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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota and this is Riley, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay storyte hosts, and we got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 1: from the sponsors to keep this show alive.

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Speaker 2: My boyfriend begged to open our relationship then called me

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Speaker 2: a jeeter when I agreed, come on, make up your mind.

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Speaker 2: So my boyfriend twenty three male and I twenty one female,

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Speaker 2: have been together throughout our times at university, coming up

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Speaker 2: on three years now. He is my first relationship and

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Speaker 2: my first body, whereas he has slept with a number

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Speaker 2: of people before we got together. We have spoken before

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Speaker 2: about wanting to have a future together and potentially kids,

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Speaker 2: wants me. Both have a stable source of income for

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Speaker 2: the first time and years we're spending a few months

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Speaker 2: apart as he has a graduate job and I don't.

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Speaker 2: I have been living in my family home and working

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Speaker 2: in hospitality, so we haven't seen each other in a

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Speaker 2: few weeks. Prior to this, our relationship was a little

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Speaker 2: strained due to academic stress and we were arguing for

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Speaker 2: the first time ever. And this comes from unraveled words

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Speaker 2: and if you want to your own story is kind

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Speaker 2: of the r slash okay, storytime subbured it.

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Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Savannah, I'm Riley, and we're.

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Speaker 2: Here to give good advice. Goofy, But we don't have

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Speaker 2: all the answers. We only know what we'd do, So

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Speaker 2: let us know what you would do in the comments,

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Speaker 2: and ope continues. We also almost entirely stopped having spicy

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Speaker 2: sleep for months, and the relationship felt like it was

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Speaker 2: getting dry.

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Speaker 1: Because no one's getting wet. Oh ah, it's true, though,

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Speaker 1: you're not, no red carrot. Everyone's unhappy.

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Speaker 2: No what carrot congress. I have a higher spicy sleep

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Speaker 2: drive than he does anyway, so it was mostly me

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Speaker 2: who was finding this difficult. What what do you mean?

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Speaker 3: What?

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Speaker 1: That's crazy?

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Speaker 2: Crazy?

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Speaker 1: It's fairly common with women having to hire one than men.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's fairly common.

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Speaker 1: No, yes, that's crazy.

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Speaker 2: It's pretty common.

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Speaker 1: I know. We don't usually we don't come across.

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Speaker 2: It's usually like, ah, we've read a lot of stories

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Speaker 2: where women have hired spicy sleep drives.

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Speaker 1: I must not be on on there, you're not listening.

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Speaker 1: I guess I'm not.

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Speaker 2: Come on. We spoke about it, and he suggested we

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Speaker 2: opened up our relationship and allowed each other to see

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Speaker 2: other people until we could move back in together when

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Speaker 2: I found a job in the same city as him.

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Speaker 2: He even implied that the idea of a manageritoin while

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Speaker 2: watching me have spicy sleep with someone else would excite him. Oh,

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Speaker 2: I hate I'm sorry. Sorry, I shouldn't say anything. Whoa

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Speaker 2: whoa watch? Whoa whoa watch? I just think that's weird.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to watch my partner do anything.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's why you don't have to do it. Yes,

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Speaker 2: I know, all right, he does it, but he does

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Speaker 2: seem like he's going to be an a hole. So

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Speaker 2: as much as this might seem strange to other people,

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Speaker 2: I was quite excited he suggested this, as I have

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Speaker 2: never really had the opportunity to explore my identity. I

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Speaker 2: was experiencing some anxiety about the fact that I have

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Speaker 2: only ever been in a committed relationship, and I was

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Speaker 2: worried I would one day regret not exploring more when

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Speaker 2: I was younger. Despite this, I still love him a

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Speaker 2: lot and know he is the one I eventually want

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Speaker 2: to settle down with. Since we opened our relationship about

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Speaker 2: a month ago, I have slept with two people, a

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Speaker 2: girl and a boy. Okay, going well, for you so far, Okay,

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Speaker 2: she's getting it from both love that pass. I met

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Speaker 2: them both on dating apps, and I was very open

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Speaker 2: about the fact I had a boyfriend and I just

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Speaker 2: wanted to explore. Both people were very accepting of this.

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Speaker 2: I enjoyed the experiences a lot, and I ended up

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Speaker 2: spending a few nights with this girl in her apartment.

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Speaker 2: It was mostly just because I find living at home

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Speaker 2: very frustrating after having the freedom of living with my

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Speaker 2: friends and boyfriend throughout UNI, and my parents still treat

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Speaker 2: me like a child. She and I only actually had

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Speaker 2: spicy sleep a couple of times after drinking, and mostly

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Speaker 2: when we would hang out we would just play Minecraft

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Speaker 2: or go to the pub down pretty nice, hot yet nice.

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Speaker 1: This is so.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, I don't need to go to a pub unless

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Speaker 2: they have Old Mount, which, if you're at a pub,

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Speaker 2: maybe you two.

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Speaker 1: What is that?

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Speaker 2: Old Mount is the only drink that I've really found

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Speaker 2: that I like, And I'm like, you know, I usually,

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Speaker 2: you know, I don't mind a cocktail, depending on what

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Speaker 2: the cocktail is, but Old Matt is a it's a

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Speaker 2: hard cider and it is really good.

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Speaker 3: Sounds like it's made by a white man, I think

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Speaker 3: it's from New Zealand, so maybe.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, those white men.

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Speaker 2: It's really good. It's really good. Yeah, they have a

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Speaker 2: bunch of different flavors and they only sell them in

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Speaker 2: the UK and New Zealand. But they're really cares. This

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Speaker 2: is not a sponsorship, but if old Mount wants to

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Speaker 2: send these internationally to me, mmmm. It was more like

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Speaker 2: a friends with benefit situation. I was very open about

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Speaker 2: the fact I was staying at her place with my boyfriend,

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Speaker 2: and she was totally okay with the fact I had

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Speaker 2: a boyfriend. So anyway, my boyfriend has been planning to

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Speaker 2: visit me this coming weekend and I've been thinking about

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Speaker 2: what he said that he would like to have minasatois.

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Speaker 2: I asked this girl about it and she said she

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Speaker 2: would be down. So I brought it up to my

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Speaker 2: boyfriend and his reaction totally shocked me. He went absolutely

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Speaker 2: nuts after finding out I had spicy sleep with this

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Speaker 2: girl and said he had no idea. So, in a

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Speaker 2: surprising turn of events, you are kind of the ahole.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you gotta let everyone know what's happening.

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Speaker 2: How did you what do you mean? He didn't know?

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Speaker 2: What do you mean? In no, what are you saying, like, hey,

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Speaker 2: uh met this girl.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the whole point of like open relationship. Open

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Speaker 3: relationship equals open communication.

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Speaker 2: Yes, super old. You can't just like.

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Speaker 3: Sleep with them or like you know, be be dirty

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Speaker 3: and then just be like by the way this happened, like.

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Speaker 2: That should be a conversation. Yeah, that is a minute

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Speaker 2: by minute conversation.

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Speaker 1: If you want your relationship to be a rock, you

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Speaker 1: have to write on paper that you're scissoring.

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Speaker 2: He feels like he has been cheated on because I

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Speaker 2: didn't explicitly tell him that I had spicy sleep with

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Speaker 2: this girl, only that I had been daying at our

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Speaker 2: place occasionally. Honestly, I agree with him. I fear I

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Speaker 2: must agree with him, and I hate that you're making

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Speaker 2: me do that, Opie, Why because I had other expectations

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Speaker 2: and you've changed that.

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Speaker 1: Okay, the chairman of the sit in the chair man, I.

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Speaker 2: Had other expectations of him. I was on your side,

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Speaker 2: and then you have to make me not be on

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Speaker 2: your side.

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Speaker 3: I completely thought that this was like open relationship, open communication.

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Speaker 1: Open Google calendar.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly, that's the best way.

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Speaker 3: And then and then it turns out you're just a

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Speaker 3: little lying, conniving, little.

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Speaker 2: Little thing, little thing, a little fine. I was sidelined.

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Speaker 2: I assumed that he had also been seeing other people.

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Speaker 2: Why are we assuming anything?

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Speaker 3: Oh that makes yeah?

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Speaker 2: I got you and me as there have been a

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Speaker 2: few nights where he has not replied to me in

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Speaker 2: the evening or asked to call like he usually does. However,

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Speaker 2: he's saying that when he spoke about opening up our relationship,

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Speaker 2: he meant only for me nausee etoits and not for

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Speaker 2: us to explore on my own and Roden kiss Sophia's

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Speaker 2: sexist and always agrees with me. She does get that

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Speaker 2: a lot. And there we are. Even when I agree

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Speaker 2: with the men, I'm still sick, but I really do

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Speaker 2: want to agree with the women. I do think you're joking,

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Speaker 2: but it is the comment that I hear the best.

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Speaker 2: This surprised me, as I got a completely different impression

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Speaker 2: from our initial conversation where we spoke about us both

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Speaker 2: getting a chance to explore before we settled down and

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Speaker 2: became adults. One of my friends from UNI also sent

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Speaker 2: me a screenshot of him on a dating app from

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Speaker 2: a couple of weeks ago, which I told her I

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Speaker 2: was completely fine with, as we were both using them.

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Speaker 1: Interesting.

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Speaker 2: Okay, sorry, okay, and now we're getting a little bit

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Speaker 2: into muddy waters. We're going back to fair game, he says.

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Speaker 2: Now he only had the app to look for a third,

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Speaker 2: not for him to do his own thing.

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Speaker 1: But you got to talk about that.

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Speaker 2: I think the issue you were finding is that both

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Speaker 2: of you are bad at open relationships.

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Speaker 3: Well, I think they had different opinions of what an

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Speaker 3: open relationship is like. He thought it was just being

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Speaker 3: in a monoga twope, but she thought that was seeing

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Speaker 3: other people like not including him.

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Speaker 2: See. Yeah, and that's on both of you.

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Speaker 1: If you want to have one good relationship, you have

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Speaker 1: to be very open with communication. If you want to

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Speaker 1: have a relationship where you open and have other people

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Speaker 1: in it, you have to be really good at talking

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Speaker 1: with other people and planning and scheduling. You have to

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Speaker 1: be type a personality. You have to have that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, wait, where did that go? Oh there was a

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Speaker 2: really funny comment. But I know I just thought too.

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Speaker 2: I said, I can't be sexist. I'm I'm a white

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Speaker 2: man from New Zealand. Now he is saying that he

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Speaker 2: isn't sure if he can look past me cheating on him,

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Speaker 2: and that he needs some time to think about whether

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Speaker 2: or not he wants to be with me. I am

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Speaker 2: completely devastated. I have deleted the apps from my phone

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Speaker 2: and blocked the two people I slept with with no explanation,

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Speaker 2: just continuing the streak of no communication. Wait wait, you

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Speaker 2: blocked the girl who you were having fun with. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: why you were having fun with them? Well, it's too late.

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Speaker 2: I don't like that. Although I did want to explore,

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Speaker 2: I have always been certain that he is the man

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Speaker 2: for me. And we are going to pause for a

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Speaker 2: second because Nita is asking, can we go back to

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Speaker 2: the exact wording in the beginning. We are going to

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Speaker 2: do that. We're going to do that and see exactly

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Speaker 2: what they agreed on. So just to be clear, everyone,

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Speaker 2: boyfriend comes they've been having some difficulties, and he comes

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Speaker 2: to Opee after they haven't really been having any spicy sleep,

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Speaker 2: and he suggested that we open our relationship and allowed

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Speaker 2: each other to see other people until we could move

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Speaker 2: back in together. Uh. He even implied the idea of

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Speaker 2: a manage twa. So that's kind of all Opee gives us,

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Speaker 2: which is not a lot of information, and either means

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Speaker 2: Opee and him didn't talk enough about it, or she's

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Speaker 2: leaving out stuff. I don't know. We get on so well.

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Speaker 2: He is dependable, caring, driven, everything I could ever want

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Speaker 2: in a partner. My friends and family love him, and

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Speaker 2: we also share most of the same friends, so our

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Speaker 2: lives are intertwined. We have even decided on our kids'

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Speaker 2: names and the street we want to live on one day.

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Speaker 1: Don't do this sunt cost fallacy? BS? What all right?

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Speaker 2: I don't even think it's a sunk cost fallacy. I

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Speaker 2: think Op wants to be with him.

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Speaker 1: I don't. It doesn't feel like that to me. I

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Speaker 1: could see where you're thinking, but it feels like she's

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Speaker 1: established ground in this whole world already with this person.

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Speaker 1: We already have our kids. I have to pick a

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Speaker 1: mouse with someone else.

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Speaker 2: It's just give it up. I can't use those names again. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: do you have to come up with new names every

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Speaker 2: time you have a new partner.

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Speaker 1: I am thinking about that because I want to name

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Speaker 1: my kid Charlotte. I shouldn't go by Charlie.

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Speaker 2: And you already did you already talk about that with

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Speaker 2: an ex partner?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? And she's married and might have kids soon, So

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Speaker 1: I'll just see if.

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Speaker 2: If one of them is Charlotte man who gets DIBs

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Speaker 2: on the name when you break up.

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Speaker 3: Oh, my ex didn't even care. He's like, I don't care.

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Speaker 1: I was like, okay, that doesn't apply here.

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Speaker 2: Oh I'm just saying some people don't care. Some people

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Speaker 2: just don't care. Some people don't care, and so I

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Speaker 2: can do it. I can still do it.

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Speaker 1: I once kissed the girl in kindergarten and she said,

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Speaker 1: our kid's name would be John. But I don't know

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Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, your friend's name is John.

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Speaker 3: I used to give out free kisses in kindergarten.

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Speaker 1: I never kiss the girl and my cubby. My first

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Speaker 1: kiss was the fifth grade.

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Speaker 3: My first kiss I think was in like fifth grade.

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Speaker 2: My first kiss was in college.

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Speaker 1: Hell yeah, it was bad. I had more tongue than

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Speaker 1: I thought I should have.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, I think that's just like a common thing.

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Speaker 2: I hate tongue. Sorry, hate it. They ain't doing it right, sister.

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Speaker 2: Put that on me. They're not doing it right.

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Speaker 3: I'll do it when I am under the influence, not

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Speaker 3: when I am sober.

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Speaker 2: I have tried to explain to him that this was

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Speaker 2: just a lack of communication and that I never wanted

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Speaker 2: to hurt him. I have never even looked at another

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Speaker 2: person until we agreed to open the relationship. But he's

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Speaker 2: just saying this changes the way he thinks about me entirely.

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Speaker 2: He has barely spoken to me since finding out and

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Speaker 2: pretty much ignored my apologies. How do I earn his

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Speaker 2: trust back? And we've got comments, But what do you think.

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Speaker 3: I don't think you need to earn his trust BacT truthfully.

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Speaker 2: I think in the sense that you both need to

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Speaker 2: figure out where, like can we move on from this

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Speaker 2: because there was just a complete lack of communication on

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Speaker 2: both ends. I would just lay down the facts.

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Speaker 3: I'm guessing when you guys like talked about it, it

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Speaker 3: was either in person, on the phone or overtext.

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Speaker 2: Think it was over phone. Yeah, okay, so I'm but

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Speaker 2: I'm not one hundred percent. I would ask.

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Speaker 3: I would be like, Okay, what did you exactly say,

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Speaker 3: like when you when I asked, oh, we should open it?

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Speaker 2: Or like who even suggested that? Was it him?

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Speaker 3: He said, so he suggested it, So it's like, okay,

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Speaker 3: but you didn't set the boundaries, so like it was

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Speaker 3: very muddy. Yeah, and I didn't know what was on

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Speaker 3: the table and was off the table, So I think

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Speaker 3: that is kind of, you know, his fault.

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Speaker 2: In a way, and then you apologize and you say

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Speaker 2: you know, I wasn't aware of what was on the table.

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Speaker 2: I should have clarified, and that is my fault. But

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Speaker 2: now that we are here, I don't want this to end.

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Speaker 2: Is there any way that we can clarify and be

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Speaker 2: on the same page moving forward? But I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if he'll get over it. Yeah, Department

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Speaker 2: Dapper says, I didn't quite understand your post. Does your

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Speaker 2: boyfriend know you had spicy sleep with another guy not

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Speaker 2: a girl? If so, that's probably the real reason for

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Speaker 2: his anger. But either way, it's his fault. He shouldn't

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Speaker 2: have suggested an open relationship if it wasn't a sincere decision.

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Speaker 2: He knows about both now, as he began questioning me

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Speaker 2: about it when I told him about the girl. Affectionate

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Speaker 2: Trash says, in the eyes of most poly relationships, you

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Speaker 2: have cheated. You said you made the new people aware

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Speaker 2: of your boyfriend, but did he know you were actively

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Speaker 2: going on dates intending to sleep with people. I don't

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Speaker 2: think you guys have the right communication and maturity for

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Speaker 2: an open relationship. I agree. Oh, he says, I didn't

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Speaker 2: tell him at all about the guy until he asked,

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Speaker 2: But I was under the impression that he knew I

303
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Speaker 2: had slept with the girl. Why are we under any impressions?

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Speaker 2: Stop stop being under impressions. I'm always talking out. Yeah,

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00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,240
Speaker 2: I guess it is poor communication on my behalf that

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Speaker 2: he didn't understand the nature of my relationship with her.

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Speaker 2: You think the reason why I didn't tell him details

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Speaker 2: is because I personally wouldn't be comfortable with knowing the

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Speaker 2: ins and outs of what my boyfriend was doing with

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Speaker 2: other people. And I stupidly assumed he felt the same.

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Speaker 2: And there it is again. It's just the constant assumptions.

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Speaker 2: All right, thought this and you thought that? Stop thinking?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, my po Yeah, my poly people question if you

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Speaker 1: were entering a poly Sorry what I said?

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Speaker 3: That is no one here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're talking. Sorry, I thought you're like talking.

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Speaker 1: Anyways, my poly people, if you're going into a poly relationship,

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Speaker 1: do you have to be okay with understanding all of

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Speaker 1: the gruesome details that your partner comments on other people

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Speaker 1: spicily consensually? Yes or no?

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Speaker 2: Personally not as a poly person. I don't think it's

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Speaker 2: I think it's just person a person. The only thing

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Speaker 2: you have to do is communicate about what you want

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Speaker 2: to know and what you don't want to.

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Speaker 3: Know, and then you also it's also you have to

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Speaker 3: like get permission, yes, yes, what.

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Speaker 2: You do for film trips, come on Paris to sign

328
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Speaker 2: the permission. I just assumed that he was, and assumed

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Speaker 2: he knew I was at that, as that was what

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Speaker 2: we had both agreed to do. Orwellian couldn't conoclast Orwellian conoclast.

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Speaker 1: Orwellian Orwellian or Willian I conoclast.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, it can I don't know classic. He

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00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,120
Speaker 2: wanted to open up the relationship because he thought he'd

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Speaker 2: get to sleep with other people. Now he's mad and

335
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,880
Speaker 2: trying to punish because you had success on the apps

336
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:11,480
Speaker 2: and he didn't. That isn't what it feels like in

337
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Speaker 2: this situation at all. We have read a lot of

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00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,000
Speaker 2: these stories. That isn't what it feels like at all.

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00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:20,600
Speaker 2: I apologize my wives. Sorry. I thought he was referring

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Speaker 2: to just us in the room. I knew you guys

341
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:27,400
Speaker 2: are in the room too, but physically I can't see you,

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00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,440
Speaker 2: and the tomless is not all the details, but I

343
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:30,800
Speaker 2: do need to know who and when.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, share your Google calendar. That's the most effective thing

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Speaker 1: I've ever.

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Speaker 2: Hearde I agree, Mischief Managed says, for real, this happens

347
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,560
Speaker 2: so much it's practically a cliche. Op. He says after

348
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Speaker 2: receiving a few comments saying to unblock the girl. I

349
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,760
Speaker 2: definitely will be. She was really great and I think

350
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,040
Speaker 2: we could have a friendship if nothing else. Now, I

351
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,520
Speaker 2: just did it out of blind panic because I wanted

352
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,400
Speaker 2: to salvage my relationship. And we've got an update. The

353
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Speaker 2: comments are letting this girl off way too easy.

354
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Speaker 1: She's young, she doesn't know any better.

355
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Speaker 3: I mean, she's what twenty three, but she's twenty one.

356
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Speaker 2: He's twenty one. He's twenty three. Okay, okay, he's twenty three.

357
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:07,000
Speaker 2: So yeah, she is young. It's her first relationships. She

358
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:10,360
Speaker 2: doesn't know. I think that makes sense why a lot

359
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,960
Speaker 2: of this happened, and why there was a lack of communication.

360
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:17,280
Speaker 2: But it is very important if this one does end

361
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Speaker 2: and you go into the next one, that we communicate.

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Speaker 1: Look, I say call it with this vella and get

363
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Speaker 1: with the girl.

364
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:26,080
Speaker 2: Let's move on.

365
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,159
Speaker 1: Let's just not do this anymore.

366
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Speaker 2: I don't know.

367
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,960
Speaker 1: We'll see who do you get to play Minecraft and

368
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,000
Speaker 1: go to the pub with that dude?

369
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,520
Speaker 2: True? And we're asking real questions here. Yeah, I don't know.

370
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,199
Speaker 2: Unless you guys can really sit down and talk it

371
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Speaker 2: out and communicate, I don't know if this can continue.

372
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Speaker 1: I don't think he's going to be able to look

373
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Speaker 1: past it.

374
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Speaker 2: Yeah.

375
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Speaker 1: Also, it's weird he didn't even talk about him download naps.

376
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Speaker 1: I'm just throwing it out.

377
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,320
Speaker 2: Two days later, so he finally called me after he

378
00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:54,640
Speaker 2: finished work last night for us to talk. I apologized

379
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:57,520
Speaker 2: again for the miscommunication and said that I didn't feel

380
00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:00,959
Speaker 2: we had a detailed enough conversation to a stadlish boundaries

381
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:05,399
Speaker 2: and to define what an open relationship means to us. Eyah, Yeah,

382
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:09,000
Speaker 2: that should have been discussed before, and that's how I'm

383
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,000
Speaker 2: both of you glad that we're doing it. Just like a.

384
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,920
Speaker 1: Post ghost anyone. If you want this, look up a

385
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Speaker 1: wiki how to open a relationship.

386
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's got one of those like weird drawings for dummies.

387
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,840
Speaker 2: He agreed, but didn't apologize for his role in that

388
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,440
Speaker 2: some of that. He then said that he was mostly

389
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Speaker 2: heart because I seem to have developed an emotional connection

390
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:34,360
Speaker 2: with this girl, which I can understand, and I apologized

391
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,679
Speaker 2: for again. Then he asked me if I felt like

392
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:40,080
Speaker 2: I was happy in our relationship, and to my surprise,

393
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:45,199
Speaker 2: I told him I wasn't. Whoa big reveal.

394
00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:48,639
Speaker 3: Oh wait, so she's she doesn't regret?

395
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,960
Speaker 2: Is that like? No, she's just saying He's like, do

396
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,240
Speaker 2: you like? I think he's asking, do you even want

397
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:54,520
Speaker 2: to continue this relationship?

398
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 1: Is?

399
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,160
Speaker 2: Are we salvaging something here? And I think they're both

400
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,280
Speaker 2: realizing that they had problems before because they're was a

401
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,320
Speaker 2: problem in the relationship. Yeah, but now like the PAULI

402
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,280
Speaker 2: has gone has come into the situation as well, and

403
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,480
Speaker 2: that has caused even more problems. So it's like you

404
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,439
Speaker 2: never solved the first problem to begin with, exactly. Stop

405
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:18,760
Speaker 2: opening up your relationship to fix the problems. Got it.

406
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 2: It's like fighting someone in an arena and then you're like,

407
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 2: wait a minute, I'm gonna get more people in here

408
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:30,240
Speaker 2: to fight. Will hates this guy. He said he wasn't either,

409
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,760
Speaker 2: and so we decided to break up. I think that's

410
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,160
Speaker 2: for the best. I haven't even had a text from

411
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,040
Speaker 2: him this morning, and I haven't tried to reach out either.

412
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:42,000
Speaker 2: I do feel hurt and a bit lost, but after

413
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,800
Speaker 2: the last few days of crashing out, I also feel

414
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,879
Speaker 2: a huge sense of relief. As well as reading all

415
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,199
Speaker 2: the comments under this post, I also spoke to a

416
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:53,239
Speaker 2: couple of my friends and came to the conclusion that

417
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,199
Speaker 2: if the two of us were truly happy together, we

418
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,800
Speaker 2: wouldn't have felt the need to open our relationship in

419
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,639
Speaker 2: the first place. Entirely true, but in this case, one

420
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,880
Speaker 2: hundred percent truth. I think that that's facts I think

421
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:09,320
Speaker 2: right now make sense. I'm going to give some time

422
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:11,680
Speaker 2: to heal, but now when I'm ready, I am free

423
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,879
Speaker 2: to be a young adult without the pressure of a

424
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,760
Speaker 2: big future looming over me. It has also opened up

425
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,120
Speaker 2: new chop opportunities, as I don't just have to look

426
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:20,679
Speaker 2: in the same city as him, so we could move

427
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 2: in together. We've got a little bit left, but you

428
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 2: be final thoughts.

429
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:26,640
Speaker 1: Yes, this is how you ask for an open relationships.

430
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 1: The drawings One, understand and open relationship and if you

431
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:38,000
Speaker 1: wanted two, introducing the subject yes, Three, discussing the details okay,

432
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:43,119
Speaker 1: establish ground rules and talk about protection. Discuss whether you

433
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 1: want to tell your friends or family, and be sure

434
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:50,360
Speaker 1: to express Communication will be the absolute key to make

435
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 1: the relationship successful.

436
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:57,200
Speaker 2: Honestly, Yes, honestly, all of that was really good. Right,

437
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:00,680
Speaker 2: everyone who wants to open the relationship, follow this WICKI.

438
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 1: How how to break up? This is what we're gonna

439
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:05,560
Speaker 1: do for you now, opie.

440
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 3: How to survive a breakup? Over forty Honestly, that's gonna

441
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:12,000
Speaker 3: be mean.

442
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:17,119
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, I respect yourself after a breakup. No,

443
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,440
Speaker 1: I just want to know how to break up.

444
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:22,639
Speaker 3: Oh well, nobody knows about that because it depends on

445
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 3: the situation.

446
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:25,879
Speaker 2: That's why we're here. Yeah, I don't know.

447
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 3: Okay, storytime, If you want advice on how to break

448
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:32,960
Speaker 3: we know everything literlie, but we got a little bit left.

449
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 2: I know a lot of people are calling him a

450
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 2: piece of crap and gaslighting liar, but I'm still very

451
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 2: fond of him, and so I don't really care at

452
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,200
Speaker 2: the moment to argue with him and question his side

453
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 2: of the story. I genuinely think it was both of you.

454
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 2: I think I think anyone who sang it was just

455
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 2: one of you did not read this story. There was

456
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 2: clearly a lack of communication. She every wont sick, But

457
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 2: also you're young, so I get that whether he changed

458
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,399
Speaker 2: the terms of our open relationship, or did end up

459
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,960
Speaker 2: sleeping around and didn't want me to know. Maybe at

460
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 2: some point I'll bring him up on this, but I

461
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 2: think the most important thing is for us to both

462
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:09,399
Speaker 2: try and move forwards. As for the Minecraft girl, I

463
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,240
Speaker 2: sent her a text saying I'll give her a call

464
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 2: at some point soon to explain, and she said that

465
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 2: she was totally okay and to take my time. Wow,

466
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,200
Speaker 2: very nice. What I don't think that you should get

467
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:23,400
Speaker 2: together with her immediately, because you literally what.

468
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 3: I would be annoyed if I was the girl and

469
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 3: all of a sudden you blocked me and they.

470
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:31,640
Speaker 2: Were like, oh sorry, I'll explain everything. I'd be like, okay, no.

471
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 1: I disagree with that. I think you I should live

472
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 1: together and be happily ever after. Plus her profile on

473
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,479
Speaker 1: Reddit is a Pokemon character.

474
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:42,200
Speaker 2: I think I would have to I think it would

475
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:47,399
Speaker 2: be literally so be literally said I want like time

476
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,040
Speaker 2: for me, so have time for you girl. See, but

477
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 2: I would have to refer you to my book too little,

478
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 2: too late. Yeah, yeah, you've missed here how to break

479
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,280
Speaker 2: up wiki out?

480
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,199
Speaker 1: Yes wait wait, I actually have that pulled up. I

481
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:04,760
Speaker 1: was about to show this to you guys. How to

482
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,400
Speaker 1: end your relationship respectfully.

483
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll do it.

484
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:09,879
Speaker 1: Oh, I was gonna.

485
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,320
Speaker 2: Okay, so hopefully I have at least made a friend

486
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 2: and something good has come out of this. Thank you

487
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,200
Speaker 2: once again everyone for the help and support. And that's

488
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,040
Speaker 2: it and there you go.

489
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,919
Speaker 1: Okay, this is how you do it, guys. If you

490
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 1: think about doing amady all right. Number one, schedule a

491
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 1: time to watch like that. I don't know backwards. To

492
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 1: make sure to choose an appropriate location. This is everything

493
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 1: a bench in a parklick area, public area. That's why

494
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 1: you always have public dates. So whenever it happens, it

495
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 1: is and out of nowhere.

496
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,680
Speaker 3: I want to break up with someone in public area,

497
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:47,639
Speaker 3: you don't want.

498
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,400
Speaker 1: To do it in the confidence of your own home though.

499
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 2: I was broken up in my bedroom at that guy.

500
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,119
Speaker 1: Him actually f him because he made you make dinner

501
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 1: for him too. That guy, I hate him. He is

502
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 1: super weird and I am not friends with him anyways.

503
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,200
Speaker 1: Number three, plan what you want to say.

504
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 2: It was great.

505
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 1: That was the last sweet potato I've ever had from you.

506
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 1: Number four, thank you. Make sure the breakup in person.

507
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 1: It's safe. Have a friend if needed, like to make

508
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,359
Speaker 1: sure everything's okay.

509
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 2: You hand them off to the friend.

510
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 1: No, no, no, But just like I'm in the area, Like,

511
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 1: if I knew this was happening, I would like to

512
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 1: have been in the house just to make sure everything

513
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 1: was you were in the house. I came by later.

514
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 2: Heard about it at rock climbing.

515
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:38,120
Speaker 1: Maintain your composure, Focus on the issues, not the person.

516
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:45,640
Speaker 1: Try to avoid giving your partner false hope. Anticipate the reaction,

517
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 1: and then what to do after the.

518
00:24:47,840 --> 00:25:04,119
Speaker 2: Breakup someone else. Exercise deciding you I was allowed to

519
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 2: say that, considered.

520
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 1: That, Communicate your frustrations established.

521
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 2: Talk to your dad, Talk to your dad, talk to you.

522
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 1: That's make your decisions with your friend, make your fine.

523
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:28,919
Speaker 2: Bangs. Wow, they're banging. Wang, they're banging. I bangs.

524
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 1: All right. So that's the end of that one. That

525
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 1: was really triggered heavy, guys, Yeah, was it? I was

526
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,919
Speaker 1: triggered heavy? All right, I'm gonna go check on key

527
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 1: On downstairs. Let's get the next one up.

528
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 3: My boyfriend refused to use any bathroom but ours and

529
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:45,720
Speaker 3: thinks it's normal.

530
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 2: You gotta branch out.

531
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 3: My twenty five female boyfriend twenty four male can't go

532
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,200
Speaker 3: to the bathroom unless it is the one in our apartment.

533
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 2: And I do know someone like this. We both know

534
00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 2: someone like this, shy pier. No, it was just like

535
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 2: the Yeah, they like a humble. That's also like a

536
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:09,879
Speaker 2: germ thing too. That's what Sidney's roommate humble, humble, humble,

537
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 2: humble humble.

538
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,959
Speaker 3: If he's not home when he has to go and

539
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 3: he doesn't make it back in time, he.

540
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,159
Speaker 2: Will go in his pants.

541
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:18,439
Speaker 3: I wish I was kidding.

542
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,479
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, well so now it's an issue. She doesn't

543
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 2: do that. Now it's an issue. So now that's like

544
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:25,719
Speaker 2: you should go to therapy.

545
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,119
Speaker 1: That's why I do it on trees. Guys.

546
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, why doesn't he take his pants down? Why dont

547
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 2: we just pee on the guard, the floor, the floor?

548
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 2: Why are we peeing in our pants? Wear something? You

549
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 2: wear a diaper at that point, like Christie to the greases.

550
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:45,399
Speaker 2: I was like that when I was eight, and then

551
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 2: you grew up.

552
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 3: I figured it out. What did I just say? I

553
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:54,440
Speaker 3: figured it out after seeing him have two different accidents.

554
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,439
Speaker 3: The first time it was after his friend's birthday and we.

555
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:58,400
Speaker 2: Had both been drinking.

556
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 3: Okay, I can kind of understand that one My boyfriend

557
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 3: was really embarrassed, and I thought it was just because

558
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:07,960
Speaker 3: of the booze. It had never happened before in front

559
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 3: of me, so I just let it go. The second

560
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 3: time it happened, we were out shopping and there was

561
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,760
Speaker 3: no booze involved. He went his pants because we didn't

562
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 3: get home in time.

563
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 2: Genuinely, after the second time it happens, I'm having a

564
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 2: conversation with my boyfriend and I'm saying, hey, maybe I

565
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,680
Speaker 2: still love you. Well, we gotta work on you peeing

566
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 2: in your pants.

567
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,879
Speaker 3: We're gonna read some stories, yeah about potty times.

568
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:31,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're to work on potty training.

569
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from one ultimatum off my chest.

570
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

571
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 3: to the our slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Savannah, I'm Sophia,

572
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:43,960
Speaker 3: and we are here to give some good advice goofully,

573
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,639
Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers. We don't tell

574
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 3: you what we would do. Let us know what you

575
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 3: would do down in the comments. Uh as Opie says,

576
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:54,679
Speaker 3: we met in university during my second year and his first.

577
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:57,159
Speaker 3: I lived on campus and he shared an apartment with

578
00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,679
Speaker 3: his brother, twenty six male off campus. I realized he

579
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 3: would go back to his apartment if he needed to

580
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 3: use the bathroom. I went on to the pharmacy program

581
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 3: at our university, and he went on to do his

582
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:10,680
Speaker 3: master's degree in what peology?

583
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 1: Pissing me off of the g pissing me off of Gee?

584
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 3: After we graduated, I moved in with him. The apartment

585
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 3: is close to the hospital I would be working at.

586
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 3: My boyfriend found a remote job, and the rent was

587
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:28,399
Speaker 3: a good price for this area.

588
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 2: How does he go on vacations?

589
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:31,879
Speaker 1: He doesn't.

590
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:35,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, he has a pair of peat pants. He's got

591
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 2: peat pants. He says, he's got his vacation pants. I

592
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 2: got my vacation peat pants. Don't worry.

593
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 3: His family lives two hours away. He can use the

594
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 3: bathrooms at his parents' house because he grew up there.

595
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 2: Okay, good.

596
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 3: One set of his grandparents lives near his parents, and

597
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:50,960
Speaker 3: he can also use their bathrooms because they have lived

598
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 3: in the same house since he was born.

599
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 2: Okay, so all right, we've got three houses that we

600
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,040
Speaker 2: can pee in. He has three.

601
00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 1: How do you make it to the point where it's

602
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 1: this is a safe place. What's any more houses?

603
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 2: Way, Pigeon says, PhD. That was so good. I got

604
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:12,640
Speaker 2: his PhD and he is getting his PhD because he's.

605
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 1: Getting that's not known.

606
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 2: Well, doctor, what is the doctor at PhD?

607
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:23,719
Speaker 1: Tell them you have you have undergrad bachelor's, master's.

608
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 2: PHHD, PhD's after masters.

609
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 1: Oh, he might be going to it after his master's.

610
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 3: He could be well, might want to get new pants.

611
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 3: His other grandparents moved to another province when they retired,

612
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 3: and my boyfriend has never visited them because of this

613
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 3: bathroom situation. My boyfriend's brother lived in the apartment for

614
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 3: two years before my boyfriend moved in, and it took

615
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 3: him all that time to get used to the idea

616
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 3: of using the bathroom there. His parents told me he

617
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 3: has been like this his whole life, and they laugh

618
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 3: about this quirk of his It's not a.

619
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:59,640
Speaker 4: That and that actually is the issue his parents, because

620
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 4: that's that's you failed a little bit as parents if

621
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 4: you're if your child peas his pants because you can't

622
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 4: get a bathroom that he.

623
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 3: Likes and he's getting a master's degree. Yeah, I'm gonna well, okay, wait.

624
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 2: We got his how old was he? No, no, no, twenty,

625
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 2: he's like three or something like that. I think that

626
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 2: it's an issue. It's an issue, and he should have

627
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 2: been going to therapy. Yeah, because you should. You know,

628
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:28,520
Speaker 2: you gotta you gotta find that shy bladder syndrome SBS.

629
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 1: What is shy bladder system. It is a social anxiety disorder.

630
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 1: People who has this are unable to have or have

631
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 1: severe difficulty urinating ping when they are away from home. Yeah,

632
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 1: avoidant last fort Yeah, this is a this is a

633
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 1: thing everyone.

634
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 2: Yeah.

635
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, he definitely needs to go see someone about it.

636
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 3: There's people who can help him.

637
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, he just thought of it as like, oh, it's

638
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 2: just as quirk himself. It's not that is after like

639
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 2: six years old, seven, eight, after eight to ten, like

640
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 2: when you're like okay, okay, now, no, it's not an

641
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:08,640
Speaker 2: EU anymore.

642
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 3: You need to like actually get over this phobia.

643
00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, this says. Studies suggests that up to twenty five

644
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 1: percent of people in the United States have some degree

645
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 1: of this this anxiety. Wow, what that's crazy. I don't

646
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 1: believe that my friend is like that.

647
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 2: I mean, I know a person who's like that. She

648
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 2: would not go at work.

649
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 3: Even if she had to. She'd be like, I can't.

650
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,080
Speaker 1: It's like one in four people. I mean, statistically, someone

651
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 1: in this house has that.

652
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 2: I'm good. I can peel anywhere as long as it's

653
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 2: actual back. I love peeing everywhere. Stop Savannah, stop peeing everywhere.

654
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 1: Don't.

655
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 2: You can't let her anywhere? She peeks on her everywhere

656
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 2: you do.

657
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 1: That's right, you're right. Hey, this is Riley the New Californian. Here.

658
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these stories, but here's three

659
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

660
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 3: My boyfriend is trying to tell me this is normal

661
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,360
Speaker 3: and that lots of people can only go at home.

662
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 2: Oh.

663
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 3: When he says that, it makes me feel like screaming.

664
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 3: I can believe people prefer to go at home. However,

665
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,720
Speaker 3: they will also use whatever bathroom is closest instead of

666
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 3: going in their pants. Yeah, no one else in his

667
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 3: family is like this. His brother just joined the navy.

668
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 3: Imagine you're in the navy and you just pee your pants.

669
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 3: I know, but imagine they probably would.

670
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're in the water.

671
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 3: His dad is a conductor for a railroad company. His

672
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 3: mom is a postal worker.

673
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 2: Oh, they're very government. They are very government. Everyone. What

674
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 2: does he do?

675
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 1: Remote job?

676
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,680
Speaker 2: Remote jobs down humble.

677
00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 3: They couldn't do those jobs if they were like my boyfriend.

678
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 3: None of his friends have ever said anything that I

679
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 3: know of either. I told him he needs to see

680
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 3: a therapist. He is refusing because he doesn't think anything

681
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 3: is wrong. He's just okay with pean in his pants.

682
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 2: Because all of his family and presumably his friends have

683
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 2: been like, oh, it's just yeah, that's just the way is.

684
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 2: He's just a little pea boy.

685
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:08,080
Speaker 1: That's so sad. Yeah, you can't even go on vacations

686
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 1: because you're afraid of me.

687
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 2: Exactly. He wouldn't be able to go like what are you?

688
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 2: Literally I would say, what are we gonna do when

689
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 2: we go on vacations? Ah? This is this is bad.

690
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 2: At least he doesn't poop in his hand and lower

691
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 2: it into the bull to a voice. Oh that was

692
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 2: a yeah, that was a story that we read.

693
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:32,600
Speaker 3: What what no, no, no, no, no no uh uh.

694
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 2: I do not want to live in this apartment forever.

695
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 3: I want to travel. Where my parents live isn't far

696
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 3: from us, but I have big family and I want

697
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 3: to bring him to visit them. What if he gets

698
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 3: offered a better job that isn't fully remote. I told

699
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 3: him I am done if he doesn't go to therapy

700
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 3: and he says, I am selfish.

701
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 2: Wow, you're selfish. It's not selfish, that's like because you

702
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 2: can't be a grown man doing that, Like you're never

703
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 2: gonna see my family, and I'm selfish.

704
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 3: You can't just be a grown human doing that. Like

705
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:08,359
Speaker 3: that's just not okay. There's there's definitely something something going

706
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:08,959
Speaker 3: on up.

707
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 1: Here, right, hear me out. We got a solution here. Yeah,

708
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:15,719
Speaker 1: we have a catheter and the bag is in your

709
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,560
Speaker 1: boots and that is your thing that you wear, so

710
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 1: you can go anywhere you want to and it just

711
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:22,759
Speaker 1: goes right into the back.

712
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 2: I just I just don't Yeah, I.

713
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,880
Speaker 1: Think we could get him to that point. That's super easy.

714
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 3: It is mobile key back seeing the Greek says, will

715
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 3: he pee his pants at their wedding?

716
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 2: Good point? I mean, yeah, the wedding has to be

717
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,960
Speaker 2: within like fifteen minutes of their apartment.

718
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 1: Can't even go to a honeymoon apartment. Well, he visits

719
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:46,320
Speaker 1: visits the honeymoon place and he gets like a relationship

720
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:46,840
Speaker 1: with the bathroom.

721
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like it has to be somewhere. I know.

722
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, what if he's in the ocean and he peas

723
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:52,840
Speaker 1: in his pants, does that count?

724
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:53,239
Speaker 3: Yeah?

725
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:53,800
Speaker 2: That's cool.

726
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 1: That's the only one. I'd be okay with you on

727
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:56,800
Speaker 1: a beach vacation.

728
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,640
Speaker 3: I wonder if he would be like, oh, it's weird

729
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:02,440
Speaker 3: to be in the ocean. I would want to hear

730
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 3: his takes on that.

731
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 1: Ah.

732
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 2: Let's see. I don't care if giving the ultimatum makes

733
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:07,719
Speaker 2: me selfish.

734
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,280
Speaker 3: I honestly don't. And there are some relevant Top comments.

735
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:13,520
Speaker 3: Come to one says question is he holding it until

736
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:16,360
Speaker 3: he can't anymore and then having an accident in his pants?

737
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:19,759
Speaker 3: Or is he intentionally just going in his pants rather

738
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 3: than use the public bathroom? Oh p, he responds, he

739
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 3: holds it until he can't. If he is not home

740
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 3: and he has to go, he will try to get home. However,

741
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 3: sometimes he doesn't make it. Come to number two says,

742
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:35,839
Speaker 3: amazing anybody in his family thinks this is normal. He

743
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:38,799
Speaker 3: can't live like that. Opie responds, I've learned his brother

744
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 3: is fed up with it. When his brother was in

745
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 3: university with us, I got the sense that he was

746
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,200
Speaker 3: annoyed with my boyfriend a lot of the time. Uh.

747
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:48,319
Speaker 2: I thought it was just normal sibling dynamics. I would too.

748
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 2: I have three brothers.

749
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 3: Ages twenty four to twenty two and twenty so I

750
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:53,800
Speaker 3: get being annoyed with younger siblings.

751
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:54,879
Speaker 2: During one of our.

752
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 3: Arguments over this, my boyfriend admitted his brother joined the

753
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 3: Navy to get away from the family and that he

754
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 3: didn't want to live with my boyfriend when he was

755
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 3: in university. Wow, but their parents said they wouldn't help

756
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 3: with finances unless he did.

757
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:09,240
Speaker 1: Wow.

758
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:12,320
Speaker 2: Yeah that makes a lot of sense. Right, So these

759
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 2: parents are not right either. Yeah. So, I mean they're

760
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:17,440
Speaker 2: just letting them do it. They're just letting them get

761
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:20,279
Speaker 2: away with all of this and not actually trying to

762
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:24,360
Speaker 2: encourage him to like get help. Yeah, that would just

763
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:25,760
Speaker 2: make his life so much better.

764
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:27,919
Speaker 1: I wonder how hard it was the potty train.

765
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 2: I mean they clearly didn't. Yeah, he's not he's just

766
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 2: not body train. Yeah.

767
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 3: I know my boyfriend's parents and one set of grandparents

768
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:41,880
Speaker 3: enable this. Oh okay, his brother doesn't. I'm not sure

769
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 3: what his other set of grandparents think. I've only met

770
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:44,959
Speaker 3: them once.

771
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:45,920
Speaker 1: I love that.

772
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like who's on the pier the pisses side?

773
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:56,240
Speaker 2: Who's up for the public pitsa which.

774
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 3: One comments are three says if a grown adult would

775
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,799
Speaker 3: rather crap their pants than use a public bathroom. They

776
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,719
Speaker 3: need serious help and therapy. I wouldn't have been able

777
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:06,080
Speaker 3: to get to the point of moving in. That is insane,

778
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,880
Speaker 3: Opie response. If I had known about this before I

779
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 3: moved in with him, I would have refused to come

780
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:13,839
Speaker 3: live in his apartment unless he went to therapy. Even then,

781
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 3: he would have had to show he was trying to

782
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 3: get better.

783
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:17,840
Speaker 2: There's an update three.

784
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:20,920
Speaker 1: Weeks later his pants since then, I would like to

785
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:21,800
Speaker 1: know this in the update.

786
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:23,359
Speaker 2: Well, if he only did it twice in the time

787
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 2: that Opie and him have been together, I doubt. I

788
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:29,239
Speaker 2: doubt he does it a lot, but it is gonna

789
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:32,400
Speaker 2: be a problem, and if he's not willing to do anything,

790
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:33,839
Speaker 2: I don't think this can work.

791
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 1: Okay, would you rather have this boyfriend or the boyfriend

792
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 1: that lowers his poop into the bowl so it doesn't splash.

793
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:44,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to pick one. You got pick one

794
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:48,600
Speaker 1: the first one. I'd rather have the pee in the pants.

795
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I would rather have the poop Chrthfully, I

796
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 3: don't trust that he's washing his him yeah see, I

797
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 3: would just like I would just make sure he's washing

798
00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:59,440
Speaker 3: his hands well because the other one, like at least

799
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 3: he's actually going to the bathroom in the right place.

800
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:03,800
Speaker 3: The other one like, you could be somewhere at like

801
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,120
Speaker 3: an event, and all of a sudden he just pisses himself.

802
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,840
Speaker 3: He's like, oh sorry, Like it could be any like

803
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 3: family events like whatever, Like, uh.

804
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:16,480
Speaker 2: Sorry, I guess the poor can go on vacations. The

805
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 2: poor could go on vacations. Yeah. Ya, there's an update

806
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:21,239
Speaker 2: three weeks later.

807
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 3: If I had known he had this issue, I never

808
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:26,480
Speaker 3: would have moved in with him in the first place.

809
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 3: I tried suggesting he go to therapy to address this,

810
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,839
Speaker 3: but he kept telling me that he is normal, and

811
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:33,799
Speaker 3: I am the weird one.

812
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 2: That's crazy gaslighting.

813
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 1: You're the weird one.

814
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 2: You're weird because everywhere cool Aless you be your pants.

815
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:49,280
Speaker 2: He really felt that. He said, you're right. My favorite

816
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:51,600
Speaker 2: is that the one with Adam Sandler. Yeah. Yeah, I

817
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 2: just referred to that. But actually, people my age all

818
00:38:58,480 --> 00:38:59,360
Speaker 2: be their pants.

819
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,800
Speaker 3: If peen your pants is cool, consider me, Miles Davis,

820
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,839
Speaker 3: that is the grossest thing I've ever heard.

821
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:11,240
Speaker 2: Everyone get on the bus. Wait, he peteres pants.

822
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:12,799
Speaker 1: I want to be just like him.

823
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 2: Hey, Billy Peter's pants too.

824
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 1: Of course I'd peed my pants.

825
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:19,080
Speaker 2: Peen your pants is the coolest.

826
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:21,720
Speaker 3: I can recite that entire movie.

827
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 2: I'm not joking.

828
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:26,759
Speaker 1: I feel like you. I can believe them.

829
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:31,279
Speaker 2: That makes sense. I like Nudy Magazine Day. Nudy Magazine Day.

830
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,279
Speaker 2: What I know, I've never seen this movie. Oh my god,

831
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:36,719
Speaker 2: we're to watch all right, I'll put it on my list.

832
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:37,800
Speaker 2: So good.

833
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 3: After that, I knew our relationship was doomed. No one

834
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 3: else in this in his family is like this. His

835
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 3: dad is a railroad worker, is mom's postworker. Both says

836
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 3: if his grandparents love to travel, you can't do those

837
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 3: things if you have the same issue as my ex boyfriend.

838
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:55,920
Speaker 3: During one of our arguments about this, my boyfriend admitted

839
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,640
Speaker 3: his brother had wanted to go to university in another province,

840
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:01,759
Speaker 3: but their parents said would withdraw financial support and help

841
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:05,400
Speaker 3: getting students loans unless he went to the closest university.

842
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:06,360
Speaker 2: This is the same.

843
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 1: No, that's we've read this part.

844
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:11,680
Speaker 2: No, no, ye, we didn't know about the.

845
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, we knew that the parents would withdraw.

846
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 2: We didn't know the reason. We didn't know the reason

847
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 2: that he couldn't go to a different place. This is

848
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:18,320
Speaker 2: new information.

849
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was because the parents wanted them to go

850
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 3: to the same place.

851
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 2: And yeah, but we didn't. We didn't know until now.

852
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 1: Okay, anyways, I'm just saying, wed, it is new information.

853
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 3: This was still my ex boyfriend could get used to

854
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 3: his brother's bathroom and come live there for university as well.

855
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 3: When his brother was in university with us, I got

856
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 3: the sense that he was annoyed with my ex boyfriend

857
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 3: a lot of them.

858
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:43,399
Speaker 2: That's old information, and we're back.

859
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:47,440
Speaker 3: I thought it was just normal sibling dynamics house.

860
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 2: The other still was new.

861
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:51,759
Speaker 1: This is a throw off the balcony.

862
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:53,200
Speaker 2: That's old. That's old.

863
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:56,240
Speaker 3: I have three younger brothers, so I get being annoyed

864
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 3: with younger siblings. But my ex boyfriend admitted that his

865
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 3: brother joined the navy to get away from the family

866
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 3: because we live in a landlocked province and it was

867
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,360
Speaker 3: the only way he could get away without financial support

868
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 3: from their parents.

869
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:11,880
Speaker 2: Old. None of that is new. These are all old things.

870
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,399
Speaker 1: Wait, wait till the update, do it.

871
00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 2: I need to hear this update.

872
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:17,320
Speaker 1: Okay, it's new information.

873
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 2: It's new.

874
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 1: Okay according to me and Savannah. I don't know about you.

875
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:29,000
Speaker 2: Okay, my ex boyfriend, that's now, that's no that's new

876
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:30,640
Speaker 2: the entire route.

877
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:35,319
Speaker 3: My ex boyfriend said his brother has not spoken to

878
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 3: anyone in the family since he left. I know that

879
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:40,319
Speaker 3: his parents and one set of grandparents enable him. I

880
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 3: don't know about his other set of grandparents because they

881
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,880
Speaker 3: live in a different province and I only met them once.

882
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:46,320
Speaker 2: He has no other family.

883
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:49,080
Speaker 3: When I told my ex boyfriend that I was moving out,

884
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:51,719
Speaker 3: he acted surprise. After we paid our rent for May,

885
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 3: I told our landlord that I would not be signed

886
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 3: in a new lease with my ex boyfriend after ours

887
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,360
Speaker 3: expired at the end of May. I'm lucky enough to

888
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:00,879
Speaker 3: have a best friend who let me temper move in

889
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 3: with her until my new place is ready next Saturday.

890
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,359
Speaker 3: I just couldn't imagine a life where he declined better

891
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:09,400
Speaker 3: jobs because they aren't remote right now he is a

892
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:14,360
Speaker 3: payroll clerk, or where we couldn't go see my family together,

893
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 3: or travel or buy a house he never lived in before.

894
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,920
Speaker 3: And no matter what he said, I know I was

895
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 3: right about this not being normal.

896
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 2: And there we go.

897
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:25,280
Speaker 1: That's how gasol.

898
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:25,800
Speaker 3: She was.

899
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's like, it's normal. Everyone pieced their parents. It's normal.

900
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 2: It's just like that's not normal. Yeah, good, good, good, decision.

901
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 3: Proofs Corphyl more like R Phil Sure, No, I will

902
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 3: not make out with you.

903
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:51,400
Speaker 2: Everyone in this room has now gotten dumber since reading

904
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:55,320
Speaker 2: that noted business ethics.

905
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:58,160
Speaker 1: All right, we're ready for this and the next.

906
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:02,319
Speaker 2: I supported my girlfriend brother for nearly a decade, and

907
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 2: now I've had enough ten years down the drain. Around

908
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 2: eight years ago, my girlfriend's younger brother moved back into

909
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 2: our house with his wife. After leaving the Marines after

910
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 2: high school. He enlisted, spent a few years mostly doing

911
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 2: support and base related work, then got out. His plan

912
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:22,240
Speaker 2: was to use his GI bill, pursue a real education,

913
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,240
Speaker 2: and figure out a long term career path while staying

914
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:28,719
Speaker 2: with us temporarily. By the way, this comes from Elliptic

915
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:30,239
Speaker 2: And if you want to spend your own stories, go

916
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay, storytime, separate it.

917
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 4: I'm Sophia, I'm Savannah, I'm Riley, and we're here to

918
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 4: give good advice.

919
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 2: Coofley, But we don't have all the answers. Beilling know

920
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:38,879
Speaker 2: what we do, So let us know what you would

921
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:41,320
Speaker 2: do with the comments. I know, he says. We fully

922
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:46,879
Speaker 2: supported them. No rent, free housing, utilities, internet, food, and

923
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 2: we constantly cooked meals for them. We also help with

924
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 2: job opportunities, resources, and encouragement. The problem is that temporary

925
00:43:55,440 --> 00:44:01,759
Speaker 2: slowly became a year's whoa's Yikes, crazy friends. He never

926
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:05,400
Speaker 2: committed to school, never held a serious job, and slowly

927
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 2: spent all his time Gamingikes. Wait this is Yahuse can

928
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:15,239
Speaker 2: I get so? This was he? In the story, girlfriend's

929
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:21,799
Speaker 2: younger brother moved into Op's and is uh okay girlfriend's

930
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:26,279
Speaker 2: house with his one then girlfriends brother. Got it okay?

931
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:27,879
Speaker 3: I was like, who is he to them?

932
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 2: Got it okay? He op? He continues. He stays up

933
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 2: until sunrise, wakes up around three pm, and avoids people

934
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:38,840
Speaker 2: whenever guests come over. Meanwhile, his wife worked full time

935
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 2: as a cashier, supporting both of them. Eventually, she cheated

936
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 2: and left him, Oh, saying she no longer felt anything

937
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 2: for someone who had lost all ambition and passion for life.

938
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:52,719
Speaker 2: Cheating is wrong, but I understood how resentment could build

939
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:56,680
Speaker 2: after years of carrying someone. After the divorce, he admitted

940
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 2: he had wasted years of his life and promised he

941
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 2: wanted to change. We supported him through that too. Then

942
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 2: my girlfriend's parents moved back on to the property to

943
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:08,879
Speaker 2: emotionally support him. As well. The house was originally bought

944
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:12,040
Speaker 2: by them years ago before being transferred into our names,

945
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 2: so technically it's ours now, but there's still family attachment involved.

946
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:19,839
Speaker 2: Fast forward to now, and nothing has changed. He's twenty eight,

947
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:22,839
Speaker 2: still spends nearly all day in his room gaming. And

948
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:25,600
Speaker 2: I brought this issue up to my girlfriend multiple times

949
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:29,160
Speaker 2: over the years. Almost every time she either gets angry

950
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 2: at me for bringing it up or says he's working

951
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:36,320
Speaker 2: on a study program or figuring things out. He can't

952
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 2: be figuring things out for eight years? Yeah, sorry, because

953
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 2: at that point you're not helping him.

954
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, and actions need to have consequences if someone is. So,

955
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:48,120
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna live here. I'm just gonna keep it going.

956
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:50,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna figure this out. And at what

957
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:53,960
Speaker 1: point do they have to actually face the fruits of

958
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:54,520
Speaker 1: their labor?

959
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:56,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, the fruits of that?

960
00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:58,520
Speaker 1: What do you mean the fruits of their labor? If

961
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 1: they're always planning, planning, planning, and not doing anything, then

962
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,800
Speaker 1: when it comes time to eat, it comes time for themselves.

963
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 1: They don't have a plate, they don't have a freaking

964
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:05,920
Speaker 1: on it.

965
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:09,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like that saying, teach a man to fish

966
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 3: or fish for a man.

967
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're fishing for him every day. He doesn't know

968
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 2: how to fish.

969
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:16,239
Speaker 1: Yep, so you can't feed himself for a lifetime. Mean,

970
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 1: he's learned this on his own.

971
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:19,879
Speaker 3: Ah, give a man a fish leap for a day,

972
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:22,160
Speaker 3: teach a man of fish leap for lifetime.

973
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 2: And there we go. Oh who came up with?

974
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:24,600
Speaker 3: That?

975
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:25,440
Speaker 2: Was that Socrates?

976
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 1: That was you?

977
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 2: He was you for the first time.

978
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 1: Right now, Hey, it's Smiley Ryley here from Okay storytime.

979
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:33,479
Speaker 1: We're going to get back to these stories, but here's

980
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:35,560
Speaker 1: three minutes worth of ads from our sponsors.

981
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:39,720
Speaker 2: Her parents have also admitted that they're tired of talking

982
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:43,400
Speaker 2: to him because nothing changes at this point. I honestly

983
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 2: feel like I'm stuck in an echo chamber where everyone

984
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 2: recognizes the problem, but nobody wants to confront it anymore.

985
00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:52,280
Speaker 2: Two weeks ago, I quietly set a Wi Fi bedtime

986
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:55,239
Speaker 2: pause from twelve am to six am, since me and

987
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 2: my girlfriend pay basically all utilities, including internet. Honestly, I

988
00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 2: thought it would affect nobody except him, because everyone else

989
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:06,719
Speaker 2: sleeps like normal adults. My girlfriend got upset because I

990
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:09,360
Speaker 2: did it without telling her. She said she couldn't sleep,

991
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 2: knowing there was tension in the house because of the

992
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:15,560
Speaker 2: WiFi pause what. She also explained that growing up, her

993
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,560
Speaker 2: grandparents controlled things in the house in ways that made

994
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:20,960
Speaker 2: her feel like she had no freedom, So the Wi

995
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 2: Fi situation brought back bad memories.

996
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,440
Speaker 1: I didn't go to therapy.

997
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not excuse. Yeah, it's like, you can't do

998
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 2: that because I had. It's not even affecting her, Yeah,

999
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 2: it's only affecting her brother, who games all night.

1000
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 1: My mom once slammed the door whenever I got into it,

1001
00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:44,200
Speaker 1: So please never close the door with harsh intentions.

1002
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 2: Never closed the door at all. Actually, it was just avoided.

1003
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 1: It brings back bad memory.

1004
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 2: I told her I understood that and agreed what her

1005
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:54,600
Speaker 2: grandparents did wasn't fair. But I also told her she

1006
00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:58,280
Speaker 2: isn't a child anymore, and neither is her brother. Huh.

1007
00:47:58,360 --> 00:47:59,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, there we go, there we go.

1008
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:03,399
Speaker 2: So she's older than twenty eight. Yeah, I'm sorry. If

1009
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 2: he wants to have Wi Fi at any time of

1010
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:09,120
Speaker 2: the day, he can buy it. Yeah.

1011
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 3: And I also get his own place, like is he

1012
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:15,120
Speaker 3: pain like anything? Yeah, so he's a leech. Get rid

1013
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:15,600
Speaker 3: of them.

1014
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 2: This isn't parents punishing teenagers. This is a twenty eight

1015
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 2: year old grown man spending nearly a decade avoiding adulthood

1016
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 2: while everyone around him financially cushions the consequences. I finally

1017
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 2: told her something that came from years of frustration. Somehow

1018
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 2: everyone can sleep peacefully while watching her brother waste his

1019
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:37,480
Speaker 2: life isolated in a bedroom gaming all night.

1020
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 1: Ah, but that's what it is. Yeah, dude, video games.

1021
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:43,800
Speaker 1: I feel like for a lot of guys, it takes

1022
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:47,040
Speaker 1: away the one and desire to have a purposeful life

1023
00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:49,160
Speaker 1: because they can do it on the game.

1024
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:52,280
Speaker 2: You get like three into it. Like I love video games.

1025
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 3: I love like playing all this stuff, but there is

1026
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:58,680
Speaker 3: a time where it's like, okay, now to get up

1027
00:48:58,719 --> 00:48:59,520
Speaker 3: and do something.

1028
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,440
Speaker 2: I have to go on doing live. Yeah, now I

1029
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 2: have to be a human being Crazyeah that works, and

1030
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:08,000
Speaker 2: probably eat something, probably maybe go to.

1031
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:09,680
Speaker 1: The bathroom, I don't know, pants.

1032
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 2: But pausing the internet for six hours suddenly becomes the

1033
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:16,600
Speaker 2: unbearable problem. She thinks, I'm being cruel towards someone who

1034
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:20,000
Speaker 2: may be depressed, and if they're depressed, then we cannot

1035
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 2: keep letting them live in the same situation that is

1036
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:26,360
Speaker 2: causing the depression. Yeah. So they're depressed for eight years,

1037
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:29,839
Speaker 2: and yeah, just let them be depressed. Well he's depressed. Yeah,

1038
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:31,680
Speaker 2: he's depressed. So I don't want to do anything that

1039
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:32,279
Speaker 2: changes that.

1040
00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:34,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh good, Okay, then we'll just let him do

1041
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:35,160
Speaker 3: whatever he wants.

1042
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:40,520
Speaker 2: No Ah, I think everyone has spent years enabling self

1043
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:43,520
Speaker 2: destruction because nobody wants to be the bad guy? Am

1044
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 2: I the a hole? And we've got an update? But

1045
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:46,240
Speaker 2: what do you guys think?

1046
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:48,360
Speaker 3: No, I don't think that you're the a hole for

1047
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:50,600
Speaker 3: doing that. I think you're the one actually making a

1048
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 3: change in the house and being like I don't like this.

1049
00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:55,919
Speaker 3: I'm putting my foot down. Do something with your life.

1050
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:57,400
Speaker 3: You can't just leach off of us.

1051
00:49:58,040 --> 00:49:59,279
Speaker 1: All right, I got something new?

1052
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 2: Got something wicky? How come on wiki?

1053
00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 1: How even better?

1054
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:06,040
Speaker 2: How to move out? How did be productive?

1055
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 1: Even better? The Lord's WICKI? How? What is happening here?

1056
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:16,439
Speaker 2: The lion king?

1057
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 1: All right? All right, right here we go. This is

1058
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 1: what my parents embedded in both me and my brother,

1059
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:26,280
Speaker 1: and I feel like this is like a great illustrations

1060
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:29,080
Speaker 1: of how parenting should happen and where these parents failed them.

1061
00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:30,520
Speaker 2: So are you forcing your religion on me?

1062
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:34,080
Speaker 1: No? No, no, But like Listen, listen. Children are a heritage

1063
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:36,799
Speaker 1: from the Lord. Offspring is award like arrows in the

1064
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 1: hands of warriors. Children, children's born is one of youth blesses.

1065
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 1: The man who's quiver is full of them. They will

1066
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:47,359
Speaker 1: not be put to shame when they contend with their

1067
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:49,600
Speaker 1: opponents in court. Okay, maybe that's not the one I'm

1068
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:53,479
Speaker 1: living for. Basically, what I'm saying, Basically, what I'm saying

1069
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:56,839
Speaker 1: is no, no, but the kids are like It's an

1070
00:50:56,840 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 1: analogy of life of like. Kids are are like an arrow,

1071
00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 1: and then whenever it comes to time to let go,

1072
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:05,800
Speaker 1: they should be able to hit their target. And it

1073
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:08,040
Speaker 1: probably won't be perfect, but they should be able to fly,

1074
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:11,279
Speaker 1: not just still be in the like freaking holster and

1075
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:11,959
Speaker 1: not be used.

1076
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:13,560
Speaker 2: This guy, if he was an arrow, he'd be like

1077
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 2: the floor. There's also a Jabron I can't remember his

1078
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:21,799
Speaker 2: first name quote he wrote a poem Jabron. I only

1079
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:28,319
Speaker 2: remember Bron James Lames. But he also talks about he's like,

1080
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 2: you gotta when you have to let your children live

1081
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:31,880
Speaker 2: their own lives.

1082
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, they need to learn how you have parents

1083
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:36,719
Speaker 3: learn teach.

1084
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:39,320
Speaker 2: A good parent teaches their.

1085
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:41,919
Speaker 3: Child to become independent.

1086
00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:44,680
Speaker 2: Yes, like you have too.

1087
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 1: Yes, you have to. And you will see the fruits

1088
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:50,760
Speaker 1: of my mother's labor whenever you see that. I actually

1089
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:53,800
Speaker 1: did do the laundry downstairs, and I folded all my clothes.

1090
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 2: The fruits of your mother's labor. What kind of fruit?

1091
00:51:57,800 --> 00:51:59,800
Speaker 2: All right? And then okay, picking mangoes?

1092
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:03,719
Speaker 1: I don't I don't think that's maybe strawberries oranges.

1093
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:06,920
Speaker 2: Now we've got you've got no So you got the

1094
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 2: religion one, and if you want another version, we've also

1095
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:13,840
Speaker 2: got Khalil Jabron, who says on children. Children are not

1096
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:16,080
Speaker 2: your children. They are the sons and daughters of life's

1097
00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 2: longing for itself. They come through you, but not from you.

1098
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 2: And though they are with you, yet they belong not

1099
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:24,319
Speaker 2: to you. And I got two versions there.

1100
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:27,120
Speaker 1: We gonna do a third. I think we did the

1101
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:28,080
Speaker 1: fishermen one earlier.

1102
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:30,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was pretty fire, So you don't get another.

1103
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:35,839
Speaker 3: I was just gonna look up children quotes. I don't

1104
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:38,520
Speaker 3: really have one. This is the best way to make

1105
00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:40,600
Speaker 3: children good is to make them happy.

1106
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 2: Oscar Wilde said.

1107
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 1: That I disagree with that because it turns into this.

1108
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:48,680
Speaker 2: Guy and he was gay, but gay.

1109
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:52,759
Speaker 1: No, I'm talking about the guy, OPI was gay. Oh oh,

1110
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:55,200
Speaker 1: make them get no. I was talking about Ope because

1111
00:52:55,320 --> 00:53:00,760
Speaker 1: the parents prioritized making Opie's brother. That brother so happy,

1112
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:02,279
Speaker 1: so now he's like not doing anything with me.

1113
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:04,280
Speaker 2: I was just telling facts about Oscar Wilde.

1114
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 1: But anyway, thank you, thank you for that fact.

1115
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:10,080
Speaker 2: A lot of people had questions regarding the ownership of

1116
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:13,040
Speaker 2: the house, and I do admit I wasn't very clear

1117
00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:16,279
Speaker 2: about certain details. Part of that was intentional because I

1118
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:19,720
Speaker 2: wanted to maintain some anonymity for myself and the people

1119
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:23,160
Speaker 2: involved in case the post gained too much attention, which

1120
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:26,279
Speaker 2: it obviously did. I hope you guys can understand that

1121
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:29,160
Speaker 2: after reading through many of your perspectives. I sat down

1122
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 2: with my girlfriend last night and we had a very

1123
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:39,760
Speaker 2: serious conversation. Okay, nice about the future and expectations moving forward.

1124
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 1: Let's go.

1125
00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 2: I love to see it.

1126
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:44,360
Speaker 1: I hate that you have to parent both your girlfriend

1127
00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:47,600
Speaker 1: and her brother, but yeah, you know were we got there.

1128
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 2: I explained to her that I cannot continue living in

1129
00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:54,640
Speaker 2: a situation where one person refuses to take accountability while

1130
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:58,320
Speaker 2: everyone else is expected to carry the burden. Damn, especially

1131
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:02,640
Speaker 2: a yaharification. The issue was mainly regarding her brother. A

1132
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:04,879
Speaker 2: lot of the frustration comes from the fact that there

1133
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:07,480
Speaker 2: has been little to no initiative from him, despite everyone

1134
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:11,000
Speaker 2: else around him trying to help. I understand people go

1135
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:13,840
Speaker 2: through difficult periods in life, and I truly try to

1136
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:17,080
Speaker 2: be patient and supportive, but at some point effort has

1137
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 2: to come from the individual too.

1138
00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's totally that's so fa facts. I just got

1139
00:54:23,680 --> 00:54:26,960
Speaker 1: fired and I would live in your house for free.

1140
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:30,080
Speaker 1: No can I do that? Yeah? Of course for how long?

1141
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:32,160
Speaker 2: One day?

1142
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 1: But setting down boundaries, you know, for three months? You

1143
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 1: got into three months.

1144
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:39,160
Speaker 3: That's like when my dresser lived here for like, yeah,

1145
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:39,680
Speaker 3: two months.

1146
00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, when you said it was going to be two

1147
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 2: days and then I got in trouble.

1148
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:43,399
Speaker 1: She said a week?

1149
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:46,000
Speaker 2: She said a week, and it was how long? And

1150
00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:49,360
Speaker 2: then I got in trouble. I also got in trouble.

1151
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:51,200
Speaker 1: Good. Yeah.

1152
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 2: I told my girlfriend that if nothing changes, then we

1153
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:56,719
Speaker 2: will need to separate living arrangements and I will move out.

1154
00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 2: As difficult as that conversation was, I felt it was

1155
00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:06,080
Speaker 2: nest because this situation cannot continue indefinitely without structure, accountability,

1156
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:09,360
Speaker 2: and actual effort being made. The plan moving forward is

1157
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:13,120
Speaker 2: to establish real deadlines and measurable steps for her brother

1158
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:17,080
Speaker 2: to start addrussing his situation instead of continuing to avoid it.

1159
00:55:17,239 --> 00:55:20,560
Speaker 2: As many commenters pointed out, via resources will be the

1160
00:55:20,560 --> 00:55:23,759
Speaker 2: first thing we push him towards pursuing. Immediately after that,

1161
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:28,799
Speaker 2: we discussed career workshops, employment assistance programs, and other resources

1162
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:30,840
Speaker 2: that could help him get back on his feet and

1163
00:55:30,960 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 2: build some long term stability. We've got a little bit left.

1164
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:35,600
Speaker 2: Any final thoughts.

1165
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:38,680
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm hoping that this guy. Is he going

1166
00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:39,280
Speaker 3: to therapy?

1167
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:42,040
Speaker 2: Did they give that? I mean they're looking at the

1168
00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:44,319
Speaker 2: resources that they have. I don't know if anything's been

1169
00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:45,480
Speaker 2: like SETI stone.

1170
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:48,520
Speaker 3: The other thing is is like he still isn't doing

1171
00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:52,320
Speaker 3: the work thing? Yeah, Like they are still like he

1172
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:54,960
Speaker 3: he is still just doing absolutely nothing, and they're just

1173
00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:55,640
Speaker 3: coming to him.

1174
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 2: Be like does this work for you? Does anything works

1175
00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:02,360
Speaker 2: for him? Because he does nothing. Also, it's a start, though, Yeah,

1176
00:56:02,600 --> 00:56:04,600
Speaker 2: but hopefully you have a conversation and be like, hey,

1177
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:07,240
Speaker 2: you can't be depressed for eight years and do nothing.

1178
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 2: It's time to live your life.

1179
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 3: You wasted your twenties, I'm sorry to tell you, but

1180
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:13,080
Speaker 3: your thirties don't have to be like this.

1181
00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:14,799
Speaker 2: Let's do something about it.

1182
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:17,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, and there are ways to make this your lifestyle.

1183
00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:19,160
Speaker 1: If you want to play video games all time, you

1184
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:22,360
Speaker 1: can probably figure out a way to test video games

1185
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:25,400
Speaker 1: or be a streamer make money off of it. You

1186
00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:28,040
Speaker 1: have to work smart. You can't just God can't just

1187
00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:30,880
Speaker 1: do it. I could go all on all day about this.

1188
00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:33,240
Speaker 2: Yeah. I also made it clear that I am willing

1189
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:36,480
Speaker 2: to support someone who is actively trying to improve their situation,

1190
00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:41,560
Speaker 2: but I cannot continue enabling someone who refuses to help themselves.

1191
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 2: I all said, I care deeply about my girlfriend and

1192
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 2: her family, which is why I stepped up and stayed

1193
00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:50,560
Speaker 2: patient for as long as I did. But I've also

1194
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:54,480
Speaker 2: realized I need to protect my own future finances and

1195
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:57,839
Speaker 2: mental well being too. For now, I'm focusing less on

1196
00:56:57,880 --> 00:57:02,040
Speaker 2: promises and more on actions. I genuinely appreciate everyone who

1197
00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:06,279
Speaker 2: offered advice, criticism, concern, and even tough truths. A lot

1198
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:09,160
Speaker 2: of your comments gave me perspectives I honestly had not

1199
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:12,160
Speaker 2: fully considered before. And that's the end of the story.

1200
00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:15,920
Speaker 2: I hope he's considering them now. Yay, good, hooray.

1201
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:19,480
Speaker 3: I mean, it's just it's sad, like I do feel

1202
00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:21,920
Speaker 3: bad for those people that like have no motivation to

1203
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:24,040
Speaker 3: do stuff like that. But at the end of the day,

1204
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:27,560
Speaker 3: you do have to contribute to society in some way,

1205
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:30,640
Speaker 3: whether you like it or not, because that also helps

1206
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 3: you in life, like just getting a routine and you know,

1207
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:40,560
Speaker 3: taking diet into consideration, exercise, you know, like the foundations

1208
00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:41,840
Speaker 3: like find your foundation.

1209
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:46,040
Speaker 2: And I think it's I think it's not on the people,

1210
00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 2: but it is. If you want to help a person

1211
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:52,760
Speaker 2: in your life who is you know, experiencing this, then

1212
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:55,680
Speaker 2: you can't just be like, oh, well, that's how their

1213
00:57:55,720 --> 00:57:57,560
Speaker 2: life is, so I can't do anything about it. I

1214
00:57:57,560 --> 00:57:59,280
Speaker 2: can't say anything about it. And that's just how they're

1215
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 2: going to be if you want to help them, it is.

1216
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:03,680
Speaker 2: It is calling it out and saying, hey, I'm willing

1217
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:05,880
Speaker 2: to help you find those resources and look into this,

1218
00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:08,000
Speaker 2: but I can't force you to do it.

1219
00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 1: Accountability.

1220
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:11,240
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story. And we've got

1221
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:15,080
Speaker 2: some comments from the video. My late husband had a

1222
00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:18,280
Speaker 2: son he never told me about. Now my daughter wants

1223
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:21,560
Speaker 2: to know her brother. And this was posted May sixteenth,

1224
00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:25,360
Speaker 2: twenty twenty six, and the TLDR come from story one.

1225
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:29,080
Speaker 2: Opie's husband passed away suddenly but right before the funeral,

1226
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 2: a teenage boy showed up at our door, claiming to

1227
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:34,000
Speaker 2: be her husband's secret son. You remember this me too

1228
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:37,640
Speaker 2: from another country. Opie had no idea this kid even existed,

1229
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:40,400
Speaker 2: and now he's getting weirdly close to her two daughters

1230
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:43,440
Speaker 2: and acting suspicious. Was he really her husband's son or

1231
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:45,920
Speaker 2: was he a scammer trying to trick a grieving family.

1232
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:48,840
Speaker 2: Opie thought she had it all figured out, but the

1233
00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:51,840
Speaker 2: truth turned her whole world upside down again. If you're

1234
00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:53,919
Speaker 2: curious to know the full story, you can go watch

1235
00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:57,960
Speaker 2: the full video and we've got comments. Shay g says,

1236
00:58:58,080 --> 00:59:00,920
Speaker 2: funeral scams are a thing. Now it's a lot easier

1237
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:02,960
Speaker 2: and quicker to prove, but they've been a thing for

1238
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:05,560
Speaker 2: a long time. Allowel Well, there you go, so be

1239
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:10,200
Speaker 2: aware everyone. Lopez mom says, storyline sounds like she's going

1240
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:13,040
Speaker 2: through the phases of grief. Hopefully she gets therapy to

1241
00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:17,560
Speaker 2: work through it. And Medidio says, yes, First, op does

1242
00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:22,000
Speaker 2: deserve some grace. Her husband passed unexpectedly and young. She's

1243
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:25,000
Speaker 2: trying to navigate this horrific loss and be present for

1244
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:27,720
Speaker 2: her children in their horrific loss. There is so much

1245
00:59:27,720 --> 00:59:30,400
Speaker 2: stuff to take care of when a spouse passes legal

1246
00:59:30,560 --> 00:59:34,320
Speaker 2: financial burial planning while in the grips of the initial

1247
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:37,920
Speaker 2: and intense blow of loss and grief. Then some stranger

1248
00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:40,600
Speaker 2: shows up tells her in one breath that her husband

1249
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:43,040
Speaker 2: lied and hid something huge from her for all these years.

1250
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:45,880
Speaker 2: And that's suddenly her daughters, who are also in a

1251
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:49,840
Speaker 2: really painful place of grief and loss, have a sibling.

1252
00:59:50,440 --> 00:59:52,840
Speaker 2: Then that stranger doesn't even wait to discuss it with

1253
00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:56,920
Speaker 2: you and inserts himself into her daughter's grief and now confusion.

1254
00:59:56,960 --> 00:59:59,440
Speaker 2: It is too much. She should be protective of her

1255
00:59:59,520 --> 01:00:02,240
Speaker 2: daughter's in in this moment. She should be skeptical. She

1256
01:00:02,440 --> 01:00:05,280
Speaker 2: should put up boundaries and take time to process everything.

1257
01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:09,400
Speaker 2: And the son should understand too if he wishes understanding

1258
01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:12,360
Speaker 2: from her too, even if he is their sibling, which

1259
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:15,040
Speaker 2: she was wise to question and get confirmation of, she

1260
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 2: needs to have clear boundaries and it should be a process.

1261
01:00:18,400 --> 01:00:21,200
Speaker 2: He still might not be trustworthy to be around the girls,

1262
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:25,560
Speaker 2: though he very well could be. All of this skepticism

1263
01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:28,520
Speaker 2: and amount of care is a necessary process. And that's

1264
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:31,080
Speaker 2: the end of that comment. And yeah, it was definitely

1265
01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:32,600
Speaker 2: a lot of grief that they were gone. Through so

1266
01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:33,320
Speaker 2: it makes sense.

1267
01:00:33,440 --> 01:00:36,680
Speaker 3: It was really hard to like navigate like that when

1268
01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:38,760
Speaker 3: also you couldn't even ask your husband.

1269
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:41,040
Speaker 2: Before Yeah, he wasn't even there, so it's like what

1270
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:43,880
Speaker 2: do you do? But that's the end of those comments

1271
01:00:43,920 --> 01:00:46,320
Speaker 2: and the end of this episode. So if you love us,

1272
01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:49,160
Speaker 2: make sure to subscribe We love you, and see it

1273
01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:49,640
Speaker 2: tomorrow