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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: And if you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex,

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Speaker 2: parenting and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter at Steve

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Speaker 2: HARVEFM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: We could be reading your.

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Speaker 2: Letter live on the air, just like we're going to

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Speaker 2: read this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 2: it could be yours.

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Speaker 3: You never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We

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Speaker 3: got it for you here. It is a Strawberry Letter, all.

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Speaker 1: Right, nephew, thank you.

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Speaker 2: Subject my little control freak, Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a

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Speaker 2: forty nine year old married man and my wife is

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Speaker 2: forty five. She's ex military and runs a tight ship

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Speaker 2: around here. I let her discipline the children and I

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Speaker 2: get to be the fun parent, and she's cool with

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Speaker 2: it sometimes, but our teenagers are tired of her notes

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Speaker 2: and they're all over the house with detailed instructions. I

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Speaker 2: have to step in and tell her to ease up

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Speaker 2: a bit, and then I get yelled at. We have

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Speaker 2: a meal plan for every week, and the kids still

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Speaker 2: I'll have a set bedtime every night.

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Speaker 1: My wife controls my life too.

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Speaker 2: We have sex when she wants to have sex and

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Speaker 2: we do it the way she wants to do it.

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Speaker 1: I get ordered.

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Speaker 2: Around and moved around, pushed and shoved into positions that

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Speaker 2: make my back hurt, and she almost pulled my arm

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Speaker 2: out of the socket. But I never say a word

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Speaker 2: because I don't want to ruin the moment. It's outside

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Speaker 2: the home where we have problems. My parents think my

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Speaker 2: children and I need to do an intervention with my wife.

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Speaker 2: I found out that my teenage daughter goes to her

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Speaker 2: house to freely date and she has boys visit her

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Speaker 2: over there. I trust my parents' supervision, but it hurts

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Speaker 2: me that I can't share the experience with my daughter.

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Speaker 2: I don't think it would go well if I shared

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Speaker 2: this with my wife, and I honestly don't think she

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Speaker 2: will change her behavior. I don't want my children to

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Speaker 2: be afraid of their mom or have bad memories of

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Speaker 2: their childhood. And I'm torn between a great structured life

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Speaker 2: that my wife provides and the freedom my teen need.

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Speaker 1: Will it backfire if.

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Speaker 2: I try to get my wife to change Should I

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Speaker 2: leave it alone for now?

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Speaker 1: Wow?

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Speaker 2: You kind of live a scary life over there. Huh?

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Speaker 1: Why have you let your wife terrorize you? Guys?

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Speaker 3: Like this.

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Speaker 1: I get the kids situation.

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Speaker 2: They are teenagers and she thinks that and a parent

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Speaker 2: should be a disciplinarian with your children. But you're supposed

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Speaker 2: to be her partner, the man of the house, and

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Speaker 2: you're not another teenager. Sometimes you like it, sometimes you don't.

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Speaker 2: But your wife is no longer in the military. It

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Speaker 2: sounds like she should either. Sometimes even give the kids

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Speaker 2: a break. I'll say, I think that you've given her

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Speaker 2: too much leeway and she's taken advantage of that. I

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Speaker 2: think she is out of control and she does need

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Speaker 2: to be reeled in. But do you think you are

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Speaker 2: the man for the job. I mean, that's what you

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Speaker 2: have to decide. You have to be head of household

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Speaker 2: and make some hard decisions here. So figure out your plan,

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Speaker 2: get some new structure in your house. Parents are kind

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Speaker 2: of onto something when they say in interventions from you

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Speaker 2: and the kids should happen, But just you, not the kids.

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Speaker 2: You and your wife need to have us sit down

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Speaker 2: and talk about this.

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Speaker 1: You got a man up. You can't be afraid of

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Speaker 1: your wife. That's not healthy.

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Speaker 2: Talk to each other about how you want to move

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Speaker 2: forward as a family, not with a drill sergeant.

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Speaker 1: Find a better way to communicate, Steve.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you ain't gonna make it, duugh.

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Speaker 4: This little control freak you talking about is out of pocket,

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Speaker 4: and you've allowed it. And I think it's gotten to

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Speaker 4: the point where it does require an intervention, as your

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Speaker 4: parents said, But she may not care because you've conceded

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Speaker 4: too much. I don't know how long it's been going on,

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Speaker 4: but obviously since y'all got married. You forty nine, she

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Speaker 4: forty five. She ex military. She runs a tight ship

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Speaker 4: around here. I let her discipline the kids. I get

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Speaker 4: to be the fun parent, but then your teenagers is

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Speaker 4: tied the notes all over the house with detailed instructions.

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Speaker 4: I gotta step in and tell her to ease up

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Speaker 4: a bit, and then I get yelled at. Hey, dog,

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Speaker 4: I'm not every time I talk to my wife to

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Speaker 4: say something, she started hollering at me. I'm nothing to

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Speaker 4: do that, man, And you're not finna holler at me,

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Speaker 4: not in my house. You not, not when you want to.

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry. I'm not accepting that from anybody. And this

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Speaker 4: ain't about disrespecting her, but it's a lot about her

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Speaker 4: disrespecting you. We got a meal playing for every week

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Speaker 4: and the kids still got to set a bedtime every night.

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Speaker 4: Then you say, your wife control your life too. You

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Speaker 4: have sex when she want to have sex, and we

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Speaker 4: do it the way she want to do it. I

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Speaker 4: get order around and moved around, pushed and shoved in

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Speaker 4: the position that hurt my back, and she almost pulled

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Speaker 4: my arm out the other socket.

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Speaker 3: But I never say a word because I don't want

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Speaker 3: to ruin the moment.

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Speaker 4: Well, I tell you what we're doing. Well, I can

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Speaker 4: fix this for you right here. Oh, we're snatching the

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Speaker 4: jerking now. Okay, see our participat with you?

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Speaker 3: Jes how you? Oh?

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Speaker 4: Oh, we throw in our backs. Okay, are you gonna

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Speaker 4: move my hips over there? You get your hips over here?

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Speaker 4: See put your leg over there. You know I can

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Speaker 4: fix that little moment.

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Speaker 3: You haven't. So did she do something rough to you?

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Speaker 3: Didn't I go rough? Back? Oh? We rough?

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Speaker 4: Or we rough rough, stretch, stretch, snatch, snatchull.

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Speaker 3: Hit it, hit it back out back out.

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Speaker 4: You know what we're doing in here? I turned it

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Speaker 4: into that. But you ain't gonna do that because you

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Speaker 4: don't want to ruin the moment. Now, Brother, starting to

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Speaker 4: sound to me a bit wimpy. It's just starting to

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Speaker 4: sound a bit wimpy to me, and I don't know

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Speaker 4: if you can control her because she pretty much sees

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Speaker 4: the same thing I see in this letter. Okay, so

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Speaker 4: then after y'all have sex and you can hurt you

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Speaker 4: a little back. She almost pulled your arm out to socker,

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Speaker 4: that's a snatch.

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Speaker 3: Over you.

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Speaker 4: That's what that is, right, they pull your arm out

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Speaker 4: the side. Okay, My parents think my children and I

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Speaker 4: need to do an intervention. You do you do with

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Speaker 4: my wife? And then, Hugh the crazy part. I found

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Speaker 4: out my teenage daughter go to their house to freely

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Speaker 4: date and she has boys visit her there. I trust

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Speaker 4: my parents' supervision, but it hurts me that I can't

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Speaker 4: share the experience with my daughter.

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Speaker 1: What.

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Speaker 3: No, that's not a statement that her father makes.

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Speaker 2: All right, Steve, hang on, we'll have your response coming

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Speaker 2: up at twenty three minutes after the hour, part two

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Speaker 2: of it Today's Strawberry Letter, subject my little control freak.

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Speaker 2: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 2: Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 5: Do you ever notice your floor still look dirty even

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Speaker 5: after you mop? Power mop gives you a deeper clean

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Speaker 5: you can see and feel, unlike stream mops. Swift for

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Speaker 5: Power Mop absorbs more dirt and locks it away even

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Speaker 5: and hard to reach places like behind the toilet. The

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Speaker 5: new micro scrubbers deliver thousands of tiny, deep cleaning actions

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Speaker 5: for results that look, smell, and feel clean. No more

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Speaker 5: dirty floors. Try the Swift for Power Mop. Love it

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Speaker 5: or your money back?

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Speaker 2: All right, Come on, Steve, let'treecap today's strawberry letter. The

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Speaker 2: subject is my little control freak.

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Speaker 4: He's forty nine, she's forty five. She's an ex military.

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Speaker 4: She run a tight ship around there, controls everything. Or

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Speaker 4: the kids have to write up bedtime, they having meal

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Speaker 4: plans every day of the week.

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Speaker 3: They can't.

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Speaker 4: She's a disciplinarian, so so he gets to be the

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Speaker 4: fun parent. She don't have a problem with that. But

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Speaker 4: she controls everything. And now she control the way they

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Speaker 4: have sex, when they have sex, how they have sex.

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Speaker 3: And he'd be hurt, be hurting me.

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Speaker 4: She be hurting me, and she hurt my back, and

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Speaker 4: then she pulled my arm out to socket.

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Speaker 3: She snatched at me, and I was over here.

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Speaker 4: I ain't even want to but I ain't wanna say

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Speaker 4: nothing because I ain't want to ruin the moment.

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Speaker 3: I don't like her sex.

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Speaker 4: No one, I'm not gonna be able to help you. Man,

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Speaker 4: this letter right here, and so all of this, And

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Speaker 4: then now you find out that your teenage daughter goes

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Speaker 4: over your parents' house that has boys come over there

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Speaker 4: and meet her over there, and you trust your parents' supervision.

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Speaker 4: You just hate that you're not allowed to enjoy the

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Speaker 4: experience with your daughter what.

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Speaker 3: You do.

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Speaker 4: Ain't never heard the father say that, but the boys

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Speaker 4: come over to visit my daughters. I just want to

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Speaker 4: be that help enjoy the experience. I ain't never heard

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Speaker 4: of father say that. By no boy coming over to

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Speaker 4: the house and meet their daughter. Hey, man, what's wrong

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Speaker 4: with you? What is wrong with you? Are you so

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Speaker 4: busy being a fun parent that you think everything about

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Speaker 4: parenting is fun because it ain't. Your daughter needs some discipline.

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Speaker 4: If you lieing your daughter to sneak around over her

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Speaker 4: mama's house, I got news for you. She's taking on

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Speaker 4: the attitude that she has to sneak around. And now

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Speaker 4: I guess what she gonna sneak around to do something

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Speaker 4: else too.

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Speaker 5: Ah.

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Speaker 4: But you have a little grandbaby in a minute that

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Speaker 4: you being to play with it, having an experience and

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Speaker 4: all that I'm telling you, man, everything need to check

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Speaker 4: in balance system, including your wife. But you gonna seem

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Speaker 4: like you're the one that's gonna do it now. Your

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Speaker 4: mom and daddy and told you to have an intervention,

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Speaker 4: which is a little crazy after you're married to But

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Speaker 4: you're gonna sit up here. You ain't gonna do that,

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Speaker 4: just ignorant, no run around telling everybody what to do,

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Speaker 4: and your daughter over there. It hurts me that I

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Speaker 4: can't share experience with my daughter. I don't think it

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Speaker 4: would go well if we. If I shared this with

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Speaker 4: my wife. Hell now, if you tell your wife your

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Speaker 4: daughter over there sneaking around, hell no, because she know

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Speaker 4: what the boys is up to and you should too.

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Speaker 3: And honestly, I don't think she'll change her behaviors.

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Speaker 4: I don't want my children to be afraid of they mom,

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Speaker 4: gonna have bad memories of their childhood. I'm torn between

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Speaker 4: a great structured life that my wife provides and the

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Speaker 4: freedom my teenagers need. Boy, you so busy trying to

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Speaker 4: be your teenager's friend. You're gonna mess around, man, and

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Speaker 4: have some more people to be friends with. You gonna

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Speaker 4: be a friendly granddaddy in a minute, Gary man, Shirley said,

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Speaker 4: you need to man up. But man, if Shirley got

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Speaker 4: to tell you the man, if you got a problem, though,

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Speaker 4: you got real problem with it. Backfire If I try

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Speaker 4: to get my wife to change, I tell you what.

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Speaker 4: If you don't get her to change, it's already backfiring.

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Speaker 4: You don't like the sex you have it, Your kids

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Speaker 4: don't like their mama. Your parents think she need intervention?

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Speaker 4: What's wrong with y'all just letting this woman do what

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Speaker 4: she want to do them? You bring it up. She

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Speaker 4: yelled at me, and you don't yell at me in

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Speaker 4: my own house. That's not what you're gonna do. I

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Speaker 4: ain't let nobody do that to me. You don't get

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Speaker 4: to yell at me in my own house. You gonna

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Speaker 4: get to do that. Should I leave it alone for now?

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Speaker 3: For now? Bruh? How much worse do it need to get?

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Speaker 3: What if you go?

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Speaker 4: Should I leave it alone for now? When you're gonna

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Speaker 4: bring it up after the baby get here? When you're

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Speaker 4: gonna be bringing up after you got your whole back

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Speaker 4: snatched out having sex? You ain't driving that ship either?

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Speaker 3: Man? What you doing?

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Speaker 4: You ain't doing nothing at your house? You just over

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Speaker 4: there are willing participant. You're not participating in the parenting.

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Speaker 4: You're not participating his sex. You ain't making no choices,

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Speaker 4: You ain't got nothing to do with.

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Speaker 3: The schedule it.

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Speaker 4: Hey, dog, you scared of her, That's what it sounds

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Speaker 4: like to me. You are scared of her.

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Speaker 3: Yep.

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Speaker 4: She gonna come in there with some dough with divorce

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Speaker 4: papers one night because she done found a man somewhere.

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Speaker 3: You gonna sign them. I don't get I don't wanna

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Speaker 3: sign these paper, but she made me.

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Speaker 4: I gotta go give me somewhere else in there my kids,

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Speaker 4: she got cussy and kids again. Man, whatever, Okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it's just weakness.

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Speaker 2: He's just scary individual. I mean, I don't know. Counseling

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Speaker 2: therapy might help in this situation. I think it always

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Speaker 2: helps no matter what the issue is. But he'll probably

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Speaker 2: be too scared to go there as well. You know.

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Speaker 4: It's just I have suggestions for anybody that want it

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Speaker 4: from me. I don't think I'm married to you or not.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean they should go together.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because there's she's she's still doing it military drill

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Speaker 2: sergeant style, and that's not cool either. They need some

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Speaker 2: sort of balance. In this marriage. He needs to participate

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Speaker 2: in the marriage. First of all.

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Speaker 3: It's just wow, she hurting his back and stuff they have.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, he said here.

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Speaker 3: She almost pulled my arm on my socket.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, y'all, y'all outside any gara.

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Speaker 1: What is happening? Try it now? Try it now, Lay

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Speaker 1: under that car.

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Speaker 3: Till I won't you come out. She almost snatched my

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Speaker 3: arm out of my socket.

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Speaker 1: I was only with, Yeah, why would you let her

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Speaker 1: do that?

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Speaker 3: All right?

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Speaker 1: Listen post you're going and.

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Speaker 4: Hiding from hon to the bed and then she gonna

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Speaker 4: pull my arm almost out the socket.

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Speaker 2: Run Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram

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Speaker 2: and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast of

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Speaker 2: can download it today. Coming up at forty six minutes

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Speaker 2: after the hour, we got Junior and Sports Talk right

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Speaker 2: after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.