1 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast 2 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:10,760 Speaker 1: build you from the inside out. 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,600 Speaker 2: Now here's Jay Glacier. 4 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:17,479 Speaker 1: Welcome into Unbreakable mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer. My 5 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:21,080 Speaker 1: wife Rosie and I are on the second week of 6 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: our one year anniversary. We're just gonna keep celebrating. But 7 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:27,480 Speaker 1: this is part two of a podcast we've done where 8 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 1: we're trying to show the world never too late to 9 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: find love. And on our wedding our honeymoon, Rosey and 10 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: I listed a handful of things that we did to 11 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,879 Speaker 1: find love later in life. This is part two, It's 12 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:42,559 Speaker 1: never too late to find love. So many of you 13 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: have asked, hey, can you give us a guide? How 14 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:48,159 Speaker 1: did you find love later in life? What is it 15 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,320 Speaker 1: you two did to find a lot love in your 16 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 1: fifties and the outpouring of questions and I think hope 17 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 1: that we've given people is fantastic. But I said, you're right, 18 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 1: let's give people a guidebook. Let's give people a little 19 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,480 Speaker 1: taste of what we did, because there was a lot 20 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 1: of work that went into our journey, right Yeah, So 21 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 1: Rosie and I honor a honeymoon actually jotted down a 22 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: good fifteen things that we've done over the last four 23 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:22,560 Speaker 1: years in the past to get ourselves into this position 24 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,919 Speaker 1: to find love and then get ourselves in a position 25 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 1: where we don't screw up love and get ourselves in 26 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,200 Speaker 1: the position. We take this love and we've run with 27 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: it to where we are right now. So we're going 28 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 1: to go back and forth on certain different things. But 29 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,959 Speaker 1: first of all, thanks for coming back here on my podcast. 30 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 1: It was hard to get. 31 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 3: This guest, and this time I'm coming back as your wife, 32 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:43,680 Speaker 3: which is super cool. 33 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 4: And I just had a recent name change. 34 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,880 Speaker 3: I'm changing my last name from Tennis and to Glazer, 35 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 3: which is really never thought i'd be doing that, so 36 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 3: it's really special. 37 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 1: I love it, and just you know, again, a lot 38 00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: of hard work went into this for the two of 39 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,720 Speaker 1: us to find love later on life. 40 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 2: I never knew I. 41 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: Was capable of feeling this level of joy until Rosie. 42 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 1: Until this, I always thought that I'd sabotage everything. I 43 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 1: always thought that I would grow alone. And I think 44 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: you also had kind of made it almost a decision 45 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 1: right that, like, yeah, it's not gonna happen, and that's good. 46 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: I'm just going to take care everybody else in the 47 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:24,320 Speaker 1: world except for you. 48 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, I had always been looking for it, but I 49 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:29,799 Speaker 3: just was like I was waiting. I was waiting for 50 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 3: the right person. But meanwhile I kept getting like older 51 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 3: and older, and then at some point I was like, 52 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I'm like, you know, my fifties and 53 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 3: I still haven't found it. So it was really nice 54 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 3: when I was found you, and I was just preparing myself. 55 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 1: All right, so let's dive in here, right, We're going 56 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,639 Speaker 1: to go back and forth here. I think i'll kind 57 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:49,799 Speaker 1: of you want me to read back and forth? Yeah, right, 58 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 1: so this is this isn't this isn't no order okay 59 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 1: of how we fell in love. 60 00:02:58,080 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 4: Oh, this is a good one. Let go of the 61 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,240 Speaker 4: ghost to the past. You shouldn't. 62 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 3: You shouldn't keep them around, Seriously, let go of the 63 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,079 Speaker 3: ghosts of the past. More in the loss, so you're 64 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:08,160 Speaker 3: not mourning it when you meet your new relationship. 65 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:10,239 Speaker 4: Even if you believe that's all. 66 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,360 Speaker 3: You need to move on, it's not fair to the 67 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,919 Speaker 3: other person. So that's like, you know, if you're hanging 68 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,239 Speaker 3: on to the you know, ghost to the past of 69 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 3: the ex boyfriend or the ex girlfriend, and you know, 70 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 3: when you're with the new person and you don't want 71 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:26,520 Speaker 3: to spend any time talking about that those people because 72 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:29,920 Speaker 3: that's not you know, they usually don't want to hear it. 73 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,640 Speaker 3: So just don't let the past relationships affect your future relationship. 74 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 1: You don't want to just constantly talk about this and 75 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: that that, or yeah, show off who you've been with in. 76 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 4: The past, exactly, you don't. Nobody cares. Yeah, they want 77 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 4: to be you're genuinely interested in them. 78 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 3: So that's something that that's a big one that I 79 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 3: think of a lot of people. 80 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 1: If you're talking about your exits, then you're not on 81 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,680 Speaker 1: the pedestal. You're not putting that person across on you 82 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 1: right on. 83 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 2: The pedestal, exactly. 84 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. So now a lot of those folks is have 85 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 1: a fine love, but also how to keep it once 86 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: you meet that person? 87 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, right, exactly right. So another one here. 88 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: Is don't wait till everything's perfect to find that perfect map. 89 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 1: And what I mean about this is like when you're boxing, Okay, 90 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 1: you don't just throw punches when everything's perfect. You gotta 91 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 1: throw constantly. I can't just throw across when oh I 92 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,240 Speaker 1: see that opening. I gotta throw them constantly, right, I 93 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 1: gotta throw my bombs. I gotta throw my jams, I 94 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,719 Speaker 1: gotta throw my my hooks. I gotta constantly move and 95 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:26,520 Speaker 1: boba move. I gotta throw from different angles in different situations. 96 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:29,640 Speaker 1: Same with your love life. You can't just say, Okay, 97 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 1: now I'm at the greatest place I've ever been. Okay, 98 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 1: this person has all these boxes that I want checked. 99 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 1: Just doesn't work like that. Life doesn't work like that. 100 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:41,880 Speaker 1: A lot of us we hold ourselves back because we're like, oh, well, 101 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 1: this isn't perfect, and that's not perfect, and. 102 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 2: This or I am not in the best place right now. 103 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:51,479 Speaker 3: Fuck that, like right like I wasn't when I wasn't 104 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:55,840 Speaker 3: in the best place work but because of COVID, because 105 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,479 Speaker 3: I because normally I would be working, but during that 106 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 3: time I was off. So the situation was how I 107 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 3: was able to meet you because I was available to 108 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:05,040 Speaker 3: go hang out with you. 109 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 2: So yeah, I love it all right, this is the 110 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 2: next one here, I love this one. 111 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,720 Speaker 4: Uh, break your mold of the type, break your mold 112 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:12,400 Speaker 4: of a type. 113 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 3: It's hard. It's hard enough to find love. So don't 114 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 3: make your pool or make your pool a cup of water. 115 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. 116 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 3: So, if you have a prototype of what you know, 117 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 3: this person has to be here's the. 118 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 2: People have a list. 119 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, they have a list. 120 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 3: Start they have to you know, have this amount of 121 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 3: this job, just make this amount of money. If you 122 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 3: have all these requirements that your lists, your your pool 123 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,720 Speaker 3: gets really small rather than being like, you know what, 124 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:39,600 Speaker 3: I'm open for whatever, and it becomes a couple becomes yeah, I. 125 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 4: Love that exactly. 126 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 1: I'm a good friend with one of the most beautiful 127 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:44,760 Speaker 1: women I've ever seen in my life, still single, and 128 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:47,920 Speaker 1: she has this stupid high pool and you're. 129 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 2: One of my best friends. Yeah, And I was like, 130 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 2: you're you're taking away. 131 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 1: Like like and by the way, I'm not saying this 132 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:56,680 Speaker 1: because I know, but but you're but yeah. But then 133 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 1: by the way, there's like a great dude I want 134 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 1: to her up with, and she's like, no, he's not 135 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,479 Speaker 1: this certain amount of I And then later on and 136 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:06,360 Speaker 1: then I you know, told him now she has a 137 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 1: stupid eyed rule. And then later on she got to 138 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 1: know them where she's like, you know, I think I 139 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: like to go out with him and he's like, no way, 140 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,479 Speaker 1: I'm not being with somebody this shallow. That's gonna be like, hey, 141 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: I care more about how like have we get older too, 142 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: We're gonna you get shorter and you get whatever it is, right, 143 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,600 Speaker 1: so you gotta kind of look past or it's like, hey, 144 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 1: I just want someone with this color hair. 145 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,559 Speaker 2: Well those dudes can balls. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't 146 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:30,599 Speaker 2: make any sense. It doesn't. 147 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,680 Speaker 1: We're a girl, I want her to have this kind 148 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 1: of body or this or that, like it just limits you, 149 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: like look that soul. And then but again, like Rosie 150 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 1: and I when we got together, we didn't make this bond, like, hey, 151 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:46,159 Speaker 1: we don't want to become that couple that just doesn't 152 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 1: take care of themselves and let themselves go. 153 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,400 Speaker 2: And I've been in those kind of relationships for your stress. 154 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:52,839 Speaker 1: So I was gonna eat and drink like created this 155 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,200 Speaker 1: and that Rosie and Iron a health journey, so we 156 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: always are presenting our best. 157 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,160 Speaker 3: So yeah, it's not only that we weep bond too, 158 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,039 Speaker 3: because we like you're we're doing paleo right now. So 159 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,880 Speaker 3: it's like a thing that we each we each do 160 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,000 Speaker 3: like together, So it's like something we do together. 161 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:06,839 Speaker 4: We work out together. 162 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,360 Speaker 3: So we do a lot of things that are beneficial 163 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 3: to ourselves, but we do them together. 164 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,120 Speaker 4: So it's something that we share which bonds us too. 165 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:14,440 Speaker 2: I love this one for you. 166 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, this is this is what I did before 167 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 3: I met you, right, And I was single, and I 168 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 3: was always like waiting and waiting, write a love letter 169 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 3: to your future mister or missus, right, what you want 170 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 3: in life, Like I want to feel like God has 171 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 3: a hand in the set, has a hand in setting 172 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,880 Speaker 3: this up, how I wanted to be treated, how you 173 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 3: feel about them, and what you're looking for in your soulmate, 174 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 3: I your partner in crime, confident you travel together, in 175 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 3: other words, just setting your attentions so and just put 176 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:42,320 Speaker 3: it away somewhere like that, you know. 177 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 4: And I would do it from time to time. 178 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 3: I would write like what I was wanting and in 179 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 3: my soulmate, and I found it in you, which is 180 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:49,960 Speaker 3: keeper cool. 181 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,840 Speaker 1: And Rosie kind of got me to remember too, like 182 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 1: I used to go outside even growing up, and I 183 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 1: talked to God about her. It turned out to be her. 184 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 1: I'm a big I'm a big softie like that, and 185 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 1: I'm very I'm very, very romantic romantic, and I've always 186 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:10,120 Speaker 1: kind of been like that looking for that person because 187 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 1: I always didn't feel lonely on the inside. 188 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 2: So I've always been kind of talking to Rosie to 189 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 2: my soulmate. Hard thing is. 190 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,760 Speaker 1: Write a love letter. I love that because then you're 191 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 1: going to see but it's a love letter to that person. 192 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,840 Speaker 1: I want to be treated like this, but I can't 193 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: wait to meet you. 194 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:25,040 Speaker 2: I love you. And it makes it more like, hey, 195 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 2: all right, It makes it feel like. 196 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 3: It's closer and yeah, yeah, it makes it feel like 197 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,120 Speaker 3: it can happen. And you're just you're putting your attentions 198 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 3: out there, which is really powerful. 199 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:33,520 Speaker 2: How many times did you write that? 200 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 4: I did it quite a few times. 201 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I put it somewhere like and I would 202 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,079 Speaker 3: see it like years later and I'd be like, oh 203 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 3: my gosh, but I was still you know, I would 204 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:44,080 Speaker 3: find them from time to time and I'd be like, okay, 205 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,520 Speaker 3: I still haven't found that person, and then a hope 206 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 3: every time, Yeah it would and then recently I found 207 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 3: it and I was like, oh my gosh, I wrote 208 00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:53,840 Speaker 3: the things I wanted I found and you really so yeah, 209 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 3: that was everything I wanted. 210 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 2: That Well, I gotta. 211 00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:00,599 Speaker 1: See this, okay ready, And I'm going to kind of 212 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:04,480 Speaker 1: use some sport analogies here, sell scout do an autopsy 213 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 1: of past relationships to see the things that you did 214 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:13,199 Speaker 1: that you want to improve upon, You want to chance right, 215 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 1: So don't worry about things they did so self, scout. 216 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 1: So I mean by this is the NFL, you'll you'll, 217 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 1: especially like the bye week coaches will go and they'll 218 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 1: look to see what they've done right and wrong at 219 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 1: that point, or they'll look at their own players and go, 220 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:37,400 Speaker 1: hey man, when you're when we're trying to throw a 221 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:41,760 Speaker 1: pass over here, we're tipping our hand, or we're we 222 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 1: have a flinch over here. But you sell scout. You 223 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,080 Speaker 1: don't just look at the other team. You look at 224 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,760 Speaker 1: yourself and see where are we giving our ready our 225 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 1: own game plan? Where were we hurting ourselves? Where are 226 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 1: we shooting ourselves. 227 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 2: In the foot? 228 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:55,440 Speaker 1: Same thing there, So don't look and see where, oh 229 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 1: I was in this relationship and this person of this, 230 00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,960 Speaker 1: This is where did I do this and this and this? 231 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:06,200 Speaker 2: Where did I have a part of where it fell apart? 232 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,720 Speaker 2: And work to improve upon those That's the key. 233 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,840 Speaker 3: That's what its because you can't change anyone else. The 234 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 3: only thing you can change is yourself. So yeah, that's right, 235 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 3: that's very I love that one. That's a good one. 236 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 3: That's a really good one. 237 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:19,720 Speaker 2: You're right, it's so funny. 238 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 1: Like, we have a guy named Greg Hardin who we 239 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,439 Speaker 1: found on this podcast who just passed away, and he's coached, 240 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,040 Speaker 1: He's coached me between the years, coach Tom Brady's coached 241 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:32,240 Speaker 1: Michael Phelps, Charles Woods and people like that. And he 242 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,080 Speaker 1: was telling about the story with Brady, and he's like, Tom, 243 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 1: how old are you? You know? 244 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:40,000 Speaker 2: Tom's like nineteen, How old are your coaches? Fifty? What's 245 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 2: chances they're going to change? Well? Probably not. How long 246 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 2: they've been doing this? Yeah, thirty years? So who could change? 247 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 2: Not them? But I can't. Well, yeah, you could change, 248 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:51,319 Speaker 2: that's it. But I said, you've got to be the 249 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:51,679 Speaker 2: one that. 250 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:55,240 Speaker 1: Change and make those improvements because you're not to change 251 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: somebody else, but you can change how you deal with things. Hey, 252 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:05,079 Speaker 1: where did I have culpabled? And it was a part 253 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 1: of where this thing fell apart? Responsibility of where I 254 00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 1: fell apart, and where I can prove by that, So 255 00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 1: I don't do this to the next person. 256 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's a great opportunity. 257 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,560 Speaker 3: So when you do meet that person, you've already you know, 258 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,520 Speaker 3: you've done work. 259 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 2: Right. 260 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:27,520 Speaker 3: I love this, So put the monsters to bed, okay monsters? Yeah, 261 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,559 Speaker 3: So it probably would have happened earlier for us if 262 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:31,400 Speaker 3: we didn't think that things were blockiness. 263 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,560 Speaker 4: You know who was workiness? We were we were blocking us. 264 00:11:34,559 --> 00:11:35,680 Speaker 4: We were telling ourselves that. 265 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,800 Speaker 3: You know, it took Jay to be relentless for both 266 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,280 Speaker 3: of us to put those monsters to bed, and if 267 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,559 Speaker 3: he still didn't, I wouldn't have found that. 268 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 2: So you gotta go out and yeah, we've got to 269 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:47,719 Speaker 2: So nothing's against. 270 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 4: Us with us, and you were fighting for us, like 271 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,319 Speaker 4: very hard. 272 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,040 Speaker 2: And we put these monsters to bed. 273 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 1: What I mean by this guy is again when I 274 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,559 Speaker 1: say that I wasn't feeling worthy of being loved. 275 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,439 Speaker 2: I always thought it's just never gonna happen. 276 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:02,080 Speaker 1: And so I was the one convincing myself and I 277 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,600 Speaker 1: was the one sabotaging because I felt like, you have 278 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:09,280 Speaker 1: these outside sources that were against me. I was convinced 279 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 1: that I have these outside sources that were against me, 280 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:15,480 Speaker 1: and then no matter what I did, I couldn't beat 281 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:19,079 Speaker 1: them because it was preordained that I'm never going to 282 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:19,560 Speaker 1: find love. 283 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 2: Rosie. I had a dream. 284 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, I always felt because I had a dream, there's 285 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,880 Speaker 3: just when you were like eight, Hey, there's just a 286 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 3: monster that like you know had me in it. 287 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,080 Speaker 1: And said you'll never you'll always be mine, You'll never 288 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,720 Speaker 1: find love, and then you believed. 289 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 2: It for your whole life. 290 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I always had like yeah, yeah, so I 291 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,760 Speaker 3: always thought that, you know, this is like it's never 292 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:42,480 Speaker 3: gonna happen for me. 293 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:46,560 Speaker 4: There's something blocking me, there's something stopping me. But it's 294 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,679 Speaker 4: at some point you get to realize, wait, you know what, 295 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 4: there's nothing blocking me. It's just me. 296 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,959 Speaker 3: I'm the one who's blocking me. And I got to 297 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,319 Speaker 3: put the monster to bed so you can hut the 298 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,920 Speaker 3: monster and find love. Because there's if you feel that 299 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,200 Speaker 3: way and you're there's something you're thinking that's blocking you, 300 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:01,680 Speaker 3: then guess what, you'll always have these walls up and 301 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,200 Speaker 3: you you probably. 302 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 4: Will succeed in that. 303 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,240 Speaker 3: Or you say, you know what, I'm going to put 304 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,120 Speaker 3: this monster to bed and I can't find it and 305 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:09,320 Speaker 3: I am lovable and. 306 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,640 Speaker 1: You know you can find that too, you know, when 307 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,960 Speaker 1: we both did that. So again I heard this about Rosie. 308 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 1: Her sister brought it up. I was like, oh my god, 309 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 1: you you thought that since you were eight, Like that 310 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,840 Speaker 1: is hard. But then I told her I have the 311 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:27,640 Speaker 1: same thing, like I feel like, man, something in the 312 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:30,720 Speaker 1: universe against me, and then we realize. 313 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 2: It was us. Yeah, we work to get past it. 314 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,480 Speaker 1: And then still you're so afraid even going up to 315 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 1: your wedding day, you're horrify. You believe this story that 316 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 1: you've made up for all these years, right, and. 317 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 3: It's comfortable to cling on to you because it's what 318 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,440 Speaker 3: you've always told yourself, so you're real comfortable with it. 319 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,439 Speaker 3: And when you challenge it and yeah, yeah, grateful the 320 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,480 Speaker 3: story you're most comfortable with. So somebody you've got to 321 00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 3: challenge it and rewrite your story so you can have 322 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:54,960 Speaker 3: a happy ending. 323 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,280 Speaker 2: It's the racket, you said that. 324 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:59,320 Speaker 4: We yeah, it's a racket you're running ourselves, right. 325 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,320 Speaker 1: Yeah. So now here we are about to get married. 326 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:03,720 Speaker 1: Try not to cry as I met myself. But we're 327 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:06,959 Speaker 1: in Italy. It's just the two of us, and she's 328 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,559 Speaker 1: about to walk down the island and I look at her, 329 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:13,800 Speaker 1: try not to cry, but I said, baby baby, she's 330 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,679 Speaker 1: across she's about to walk down. I'm already up there 331 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 1: at the alter and I'm like baby baby, and she 332 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 1: looks me and I said, hey, the monster's dead, and 333 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,440 Speaker 1: the two of us just start crying. By the time 334 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:28,520 Speaker 1: she got to me. Look, I'm crying right out the 335 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 1: time she got to me. We were just the two 336 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:35,480 Speaker 1: of us because fifty four years from fifty three years 337 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:39,360 Speaker 1: from me of this painful thought that I didn't control it. 338 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:43,800 Speaker 1: Something was genuinely against me. It's a painful existence, it is. 339 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 1: And we got to put that pain aside. And I said, 340 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,920 Speaker 1: you know, if I had to wait, I don't don't 341 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,240 Speaker 1: resent how long it took him. So glad about her 342 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,760 Speaker 1: journey for two things. Number One, I do think the 343 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,920 Speaker 1: pain I've been in, I've been in it so I 344 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 1: can help others through theirs for sure, right with the 345 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,880 Speaker 1: podcast like this, in a book and just and be 346 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:04,600 Speaker 1: able to just how many people I've been able to 347 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,520 Speaker 1: hope now to give words to mental health. 348 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 2: I had to go through this so I can help 349 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:12,120 Speaker 2: others through THEIRS. And the other thing was, if I. 350 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,840 Speaker 1: Wait fifty three years to find my soulmate and I 351 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 1: get her for the rest of eternity, I'm good. 352 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:20,360 Speaker 4: It's definitely worth the wait for me for sure. 353 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 1: Put the monster to the monsters to bed. Okay, men, menay, 354 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 1: don't do things only when you women ask for it. 355 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:33,840 Speaker 2: Okay. 356 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 1: Usually women are a lot of times women are more. 357 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 1: I hear it's my my female friends. 358 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 2: We heard a lot. Oh he's not he doesn't kiss 359 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 2: me enough, he doesn't hug me enough. He doesn't do this. 360 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 2: So underpromise and over deliver. It's the best business advice. 361 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,600 Speaker 1: It's also the same advice and love and so like, 362 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:53,400 Speaker 1: I don't just hug her when she asked for it. 363 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 1: I'mn't just kiss her when she asked. I don't just 364 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:57,240 Speaker 1: rub her back when she asked. I don't just aire 365 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:00,520 Speaker 1: flowers when she asked. I'm constantly thinking every day I 366 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 1: actually wake up, what can I do to improve my 367 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,160 Speaker 1: wife's life today? 368 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, you're really my girlfriend unsick? 369 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:09,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you do the same thing. But I did 370 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 2: have to explain it to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 371 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,800 Speaker 3: It's like little little things that show the person that 372 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 3: you Karen. 373 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 4: It's just but you're really good at that. 374 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 1: And don't look at it like, oh I did that already, right, 375 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 1: I put my time and I got him a card, 376 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,000 Speaker 1: I got already on the flowers, I already game, I 377 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,000 Speaker 1: already gave him kids. 378 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:29,000 Speaker 2: I already gave Oh. It's a constantly and everything. It's 379 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:29,600 Speaker 2: an everyday thing. 380 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:33,000 Speaker 4: Little it's not even it's not even it could be anything, but. 381 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 2: I do like this one. I want to do this 382 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 2: one which life is a chicken. 383 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 4: Sick Oh that chi can standard. 384 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:40,960 Speaker 2: Sorry. 385 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, So like this was like when we went to 386 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:47,360 Speaker 3: Thailand and we were with some monks and stuff. 387 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 1: And back kids, like were tiring some months we're not 388 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,120 Speaker 1: partying some months. 389 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:57,360 Speaker 4: In Thailand, right Kamalaya, and we went on a let me, 390 00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 4: let me give you the backstory. 391 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,320 Speaker 2: So I went to Thailand mind body spirit journey when 392 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,200 Speaker 2: Rosie and I broke up. 393 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,040 Speaker 1: That's the thing with like, I had to work on 394 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,360 Speaker 1: change and that's really where I learned. 395 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:10,120 Speaker 2: From these monks, like and they got me to learn 396 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:10,439 Speaker 2: from me. 397 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,040 Speaker 1: So basically like monks out there like your therapist, I 398 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 1: go out there, I was doing I was fighting more 399 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,680 Speaker 1: Thai in the jungle, which is right. I was. I 400 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,320 Speaker 1: learned breath work and meditation and this gratitude lists to 401 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:22,880 Speaker 1: me to do every day. You go back and listen 402 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,160 Speaker 1: to this podcast, you could hear a lot of things 403 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,800 Speaker 1: that I do now in these rituals for myself. But 404 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:32,399 Speaker 1: also after I said many they they've really helped me 405 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:36,200 Speaker 1: out my next off season and once I got myself 406 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,879 Speaker 1: a position with ROSI and I got back together. 407 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,479 Speaker 2: I said, I'd like for you to come with me 408 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 2: so you can learn all these things. 409 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,960 Speaker 1: And I dressed it up as like, so you could 410 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,240 Speaker 1: do it, so you can help me with because folks, 411 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:49,560 Speaker 1: I'm crazy, Like I'm not easy, right, I have clinical 412 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 1: depression of anxiety, bipolar ADHD, insomnia. It goes on and 413 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:56,760 Speaker 1: on and on, and I'm like, hey, I really want 414 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,560 Speaker 1: you to help learn all this, so you could help me. 415 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 1: So we could this breath working together, we could do 416 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,000 Speaker 1: this meditation they get, we could do this gratitude list together. 417 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,000 Speaker 2: But really more for Rosie. 418 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:09,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, without without letting her know, was really for Rosie 419 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,600 Speaker 1: and she needed this too. She needed these and she's 420 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,440 Speaker 1: got a therapy for a long time. But the way 421 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:15,840 Speaker 1: they do it out there is different. 422 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 2: Different. 423 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, they coach you and they get you to think 424 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,280 Speaker 3: differently to what you what you would. So when you 425 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,639 Speaker 3: and I started dating Imber, I was feeling kind of 426 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,360 Speaker 3: a little unworthy because I wasn't used to getting showered 427 00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:28,560 Speaker 3: with love. I wasn't used to you know. Here I 428 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,399 Speaker 3: was finding getting everything I wished for. But when you 429 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 3: get it, sometimes you feel unworthy of it and you 430 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:36,439 Speaker 3: feel like not deserving of it. So that's what I 431 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,439 Speaker 3: was telling that. I guess it was fear. It was 432 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,680 Speaker 3: fear of like, oh wait, everything's happening, but now it's 433 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,680 Speaker 3: going to get taken away, or you just feel undeserving. 434 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,760 Speaker 3: So so I was explaining this to the months and 435 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,240 Speaker 3: they're like, well, okay, so what's your your favorite food? 436 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,760 Speaker 3: So I was saying this R and D chicken sandwich, 437 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:53,199 Speaker 3: which is like if I could eat anything, it's I 438 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:55,720 Speaker 3: love the same. So so the monk says, okay, so 439 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:59,119 Speaker 3: when you're eating your chicken sandwich, are you worried that 440 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 3: the persons from you doesn't think that you're worthy of 441 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:04,520 Speaker 3: that chicken sandwich? 442 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,280 Speaker 4: Or are you just enjoying your chicken sandwich? 443 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaker 3: And I was like, yeah, actually, I'm enjoying my chicken 444 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,119 Speaker 3: sandwich and the fries and you know whatever else I 445 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,160 Speaker 3: have with And she's like, okay, so when you're eating 446 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 3: your chicken sandwich, do you think that the person sitting 447 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,919 Speaker 3: on the seat next to you doesn't think that you 448 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 3: deserve that chicken sandwich? And I'm like no, I'm just 449 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:21,919 Speaker 3: enjoying my chicken sandwich. And so she says, well, this 450 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 3: is your life your life is the chicken sandwich. Don't 451 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,679 Speaker 3: worry about what you know, if you're deserving or not 452 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:31,040 Speaker 3: worthy of it. Just enjoy your chicken sandwich. So that's 453 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:34,680 Speaker 3: what I real. The life is like the chicken sandwich. 454 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,800 Speaker 3: Just enjoy it. Enjoy it when it happens, Enjoy it 455 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,600 Speaker 3: while it happens. Don't worry about it getting taken away, 456 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 3: don't worry that you're worthy. Just enjoy it whatever it 457 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,600 Speaker 3: is that you're experiencing, and truly and just enjoy it. 458 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,640 Speaker 1: So she she came out of this and she was like, 459 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,359 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, my life's a chicken sandwich. 460 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,160 Speaker 2: What are you telling me about? What were Your life 461 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,359 Speaker 2: is a chicken sandwich? How'd you go? And maybe with 462 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,320 Speaker 2: a monkey you came out to your life, But she 463 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:56,919 Speaker 2: came out. 464 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:01,240 Speaker 3: It was really a different mind shift of from feeling 465 00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:03,320 Speaker 3: like I'm worthy rather than being like, oh wait no, 466 00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:06,920 Speaker 3: I'm going to enjoy this and it's it's enjoy and enjoy. 467 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,240 Speaker 1: So I think the last one here will finish this 468 00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 1: off here is protect your value and self esteem. And 469 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:17,960 Speaker 1: what I mean by that this is something Rosie made 470 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:22,800 Speaker 1: sure of. She made sure that, like Rosie, like you 471 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,440 Speaker 1: cannot walk all over Rosie. 472 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:28,359 Speaker 2: I have my meltdowns. I cannot fuck with Rosie. She 473 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,800 Speaker 2: does not take my ship now. 474 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:34,919 Speaker 1: At the same time, it's very compassionate for me, but 475 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,760 Speaker 1: I had to learn early, like I'm used to running 476 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,920 Speaker 1: people over. She's like, uh, I am protecting my value 477 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:44,439 Speaker 1: and self esteem. Yeah, and my respect for her is 478 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:47,760 Speaker 1: through the ceiling. I'm used to walk over with people 479 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,919 Speaker 1: and they just go I just I'll let them do 480 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 1: it because I don't want to. 481 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 2: Be more upset in two seconds. Same for you. 482 00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:00,040 Speaker 1: A lot of us will just take it because we 483 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 1: don't want conflict. And also we're like, oh, this will 484 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,320 Speaker 1: We'll get through it if I take it. Don't just 485 00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:04,679 Speaker 1: take it. 486 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:05,560 Speaker 2: Make sure. 487 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,200 Speaker 1: And she told me, Jay, we're gonna be together. You're 488 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,080 Speaker 1: always gonna treat me like this queen. You're never gonna 489 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,199 Speaker 1: walk home me. I'm never gonna be a doormat. She 490 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:16,359 Speaker 1: explained it to me. She doesn't exact like this, she 491 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,480 Speaker 1: said it going in say it to your partner too. 492 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,680 Speaker 1: I deserve to be treated like I deserve to be 493 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,199 Speaker 1: treated like a lion. I deserve to be treated like 494 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,639 Speaker 1: a lioness. I deserve to be treated like a queen. 495 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,720 Speaker 1: If you don't, this isn't gonna work for us. 496 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 3: And that'll that'll hurt the dynamics of your relationship because 497 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:34,800 Speaker 3: then you'll want presenting them because you don't like the 498 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:36,360 Speaker 3: way they talked to you or whatever it is. 499 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 4: But if you communicate and don't do it when you're mad, 500 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:38,680 Speaker 4: do it. 501 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,760 Speaker 3: Okay, you said the earlier I didn't like this or that, 502 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,960 Speaker 3: and then the person it gets a person a chance 503 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:46,440 Speaker 3: to be like, oh okay. So then they know how 504 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 3: to treat you as you're teaching them. So and you're 505 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,720 Speaker 3: really good at that. You're like you take notes. 506 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:55,920 Speaker 2: Well despite the idea Stea tell me healthy. 507 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, and then uh. 508 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 1: Man, I had I had one more here and now 509 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,280 Speaker 1: I'm sitting here going, oh my, guess what was it? Oh? 510 00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 2: Yeah. 511 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:08,840 Speaker 1: So Rosie and I have started a lot of rituals together, Yes, 512 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,640 Speaker 1: a lot of rituals. And like we do a ton 513 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,480 Speaker 1: of stuff now in the morning, and I'll tell people 514 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:18,000 Speaker 1: what is Like we get up, we do like we 515 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,800 Speaker 1: were doing breath work, am meditations, We do breath worcommendation right, 516 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:23,040 Speaker 1: all this in the morning. 517 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,240 Speaker 2: We take our dogs to go walk this to go 518 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 2: out in the morning. 519 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,880 Speaker 1: But while we're there, we do a gratitude list ten 520 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 1: things were grateful for in the day before. It could 521 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,600 Speaker 1: be anything. It could be like, hey, I'm grateful for 522 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,560 Speaker 1: the sky. Today, I'm grateful for We always start with 523 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,800 Speaker 1: them grateful for God. I'm grateful for each other. And 524 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,119 Speaker 1: then I'm grateful for we saw dolphins. 525 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:39,680 Speaker 2: I'm grateful for. 526 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,880 Speaker 1: Could be a pair of shoes, conversation I had conversation 527 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,520 Speaker 1: with your brother, right like, Yeah, it could be man, 528 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,840 Speaker 1: I got a great phone call today. I got it 529 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:50,400 Speaker 1: doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be smoke. 530 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 2: Could be anything. And I had to learned that tilt. 531 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,920 Speaker 2: How like for me and for you too. 532 00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 1: And you're like, how it's hard to feel grateful when 533 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:03,479 Speaker 1: and even I've explained to a lot of people it's easy. 534 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,480 Speaker 1: Like it just could be like, hey, I got me 535 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,640 Speaker 1: help today. Hey I got I got a pretty cool 536 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:14,000 Speaker 1: text from somebody. Hey, I've got this. I got I 537 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,199 Speaker 1: got a new belt, I got a new shirt that 538 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 1: I really like. 539 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 2: Anything. 540 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,680 Speaker 3: It could be anything, just little little things that could 541 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,200 Speaker 3: there's big things too sometimes, but a lot a lot 542 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,560 Speaker 3: of times it's not that it's just something small. 543 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,320 Speaker 1: Right, So the point is, so then we do the 544 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,680 Speaker 1: gratitude list. Then we work out. We do one of 545 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,399 Speaker 1: we should I run these stairs here in Malibu, and 546 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,600 Speaker 1: then we have the incredible and that's when we do 547 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,640 Speaker 1: our breathwork commentation right down at the bottom, and then 548 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,399 Speaker 1: we'll go usually do another workout. This is all before 549 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,520 Speaker 1: like eleven o'clock in the morning. We have these rituals. 550 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:45,760 Speaker 1: At night we do this. Then we do appreciate, celebrate smile. 551 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,080 Speaker 4: We take like that's something a Monk's Hottest, which is 552 00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:48,520 Speaker 4: really good. 553 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:52,800 Speaker 1: Two things at night and we're like, okay, something that 554 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:57,520 Speaker 1: happens today, and you like appreciate it, really celebrate, like 555 00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,360 Speaker 1: throw a party in your heart. 556 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,000 Speaker 2: Like really celebrate this thing and have the hugest smile 557 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:03,480 Speaker 2: on your face. 558 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:05,919 Speaker 1: So because think about it, Like, first of all, one, 559 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 1: when you smile, your body doesn't know and your brain 560 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,240 Speaker 1: doesn't know what's real or fake. It actually releases like 561 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,800 Speaker 1: a dorphins to help boosh your mood. But also think 562 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,640 Speaker 1: of how you are the next morning when you come 563 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,800 Speaker 1: home from a cool party. Think about how much better 564 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,080 Speaker 1: life is. So you're throwing a party in your heart, 565 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,040 Speaker 1: like a couple of things. Takes two to three minutes. 566 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:28,119 Speaker 1: Throw this party in your heart, but really celebrate, really smile, 567 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,159 Speaker 1: really feel it. It's so much better to go to 568 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:34,159 Speaker 1: bed that way than dreading the next morning, or dreading 569 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,359 Speaker 1: all the things that happen. 570 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 2: Or dealing with your problems, which I used to wake up. 571 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,320 Speaker 1: I used to go to bed with the worst anxiety 572 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,640 Speaker 1: from the crap that I had to face the next day, 573 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,280 Speaker 1: or what I was fearful was going to happen the 574 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:50,720 Speaker 1: next day, or bad things that happened that day. I'd 575 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:54,919 Speaker 1: sit there and harp on them instead of what we 576 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,760 Speaker 1: do now, which is we just celebrate. And you have 577 00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,520 Speaker 1: a book of prayers. We also read a prayer, and 578 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,679 Speaker 1: what we do pirus together. My point is we have 579 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:07,480 Speaker 1: we created all these rituals together. Don't get tired of it, 580 00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:09,560 Speaker 1: like you're never in a place like okay, been there, 581 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,880 Speaker 1: done that, We're good now. There is no we're good there, 582 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,520 Speaker 1: We're good now. Okay, You've got to continue to grow. 583 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,520 Speaker 1: And a lot of times we don't feel like. 584 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,639 Speaker 4: Doing these do them anyways, we don't know what. 585 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, to make sure that we have your rituals, create 586 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,520 Speaker 1: rituals together and keep it going. Don't say now on 587 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,280 Speaker 1: board of them or create numans like, but just do 588 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:29,119 Speaker 1: things to happen. 589 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,480 Speaker 3: It's a really good way to bond and just spend 590 00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:36,120 Speaker 3: time together and yeah, okay. 591 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 2: Where else you want to add everybody? 592 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, just like yeah, It's like we both found love 593 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,840 Speaker 3: later in life. And it was like something that I think, 594 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,600 Speaker 3: like because I have a lot of people that have 595 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:48,639 Speaker 3: reached out and they're like, oh, it gives them hope 596 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,879 Speaker 3: that you know, because in most of the people a 597 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:52,360 Speaker 3: lot of people are out there are single, they don't 598 00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,600 Speaker 3: have they haven't found their soul met So like I 599 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,680 Speaker 3: think when they see our story, it kind of gives 600 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 3: them hope because they're like, wait, you know, it's it's 601 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,640 Speaker 3: it's not too late, because if you're thinking that then 602 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,720 Speaker 3: it's discouraging. But if you realize it, it's never too 603 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:05,400 Speaker 3: late to find love. 604 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:06,159 Speaker 2: Yeah, it never is. 605 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:07,760 Speaker 1: One of the things behind in the air again like 606 00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:10,560 Speaker 1: self scout taking him into what you did wrong. And 607 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,359 Speaker 1: I look back now and I'm like, I was a 608 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,040 Speaker 1: lot for a lot of people, right, I was a 609 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 1: lot because I was trying to create this image of 610 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:22,040 Speaker 1: me I thought would be the one that would get love. 611 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:26,560 Speaker 1: When it turns out the real flawed, fucked up one 612 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:28,120 Speaker 1: is the one that everybody loves. 613 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:29,879 Speaker 2: And I see people now too. 614 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:34,119 Speaker 1: They're still doing putting on this front and there's so 615 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,919 Speaker 1: much energy and it's just no vulnerability there. And I'm 616 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,439 Speaker 1: most like, hey, just just be you, like I know 617 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:40,280 Speaker 1: that person's there. 618 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:41,199 Speaker 2: Just be you. 619 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:45,480 Speaker 1: People aren't. What I realized is people like the glaze. 620 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:47,800 Speaker 1: People love Jake living exactly. 621 00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:51,160 Speaker 3: And that's what when I look back on past relationship 622 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,640 Speaker 3: or even our relationship, the memories are that I admire 623 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,160 Speaker 3: the most and I like the most are the ones 624 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,640 Speaker 3: that when you're vulnerable, because those are the ones. 625 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,359 Speaker 4: I remember and I'm like, wow, you're genuine and vulnerable. 626 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,680 Speaker 3: And that's the parts that when I would look back, 627 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:05,240 Speaker 3: I'm like, I always we'll remember. 628 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,119 Speaker 1: And the last thing is again, all that we're teaching 629 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:12,560 Speaker 1: here and now coaching here now enough to take a 630 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,440 Speaker 1: month to do this right here. 631 00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:18,160 Speaker 4: Right now, exactly right, yeah, start it now, start it 632 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:18,720 Speaker 4: to day. 633 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,480 Speaker 1: When I was sitting here in my career, I would 634 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,760 Speaker 1: I would. I wouldn't put things off to the next week. 635 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,439 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm gonna use stuff now. Start changing my 636 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,520 Speaker 1: life now. And it took eleven years for me to 637 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,119 Speaker 1: get my first full time job every single day I 638 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:36,280 Speaker 1: gave myself hope of now I'm doing something now, and eventually, 639 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 1: thank you God Almighty in heaven, I broke through. So 640 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,960 Speaker 1: start these now, right, Start your journaling now where you 641 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,080 Speaker 1: can do certain things. 642 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:44,280 Speaker 2: Right. 643 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:46,200 Speaker 1: That's the other thing. We both journal now, which I 644 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:50,960 Speaker 1: need to do before Thailand. You've done it your whole life. 645 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's been very helpful for me. That has been 646 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:54,359 Speaker 4: very very. 647 00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,480 Speaker 2: So that's another ritual for us. Sometimes you and I 648 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:57,920 Speaker 2: will go in journal together. 649 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:01,040 Speaker 4: Put music on and journal right right right. 650 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,840 Speaker 2: So look, I really hope we've been able to help. 651 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,199 Speaker 1: We've never done this before where the two of us 652 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:11,960 Speaker 1: have sat down and just given us game plan, our guidebook, 653 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,800 Speaker 1: if you will, coaching people how to find love later 654 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 1: in life. 655 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:19,600 Speaker 2: Never too late to find love, trust us, it's never 656 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:21,280 Speaker 2: too late to fly. It's true. 657 00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,040 Speaker 4: It's true, it's true. 658 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:26,720 Speaker 1: We love you, We appreciate you all. Baby, Thank you 659 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:31,280 Speaker 1: for teaching me how to be and how to feel safe. 660 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,199 Speaker 1: And it's the biggest gift anybody can ever give me, 661 00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:39,240 Speaker 1: is feeling safe. It's not the money and the fame 662 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:43,239 Speaker 1: and this and then that. It's man, this, it's just 663 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:45,840 Speaker 1: safety that I don't know who ever felt before. It's 664 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:47,040 Speaker 1: the biggest gift anybody ever get. 665 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 3: Thank you for always supporting me and being there for me, 666 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,120 Speaker 3: and you always like always have my back and I 667 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:55,080 Speaker 3: always know that you know just for loving me because 668 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:56,640 Speaker 3: you're so really good at it. 669 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,000 Speaker 2: Love you, baby, now too late to find love. Just 670 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:02,200 Speaker 2: keep walking, us walk together.