1 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly 2 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:19,160 Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small 3 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:22,320 Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions 4 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:26,440 Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Hard and Bradford, 5 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or 6 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website 7 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope 8 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it 9 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship 10 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so 11 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: much for joining me for a special bonus episode of 12 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast. We'll get right into 13 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 1: the conversation after a word from our sponsors. Last week 14 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 1: marked the series finale of This Is Us. After six seasons, 15 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 1: we've said goodbye to the Pearsons. Y'all know This Is 16 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,120 Speaker 1: Us has been a TBG favorite, so we had to 17 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:28,279 Speaker 1: have one last convo to talk through our thoughts about 18 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 1: this season and the finale. Joining me again this week 19 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:36,440 Speaker 1: is Beverly Andre. Beverly is a licensed marriage and family therapist, 20 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:40,280 Speaker 1: relationship coach, and the founder of b Heart counseling services. 21 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: She and I chatted about our expectations for this season 22 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 1: some of our favorite Beth and Randall moments in the 23 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: Absolute Beauty of the Train episode. If you have thoughts 24 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,720 Speaker 1: you'd like to share about the season, please share them 25 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: with us on social media using the hashtag TBG in 26 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,400 Speaker 1: session or join us over in the Sister Circle. To 27 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:02,600 Speaker 1: continue the conversation, you can join us at community that 28 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls dot com. Here's our conversation. Thank 29 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,680 Speaker 1: you so much for being back with us today, Beverly, 30 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 1: Thank you for inviting me. I think I am now 31 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:20,079 Speaker 1: able to talk about my grief. Right. So, it feels 32 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,239 Speaker 1: like we could not let this is Us go without 33 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:26,240 Speaker 1: a proper goodbye. They've given us plenty of warning. This 34 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 1: is the last season. It's coming. We know it's going 35 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 1: to be difficult. I feel like they tried to prepare us, 36 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,080 Speaker 1: and I feel like with all of that, it's still 37 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:37,119 Speaker 1: which is very difficult. I was crying like I had 38 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 1: a loved one guy. It was wild. It was wild. 39 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 1: So what do you think Because I've seen lots of 40 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 1: people like just have very strong connections to the show, right, 41 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,000 Speaker 1: and you know, some people it's funny people have talked 42 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 1: about like not watching it, but just seeing folks talk 43 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 1: on the timeline every week about crying, and so they 44 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,919 Speaker 1: don't even know what it's about, but they know people 45 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: have been reacting strongly. So what do you think for you? 46 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 1: Was like the strong connection to This is Us and 47 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,840 Speaker 1: why it has been so difficult for the season to 48 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 1: wrap up in the show, to rep up This Is 49 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 1: Us felt effortless. It felt like you went to dinner 50 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 1: and then you overheard a couple talking about their family, 51 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,480 Speaker 1: or you know, it just felt like it was a 52 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,680 Speaker 1: part of my life, Like it wasn't anything that felt 53 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 1: like it was out of touch. I felt that anybody 54 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:31,400 Speaker 1: who watched the show that it touched on some aspect 55 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 1: of their life at some point, whether you had your 56 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,440 Speaker 1: kids are growing up and you're trying to figure out 57 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,440 Speaker 1: how to I navigate these conversations with my kids, whether 58 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 1: or not your parent who has adopted a child, maybe 59 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: adopted a child of a different ethnicity, racial background, talking 60 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 1: to your kids about relationships, what to look out for 61 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 1: in a partner. I literally feel like anybody who's anybody 62 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 1: can watch this show, no matter socio economic status, no 63 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:03,120 Speaker 1: matter racial I think background, It literally could be for everybody, 64 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 1: and I think that's what made the difference. It wasn't like, yeah, 65 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 1: this is a black show, black culture all the way. 66 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,840 Speaker 1: I mean, some people will say this is us as 67 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: because you know Beth and Randall, but it literally felt 68 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 1: like for everyone. And I think that's a testament to 69 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,719 Speaker 1: Dan Folgerman in his writer's room, Like his writer's room 70 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,279 Speaker 1: literally had everybody under the sun, you know what I mean. 71 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,520 Speaker 1: And I think when you are intentional about who you 72 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,600 Speaker 1: have on your staff writing these shows, you're able to 73 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: capture as much as a person's experience as possible because 74 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: all perspectives are represented. Yeah. I like the idea of 75 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 1: the word do you use effortless because it definitely felt 76 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:50,040 Speaker 1: like nothing was really heavy handed ever in the show, right, 77 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:51,960 Speaker 1: And so it it just feels like they were able 78 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,200 Speaker 1: to strike such a perfect chord for all of the 79 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:59,240 Speaker 1: different storylines, and like you mentioned, like so many different themes. 80 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,119 Speaker 1: I mean we've cot did you know, at least twice 81 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 1: here on the podcast, right, Like just so many beautiful 82 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:07,680 Speaker 1: themes they pulled out, and even the caregiver theme, right, 83 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 1: you know, I think in later seasons and you know, 84 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,360 Speaker 1: of course they teased it in earlier seasons, but definitely 85 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,160 Speaker 1: this season, we've seen a lot about what it looks 86 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,240 Speaker 1: like to be a caregiver and what it looks like 87 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,839 Speaker 1: between siblings and even for the person being cared for. 88 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: So I just really feel like no stone was unturned. 89 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,799 Speaker 1: And you're right. I think the diversity in the writer's 90 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 1: room really added to what we all fell in love 91 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 1: with about This Is Us, Like you can see the intentionality, 92 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:37,839 Speaker 1: like in the details from the costumes to like Mandy 93 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:43,840 Speaker 1: Moore when things in her hands, the care that goes 94 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 1: into what's being said, how it's being said, or let 95 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:51,920 Speaker 1: this be a silent moment. It was just so intentional 96 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 1: from start to finish. I remember hearing that he had 97 00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:01,040 Speaker 1: that in in mind, like from Thening with a Lot episode. 98 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,919 Speaker 1: All of those scenes were recorded like early on in 99 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 1: the series, so it's like when you know how things 100 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,360 Speaker 1: are going to finish, it's like you can be very intentional, like, Okay, 101 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,480 Speaker 1: this is my north star, this is how it's going 102 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 1: to end. Now how do we get there in a 103 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: very careful and strategic way? And I just I saw it. Yeah, 104 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 1: they did that, they did it, They did Yes, So 105 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:28,279 Speaker 1: what were your expectations coming into this last season, because again, 106 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,680 Speaker 1: you know, I think it's very difficult. In some way, 107 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 1: it's more difficult. In some way, it's easier, like when 108 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:34,960 Speaker 1: you know a series he is wrapping up, because we 109 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 1: don't always know, right, like sometimes the series just doesn't 110 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:40,279 Speaker 1: get renewed and we don't have any like closure for 111 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 1: the characters. But in this case, we did right Like 112 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: he like you mentioned, always knew it was gonna be 113 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,560 Speaker 1: six seasons. They knew how it was gonna end from 114 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:50,239 Speaker 1: the beginning, so they were able to craft the narrative 115 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,839 Speaker 1: going towards that way. But even though we knew that, 116 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:56,039 Speaker 1: what expectations did you come into this last season with? 117 00:06:56,360 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 1: I was honestly in denial, Like this series started when 118 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: I was in grad school to be a therapist two 119 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,839 Speaker 1: thousand sixteen. It was like going into my senior year, 120 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,800 Speaker 1: and I moved into my apartment by myself because my 121 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 1: roommate had left, and so I would literally, as like 122 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 1: a religious routine every Tuesday. I knew I was watching 123 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 1: this as us like that was the one time I 124 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 1: made sure I could just not focus on school and 125 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: just like lose myself into this and Queen Sugar as well. 126 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 1: That was Wednesdays, and so it was kind of like, wow, 127 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: I didn't really realize it's been that long since the 128 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 1: series has been going, and I just never thought that 129 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 1: it was going to end so quickly. I thought that 130 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 1: this is like you know, grazing. IY got a lot 131 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,240 Speaker 1: gracing that at me, like I'm a girl up these 132 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 1: characters because there's so many different pathways that it can take. 133 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: So I was in denial and I think that there's 134 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 1: been so many let downs with awesome series. And then 135 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 1: you said up finale and it's just like what I 136 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: invested my time and y'all just left me like a 137 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 1: Game of Thrones. So I'm just like, not said I 138 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:07,600 Speaker 1: was skeptic, but I was really curious, like how are 139 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 1: we going to end? And I think that there was 140 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 1: no way for me to have conceptualized this is how 141 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: this season was gonna go. There was no way. I 142 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 1: if I had a thought, it would have been completely 143 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 1: opposite of what actually happened. Yeah, so what were you 144 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,360 Speaker 1: surprised about? Because it sometimes feels hard for me to 145 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:30,680 Speaker 1: remember like what happened? What season right? And it did 146 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 1: feel like for some reason, this season felt longer, but 147 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,959 Speaker 1: it also could have been because I was anxious about 148 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,560 Speaker 1: like the last one, and so I didn't want it 149 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,840 Speaker 1: to end. But it definitely felt like in some ways 150 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:44,080 Speaker 1: this season was quieter. I didn't feel like there was 151 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 1: like as much action in a lot of ways like 152 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 1: that we've seen in some of the previous seasons, but 153 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 1: clearly very impactful. We definitely will get into like the 154 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 1: train ride, which is the penultimate before the series finalie, 155 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:02,080 Speaker 1: but I think I was both shot by the situation 156 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 1: with Toby and Kate and so I feel like they've 157 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:10,120 Speaker 1: teased that in previous seasons and when we saw that 158 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: preview of little Jack early on like being grown up 159 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,439 Speaker 1: in with his own wife and child, but we didn't 160 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 1: quite know like what surrounded it, and then of course 161 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 1: we saw what that was this season. But I think 162 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,360 Speaker 1: that was the thing that I was most shocked about 163 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:27,800 Speaker 1: this season, was like the relationship between Kate and Toby 164 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 1: ending up the way that it did. Yeah, I think 165 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,520 Speaker 1: Kate and Toby, like I think with Beth and Randall, 166 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,640 Speaker 1: they had kind of teased I think last season that 167 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 1: oh did they break up? Because it was kind of 168 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,320 Speaker 1: like wherever they said, oh, they're together, And I think 169 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,319 Speaker 1: some folks had some expectancy that that was gonna be 170 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,439 Speaker 1: the same thing, but was like, oh no, like they 171 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:49,199 Speaker 1: actually broke up, and oh no, like she remarried with Philip, 172 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,480 Speaker 1: and oh no, he found somebody else. So it wasn't 173 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,200 Speaker 1: a surprise to me necessarily, But I didn't think that 174 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,679 Speaker 1: they were not actually get divorced. I didn't think so. 175 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:05,160 Speaker 1: But I appreciated the storyline because what you see on 176 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 1: mainstream media about divorce it is nasty, it's combative, and 177 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 1: you see like the couple sitting across from each other 178 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,200 Speaker 1: at the table, as opposed to here are all the 179 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:22,000 Speaker 1: little things in the daily lives of couples that can 180 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 1: lead to the dissolution of the marriage. Right when they 181 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,840 Speaker 1: had the San Diego trip, and how they're this on 182 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 1: two opposite pages, making assumptions about what the other person 183 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:36,520 Speaker 1: is saying, not communicating like that becomes a pattern of behavior. 184 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,719 Speaker 1: And then when that becomes a pattern of behavior, it's 185 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 1: so easy to feel like your partner is your adversary 186 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 1: instead of your ally. And I think that they got 187 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,679 Speaker 1: caught up in that pattern and it just became a 188 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:52,280 Speaker 1: way of life for them. It became how they started 189 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:55,640 Speaker 1: to communicate in their marriage, and I like how it 190 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 1: was the little things because people get so caught up 191 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,560 Speaker 1: in it. Was it or was it anything like that? Like, No, 192 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 1: there's people who actually do in their marriages because they 193 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 1: are no longer in sync with each other. They are 194 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 1: no longer growing and accepting and loving that the person 195 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:17,080 Speaker 1: that they're with or someone is not showing up fully 196 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,760 Speaker 1: in their relationship because they may not feel like they 197 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 1: have the space to do so. So while I wasn't 198 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:28,319 Speaker 1: surprised that they got divorced necessarily, I was surprised at 199 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 1: how they showed it. And even when they had the 200 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 1: table scene and then after they came down and they 201 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 1: just had that laugh because they pay Whitney. It was 202 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,000 Speaker 1: Whitney called that rest and peace because that's my girl 203 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 1: there in the elevator. And then we think that's gonna 204 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,960 Speaker 1: be the moment where like, okay, they're good, they go 205 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 1: to the opposite size, but like they come back and 206 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:49,880 Speaker 1: then she's like, well, you know what, it's gonna all 207 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,520 Speaker 1: make sense later, We're gonna be good and he's like, no, 208 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:56,080 Speaker 1: it's never you know, Like it captures the reality of 209 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 1: some people feel like there is no silver lining when 210 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,319 Speaker 1: they comes to the end of the marriage, but then 211 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 1: you see later on they are able to create that friendship. 212 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:08,240 Speaker 1: They are able, you know, years removed, to compare in 213 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:12,000 Speaker 1: a healthy way. So that surprised me as opposed to 214 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,319 Speaker 1: why they ended. Mm hmmm, yeah, and you know, I'm 215 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,960 Speaker 1: listening to you talk. Also very aware that they showed 216 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:22,160 Speaker 1: them doing a couples therapy, right, and so speaking to 217 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:26,360 Speaker 1: the point that we often hear about couples waiting individuals too, 218 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,200 Speaker 1: but couples in particular waiting way too long before they 219 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:33,240 Speaker 1: like start therapy, right, And it isn't always this, Yeah, 220 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:37,400 Speaker 1: it isn't always this like somebody cheated, something big happened. 221 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,559 Speaker 1: A lot of times it is like these little resentments 222 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 1: that have never gone addressed, and then we can't have 223 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:46,680 Speaker 1: a conversation about like anything without some of that other 224 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 1: stuff now filtering our decision making. And we're angry, but 225 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,760 Speaker 1: we're not really angry about the thing that we're talking about, right. 226 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: So I thought that that was interesting too, that they 227 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:58,440 Speaker 1: did show them doing a couple of therapy, even though 228 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 1: clearly it wasn't effective in terms of keeping their marriage together. 229 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,920 Speaker 1: But I do think they were probably able to get 230 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 1: a lot more on the table than those sessions than 231 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:10,240 Speaker 1: they had been by themselves. That was real because it 232 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 1: does take couples six or seven years before they actually 233 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 1: if they decide to even seek helping. It takes about 234 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,680 Speaker 1: that long into a relationship. And that depiction a couple 235 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: of therapy. I loved it. I loved it. I was like, oh, 236 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:31,040 Speaker 1: the barbs, the jobs. It can get intent because these 237 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,480 Speaker 1: are stored up conversations that have not been happening in 238 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 1: the past six seven years. Like this is gonna sound crazy, 239 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:41,959 Speaker 1: but I had a couple and she was just like, 240 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 1: I don't understand why all this is coming out now. 241 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,000 Speaker 1: And I have said since let me tell you something. 242 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 1: You know, when you get your hair braided right and 243 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,560 Speaker 1: you take out your braids and all your hair is 244 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:57,079 Speaker 1: just coming out, but it's not coming out a little 245 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 1: by little. It's a whole bunch coming out because every 246 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 1: single day our hair sheds, but you have it in 247 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:06,439 Speaker 1: this style that's preventing it from chatting. So not that 248 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,040 Speaker 1: you're taking your brains out. It seems like a lot, 249 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 1: but it's something that would have been came out had 250 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:15,120 Speaker 1: it been done over a period of time. And she 251 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,440 Speaker 1: was just like, bab you're crazy because I've never heard 252 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:21,840 Speaker 1: that metaphor before, but it makes so much sense. I'm 253 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,360 Speaker 1: just like, that's what it is now. You may not 254 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 1: have had the language. You may not have realized what 255 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,320 Speaker 1: was happening or what was going on for you to 256 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,400 Speaker 1: be even able to relate it. Y'all may not have 257 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 1: felt like y'all had enough emotional intimacy to talk this out. 258 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,320 Speaker 1: You may not have had the strategy, like the skill 259 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 1: set to figure out how to navigate this conversation without 260 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,280 Speaker 1: it blowing up. And then you go your way, I 261 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 1: go my way. There's all different reasons, but at the 262 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:50,040 Speaker 1: end of the day, you're here. And I think that 263 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 1: Toby at one point was desperate. You saw him like, kay, please, please, 264 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:59,880 Speaker 1: let's just make this work. And that happens. Yeah, she 265 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 1: was already checked out. It's eamed by then this say 266 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:07,440 Speaker 1: was gone. She she was gone. And I think that 267 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,800 Speaker 1: there were several moments had they been able to see 268 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:13,400 Speaker 1: professional help or have conversations about it before, they would 269 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 1: have still been married. In my opinion, So it is 270 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:21,800 Speaker 1: what it is. But I can appreciate that they needed 271 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,120 Speaker 1: to go through that divorce because I feel like there's 272 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,120 Speaker 1: so many people who may not see divorce as a 273 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 1: failure anymore m as opposed to what we all believe, 274 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 1: oh the marriage and it's a failure that there's still life, 275 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:41,080 Speaker 1: there's still relationships that can be developed on the other 276 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,880 Speaker 1: side of it. It's not a divorce. It just wasn't 277 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:47,760 Speaker 1: meant to be. So you have talked a little bit 278 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 1: about Beth and Randall, and I know when you've been 279 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 1: on the podcast before talking about This is Us. We 280 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,640 Speaker 1: you know, both have a love affair with Beth and 281 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:56,680 Speaker 1: Randall because I feel like they just had such a 282 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 1: cool dynamic and it was really cool to see the 283 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:02,520 Speaker 1: way they were shown on camera. So I also feel 284 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,800 Speaker 1: like though This Is Us did one of the best 285 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:08,800 Speaker 1: jobs of showing just like black life, like regular just 286 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 1: everyday life. And so I love to hear maybe some 287 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:15,160 Speaker 1: of your favorite scenes from Beth and Randall or some 288 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,480 Speaker 1: of the things that you remember most about, like their 289 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 1: time on This Is Us. My favorite scenes have to 290 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,560 Speaker 1: be the worst case scenario moments. For me. That's a 291 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:29,000 Speaker 1: testament of emotional security. Let's talk about the worst things 292 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,520 Speaker 1: that can happen with either ourselves or within our family. 293 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,400 Speaker 1: Let's put it out on that table. And a lot 294 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:38,040 Speaker 1: of times like who actively leans into the things that 295 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 1: are uncomfortable or not desirable, you know what I mean. 296 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,400 Speaker 1: I love their friendships, whether they're able to just talk 297 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:49,120 Speaker 1: or they know each other. I think sometimes Randall feels 298 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 1: like Beth doesn't know as much or doesn't catch things. 299 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,280 Speaker 1: I'm like, man, what are you talking about? She been 300 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:58,400 Speaker 1: knew the Asia was pregnant, like all the things. I 301 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 1: think sometimes he still gets surpris eyes by his partner, 302 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,000 Speaker 1: which I think is lovely too, because yes, you may 303 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,399 Speaker 1: know your partner, but you will not always know the 304 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:12,640 Speaker 1: whole person. There's still space for you know, surprise and mystery. 305 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,200 Speaker 1: And so I think just seeing a regular Schmeler black 306 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,600 Speaker 1: couple who like to hang with each other, who have 307 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:23,800 Speaker 1: an awesome friendship, who are into each other sexual intimacy, 308 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,920 Speaker 1: like they love each other, they like each other, and 309 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:31,119 Speaker 1: even during the hard things, like they they know what 310 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,600 Speaker 1: each other needs. She's like, oh, Philip, Sophie, we need 311 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,280 Speaker 1: to go because this is gonna happen, This was gonna 312 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:37,959 Speaker 1: like this, what's gonna happen? We need to get them 313 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,399 Speaker 1: space kind of what my husband is gonna go do. 314 00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:43,600 Speaker 1: That's emotional intelligence right there, you know what your partner needs. 315 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:49,440 Speaker 1: I love them. I love them because we don't have 316 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:55,520 Speaker 1: enough depiction of black couples on the screen that's not toxic, 317 00:17:56,400 --> 00:18:01,159 Speaker 1: that's not overly dramatic, or you know, I like regular 318 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 1: black loooves Okay, that that that that's that's what I like. 319 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:07,719 Speaker 1: And and I love the fact that it was just 320 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:11,639 Speaker 1: them mm hmmm. Yeah. And adding to your point around 321 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,080 Speaker 1: like the emotional intelligence, you know, I mean, we definitely 322 00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 1: saw Randall in therapy I think at least a couple 323 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 1: of times throughout the show, but I don't know that 324 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 1: we ever saw Beth talking to anyone. But it's clear 325 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:26,119 Speaker 1: that they like are versed in like emotions and like 326 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,680 Speaker 1: being able to support each other in what they each 327 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,879 Speaker 1: need in any given moment. I personally love the episode 328 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,240 Speaker 1: that we talked about before where he went home to 329 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,040 Speaker 1: Louis Diana like that. I think it's still one of 330 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:42,640 Speaker 1: my favorite favorite episodes. But I also really loved all 331 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,440 Speaker 1: of the episodes where we got to see more of 332 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:48,239 Speaker 1: beaths backstory, so her love with dancing and like her 333 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,560 Speaker 1: dynamic with her family. I thought, we're also just really beautiful. 334 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,480 Speaker 1: So I'm still keeping my fingers crossed I know Dan 335 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:57,560 Speaker 1: Folkelman has said there won't be any spin offs or 336 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,359 Speaker 1: maybe maybe not, but I think they're not necessarily planning 337 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,160 Speaker 1: and the spin offs, but if there were one, that's 338 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,320 Speaker 1: the one I would want to see, is it's been 339 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:09,040 Speaker 1: off with Beth and Randall in their family, because I 340 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:11,080 Speaker 1: just feel like there's just so much more to kind 341 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,880 Speaker 1: of explore. You know, they kind of teased he may 342 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,800 Speaker 1: be looking at like a presidential run at the end 343 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,000 Speaker 1: of the series, and so, you know, I would love 344 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 1: not necessarily like a White House kind of drama, not dead, 345 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,400 Speaker 1: but like just you know, again keeping with the regular 346 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,719 Speaker 1: life theme and just seeing all the years that we 347 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,360 Speaker 1: didn't get to see on the show, Like what did 348 00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:31,320 Speaker 1: the girls, what were they like growing up? And how 349 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 1: are they growing into being grandparents, like all of those 350 00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:41,720 Speaker 1: kinds of things WILLIAF. I know that we're gonna get 351 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,119 Speaker 1: into that, but I just think about the theme of 352 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:50,320 Speaker 1: legacy and nothing else surprising happened. I think the Miguel 353 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:55,360 Speaker 1: episode was the one that surprised me. It took me out. 354 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,320 Speaker 1: I felt like I had to go confess my sins 355 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 1: for how I thought about this man. I'm a daughter 356 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:08,119 Speaker 1: of immigrants and I'm thinking about just the process of 357 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,720 Speaker 1: him coming from Puerto Rico and you know, assimilating into 358 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,320 Speaker 1: society and working through the prejudice and all of that, 359 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 1: but just the idea of seeing his parents interact, seeing 360 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 1: his mother take care of his sister, and then how 361 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:28,160 Speaker 1: that enabled him to take care of Rebecca with honor. 362 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,720 Speaker 1: Like people talk about Beth and Jack and I think 363 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:38,160 Speaker 1: about how Rebecca was to Jack what Miguel was to Rebecca, 364 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 1: Like she got to flourish and be this person because 365 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:46,920 Speaker 1: Miguel was able to hold her down in all aspects. 366 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,440 Speaker 1: And I think she knew that because she was just like, 367 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,880 Speaker 1: you didn't get the best version of me, Jackson, And 368 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:56,400 Speaker 1: I think the version that she was was fueled because 369 00:20:56,520 --> 00:21:00,200 Speaker 1: of Miguel's intentionality of taking care of her, and then 370 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:03,600 Speaker 1: just seeing how the kids were watching him take care 371 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,240 Speaker 1: of their mother like he was. His hip was messed up, 372 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:09,919 Speaker 1: he was hurting, but he was still getting up. So 373 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,119 Speaker 1: when I just think about the legacy from this show 374 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:17,280 Speaker 1: of how it captures love, how it captures intentionally showing 375 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:21,960 Speaker 1: up for family and for your romantic partner, that was everything. 376 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,240 Speaker 1: So that's how when we get to that last episode, 377 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,000 Speaker 1: I felt like I was able to exhale because I'm like, 378 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,800 Speaker 1: the characters have all said and did everything that they 379 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 1: needed to do with Rebecca before the funeral, So you know, 380 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,719 Speaker 1: not hearing what they were seeing was of no consequence 381 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 1: to me. But losing a parent and you're standing up 382 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,000 Speaker 1: to talk about set parents right in front of you 383 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,359 Speaker 1: in a casket, You're not remembering what you write. You 384 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,080 Speaker 1: have no idea what the heck you just said unless 385 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,679 Speaker 1: you wrote it down beforehand. So I think everything that 386 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:57,040 Speaker 1: needed to be said, how they connected themselves throughout this 387 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:01,919 Speaker 1: entire series was a testament to love, family, intentionality and 388 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:07,040 Speaker 1: showing up like her, I know what job bills on 389 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,639 Speaker 1: you at the funeral of yourself, A job will do, 390 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:19,040 Speaker 1: serve it well with my soul. More from my conversation 391 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:31,000 Speaker 1: with Beverly after the break. Yeah, so I also love 392 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:35,440 Speaker 1: the Miguel episode. I get I think why they saved 393 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,280 Speaker 1: it the way that they did, because you know, it 394 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,200 Speaker 1: really does feel like throughout the way the series developed, 395 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 1: we did not know a lot about Miguel, Like I 396 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:47,400 Speaker 1: don't remember before the Miguel episode ever even knowing how 397 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:51,120 Speaker 1: they got together. Had they shared that before? No, everybody 398 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:55,680 Speaker 1: assumed that he swooped in and was just like, what's up? 399 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,120 Speaker 1: I would have been out right, See, I don't think 400 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,959 Speaker 1: I assumed that. I think I assumed that it was 401 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:05,719 Speaker 1: like a more like earnest kind of a thing. But 402 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,960 Speaker 1: we didn't know. Right when y'all left us kind of 403 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,200 Speaker 1: making up our own stories about like what was going 404 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,600 Speaker 1: on with Miguel, it was just like, how could you 405 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:17,480 Speaker 1: do that to Rebecca? You know, Rebecca is grieving, she 406 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:20,520 Speaker 1: had those three kids to raise. You know, she's in 407 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,920 Speaker 1: a bad place. You know you're evil because I ain't 408 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:27,520 Speaker 1: nobody You're gonna blame the grieving widow her and then 409 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,760 Speaker 1: my jew she was the one who was like, what's up? 410 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:33,399 Speaker 1: Miguel like gifts at first, made the moves and was 411 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:39,440 Speaker 1: some I'm just like okay. That was the only way 412 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 1: to end this season when people not hitting Miguel was 413 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,760 Speaker 1: Rebecca initiating things first, right, So they gave us the 414 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,040 Speaker 1: full story, and you know, it was just so beautiful. 415 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:50,439 Speaker 1: I think to have so much more of his story, 416 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,200 Speaker 1: to find out more about who he was, because again 417 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,720 Speaker 1: to your point, I do think he very much was 418 00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,600 Speaker 1: like he was a very four ground character, but his 419 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,200 Speaker 1: story was in the bad ground, right, So you saw 420 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,880 Speaker 1: him in a lot of the episodes, even this season, 421 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,280 Speaker 1: but you still didn't know a lot about him besides 422 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:09,199 Speaker 1: like him taking care of Rebecca and that he was 423 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:11,920 Speaker 1: Jack's best friend when they were younger. So I thought 424 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,800 Speaker 1: it was beautiful the way that they shared that. I 425 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:17,280 Speaker 1: just wish we had gotten that earlier, so that, you know, 426 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,119 Speaker 1: we could have had a better appreciation of who Miguel 427 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,360 Speaker 1: was and like his history and you know, the things 428 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 1: that led him to be who he was. They did 429 00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:29,119 Speaker 1: that on purpose, they did, of course they did. And 430 00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: I feels like, Okay, y'all pull the oaky dogs on us, 431 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 1: and you know what, I like the fact that they didn't, 432 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:41,439 Speaker 1: because I also think that that challenge you and your beliefs. 433 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,400 Speaker 1: Stop making assumptions about people unless you know the thing. 434 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,679 Speaker 1: Stop assuming because there's so many layers to people, just 435 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,320 Speaker 1: like who we work with, who we are around. We 436 00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:54,040 Speaker 1: don't know what they've been through. We only know who 437 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,400 Speaker 1: we see in front of us, and they are not 438 00:24:56,480 --> 00:25:00,359 Speaker 1: the totality of what we see. They and not the 439 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:05,199 Speaker 1: sociality of what we see, and they deserved additional consideration 440 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:09,480 Speaker 1: versus like you're just a necessary to that person. Because 441 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:15,359 Speaker 1: that's what he was. That's Rebecca's second husband. M Yeah, yeah. 442 00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:18,680 Speaker 1: And I do feel like even when they showed him 443 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:20,680 Speaker 1: getting much older and both of them getting much older 444 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 1: and him like taking such good care of her, I 445 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:26,800 Speaker 1: think the kids, of course loved Miguel, but I think 446 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:29,320 Speaker 1: it really wasn't until they saw the way that he 447 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 1: was taking care of her that they reached an even 448 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 1: deeper appreciation for like who he was and how he 449 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,920 Speaker 1: had been like so important in her life. I feel 450 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:44,080 Speaker 1: like they tolerated him. I feel first of all, Kevin 451 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,280 Speaker 1: and not like that. Man. Well no, Kevin definitely did not, 452 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,479 Speaker 1: But I definitely feel like Randall and Kate had a different, 453 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,400 Speaker 1: like a more loving relationship with him like that. Man, 454 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,600 Speaker 1: I feel like the other kids is like, okay, it's Miguel. 455 00:25:56,640 --> 00:26:01,000 Speaker 1: They tolerated him. And I say that to say when 456 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,640 Speaker 1: it came to Rebecca and her care and different things 457 00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:07,680 Speaker 1: like that, you saw when it was like move, you're 458 00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:13,200 Speaker 1: not a factor, all right, we tolerate you. Uko people 459 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:17,239 Speaker 1: when it comes to serious things like oh and it 460 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:18,800 Speaker 1: was literally up to her back and be like, no, 461 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:22,200 Speaker 1: that's my husband. He's going to make the decisions. He's 462 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,119 Speaker 1: going to be the person who's going to, you know, 463 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,320 Speaker 1: do all the things, and if he's not here to 464 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,719 Speaker 1: make it, then it'll be okay. But what you call 465 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:34,000 Speaker 1: it wasn't respecting that, and I think probably anxiety. He 466 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:35,960 Speaker 1: wanted to know all of the things that make all 467 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:40,080 Speaker 1: the decisions. But I think that Miguel definitely tried to 468 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 1: have a relationship with them more than just I'm your 469 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,920 Speaker 1: mother's husband. But I think it was like, Okay, you're here, 470 00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,480 Speaker 1: we're cool, but when it comes to serious things, you 471 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,280 Speaker 1: have no state, no input. Mm hmmm. That's a good point. 472 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,240 Speaker 1: You're right. I completely agree with it now that you 473 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,680 Speaker 1: point that out. So I definitely want to make sure 474 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 1: we have time to get into this train episode because 475 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,000 Speaker 1: it was such a big one. So it was not 476 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,320 Speaker 1: the final episode. It was the episode before the very 477 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,760 Speaker 1: last one, but I feel like in a lot of 478 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,199 Speaker 1: ways it was the last one, right, So it was 479 00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:14,200 Speaker 1: when we see Rebecca at the end of the train 480 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 1: episode is when she actually passes, right. But the whole 481 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:21,560 Speaker 1: episode is like characterized as this train ride between life 482 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,000 Speaker 1: and death basically, and she's on the train, going through 483 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:29,160 Speaker 1: the different cars, confronting and having these last words with everybody. 484 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 1: Who has been impactful throughout her life, which I thought 485 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:37,239 Speaker 1: was such a beautiful metaphor, and like, it was so 486 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,879 Speaker 1: cool to see it on screen because I feel like 487 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,280 Speaker 1: you could really see it right, like you could see 488 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,480 Speaker 1: her going from cars to car and then saying like, Okay, 489 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:46,360 Speaker 1: it's time, we got to move on to the next one. 490 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:48,400 Speaker 1: I just thought that it was so beautiful. I don't 491 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:52,760 Speaker 1: know that I've seen death captured in that way on 492 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:58,479 Speaker 1: screen before. And I'm saying, again, emotions seeing about that episode, 493 00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:05,159 Speaker 1: I see you because I honestly, I really that is 494 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:09,840 Speaker 1: a gift. To leave this world in that way is 495 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:12,840 Speaker 1: a gift. To have lived a long life, to be 496 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 1: surrounded by your family, to metaphorically say goodbye to everyone, 497 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:20,840 Speaker 1: or to have that conscious thought about wow, like my 498 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:25,520 Speaker 1: life in review, that is a gift. And that episode 499 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:29,480 Speaker 1: came at a time, I think, because my birthday was 500 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 1: last week, and so since that episode, I've been really 501 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:38,720 Speaker 1: thinking about like life and my life and reviews so far. 502 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,440 Speaker 1: And I think that's what's amazing about that episode is 503 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:44,720 Speaker 1: because you literally have the ability to stop and just 504 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:50,160 Speaker 1: think and reflect who would be on my train, who 505 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 1: are the people that impact me or who have impacted 506 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,800 Speaker 1: me how fast that I've been moving through the cards, 507 00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:00,240 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like it felt so men sure, 508 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,560 Speaker 1: the way that she was just walking through and then 509 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:06,480 Speaker 1: like from the doctor and still the nuggets that they're 510 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 1: giving like you know what, you did a good job, 511 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,400 Speaker 1: Like we did this together. I think William has said that, like, no, 512 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:16,960 Speaker 1: we did okay. So that's what broke me down. When 513 00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,200 Speaker 1: William was the guy, right, So when it was clear 514 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,080 Speaker 1: that like he was going to be the one like 515 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:25,320 Speaker 1: ushering her through these cars, that's when I lost it 516 00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:28,080 Speaker 1: because I just thought that that was so beautiful because 517 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,360 Speaker 1: it felt like it was really important, right, Like I 518 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:33,240 Speaker 1: feel like they had such a cool relationship that wasn't 519 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:35,880 Speaker 1: always very like loud, but I think in a lot 520 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:37,920 Speaker 1: of ways was very important for the both of them. 521 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:40,360 Speaker 1: I just thought that that was beautiful that he was 522 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:43,280 Speaker 1: her guide on this train because he's been down that path, 523 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:50,520 Speaker 1: you know. And I know that Jack obviously died before William, 524 00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:57,320 Speaker 1: but I feel that she needed someone to walk with her, 525 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,760 Speaker 1: to leave her back to him, you know. And it 526 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,960 Speaker 1: couldn't have been Miguel. That would have been awkward, like 527 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:07,760 Speaker 1: someone that she had such a deep relay because he 528 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:12,760 Speaker 1: was a co parent. He co parented as well. I 529 00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:14,720 Speaker 1: think about the episode when they went to New York 530 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:16,600 Speaker 1: and she was telling them about like, you know, I 531 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,160 Speaker 1: always want to go to the met to look at 532 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:22,000 Speaker 1: the painting because his painting really stuck out to her, 533 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,360 Speaker 1: and you know, I wanted to take this train right 534 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:26,560 Speaker 1: with my dad. And in that episode where she couldn't 535 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:30,640 Speaker 1: remember Caboose and then to know that that was where 536 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,960 Speaker 1: she was going and she finally remembered it, and then 537 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:35,600 Speaker 1: Kate was there and her hearing the voices of her 538 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:41,240 Speaker 1: kids listening to Oh my gosh, Bet, whoa Beth? Beth? 539 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:44,560 Speaker 1: Beth Beth. This woman was just like I was literally 540 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,920 Speaker 1: trying to be just like you. You can see it. 541 00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:51,040 Speaker 1: You can see it how she shows up with Rando 542 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:53,880 Speaker 1: and the girls, you can see it. You never really 543 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:59,840 Speaker 1: saw Beth and Rebecca have such an intimate conversation. He 544 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,000 Speaker 1: though she wasn't saying anything, Rebecca was the same thing 545 00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:04,320 Speaker 1: she was. She was just listening. That's the most intimate 546 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:08,240 Speaker 1: I've ever heard Beft talk too Rebecca, and I just 547 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:12,200 Speaker 1: felt like, this woman has no idea what example she 548 00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,480 Speaker 1: is to other people? Meanwim the whole time she's doubting 549 00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,600 Speaker 1: her ability as a mom, doubting her ability as a wife, 550 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,440 Speaker 1: second guessing how she shows up feeling like she's messing 551 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:24,640 Speaker 1: up with Kate left and right, not knowing that you 552 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:29,720 Speaker 1: are literally a gold standard for someone else, for another mother. 553 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,640 Speaker 1: And I think that was just amazing because I think 554 00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:36,120 Speaker 1: that is very true for women, that you look at 555 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,280 Speaker 1: a woman and he's like, Wow, she is just everything, 556 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:41,360 Speaker 1: all that and some and in her mind she's just 557 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:43,760 Speaker 1: like thinking about all the things that she's not doing well. 558 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,479 Speaker 1: I think that's why it's so important too, especially from 559 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,560 Speaker 1: woman to woman, to share Oh girl, I love that 560 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,200 Speaker 1: about you, or oh look how you are. I just 561 00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:56,040 Speaker 1: love that outfit because sometimes we don't see it, we 562 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,720 Speaker 1: don't think it for ourselves, we don't think for ourselves. 563 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:00,960 Speaker 1: Other people see it, but we're just seeing all the 564 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,120 Speaker 1: reasons why we're not, you know. I just love the 565 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:08,680 Speaker 1: fact that they had that moment and so waiting for Kate. Listen, Kate. 566 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,480 Speaker 1: Kate didn't get off that play. It was the run 567 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:20,600 Speaker 1: across the yard for me, run across the yard, the 568 00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,600 Speaker 1: hand grip when she met Jack and then she gripped 569 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,080 Speaker 1: Randall's hand at the same time and I was like, 570 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:29,680 Speaker 1: oh Jesus, my heart, it was so much. It was 571 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:33,000 Speaker 1: such a moving episode. It was so moving more from 572 00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:47,680 Speaker 1: my conversation with Beverly after the break, and I think 573 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,520 Speaker 1: a lot of people coming off of that episode and 574 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,120 Speaker 1: then looking at the final episode, it felt like, but 575 00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:55,960 Speaker 1: we got all this lest week and this felt so quiet. 576 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 1: And I agree, but I feel like it would have 577 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:00,720 Speaker 1: been hard. There was no way they could have matched 578 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,480 Speaker 1: the energy of the Trained episode with the final episode, 579 00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:07,000 Speaker 1: and so hearing them talk about how they wanted it 580 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,720 Speaker 1: to just be like a regular day, right, like one 581 00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,960 Speaker 1: of those days that you maybe remember later, but it's 582 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,760 Speaker 1: just like a quiet day, and when it's happening, it 583 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:16,640 Speaker 1: doesn't feel like it's a lot, but like you look 584 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:19,240 Speaker 1: back in your memory and you realize, like, oh, that 585 00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:21,360 Speaker 1: was a very important day, and like the kids still 586 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,240 Speaker 1: have memories and how the things that happened on what 587 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,000 Speaker 1: looked like a regular day shaped who they became. Right, 588 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:29,960 Speaker 1: So I get why they felt that way, but I 589 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,240 Speaker 1: do think that there wasn't a way to also match 590 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,640 Speaker 1: the energy of the Train episode. Like I don't think 591 00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,560 Speaker 1: they had a choice but to make it more quiet, right. 592 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,320 Speaker 1: Some people were like I wished the trained episode was 593 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:45,440 Speaker 1: the last episode, and I was just like, it wouldn't 594 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:50,720 Speaker 1: feel right. This show has never felt like I'm gonna 595 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:56,640 Speaker 1: leave you emotionally disregulated and bounce, and I had that happened, 596 00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 1: that's what it would have been. Like, Yeah, we have 597 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:03,880 Speaker 1: still been over crying about crying, and then it's just 598 00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:08,879 Speaker 1: like we got to have closure, like Dan said, get 599 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:12,040 Speaker 1: all your feelings out. And then the day after the funeral, 600 00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:16,000 Speaker 1: life continues on what is the president? And even when 601 00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,920 Speaker 1: Kate talking about I feel like we're gonna drift apart? 602 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:22,120 Speaker 1: How many families don't have that conversation when that anchor 603 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,480 Speaker 1: person is gone? What is the matriarch? The patriarch and 604 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:28,520 Speaker 1: the family they are gone, and he's like, well, who 605 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:31,440 Speaker 1: else is gonna organize the cookout? Where are we going 606 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:35,520 Speaker 1: to do Christmas? Those traditions that the family connects with 607 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:39,759 Speaker 1: that it's usually one person or one family that organizes it. 608 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:42,239 Speaker 1: And so when she said that, I was just like, 609 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,319 Speaker 1: these are the conversations that people need to be having 610 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:48,360 Speaker 1: posts pre impost the passing of a loved one. You 611 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,680 Speaker 1: know what if you dress well, that may happen, but 612 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:53,759 Speaker 1: we're gonna drift with you. We're gonna follow you. We're 613 00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:57,000 Speaker 1: gonna be intentional about connecting. And I appreciate it that 614 00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:02,360 Speaker 1: being the ending, because now how they are in control 615 00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:06,240 Speaker 1: of how their family moved forward. Their parents are gone. 616 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,319 Speaker 1: They did all that they could, and now what are 617 00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:12,719 Speaker 1: we gonna do with what they taught us? Thanksgiving? Where 618 00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:15,839 Speaker 1: are we doing Thanksgiving? We're gonna come back to the cabin, right, yep. 619 00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:19,239 Speaker 1: And that's why I love the fact that they ended 620 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:22,719 Speaker 1: the show that they ended because life continues. The show 621 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:27,560 Speaker 1: won't here, but life will continue. It sounds like Dan 622 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:30,800 Speaker 1: did a lot of interviews leading up to this last episode, 623 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:32,760 Speaker 1: and you know, it sounds like that was his intention. 624 00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:35,480 Speaker 1: And I also think he had recently lost his mother, 625 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,000 Speaker 1: I think at some point during one of the seasons, 626 00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:40,560 Speaker 1: So I think that this he started writing the show 627 00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:43,160 Speaker 1: after his mother passed, So I'm sure that that was 628 00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:45,719 Speaker 1: also a part of the framing, right, and you know, 629 00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:47,600 Speaker 1: thinking about like what that was like for him and 630 00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:50,080 Speaker 1: his family. But I agree with you. I think a 631 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,520 Speaker 1: lot of what every season and a lot of the 632 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,440 Speaker 1: episodes of This Is Us really just gave us opportunities 633 00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:57,839 Speaker 1: to have these conversations. And I realized, right, like how 634 00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:00,640 Speaker 1: many conversations don't we have, but and we have an 635 00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:03,520 Speaker 1: on screen depiction of what happens when we don't right 636 00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:05,919 Speaker 1: or what can happen if we do so. I thought 637 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,000 Speaker 1: that that was one of the beautiful gifts of many 638 00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,800 Speaker 1: that they offered us from this as Us show that 639 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:14,120 Speaker 1: keeps on giving. M So, what are your thoughts about, 640 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:17,120 Speaker 1: like the progression we saw between the Big Three and 641 00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:21,000 Speaker 1: of the Big Three throughout the seasons and wrapping up 642 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:24,520 Speaker 1: with the finale, what kinds of growth and things did 643 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:27,239 Speaker 1: you see from the Big Three? I didn't, number one thing, 644 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:32,600 Speaker 1: allow the person who is to be like I don't 645 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:36,959 Speaker 1: think until later on that they didn't really allow each 646 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:42,400 Speaker 1: other to be who they were in present time. Reno 647 00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:47,040 Speaker 1: still had a thought about his siblings being teenagers, irresponsible, 648 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:50,560 Speaker 1: not know what they're doing, not taking initiative, him stepping 649 00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:55,799 Speaker 1: up right. keV definitely saw Randall as you are their 650 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,520 Speaker 1: favorite son, and you're the one who feels like you 651 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:02,080 Speaker 1: have to do everything. I the mess up right, Kate, 652 00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:05,480 Speaker 1: I'm not qualified to say anything my brother as an actor. 653 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:09,360 Speaker 1: This guy's a financial guy now he's in the government. 654 00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:13,320 Speaker 1: All of that, right, and they held onto these ideas 655 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:17,120 Speaker 1: of what they knew of each other, instead of recognizing 656 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:21,279 Speaker 1: who they were in that moment and being accepted for 657 00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:25,440 Speaker 1: who they were. And I think once they did that, 658 00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:29,440 Speaker 1: they were able to tap into each other's strengths. They 659 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,160 Speaker 1: were able to identify the strengths versus well, you've always 660 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:36,000 Speaker 1: been this way. And I think, especially in siblings groups, 661 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,800 Speaker 1: that it's so easy to be like, you know what, 662 00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:42,000 Speaker 1: my brother has always been this person. Yeah, my sister 663 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,240 Speaker 1: I was gonna be like this, And when you say always, 664 00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:47,080 Speaker 1: you no longer have grace for that person. And not 665 00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:49,200 Speaker 1: to say that you have to have an opinion about 666 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:51,640 Speaker 1: their growth, the speed of growth or anything like that, 667 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:56,520 Speaker 1: but allow them to be who they are today versus 668 00:37:57,040 --> 00:38:01,040 Speaker 1: them against who they were. And I think that was 669 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,839 Speaker 1: the biggest growth because once they did that, you saw 670 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,800 Speaker 1: Kate being able to say, Hey, you guys aren't seeing mom. 671 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:10,520 Speaker 1: You're still thinking about my way back when talking about 672 00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:15,920 Speaker 1: oh she was magic. She's still here. She's still giving 673 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,279 Speaker 1: you guys his lessons. You know, she may be in 674 00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:20,919 Speaker 1: a different time frame in her mind, but she's able 675 00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,480 Speaker 1: to talk to Sophie and how that affected Sophie, you know, 676 00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,560 Speaker 1: you know, now considering being with Kevin, that was different. 677 00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:33,640 Speaker 1: The gift of Rebecca singing that song you want to 678 00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:37,840 Speaker 1: talk about emotional. I don't almost forgotten about that. They 679 00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:44,319 Speaker 1: gave us so much this season. I have forgotten, right, 680 00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:48,839 Speaker 1: the way singing has been a crucial element in both 681 00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:53,160 Speaker 1: Rebecca's life and Kate's life, and then knowing that she 682 00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,000 Speaker 1: was able to give that gifts. First of all, I 683 00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:58,720 Speaker 1: love the theme song, so when I put the lyrics, 684 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:02,320 Speaker 1: I mean, it's on my It's on my iTunes because 685 00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,359 Speaker 1: that right there, many more did that. So the way 686 00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:09,520 Speaker 1: that people see each other can either place limits or 687 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:15,000 Speaker 1: it can expand possibilities. And that's what happened with the siblings. Yeah, yeah, 688 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,880 Speaker 1: I agree with you, And I loved by the end 689 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,399 Speaker 1: how they were each able to kind of be their 690 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,759 Speaker 1: own people, right, And I think we saw that a 691 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,800 Speaker 1: lot in the conversations around caretaking, you know, because I 692 00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:28,400 Speaker 1: think a lot of who they were as a child 693 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,200 Speaker 1: then impacted what they felt like they need to do 694 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,960 Speaker 1: as a caretaker. Right, So Kevin feeling like he was 695 00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:36,320 Speaker 1: the mess up as a kid and now feeling like 696 00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:37,960 Speaker 1: he wanted to like make up for some of that 697 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:41,640 Speaker 1: in caretaking for mom. But then random feeling like, but 698 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,120 Speaker 1: you actually haven't been responsible, so why would we let 699 00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:47,239 Speaker 1: you be the one who makes these decisions? Right? And 700 00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,640 Speaker 1: it feels like Kate was in the background a lot, 701 00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:52,320 Speaker 1: and so I think for Rebecca to choose her to 702 00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:54,920 Speaker 1: be the one, like, hey, if Miguel is not able, 703 00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:57,600 Speaker 1: you are going to be the one who makes these decisions. 704 00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:00,920 Speaker 1: I think that that shook a lot up for the dynamic, 705 00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:06,200 Speaker 1: shook the table because it ain't Rebecca. He knows her children. 706 00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:09,120 Speaker 1: First of all, Rand you've been doing too much. You 707 00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:12,240 Speaker 1: don't need to be so sacrificial. I think Toby provided 708 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:16,440 Speaker 1: the best explanation as to why Rebecca chose her, and 709 00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:19,640 Speaker 1: he was like, you really don't see yourself. You really 710 00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:22,000 Speaker 1: don't see how empathetic you are, how you see everything, 711 00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,560 Speaker 1: how you see people and how you meet them where 712 00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:27,719 Speaker 1: they are. We have somebody that speaks life into you, 713 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,799 Speaker 1: your potential of what you believe you can be. Can 714 00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:34,359 Speaker 1: just experience so much. Now this girl is out here 715 00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:38,440 Speaker 1: on the plane flying to London. Building schools were visually 716 00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,600 Speaker 1: like because all it took was her to believe that 717 00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:44,879 Speaker 1: everybody else was telling her. Your mom's saw your dad 718 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:48,680 Speaker 1: saw it, I see it. Do you see it, do 719 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,400 Speaker 1: you believe what you see? And when she did, she 720 00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:57,040 Speaker 1: took off, took off. Yeah. I really enjoyed where they 721 00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,800 Speaker 1: were with each other by the end of the series. 722 00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:02,359 Speaker 1: I felt like that was very fitting at different level 723 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:07,440 Speaker 1: of appreciation and healing because I think especially between the brothers, 724 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:12,800 Speaker 1: they've always but it heads and they resented what the 725 00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,880 Speaker 1: other person could offer versus seeing that, you know what, 726 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:20,040 Speaker 1: it's helping the family right the way you randall being 727 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:25,440 Speaker 1: detailed oriented, Okay, it allows you to take strategic steps 728 00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:28,560 Speaker 1: to figure out, do the research and say, okay, this 729 00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:31,160 Speaker 1: is what I believe. It's the best decision. With Kevin 730 00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:36,040 Speaker 1: very passionate, feels deeply having that emotion intelligence and being able. 731 00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:38,280 Speaker 1: I mean, he needs to slow down with decision making, 732 00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:41,880 Speaker 1: but he can you know, bring in that perspective as 733 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:45,600 Speaker 1: well into the conversation. So I like the fact that 734 00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:48,960 Speaker 1: they were able to become the Big three man when 735 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:53,880 Speaker 1: they did that final Big Three Jesus. Somebody shared a 736 00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:56,120 Speaker 1: video of like the first time they did it as 737 00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:58,960 Speaker 1: the little kids and then the last time they did it, 738 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:03,200 Speaker 1: and I was no more good when he taught them, 739 00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:06,759 Speaker 1: and I was just like, you know what you're coming 740 00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:12,279 Speaker 1: for everybody. Yeah, so I am very curious to see 741 00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:15,680 Speaker 1: what Dane will do next. I already know the writer's 742 00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:18,239 Speaker 1: room is going to be incredible, so I think Kay 743 00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:20,400 Speaker 1: I forget her last name, I have to add that 744 00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,000 Speaker 1: in already has a show that I think she's working 745 00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:26,120 Speaker 1: on about the therapist in Philadelphia, right, isn't she working 746 00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:29,680 Speaker 1: on the show or around? Yes? Yes, yes, yes, yes, 747 00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:33,000 Speaker 1: And I can't wait that. And if she's a therapist 748 00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:39,960 Speaker 1: consult with she already doing because yes, because she she 749 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,080 Speaker 1: wrote what you call it. She wrote the Louisiana episode. Yes, 750 00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:47,919 Speaker 1: the Mother's episode when I'm telling you, when I saw 751 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:54,680 Speaker 1: that episode, Yeah, she's a star. Oh yeah goon Okay, 752 00:42:55,360 --> 00:43:01,080 Speaker 1: when she I knew, so I'll be watching that show too. Yes, 753 00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:03,440 Speaker 1: so we will definitely be paying attention to what all 754 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,920 Speaker 1: the writers from people do from this point moving forward 755 00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:09,160 Speaker 1: because we already know it's going to be great. So 756 00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,759 Speaker 1: any final thoughts or any kind of things that we 757 00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:13,520 Speaker 1: missed that you definitely want to make sure we chat 758 00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:15,880 Speaker 1: about as we say goodbye to This is Us. This 759 00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:18,120 Speaker 1: is Us is one of the greatest shows of all time. 760 00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:21,360 Speaker 1: It is amazing, gold standard. If you have not watched it. 761 00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:24,000 Speaker 1: You need to watch it and I stand by it 762 00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:28,279 Speaker 1: ten toes down. Oh yeah. And also I feel like 763 00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,000 Speaker 1: I didn't know this, but I've been seeing chatter online 764 00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:35,080 Speaker 1: around them not having won any awards for the show. 765 00:43:35,239 --> 00:43:37,520 Speaker 1: Is it just for writing? And I don't think Mandy 766 00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,560 Speaker 1: Moore has gotten any acting it was but she definitely 767 00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:44,160 Speaker 1: needs something from this season for sure. She needs her 768 00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:49,520 Speaker 1: and she deserves And no, we get a Twitter space 769 00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:54,160 Speaker 1: with GF Peppers and Jamir Ponder and James Porta. He 770 00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:58,520 Speaker 1: is the military consultant for This is Us. So, like 771 00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:00,880 Speaker 1: you know, when Jack went to the the military and 772 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:07,360 Speaker 1: all that, he said that the writers have never one 773 00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:13,160 Speaker 1: an award for their writing. How how is that possible? 774 00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,600 Speaker 1: It is? It is beyond me. If it is not 775 00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:25,040 Speaker 1: a clean sweep next award season, then you you already 776 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:29,880 Speaker 1: know somebody fixed it. Somebody fixed it. Yeah. The writing, 777 00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:33,239 Speaker 1: the writing, especially this season has been just impeccable. I 778 00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:36,080 Speaker 1: feel like every season, but definitely this season. I mean 779 00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:39,719 Speaker 1: the Train episode alone, I feel like it's better than 780 00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:41,919 Speaker 1: most of the stuff that we have seen on DV. 781 00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:46,320 Speaker 1: So I fully expect that they get there. Just the 782 00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:52,320 Speaker 1: forecasts to Train episode and possibly Miguel Miguel. I agree. 783 00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:55,319 Speaker 1: I agree, but I can train. Episode will be nominated. 784 00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:02,480 Speaker 1: It should have win, it should God, she put both 785 00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:06,120 Speaker 1: feet in that episode. She said she threw up when 786 00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:09,480 Speaker 1: she read the script, and I see why, right right, 787 00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:13,680 Speaker 1: I cannot imagine. Well, I was crying. All right, we're 788 00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:18,560 Speaker 1: just watching, we're not even acting on it. So I mean, 789 00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,800 Speaker 1: I hope they don't get picketed. They messed around and 790 00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:27,759 Speaker 1: don't get that girl out any so let this be 791 00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:32,000 Speaker 1: a warning. Let this be a warning emy people. Sorry, cool, 792 00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:36,360 Speaker 1: Sorry to the people if they don't, all right, do 793 00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:41,680 Speaker 1: the right do the right thing. Well, thank you for 794 00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:45,160 Speaker 1: joining us again. Beverly is always such a pleasure chatting 795 00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:48,600 Speaker 1: about our favorite episodes. Remind us where we can find 796 00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:53,759 Speaker 1: you online, Beverly Andre underscore Beverly with an L E y. 797 00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:55,880 Speaker 1: I had to add that to my Twitter profile because 798 00:45:56,840 --> 00:46:01,800 Speaker 1: oh they're still spelling my name wrong, so you know 799 00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:06,520 Speaker 1: it's you giggles, but true Beverly with an L e y. 800 00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:11,800 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and your website, Oh never got Beverly Andre 801 00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:15,120 Speaker 1: dot com and be Heart Counseling dot com. If you 802 00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:16,919 Speaker 1: need some therapy, if you're a black and brown woman 803 00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,640 Speaker 1: or a couple, come at your girl, I'm ready for you, 804 00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:22,719 Speaker 1: and we will be sure to include all of that 805 00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:29,279 Speaker 1: in the show notes. Thank you again, Beverly. I'm so 806 00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,640 Speaker 1: glad Beverly was able to join me again this week 807 00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:34,440 Speaker 1: to learn more about her and her work. Be sure 808 00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:36,680 Speaker 1: to visit the show notes at Therapy for Black Girls 809 00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:39,239 Speaker 1: dot com slash This is us, and be sure to 810 00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,239 Speaker 1: text two of your girls and ask them to check 811 00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:44,200 Speaker 1: out the episode right now. If you're looking for a 812 00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:46,719 Speaker 1: therapist in your area, be sure to check out our 813 00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:50,520 Speaker 1: therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. 814 00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:53,240 Speaker 1: And if you want to continue digging into this topic 815 00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:56,440 Speaker 1: or just be in community with other sisters, come on 816 00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:58,920 Speaker 1: over and join us in the Sister Circle. It's our 817 00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,640 Speaker 1: cozy corner of the net designed just for black women. 818 00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:04,560 Speaker 1: You can join us at community dot Therapy for Black 819 00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:08,720 Speaker 1: Girls dot com. This episode was produced by Freda Lucas 820 00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:12,120 Speaker 1: and Alice Ellis and editing was done by Dennis and Bradford. 821 00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,040 Speaker 1: Thank y'all so much for joining me again this week. 822 00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:17,680 Speaker 1: I look forward to continue in this conversation with you 823 00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,000 Speaker 1: all real soon. Take good care