1 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: What's up, everybody? Welcome to the podcast. Good episode today, 2 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:19,560 Speaker 1: number two hundred, number two one hundred. I don't have 3 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:26,000 Speaker 1: any like confetti or anything special, any champagne to pop here, 4 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 1: but it is episode two hundred and so that gives 5 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:35,200 Speaker 1: me just a huge sense of gratefulness that enough people 6 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 1: listen to this podcast and are engaged in this podcast 7 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 1: to keep me motivated, to keep me encouraged so that 8 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:46,280 Speaker 1: I want to keep making them, because really, that's what 9 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 1: it comes down to. I would have stopped a long 10 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:52,159 Speaker 1: time ago if the viewership wasn't very good or no 11 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,360 Speaker 1: one really cared, or no one came up to me 12 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,200 Speaker 1: and meet and greets and said how excited they were 13 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 1: about the podcast. So when I do hear that stuff, 14 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,319 Speaker 1: I love it, and it gives me motivation to keep 15 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,760 Speaker 1: going because I have a lot of stuff going on, 16 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:10,040 Speaker 1: you know, between after midnight radio show to the Smiths 17 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 1: YouTube vlog twice a week, to touring music which is 18 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 1: insane right now, to lack a River book which is 19 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:29,400 Speaker 1: now out. What do you think about that? And that's crazy. 20 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:33,919 Speaker 1: I have a book out, and so I'm an author 21 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: now technically officially, and so I'm supporting that book going 22 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 1: out and preaching and doing stuff with that. I also 23 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 1: have Ye Apparel, which which I have to stay on 24 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 1: top of and all that of our seasonal launches and 25 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:51,520 Speaker 1: keeping up with with everything that goes into running an 26 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 1: apparel company. And then I'm my husband and I'm a father, 27 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 1: and I have you know, duties here at the house. 28 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 1: So there's just a lot of stuff going on, and 29 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 1: the podcast is something that I need to make time 30 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: for and I do that because I'm so encouraged by 31 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:17,400 Speaker 1: all the people that listen. I'll put it that way. 32 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 1: So I also have a morning show and iHeart now too, 33 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 1: but we'll talk about that later. Happy two hundred episode. 34 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 1: Thanks thanks for being here, and if you have a 35 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:32,360 Speaker 1: question for me, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. 36 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:36,560 Speaker 1: That's the format of what we do here. And I 37 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:38,400 Speaker 1: want to talk about Like a River as well, So 38 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:41,080 Speaker 1: if you have a question about lack a River, go 39 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,639 Speaker 1: ahead and send those in. Now that what I'm expecting 40 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 1: is people kind of getting into the book now and 41 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,639 Speaker 1: digging a little bit deeper. Last week I talked about 42 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:53,760 Speaker 1: I answered your questions about it, but I would love 43 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 1: to be able to get deeper into the book itself. 44 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 1: Maybe someone has a specific question and in the future, 45 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,800 Speaker 1: not today, we're not live, but a specific question in 46 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: the future about a certain thing that I wrote, or 47 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 1: something that happened to me, or maybe a specific chapter like, Hey, 48 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:18,560 Speaker 1: you mentioned in this specific chapter that this crazy thing 49 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:21,639 Speaker 1: happened to you or you thought this or said this. 50 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 1: Why did you say that? Why did that happen to you? 51 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,120 Speaker 1: What biblical evidence do you have to what you said? 52 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 1: Give me questions like that so that we could help 53 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 1: walk through it, so that if anyone is in a 54 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 1: situation anywhere close to similar to mine, that will be 55 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 1: very helpful. So use. What I'm saying is use this 56 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: podcast is a way to bounce off ideas back to 57 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: me about like a river, because I am expecting people 58 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 1: to read it. Hopefully, I'm expecting people to read it 59 00:03:56,400 --> 00:04:01,680 Speaker 1: and go, huh that chapter eight, there's some things that 60 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: happened that he wrote about that I would like to 61 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 1: know more about where he got that idea or why 62 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 1: he thought that or why he saw it this way? Okay, 63 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 1: does that make sense? So Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. 64 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 1: We'll start that. I'm throwing that out there so that 65 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,920 Speaker 1: we could start moving towards that next week. Hopefully we'll 66 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:22,240 Speaker 1: get a couple of those a week or so. That's 67 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:26,120 Speaker 1: that's the goal. And meanwhile, let's jump back into your 68 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:28,920 Speaker 1: old questions, the ones that you have submitted, and I'll 69 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 1: walk through these like we're sitting in the cap of 70 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:37,359 Speaker 1: a truck. First one on the docket, right off the 71 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 1: bat subdecline says filthy language and TMI in front of grandchildren, 72 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 1: Dear granger, my son and his wife think nothing of 73 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:50,040 Speaker 1: cursing in front of the children and also speak very 74 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:54,279 Speaker 1: candidly about politics to the point of distraction. I have 75 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,359 Speaker 1: tried speaking to them, and they believe that the children 76 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: don't even pay attention to anything that they're saying, and 77 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 1: they wish to do nothing different. My husband and I 78 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 1: are very concerned. It disturbs us greatly. Any advice would 79 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 1: be welcome. Thank you, Sylvia, Thank you Sylvia, thanks for emailing. 80 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,360 Speaker 1: And let's kind of dissect the question a little bit. 81 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:21,920 Speaker 1: First of all, my personal belief cussing, cursing in front 82 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:28,160 Speaker 1: of children is not good. Speaking very candidly about politics 83 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 1: to the point of distraction, or anything else that is 84 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:43,480 Speaker 1: adult conversation around kids not good. And then let's move 85 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: on to the back half of your question. Essentially, what 86 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 1: you're saying is they say that children don't even pay 87 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:54,039 Speaker 1: attention to anything. They're saying, of course they do. Of 88 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:58,760 Speaker 1: course children of course pay attention. They are much more 89 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:03,480 Speaker 1: aware than we can possibly imagine. So that's true every 90 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,919 Speaker 1: so far, all this stuff you said is true. Here's 91 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 1: what I want to challenge you on, Sylvia. I want 92 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,720 Speaker 1: to challenge you on your approach to all of this, 93 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 1: because you can easily come across as judgmental grandma like 94 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:19,800 Speaker 1: y'all shouldn't be cussed. You don't be cussing in front 95 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:23,800 Speaker 1: of them kids, don't be saying talking about politics in 96 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:27,320 Speaker 1: front of them kids. They are listening to you. You wrong, 97 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 1: and you know you're just gonna come across as jaded 98 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,880 Speaker 1: and judgmental. That by no means is that the way 99 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 1: that you sound. That's just I'm just saying there's a 100 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:42,360 Speaker 1: danger and going too far and becoming judgmental. So what 101 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,400 Speaker 1: I want to do is I want to challenge you 102 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:49,719 Speaker 1: to answer all of this with love, and remember that 103 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 1: it's love that's motivating you to do any of this. 104 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:55,800 Speaker 1: It's love for your children, it's love for your grandchildren. 105 00:06:56,120 --> 00:07:01,679 Speaker 1: It's not some kind of You're you're trying to figure 106 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:06,560 Speaker 1: out a way for them to be military students or 107 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,839 Speaker 1: you know something. You're not sending them off to board school, 108 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 1: boarding school. You're you're you're actually you love them so 109 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:17,280 Speaker 1: much that you care about how they're being influenced. Now, 110 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 1: So remember that, And why do you love them? Well, fundamentally, 111 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: you love them because you love your children, and they're 112 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: your children's children, and they're part of you, They're part 113 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 1: of your blood. So all of this, all of this 114 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:40,600 Speaker 1: is a is a way to a way to go 115 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:44,360 Speaker 1: about it. The wrong way can easily turn them off. Right, 116 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 1: it can easily turn them off. So I want you 117 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: to come in like this. I don't know you. I 118 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:52,920 Speaker 1: don't know if this is your your son or your daughter. 119 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 1: I don't know, But what's a pretend it's your son? 120 00:07:56,040 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 1: Just son? I love you and I care about you, 121 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 1: and I worry sometimes that using language that's not appropriate 122 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 1: for children could be a bad influence on them. How 123 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 1: could I help you? How can I help you and 124 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 1: your wife? Maybe you're stressed and you need me to 125 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,640 Speaker 1: take it off your plate a little bit. How could 126 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:23,000 Speaker 1: I help serve you son? Right? How do you do 127 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 1: that and always pouring in from a love perspective instead 128 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 1: of judgmental. Always back off. The judgmental thing is not 129 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 1: gonna work. They're gonna be like, get out of here. 130 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,199 Speaker 1: Let me raise my kids the way I want to 131 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: raise my kids. Right, So you're always leading with love. 132 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 1: And then in the meantime, you're talking to your grandkids 133 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,200 Speaker 1: and you're like, if you hear those words come from them, 134 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 1: then you just gently remind them, no, sir, no, ma'am, 135 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,960 Speaker 1: we do not use that language in this house. We 136 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:58,000 Speaker 1: do not use that language in this house. So you're 137 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 1: reinforcing with the kids and you're loving the parents. Okay, 138 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 1: next question is subseglance is too late? Hey, Grangould like 139 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 1: to stay anonymous for this one. I'm seventeen. I've grown 140 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: up in a very strong Christian home. Last year I 141 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: went to a so called Christian school, and since then 142 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 1: I have lost my fire and passion for God. I 143 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,920 Speaker 1: try to read my Bible and talk to God often. 144 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 1: I always start doing it, and no matter how hard 145 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 1: I try to keep it going, it only lasts for 146 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:34,080 Speaker 1: maybe a week before I lose passion again. I've also 147 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,280 Speaker 1: struggled with ongoing sin for the past number of years, 148 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,520 Speaker 1: and maybe that is leading me away from God. My 149 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 1: question is is it too late? Has my heart been hardened? 150 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:49,400 Speaker 1: I cry out to God often and nothing has ever 151 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:52,480 Speaker 1: come of it. I know that if I do not 152 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: repent and turn to God, I will miss out on 153 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,640 Speaker 1: living with Him in heaven for eternity. But I feel 154 00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:00,959 Speaker 1: stuck in a daze where, for some reason and I 155 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,559 Speaker 1: cannot actually seem to commit my life to him. PS. 156 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,800 Speaker 1: I'm sorry this is long, and I really like your songs. 157 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,079 Speaker 1: My current is hate you like I love you. Okay. 158 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:14,960 Speaker 1: Question comes from Zephyan and he's seventeen and we need 159 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:18,480 Speaker 1: you and I need to have a serious discussion. You're ready, Okay. 160 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:24,319 Speaker 1: I'm reading your email, and it is it's become apparent 161 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 1: that you have forgotten that you are saved by grace 162 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 1: through faith. This is not your own doing. So I 163 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 1: want you to be aware that all of what you're saying, 164 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 1: because it's all leading up, all of your question is 165 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 1: leading up to where'd you say it? Right here? I 166 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: will miss out on living with Him in heaven for eternity. 167 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 1: So you're talking about eternal life, You're talking about salvation. 168 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,680 Speaker 1: You don't want to miss out on salvation. That's what 169 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:02,559 Speaker 1: you're saying. The only way you're going to miss out 170 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:06,360 Speaker 1: on salvation is if you're not saved by grace through faith. 171 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 1: And that is not it, says Ephesians two nine says, 172 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 1: is not your doing. Rest in that, brother, rest that. 173 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:19,360 Speaker 1: It is not your works. It is not your how 174 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:23,679 Speaker 1: much you decide to be a better person. It is. 175 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 1: It is not how much you do good and less bad. 176 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:31,200 Speaker 1: It is not how much you read your Bible. It 177 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,360 Speaker 1: is not how much you talk to God. It's not 178 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,000 Speaker 1: how much you pray. It none of that. You're saved 179 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 1: by grace. That is a gift for unmerited favor. Right, 180 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 1: you do not deserve it, you did not earn it. 181 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:50,440 Speaker 1: But you're saved by grace. So yes, turn to him 182 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,760 Speaker 1: in repentance. But faith is a gift. Repentance is a gift. 183 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:59,720 Speaker 1: Turn to him, repent and believe that's the only thing 184 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 1: you're responsible for. Now, what happens when you do that 185 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,200 Speaker 1: is you'll start to see the fruits of your repentance, 186 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 1: the fruits of your faith, the fruits of your salvation. 187 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 1: What are the fruits. One of the fruits is of many. 188 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 1: One of the fruits is you'll hate your sin. Look 189 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,880 Speaker 1: at you. That's what you're doing. Do you hate it? 190 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 1: You're doing everything you can do eradicate it. In fact, 191 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 1: you're emailing me to talk about it. You're like, man Granger, 192 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,560 Speaker 1: I hate my sin. I just want my Lord Jesus. 193 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 1: I want to be with them in eternity. I want 194 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,800 Speaker 1: to turn to him. I want to love him. I 195 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,480 Speaker 1: want to be with him. But I got the sin 196 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:43,839 Speaker 1: and I want it out of my life. That is repentance. 197 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,880 Speaker 1: You're doing it, brother, That is a fruit of your salvation. 198 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,160 Speaker 1: So I want to tell you, if anything right now 199 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,880 Speaker 1: on this podcast, I want to tell you have blessed assurance. 200 00:12:54,320 --> 00:13:00,280 Speaker 1: You're saved. Brother. Rest in that. Rest in that, and 201 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 1: then out of gratefulness, because you will spend eternity with 202 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: your heavenly Father right out of gratefulness for that, out 203 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 1: of the abundance of your heart. Then start killing that sin. 204 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 1: Start kindling that fire that you're talking about, how no 205 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,839 Speaker 1: matter what you do, you always lose it again. Start 206 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 1: kindling that not out of works, not out of need 207 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 1: to be better for God. Do it out of on 208 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:35,640 Speaker 1: the other side of your heart, gratefulness that you're saved 209 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,680 Speaker 1: and you're a wretched sinner and you didn't deserve any 210 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 1: of it. But because you didn't deserve it, because of 211 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:44,199 Speaker 1: your unmerited favor that you've been given by God, out 212 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,679 Speaker 1: of his grace, you've been saved, and out of that 213 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 1: side of your heart, the gratefulness overflows and you go cut. 214 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:55,080 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that you saved a wretch like me, 215 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:58,640 Speaker 1: like the song amazing grace. And so because of that, 216 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,600 Speaker 1: I want to know you more. I want to study 217 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 1: you more. I want to read my Bible more. I 218 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 1: want to cultivate this flame that sometimes starts to flicker 219 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,800 Speaker 1: out and turns to embers, and I want to rekindle it, 220 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:14,720 Speaker 1: not because I need to get to heaven, but because 221 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:19,160 Speaker 1: I want to know my savior. I hope you see 222 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 1: the difference, Zephyan and I appreciate everything you said, and 223 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:28,120 Speaker 1: I want you to see the difference. We're gonna take 224 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 1: a break your back. Thanks for listening to the podcast. 225 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 1: Now we are at one complete week. Since Like a 226 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 1: River has come out. What do you think of Like 227 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,440 Speaker 1: a River? Did you buy the book? Were you able 228 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,840 Speaker 1: to check out the book? Did you check out the 229 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:50,040 Speaker 1: audio book? Because that's something that's very special to me. 230 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 1: Recording the audiobook reading the book. That was the first 231 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 1: time I read the final manuscript after I made all 232 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 1: the edits and changes individually in different pieces. Then I 233 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 1: came back and once it was complete, read it for 234 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 1: the audiobook, and it was in so many ways I 235 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,800 Speaker 1: think I cried or at least got choked up in 236 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:12,240 Speaker 1: some way, not just sad, but a lot of times happy, happy, 237 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 1: choke up sometimes in each chapter. So that's special to me. 238 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 1: If you read the book Like a River and you're 239 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 1: looking for more, I would suggest the audiobook. Listen to that, 240 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:27,120 Speaker 1: maybe on a road trip or maybe on a work commute. 241 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,560 Speaker 1: You can go back and forth, and it's only going 242 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 1: to take you a few trips to work before you 243 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 1: finish the book itself. But I'm just I'm so appreciative, 244 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,320 Speaker 1: so grateful that a lot of y'all have reached out 245 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 1: to me since the release of Like a River. And 246 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 1: this is my story. This is the story of my 247 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,760 Speaker 1: wife and I and our journey, and our kids journey, 248 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,160 Speaker 1: and my extended family's journey. After we lost our little 249 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:51,040 Speaker 1: boys three years old. His name was River, and we 250 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:55,120 Speaker 1: lost him in twenty nineteen, I hit rock bottom after that, 251 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 1: and the story is the rise from rock bottom and 252 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 1: the way that it happened and all the ways that 253 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,400 Speaker 1: I tried to make it happen that didn't work. And 254 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:09,080 Speaker 1: this book is, I hope, I hope, an encouragement to 255 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,640 Speaker 1: so many people that are suffering with some kind of 256 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:15,800 Speaker 1: grief or loss or pain or depression. If it's if 257 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:19,560 Speaker 1: it's something that you believe in, then share it with 258 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 1: a friend and let's get this book into as many 259 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:30,200 Speaker 1: hands as possible. Back to the podcast, back from the 260 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 1: from the break here and reminding everybody that Like a River, 261 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:37,840 Speaker 1: my book is out, So please part of your questions, 262 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 1: which you email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Part 263 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 1: of your questions, I would love to start seeing some 264 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 1: specific questions about the book Like a River it is. 265 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,280 Speaker 1: It is my grief journey after we lost our little 266 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,000 Speaker 1: boy River. He was three years old in twenty nineteen. 267 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 1: My wife and I lost him and I hit rock 268 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,840 Speaker 1: bottom as deep as you can go. I went to 269 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,280 Speaker 1: specific details of this in the book as I tried 270 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 1: everything I could to come out of this, to try 271 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:09,000 Speaker 1: to be better person, to try to be the rock 272 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:12,119 Speaker 1: for my family, to try to not have PTSD, to 273 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:16,359 Speaker 1: try to be okay again. I tried everything and it 274 00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:19,320 Speaker 1: didn't work. I ended up back down at rock bottom. 275 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:22,160 Speaker 1: And by chapter seven of that book, it doesn't get 276 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,200 Speaker 1: any darker. In fact, that chapter is called the Dark 277 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:28,399 Speaker 1: Knight of the Soul. But you have to keep reading. 278 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 1: You have to go to chapter eight. Don't call me, 279 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:34,600 Speaker 1: don't message me, don't email me at chapter seven until 280 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:38,280 Speaker 1: you get the chapter eight, and then message me, ask 281 00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:41,800 Speaker 1: me questions. Let's unpack this. Let's talk about how this 282 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:46,920 Speaker 1: could happen to you as well. Okay, Grangersmith Podcast at 283 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,720 Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Email me, and let's jump back into 284 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 1: these questions here. Sub decline on this one says problems. 285 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: Hey Grange, I'd like to stay anonymous. A few months ago, 286 00:17:57,359 --> 00:18:00,320 Speaker 1: I was at a very low point in my life. 287 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,679 Speaker 1: I prayed to God to send me a friend or 288 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,520 Speaker 1: a partner. The other part of my prayer was for 289 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,800 Speaker 1: him to send only a partner if she is who 290 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,160 Speaker 1: God intends to be my wife. The very next day, 291 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,640 Speaker 1: I met this girl and we started hanging out every 292 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:19,280 Speaker 1: day and everything was amazing until she started to become distant. 293 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,879 Speaker 1: I tried to discuss this with her and she got 294 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,679 Speaker 1: mad and she said she didn't want to force a label, 295 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,760 Speaker 1: which I wasn't, but we agreed to take things slow. 296 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:33,120 Speaker 1: But she eventually didn't even want that. I was torn 297 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,439 Speaker 1: apart and I couldn't continue, so I ended things and 298 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 1: she agreed. She said that she couldn't be what I wanted, 299 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,919 Speaker 1: when all I wanted was to make take things slow 300 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:47,840 Speaker 1: with her. I continue to think about her every single day. 301 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,680 Speaker 1: It's becoming very difficult because I removed her on all 302 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:54,359 Speaker 1: social media and it's been on multiple it's been multiple months, 303 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,800 Speaker 1: but I still think about her twenty four to seven. 304 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,840 Speaker 1: I've never felt this way for someone, and no one 305 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:03,119 Speaker 1: compares to her. I feel like I lost the one. 306 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:08,040 Speaker 1: Thanks Anonymous. All right, brother, thanks for emailing. I love 307 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:14,320 Speaker 1: the format of this podcast because I can be an 308 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,480 Speaker 1: outside source for you. I could be someone that sees 309 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:21,639 Speaker 1: the outside perspective. I'm not in the trenches with you. 310 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,400 Speaker 1: You're deep in the trenches, and your family and your 311 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,240 Speaker 1: friends are somewhat in there as well. But I'm not 312 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 1: at all. Brother. I don't even know you. I don't 313 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,040 Speaker 1: know your situation. I don't know who your mama is, 314 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,760 Speaker 1: I don't know your hometown. I don't even know how 315 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,439 Speaker 1: old you are, so I am totally outside the bubble. 316 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,920 Speaker 1: All I know is you have emailed me asking for advice. 317 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:45,399 Speaker 1: So that's great. That's great because I could tell you 318 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,800 Speaker 1: from the outside perspective. I could shoot you straight with 319 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:51,600 Speaker 1: tough love, and that way you'll know you're getting an 320 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 1: unbiased answer. I have no reason to make you feel 321 00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 1: warm and fuzzy, to make you feel happy. I have 322 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,480 Speaker 1: no reason to for you to be distant from this 323 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:04,760 Speaker 1: girl and hate this girl, or to love her and 324 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,880 Speaker 1: marry her. I have no reason, know nothing for any 325 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,760 Speaker 1: of this except for my opinion. You're ready. Here we 326 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:18,359 Speaker 1: go the whole first part. You're praying this whole making 327 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,200 Speaker 1: a deal with God thing is is wrong and it's bad. 328 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:26,080 Speaker 1: You're you don't make deals with God, like you said, 329 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,640 Speaker 1: My prayer was for God to send me a partner, 330 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,280 Speaker 1: only if she was the one who God intends to 331 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:36,680 Speaker 1: be in my life. Don't make deals with God. You're 332 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 1: not in Vegas. You're not talking to a car dealer. 333 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,760 Speaker 1: You know you're not. You're not playing what's that show 334 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:48,359 Speaker 1: on TV? Make a deal or whatever, Let's make a deal. 335 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,120 Speaker 1: You're not. You're not talking to God that way. You're 336 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:58,080 Speaker 1: saying God, you know my heart, I desire a wife. 337 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:01,960 Speaker 1: In fact, your word says it's a good thing for 338 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,280 Speaker 1: a man to have a wife. Your word says that 339 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:11,280 Speaker 1: a man shouldn't be alone. That's your promise. So you 340 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:13,959 Speaker 1: know I desire that for myself. You built me, You 341 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:18,520 Speaker 1: created me. You know I desire a girl. But Lord, 342 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,600 Speaker 1: I will trust you that if she hasn't come into 343 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,320 Speaker 1: my life yet, if you haven't sent one to me yet, 344 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:27,359 Speaker 1: then it's not in your timing. So I trust your plan, 345 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:31,280 Speaker 1: not mine. I will responsibly look. But I pray God 346 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:34,720 Speaker 1: that you give me discernment on who I should be 347 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:38,560 Speaker 1: settling down with. And ultimately I trust you God, I 348 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,160 Speaker 1: hear none of that in this. I make a deal plan, 349 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 1: you send me the next one. I open my eyes, 350 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,159 Speaker 1: and you know, it's like Genie pops out of the 351 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:49,520 Speaker 1: bottle stuff. Be very careful with that, because what happened 352 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,000 Speaker 1: is you said that make a deal, Genie pops out 353 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:53,679 Speaker 1: of a bottle plan, and then the next girl that 354 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,880 Speaker 1: comes around that you have a crush on, you think 355 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 1: she's the one, and then that girl gets really freaked 356 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,680 Speaker 1: out because you're pressing in so close. She doesn't know 357 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:06,439 Speaker 1: what to think. She feels smothered, she feels responsible that 358 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,320 Speaker 1: she's like an answer to your prayer. And she's like, 359 00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:10,960 Speaker 1: I don't know. I've never asked to be part of 360 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,399 Speaker 1: your prayer. I never asked to be part of this 361 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,240 Speaker 1: answered prayer thing. And how did I pop out of 362 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,680 Speaker 1: the bottle, the genie in the bottle? How is that me? 363 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 1: I didn't sign up for this? And you're like, listen 364 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:25,800 Speaker 1: to me. I prayed for you and God brought me you, 365 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:29,720 Speaker 1: and you are the one, by the way, soul mate 366 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:33,679 Speaker 1: or the one that stuff is pagan it is it 367 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,840 Speaker 1: is not what we believe, this whole idea that there 368 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:40,960 Speaker 1: is one soul for you, there's one soul mate for you. 369 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 1: There is only one. There is only one. I know 370 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:48,639 Speaker 1: it sounds romantic, but it's just not true. It's weird. Okay, 371 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:53,159 Speaker 1: There's there's like four billion girls on this planet, so 372 00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 1: you're gonna find a one, okay, And it's okay. You'll 373 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 1: find one that's compatible, and God will bless that relationship 374 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:06,719 Speaker 1: and you'll and you'll responsibly carry forth. You're into the deal. Okay, 375 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,040 Speaker 1: look at it that way. It's not romantic at all 376 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,480 Speaker 1: what I just said. But let let's be practical about this. 377 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:19,000 Speaker 1: So this is what happened. You brought all this pressure 378 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 1: on her to be the one and the answer to 379 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,920 Speaker 1: the prayer, and then of course she starts to feel distant, 380 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:29,280 Speaker 1: and as she becomes distant, you're you're tugging closer. You're like, hey, 381 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,639 Speaker 1: I don't want to lose you. You're the one. Oh man, Okay, 382 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,720 Speaker 1: maybe we should take things slow at this point, you're 383 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:38,679 Speaker 1: just compromising. Okay, fine, we'll take things slow. Okay, I'm 384 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:40,720 Speaker 1: going to wait a couple of days before I text you. 385 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:44,199 Speaker 1: And you're you're making it worse, Anonymous, You're making it 386 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:51,240 Speaker 1: worse here. You're compromising because you're so crazy about her, 387 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,960 Speaker 1: and part of it is because you think God brought 388 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:59,440 Speaker 1: her to you. It's borderline psycho once again, outside perspective. 389 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:03,359 Speaker 1: I love you. That's why I'm reading your email. If 390 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,440 Speaker 1: I didn't love you at all, I wouldn't read it. 391 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:09,280 Speaker 1: I hope you know that. But it does nothing if 392 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:13,480 Speaker 1: I just coddle you and just say yeah, I'm so sorry. Man, 393 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:16,879 Speaker 1: this girl she's the one. Go get her. She was 394 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:18,640 Speaker 1: the answer to your prayer. I'm not going to say 395 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:22,199 Speaker 1: any of that stuff. So let's move forward. In the email, 396 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:29,560 Speaker 1: she said she couldn't be what I wanted, true, because 397 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,360 Speaker 1: you wanted her to be the one. That's what your 398 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:35,200 Speaker 1: last sentence says. I feel like I lost the one, 399 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:40,760 Speaker 1: right you see that. But here's what you said. You 400 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,919 Speaker 1: said all I wanted was to take things slow. Now 401 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,680 Speaker 1: it's not that's not all you wanted. That's not all 402 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:51,000 Speaker 1: you wanted. Let's be honest. Moving on, it says it's 403 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,560 Speaker 1: becoming very difficult because I removed her on all social 404 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:57,439 Speaker 1: media and it's been many months. Excellent, good job. I 405 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,639 Speaker 1: think that's a great move. If you've listened to me before, 406 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,920 Speaker 1: you know that, I always advise cutting it off. Cut 407 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,560 Speaker 1: off to social media. You don't want to wake up 408 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:07,120 Speaker 1: in the morning and see her on Facebook or Instagram 409 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,399 Speaker 1: and it just makes things worse. So good job on that. 410 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 1: What you need to do is you need to trust 411 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,679 Speaker 1: God that you prayed for at the beginning of the email. 412 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:24,959 Speaker 1: You prayed to this God for sending you a partner, 413 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,920 Speaker 1: and you made this deal. I need you to take 414 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,679 Speaker 1: back all that stuff and go back to him and 415 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:33,480 Speaker 1: say God, I just I'm not going to pray for 416 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:37,119 Speaker 1: a partner. I'm not gonna pray you send me a wife. 417 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna pray for your will to be done, not mine. 418 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:45,879 Speaker 1: I'm gonna pray for your purpose as you promised to 419 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:50,440 Speaker 1: be what it reigns victory over my life. Take my heart, 420 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:56,200 Speaker 1: have redemption over me in the cross, with your son 421 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,120 Speaker 1: that you sent in the flesh to become a substitute 422 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:03,280 Speaker 1: for my broken I trust in that. I am satisfied 423 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:08,320 Speaker 1: in that. That is my joy alone. Lord, you know 424 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,320 Speaker 1: my heart. You know I want a girl. But if 425 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,840 Speaker 1: that never happens, so be it. I trust you and 426 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:17,879 Speaker 1: your plan, not mine. Go back, say that prayer started 427 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:23,200 Speaker 1: the drawing board. Let months go by, you will heal. 428 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,879 Speaker 1: Here's a question, Subjecline says, Like a River, Hey Granger, 429 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:34,000 Speaker 1: I'm Sarah twenty eight from North Carolina. First of all, 430 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 1: I want to say thank you for your due diligence 431 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:41,040 Speaker 1: with your family music company podcast and now ministry. I've 432 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:44,600 Speaker 1: listened to your podcast every week for the past three years. 433 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,760 Speaker 1: I am always excited to hear the discussions and how 434 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:51,439 Speaker 1: they relate to my life. Hearing everything, I've been able 435 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:55,639 Speaker 1: to put your advice into my own life. My question is, 436 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,119 Speaker 1: will your book Like a River be available on Spotify? 437 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,960 Speaker 1: As an audio book. Thanks again for doing fantastic things, 438 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:08,879 Speaker 1: and please continue to do God's work. Blessings, Sarah Harky. Sarah, 439 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,760 Speaker 1: thank you so much for that encouragement. That's amazing. You've 440 00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 1: listened every week for three years. That is so encouraging, 441 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:21,040 Speaker 1: and that kind of stuff just leads to me to 442 00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:25,960 Speaker 1: keep going past episode two hundreds, So thank you so much, Sarah. 443 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:28,560 Speaker 1: Let's get into your question. Will your book Like a 444 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:31,800 Speaker 1: River be available on Spotify's an audiobook? No, I don't 445 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 1: believe Spotify, at least I've never seen audiobooks on Spotify. 446 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:41,280 Speaker 1: This podcast is on Spotify, but not an audiobook. An 447 00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:46,320 Speaker 1: audiobook is available on Audible the app. There are probably 448 00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 1: maybe other apps that carry audiobooks, but Audible is the 449 00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:54,840 Speaker 1: one I use. So yes, I recorded it and I 450 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:58,720 Speaker 1: would love if you check it out on Audible or 451 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:02,760 Speaker 1: wherever you wherever other places that you listen to audiobooks, 452 00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,360 Speaker 1: So let me know what you think of that. I'm 453 00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:11,000 Speaker 1: actually very excited about the audiobook itself because I enjoyed 454 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:15,520 Speaker 1: making it and recording it, and there's some people that 455 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:20,199 Speaker 1: will that will prefer the audiobook and you could use 456 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,359 Speaker 1: it for road trips or if you work. You know, 457 00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:25,560 Speaker 1: if you commute to work, then you could knock it 458 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,879 Speaker 1: out in just a few commutes. So I appreciate the 459 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:35,240 Speaker 1: encouragement on that next question subject, Gline says, insight, Hey Grangeer, 460 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,520 Speaker 1: my name is Matthew and I live in Virginia with 461 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,280 Speaker 1: my wife and daughter. To keep it short, I have 462 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:44,240 Speaker 1: messed up my marriage through my addiction to pornography. I 463 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,760 Speaker 1: am grateful and blessed to say that she is still 464 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,360 Speaker 1: with me and has remained faithful to me even in 465 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,360 Speaker 1: times when I haven't been to her. I'm currently a 466 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:56,360 Speaker 1: part of a porn recovery program and have learned so much. 467 00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:59,240 Speaker 1: My issue is that now I'm approaching the sixth month 468 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:03,880 Speaker 1: point of abstinence in the past. This is the time 469 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,640 Speaker 1: where I start lying and begin to go back to 470 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:10,000 Speaker 1: that awful person. Recently, I've noticed that I've begun to 471 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:14,480 Speaker 1: get complacent. I do not want to hurt my wife anymore, 472 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,880 Speaker 1: and I've been consistent in my Bible study. What is 473 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,280 Speaker 1: your advice for men who struggle with this and how 474 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,400 Speaker 1: do I How do I move away from my old 475 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:25,560 Speaker 1: life and into my new life with God and my family. 476 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 1: God bless all right? Matthew Man, thanks for being so vulnerable, 477 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:34,680 Speaker 1: and you're not even anonymous on here, so that takes 478 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:40,200 Speaker 1: a lot of courage and I'm encouraged by that. There's 479 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:43,360 Speaker 1: a lot of ways I can answer your question. And 480 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:47,120 Speaker 1: I have said before on this podcast that there is 481 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 1: a website called Covenant Eyes dot com Covenant Eyes dot com, 482 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:58,480 Speaker 1: and that's that's a website that actually since I started 483 00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:00,760 Speaker 1: mentioning it on the podcast, they reached out to me 484 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:05,560 Speaker 1: a few times, and it's a really good organization. Basically, 485 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:09,760 Speaker 1: here's the gist, here's the idea you give. You go 486 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,880 Speaker 1: to their website and you sign up. You get a subscription, right, 487 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:17,400 Speaker 1: and you sign up your phone and computer or tablet 488 00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:22,479 Speaker 1: or whatever the IP addresses into their system. Then you 489 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:27,560 Speaker 1: enter vulnerable people into the system like your wife or 490 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,880 Speaker 1: your mother in law, or your own mother or your sister, 491 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,920 Speaker 1: people that can help keep you accountable like that where 492 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:38,000 Speaker 1: you would be devastated if they knew that you did something. 493 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:45,360 Speaker 1: So you enter those people in there, and then if 494 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:50,200 Speaker 1: you ever violate any website and go to some porn 495 00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:54,480 Speaker 1: website from your IP address, it immediately sends a notification 496 00:30:55,200 --> 00:31:01,360 Speaker 1: to whoever your safety people are. Mother in law, mother wife, 497 00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,960 Speaker 1: So I guarantee you it makes you think twice before 498 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,680 Speaker 1: you type in that porn site. Kids, you're like, I 499 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,880 Speaker 1: forget about Covenant Eyes. If I type this in here, 500 00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:15,160 Speaker 1: it's gonna go over to them and that would be devastating. 501 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:19,800 Speaker 1: So that is more powerful. That fear would be more 502 00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:24,880 Speaker 1: powerful than the addiction is the temptation. So I think 503 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:28,040 Speaker 1: that's really good. I had learned this from pastor Chad, 504 00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,360 Speaker 1: who's now in Montana hasn't been on the podcast in 505 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,360 Speaker 1: a while. I used to be a guest here pretty regular, 506 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:38,920 Speaker 1: but he was the first one that told me about it. 507 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,680 Speaker 1: I'm trying to remember the story that he had set up. 508 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:48,200 Speaker 1: I believe. I believe he had it set up on 509 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:52,440 Speaker 1: his computer, right, And this was years ago and he 510 00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:55,360 Speaker 1: was on vacation with his family and they had some 511 00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:59,440 Speaker 1: house sitters, some teenage boys. One of the teenage boys 512 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,600 Speaker 1: got on his computer and looked up a porn site. 513 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:07,120 Speaker 1: It then shot out that alert to Chad's mother in law, 514 00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 1: to Chad's wife and all these people. Well they just 515 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:13,880 Speaker 1: happened to all be on vacation together and they're like, uh, Chad, 516 00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:17,280 Speaker 1: I just got this message from Coven and eyes and 517 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,000 Speaker 1: it's coming from your computer. And Chad's like, well, obviously 518 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:21,719 Speaker 1: it's not me because I don't even have my computer 519 00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:25,080 Speaker 1: on vacation. So they found out it was this boy. 520 00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,320 Speaker 1: He's a teenage kid back home. So Chad goes back 521 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,640 Speaker 1: and talks to him and it brought it was. He 522 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,280 Speaker 1: was able to really stir up a good conversation, but 523 00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,640 Speaker 1: the kid was terrified. He had no idea that something 524 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,400 Speaker 1: like this would happen. But okay, that's so, that's that's 525 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,920 Speaker 1: a short a short fix for this, Matthew. Another thing 526 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:44,240 Speaker 1: I would do is just I would I would highly 527 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,719 Speaker 1: recommend an accountability team around you. And that's your boys. 528 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:49,720 Speaker 1: That's not your mother in law and stuff. This is 529 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,960 Speaker 1: a different group. These are your boys. These are the 530 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,080 Speaker 1: godly men, hopefully members in the same local, small church 531 00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:58,880 Speaker 1: that you go to. And I'm hoping that you go 532 00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:03,560 Speaker 1: to a church that is small enough that the pastor 533 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:09,280 Speaker 1: or pastors or elders they could be referred to, can 534 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:14,640 Speaker 1: that there's enough elders to properly shepherd the flock, meaning 535 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:18,000 Speaker 1: there's not too many people in the congregation that it 536 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,120 Speaker 1: gets out of hand and they're out of touch from 537 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:23,160 Speaker 1: the amount of elders, the percentage of elders that can 538 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,280 Speaker 1: keep them accountable. So I hope you go to a 539 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,360 Speaker 1: church like that, and if you do, then and if 540 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,960 Speaker 1: you don't, I'm not shaming you. I'm saying, let's get 541 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,800 Speaker 1: that ball rolling. Let's get into that church. Let's find 542 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:36,920 Speaker 1: you one. If you don't, email me back here and 543 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:38,640 Speaker 1: we'll find you one. But if you're not part of 544 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,600 Speaker 1: a church like that, let's get that ball rolling. That's 545 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:43,200 Speaker 1: a big that's a really big step in your walk, 546 00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:45,560 Speaker 1: in your faith walk. And then once you are, or 547 00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:47,440 Speaker 1: if you are, now, let's get your brothers in that 548 00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:51,360 Speaker 1: church and just say, hey, guys, I struggle with a 549 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:54,920 Speaker 1: poor an addiction. And most likely there's going to be 550 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:56,920 Speaker 1: one or two others that you speak to. They go, 551 00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,840 Speaker 1: I've either been there or I'm currently dealing with it. 552 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,160 Speaker 1: And then the other guys are probably right there with you. 553 00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:07,280 Speaker 1: So you say, here's the deal, guys. These are times. 554 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:10,839 Speaker 1: There are times when I fall into temptation. And those 555 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,880 Speaker 1: are times like when my wife is on a business 556 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 1: trip and she's gone, or the kids are at camp 557 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:17,680 Speaker 1: and I'm buying myself. Maybe I'm gone in a hotel 558 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:20,000 Speaker 1: room and I'm buy myself and I'm bored, and I 559 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:23,440 Speaker 1: have that temptation to pull up a website. So guys, 560 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,520 Speaker 1: let's keep in touch, let's keep each other accountable. And 561 00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:29,839 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, hey, guys, heading out on Saturday. I'm 562 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:33,320 Speaker 1: heading out on this trip and I'm gonna be in 563 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:36,359 Speaker 1: a hotel room and be by myself. And it's one 564 00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 1: of those times in the past when I would go 565 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:43,400 Speaker 1: to some websites that I shouldn't and they're gonna be like, cool, 566 00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:47,040 Speaker 1: I'm on it, brother, I'm keeping you accountable. I'm gonna 567 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:49,360 Speaker 1: call you on Saturday. I'm gonna check in with you. 568 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,239 Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you Saturday night. I'm gonna check in 569 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:53,120 Speaker 1: with you, and I'm gonna make sure and we're gonna 570 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:55,000 Speaker 1: be honest with each other. And then you do the 571 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,919 Speaker 1: same for them if they have the same kind of deal. 572 00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:01,359 Speaker 1: That is huge. Accountability is huge for humans. We need that, 573 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,800 Speaker 1: we need that pressure, We need that we need knowing 574 00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:07,160 Speaker 1: that man, Mark's gonna call me. I know Mark's gonna 575 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:10,160 Speaker 1: call me about nine o'clock, and I gotta be I 576 00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,319 Speaker 1: gotta be straight with him. I'm not Mark can't call 577 00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,520 Speaker 1: me at nine o'clock and I cannot lie to him, 578 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:19,680 Speaker 1: so I'm staying off of it. Plus, if I do 579 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:21,279 Speaker 1: go on it, Kevin and I is gonna shoot a 580 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:24,239 Speaker 1: message to my wife. So there's that. I think there's 581 00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:26,080 Speaker 1: a there's a lot of ways to tackle this beast, 582 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:30,720 Speaker 1: and it really depends on how bad you hate the sin. 583 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,920 Speaker 1: It goes back to a couple of questions ago. It 584 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,759 Speaker 1: is a It is a huge, brother, Matthew. It is 585 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,920 Speaker 1: huge that you have this hatred for your sin and 586 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:44,760 Speaker 1: you're willing to email me and be vulnerable. That is that, brother. 587 00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:48,400 Speaker 1: That is amazing, And I'm so encouraged by you, and 588 00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:49,920 Speaker 1: I just want to I want to tell you to 589 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:53,480 Speaker 1: keep going because this this thing that you're feeling right here, 590 00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:55,520 Speaker 1: this repentance that you're feeling, that you want to turn 591 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,720 Speaker 1: away and turn back to God and stop all this stuff, 592 00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:02,160 Speaker 1: that's a great sign, this blessed assurance. Like I said 593 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:05,239 Speaker 1: earlier in the podcast, So I appreciate you. The problem 594 00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:07,200 Speaker 1: would be is if you're like, you know what, I 595 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,319 Speaker 1: don't really see a problem with it. I don't really 596 00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:12,200 Speaker 1: think it's that bad. It's not really, it's not that often. 597 00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:14,040 Speaker 1: It's only every once in a while if you said 598 00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:17,240 Speaker 1: stuff like that, that's when it gets dangerous. I appreciate 599 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:20,080 Speaker 1: all y'all. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next week, 600 00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:23,440 Speaker 1: hopefully with questions about like a River Love. Y'all, thanks 601 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,200 Speaker 1: for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate 602 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,399 Speaker 1: all of you guys. You could help me out by 603 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:32,319 Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe 604 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:35,759 Speaker 1: to this channel, hit that little like button and notification 605 00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:39,720 Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. 606 00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:41,680 Speaker 1: If you have a question for me that you would 607 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:47,360 Speaker 1: like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. 608 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:47,880 Speaker 1: Yi