker 4: You'd be like, this is it, this is how we

833
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:18,880
Speaker 4: make a difference. And then nine hundred later they're like,

834
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:21,359
Speaker 4: bring nerve back to toys r US and you're like,

835
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 4: all right, I'll sign it. You got me one signatory.

836
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:30,439
Speaker 4: Stephen Lewis wrote, sleep is a basic human right.

837
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,840
Speaker 2: If council members don't get it, they should be shown

838
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:37,240
Speaker 2: the door. Ooh ooh, the verve.

839
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 4: The mayor who did not respond to Insider's requests for comments,

840
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 4: seems like they did.

841
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 2: I quoted her a lot.

842
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 4: Told AFP she would meet with police to find a resolution.

843
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 4: We know the siren battles are occurring with frustrating, and

844
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:55,800
Speaker 4: we absolutely sympathize with residents concerns.

845
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 2: We are tempting to find solutions blah blah blah. But

846
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 2: there are too many siren an enthusiasts.

847
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 4: They're trying to find a less disruptive time and place

848
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 4: to blast their music. That will never work. The whole

849
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 4: point is you're annoying people with Celene Dion.

850
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:10,800
Speaker 2: But it is beautiful.

851
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 1: I love it.

852
00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:12,880
Speaker 2: Isn't that amazing?

853
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's unpatriotic to not like Celine Dion in Australia

854
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 9: though she's Canadian.

855
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 8: It feels wrong.

856
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 1: Common Commonwealth commonwealth.

857
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:21,719
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's sexist.

858
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,839
Speaker 3: They all think it's all the same, that's Commonwealth for them.

859
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 4: We're just we're minimizing them. I think they know what's up. Also,

860
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 4: you want to hate Celeon Celine Dion, You want to

861
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 4: hate her she's on v H one twenty years ago

862
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 4: all the time.

863
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:40,000
Speaker 2: But then you listen to her singing, You're like, they're real.

864
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 2: She is the greatest we ever had. Yeah.

865
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:44,839
Speaker 9: See, the influencer in me sees this as an opportunity

866
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 9: like loop loop earphones or something. You need to get

867
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 9: in there and be like, we can help you with

868
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 9: this problem. You have a sponsorship, collab with the tribes

869
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,520
Speaker 9: to like make this a better thing for everybody.

870
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,880
Speaker 4: Also, Selene, get in the back of Tacoma, go to

871
00:41:59,000 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 4: North Island.

872
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 9: That would be amazing, or like do a poll like

873
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:04,800
Speaker 9: would you rather hear Beyonce?

874
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 8: Would you rather hear? Like a little Broadway suggestion.

875
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 3: If Celene came and was like, I'm going to win

876
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:14,480
Speaker 3: Siren King of all Time. No one can do this, anybody,

877
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 3: And then she just sits in a flatbed truck with

878
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 3: a thousand speakers and sings one concert and then she says,

879
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:27,320
Speaker 3: now Siren King is over, right, then everyone will be like,

880
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 3: Siren King.

881
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 4: Is over that song. That's the way it is. I

882
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:33,440
Speaker 4: have been driving sometimes that comes on you don't hear it.

883
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,240
Speaker 4: Then you get to it and you're like she's getting

884
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 4: the course, and you're like fuck I'm in.

885
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 2: And you're like, here we go. Who's your biggest pop

886
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,960
Speaker 2: star at the moment? Who you obsessed? You? Well, of

887
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:45,880
Speaker 2: course you're swifty.

888
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,920
Speaker 8: Of course the swifty, yes have to be, have to be.

889
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 9: But I gotta tell you because I drove down here

890
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 9: because I would never miss a chance to hang with

891
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:55,560
Speaker 9: the bananas.

892
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:56,520
Speaker 8: They were like can you be there?

893
00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 2: It was like in the car, Yes you were.

894
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,920
Speaker 8: Thank you downloaded the Britney Spears memoir.

895
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 9: Anybody Britney Spears for me growing up was like my

896
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,279
Speaker 9: ideal and I like got away with having a lot

897
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 9: of nudie pictures around like my room because I was like.

898
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:15,759
Speaker 8: No, Mom, I just want to be like her.

899
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 9: And that worked for years for years, so I.

900
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,359
Speaker 8: Was like, no, mom, I'm just gonna be a pop star.

901
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:28,839
Speaker 8: No anyway. So I'm very deeply connected to her.

902
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:33,880
Speaker 9: I feel everything about her, and this memoir is incredible.

903
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:35,800
Speaker 2: Does she read it with knives?

904
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:37,359
Speaker 8: No, No, she's no, Sir.

905
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 9: Michelle Williams reads it, which is also very healing for

906
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:43,719
Speaker 9: me because I didn't really like her on Dawson's Creek,

907
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:45,279
Speaker 9: but I do like her reading the memoir, so I

908
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 9: feel like we've come full circle. Yeah, Jen annoyed me

909
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:51,759
Speaker 9: on Dawson's Creek. So anyway, she's so glad she's back now.

910
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:55,280
Speaker 9: But the memoir is so good because I have waited

911
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 9: my whole life for Justin Timberlake to be this embarrassed.

912
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:03,520
Speaker 2: I just like, I gotta tell you, he's like he's

913
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:05,360
Speaker 2: been like the perfect kid.

914
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 9: And the king of everything, you know, and like you

915
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:09,879
Speaker 9: were talking about your waiter stories, I was a waiter

916
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:11,239
Speaker 9: in New York City and I had to wait on

917
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:12,320
Speaker 9: Justin and he's.

918
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 8: Very rude to the waiter.

919
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:20,320
Speaker 9: Really inside he was trying to like impress Jennifer Aniston

920
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,760
Speaker 9: at the time. I was like waitering this like SATURDAYNY

921
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,239
Speaker 9: live after party and like just trying to like hold

922
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:27,560
Speaker 9: my face together, and he was like super rude to.

923
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 8: Everybody was and I was like ew.

924
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:31,400
Speaker 9: And then he walked away and Jennifer Aniston turns to

925
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 9: Beyonce and she's like, why is he like that?

926
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:37,960
Speaker 2: Oh no, And I was like timeouts.

927
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:43,759
Speaker 10: Beyonce is just mentioned at the end of this story

928
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:45,919
Speaker 10: also Beyonce.

929
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:51,360
Speaker 8: Beyonce was also there. Adele was there. It's outrageous. It

930
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 8: was outrageous.

931
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:57,520
Speaker 4: These were live after party.

932
00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:04,440
Speaker 9: It was the Saturday Night after Part terrible but the

933
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 9: worst restaurant. Yes, this was a Wildwood barbecue. Oh yeah,

934
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:13,080
Speaker 9: those caminos is a big one. And then Beyonce was like,

935
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:15,160
Speaker 9: I don't let my man act like that. I'm gonna

936
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,239
Speaker 9: tell you, Jennifer, if you're gonna be dating John Mayer,

937
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,560
Speaker 9: that you better not let him act like Justin.

938
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 2: And I was like, this is amazing.

939
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:25,400
Speaker 9: And then I got fired from that job because I

940
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:28,479
Speaker 9: was just like literally at the table, like, yeah, girl,

941
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:35,760
Speaker 9: I will get fired. So I'm so listening to this memoir.

942
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 9: If you haven't listened to it, you have to. The

943
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 9: things that she.

944
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 8: Says about him so casually are things that like I.

945
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,200
Speaker 2: Had to like pull over really at the.

946
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:47,320
Speaker 9: Time, yes, because she's like talking about this really traumatic

947
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 9: experience that she's going through and she's like in pain

948
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 9: on the bathroom floor and no one's there for her.

949
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 8: And then she's like and then he comes in.

950
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 9: I guess he thought it would help to start strumming

951
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 9: his guitar while she's having this like.

952
00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 3: Horrible shit, the worst idea in the best of times.

953
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:07,200
Speaker 9: She's like, he wasn't that great a kisser. I was living, living,

954
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:09,879
Speaker 9: living for it because like as somebody who really wanted

955
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:11,560
Speaker 9: to be Britney Spears's boyfriend.

956
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 8: Turn on JT. I was like, this is redemption for me.

957
00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:21,080
Speaker 9: No, yeah, where I know I would have I would

958
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:22,719
Speaker 9: have never treated Brittany like that.

959
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 2: Never. Never. Yeah, he's gotten exposed.

960
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 8: But it's a great memoir. If you haven't listened.

961
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 4: Now, I will I would assumed Brittaney. I mean, she's

962
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:36,680
Speaker 4: she's going through her own journey right now to write

963
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 4: a book. That's surprising there was one to read her

964
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 4: own book, double surprised.

965
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:44,960
Speaker 2: Yes, did anybody track this?

966
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 3: Someone sent it to me recently on her either TikTok

967
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:50,800
Speaker 3: or Instagram where she just dances to music.

968
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:52,240
Speaker 1: She was dancing.

969
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 3: It was in October, Christmas tree was up and there

970
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:57,440
Speaker 3: was no music.

971
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:03,359
Speaker 2: To you don't kurt to her.

972
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:07,200
Speaker 4: She was rocking around that Christmas tree, but it.

973
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:10,000
Speaker 3: Was just you could just hear like her body moving,

974
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:16,160
Speaker 3: hurt and like some noise in the background, like.

975
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:20,319
Speaker 8: Against some music. You didn't know.

976
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:24,480
Speaker 3: That's so funny. I'll tease us into a break.

977
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:28,040
Speaker 2: I love teasing all right here.

978
00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 3: It is around ten percent of the Internet is encrypted

979
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 3: via lava lamps.

980
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:37,640
Speaker 2: Really damn all.

981
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:39,719
Speaker 4: Right, we'll blow it all up on the back half

982
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 4: of this very special intimate episode of Banana.

983
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:59,839
Speaker 6: Choose from all the way around.

984
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 10: The folks, We are back in Brooklyn.

985
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:17,120
Speaker 2: At the Bellhouse for a.

986
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 8: Lie Banana.

987
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:25,960
Speaker 4: With our very very special guest, v Spear who loves

988
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:29,040
Speaker 4: Britney Spears who hates justin Timberlin.

989
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:29,800
Speaker 2: Should we skip?

990
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:31,759
Speaker 1: Should we skip shout outs and get rid on the

991
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:32,319
Speaker 1: shout outs?

992
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:33,719
Speaker 2: But we do need our confessions.

993
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:34,840
Speaker 1: We do need our confessions.

994
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 4: Nobody go get it for one beer? What delicious best

995
00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:46,880
Speaker 4: in the beers is that is the funniest way to

996
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 4: run to get the box. This is a good run.

997
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 1: We are going to do longest Banana right now.

998
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, who can Who came the first just to see

999
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 3: this show?

1000
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:04,319
Speaker 4: Wiley, that's out there, we know where that is. Boston's

1001
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 4: good for the show. Houston, Boston. We got Boston, and

1002
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 4: we got Houston.

1003
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:14,480
Speaker 3: Houston for the show. For the show, all right, Houston,

1004
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,239
Speaker 3: We don't worry. We got threes, We got three of them.

1005
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:18,280
Speaker 2: Houston.

1006
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:23,840
Speaker 3: Can anybody be Houston, Waco, Waco for the show.

1007
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:25,720
Speaker 2: Waco for the show.

1008
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:36,719
Speaker 1: All right, Waco, Houston, Can anybody be Boston?

1009
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 2: All right?

1010
00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:43,200
Speaker 1: Waco, Houston and Boston. Get up there, Longust Bananas.

1011
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:48,759
Speaker 2: What's your name? Abby? Give it up for Abby? What's

1012
00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 2: your name? Melody? Give it up for Mellady.

1013
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 1: What's your name?

1014
00:49:55,840 --> 00:50:02,840
Speaker 2: Olivia? Get up for Olivia? Oh my, all.

1015
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:05,800
Speaker 3: Right, not going to get into confessions, folks.

1016
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,960
Speaker 8: Gosh, this is like my dream.

1017
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:14,359
Speaker 4: I love gossip and people are giving It's a very

1018
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:15,600
Speaker 4: intimate episode.

1019
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 2: I'm saying it again.

1020
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:20,560
Speaker 9: My mom used to listen to the police scanner and

1021
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 9: have all her girlfriends over and just like talk shit

1022
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 9: about the people in our town.

1023
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 2: That's great.

1024
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:25,719
Speaker 8: This feels like that.

1025
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:27,360
Speaker 2: Is that true?

1026
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:29,319
Speaker 9: Oh yeah, she'd have to police scanner, all her friends

1027
00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:31,000
Speaker 9: that'd sit around. I'd like play six so I could

1028
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,759
Speaker 9: stay home and listen to the girl's talk and she

1029
00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:36,160
Speaker 9: would just like hear about people in our town that

1030
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,839
Speaker 9: we're having problems police. And then my dad had come

1031
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:40,759
Speaker 9: home and she'd like replay it all for him. And

1032
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:42,760
Speaker 9: that feels like this, And I'm excited.

1033
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:44,520
Speaker 2: There's a great book, Carl, you hear.

1034
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 4: Hey, buddy, there's a great book my friend Carl Bennett

1035
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:50,400
Speaker 4: recommended called checked Out Okay, which is a real police

1036
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:52,480
Speaker 4: scanner in Amherst, Massachusetts.

1037
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:53,239
Speaker 2: It's a whole book.

1038
00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 4: You can buy it online and it's just like man

1039
00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:58,840
Speaker 4: reported guy with knife turned out to be raccoon.

1040
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:01,719
Speaker 2: Checked out. Okay. If you need like a.

1041
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:05,600
Speaker 4: Toilet table coffee table book, we're like bag you know,

1042
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:09,040
Speaker 4: gift checked out. Okay, this this amazing book of real

1043
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:10,280
Speaker 4: police scanner stuff.

1044
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:12,840
Speaker 1: Speaking of here's here's our first.

1045
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 2: Question.

1046
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 3: I've dropped over one hundred million dollars of art on

1047
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 3: the floor.

1048
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:24,280
Speaker 1: I know who that's from, and that is true.

1049
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 4: See, this is nice. This is I have a crush

1050
00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 4: on Kurt and Scott. Yeah, that's nice.

1051
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:33,240
Speaker 2: We're a team.

1052
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:35,839
Speaker 3: One time I got drunk at my place of work

1053
00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 3: and smashed a mirror. The next day, when they questioned

1054
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 3: the staff, I stood up and shouted.

1055
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:45,839
Speaker 2: Come on, guys, fess up. Who did this? Absolved? You're absolved.

1056
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:47,520
Speaker 1: That is so funny.

1057
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:50,840
Speaker 9: This one says my sexual awakening was the orgy scene

1058
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:51,799
Speaker 9: in Zoolander.

1059
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:56,359
Speaker 4: Oh so you're either a little younger or it took

1060
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:57,000
Speaker 4: you a minute.

1061
00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:07,239
Speaker 3: I'll tell you my sexual awakening was. Oh boy, no,

1062
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 3: it was on Golden Pond. There's one scene where like

1063
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:22,239
Speaker 3: the young people talk about sucking face and I was like, really, yeah,

1064
00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:26,520
Speaker 3: they're just sucking They just talk about it. It's just verbal. Uh,

1065
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:28,840
Speaker 3: there's no there's no gross, there's nothing.

1066
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:30,279
Speaker 2: This feels universal.

1067
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:34,800
Speaker 4: I blocked my entire family on Find my Friends Today.

1068
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 2: Good. They don't need to know. Well, let them know

1069
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:42,320
Speaker 2: you're here. But other than that, four channe, this.

1070
00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:43,520
Speaker 8: One feels kind of gross.

1071
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 9: But it says at summer camp in middle school, one

1072
00:52:45,719 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 9: of the boys cabins got in trouble for taking turns

1073
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:51,840
Speaker 9: farting into a straw that was in a sleeping cabin

1074
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:52,760
Speaker 9: mate's mouth.

1075
00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:57,880
Speaker 3: Whoa, this was the straw up the butt?

1076
00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:01,560
Speaker 8: What did you even do such a thing?

1077
00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 2: Put a straw up a butt?

1078
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:04,359
Speaker 8: You're gonna see that.

1079
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:08,680
Speaker 4: At folsomness easy easy tailpipe in it their tailpipe?

1080
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:15,560
Speaker 3: You one you seen. That was the craziest scene. That

1081
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:18,400
Speaker 3: was the craziest scene in the Departed. There is a

1082
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 3: scene in The Departed where Jack Nicholson has a straw

1083
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:26,040
Speaker 3: in a woman's butthole and he's pouring cocaine into her

1084
00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 3: butthole and he just goes, you tell me when you've

1085
00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:32,560
Speaker 3: had enohing, when you can't feel nothing, And it's just like,

1086
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:33,920
Speaker 3: what the fuck?

1087
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:36,440
Speaker 2: Who that means?

1088
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:39,400
Speaker 1: That that's something that uh?

1089
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:40,280
Speaker 2: What's his face?

1090
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:43,799
Speaker 3: Actually did what the director said Scorsese.

1091
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,120
Speaker 2: Scorre says he did that, so there are you kidding?

1092
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 4: Hurt every movie he's made in the last thirty five years,

1093
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 4: we're just like God, damn I miss cocaine. Yeah, every

1094
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:54,680
Speaker 4: movie he's like God, coke was cool, Wasn't.

1095
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:58,560
Speaker 2: It was cool? I guess it was was cool. It's

1096
00:53:58,600 --> 00:53:59,080
Speaker 2: too bad.

1097
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:01,440
Speaker 1: Rip can't do it.

1098
00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 8: Two drugs.

1099
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:06,320
Speaker 1: Don't do drugs anymore.

1100
00:54:06,719 --> 00:54:08,160
Speaker 2: My dad was a minister.

1101
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:11,520
Speaker 4: I spent my younger years going to church and hardly

1102
00:54:11,560 --> 00:54:12,239
Speaker 4: remember a thing.

1103
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:14,719
Speaker 2: Good good, that's good.

1104
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:18,200
Speaker 3: This is beautiful, and I understand it completely. I told

1105
00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:19,959
Speaker 3: my husband I need to go to New York City

1106
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:21,160
Speaker 3: to see my son in school.

1107
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:22,480
Speaker 1: But really I came to see curtain.

1108
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:26,360
Speaker 2: I get it, I get it.

1109
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 1: I'm sure you're seeing your son too.

1110
00:54:28,239 --> 00:54:29,000
Speaker 2: Thank you, mommy.

1111
00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:31,120
Speaker 9: We have a polluter. I used to cut up glow

1112
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:32,600
Speaker 9: sticks and pour them into the river.

1113
00:54:32,719 --> 00:54:33,200
Speaker 8: Oops.

1114
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 1: I was that Probably fucking looked awesome.

1115
00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:39,680
Speaker 2: I wonder, I wonder.

1116
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:46,040
Speaker 4: Uh, oh, this is a weird one. I don't even

1117
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 4: know how to read this. Spending with my ex was

1118
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:55,560
Speaker 4: surprisingly pleasant, right, that's what it says, right, Yeah, spending

1119
00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:57,520
Speaker 4: with my ex was surprisingly pleasant.

1120
00:54:57,640 --> 00:55:00,760
Speaker 1: Congratulations, spending the night probably.

1121
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:04,160
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they were just so pleasanted. They were like, well,

1122
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:06,759
Speaker 2: get it out. Europe's offt.

1123
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:13,160
Speaker 9: This one another throwback to when you could do drugs.

1124
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:14,560
Speaker 9: You can't do them anymore, but this one says I

1125
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:16,279
Speaker 9: smoked crack in two thousand and five and.

1126
00:55:16,239 --> 00:55:16,759
Speaker 6: I loved it.

1127
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:20,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I loved it. I hear it crag is whack.

1128
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 2: I hear once you do it crack.

1129
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:22,799
Speaker 3: I did.

1130
00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:24,560
Speaker 1: I did crack once by accident.

1131
00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:27,040
Speaker 2: You accidentally do crack.

1132
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:30,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I lived in Baltimore. That's how I see. I

1133
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:32,040
Speaker 1: live in Baltimore. Was the nineties.

1134
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:34,880
Speaker 3: I was nineteen and I bought what I thought was

1135
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 3: coconu was crack, and then we snorted it.

1136
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:38,839
Speaker 1: So we snorted crack and doesn't really work.

1137
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:40,839
Speaker 2: Uh, there it is.

1138
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:44,640
Speaker 3: That's my story. But it burns and it smells a

1139
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:45,879
Speaker 3: lot like gasoline.

1140
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:50,160
Speaker 9: I feel kind of cool, like sitting next to you,

1141
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:51,399
Speaker 9: like you're a little bit bad now.

1142
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:55,200
Speaker 8: H I want to tell people my friend smoke crack.

1143
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:56,960
Speaker 2: James Taylor.

1144
00:55:57,360 --> 00:55:59,359
Speaker 4: When you see James Taylor, you're like, oh, the guy

1145
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 4: that Singslina.

1146
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:01,840
Speaker 2: I love him.

1147
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:05,439
Speaker 4: And they're like addicted to heroin for twelve years fuck

1148
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:06,480
Speaker 4: five hundred people.

1149
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they're like, but he also sings fire and rain.

1150
00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:15,359
Speaker 9: This one just says I have six toes and I

1151
00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:17,360
Speaker 9: feel like you should have to show us that.

1152
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:26,040
Speaker 2: Oh on total three and three, like three and three.

1153
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:29,759
Speaker 4: It's okay if you don't want to show us, But

1154
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:31,960
Speaker 4: if you have six on one foot and five on

1155
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,800
Speaker 4: the other, I'll give you one big reason why you

1156
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:35,760
Speaker 4: should show us.

1157
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:38,080
Speaker 2: You're absolved.

1158
00:56:38,280 --> 00:56:40,319
Speaker 1: Oh this is great. I love this so much, and

1159
00:56:40,360 --> 00:56:40,960
Speaker 1: you should do this.

1160
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,440
Speaker 3: Still in college, I carried around superglue in a bag

1161
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:45,280
Speaker 3: of Google eyes and I would put them on ads

1162
00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:47,200
Speaker 3: in the subway and on the street man, and I

1163
00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:48,239
Speaker 3: love that so much.

1164
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:52,799
Speaker 2: Oh this is dark. I have a dark one.

1165
00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:56,040
Speaker 4: This feels like the start of a Twilight Zone EPI.

1166
00:56:57,320 --> 00:57:00,120
Speaker 4: You know that show from nine thousand years ago. When

1167
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:03,200
Speaker 4: I was five or six years old, my friend Mary

1168
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:06,360
Speaker 4: showed me a beautiful opal ring in her mother's jewelry

1169
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:08,680
Speaker 4: box and told me that one day it would be

1170
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:11,920
Speaker 4: passed along to her later, when she wasn't looking, I

1171
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 4: took the ring, She.

1172
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:18,320
Speaker 2: Moved away, and we lost touch. I felt horrible.

1173
00:57:19,120 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 4: After several decades, I still have the ring, but never

1174
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:30,720
Speaker 4: wear it. Okay, there's a solution to this, right, Yes,

1175
00:57:33,160 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 4: Banana's advice. Find the person in the audience with six toes.

1176
00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:43,920
Speaker 4: You got a special ring for that magic toe. Let

1177
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:47,400
Speaker 4: them know how special they are. You're absolved. That's fine.

1178
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:50,280
Speaker 4: Also mail it tuminonymously. It would really probably make them

1179
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:50,800
Speaker 4: so happy.

1180
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:54,280
Speaker 9: I'm sort of hopeful that this next person ended up

1181
00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:57,480
Speaker 9: a marine. We'll find out. So in second grade, my

1182
00:57:57,520 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 9: teacher gave the entire class tutsi role. She told us

1183
00:57:59,800 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 9: not to eat them, but I immediately ate mine. She

1184
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 9: saw me chewing it and called me out. She then

1185
00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:07,120
Speaker 9: asked what I was eating, and I told her a crayon.

1186
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:10,320
Speaker 2: Smart.

1187
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:13,280
Speaker 9: For some reason, I thought it would be less embarrassing

1188
00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:15,040
Speaker 9: to say that I ate a cryan.

1189
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:18,080
Speaker 8: I was wrong. I'm now a marine.

1190
00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:24,479
Speaker 4: That's cool. That's also pretty one morning stand it off.

1191
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:27,200
Speaker 1: I use my roommate's towel to wipe off my vibrator.

1192
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:34,760
Speaker 2: But you are absolved, and that is cut fashion fashions,

1193
00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:52,680
Speaker 2: get them. That's so upsetting. Who likes to party? I

1194
00:58:52,720 --> 00:58:53,360
Speaker 2: don't know why.

1195
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 8: I think it's so funny.

1196
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 2: Oh no, we're doing it on purposely. We're doing it

1197
00:58:58,720 --> 00:58:59,320
Speaker 2: on purpose.

1198
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're doing it, you guys like fun.

1199
00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:12,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, wow, all right here it is around ten percent

1200
00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:14,880
Speaker 3: of the Internet is encrypted via lava lamps.

1201
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:18,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I don't even understand it. Let's get into it.

1202
00:59:18,160 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 3: Let's get into it. This was I think. I don't know,

1203
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:24,840
Speaker 3: I might have felt. I don't know what this is

1204
00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:30,320
Speaker 3: on ifl science. I fucking love science. Written by James Felton,

1205
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:31,360
Speaker 3: who is said to.

1206
00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:43,520
Speaker 2: Be the thank you. It's very tragic. It works every time.

1207
00:59:43,680 --> 00:59:47,040
Speaker 3: Oh good, We don't want to sound completely unhinged like

1208
00:59:47,120 --> 00:59:50,400
Speaker 3: someone yelling sharks have been around the galaxy twice they have.

1209
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:54,040
Speaker 3: Or mcflury's look the way they do because of hedgehogs.

1210
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:56,760
Speaker 2: They do. Uh and I looked that up.

1211
00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:59,320
Speaker 1: I look both of those things up and it's very exciting.

1212
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:02,840
Speaker 3: Cool. Oh, but around ten percent of the Internet is

1213
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:04,480
Speaker 3: encrypted via lava lamps.

1214
01:00:05,320 --> 01:00:07,560
Speaker 1: So mcflury, I'll tell you about the mcflury's thing.

1215
01:00:08,720 --> 01:00:09,440
Speaker 2: Damn right.

1216
01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:11,240
Speaker 1: They look the way they do because of hedgehogs.

1217
01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:15,600
Speaker 3: Because for some reason hedgehog society in Britain, hedgehogs were

1218
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:20,560
Speaker 3: putting their heads into the hole on the Apparently in

1219
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:26,000
Speaker 3: England people are eating mcflurry's like crazy I've never seen

1220
01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:28,920
Speaker 3: a mcflurry live because the machine's always broke in.

1221
01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:30,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, true, Yeah exactly.

1222
01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:34,880
Speaker 3: And so they reduced the size of the hole on

1223
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:39,360
Speaker 3: the mcflurry because of hedgehogs, the Hedgehog Society of the UK.

1224
01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:43,080
Speaker 3: It's an amazing story. I guess I should have done

1225
01:00:43,120 --> 01:00:47,200
Speaker 3: it anyway. But yeah, ten percent of the Internet's encrypted

1226
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:50,000
Speaker 3: via lava lamps encryption and its most basic form.

1227
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:51,320
Speaker 1: Oh, in the other one, I'll just tell you, I'm

1228
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:52,520
Speaker 1: so sorry. I was so excited.

1229
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:54,280
Speaker 2: Never apologize.

1230
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:56,880
Speaker 3: Sharks have been around the galaxy twice. They've just been

1231
01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:59,720
Speaker 3: around so long that the Earth has actually gone.

1232
01:00:59,640 --> 01:01:02,280
Speaker 1: All way around criticulously twice.

1233
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:04,080
Speaker 2: Critical for sharks.

1234
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:08,320
Speaker 3: Encryption in its most basic form is scrambling data so

1235
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:11,040
Speaker 3: that only the center and recipient with the encryption keys

1236
01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:14,680
Speaker 3: can read it. We know, though now associated with computing.

1237
01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:18,440
Speaker 3: Encryption has been around for centuries. Blah blah blah.

1238
01:01:18,600 --> 01:01:20,720
Speaker 1: Encryption varies in complexity.

1239
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:25,040
Speaker 3: By using simple substitution ciphers E GA equals b, B

1240
01:01:25,120 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 3: equals see and so on, you're taking plaintext and converting

1241
01:01:27,800 --> 01:01:31,720
Speaker 3: it into encrypted ciphertext, okay, whilst which someone else can

1242
01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:34,439
Speaker 3: convert back to readable text if they have the key.

1243
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:35,400
Speaker 1: Okay.

1244
01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:39,520
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, in computer encryption, fifty six bit encryption keys with

1245
01:01:39,840 --> 01:01:45,640
Speaker 3: seventy two qua trillion possibilities proved themselves to be too

1246
01:01:45,680 --> 01:01:48,800
Speaker 3: easy to crack when they were solved by security experts

1247
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:54,720
Speaker 3: on refurbished computer equipment within fifty six hours.

1248
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:58,720
Speaker 2: This is so much thank you.

1249
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:01,760
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah blah.

1250
01:02:01,840 --> 01:02:04,720
Speaker 3: Okay, there's so much more shit about encryption and what

1251
01:02:04,760 --> 01:02:05,160
Speaker 3: it is.

1252
01:02:05,520 --> 01:02:06,440
Speaker 2: I think we all know.

1253
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:10,480
Speaker 3: If you scrambling stuff up and then you tell somebody else,

1254
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:11,920
Speaker 3: this is how you unscramble it.

1255
01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:14,120
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, that's right, that's what I do.

1256
01:02:14,360 --> 01:02:16,080
Speaker 1: So here is the quote from the person.

1257
01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:22,400
Speaker 3: To produce the unpredictable chaotic data necessary for strong encryption,

1258
01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:25,760
Speaker 3: a computer must have a source of random data.

1259
01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:28,680
Speaker 2: And computers are very.

1260
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:32,240
Speaker 3: Very bad at actually picking random numbers. And that is

1261
01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:34,280
Speaker 3: why if you, like, if you ever had back in

1262
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:37,560
Speaker 3: the nineties, none of you did, but like a like

1263
01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:39,960
Speaker 3: a five disc CD player that was supposed to be

1264
01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:43,480
Speaker 3: put on random, and it would just play like the

1265
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:46,360
Speaker 3: same song like eight times in a row. It's because

1266
01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:50,680
Speaker 3: it's just really bad at doing random things. Because okay,

1267
01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:54,960
Speaker 3: I won't say why. It's really dorky to produce the

1268
01:02:55,040 --> 01:02:57,720
Speaker 3: unpredictable category. The real world turns out to be a

1269
01:02:57,760 --> 01:03:01,840
Speaker 3: great source for randomness because events the physical world are unpredictable.

1270
01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:04,040
Speaker 2: Cloud Fare, which encrypts up to.

1271
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:07,440
Speaker 3: Ten percent of the Internet using the lava lamp method,

1272
01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:10,920
Speaker 3: explains on their website as one might expect, lava lamps

1273
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:14,280
Speaker 3: are consistently random. The lava and lava lamp never takes

1274
01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:16,640
Speaker 3: the same shape twice, and as a result, observing a

1275
01:03:16,720 --> 01:03:20,560
Speaker 3: group of lava lamps is a great source of random data.

1276
01:03:20,920 --> 01:03:23,200
Speaker 3: So at cloud Fair there is a wall of one

1277
01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:26,840
Speaker 3: hundred lava lamps no Way, which are running and doing

1278
01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:30,680
Speaker 3: their gloopy thing at intervals. A camera pointed at the

1279
01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:34,880
Speaker 3: lamps takes a photo. The random colors of the pixels

1280
01:03:34,920 --> 01:03:38,920
Speaker 3: are then used to create an encryption key. All digital

1281
01:03:38,920 --> 01:03:41,920
Speaker 3: images are really stored by computers as a series of numbers,

1282
01:03:42,160 --> 01:03:45,280
Speaker 3: with each pixel having its own numerical value. Sweech image

1283
01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:47,439
Speaker 3: becomes a string of totally random numbers that the cloud

1284
01:03:47,480 --> 01:03:49,920
Speaker 3: Fair servers can then use as a starting point for

1285
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:54,400
Speaker 3: creating secure encryption keys. The unpredictable nature of this key,

1286
01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:56,880
Speaker 3: with no obvious patterns to the long number string that

1287
01:03:56,920 --> 01:03:59,240
Speaker 3: can be discerned and used to crack the code, makes

1288
01:03:59,240 --> 01:04:03,560
Speaker 3: it very effective as an encryption method, whilst also giving

1289
01:04:03,560 --> 01:04:07,320
Speaker 3: your data a nice retro seventies vibe as a side product.

1290
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:13,800
Speaker 4: I'm done with that thing, right, But I get what

1291
01:04:13,840 --> 01:04:14,560
Speaker 4: you're saying.

1292
01:04:14,600 --> 01:04:18,040
Speaker 2: But that's crazy. Also, is there two?

1293
01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:19,480
Speaker 8: That's crazy? He's in Brooklyn.

1294
01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:23,080
Speaker 2: It's over, show us, the shows them lamps?

1295
01:04:24,280 --> 01:04:26,400
Speaker 8: Can I do anything about my comments section?

1296
01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:29,680
Speaker 4: Never one needs never owned one who had a lava

1297
01:04:29,720 --> 01:04:30,520
Speaker 4: lamp and call it?

1298
01:04:32,880 --> 01:04:35,640
Speaker 2: Who filled an empty alcohol bottle.

1299
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:37,439
Speaker 4: With black light fluid so you could turn a black

1300
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:39,320
Speaker 4: light on and call it?

1301
01:04:39,480 --> 01:04:39,800
Speaker 2: I had?

1302
01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:41,720
Speaker 1: I had it in high school. High school.

1303
01:04:41,960 --> 01:04:43,040
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ.

1304
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:45,000
Speaker 1: This is this guy?

1305
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:46,160
Speaker 2: This guy.

1306
01:04:46,360 --> 01:04:50,480
Speaker 4: That's so they basically just study lava lamps being random

1307
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:51,680
Speaker 4: to encrypt shit.

1308
01:04:51,840 --> 01:04:52,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1309
01:04:52,080 --> 01:04:57,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, So speaking of old old timey things.

1310
01:04:56,880 --> 01:04:59,000
Speaker 2: Okay, natural Transition.

1311
01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:02,560
Speaker 3: I was and I remember this is probably the first

1312
01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:04,600
Speaker 3: time I visited New York City.

1313
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:05,040
Speaker 2: Cool.

1314
01:05:05,480 --> 01:05:08,600
Speaker 3: I was staying with John Daly and Brett Gellman. They

1315
01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:13,360
Speaker 3: had they had an apartment in green Point and at

1316
01:05:13,520 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 3: and at the time, this was nineteen ninety eight, and

1317
01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:20,880
Speaker 3: at the time it was like, ugh, it was such

1318
01:05:20,920 --> 01:05:24,160
Speaker 3: a far walk from the l and uh, it was

1319
01:05:24,200 --> 01:05:25,320
Speaker 3: like a twenty minute.

1320
01:05:25,040 --> 01:05:26,160
Speaker 2: Walk from Yeah, that's deep.

1321
01:05:26,320 --> 01:05:29,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, and and it was and and once you got there,

1322
01:05:29,280 --> 01:05:32,160
Speaker 3: at that point it was all Polish and it was

1323
01:05:32,280 --> 01:05:33,200
Speaker 3: there was nothing.

1324
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:36,120
Speaker 1: You couldn't get a bagel, right, it was just like

1325
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:37,240
Speaker 1: just like.

1326
01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:38,960
Speaker 2: Whatever Blescas or whatever.

1327
01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:42,080
Speaker 1: Uh bless and soles.

1328
01:05:42,560 --> 01:05:45,600
Speaker 3: Blesca's they're delicious. I don't know I made that up,

1329
01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:50,560
Speaker 3: but Blesco's a little blesskas. You point you get a Blessco.

1330
01:05:52,680 --> 01:05:53,640
Speaker 1: We're walking home.

1331
01:05:53,800 --> 01:05:57,240
Speaker 3: It's probably three in the morning, and there's a there's

1332
01:05:57,320 --> 01:06:02,400
Speaker 3: a bar right before that small park off of Jewel.

1333
01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:04,800
Speaker 4: Streetw come on, you guys are Brooklyn Nights.

1334
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:06,040
Speaker 2: What's off Jewel Street?

1335
01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:07,080
Speaker 1: Do you remember Jewel Street?

1336
01:06:08,080 --> 01:06:10,240
Speaker 2: Is it a park? What's that park?

1337
01:06:10,280 --> 01:06:11,320
Speaker 1: That little bagels?

1338
01:06:11,320 --> 01:06:13,200
Speaker 8: So i'd never bar on.

1339
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:14,840
Speaker 1: The corner right in front of that park.

1340
01:06:15,280 --> 01:06:18,760
Speaker 3: And uh so we're walking by and they had just closed,

1341
01:06:19,280 --> 01:06:22,200
Speaker 3: and so they had kicked everyone out onto the street, Yes, sir,

1342
01:06:22,440 --> 01:06:25,640
Speaker 3: But who was out on the street was just like

1343
01:06:25,840 --> 01:06:27,640
Speaker 3: eighty to ninety year old men.

1344
01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:32,600
Speaker 1: And there was two men who were having a fight.

1345
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:36,680
Speaker 3: And they and we were walking up and we were

1346
01:06:36,720 --> 01:06:40,200
Speaker 3: walking and it was the most amazing fight I've ever

1347
01:06:40,280 --> 01:06:45,800
Speaker 3: seen because it was all happening like these men were decrepit,

1348
01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:50,320
Speaker 3: like days from dying, and they were so drunk and.

1349
01:06:50,240 --> 01:06:52,960
Speaker 8: They were blasting selene dion at each.

1350
01:06:52,720 --> 01:06:56,360
Speaker 4: Other and they were only thirty seven years old. They

1351
01:06:56,440 --> 01:06:58,480
Speaker 4: live hard, fallen lives hard.

1352
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:01,439
Speaker 1: And you watched them.

1353
01:07:01,760 --> 01:07:05,480
Speaker 3: One pushed the other and then it was like push

1354
01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:09,240
Speaker 3: and then it was like a step back, was very

1355
01:07:09,280 --> 01:07:14,200
Speaker 3: slow recovery, and then that one was like just what

1356
01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:18,080
Speaker 3: he started like going back like this like a pop Eye,

1357
01:07:18,160 --> 01:07:19,480
Speaker 3: like Popeye.

1358
01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:20,800
Speaker 2: Winding up for a.

1359
01:07:21,840 --> 01:07:25,240
Speaker 3: And he just went like this and then it was

1360
01:07:25,280 --> 01:07:27,880
Speaker 3: just slowly coming at the other one, and the other

1361
01:07:27,920 --> 01:07:32,640
Speaker 3: one just stood there and didn't do anything, and it

1362
01:07:32,720 --> 01:07:36,840
Speaker 3: was just like what there was like Bob, and it

1363
01:07:36,920 --> 01:07:41,760
Speaker 3: knocked the guy's glasses off, and then he and then

1364
01:07:41,800 --> 01:07:45,680
Speaker 3: his glasses fell and then he like y slowly picked

1365
01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:49,360
Speaker 3: his glasses up. But he's picking his glasses up. The

1366
01:07:49,400 --> 01:07:55,560
Speaker 3: guy who punched him just starts like escaping, but the escape.

1367
01:07:55,240 --> 01:07:55,560
Speaker 2: Was like.

1368
01:08:00,280 --> 01:08:03,280
Speaker 3: And then just starts yelling at him while he's down

1369
01:08:03,320 --> 01:08:06,280
Speaker 3: on the ground getting his glasses, and he just starts going,

1370
01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:15,520
Speaker 3: no bread, no butter, any body, Okay, okay, I see

1371
01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:16,000
Speaker 3: what he's.

1372
01:08:15,840 --> 01:08:20,080
Speaker 4: Saying, which in Polish means I see what he says,

1373
01:08:20,240 --> 01:08:20,840
Speaker 4: and I was.

1374
01:08:20,880 --> 01:08:24,160
Speaker 2: Like, what is this fight about?

1375
01:08:25,080 --> 01:08:30,320
Speaker 3: It's about no breader, no bread, no butter, anybody. And

1376
01:08:30,360 --> 01:08:32,960
Speaker 3: then he just escaped and they that guy did not

1377
01:08:33,160 --> 01:08:37,360
Speaker 3: chase him. And that was then for the entire that

1378
01:08:37,600 --> 01:08:41,280
Speaker 3: entire trip, it was every day it was just no bread,

1379
01:08:41,680 --> 01:08:45,480
Speaker 3: no butter, anybody.

1380
01:08:46,640 --> 01:08:47,439
Speaker 2: That's so fad.

1381
01:08:47,479 --> 01:08:49,960
Speaker 9: I'm surprised you didn't jump in. Have you ever jumped

1382
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:53,120
Speaker 9: into somebody else's fight? No, I jumped into somebody else's fight.

1383
01:08:53,240 --> 01:08:55,639
Speaker 8: Okay.

1384
01:08:55,800 --> 01:08:58,120
Speaker 9: So I was in DC and I was in a

1385
01:08:58,160 --> 01:09:00,519
Speaker 9: cab and I just started dating my wife, and I

1386
01:09:00,560 --> 01:09:02,360
Speaker 9: wanted her to think that I was tough because I

1387
01:09:02,439 --> 01:09:02,840
Speaker 9: am not.

1388
01:09:03,680 --> 01:09:06,040
Speaker 8: And but I thought I would be so breathed.

1389
01:09:06,160 --> 01:09:07,080
Speaker 2: Doesn't this happen?

1390
01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:12,479
Speaker 4: Like I feel like when they're in new relationships, one

1391
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:14,679
Speaker 4: of them is always like, I almost got in a fight.

1392
01:09:14,880 --> 01:09:15,080
Speaker 2: Yes.

1393
01:09:15,479 --> 01:09:21,600
Speaker 9: So I we're in DC and Adams Morgan anybody from DC.

1394
01:09:21,880 --> 01:09:25,559
Speaker 9: So it's where all the young staffers, It's where all.

1395
01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:26,720
Speaker 8: The young staffers hang out.

1396
01:09:26,720 --> 01:09:29,759
Speaker 9: And I saw these two boys like literally fighting so hard,

1397
01:09:29,840 --> 01:09:33,000
Speaker 9: and me decide, I'm gonna impress my wife jump out

1398
01:09:33,080 --> 01:09:33,679
Speaker 9: of the cab.

1399
01:09:34,320 --> 01:09:36,520
Speaker 8: So I like leap out of the cab.

1400
01:09:37,040 --> 01:09:40,120
Speaker 2: Get out of the cab, like like are.

1401
01:09:39,960 --> 01:09:44,080
Speaker 9: You watching, and like grabbed this man by his underwear,

1402
01:09:44,240 --> 01:09:47,000
Speaker 9: which was not the point. I meant to grab his belt,

1403
01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:49,559
Speaker 9: but I got like so I ended up giving this

1404
01:09:49,800 --> 01:09:55,240
Speaker 9: full grown congressman like a weggie. And then they looked

1405
01:09:55,240 --> 01:09:57,120
Speaker 9: at me like we're gonna fight you. And then I

1406
01:09:57,200 --> 01:09:59,040
Speaker 9: just ran back in the car and we got cookies.

1407
01:09:59,560 --> 01:10:03,160
Speaker 9: Sh I think I was the very brave Yes you were,

1408
01:10:03,720 --> 01:10:04,720
Speaker 9: yes you were.

1409
01:10:05,520 --> 01:10:08,400
Speaker 2: But the guy here, yes you were.

1410
01:10:08,560 --> 01:10:10,519
Speaker 9: You have to jump in, you know. The guy who

1411
01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:12,040
Speaker 9: got the wedgie turned around like.

1412
01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:15,360
Speaker 2: What is going on? Dress?

1413
01:10:15,479 --> 01:10:20,439
Speaker 9: And then the guy fighting him was like, man, anyway,

1414
01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:22,000
Speaker 9: you got it. If you have the chance to jump

1415
01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:23,519
Speaker 9: in somebody else's fight, yeah.

1416
01:10:23,479 --> 01:10:24,400
Speaker 2: Jump in, all right.

1417
01:10:25,160 --> 01:10:28,040
Speaker 3: I mean like, I don't do that because I saw

1418
01:10:28,120 --> 01:10:30,040
Speaker 3: stand by me and I know how that guy died.

1419
01:10:30,360 --> 01:10:31,240
Speaker 8: It'll shock him.

1420
01:10:31,400 --> 01:10:31,599
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1421
01:10:31,680 --> 01:10:33,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, you got here killed right at the end.

1422
01:10:33,880 --> 01:10:35,920
Speaker 3: He's got it. We got five minutes left. Do you

1423
01:10:35,960 --> 01:10:37,040
Speaker 3: have a fight story?

1424
01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:41,120
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, all right, look like a fight.

1425
01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:41,960
Speaker 8: He got good legs.

1426
01:10:42,200 --> 01:10:45,920
Speaker 4: Oh no, I was funny. I was little. So in

1427
01:10:46,000 --> 01:10:47,960
Speaker 4: eighth grade I was five to four. In ninth grade,

1428
01:10:47,960 --> 01:10:51,280
Speaker 4: I was six to one, so I in my eighth

1429
01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:51,920
Speaker 4: grade photo.

1430
01:10:51,960 --> 01:10:54,600
Speaker 2: I was in the front holding the sign that said Sacred.

1431
01:10:54,360 --> 01:10:57,800
Speaker 4: Heart, like like little bow tie like and then yeah,

1432
01:10:58,000 --> 01:11:00,320
Speaker 4: ninth grade, I'm like it some tall and just standing

1433
01:11:00,320 --> 01:11:02,879
Speaker 4: into the soccer photo like fuck you, I know everything

1434
01:11:03,479 --> 01:11:08,000
Speaker 4: I can reach quacker oats off the top shelf. So

1435
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:10,720
Speaker 4: so I was in one fight, but then it had

1436
01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:11,680
Speaker 4: an aftershock.

1437
01:11:11,920 --> 01:11:14,080
Speaker 2: So I'll talk a little bit more about the aftershock.

1438
01:11:14,880 --> 01:11:15,200
Speaker 2: So there.

1439
01:11:15,360 --> 01:11:18,439
Speaker 4: I'm from Reserstown, Maryland. There's a thing called the Riserstown Festival.

1440
01:11:18,520 --> 01:11:21,080
Speaker 4: Nobody's ever heard of it. They sell fart spray. That's

1441
01:11:21,120 --> 01:11:24,280
Speaker 4: probably the highlight. The Guess Who came one year and

1442
01:11:24,320 --> 01:11:27,200
Speaker 4: they sung and nobody enjoyed it.

1443
01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:30,000
Speaker 3: It's interesting that a band played called the Guess Who,

1444
01:11:30,400 --> 01:11:33,160
Speaker 3: because there was already The Who. And they're like, now

1445
01:11:33,160 --> 01:11:34,840
Speaker 3: we're the Guests Who. And that's people are like, go

1446
01:11:34,960 --> 01:11:35,559
Speaker 3: fuck yourself.

1447
01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:38,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right. The Flying Beetles, You're like cool, they're

1448
01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:39,080
Speaker 2: good too.

1449
01:11:39,439 --> 01:11:42,599
Speaker 4: Uh my guitar gently stops.

1450
01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:47,680
Speaker 2: And so there were two brothers. She used their real name.

1451
01:11:47,800 --> 01:11:50,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, use then you can always you can always bleep it.

1452
01:11:50,560 --> 01:11:51,479
Speaker 2: You can always bleep it.

1453
01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:56,599
Speaker 4: Or Katie Levine, our beloved producer just bleep their names,

1454
01:11:56,640 --> 01:11:59,040
Speaker 4: their name, We're what that.

1455
01:12:01,000 --> 01:12:02,519
Speaker 2: My best friend was his dude, Kyle.

1456
01:12:02,640 --> 01:12:04,280
Speaker 4: Loved Kyle, who was a great guy, and we went

1457
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:06,920
Speaker 4: to the festival. I'm in ninth grade, eighth or ninth

1458
01:12:06,920 --> 01:12:09,800
Speaker 4: grade and maybe the summer between and one of the

1459
01:12:09,840 --> 01:12:12,000
Speaker 4: brothers wanted to fight Kyle.

1460
01:12:12,560 --> 01:12:14,760
Speaker 2: And I'm just along for the ride. I'm the funny guy.

1461
01:12:15,680 --> 01:12:18,360
Speaker 4: And so they get into a fistfight and then his

1462
01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:21,760
Speaker 4: brother comes right at me and we simultaneously punch each

1463
01:12:21,760 --> 01:12:22,439
Speaker 4: other in the neck.

1464
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:23,559
Speaker 2: In the neck.

1465
01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:26,840
Speaker 4: Oh, and he was a big guy. He was a

1466
01:12:27,320 --> 01:12:28,160
Speaker 4: rotund man.

1467
01:12:31,640 --> 01:12:33,120
Speaker 1: That was a child move.

1468
01:12:33,400 --> 01:12:35,519
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I was five to four the year before.

1469
01:12:35,560 --> 01:12:37,720
Speaker 4: That would have been a serious uppercut, but I was,

1470
01:12:38,320 --> 01:12:40,280
Speaker 4: you know, five to eleven. Then, so right to the

1471
01:12:40,320 --> 01:12:43,120
Speaker 4: neck and then we both were stunned and then we

1472
01:12:43,160 --> 01:12:43,880
Speaker 4: swung and hit.

1473
01:12:43,760 --> 01:12:46,920
Speaker 2: Each other again in the neck, no double neck punch.

1474
01:12:48,320 --> 01:12:51,400
Speaker 4: And then I was friends with all the Puerto Rican

1475
01:12:51,439 --> 01:12:54,479
Speaker 4: American students in my high school. They had a little

1476
01:12:55,080 --> 01:12:57,960
Speaker 4: group of dudes that fought everybody, and the leader was

1477
01:12:58,000 --> 01:13:00,760
Speaker 4: this Tau's name was Noel le Ponte, and he loved me,

1478
01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:02,840
Speaker 4: and he goes, I'm gonna fuck them up, and they

1479
01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:05,080
Speaker 4: dump trash cans over their heads and beat.

1480
01:13:04,920 --> 01:13:05,519
Speaker 2: The shit out of it.

1481
01:13:07,680 --> 01:13:11,080
Speaker 3: So that's the first part the Okay, that's the first part.

1482
01:13:11,200 --> 01:13:12,400
Speaker 2: That's the fun part.

1483
01:13:13,400 --> 01:13:15,240
Speaker 1: Now we're gonna get to the sad part to end

1484
01:13:15,240 --> 01:13:15,639
Speaker 1: the show.

1485
01:13:15,880 --> 01:13:17,519
Speaker 2: Yeah that's right.

1486
01:13:19,640 --> 01:13:26,400
Speaker 4: Nope, so God So about about six months later where

1487
01:13:26,640 --> 01:13:28,840
Speaker 4: it's like, all that's you know, we just haven't talked

1488
01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:31,040
Speaker 4: to each other since their fight got broken up. I

1489
01:13:31,080 --> 01:13:34,360
Speaker 4: got saved by Noel. And where I'm at a pool,

1490
01:13:34,560 --> 01:13:35,679
Speaker 4: so I'm in a swim suit.

1491
01:13:35,680 --> 01:13:36,760
Speaker 2: We're all playing.

1492
01:13:36,520 --> 01:13:40,200
Speaker 4: Volleyball, so different vibe.

1493
01:13:39,320 --> 01:13:40,599
Speaker 2: And it was adult swim.

1494
01:13:40,640 --> 01:13:43,439
Speaker 4: So all the adults are swimming and I'm playing volleyball,

1495
01:13:43,479 --> 01:13:45,679
Speaker 4: and then they blow the whistle for everybody can be back.

1496
01:13:45,560 --> 01:13:48,599
Speaker 2: In the pool and uh, Katie block it out.

1497
01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:54,680
Speaker 4: Are playing basketball, and so adult Swim's over. So I

1498
01:13:54,960 --> 01:13:58,639
Speaker 4: punt the volleyball as high as you can punt a volleyball.

1499
01:13:58,680 --> 01:14:00,640
Speaker 4: I was a good soccer player, and I gave this

1500
01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:03,519
Speaker 4: thing a ride and it went up over the trees

1501
01:14:04,000 --> 01:14:06,200
Speaker 4: and the guy that I double neck punched it came

1502
01:14:06,320 --> 01:14:09,120
Speaker 4: down and went and hit him directly in the face

1503
01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:11,919
Speaker 4: while he was going for a rebound.

1504
01:14:12,040 --> 01:14:13,920
Speaker 2: So this guy was just going like.

1505
01:14:13,880 --> 01:14:16,960
Speaker 4: This, and then through the trees a volley him in

1506
01:14:17,000 --> 01:14:19,000
Speaker 4: the face and then they turned and see me.

1507
01:14:20,040 --> 01:14:21,480
Speaker 2: And the true story.

1508
01:14:21,240 --> 01:14:24,080
Speaker 4: Is I jumped in the water and just swam away

1509
01:14:24,120 --> 01:14:29,639
Speaker 4: from them.

1510
01:14:26,640 --> 01:14:30,080
Speaker 2: For forty five minutes. That is the way you do it.

1511
01:14:30,280 --> 01:14:32,559
Speaker 2: That's that is bananas.

1512
01:14:33,200 --> 01:14:39,200
Speaker 10: Thank you very much, give me, smeear they getting you, Brooklyn.

1513
01:14:40,840 --> 01:14:42,360
Speaker 2: Thank you guys, and.

1514
01:14:42,720 --> 01:14:46,000
Speaker 10: Let's end this show with you guys saying bananas on.

1515
01:14:46,000 --> 01:14:51,840
Speaker 2: Three one two three, good night, good night.

1516
01:14:51,960 --> 01:15:05,280
Speaker 4: Got Bananas is an exactly right media production. Our producer

1517
01:15:05,320 --> 01:15:08,720
Speaker 4: and engineer is Katie Levine. The catchy Bananas theme song

1518
01:15:08,800 --> 01:15:10,559
Speaker 4: was composed and performed by Kahon.

1519
01:15:10,800 --> 01:15:14,080
Speaker 1: Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.

1520
01:15:14,080 --> 01:15:16,920
Speaker 4: And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and

1521
01:15:16,960 --> 01:15:17,920
Speaker 4: Georgia Hartstart

1522
01:15:17,960 --> 01:15:22,320
Speaker 3: And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot intern.