Speaker 1: What's up, everybody? Welcome to the podcast. Good episode today,
Speaker 1: number two hundred, number two one hundred. I don't have
Speaker 1: any like confetti or anything special, any champagne to pop here,
Speaker 1: but it is episode two hundred and so that gives
Speaker 1: me just a huge sense of gratefulness that enough people
Speaker 1: listen to this podcast and are engaged in this podcast
Speaker 1: to keep me motivated, to keep me encouraged so that
Speaker 1: I want to keep making them, because really, that's what
Speaker 1: it comes down to. I would have stopped a long
Speaker 1: time ago if the viewership wasn't very good or no
Speaker 1: one really cared, or no one came up to me
Speaker 1: and meet and greets and said how excited they were
Speaker 1: about the podcast. So when I do hear that stuff,
Speaker 1: I love it, and it gives me motivation to keep
Speaker 1: going because I have a lot of stuff going on,
Speaker 1: you know, between after midnight radio show to the Smiths
Speaker 1: YouTube vlog twice a week, to touring music which is
Speaker 1: insane right now, to lack a River book which is
Speaker 1: now out. What do you think about that? And that's crazy.
Speaker 1: I have a book out, and so I'm an author
Speaker 1: now technically officially, and so I'm supporting that book going
Speaker 1: out and preaching and doing stuff with that. I also
Speaker 1: have Ye Apparel, which which I have to stay on
Speaker 1: top of and all that of our seasonal launches and
Speaker 1: keeping up with with everything that goes into running an
Speaker 1: apparel company. And then I'm my husband and I'm a father,
Speaker 1: and I have you know, duties here at the house.
Speaker 1: So there's just a lot of stuff going on, and
Speaker 1: the podcast is something that I need to make time
Speaker 1: for and I do that because I'm so encouraged by
Speaker 1: all the people that listen. I'll put it that way.
Speaker 1: So I also have a morning show and iHeart now too,
Speaker 1: but we'll talk about that later. Happy two hundred episode.
Speaker 1: Thanks thanks for being here, and if you have a
Speaker 1: question for me, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That's the format of what we do here. And I
Speaker 1: want to talk about Like a River as well, So
Speaker 1: if you have a question about lack a River, go
Speaker 1: ahead and send those in. Now that what I'm expecting
Speaker 1: is people kind of getting into the book now and
Speaker 1: digging a little bit deeper. Last week I talked about
Speaker 1: I answered your questions about it, but I would love
Speaker 1: to be able to get deeper into the book itself.
Speaker 1: Maybe someone has a specific question and in the future,
Speaker 1: not today, we're not live, but a specific question in
Speaker 1: the future about a certain thing that I wrote, or
Speaker 1: something that happened to me, or maybe a specific chapter like, Hey,
Speaker 1: you mentioned in this specific chapter that this crazy thing
Speaker 1: happened to you or you thought this or said this.
Speaker 1: Why did you say that? Why did that happen to you?
Speaker 1: What biblical evidence do you have to what you said?
Speaker 1: Give me questions like that so that we could help
Speaker 1: walk through it, so that if anyone is in a
Speaker 1: situation anywhere close to similar to mine, that will be
Speaker 1: very helpful. So use. What I'm saying is use this
Speaker 1: podcast is a way to bounce off ideas back to
Speaker 1: me about like a river, because I am expecting people
Speaker 1: to read it. Hopefully, I'm expecting people to read it
Speaker 1: and go, huh that chapter eight, there's some things that
Speaker 1: happened that he wrote about that I would like to
Speaker 1: know more about where he got that idea or why
Speaker 1: he thought that or why he saw it this way? Okay,
Speaker 1: does that make sense? So Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: We'll start that. I'm throwing that out there so that
Speaker 1: we could start moving towards that next week. Hopefully we'll
Speaker 1: get a couple of those a week or so. That's
Speaker 1: that's the goal. And meanwhile, let's jump back into your
Speaker 1: old questions, the ones that you have submitted, and I'll
Speaker 1: walk through these like we're sitting in the cap of
Speaker 1: a truck. First one on the docket, right off the
Speaker 1: bat subdecline says filthy language and TMI in front of grandchildren,
Speaker 1: Dear granger, my son and his wife think nothing of
Speaker 1: cursing in front of the children and also speak very
Speaker 1: candidly about politics to the point of distraction. I have
Speaker 1: tried speaking to them, and they believe that the children
Speaker 1: don't even pay attention to anything that they're saying, and
Speaker 1: they wish to do nothing different. My husband and I
Speaker 1: are very concerned. It disturbs us greatly. Any advice would
Speaker 1: be welcome. Thank you, Sylvia, Thank you Sylvia, thanks for emailing.
Speaker 1: And let's kind of dissect the question a little bit.
Speaker 1: First of all, my personal belief cussing, cursing in front
Speaker 1: of children is not good. Speaking very candidly about politics
Speaker 1: to the point of distraction, or anything else that is
Speaker 1: adult conversation around kids not good. And then let's move
Speaker 1: on to the back half of your question. Essentially, what
Speaker 1: you're saying is they say that children don't even pay
Speaker 1: attention to anything. They're saying, of course they do. Of
Speaker 1: course children of course pay attention. They are much more
Speaker 1: aware than we can possibly imagine. So that's true every
Speaker 1: so far, all this stuff you said is true. Here's
Speaker 1: what I want to challenge you on, Sylvia. I want
Speaker 1: to challenge you on your approach to all of this,
Speaker 1: because you can easily come across as judgmental grandma like
Speaker 1: y'all shouldn't be cussed. You don't be cussing in front
Speaker 1: of them kids, don't be saying talking about politics in
Speaker 1: front of them kids. They are listening to you. You wrong,
Speaker 1: and you know you're just gonna come across as jaded
Speaker 1: and judgmental. That by no means is that the way
Speaker 1: that you sound. That's just I'm just saying there's a
Speaker 1: danger and going too far and becoming judgmental. So what
Speaker 1: I want to do is I want to challenge you
Speaker 1: to answer all of this with love, and remember that
Speaker 1: it's love that's motivating you to do any of this.
Speaker 1: It's love for your children, it's love for your grandchildren.
Speaker 1: It's not some kind of You're you're trying to figure
Speaker 1: out a way for them to be military students or
Speaker 1: you know something. You're not sending them off to board school,
Speaker 1: boarding school. You're you're you're actually you love them so
Speaker 1: much that you care about how they're being influenced. Now,
Speaker 1: So remember that, And why do you love them? Well, fundamentally,
Speaker 1: you love them because you love your children, and they're
Speaker 1: your children's children, and they're part of you, They're part
Speaker 1: of your blood. So all of this, all of this
Speaker 1: is a is a way to a way to go
Speaker 1: about it. The wrong way can easily turn them off. Right,
Speaker 1: it can easily turn them off. So I want you
Speaker 1: to come in like this. I don't know you. I
Speaker 1: don't know if this is your your son or your daughter.
Speaker 1: I don't know, But what's a pretend it's your son?
Speaker 1: Just son? I love you and I care about you,
Speaker 1: and I worry sometimes that using language that's not appropriate
Speaker 1: for children could be a bad influence on them. How
Speaker 1: could I help you? How can I help you and
Speaker 1: your wife? Maybe you're stressed and you need me to
Speaker 1: take it off your plate a little bit. How could
Speaker 1: I help serve you son? Right? How do you do
Speaker 1: that and always pouring in from a love perspective instead
Speaker 1: of judgmental. Always back off. The judgmental thing is not
Speaker 1: gonna work. They're gonna be like, get out of here.
Speaker 1: Let me raise my kids the way I want to
Speaker 1: raise my kids. Right, So you're always leading with love.
Speaker 1: And then in the meantime, you're talking to your grandkids
Speaker 1: and you're like, if you hear those words come from them,
Speaker 1: then you just gently remind them, no, sir, no, ma'am,
Speaker 1: we do not use that language in this house. We
Speaker 1: do not use that language in this house. So you're
Speaker 1: reinforcing with the kids and you're loving the parents. Okay,
Speaker 1: next question is subseglance is too late? Hey, Grangould like
Speaker 1: to stay anonymous for this one. I'm seventeen. I've grown
Speaker 1: up in a very strong Christian home. Last year I
Speaker 1: went to a so called Christian school, and since then
Speaker 1: I have lost my fire and passion for God. I
Speaker 1: try to read my Bible and talk to God often.
Speaker 1: I always start doing it, and no matter how hard
Speaker 1: I try to keep it going, it only lasts for
Speaker 1: maybe a week before I lose passion again. I've also
Speaker 1: struggled with ongoing sin for the past number of years,
Speaker 1: and maybe that is leading me away from God. My
Speaker 1: question is is it too late? Has my heart been hardened?
Speaker 1: I cry out to God often and nothing has ever
Speaker 1: come of it. I know that if I do not
Speaker 1: repent and turn to God, I will miss out on
Speaker 1: living with Him in heaven for eternity. But I feel
Speaker 1: stuck in a daze where, for some reason and I
Speaker 1: cannot actually seem to commit my life to him. PS.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry this is long, and I really like your songs.
Speaker 1: My current is hate you like I love you. Okay.
Speaker 1: Question comes from Zephyan and he's seventeen and we need
Speaker 1: you and I need to have a serious discussion. You're ready, Okay.
Speaker 1: I'm reading your email, and it is it's become apparent
Speaker 1: that you have forgotten that you are saved by grace
Speaker 1: through faith. This is not your own doing. So I
Speaker 1: want you to be aware that all of what you're saying,
Speaker 1: because it's all leading up, all of your question is
Speaker 1: leading up to where'd you say it? Right here? I
Speaker 1: will miss out on living with Him in heaven for eternity.
Speaker 1: So you're talking about eternal life, You're talking about salvation.
Speaker 1: You don't want to miss out on salvation. That's what
Speaker 1: you're saying. The only way you're going to miss out
Speaker 1: on salvation is if you're not saved by grace through faith.
Speaker 1: And that is not it, says Ephesians two nine says,
Speaker 1: is not your doing. Rest in that, brother, rest that.
Speaker 1: It is not your works. It is not your how
Speaker 1: much you decide to be a better person. It is.
Speaker 1: It is not how much you do good and less bad.
Speaker 1: It is not how much you read your Bible. It
Speaker 1: is not how much you talk to God. It's not
Speaker 1: how much you pray. It none of that. You're saved
Speaker 1: by grace. That is a gift for unmerited favor. Right,
Speaker 1: you do not deserve it, you did not earn it.
Speaker 1: But you're saved by grace. So yes, turn to him
Speaker 1: in repentance. But faith is a gift. Repentance is a gift.
Speaker 1: Turn to him, repent and believe that's the only thing
Speaker 1: you're responsible for. Now, what happens when you do that
Speaker 1: is you'll start to see the fruits of your repentance,
Speaker 1: the fruits of your faith, the fruits of your salvation.
Speaker 1: What are the fruits. One of the fruits is of many.
Speaker 1: One of the fruits is you'll hate your sin. Look
Speaker 1: at you. That's what you're doing. Do you hate it?
Speaker 1: You're doing everything you can do eradicate it. In fact,
Speaker 1: you're emailing me to talk about it. You're like, man Granger,
Speaker 1: I hate my sin. I just want my Lord Jesus.
Speaker 1: I want to be with them in eternity. I want
Speaker 1: to turn to him. I want to love him. I
Speaker 1: want to be with him. But I got the sin
Speaker 1: and I want it out of my life. That is repentance.
Speaker 1: You're doing it, brother, That is a fruit of your salvation.
Speaker 1: So I want to tell you, if anything right now
Speaker 1: on this podcast, I want to tell you have blessed assurance.
Speaker 1: You're saved. Brother. Rest in that. Rest in that, and
Speaker 1: then out of gratefulness, because you will spend eternity with
Speaker 1: your heavenly Father right out of gratefulness for that, out
Speaker 1: of the abundance of your heart. Then start killing that sin.
Speaker 1: Start kindling that fire that you're talking about, how no
Speaker 1: matter what you do, you always lose it again. Start
Speaker 1: kindling that not out of works, not out of need
Speaker 1: to be better for God. Do it out of on
Speaker 1: the other side of your heart, gratefulness that you're saved
Speaker 1: and you're a wretched sinner and you didn't deserve any
Speaker 1: of it. But because you didn't deserve it, because of
Speaker 1: your unmerited favor that you've been given by God, out
Speaker 1: of his grace, you've been saved, and out of that
Speaker 1: side of your heart, the gratefulness overflows and you go cut.
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that you saved a wretch like me,
Speaker 1: like the song amazing grace. And so because of that,
Speaker 1: I want to know you more. I want to study
Speaker 1: you more. I want to read my Bible more. I
Speaker 1: want to cultivate this flame that sometimes starts to flicker
Speaker 1: out and turns to embers, and I want to rekindle it,
Speaker 1: not because I need to get to heaven, but because
Speaker 1: I want to know my savior. I hope you see
Speaker 1: the difference, Zephyan and I appreciate everything you said, and
Speaker 1: I want you to see the difference. We're gonna take
Speaker 1: a break your back. Thanks for listening to the podcast.
Speaker 1: Now we are at one complete week. Since Like a
Speaker 1: River has come out. What do you think of Like
Speaker 1: a River? Did you buy the book? Were you able
Speaker 1: to check out the book? Did you check out the
Speaker 1: audio book? Because that's something that's very special to me.
Speaker 1: Recording the audiobook reading the book. That was the first
Speaker 1: time I read the final manuscript after I made all
Speaker 1: the edits and changes individually in different pieces. Then I
Speaker 1: came back and once it was complete, read it for
Speaker 1: the audiobook, and it was in so many ways I
Speaker 1: think I cried or at least got choked up in
Speaker 1: some way, not just sad, but a lot of times happy, happy,
Speaker 1: choke up sometimes in each chapter. So that's special to me.
Speaker 1: If you read the book Like a River and you're
Speaker 1: looking for more, I would suggest the audiobook. Listen to that,
Speaker 1: maybe on a road trip or maybe on a work commute.
Speaker 1: You can go back and forth, and it's only going
Speaker 1: to take you a few trips to work before you
Speaker 1: finish the book itself. But I'm just I'm so appreciative,
Speaker 1: so grateful that a lot of y'all have reached out
Speaker 1: to me since the release of Like a River. And
Speaker 1: this is my story. This is the story of my
Speaker 1: wife and I and our journey, and our kids journey,
Speaker 1: and my extended family's journey. After we lost our little
Speaker 1: boys three years old. His name was River, and we
Speaker 1: lost him in twenty nineteen, I hit rock bottom after that,
Speaker 1: and the story is the rise from rock bottom and
Speaker 1: the way that it happened and all the ways that
Speaker 1: I tried to make it happen that didn't work. And
Speaker 1: this book is, I hope, I hope, an encouragement to
Speaker 1: so many people that are suffering with some kind of
Speaker 1: grief or loss or pain or depression. If it's if
Speaker 1: it's something that you believe in, then share it with
Speaker 1: a friend and let's get this book into as many
Speaker 1: hands as possible. Back to the podcast, back from the
Speaker 1: from the break here and reminding everybody that Like a River,
Speaker 1: my book is out, So please part of your questions,
Speaker 1: which you email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Part
Speaker 1: of your questions, I would love to start seeing some
Speaker 1: specific questions about the book Like a River it is.
Speaker 1: It is my grief journey after we lost our little
Speaker 1: boy River. He was three years old in twenty nineteen.
Speaker 1: My wife and I lost him and I hit rock
Speaker 1: bottom as deep as you can go. I went to
Speaker 1: specific details of this in the book as I tried
Speaker 1: everything I could to come out of this, to try
Speaker 1: to be better person, to try to be the rock
Speaker 1: for my family, to try to not have PTSD, to
Speaker 1: try to be okay again. I tried everything and it
Speaker 1: didn't work. I ended up back down at rock bottom.
Speaker 1: And by chapter seven of that book, it doesn't get
Speaker 1: any darker. In fact, that chapter is called the Dark
Speaker 1: Knight of the Soul. But you have to keep reading.
Speaker 1: You have to go to chapter eight. Don't call me,
Speaker 1: don't message me, don't email me at chapter seven until
Speaker 1: you get the chapter eight, and then message me, ask
Speaker 1: me questions. Let's unpack this. Let's talk about how this
Speaker 1: could happen to you as well. Okay, Grangersmith Podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Email me, and let's jump back into
Speaker 1: these questions here. Sub decline on this one says problems.
Speaker 1: Hey Grange, I'd like to stay anonymous. A few months ago,
Speaker 1: I was at a very low point in my life.
Speaker 1: I prayed to God to send me a friend or
Speaker 1: a partner. The other part of my prayer was for
Speaker 1: him to send only a partner if she is who
Speaker 1: God intends to be my wife. The very next day,
Speaker 1: I met this girl and we started hanging out every
Speaker 1: day and everything was amazing until she started to become distant.
Speaker 1: I tried to discuss this with her and she got
Speaker 1: mad and she said she didn't want to force a label,
Speaker 1: which I wasn't, but we agreed to take things slow.
Speaker 1: But she eventually didn't even want that. I was torn
Speaker 1: apart and I couldn't continue, so I ended things and
Speaker 1: she agreed. She said that she couldn't be what I wanted,
Speaker 1: when all I wanted was to make take things slow
Speaker 1: with her. I continue to think about her every single day.
Speaker 1: It's becoming very difficult because I removed her on all
Speaker 1: social media and it's been on multiple it's been multiple months,
Speaker 1: but I still think about her twenty four to seven.
Speaker 1: I've never felt this way for someone, and no one
Speaker 1: compares to her. I feel like I lost the one.
Speaker 1: Thanks Anonymous. All right, brother, thanks for emailing. I love
Speaker 1: the format of this podcast because I can be an
Speaker 1: outside source for you. I could be someone that sees
Speaker 1: the outside perspective. I'm not in the trenches with you.
Speaker 1: You're deep in the trenches, and your family and your
Speaker 1: friends are somewhat in there as well. But I'm not
Speaker 1: at all. Brother. I don't even know you. I don't
Speaker 1: know your situation. I don't know who your mama is,
Speaker 1: I don't know your hometown. I don't even know how
Speaker 1: old you are, so I am totally outside the bubble.
Speaker 1: All I know is you have emailed me asking for advice.
Speaker 1: So that's great. That's great because I could tell you
Speaker 1: from the outside perspective. I could shoot you straight with
Speaker 1: tough love, and that way you'll know you're getting an
Speaker 1: unbiased answer. I have no reason to make you feel
Speaker 1: warm and fuzzy, to make you feel happy. I have
Speaker 1: no reason to for you to be distant from this
Speaker 1: girl and hate this girl, or to love her and
Speaker 1: marry her. I have no reason, know nothing for any
Speaker 1: of this except for my opinion. You're ready. Here we
Speaker 1: go the whole first part. You're praying this whole making
Speaker 1: a deal with God thing is is wrong and it's bad.
Speaker 1: You're you don't make deals with God, like you said,
Speaker 1: My prayer was for God to send me a partner,
Speaker 1: only if she was the one who God intends to
Speaker 1: be in my life. Don't make deals with God. You're
Speaker 1: not in Vegas. You're not talking to a car dealer.
Speaker 1: You know you're not. You're not playing what's that show
Speaker 1: on TV? Make a deal or whatever, Let's make a deal.
Speaker 1: You're not. You're not talking to God that way. You're
Speaker 1: saying God, you know my heart, I desire a wife.
Speaker 1: In fact, your word says it's a good thing for
Speaker 1: a man to have a wife. Your word says that
Speaker 1: a man shouldn't be alone. That's your promise. So you
Speaker 1: know I desire that for myself. You built me, You
Speaker 1: created me. You know I desire a girl. But Lord,
Speaker 1: I will trust you that if she hasn't come into
Speaker 1: my life yet, if you haven't sent one to me yet,
Speaker 1: then it's not in your timing. So I trust your plan,
Speaker 1: not mine. I will responsibly look. But I pray God
Speaker 1: that you give me discernment on who I should be
Speaker 1: settling down with. And ultimately I trust you God, I
Speaker 1: hear none of that in this. I make a deal plan,
Speaker 1: you send me the next one. I open my eyes,
Speaker 1: and you know, it's like Genie pops out of the
Speaker 1: bottle stuff. Be very careful with that, because what happened
Speaker 1: is you said that make a deal, Genie pops out
Speaker 1: of a bottle plan, and then the next girl that
Speaker 1: comes around that you have a crush on, you think
Speaker 1: she's the one, and then that girl gets really freaked
Speaker 1: out because you're pressing in so close. She doesn't know
Speaker 1: what to think. She feels smothered, she feels responsible that
Speaker 1: she's like an answer to your prayer. And she's like,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've never asked to be part of
Speaker 1: your prayer. I never asked to be part of this
Speaker 1: answered prayer thing. And how did I pop out of
Speaker 1: the bottle, the genie in the bottle? How is that me?
Speaker 1: I didn't sign up for this? And you're like, listen
Speaker 1: to me. I prayed for you and God brought me you,
Speaker 1: and you are the one, by the way, soul mate
Speaker 1: or the one that stuff is pagan it is it
Speaker 1: is not what we believe, this whole idea that there
Speaker 1: is one soul for you, there's one soul mate for you.
Speaker 1: There is only one. There is only one. I know
Speaker 1: it sounds romantic, but it's just not true. It's weird. Okay,
Speaker 1: There's there's like four billion girls on this planet, so
Speaker 1: you're gonna find a one, okay, And it's okay. You'll
Speaker 1: find one that's compatible, and God will bless that relationship
Speaker 1: and you'll and you'll responsibly carry forth. You're into the deal. Okay,
Speaker 1: look at it that way. It's not romantic at all
Speaker 1: what I just said. But let let's be practical about this.
Speaker 1: So this is what happened. You brought all this pressure
Speaker 1: on her to be the one and the answer to
Speaker 1: the prayer, and then of course she starts to feel distant,
Speaker 1: and as she becomes distant, you're you're tugging closer. You're like, hey,
Speaker 1: I don't want to lose you. You're the one. Oh man, Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe we should take things slow at this point, you're
Speaker 1: just compromising. Okay, fine, we'll take things slow. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: going to wait a couple of days before I text you.
Speaker 1: And you're you're making it worse, Anonymous, You're making it
Speaker 1: worse here. You're compromising because you're so crazy about her,
Speaker 1: and part of it is because you think God brought
Speaker 1: her to you. It's borderline psycho once again, outside perspective.
Speaker 1: I love you. That's why I'm reading your email. If
Speaker 1: I didn't love you at all, I wouldn't read it.
Speaker 1: I hope you know that. But it does nothing if
Speaker 1: I just coddle you and just say yeah, I'm so sorry. Man,
Speaker 1: this girl she's the one. Go get her. She was
Speaker 1: the answer to your prayer. I'm not going to say
Speaker 1: any of that stuff. So let's move forward. In the email,
Speaker 1: she said she couldn't be what I wanted, true, because
Speaker 1: you wanted her to be the one. That's what your
Speaker 1: last sentence says. I feel like I lost the one,
Speaker 1: right you see that. But here's what you said. You
Speaker 1: said all I wanted was to take things slow. Now
Speaker 1: it's not that's not all you wanted. That's not all
Speaker 1: you wanted. Let's be honest. Moving on, it says it's
Speaker 1: becoming very difficult because I removed her on all social
Speaker 1: media and it's been many months. Excellent, good job. I
Speaker 1: think that's a great move. If you've listened to me before,
Speaker 1: you know that, I always advise cutting it off. Cut
Speaker 1: off to social media. You don't want to wake up
Speaker 1: in the morning and see her on Facebook or Instagram
Speaker 1: and it just makes things worse. So good job on that.
Speaker 1: What you need to do is you need to trust
Speaker 1: God that you prayed for at the beginning of the email.
Speaker 1: You prayed to this God for sending you a partner,
Speaker 1: and you made this deal. I need you to take
Speaker 1: back all that stuff and go back to him and
Speaker 1: say God, I just I'm not going to pray for
Speaker 1: a partner. I'm not gonna pray you send me a wife.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pray for your will to be done, not mine.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pray for your purpose as you promised to
Speaker 1: be what it reigns victory over my life. Take my heart,
Speaker 1: have redemption over me in the cross, with your son
Speaker 1: that you sent in the flesh to become a substitute
Speaker 1: for my broken I trust in that. I am satisfied
Speaker 1: in that. That is my joy alone. Lord, you know
Speaker 1: my heart. You know I want a girl. But if
Speaker 1: that never happens, so be it. I trust you and
Speaker 1: your plan, not mine. Go back, say that prayer started
Speaker 1: the drawing board. Let months go by, you will heal.
Speaker 1: Here's a question, Subjecline says, Like a River, Hey Granger,
Speaker 1: I'm Sarah twenty eight from North Carolina. First of all,
Speaker 1: I want to say thank you for your due diligence
Speaker 1: with your family music company podcast and now ministry. I've
Speaker 1: listened to your podcast every week for the past three years.
Speaker 1: I am always excited to hear the discussions and how
Speaker 1: they relate to my life. Hearing everything, I've been able
Speaker 1: to put your advice into my own life. My question is,
Speaker 1: will your book Like a River be available on Spotify?
Speaker 1: As an audio book. Thanks again for doing fantastic things,
Speaker 1: and please continue to do God's work. Blessings, Sarah Harky. Sarah,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for that encouragement. That's amazing. You've
Speaker 1: listened every week for three years. That is so encouraging,
Speaker 1: and that kind of stuff just leads to me to
Speaker 1: keep going past episode two hundreds, So thank you so much, Sarah.
Speaker 1: Let's get into your question. Will your book Like a
Speaker 1: River be available on Spotify's an audiobook? No, I don't
Speaker 1: believe Spotify, at least I've never seen audiobooks on Spotify.
Speaker 1: This podcast is on Spotify, but not an audiobook. An
Speaker 1: audiobook is available on Audible the app. There are probably
Speaker 1: maybe other apps that carry audiobooks, but Audible is the
Speaker 1: one I use. So yes, I recorded it and I
Speaker 1: would love if you check it out on Audible or
Speaker 1: wherever you wherever other places that you listen to audiobooks,
Speaker 1: So let me know what you think of that. I'm
Speaker 1: actually very excited about the audiobook itself because I enjoyed
Speaker 1: making it and recording it, and there's some people that
Speaker 1: will that will prefer the audiobook and you could use
Speaker 1: it for road trips or if you work. You know,
Speaker 1: if you commute to work, then you could knock it
Speaker 1: out in just a few commutes. So I appreciate the
Speaker 1: encouragement on that next question subject, Gline says, insight, Hey Grangeer,
Speaker 1: my name is Matthew and I live in Virginia with
Speaker 1: my wife and daughter. To keep it short, I have
Speaker 1: messed up my marriage through my addiction to pornography. I
Speaker 1: am grateful and blessed to say that she is still
Speaker 1: with me and has remained faithful to me even in
Speaker 1: times when I haven't been to her. I'm currently a
Speaker 1: part of a porn recovery program and have learned so much.
Speaker 1: My issue is that now I'm approaching the sixth month
Speaker 1: point of abstinence in the past. This is the time
Speaker 1: where I start lying and begin to go back to
Speaker 1: that awful person. Recently, I've noticed that I've begun to
Speaker 1: get complacent. I do not want to hurt my wife anymore,
Speaker 1: and I've been consistent in my Bible study. What is
Speaker 1: your advice for men who struggle with this and how
Speaker 1: do I How do I move away from my old
Speaker 1: life and into my new life with God and my family.
Speaker 1: God bless all right? Matthew Man, thanks for being so vulnerable,
Speaker 1: and you're not even anonymous on here, so that takes
Speaker 1: a lot of courage and I'm encouraged by that. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of ways I can answer your question. And
Speaker 1: I have said before on this podcast that there is
Speaker 1: a website called Covenant Eyes dot com Covenant Eyes dot com,
Speaker 1: and that's that's a website that actually since I started
Speaker 1: mentioning it on the podcast, they reached out to me
Speaker 1: a few times, and it's a really good organization. Basically,
Speaker 1: here's the gist, here's the idea you give. You go
Speaker 1: to their website and you sign up. You get a subscription, right,
Speaker 1: and you sign up your phone and computer or tablet
Speaker 1: or whatever the IP addresses into their system. Then you
Speaker 1: enter vulnerable people into the system like your wife or
Speaker 1: your mother in law, or your own mother or your sister,
Speaker 1: people that can help keep you accountable like that where
Speaker 1: you would be devastated if they knew that you did something.
Speaker 1: So you enter those people in there, and then if
Speaker 1: you ever violate any website and go to some porn
Speaker 1: website from your IP address, it immediately sends a notification
Speaker 1: to whoever your safety people are. Mother in law, mother wife,
Speaker 1: So I guarantee you it makes you think twice before
Speaker 1: you type in that porn site. Kids, you're like, I
Speaker 1: forget about Covenant Eyes. If I type this in here,
Speaker 1: it's gonna go over to them and that would be devastating.
Speaker 1: So that is more powerful. That fear would be more
Speaker 1: powerful than the addiction is the temptation. So I think
Speaker 1: that's really good. I had learned this from pastor Chad,
Speaker 1: who's now in Montana hasn't been on the podcast in
Speaker 1: a while. I used to be a guest here pretty regular,
Speaker 1: but he was the first one that told me about it.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to remember the story that he had set up.
Speaker 1: I believe. I believe he had it set up on
Speaker 1: his computer, right, And this was years ago and he
Speaker 1: was on vacation with his family and they had some
Speaker 1: house sitters, some teenage boys. One of the teenage boys
Speaker 1: got on his computer and looked up a porn site.
Speaker 1: It then shot out that alert to Chad's mother in law,
Speaker 1: to Chad's wife and all these people. Well they just
Speaker 1: happened to all be on vacation together and they're like, uh, Chad,
Speaker 1: I just got this message from Coven and eyes and
Speaker 1: it's coming from your computer. And Chad's like, well, obviously
Speaker 1: it's not me because I don't even have my computer
Speaker 1: on vacation. So they found out it was this boy.
Speaker 1: He's a teenage kid back home. So Chad goes back
Speaker 1: and talks to him and it brought it was. He
Speaker 1: was able to really stir up a good conversation, but
Speaker 1: the kid was terrified. He had no idea that something
Speaker 1: like this would happen. But okay, that's so, that's that's
Speaker 1: a short a short fix for this, Matthew. Another thing
Speaker 1: I would do is just I would I would highly
Speaker 1: recommend an accountability team around you. And that's your boys.
Speaker 1: That's not your mother in law and stuff. This is
Speaker 1: a different group. These are your boys. These are the
Speaker 1: godly men, hopefully members in the same local, small church
Speaker 1: that you go to. And I'm hoping that you go
Speaker 1: to a church that is small enough that the pastor
Speaker 1: or pastors or elders they could be referred to, can
Speaker 1: that there's enough elders to properly shepherd the flock, meaning
Speaker 1: there's not too many people in the congregation that it
Speaker 1: gets out of hand and they're out of touch from
Speaker 1: the amount of elders, the percentage of elders that can
Speaker 1: keep them accountable. So I hope you go to a
Speaker 1: church like that, and if you do, then and if
Speaker 1: you don't, I'm not shaming you. I'm saying, let's get
Speaker 1: that ball rolling. Let's get into that church. Let's find
Speaker 1: you one. If you don't, email me back here and
Speaker 1: we'll find you one. But if you're not part of
Speaker 1: a church like that, let's get that ball rolling. That's
Speaker 1: a big that's a really big step in your walk,
Speaker 1: in your faith walk. And then once you are, or
Speaker 1: if you are, now, let's get your brothers in that
Speaker 1: church and just say, hey, guys, I struggle with a
Speaker 1: poor an addiction. And most likely there's going to be
Speaker 1: one or two others that you speak to. They go,
Speaker 1: I've either been there or I'm currently dealing with it.
Speaker 1: And then the other guys are probably right there with you.
Speaker 1: So you say, here's the deal, guys. These are times.
Speaker 1: There are times when I fall into temptation. And those
Speaker 1: are times like when my wife is on a business
Speaker 1: trip and she's gone, or the kids are at camp
Speaker 1: and I'm buying myself. Maybe I'm gone in a hotel
Speaker 1: room and I'm buy myself and I'm bored, and I
Speaker 1: have that temptation to pull up a website. So guys,
Speaker 1: let's keep in touch, let's keep each other accountable. And
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, hey, guys, heading out on Saturday. I'm
Speaker 1: heading out on this trip and I'm gonna be in
Speaker 1: a hotel room and be by myself. And it's one
Speaker 1: of those times in the past when I would go
Speaker 1: to some websites that I shouldn't and they're gonna be like, cool,
Speaker 1: I'm on it, brother, I'm keeping you accountable. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: call you on Saturday. I'm gonna check in with you.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you Saturday night. I'm gonna check in
Speaker 1: with you, and I'm gonna make sure and we're gonna
Speaker 1: be honest with each other. And then you do the
Speaker 1: same for them if they have the same kind of deal.
Speaker 1: That is huge. Accountability is huge for humans. We need that,
Speaker 1: we need that pressure, We need that we need knowing
Speaker 1: that man, Mark's gonna call me. I know Mark's gonna
Speaker 1: call me about nine o'clock, and I gotta be I
Speaker 1: gotta be straight with him. I'm not Mark can't call
Speaker 1: me at nine o'clock and I cannot lie to him,
Speaker 1: so I'm staying off of it. Plus, if I do
Speaker 1: go on it, Kevin and I is gonna shoot a
Speaker 1: message to my wife. So there's that. I think there's
Speaker 1: a there's a lot of ways to tackle this beast,
Speaker 1: and it really depends on how bad you hate the sin.
Speaker 1: It goes back to a couple of questions ago. It
Speaker 1: is a It is a huge, brother, Matthew. It is
Speaker 1: huge that you have this hatred for your sin and
Speaker 1: you're willing to email me and be vulnerable. That is that, brother.
Speaker 1: That is amazing, And I'm so encouraged by you, and
Speaker 1: I just want to I want to tell you to
Speaker 1: keep going because this this thing that you're feeling right here,
Speaker 1: this repentance that you're feeling, that you want to turn
Speaker 1: away and turn back to God and stop all this stuff,
Speaker 1: that's a great sign, this blessed assurance. Like I said
Speaker 1: earlier in the podcast, So I appreciate you. The problem
Speaker 1: would be is if you're like, you know what, I
Speaker 1: don't really see a problem with it. I don't really
Speaker 1: think it's that bad. It's not really, it's not that often.
Speaker 1: It's only every once in a while if you said
Speaker 1: stuff like that, that's when it gets dangerous. I appreciate
Speaker 1: all y'all. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next week,
Speaker 1: hopefully with questions about like a River Love. Y'all, thanks
Speaker 1: for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate
Speaker 1: all of you guys. You could help me out by
Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe
Speaker 1: to this channel, hit that little like button and notification
Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
Speaker 1: If you have a question for me that you would
Speaker 1: like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Yi