WEBVTT - #200 Wow! We've Made It This Far! 0:00:11.080 --> 0:00:15.040 What's up, everybody? Welcome to the podcast. Good episode today, 0:00:15.160 --> 0:00:19.560 number two hundred, number two one hundred. I don't have 0:00:19.600 --> 0:00:26.000 any like confetti or anything special, any champagne to pop here, 0:00:27.480 --> 0:00:30.080 but it is episode two hundred and so that gives 0:00:30.120 --> 0:00:35.200 me just a huge sense of gratefulness that enough people 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:38.280 listen to this podcast and are engaged in this podcast 0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:43.320 to keep me motivated, to keep me encouraged so that 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:46.280 I want to keep making them, because really, that's what 0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:48.720 it comes down to. I would have stopped a long 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:52.159 time ago if the viewership wasn't very good or no 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:54.360 one really cared, or no one came up to me 0:00:54.400 --> 0:00:56.200 and meet and greets and said how excited they were 0:00:56.280 --> 0:00:58.720 about the podcast. So when I do hear that stuff, 0:00:58.760 --> 0:01:01.319 I love it, and it gives me motivation to keep 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:04.760 going because I have a lot of stuff going on, 0:01:05.560 --> 0:01:10.040 you know, between after midnight radio show to the Smiths 0:01:10.240 --> 0:01:19.080 YouTube vlog twice a week, to touring music which is 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:23.720 insane right now, to lack a River book which is 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:29.400 now out. What do you think about that? And that's crazy. 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:33.919 I have a book out, and so I'm an author 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:38.240 now technically officially, and so I'm supporting that book going 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:41.440 out and preaching and doing stuff with that. I also 0:01:41.480 --> 0:01:44.560 have Ye Apparel, which which I have to stay on 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:47.560 top of and all that of our seasonal launches and 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:51.520 keeping up with with everything that goes into running an 0:01:51.560 --> 0:01:56.080 apparel company. And then I'm my husband and I'm a father, 0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:59.480 and I have you know, duties here at the house. 0:02:01.120 --> 0:02:03.600 So there's just a lot of stuff going on, and 0:02:03.760 --> 0:02:08.200 the podcast is something that I need to make time 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:12.320 for and I do that because I'm so encouraged by 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:17.400 all the people that listen. I'll put it that way. 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:20.880 So I also have a morning show and iHeart now too, 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:24.560 but we'll talk about that later. Happy two hundred episode. 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:28.960 Thanks thanks for being here, and if you have a 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:32.360 question for me, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. 0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:36.560 That's the format of what we do here. And I 0:02:36.639 --> 0:02:38.400 want to talk about Like a River as well, So 0:02:38.520 --> 0:02:41.080 if you have a question about lack a River, go 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:44.639 ahead and send those in. Now that what I'm expecting 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:47.680 is people kind of getting into the book now and 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:50.639 digging a little bit deeper. Last week I talked about 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:53.760 I answered your questions about it, but I would love 0:02:53.760 --> 0:02:57.480 to be able to get deeper into the book itself. 0:02:57.880 --> 0:03:01.600 Maybe someone has a specific question and in the future, 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:04.800 not today, we're not live, but a specific question in 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:09.040 the future about a certain thing that I wrote, or 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:12.760 something that happened to me, or maybe a specific chapter like, Hey, 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:18.560 you mentioned in this specific chapter that this crazy thing 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:21.639 happened to you or you thought this or said this. 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:25.160 Why did you say that? Why did that happen to you? 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:29.120 What biblical evidence do you have to what you said? 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:33.000 Give me questions like that so that we could help 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:37.000 walk through it, so that if anyone is in a 0:03:37.040 --> 0:03:41.280 situation anywhere close to similar to mine, that will be 0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:45.240 very helpful. So use. What I'm saying is use this 0:03:45.280 --> 0:03:49.160 podcast is a way to bounce off ideas back to 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:52.600 me about like a river, because I am expecting people 0:03:52.680 --> 0:03:56.360 to read it. Hopefully, I'm expecting people to read it 0:03:56.400 --> 0:04:01.680 and go, huh that chapter eight, there's some things that 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:04.040 happened that he wrote about that I would like to 0:04:04.080 --> 0:04:07.800 know more about where he got that idea or why 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:11.000 he thought that or why he saw it this way? Okay, 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:14.640 does that make sense? So Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:16.760 We'll start that. I'm throwing that out there so that 0:04:16.800 --> 0:04:18.920 we could start moving towards that next week. Hopefully we'll 0:04:18.920 --> 0:04:22.240 get a couple of those a week or so. That's 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:26.120 that's the goal. And meanwhile, let's jump back into your 0:04:26.160 --> 0:04:28.920 old questions, the ones that you have submitted, and I'll 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:31.719 walk through these like we're sitting in the cap of 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:37.359 a truck. First one on the docket, right off the 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:42.680 bat subdecline says filthy language and TMI in front of grandchildren, 0:04:42.920 --> 0:04:46.760 Dear granger, my son and his wife think nothing of 0:04:46.839 --> 0:04:50.040 cursing in front of the children and also speak very 0:04:50.080 --> 0:04:54.279 candidly about politics to the point of distraction. I have 0:04:54.400 --> 0:04:57.359 tried speaking to them, and they believe that the children 0:04:57.400 --> 0:05:00.520 don't even pay attention to anything that they're saying, and 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:03.400 they wish to do nothing different. My husband and I 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:07.960 are very concerned. It disturbs us greatly. Any advice would 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:12.000 be welcome. Thank you, Sylvia, Thank you Sylvia, thanks for emailing. 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:15.360 And let's kind of dissect the question a little bit. 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:21.920 First of all, my personal belief cussing, cursing in front 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:28.160 of children is not good. Speaking very candidly about politics 0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:32.440 to the point of distraction, or anything else that is 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:43.480 adult conversation around kids not good. And then let's move 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:46.400 on to the back half of your question. Essentially, what 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:51.440 you're saying is they say that children don't even pay 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:54.039 attention to anything. They're saying, of course they do. Of 0:05:54.080 --> 0:05:58.760 course children of course pay attention. They are much more 0:05:58.800 --> 0:06:03.480 aware than we can possibly imagine. So that's true every 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:05.919 so far, all this stuff you said is true. Here's 0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:08.200 what I want to challenge you on, Sylvia. I want 0:06:08.200 --> 0:06:10.720 to challenge you on your approach to all of this, 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:16.760 because you can easily come across as judgmental grandma like 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:19.800 y'all shouldn't be cussed. You don't be cussing in front 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:23.800 of them kids, don't be saying talking about politics in 0:06:23.839 --> 0:06:27.320 front of them kids. They are listening to you. You wrong, 0:06:27.400 --> 0:06:29.800 and you know you're just gonna come across as jaded 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:32.880 and judgmental. That by no means is that the way 0:06:32.920 --> 0:06:37.080 that you sound. That's just I'm just saying there's a 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:42.360 danger and going too far and becoming judgmental. So what 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:44.400 I want to do is I want to challenge you 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:49.719 to answer all of this with love, and remember that 0:06:49.880 --> 0:06:52.320 it's love that's motivating you to do any of this. 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:55.800 It's love for your children, it's love for your grandchildren. 0:06:56.120 --> 0:07:01.679 It's not some kind of You're you're trying to figure 0:07:01.720 --> 0:07:06.560 out a way for them to be military students or 0:07:06.640 --> 0:07:08.839 you know something. You're not sending them off to board school, 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:12.760 boarding school. You're you're you're actually you love them so 0:07:12.960 --> 0:07:17.280 much that you care about how they're being influenced. Now, 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:22.400 So remember that, And why do you love them? Well, fundamentally, 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:24.880 you love them because you love your children, and they're 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:27.160 your children's children, and they're part of you, They're part 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:33.640 of your blood. So all of this, all of this 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:40.600 is a is a way to a way to go 0:07:40.640 --> 0:07:44.360 about it. The wrong way can easily turn them off. Right, 0:07:44.440 --> 0:07:47.560 it can easily turn them off. So I want you 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:50.960 to come in like this. I don't know you. I 0:07:50.960 --> 0:07:52.920 don't know if this is your your son or your daughter. 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:55.120 I don't know, But what's a pretend it's your son? 0:07:56.040 --> 0:08:00.000 Just son? I love you and I care about you, 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:08.080 and I worry sometimes that using language that's not appropriate 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:11.360 for children could be a bad influence on them. How 0:08:11.400 --> 0:08:13.760 could I help you? How can I help you and 0:08:13.800 --> 0:08:16.680 your wife? Maybe you're stressed and you need me to 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:18.640 take it off your plate a little bit. How could 0:08:18.680 --> 0:08:23.000 I help serve you son? Right? How do you do 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:28.960 that and always pouring in from a love perspective instead 0:08:28.960 --> 0:08:31.720 of judgmental. Always back off. The judgmental thing is not 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:34.400 gonna work. They're gonna be like, get out of here. 0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:37.199 Let me raise my kids the way I want to 0:08:37.280 --> 0:08:40.400 raise my kids. Right, So you're always leading with love. 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:43.000 And then in the meantime, you're talking to your grandkids 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:47.200 and you're like, if you hear those words come from them, 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:51.640 then you just gently remind them, no, sir, no, ma'am, 0:08:51.800 --> 0:08:54.960 we do not use that language in this house. We 0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:58.000 do not use that language in this house. So you're 0:08:58.040 --> 0:09:03.240 reinforcing with the kids and you're loving the parents. Okay, 0:09:07.080 --> 0:09:10.160 next question is subseglance is too late? Hey, Grangould like 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:12.240 to stay anonymous for this one. I'm seventeen. I've grown 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:14.480 up in a very strong Christian home. Last year I 0:09:14.480 --> 0:09:17.240 went to a so called Christian school, and since then 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:21.160 I have lost my fire and passion for God. I 0:09:21.200 --> 0:09:23.920 try to read my Bible and talk to God often. 0:09:24.400 --> 0:09:27.480 I always start doing it, and no matter how hard 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:30.880 I try to keep it going, it only lasts for 0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:34.080 maybe a week before I lose passion again. I've also 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:37.280 struggled with ongoing sin for the past number of years, 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:40.520 and maybe that is leading me away from God. My 0:09:40.679 --> 0:09:46.160 question is is it too late? Has my heart been hardened? 0:09:46.559 --> 0:09:49.400 I cry out to God often and nothing has ever 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:52.480 come of it. I know that if I do not 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:54.640 repent and turn to God, I will miss out on 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:57.640 living with Him in heaven for eternity. But I feel 0:09:57.880 --> 0:10:00.959 stuck in a daze where, for some reason and I 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:04.559 cannot actually seem to commit my life to him. PS. 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:06.800 I'm sorry this is long, and I really like your songs. 0:10:07.240 --> 0:10:10.079 My current is hate you like I love you. Okay. 0:10:10.160 --> 0:10:14.960 Question comes from Zephyan and he's seventeen and we need 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:18.480 you and I need to have a serious discussion. You're ready, Okay. 0:10:19.520 --> 0:10:24.319 I'm reading your email, and it is it's become apparent 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:28.640 that you have forgotten that you are saved by grace 0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:36.280 through faith. This is not your own doing. So I 0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:40.920 want you to be aware that all of what you're saying, 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:44.800 because it's all leading up, all of your question is 0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:50.080 leading up to where'd you say it? Right here? I 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:52.480 will miss out on living with Him in heaven for eternity. 0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:55.120 So you're talking about eternal life, You're talking about salvation. 0:10:55.960 --> 0:10:58.680 You don't want to miss out on salvation. That's what 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:02.559 you're saying. The only way you're going to miss out 0:11:02.559 --> 0:11:06.360 on salvation is if you're not saved by grace through faith. 0:11:07.000 --> 0:11:09.640 And that is not it, says Ephesians two nine says, 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:15.440 is not your doing. Rest in that, brother, rest that. 0:11:15.600 --> 0:11:19.360 It is not your works. It is not your how 0:11:19.440 --> 0:11:23.679 much you decide to be a better person. It is. 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:28.480 It is not how much you do good and less bad. 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:31.200 It is not how much you read your Bible. It 0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:33.360 is not how much you talk to God. It's not 0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:36.000 how much you pray. It none of that. You're saved 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:41.200 by grace. That is a gift for unmerited favor. Right, 0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:44.920 you do not deserve it, you did not earn it. 0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:50.440 But you're saved by grace. So yes, turn to him 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:53.760 in repentance. But faith is a gift. Repentance is a gift. 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:59.720 Turn to him, repent and believe that's the only thing 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:04.400 you're responsible for. Now, what happens when you do that 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:08.200 is you'll start to see the fruits of your repentance, 0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:11.720 the fruits of your faith, the fruits of your salvation. 0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:16.400 What are the fruits. One of the fruits is of many. 0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:21.760 One of the fruits is you'll hate your sin. Look 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:24.880 at you. That's what you're doing. Do you hate it? 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:28.400 You're doing everything you can do eradicate it. In fact, 0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:31.360 you're emailing me to talk about it. You're like, man Granger, 0:12:31.800 --> 0:12:34.560 I hate my sin. I just want my Lord Jesus. 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:37.000 I want to be with them in eternity. I want 0:12:37.040 --> 0:12:38.800 to turn to him. I want to love him. I 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:40.480 want to be with him. But I got the sin 0:12:40.679 --> 0:12:43.839 and I want it out of my life. That is repentance. 0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:46.880 You're doing it, brother, That is a fruit of your salvation. 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:49.160 So I want to tell you, if anything right now 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:52.880 on this podcast, I want to tell you have blessed assurance. 0:12:54.320 --> 0:13:00.280 You're saved. Brother. Rest in that. Rest in that, and 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:04.480 then out of gratefulness, because you will spend eternity with 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:08.240 your heavenly Father right out of gratefulness for that, out 0:13:08.240 --> 0:13:14.520 of the abundance of your heart. Then start killing that sin. 0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:21.360 Start kindling that fire that you're talking about, how no 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:23.839 matter what you do, you always lose it again. Start 0:13:23.920 --> 0:13:28.000 kindling that not out of works, not out of need 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:32.320 to be better for God. Do it out of on 0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:35.640 the other side of your heart, gratefulness that you're saved 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:37.680 and you're a wretched sinner and you didn't deserve any 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:40.160 of it. But because you didn't deserve it, because of 0:13:40.160 --> 0:13:44.199 your unmerited favor that you've been given by God, out 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:47.679 of his grace, you've been saved, and out of that 0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:50.760 side of your heart, the gratefulness overflows and you go cut. 0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:55.080 I'm so grateful that you saved a wretch like me, 0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:58.640 like the song amazing grace. And so because of that, 0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:01.600 I want to know you more. I want to study 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:04.160 you more. I want to read my Bible more. I 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:08.360 want to cultivate this flame that sometimes starts to flicker 0:14:08.400 --> 0:14:10.800 out and turns to embers, and I want to rekindle it, 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:14.720 not because I need to get to heaven, but because 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:19.160 I want to know my savior. I hope you see 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:23.200 the difference, Zephyan and I appreciate everything you said, and 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:28.120 I want you to see the difference. We're gonna take 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:35.400 a break your back. Thanks for listening to the podcast. 0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:39.960 Now we are at one complete week. Since Like a 0:14:40.040 --> 0:14:42.480 River has come out. What do you think of Like 0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:44.440 a River? Did you buy the book? Were you able 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:46.840 to check out the book? Did you check out the 0:14:46.880 --> 0:14:50.040 audio book? Because that's something that's very special to me. 0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:52.960 Recording the audiobook reading the book. That was the first 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:55.760 time I read the final manuscript after I made all 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:59.320 the edits and changes individually in different pieces. Then I 0:14:59.360 --> 0:15:03.000 came back and once it was complete, read it for 0:15:03.040 --> 0:15:06.160 the audiobook, and it was in so many ways I 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:08.800 think I cried or at least got choked up in 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:12.240 some way, not just sad, but a lot of times happy, happy, 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:17.440 choke up sometimes in each chapter. So that's special to me. 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:20.280 If you read the book Like a River and you're 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:23.800 looking for more, I would suggest the audiobook. Listen to that, 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:27.120 maybe on a road trip or maybe on a work commute. 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:29.560 You can go back and forth, and it's only going 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:31.080 to take you a few trips to work before you 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:35.320 finish the book itself. But I'm just I'm so appreciative, 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:37.320 so grateful that a lot of y'all have reached out 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:39.840 to me since the release of Like a River. And 0:15:39.920 --> 0:15:42.080 this is my story. This is the story of my 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:44.760 wife and I and our journey, and our kids journey, 0:15:44.800 --> 0:15:48.160 and my extended family's journey. After we lost our little 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:51.040 boys three years old. His name was River, and we 0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:55.120 lost him in twenty nineteen, I hit rock bottom after that, 0:15:55.320 --> 0:15:59.480 and the story is the rise from rock bottom and 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:02.200 the way that it happened and all the ways that 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:05.400 I tried to make it happen that didn't work. And 0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:09.080 this book is, I hope, I hope, an encouragement to 0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:11.640 so many people that are suffering with some kind of 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:15.800 grief or loss or pain or depression. If it's if 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:19.560 it's something that you believe in, then share it with 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:22.280 a friend and let's get this book into as many 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:30.200 hands as possible. Back to the podcast, back from the 0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:32.960 from the break here and reminding everybody that Like a River, 0:16:33.080 --> 0:16:37.840 my book is out, So please part of your questions, 0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:41.320 which you email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Part 0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:43.080 of your questions, I would love to start seeing some 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:46.680 specific questions about the book Like a River it is. 0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:50.280 It is my grief journey after we lost our little 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:53.000 boy River. He was three years old in twenty nineteen. 0:16:53.280 --> 0:16:56.520 My wife and I lost him and I hit rock 0:16:56.920 --> 0:16:59.840 bottom as deep as you can go. I went to 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:03.280 specific details of this in the book as I tried 0:17:03.440 --> 0:17:06.520 everything I could to come out of this, to try 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:09.000 to be better person, to try to be the rock 0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:12.119 for my family, to try to not have PTSD, to 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:16.359 try to be okay again. I tried everything and it 0:17:16.359 --> 0:17:19.320 didn't work. I ended up back down at rock bottom. 0:17:19.320 --> 0:17:22.160 And by chapter seven of that book, it doesn't get 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:24.200 any darker. In fact, that chapter is called the Dark 0:17:24.280 --> 0:17:28.399 Knight of the Soul. But you have to keep reading. 0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:30.840 You have to go to chapter eight. Don't call me, 0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:34.600 don't message me, don't email me at chapter seven until 0:17:34.640 --> 0:17:38.280 you get the chapter eight, and then message me, ask 0:17:38.359 --> 0:17:41.800 me questions. Let's unpack this. Let's talk about how this 0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:46.920 could happen to you as well. Okay, Grangersmith Podcast at 0:17:46.960 --> 0:17:49.720 gmail dot com. Email me, and let's jump back into 0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:54.000 these questions here. Sub decline on this one says problems. 0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:57.040 Hey Grange, I'd like to stay anonymous. A few months ago, 0:17:57.359 --> 0:18:00.320 I was at a very low point in my life. 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:02.679 I prayed to God to send me a friend or 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:05.520 a partner. The other part of my prayer was for 0:18:05.640 --> 0:18:08.800 him to send only a partner if she is who 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:12.160 God intends to be my wife. The very next day, 0:18:12.320 --> 0:18:14.640 I met this girl and we started hanging out every 0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:19.280 day and everything was amazing until she started to become distant. 0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:21.879 I tried to discuss this with her and she got 0:18:21.960 --> 0:18:24.679 mad and she said she didn't want to force a label, 0:18:25.560 --> 0:18:28.760 which I wasn't, but we agreed to take things slow. 0:18:29.520 --> 0:18:33.120 But she eventually didn't even want that. I was torn 0:18:33.160 --> 0:18:36.439 apart and I couldn't continue, so I ended things and 0:18:36.480 --> 0:18:40.320 she agreed. She said that she couldn't be what I wanted, 0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:43.919 when all I wanted was to make take things slow 0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:47.840 with her. I continue to think about her every single day. 0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:50.680 It's becoming very difficult because I removed her on all 0:18:50.760 --> 0:18:54.359 social media and it's been on multiple it's been multiple months, 0:18:55.080 --> 0:18:56.800 but I still think about her twenty four to seven. 0:18:57.040 --> 0:18:59.840 I've never felt this way for someone, and no one 0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:03.119 compares to her. I feel like I lost the one. 0:19:03.600 --> 0:19:08.040 Thanks Anonymous. All right, brother, thanks for emailing. I love 0:19:09.280 --> 0:19:14.320 the format of this podcast because I can be an 0:19:14.400 --> 0:19:17.480 outside source for you. I could be someone that sees 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:21.639 the outside perspective. I'm not in the trenches with you. 0:19:21.640 --> 0:19:24.400 You're deep in the trenches, and your family and your 0:19:24.400 --> 0:19:27.240 friends are somewhat in there as well. But I'm not 0:19:27.320 --> 0:19:30.359 at all. Brother. I don't even know you. I don't 0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:33.040 know your situation. I don't know who your mama is, 0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:35.760 I don't know your hometown. I don't even know how 0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:38.439 old you are, so I am totally outside the bubble. 0:19:38.920 --> 0:19:41.920 All I know is you have emailed me asking for advice. 0:19:42.040 --> 0:19:45.399 So that's great. That's great because I could tell you 0:19:45.440 --> 0:19:47.800 from the outside perspective. I could shoot you straight with 0:19:47.880 --> 0:19:51.600 tough love, and that way you'll know you're getting an 0:19:51.760 --> 0:19:56.080 unbiased answer. I have no reason to make you feel 0:19:56.119 --> 0:19:58.760 warm and fuzzy, to make you feel happy. I have 0:19:58.840 --> 0:20:02.480 no reason to for you to be distant from this 0:20:02.520 --> 0:20:04.760 girl and hate this girl, or to love her and 0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:07.880 marry her. I have no reason, know nothing for any 0:20:07.880 --> 0:20:10.760 of this except for my opinion. You're ready. Here we 0:20:10.800 --> 0:20:18.359 go the whole first part. You're praying this whole making 0:20:18.400 --> 0:20:21.200 a deal with God thing is is wrong and it's bad. 0:20:22.400 --> 0:20:26.080 You're you don't make deals with God, like you said, 0:20:26.800 --> 0:20:29.640 My prayer was for God to send me a partner, 0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:32.280 only if she was the one who God intends to 0:20:32.320 --> 0:20:36.680 be in my life. Don't make deals with God. You're 0:20:36.720 --> 0:20:40.320 not in Vegas. You're not talking to a car dealer. 0:20:41.920 --> 0:20:44.760 You know you're not. You're not playing what's that show 0:20:44.800 --> 0:20:48.359 on TV? Make a deal or whatever, Let's make a deal. 0:20:49.280 --> 0:20:52.120 You're not. You're not talking to God that way. You're 0:20:52.160 --> 0:20:58.080 saying God, you know my heart, I desire a wife. 0:20:58.160 --> 0:21:01.960 In fact, your word says it's a good thing for 0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:05.280 a man to have a wife. Your word says that 0:21:06.200 --> 0:21:11.280 a man shouldn't be alone. That's your promise. So you 0:21:11.359 --> 0:21:13.959 know I desire that for myself. You built me, You 0:21:14.040 --> 0:21:18.520 created me. You know I desire a girl. But Lord, 0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:20.600 I will trust you that if she hasn't come into 0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:23.320 my life yet, if you haven't sent one to me yet, 0:21:23.760 --> 0:21:27.359 then it's not in your timing. So I trust your plan, 0:21:28.160 --> 0:21:31.280 not mine. I will responsibly look. But I pray God 0:21:31.280 --> 0:21:34.720 that you give me discernment on who I should be 0:21:34.760 --> 0:21:38.560 settling down with. And ultimately I trust you God, I 0:21:38.600 --> 0:21:41.160 hear none of that in this. I make a deal plan, 0:21:41.640 --> 0:21:43.560 you send me the next one. I open my eyes, 0:21:43.600 --> 0:21:45.159 and you know, it's like Genie pops out of the 0:21:45.160 --> 0:21:49.520 bottle stuff. Be very careful with that, because what happened 0:21:49.600 --> 0:21:52.000 is you said that make a deal, Genie pops out 0:21:52.040 --> 0:21:53.679 of a bottle plan, and then the next girl that 0:21:53.720 --> 0:21:56.880 comes around that you have a crush on, you think 0:21:56.920 --> 0:21:59.800 she's the one, and then that girl gets really freaked 0:21:59.800 --> 0:22:02.680 out because you're pressing in so close. She doesn't know 0:22:02.720 --> 0:22:06.439 what to think. She feels smothered, she feels responsible that 0:22:06.480 --> 0:22:09.320 she's like an answer to your prayer. And she's like, 0:22:09.359 --> 0:22:10.960 I don't know. I've never asked to be part of 0:22:11.000 --> 0:22:13.399 your prayer. I never asked to be part of this 0:22:13.640 --> 0:22:16.240 answered prayer thing. And how did I pop out of 0:22:16.240 --> 0:22:18.680 the bottle, the genie in the bottle? How is that me? 0:22:19.480 --> 0:22:22.280 I didn't sign up for this? And you're like, listen 0:22:22.280 --> 0:22:25.800 to me. I prayed for you and God brought me you, 0:22:26.200 --> 0:22:29.720 and you are the one, by the way, soul mate 0:22:30.080 --> 0:22:33.679 or the one that stuff is pagan it is it 0:22:33.760 --> 0:22:36.840 is not what we believe, this whole idea that there 0:22:36.920 --> 0:22:40.960 is one soul for you, there's one soul mate for you. 0:22:41.000 --> 0:22:44.040 There is only one. There is only one. I know 0:22:44.080 --> 0:22:48.639 it sounds romantic, but it's just not true. It's weird. Okay, 0:22:48.680 --> 0:22:53.159 There's there's like four billion girls on this planet, so 0:22:53.920 --> 0:22:57.960 you're gonna find a one, okay, And it's okay. You'll 0:22:58.000 --> 0:23:01.480 find one that's compatible, and God will bless that relationship 0:23:01.520 --> 0:23:06.719 and you'll and you'll responsibly carry forth. You're into the deal. Okay, 0:23:07.160 --> 0:23:09.040 look at it that way. It's not romantic at all 0:23:09.080 --> 0:23:12.480 what I just said. But let let's be practical about this. 0:23:15.280 --> 0:23:19.000 So this is what happened. You brought all this pressure 0:23:19.040 --> 0:23:21.560 on her to be the one and the answer to 0:23:21.600 --> 0:23:24.920 the prayer, and then of course she starts to feel distant, 0:23:25.080 --> 0:23:29.280 and as she becomes distant, you're you're tugging closer. You're like, hey, 0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:32.639 I don't want to lose you. You're the one. Oh man, Okay, 0:23:32.640 --> 0:23:34.720 maybe we should take things slow at this point, you're 0:23:34.760 --> 0:23:38.679 just compromising. Okay, fine, we'll take things slow. Okay, I'm 0:23:38.720 --> 0:23:40.720 going to wait a couple of days before I text you. 0:23:41.160 --> 0:23:44.199 And you're you're making it worse, Anonymous, You're making it 0:23:44.240 --> 0:23:51.240 worse here. You're compromising because you're so crazy about her, 0:23:51.640 --> 0:23:53.960 and part of it is because you think God brought 0:23:53.960 --> 0:23:59.440 her to you. It's borderline psycho once again, outside perspective. 0:23:59.560 --> 0:24:03.359 I love you. That's why I'm reading your email. If 0:24:03.400 --> 0:24:05.440 I didn't love you at all, I wouldn't read it. 0:24:06.280 --> 0:24:09.280 I hope you know that. But it does nothing if 0:24:09.320 --> 0:24:13.480 I just coddle you and just say yeah, I'm so sorry. Man, 0:24:13.640 --> 0:24:16.879 this girl she's the one. Go get her. She was 0:24:16.920 --> 0:24:18.640 the answer to your prayer. I'm not going to say 0:24:18.640 --> 0:24:22.199 any of that stuff. So let's move forward. In the email, 0:24:24.160 --> 0:24:29.560 she said she couldn't be what I wanted, true, because 0:24:29.600 --> 0:24:31.360 you wanted her to be the one. That's what your 0:24:31.440 --> 0:24:35.200 last sentence says. I feel like I lost the one, 0:24:35.960 --> 0:24:40.760 right you see that. But here's what you said. You 0:24:40.840 --> 0:24:43.919 said all I wanted was to take things slow. Now 0:24:43.960 --> 0:24:46.680