1
00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:09,160
Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Him is COVID nine edition.

2
00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:15,079
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Pollock, Yes that Kevin Well. But

3
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:18,239
Speaker 1: days land reopens, they'll reopen my heart too. Okay, but

4
00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,120
Speaker 1: I digress, Sweet Kim shall we know particularly to say

5
00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:26,360
Speaker 1: hello to Craig Kowski cow, assuming there's anything. What's the

6
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:35,360
Speaker 1: third thing you missed about having me as host? Uh? Chaos? Yeah, sweet,

7
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:39,120
Speaker 1: sweet chaos. You just add a little uh, you know,

8
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:44,360
Speaker 1: good chaos into the mix. And uh I thought, you know,

9
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:50,160
Speaker 1: while you were gone, we were too straightforward, to too

10
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:55,800
Speaker 1: polite and too too good. I didn't hear him saying

11
00:00:55,840 --> 00:01:01,920
Speaker 1: good christ Okay, that's all John Belu inspired. Um, and

12
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:05,080
Speaker 1: now Chris Alvarado Christmas me the most. How is your

13
00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:11,479
Speaker 1: February going? Um? Pretty good? Feel good? Yeah? I feel good.

14
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:14,480
Speaker 1: I feel strong? Yeah, yeah good, I feel strong. I

15
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,560
Speaker 1: feel good, I feel strong and I feel good. So

16
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:21,679
Speaker 1: and now we mostly believe you feel sorry, Caroline. I

17
00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:26,040
Speaker 1: feel strong and I feel good that you don't. You don't,

18
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:31,040
Speaker 1: that's the thing. Okay, Okay, Hey there's James Ceeney, Jimmy Jinkle,

19
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,520
Speaker 1: Do tell me more about your recent experience making pizza

20
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:41,000
Speaker 1: from scratch. Oh well, it was. The truth is turned

21
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,080
Speaker 1: out as good as the Instagram picture says. It was

22
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,280
Speaker 1: the same dough that I used to make cinnamon rules,

23
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:53,240
Speaker 1: which turn out. But the problem was and the dough

24
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,400
Speaker 1: is made from scratch, so there's no frosting, there's no

25
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:58,720
Speaker 1: cinnamon a raisins in it. But there's a certain sweetness

26
00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,360
Speaker 1: that comes along with the don't want a pizza, but

27
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:05,080
Speaker 1: I'll tell you it cooked perfectly. It looked beautiful, the basil,

28
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:08,720
Speaker 1: the mozzarella was delicious. But the third problem, the second problem.

29
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,959
Speaker 1: The pasta sauce I got was spicy for the pizza sauce.

30
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,200
Speaker 1: But the spice that they didn't really let you know

31
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,720
Speaker 1: is it's like taco seasoning. So it was like taco seasoning, sauce,

32
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:22,320
Speaker 1: sweet crust, and everything else was great. So we're gonna

33
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,400
Speaker 1: try it again this week. My mom sent me and

34
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,040
Speaker 1: it hasn't arrived yet. Pizza Yeast, which I didn't even

35
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,839
Speaker 1: know was a thing. It's a name I wrestled under

36
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:43,400
Speaker 1: in the seventies, Mrs Potts a lot. After asking your

37
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:47,080
Speaker 1: parents for a pet the first time, what happened? I

38
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,760
Speaker 1: think they got me one because somebody was moving. It

39
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:54,760
Speaker 1: was a bunny name Nibbles. But then, um, it froze

40
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,680
Speaker 1: to death outside because my mom left it outside in

41
00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:06,520
Speaker 1: the winter, because your mom kept it out. Yes, lots

42
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,440
Speaker 1: of rabbits live outside through the winter, so that I

43
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:13,440
Speaker 1: don't think they're right out. Wild ones do. But and

44
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,400
Speaker 1: I wonder why they don't freeze. I have to look something.

45
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,680
Speaker 1: I just wanted to think your mom's cruel. I think

46
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,919
Speaker 1: it's an honest mistake unless it was a shape rabbit.

47
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,400
Speaker 1: And then shame shaved rabbit. I'm not saying it wasn't,

48
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,160
Speaker 1: just saying a regular rabbit. Do you see rabbits outside

49
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,280
Speaker 1: the winter all the time? Well, this one, well, I'll

50
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,560
Speaker 1: tell you this. It was frozen solid, and I remember

51
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,160
Speaker 1: I had like ship stuck to its but and you

52
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:41,560
Speaker 1: could see the frozen eyes. She made me look, she

53
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:45,280
Speaker 1: made you look, and you were how old? Thirty one?

54
00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,640
Speaker 1: I just learned the hard way. Don't google shape rabbit.

55
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:56,720
Speaker 1: She saw my wrestling pose from the eighties and last

56
00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,360
Speaker 1: but only broken heart candies for you if you think

57
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:05,320
Speaker 1: him least, it's Joey Greer loveless marriage McGee. Why today?

58
00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:10,000
Speaker 1: Because there's no tomorrow, There's never a tomorrow, And I'm

59
00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,760
Speaker 1: not saying that the sense of like, there's no tomorrow.

60
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,840
Speaker 1: I'm saying that the sense that there's no tomorrow right

61
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,320
Speaker 1: and saying if you say tomorrow in a different way,

62
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:20,760
Speaker 1: say tom right, it's it's the same word, you just

63
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,159
Speaker 1: said it differently. And if you think about that, that's

64
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,960
Speaker 1: exactly where we're at right now. It's that people are

65
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:26,840
Speaker 1: think of it. You can put any word and you

66
00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:28,960
Speaker 1: can say it differently. And that's that's that's really the

67
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,600
Speaker 1: divide that I'm seeing right now. How is the household

68
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,520
Speaker 1: people saying people saying different word let me finish, people

69
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:39,279
Speaker 1: saying different words differently. And that's that's the big problem

70
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,400
Speaker 1: because at the core of it, at the center, at

71
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:42,960
Speaker 1: the at the sweet sweet center, if you break that

72
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,520
Speaker 1: in half and you look inside and you dig out,

73
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,640
Speaker 1: because obviously when you breaking that in half, there's this

74
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:50,680
Speaker 1: thing inside there, but you remember that there's what non interrupt,

75
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:54,200
Speaker 1: the don't like the the chalky that chalky white that's

76
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:59,760
Speaker 1: in the inside. What the hell's that called? The come yes, yes, yes,

77
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:09,159
Speaker 1: and it's there's there's it's now now is the time? Yes,

78
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,400
Speaker 1: thank you? It is. All of our scene suggestions are

79
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,039
Speaker 1: gathered from your listener emails or from our patroon v

80
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:17,400
Speaker 1: i P s what's that Yes? To become a patron

81
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,640
Speaker 1: p I P A p app app supporter of the

82
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,240
Speaker 1: show and the joy exclusive content and other part just

83
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:26,240
Speaker 1: head on over to the patreon dot com slash alchemy This.

84
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,440
Speaker 1: If you'd like to submit a scene suggestion via email,

85
00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:33,880
Speaker 1: I would we condone suggection. Please write to the podcast

86
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,680
Speaker 1: at your name here at alchemy this dot com. That's

87
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:45,400
Speaker 1: your name here at scene one. It's from pet who wrote, Hey,

88
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:48,799
Speaker 1: Gang and Kevin. Specifically, I was introduced to the podcast

89
00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:52,080
Speaker 1: by my friend Spencer or as you may know him,

90
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:57,760
Speaker 1: Samma paint Ye, as an improviser in the San Diego

91
00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:05,080
Speaker 1: area San Diego scene. He wrote, that's weird. I feel

92
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:09,120
Speaker 1: I feel violated. I have just been enthralled with seeing

93
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:15,120
Speaker 1: oh and thralled uh he's canceled this guy's cancer, enthralled

94
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,720
Speaker 1: with seeing how other improvisers work and everyone has their

95
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:22,960
Speaker 1: own special brand of comedy brand. I have been doing

96
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:34,440
Speaker 1: the meticulous task of meticulous test catching him, but every

97
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,760
Speaker 1: single episode since you started. In that time, I got

98
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:42,040
Speaker 1: a girlfriend who gladly listens alongside me. High page suggestion

99
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:46,240
Speaker 1: time sure it is. Anyone in South San Diego will

100
00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:50,680
Speaker 1: collaborate this story. But every day at six pm ish,

101
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:54,359
Speaker 1: a flock of thousands of crows flies overhead and heads

102
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:58,599
Speaker 1: to the west. It's true, I've seen it. My girlfriend

103
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:02,040
Speaker 1: had never seen anything like it before, since she's from

104
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,920
Speaker 1: North San Diego. We came up with this game that

105
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:09,080
Speaker 1: every crop I'm like a third of the way through.

106
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,600
Speaker 1: We came up with this game every crow we see,

107
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,760
Speaker 1: he is out to get us and keep a mafia

108
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,640
Speaker 1: like hold on South San Diego. So in short, no,

109
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:25,200
Speaker 1: no too late, a family just traveling through happens upon

110
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:28,040
Speaker 1: a town where the crows secretly run the place and

111
00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:33,000
Speaker 1: everyone just obey that. Thanks in advance, lovingly yours, p

112
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,440
Speaker 1: D and page PS just cut up with the gag

113
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,960
Speaker 1: that Joey eats his own come is that's still a thing?

114
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:45,440
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, baby, Oh honey, look look at that little shop.

115
00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:50,040
Speaker 1: We should stop that. Okay, okay, we're a little behind,

116
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:53,520
Speaker 1: but I think we should stop. It's a really cute town.

117
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,960
Speaker 1: You're driving, so you can do you want to pull

118
00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:01,000
Speaker 1: the car over? I'm thinking about we passed behind us.

119
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:11,400
Speaker 1: Now I'm gonna make a sweet hueie. Oh that's it's

120
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:16,880
Speaker 1: a nice curb. Do you have any change for the meter? Yeah?

121
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,840
Speaker 1: I have here. The quarters are in the glove compartment.

122
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,800
Speaker 1: So here you are you all doing here? Sorry, we

123
00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:25,520
Speaker 1: have to roll down the window. What the hell are

124
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:34,280
Speaker 1: y'all doing here? Sorry? Serry, you're on mute. So funny? Um, sorry,

125
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,880
Speaker 1: we my husband, so funny. We just wanted to look

126
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:40,400
Speaker 1: at that tiny little shop over there on my shop

127
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:47,520
Speaker 1: right there, yea Earl's Magic and things. You're earl, I'm earle.

128
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,079
Speaker 1: What are you doing across the street? Earl? Well, I'd

129
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,160
Speaker 1: like to look at my shop from a distance, admire

130
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,200
Speaker 1: what I have created with my two hands. Wow, that's

131
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,960
Speaker 1: living in the present. The only shop that's not run

132
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:01,680
Speaker 1: by there's goddamn crows say, sound like you said crows. Well,

133
00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,400
Speaker 1: I gotta sail on beef jerky, I gotta sail on

134
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,959
Speaker 1: wind chimes and all these other knick knacks are just go.

135
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:12,160
Speaker 1: You said it's a magic shop. Oh yeah, oh yeah,

136
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:15,520
Speaker 1: I got bottled watered gatorade. I make sandwiches, you name it.

137
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:21,080
Speaker 1: Panini's just discovered that Bentley. Leave those people alone. Get

138
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:24,240
Speaker 1: out of here, get scooped, get out of here. I'm

139
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:28,079
Speaker 1: so sorry, folks. He's our crown, our crown, our town

140
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:32,920
Speaker 1: crazy but crown. Oh yeah, I just had to shoo

141
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:38,680
Speaker 1: him away by welcome. Well. Thanks. Hi. We're just passing

142
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:41,960
Speaker 1: through and saw that shop over there, that magic shop. Yeah,

143
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:45,480
Speaker 1: I'm Earl of Earl's Magic and Things. So who was

144
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,240
Speaker 1: that again? We were just bently he's the town crazy.

145
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,840
Speaker 1: Oh that's he mentioned the crow thing to you? By

146
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:55,720
Speaker 1: any chance, he said, crows, But I thought it was

147
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:59,400
Speaker 1: some sort of um slur. So it was, it was,

148
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,800
Speaker 1: And that's why we don't We don't want them around. Okay,

149
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:06,120
Speaker 1: I'm around, so coming in, coming in, din witty, you

150
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:11,800
Speaker 1: leave those people alone. You, Oh my god, that means

151
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:16,800
Speaker 1: getting chases from the crown of my head and the

152
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:24,200
Speaker 1: taser hold on this on this town's crown tazy. Okay,

153
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,800
Speaker 1: And I'm Earl and that's my magic shop. I'm sorry.

154
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,360
Speaker 1: I just you have to understand that my husband and

155
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,040
Speaker 1: are confused. Were in a very long journey from south

156
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:39,199
Speaker 1: to North San Diego and um and um was you're

157
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,640
Speaker 1: the third person who said you've owned this magic shop.

158
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:54,080
Speaker 1: Here we having your store open. We said you can't

159
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:59,920
Speaker 1: so magic And I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Mr. Crow, please

160
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:07,560
Speaker 1: please don't hurt my family. Never, I'll chase myself. I'll

161
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:12,920
Speaker 1: chase myself, Oh my god, chasing himself. Honey, Maybe we

162
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:16,360
Speaker 1: don't get out of the car. I think it's a yeah.

163
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,480
Speaker 1: And then I said three dollars for this lot. Yeah,

164
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:25,520
Speaker 1: I'll take it. No more wine? So how was San Diego? Oh? Man?

165
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,160
Speaker 1: It was the craziest thing I've ever seen? Actually, I

166
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,800
Speaker 1: mean that side of San Diego. I don't reckon, huh

167
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:37,000
Speaker 1: south side? Yeah right, it's down just one most blue

168
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:42,320
Speaker 1: of wine. No more wine. We're fine, driple of wine

169
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,800
Speaker 1: for either. We're fine. We're fine, Okay, Jimmy, if you

170
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,120
Speaker 1: don't mind, I would like to see what a splue is?

171
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:53,360
Speaker 1: Your cop up? Hold you cup up? Yep, yep, just

172
00:11:53,400 --> 00:12:01,880
Speaker 1: a splue? Who are you cool? You drink? That's that's what.

173
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:05,600
Speaker 1: It's the only way to measure a spous without being

174
00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:14,200
Speaker 1: behind the ball. That guy is sore. I think that's

175
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:17,360
Speaker 1: just the check. Thanks. What is up with that guy?

176
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,280
Speaker 1: I don't know, but he would have fit right in

177
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:22,199
Speaker 1: South San Diego. I can tell you that. Jeez. Nothing

178
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,400
Speaker 1: but what I tell you I did even get out

179
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:25,760
Speaker 1: of the car. This Oh my gosh, this is what's

180
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:27,559
Speaker 1: happened North San Diego. Stuff like this. That's why I'm

181
00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:31,000
Speaker 1: buying up all these lots. That's why. Right you're telling

182
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,880
Speaker 1: me about the lots. What are you gonna do with them? Well,

183
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:39,520
Speaker 1: I'm buying these lots and I'm converting them into the

184
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:43,720
Speaker 1: modern apartments. But here's the kicker, there's no partets in there. Sorry,

185
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:47,920
Speaker 1: pretty much. I'm just are you do you buy lots? Yes?

186
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,439
Speaker 1: I do one. I can just tell by your watch.

187
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,840
Speaker 1: Is that is that an omega? Yes? It is on

188
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:57,600
Speaker 1: both sides? Wow? Holy do you? I just I just

189
00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,320
Speaker 1: find a lots buying so fascinating. Do you mind if

190
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:04,439
Speaker 1: I just listen in? Thank you? What's your name? Wow?

191
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:08,080
Speaker 1: I'd rather not say okay, you're just on toime. I

192
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,800
Speaker 1: was about to bring the check. Can I offer you

193
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,480
Speaker 1: a spoons of wine? You know what? I'm gonna cover there?

194
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:16,040
Speaker 1: Whatever they had here? Take this guy? Are you sure

195
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,200
Speaker 1: we had a lot? No problem? So tell me about

196
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:21,000
Speaker 1: these lots, I mean we should. Can you bring me

197
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:25,439
Speaker 1: one more steak and lobster? I'll do the same. I'll

198
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:29,040
Speaker 1: do a lobster and steak, So tell me my sticks too. Lobsters?

199
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,520
Speaker 1: You know what area of San Diego you buying these

200
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:35,520
Speaker 1: lots in? I mean San Diego obviously, okay, and like

201
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,640
Speaker 1: how and like you right on the border of north

202
00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:41,160
Speaker 1: and south. You just keep far north, just so fascinated

203
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:45,840
Speaker 1: by these lots. Yeah about the big lot you bought.

204
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:53,200
Speaker 1: Just I just bought a lot that's uh sixteen acres. Mhm.

205
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:57,360
Speaker 1: Did you need any informisition for that? Oh? Yeah I did,

206
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,320
Speaker 1: Oh yes I did. Yeah, who I mean I had

207
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,880
Speaker 1: to buy it? Yeah? And then and who's who's permission

208
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:07,240
Speaker 1: did you get? Well? The owner of the lot? Oh,

209
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,560
Speaker 1: who's that? I just love lots. They're fascinating to me.

210
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:13,160
Speaker 1: Who who who's that lot? It's just some old lady.

211
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:29,320
Speaker 1: You know. You got in there real quick. What's happening?

212
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,200
Speaker 1: Get out of San Diego, man, get of San Diego

213
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:39,480
Speaker 1: right now, by the order of the crows. Oh that guy?

214
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:44,720
Speaker 1: Just I meane, like a dozen, I don't know if

215
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:48,520
Speaker 1: a thousand, because it doesn't matter, doesn't matter. I'm back

216
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:55,320
Speaker 1: and in my card. Sure he's okay, it's I haven't

217
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:59,640
Speaker 1: charged this charge kee the car, just a couple of montes.

218
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:04,120
Speaker 1: I've been to rush this order given the card. Hi, sir,

219
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,520
Speaker 1: this is an American Express. We just saw a strange

220
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:11,760
Speaker 1: order on that charge. Uh it's from Mr Crow from

221
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:18,680
Speaker 1: Crow Enterprises. Is that correct? Oh, it's just this is

222
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,240
Speaker 1: American Express. I said that when I picked up the phone.

223
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:28,960
Speaker 1: I'm the manager at the boota. Did you card decline

224
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,680
Speaker 1: the charges? Because I assure you that there was several sticks,

225
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:37,800
Speaker 1: several lobsters, mini splices point. Okay, let me just go

226
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:41,640
Speaker 1: over your resume. I mean, we certainly need a waiter

227
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:45,520
Speaker 1: here at the restaurant right away. Oh, Royal Shakespearean Theater.

228
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,680
Speaker 1: Not very long. In fact, I only in turns. I

229
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:54,040
Speaker 1: never got to really put foot on steach, as they

230
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:57,200
Speaker 1: call it, never got foot on steach. Right. Where are

231
00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:02,800
Speaker 1: you from? Originally from the North Side to Chicago? Uh right.

232
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,760
Speaker 1: You probably noticed it in the accent. Yeah. Yeah, that's

233
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,560
Speaker 1: what I wanted to talk to you about, because here

234
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:13,000
Speaker 1: in North San Diego people are very used to a

235
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:18,600
Speaker 1: chill vibe and coming off a little intense. Yeah, a

236
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:23,800
Speaker 1: little little hoity toity, a little head master. Head master

237
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:30,920
Speaker 1: is okay, what if I excuse me, I want to

238
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:32,760
Speaker 1: put on the floor. I'm gonna put you on the

239
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,320
Speaker 1: floor for one day, just see how it goes. You

240
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:40,120
Speaker 1: won't regret this. Okay, good luck. Sorry, let me say

241
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:43,360
Speaker 1: that cool again. You won't regret this. Yeah, that's a

242
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:47,800
Speaker 1: little more chill cool. Um. Yeah, I'm sorry. I just

243
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,520
Speaker 1: understood that I could order from you, and you keep

244
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,960
Speaker 1: reciting this monologue at me. So I just really want

245
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:58,280
Speaker 1: the cobs salad with um the stick on the side, please,

246
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:02,960
Speaker 1: Cobb with soups, the steak where with the steak with

247
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,760
Speaker 1: your school him. No. See now it seems like you're

248
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,200
Speaker 1: including my order in your monologue, and I just write

249
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:16,000
Speaker 1: it down. That's to get that order. I'm gonna go

250
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:20,200
Speaker 1: grab that and it'll be back to you people. I don't.

251
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:24,199
Speaker 1: I don't trust that he actually took anything down. And

252
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:30,480
Speaker 1: he sounds like an idiot anyway, So you're so yeah,

253
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:35,399
Speaker 1: and the dog was shot stomach? Sorry? Sorry did you

254
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:40,440
Speaker 1: just to the dog? Yeahh my gosh, what happened to

255
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:45,080
Speaker 1: the dog? We're good? Actually? So yea quick no sorry.

256
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,040
Speaker 1: The seven says all the time you always get hit

257
00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:49,480
Speaker 1: on because no, no, no, no, I just I love.

258
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,640
Speaker 1: I'm a dog lover. I dog lover, sue me. I don't.

259
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,879
Speaker 1: I don't believe you. We don't. We don't want you

260
00:17:54,000 --> 00:18:01,159
Speaker 1: to stick here. Okay, well I'm here anyway, so you

261
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,720
Speaker 1: feel what what's I feel uncomfortable? And there's also shout

262
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,840
Speaker 1: then a lot of like violent crimes happening here, people

263
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:15,919
Speaker 1: getting shop why blank in restaurants and like, okay, okay,

264
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:22,960
Speaker 1: I feel I'm not wanted here. I'm not. It feels

265
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:27,400
Speaker 1: it feels. So I'm gonna excuse me you, Mr crew,

266
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,280
Speaker 1: What do you want? First of all, you're not allowed

267
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,159
Speaker 1: here anymore. Just take my card. Take my card I

268
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:35,000
Speaker 1: got I'm gonna come get this card away plenty. I

269
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:38,360
Speaker 1: got a big car that check. Take the cards. Take

270
00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:46,640
Speaker 1: when it's like a million crow, it's oh my god,

271
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:52,560
Speaker 1: it's twelve what's twelve crows? Why do you keep yelling

272
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:56,199
Speaker 1: a million? Ma'am? Why are you coming over to our table?

273
00:18:56,520 --> 00:19:01,560
Speaker 1: We're having a broad conversation. Tried the frozen rabbit. I'm

274
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:05,240
Speaker 1: just curious. No, I don't even see on the menu.

275
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:13,239
Speaker 1: Did you bring them to tupperware? Hey, bossa, I need

276
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:17,440
Speaker 1: I need a new beat. That restaurant is not. I

277
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:23,480
Speaker 1: need something more. I need something more. Well, well, I

278
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,159
Speaker 1: think you're doing a good job. Look at how how

279
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:29,480
Speaker 1: much we have control on this side of that. I

280
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,400
Speaker 1: know but I want a bigger job, some people more danger.

281
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,920
Speaker 1: Just scaring people at a restaurant isn't doing it for

282
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:39,200
Speaker 1: me anymore. All right to a job, I don't we

283
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:49,520
Speaker 1: expand expand to Mexico. And that scene one, I love

284
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:52,560
Speaker 1: that the crow was just the waiter with a phlegm problem.

285
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,680
Speaker 1: That was so sight accent for the crow. Oh funk,

286
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:05,960
Speaker 1: that was awesome. I love the crow scene too. Comes

287
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 1: to us from Alcamaniac, will who wrote M The Long One.

288
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:15,000
Speaker 1: Dear Alchemists, It's William Morris here, Yes, the exact one

289
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:17,840
Speaker 1: you're thinking of, And I want Mr Chris Alvarado audition

290
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,919
Speaker 1: for an upcoming role. Just kidding. It's William Moors from

291
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,159
Speaker 1: upstate St. Louis. Had to mix it up as this

292
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:27,760
Speaker 1: is my sixth scene suggestion to make it to air.

293
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,720
Speaker 1: That's right, suck it and I'm just not famous or

294
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:35,399
Speaker 1: funny enough to keep ripping off Granddad Pollock what? And

295
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,160
Speaker 1: I just wanted Chris to be happy, even if it's

296
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:44,560
Speaker 1: just for a second. It works. He went inside your

297
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 1: soul a little. Anyways, I'm going to get a little

298
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 1: dark here too late, but I need you guys with

299
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,920
Speaker 1: me on this one. My dad had a stroke and

300
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:56,040
Speaker 1: didn't recognize what was happening, and thus didn't get to

301
00:20:56,119 --> 00:21:01,040
Speaker 1: the hospital until sixteen all caps fucking hours later. To

302
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,760
Speaker 1: make a long story short er, he spent a few

303
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 1: months in hospitals and rehabs and now's in a nursing

304
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,480
Speaker 1: home or I have no idea when I'll be able

305
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 1: to see him in person again. And it's just been,

306
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,879
Speaker 1: as one would expect, really fucking hard on me and

307
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:18,680
Speaker 1: my family. Alchemy, this has been carrying me through. I

308
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:23,679
Speaker 1: have literally listened to your whole catalog on repeat for months.

309
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 1: You guys have been instrumental in keeping my sanity and

310
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 1: not crumbling under the way of caring for my sister,

311
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,399
Speaker 1: keeping up with work, and all the other boats, all

312
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,639
Speaker 1: the other ship that's happened between August and now, from

313
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 1: the bottom of my heart, thank you. I love you all,

314
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,200
Speaker 1: and I owe you all so much. But I'll pay

315
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:48,240
Speaker 1: it back twenty five bucks a month, as all alchemyniacs do. Um. Okay,

316
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:50,680
Speaker 1: that got long, but I needed to say it since

317
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:54,919
Speaker 1: laughing at a shit suation is the best way to cope.

318
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 1: Look away, James, A person Joey please in denial about

319
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:04,640
Speaker 1: Alee actively having a stroke. Ps James, if you see

320
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 1: sparks one oh three on twitch or in the cast, hang,

321
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 1: that's me much love alchemy that ship? Yeah, give me

322
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:23,280
Speaker 1: another piece of that's steaking lobster. You've had five steaks

323
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 1: and two lobsters already, Sir, what are you saying? Well,

324
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 1: we don't have a policy about cutting people off from food,

325
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 1: But then what are you doing to me? This is

326
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 1: just me as a human being saying it's not What

327
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 1: do you think I am? Uh? You're thinking a piece

328
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 1: of third wrapped in some kind of other piece of

329
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,200
Speaker 1: ship floating down a ship river. Uh you're thinking what

330
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 1: piece of ship? Half of your face just froze? Yeah

331
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:51,920
Speaker 1: I did, because I'm looking at an asshole. What that

332
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 1: you're pishing me off? My chest is hurting your pieces

333
00:22:57,359 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 1: of ship? Okay, all right, so another lobster tail? And uh?

334
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,399
Speaker 1: And what kind of steak? I don't know. Something I

335
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 1: can use my left hand with because my right and

336
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:08,120
Speaker 1: it acted up. Because you're such a piece of ship.

337
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 1: I think you might be having a stroke part of me,

338
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:15,239
Speaker 1: Doctor Dodctor High. Sorry to interrupt your your dinner break, um,

339
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 1: but we need you. Yeah, I'm a you got a problem.

340
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,360
Speaker 1: With that. He's a surgeon, he's the best surgeon in Illinois.

341
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,400
Speaker 1: He's having a stroke. He should he should be recognizing

342
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 1: these symptoms. I think having a stroke. Okay, I'm a

343
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 1: steak part center and that's what up. Okay, all right, listen, dr.

344
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 1: We have that very important surgery schedule for now, and

345
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 1: it's an emergency. But don't be vague about it. Just

346
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 1: get to it. Tell me what's going on. It's the

347
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 1: one with the high profile person who's getting the high

348
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 1: profile cuts done to them. All right, it's a celebrity

349
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 1: who's getting an augmentation done. But it needs to happen

350
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,080
Speaker 1: now because they have a big event tomorrow. What needs

351
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 1: to happen is his own surgery for the stroke he's

352
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 1: having to Look. Look, I'm not having a stroke, so

353
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,720
Speaker 1: we're certain that there could be no problems. I just

354
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,399
Speaker 1: want a good a vasectomy. I don't want to be

355
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 1: able to have any children, so I just want to

356
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 1: get this to be really low key. A problem with

357
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,719
Speaker 1: children having children. No, it's just that I like to party.

358
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 1: I've got a big event tomorrow and I just don't

359
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,400
Speaker 1: want to party. So you'd like us to cut into

360
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 1: your private I just want a quick little As I've

361
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:45,240
Speaker 1: been told, these are very simple snips that SIPs. You

362
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:48,720
Speaker 1: heard the words snips. Hi, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

363
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 1: I know, I'm I'm just work at the front desk

364
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 1: of the hospital. I just want to come in. I'm

365
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,679
Speaker 1: gonna say I am such a big fan of yours,

366
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 1: Mr Kit Linda, I love what do It's inappropriate? Sorry,

367
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 1: I know, I'm so sorry. Um, you're You're sorry. I'm sorry, Linda.

368
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 1: Can you maybe return to your post? Yeah, I just

369
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,359
Speaker 1: want to say I love your work. I'll be at

370
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:20,160
Speaker 1: your movie Paran tomorrow. I gotta take it. Okay, great? Um,

371
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 1: okay you wanna do you want to give him your number?

372
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 1: I mean, how far has we taken? This? Is this

373
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 1: a joker? Real? Because I'm going to do it. Dude.

374
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,399
Speaker 1: You're gonna love him. Man, this place is sick. Everyone

375
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,360
Speaker 1: loves the party. Man. Everyone's gonna fill each other up. Dude.

376
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 1: They all got vasectomies, all right. There's so no worries

377
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:41,399
Speaker 1: because we love the party. Man. Everyone knows if you

378
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 1: like the party to get filled. So it's a part

379
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 1: of I mean no kid parties kind of thing saying d'

380
00:25:53,359 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 1: gonna love it fuck it will, no condoms, no no children.

381
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 1: Oh hey, honey, I Linda your home. How was the

382
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 1: office today? Oh my god, it was amazing. Brad Pitt

383
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:12,040
Speaker 1: was there. I gave him my number, and then he

384
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,440
Speaker 1: did kind of ask me to go to, like, h

385
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 1: what he described as a really fun filler up party,

386
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:22,960
Speaker 1: which I can only understand me just getting absolutely filled

387
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:33,920
Speaker 1: to the brim with come. So I was a good day.

388
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:40,200
Speaker 1: How are the kids? How thank you for no? Oh

389
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 1: my god, no so much. Hi, sweetie, you want see

390
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 1: my drawing? I would love to. Oh my god, honey,

391
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:56,959
Speaker 1: that it's dark. It's a bunny. It's a frozen bunny.

392
00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 1: You can see I see the um Wow, it looks

393
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 1: like it like almost bled out before it froze. Uh huh,

394
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:11,160
Speaker 1: all this blood captules exploded part of me? Mr Pitt.

395
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:17,119
Speaker 1: M I know you're in this hotel, uh, making the

396
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:21,119
Speaker 1: opening hotel room to a stranger. I just I didn't

397
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:24,160
Speaker 1: order any room service. It's not room service. Look, I'm

398
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 1: gonna I'll just talk to you to the door step,

399
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 1: far enough away from the door so I can see

400
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 1: what you look like. Okay, you armed to turn around? Armed? No? No,

401
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 1: I mean I'm a pretty big celebrities. I'm not just

402
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 1: gonna let anybody in here. All right, let me, I'll

403
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:42,400
Speaker 1: open the door. Thank you. What do you need? Um?

404
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 1: I understand you're having a party tomorrow night. Yeah, a

405
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 1: filler up party. I I am who told you this?

406
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:55,639
Speaker 1: This is kind of like party from my movie Premier.

407
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 1: I'm not here to bust you on that. Just well,

408
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: my wife will be in attendance, and she's under the

409
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 1: impression that you're gonna you're gonna fill her to the brim.

410
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 1: Oh my god, come inside, come inside. That's what you're

411
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 1: my wife. I don't think you realized this is not

412
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 1: as big a deal as you think I'm getting. Do

413
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 1: you realize what you just said? Yeah? Just step inside,

414
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 1: my I know, come inside, Come step inside. Come, I'm

415
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:25,439
Speaker 1: about to tell you a secret. To tell you a secret. Okay, okay,

416
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 1: I'm getting a vissectomy. I'm getting it snipped. I'm gonna

417
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 1: fill her up. But there's no babies coming. It's just

418
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,959
Speaker 1: it's just sex. It's you know what. Here. You can

419
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 1: come to the filler up party too, but but come

420
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: you get a vasectomy first, because that's how we pardoned.

421
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 1: Holy shit, Wow, Mr Pitt thank you so much for

422
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 1: coming in to the precinct today. I'm so sorry again

423
00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 1: about the robbery. Um, forgive me. I'm a big fan

424
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 1: and I've seen a lot of your work, So that's

425
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 1: what's driving this question, um, instead of theft, Is it

426
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:15,200
Speaker 1: possible that you just lost your Oscar award, that you

427
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 1: just misplaced it? No, and I'm thinking of your your

428
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:26,160
Speaker 1: character specifically from True Romance, and of course, uh well,

429
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 1: a few of you realize that what I'm playing those

430
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 1: characters that's not at all like me. I do. But

431
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 1: I've also heard, because I listen, that you like the

432
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:42,440
Speaker 1: weed in real life. So again I'm gonna pose the question,

433
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 1: is it possible you just lost your candy? Let's call

434
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 1: it possible, but not plausible. It's an Oscar. I carry

435
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 1: it with me a lot, carry you with you. Hold on,

436
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 1: let me just write there. You carry from room to

437
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 1: room in your house, typically not in my house, but

438
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 1: when I go out, I like to have it in

439
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,080
Speaker 1: in that's I keep it in the pant leg like

440
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 1: you could maybe hide a forty If you're trying to

441
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 1: sneak out of a gas station or whatever, you know,

442
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 1: you put it in your pant legs so you can

443
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 1: take it out at a party. Do you like the party? Well,

444
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'd like to maybe spend a little more

445
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 1: time on the forty in the pant leg. Come over here,

446
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 1: look at Wallace. Man's playing really bad cop towards over there.

447
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 1: Check this out? You know what, let's let's can you

448
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:38,240
Speaker 1: hear me? He doesn't realize I have the two ameer

449
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 1: Mike on, Um, Wow, that's weird. So so you're you're

450
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,719
Speaker 1: saying you carry your oscar in your pant leg when

451
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 1: you leave the house. I tuck it into my sock

452
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 1: and I pulled my pant legs so it covers my

453
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 1: shoe if I need to. I mean, you always hear

454
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 1: that this is like an efficient this two week mirrors

455
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 1: usually a thought done for like in the movie seven

456
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 1: So used to Sorry, it's a one way mirror, two

457
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:09,719
Speaker 1: way Mike, he can he can hear me? I can

458
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 1: hear I can hear you too. Listen. I can't take

459
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:19,239
Speaker 1: too long with Hey. Yeah, some of the guys had

460
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 1: a bet going what was in the box? I mean,

461
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 1: did Larry Did some of you guys who were making

462
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 1: that bet not see the end of the film. No,

463
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 1: I've seen everything. I've seen seven up to the last

464
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 1: ten minutes, up to the up to the line what's

465
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 1: in the box? And then I stopped watching. Sure that

466
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 1: makes sense. Honestly, they never said in my lines, I

467
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 1: don't know what it was. The box that I was

468
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 1: handed on set was empty. Okay, so there we go up.

469
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 1: But Mr Pitt, to be fair, you did then look

470
00:31:56,280 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 1: into the box and then shoot the Kevin Space character? Yeah?

471
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: I have no idea. It was a really big character change.

472
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 1: I was a hero the whole time that looked in

473
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 1: this empty box on set and then shot at Kevin

474
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 1: Spacey dude. Once we get through this bartending class, we're

475
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 1: gonna have access to all the hottest bars and all

476
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:17,760
Speaker 1: the hottest parties going on in l a aut Right. Okay,

477
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 1: So I'm sorry. Are we supposed to bring our own

478
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 1: steaks or will these steaks be provided for us? Hello?

479
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 1: Am I going on? I'm sorry? I walked away. I

480
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:34,479
Speaker 1: walked away. Um, I had to answer a call. You will, Uh,

481
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 1: the restaurant will provide the stakes for you, and then

482
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 1: as a steak bartender, you're responsible for bartending those steaks

483
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 1: to your customers. Okay. Uh? Um, So I believe the

484
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 1: first A. Right, what was that call about pretty? You

485
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 1: look pretty frazzled? You're right? Um, no, I'm fine. This

486
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 1: is um. I gotta keep work. This is my job,

487
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 1: and I have some personal stuff going on. Um it's nothing, um,

488
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 1: but this is you need to just keep serving the steak. Okay,

489
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 1: no matter what people say, if they say they don't

490
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:16,040
Speaker 1: want steak anymore, if they say that the steak is

491
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 1: not good enough for them, if they say that the

492
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 1: steak um, you know, maybe gotten to a car accident

493
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 1: and you know, killed some steaks. So that I think

494
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 1: we'll give you enough. That's enough direction, I think for

495
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,960
Speaker 1: you to use the rest of the class. Okay, so

496
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,719
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be over the hair. If you have any questions,

497
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,280
Speaker 1: let me know. But let's just see you guys complete

498
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: your assignment. Okay, they controve and kill you guys. You

499
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 1: guys here for the party. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah I

500
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 1: got the password. Yeah I get this you guys. Yeah yeah,

501
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 1: we got a pass with you snips. Okay, that's an

502
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:02,240
Speaker 1: old password, but all over it. I got a different

503
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 1: password if you want to. Yeah, I'd love to hear you.

504
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:09,480
Speaker 1: Reptiles and winter sleep better than they would if it

505
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 1: was too hot out. Okay, that's that's not a password. Yeah,

506
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 1: oh well what did I say? What did that act?

507
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:25,120
Speaker 1: Grammy access to? Uh? You get you get one free

508
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:27,719
Speaker 1: frozen younger, and I give you a ride of up

509
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 1: to five miles. Ride of up to five miles. That

510
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:37,359
Speaker 1: means he has access to you also, and that would

511
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:38,880
Speaker 1: be a good time to use any password you have,

512
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:44,439
Speaker 1: if you have any more. Okay, I mean it looks

513
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 1: it's like several dozen people standing around doors here. I

514
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 1: bet if you just damn bet, if we just start

515
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,560
Speaker 1: rattling of password, you I have access to a fantastic

516
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,239
Speaker 1: world of underground. Try let's see what opens up. So far,

517
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:58,800
Speaker 1: you're getting banged for like five certificate that you have

518
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 1: a vasectomy and of vicep for me. Okay, Mr pitt

519
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:09,879
Speaker 1: we Um, you're all prepped for the surgery. Now. I've

520
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:11,879
Speaker 1: got a party coming soon, so it's got a deal

521
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 1: before tonight. The doctors here. Um. Some people are saying

522
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:20,320
Speaker 1: he is an odd he's in an odd Well, I

523
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 1: got to say, surgeon, and the best of the best

524
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:27,279
Speaker 1: are typically a little quirky, eccentric, right, that's right now

525
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:32,320
Speaker 1: here he comes. I always you this friend. Thank you, doctor,

526
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 1: doctor do this. Let's do this. Okay, um uh must

527
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 1: be the doctor. Yeah, all right, we're gonna keep you

528
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 1: awake for this. Okay, I'd really rather be Oh porter

529
00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 1: rare lobster tale, that's me. That's me. Spin Can we

530
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 1: get this copl Can we get a tape to my

531
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 1: right hand? This is a state knife. That's the best

532
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:21,839
Speaker 1: as close as you can get. Oh, good morning, Linda.

533
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:28,320
Speaker 1: How is your night? Oh my god, it was amazing, Babe.

534
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 1: I wish I guess I don't wish you were there,

535
00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 1: but I wish you could have seen it. You know

536
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 1: what I mean. I had to just good money, hey,

537
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 1: truck d our collars, because I want to tell you something.

538
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:44,800
Speaker 1: I could have been there, Okay, I couldn't, but I

539
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:47,920
Speaker 1: chose not to go. You need a vasectomy and a bisectomy.

540
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 1: You don't have either one of those. Honey, he invited me. Okay,

541
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 1: that's all I'm saying. I chose to be home with

542
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:55,439
Speaker 1: the kids. So I hope you had a good time.

543
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:57,920
Speaker 1: I did have a great time. Do you really want

544
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:02,280
Speaker 1: to hear about it? Yeah? I got plugged and tugged

545
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:04,719
Speaker 1: from every corner that you can even imagine. I have

546
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:12,800
Speaker 1: and that has seen too. I just didn't want the

547
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 1: kids to hear. The rest of that. Scene three comes

548
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 1: from a damn fine fella who works at I Heart

549
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 1: Radio name Justin. Justin actually sent me an email asking

550
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 1: they always run these potential sponsors by me. One was

551
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:37,920
Speaker 1: about golf and the other was about a stomach medicine

552
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 1: and I said, I am, I play golf and I

553
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 1: have stomach issues and they're not exclusive. And he said,

554
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:50,759
Speaker 1: that's my scene suggestion for algem this, so we have

555
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 1: a professional golfer has intense stomach issues shortly after starting

556
00:37:54,200 --> 00:38:00,479
Speaker 1: a tournament. From just and up next on the tim

557
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 1: as he approaches the fourth tea, Uh, Joey Greenstein seems

558
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 1: to be struggling a little bit just putting the tea

559
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 1: into the grass. It's one of the most basic components

560
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:18,719
Speaker 1: of golf. Tim Uh. To not be able to tee

561
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 1: up your ball means that he is really struggling out there.

562
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,480
Speaker 1: Something is a miss. Let's uh, let's keep an eye

563
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 1: on that. As he uh always got to tay in

564
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 1: the grass. Well, that's good. He appears to be selecting

565
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 1: a seven iron. This is a par five that is

566
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 1: an unusual choice. Joe Inser Candy, Dude, I don't think

567
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:42,399
Speaker 1: you should do a seven iron. You're acting a little weird, dude.

568
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:47,759
Speaker 1: Oh god, Okay, it's fine. Hey, hey, if you're not okay, man,

569
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:52,440
Speaker 1: you can tell me. I'm fine. Okay, I'm fine, and

570
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:55,320
Speaker 1: you want to go, I want to go. Whatever. Just

571
00:38:55,400 --> 00:39:00,080
Speaker 1: give me a fucking stick. Okay. He's doubling over as

572
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 1: if he's reeling from a filler up party he attended

573
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 1: the previous night. Something seems to have filled his stomach,

574
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:14,359
Speaker 1: that's for certain. Um, perhaps we can get well. Lynda

575
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 1: mcconky is down on the on the tea and maybe

576
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 1: we can get an update from her. Linda. Hi, guys,

577
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 1: this to me Lynda mcconky. As you can see, I

578
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:26,480
Speaker 1: am on the middle of the green and behind me,

579
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:31,280
Speaker 1: I have the uh number one golfer in the world

580
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:34,399
Speaker 1: as of last year. Uh. We'll see. He's doubling over

581
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 1: an absolute pain the whole audience spectators can hear him scream,

582
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 1: and it appears that he's just wants to get this

583
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 1: over with. UM. So right now I am being asked

584
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:51,439
Speaker 1: to step outside of the action here, so I will

585
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 1: be having to go onto the sidelines. Um. But as

586
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 1: you guys can see, um, you know he there is

587
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 1: a whole further away, which is the one he is

588
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,120
Speaker 1: aiming for in the par five course. So, as we

589
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:06,440
Speaker 1: know with golf, we have a ball that tries to

590
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:09,879
Speaker 1: get hit into the hole and it seems like our

591
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 1: star is maybe has maybe fallen from the sky. Um.

592
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 1: And then are you okay? Why do you watch this?

593
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:22,759
Speaker 1: It's just so boring. I mean, nothing happens. They hit

594
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 1: a little ball and it flies around. I don't know

595
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:29,320
Speaker 1: to stand and I just don't get it. When I

596
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 1: was younger, I used to play golf. It was like

597
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:34,319
Speaker 1: the only sport that I ever thought that I could

598
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 1: actually do that when you were younger, when you a younger,

599
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:41,160
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think I could golf just as

600
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:42,840
Speaker 1: good as I did when I was young. That's the

601
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:46,360
Speaker 1: beauty of golf. Like, of course, I couldn't play football

602
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 1: or socco basketball, or jug or or or pole vault,

603
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:55,880
Speaker 1: but I could definitely play golf, bowling, or pool or

604
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:59,400
Speaker 1: chest But I'm not smart enough. You're not young anymore, Albert,

605
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 1: all right, that's not how it works. You gotta stay

606
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 1: home with me. Tell me, tell me, Martha, what is

607
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 1: it that I need to do. That's so strong and

608
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:13,279
Speaker 1: physically fit to play golf. Swing can look at this?

609
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:17,319
Speaker 1: You can meat number one. Stop eating those steaks. These

610
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 1: steaks are delicious. Look at this this umbrella. Okay, I'm

611
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 1: gonna just hold it like this is a golf club. See,

612
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 1: I could totally be elbow just popped out of place.

613
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 1: It's that's I'm doubled. No, I'm not double jointing shit tonight, Dad,

614
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 1: can I bought a cot tonight? Tell me? You know

615
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:46,319
Speaker 1: what you got to get a job? Mom? Mom, as

616
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 1: you told me when I was younger, put a sock

617
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 1: in it. Your forties, six years old, just still living

618
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:53,719
Speaker 1: with your parents. What are you gonna get merried? Dad?

619
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 1: Nothing personal but your wife's so oh, I'm gonna kick

620
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:04,479
Speaker 1: your ass. Loves box in N two. I could mess you. Hey, Joey,

621
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,080
Speaker 1: I think she's just going to tell but you're not

622
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:10,920
Speaker 1: doing great? What do you say? Well, I just call it.

623
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,880
Speaker 1: I say, suck my ass, dude. I'm not just candy.

624
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 1: I'm your friend. Why do I need I need your pants?

625
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:24,360
Speaker 1: I just filled my pants up. I need your pants. Okay,

626
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:27,960
Speaker 1: as you guys can see from behind me, they let

627
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 1: me back on the green here is it looks like

628
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,279
Speaker 1: he is now taking off his pants that are absolutely

629
00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:40,799
Speaker 1: um killed, do not hold back, but I just got

630
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 1: you guys know, I did get fired from the official

631
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:48,360
Speaker 1: p g a uh network for my explicit coverage of

632
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 1: golf events, so I'm trying to hold it back here

633
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 1: for NBC. But um yeah, So he's switching pants with

634
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 1: the caddie who has luckily a clean pair, clean bill

635
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,800
Speaker 1: of health on those. Um yeah. So what are you

636
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 1: guys seeing from ups has to wear Joey's stained pants?

637
00:43:06,239 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 1: I would say they're more more than stained. Uh, how

638
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:13,800
Speaker 1: is that transference gonna work? Yeah? So really good questions.

639
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:17,480
Speaker 1: It doesn't seem like he has to wear the poop

640
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:20,680
Speaker 1: filled pants. You gotta wear those pants. You got to

641
00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:23,040
Speaker 1: wear those pants. What do you mean, dude? You put

642
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,719
Speaker 1: wear my ship pants? Okay, I want people to not

643
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:28,440
Speaker 1: know that I shipped my pants. And if anybody guesses,

644
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,359
Speaker 1: they think you did. All right, Hey I told you before.

645
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:38,800
Speaker 1: I'm not just your caddy and your friend. Oh god,

646
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 1: see if we can get a mic in that Linda

647
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:42,600
Speaker 1: to get some of this audio. Okay, that's right, let

648
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 1: me run up there, Hi, guys, Sorry, big fan. Which

649
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:55,680
Speaker 1: one second? All right, so you know, do you mind

650
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:58,919
Speaker 1: taking me to the uh the urgent care the pop

651
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,400
Speaker 1: this back in? Then you can just you can just

652
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:04,879
Speaker 1: take the car for the night. Yeah, that's fine with me, Dick.

653
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:08,879
Speaker 1: Come on, let's go a mom, We're gonna go now.

654
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 1: So why don't you, you know, keep this sound that

655
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 1: down low. It's all right, we're gonna You're gonna be

656
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 1: fine there. Alright, you're not taking my car. It's our car.

657
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 1: It's it's my name, Albert. We pay taxes together. That

658
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:36,319
Speaker 1: means all of our things are one. Okay, No, how

659
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 1: about dad, let me help you in the car. Come on,

660
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 1: get in the car. Than you think put on you see,

661
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 1: I can't. My elbow is like a Jesus. What's that smell?

662
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:49,239
Speaker 1: What even doing in here? Then? This is? I mean,

663
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 1: this is my car, this is your mother's car. I didn't.

664
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 1: I don't know what that smell is. That's not me.

665
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,719
Speaker 1: It's not a great smell though, Am I crazy? No,

666
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:02,640
Speaker 1: it's it's awful elst like I don't know fish feces.

667
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:06,800
Speaker 1: I was gonna say front and back, but yeah, wow,

668
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 1: So you have that cute accent and you're a golf

669
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:18,880
Speaker 1: announcer that's like so hot? Um, well, uh yeah, are

670
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 1: you Are you a gold fan? Um? I'm a youth fan. God,

671
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 1: I just said that. Well, let let me get you

672
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:30,800
Speaker 1: another one. What were you drinking? Um? Try try to,

673
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:33,799
Speaker 1: you'll drink you try to, can't to get another? Try

674
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:39,440
Speaker 1: trip for the lady. And you got it. Wow, they

675
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 1: listen to you and I'll have a New York strip

676
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:48,840
Speaker 1: in a in a tall glance. So what brings you

677
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 1: to the tuning? Oh? Oh, I don't know. Um, I

678
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:55,040
Speaker 1: just love the sport. If I'm being honest, like I'm

679
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:59,879
Speaker 1: a real what's your third favorite thing about I'd say

680
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 1: when it goes in mm hmm, when it goes all

681
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 1: the way in, when you like you're like watching it

682
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:16,319
Speaker 1: slowly approach and then it's just everyone, everyone on the ground.

683
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:19,720
Speaker 1: Right now, there she is, there's the officer arrest her circule.

684
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:22,600
Speaker 1: You're just about to get eaten by the crow herself.

685
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:32,280
Speaker 1: What you're lucky, You're lucky chasing the serial times almost

686
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:39,319
Speaker 1: about twelve crows. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to the Barnes

687
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 1: and Noble Reading Experience, where we have named authors come

688
00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:51,239
Speaker 1: and reading virtual reality experience this is yeah, that's right.

689
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 1: Today we have Um Arthur reading an excerpt from his

690
00:46:56,680 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 1: book I almost sucked twelve crows. It's turmeric. By the way,

691
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 1: it's not like the spice. You do pronounce the R

692
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 1: in my name. I almost fucked twelve carols. Please hello,

693
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:15,440
Speaker 1: author Tmeric Golf announcing now author, it's great to be

694
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 1: here at the Bonds of Noble Virtual Reality reading experience.

695
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 1: There's not just like right in front of me, you're

696
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 1: going to get hit with all five senses? Is me

697
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 1: reading excerpts from my smells like fish? That's right, I

698
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:39,919
Speaker 1: had fish. Oh that's just his breath. I have fish

699
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:43,799
Speaker 1: on my breath. I've eat nothing but fish and chips.

700
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:51,320
Speaker 1: It gets closer cheese. It's like a fit fish ship itself.

701
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 1: And now I'm going to open to a random page.

702
00:47:54,480 --> 00:48:00,560
Speaker 1: If I almost fucked twelve crows. Joey, Um, you've been

703
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:02,400
Speaker 1: doing good man. This is the last hole. It's just

704
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 1: I sweat out all of my all of my water anymore.

705
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 1: So you've got Tiger Beat by one stroke. Man, I

706
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:14,920
Speaker 1: think you can pull us off. Tiger Beat that magazine.

707
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:19,480
Speaker 1: Look at me, Look at me, look at me, delirious.

708
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:22,880
Speaker 1: You're delirious. Hey, okay, okay, all right, now what do

709
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 1: you want? What iron? Do you want? A nine millimeter? What?

710
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:33,200
Speaker 1: Huh you want? No? No, no, I'm thinking of thinking

711
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:36,759
Speaker 1: of something really interesting is happening out here. If you

712
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 1: can see Joey is in the lead, um, and you

713
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:43,759
Speaker 1: can see stripped totally naked at this point in the game,

714
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:46,960
Speaker 1: and it looks like he has instead of a golf

715
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 1: club or you know, a driver putter as most people

716
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:51,359
Speaker 1: would use here when they're this close to the hole,

717
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:55,239
Speaker 1: he's pulled out a gun. So, um, this is something

718
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 1: I've never seen before. But I'm excited. What do you

719
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:00,319
Speaker 1: guys think? What Linda, you no longer work for us?

720
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:03,080
Speaker 1: I'm not sure how how you're at a fering with

721
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 1: our signal, but but you're getting in somehow. Uh. This

722
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:11,440
Speaker 1: this is disturbing you presence here? Thank you. You have

723
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 1: got to appreciate her determination. Nonetheless, that's right, I've hacked

724
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 1: into the television waves. My brother went to college for

725
00:49:20,920 --> 00:49:24,759
Speaker 1: computer science and he helped me out. Um. So yeah,

726
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:28,759
Speaker 1: this is all shot on an iPhone. Joey, Joey, joe

727
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 1: keep that gun on your mouth, dude, just your one

728
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:34,640
Speaker 1: put away from winning this whole thing going out of

729
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:40,520
Speaker 1: your mouth. Oh my tummy. I don't mean, don't look

730
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:43,640
Speaker 1: at me, but one little put. We're going to fix

731
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 1: your But maybe okay, maybe winnings and everything, maybe it

732
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:54,279
Speaker 1: is fixes. But maybe what's important is friends. She's been

733
00:49:54,320 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 1: such a good friend to me, was chanting in a whisper. Okay,

734
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:10,400
Speaker 1: I will, I honestly can't wait till this tournament is

735
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 1: over so I can go to the bar and find

736
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:16,040
Speaker 1: a lady to fun. And that's our show for today.

737
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 1: How about that? That's right, that's how we wrap things

738
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:25,520
Speaker 1: up here. Oh man, so nice to be back in

739
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:27,960
Speaker 1: the saddle. I got to tell you. Let's thank all

740
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 1: the alchemist, shall we? Starting with smiling James Heeney. James,

741
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:34,160
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Where can folks find you in

742
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:38,000
Speaker 1: your wares Well? Every Wednesday night at eight p m

743
00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:41,680
Speaker 1: Pacific Standard time, you can catch me on Twitch dot

744
00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:45,440
Speaker 1: TV slash bs Comedy. Sure you're gonna stick with that,

745
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 1: that's fine. I mean we've gone three weeks or something

746
00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:51,480
Speaker 1: and they come back and this hasn't changed. Well, the

747
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 1: other thing I was gonna say, since we have the moment,

748
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:58,920
Speaker 1: I wanted to say thank you too. Uh duh, d

749
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:01,520
Speaker 1: you do? Oh my gosh, I don't have it up.

750
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:04,000
Speaker 1: I come back to me and I want to say

751
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:05,800
Speaker 1: thank you for I can't wait to come back to you.

752
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:09,399
Speaker 1: This has gone so well, Caroline Connor, Thank you so much.

753
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 1: What a joy to see you in the little shelf

754
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 1: behind you. Yeah, it's a good shell. I'm just covering it, okay, yep,

755
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 1: thanks for having me. Yeah. And what was the frozen

756
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:24,919
Speaker 1: rabbit's name? Did you give it a name? Nibbles? All right, nibbles? Sorry?

757
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 1: How could you forget? Apology accepted? Thank you? How could

758
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 1: I forget? Thank you for being here? We greatly appreciated.

759
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 1: And where might folks find you? In your wares on

760
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:37,840
Speaker 1: the inner weeds? Yeah? Unfortunately, I'm on Instagram at cotter

761
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 1: poop um. I also, and in my effort to be

762
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:44,759
Speaker 1: more like James, I've started a Twitch show called The

763
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:48,840
Speaker 1: Ass Carnival once a month, so check it out. I

764
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:52,400
Speaker 1: don't know, like you said, the ass, the ass like

765
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:58,920
Speaker 1: the thing on your butt? The thing right, the ass Carnival.

766
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:04,919
Speaker 1: That's right, because I can. Is there a specific time

767
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:07,600
Speaker 1: each month? But this occurs? Yeah, but I don't really

768
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:09,239
Speaker 1: know when in it? You know what I mean, it's

769
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:11,759
Speaker 1: like we did one, we're doing another. I don't really

770
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:14,400
Speaker 1: get how the internet or twitch works, so just follow

771
00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:18,239
Speaker 1: it on Twitch and then you can find out from there. Okay, okay, folks,

772
00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 1: look for Twitch dot tv Slash the Ass Carnival. That's right, beautiful.

773
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:29,040
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. When we get a review, it makes me

774
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 1: just feel so good. And this is a five star review.

775
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:34,640
Speaker 1: It says, look forward to this podcast every Tuesday and Thursday.

776
00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:37,040
Speaker 1: The cast is always great. I listen to this at

777
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:39,880
Speaker 1: work with wireless earbuds and people think I'm crazy if

778
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 1: they don't see the earbuds when I bust out laughing

779
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:44,719
Speaker 1: out of nowhere like a mental patient. Keep doing what

780
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:49,359
Speaker 1: you're doing, sincerely, Church is Chicken a d Do? That's

781
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 1: their name, is a d Do. I love the assumption

782
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:55,040
Speaker 1: that a crazy person is that happy. Um. Thank you

783
00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:57,440
Speaker 1: James for reading that, and to a d Do for

784
00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:59,800
Speaker 1: writing it. And folks, yes, we will encourage you to

785
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:04,080
Speaker 1: these right reviews on whatever platform you uh you find us. Please.

786
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:07,920
Speaker 1: Chris Avarado, thank you so much for being thank you.

787
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:12,280
Speaker 1: Just lunched a brand new podcast yesterday called The Comedy Fix.

788
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 1: I've already gotten some lovely lovely responses, especially from our alchemy,

789
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 1: this community, the people, our alchemy that were so sweet

790
00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:22,839
Speaker 1: to talk about it. Comedy Fix check it out wherever

791
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:26,719
Speaker 1: you get podcasts. We ap peer behind the curtain of

792
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:31,920
Speaker 1: comedy and performance to see what's what. That is terrific

793
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:34,680
Speaker 1: and thank you for that. Can folks find more at

794
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:38,520
Speaker 1: Chris slash Avarado dot com Chris dash Vara dot com.

795
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:41,279
Speaker 1: Sure or check out our the Instagram at the Comedy Fix.

796
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:45,960
Speaker 1: At the Comedy Fix look for that Craig Atkowski. I

797
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:50,400
Speaker 1: just downloaded two episodes of the Comedy Fix. And I

798
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:53,800
Speaker 1: also spent twenty four hours in North San Diego this

799
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:59,440
Speaker 1: week and can confirm I saw no crows north. But

800
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:06,320
Speaker 1: my dog did have her her eye removed successfully which one, Uh, Frankie,

801
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:17,399
Speaker 1: I meant her left eye. All right. I'll be by

802
00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:23,440
Speaker 1: to teach her from the sidewalk how to do Peter Falk. Great,

803
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:28,360
Speaker 1: but the surgery went well clearly. Oh it's terrific without

804
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:35,839
Speaker 1: Crow's help. Uh. And Joey German, Yes, thanks for being bad.

805
00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:38,879
Speaker 1: I know they asked you to film Morrison if you said,

806
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,360
Speaker 1: fuck them, I gotta do this and I appreciate that

807
00:54:41,719 --> 00:54:45,360
Speaker 1: that means a lot, I got, I got it, just

808
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:47,880
Speaker 1: gotta be here. You can find me at Chris Slash

809
00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:52,520
Speaker 1: Alvarado dot com put a slash instead of a dash.

810
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 1: Thank you. I got all my stuff there. Check out

811
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:57,920
Speaker 1: alchemy this Instagram and if you want to see me

812
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:00,360
Speaker 1: give thank you's out of people who have just allow me.

813
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:03,719
Speaker 1: You can go to God Bless Chim Chum on Instagram,

814
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:08,440
Speaker 1: God Bless him Chump on Instagram. All right, let's thank

815
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 1: our producer, an engineer, the stars, Mr Dougane, the fine

816
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:18,399
Speaker 1: folks that I heart media. I'm your host Kevin Pollock

817
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 1: saying I've missed you all. I love reading your missives

818
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 1: on email form or on the Patreon platform. So thank

819
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 1: you all for the love and support. Um Man oh

820
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:32,960
Speaker 1: Man is great to be with my pals again, and

821
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:36,200
Speaker 1: uh look out for each other out there a little

822
00:55:36,239 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 1: bit if you can. Please. Until next time, Hi,