WEBVTT - Local Teens Snort Dog Bones

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<v Speaker 1>What if I had pronounce it?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>What if.

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<v Speaker 3>Campsite media.

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<v Speaker 1>So I've got a good question for you here to

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<v Speaker 1>start the day.

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<v Speaker 2>M h.

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<v Speaker 1>I think you're gonna have I hope you're gonna have

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<v Speaker 1>a great answer for this one.

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<v Speaker 2>So okay, a lot of pressure here we go.

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<v Speaker 1>What's the weirdest or the worst thing you've ever snorted?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh? Well, if you were trying to get me to drugs,

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<v Speaker 2>I'll never give you that, Josh, I'll never give you

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<v Speaker 2>that I've snorted drugs. In fact, this makes me think

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<v Speaker 2>the whole podcast up until now has been a trap.

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<v Speaker 2>Damn it, you're a nar all right, drop the show.

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<v Speaker 2>He knows he figured it out. I would probably the

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<v Speaker 2>craziest thing I've ever snorted was an eraser off of

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<v Speaker 2>a pencil, and luckily was able to blow it right

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<v Speaker 2>back out, because I can't imagine the road that would

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<v Speaker 2>have been.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I am, I once tried snuff and it was

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<v Speaker 1>just terrible. And I don't smoke and I never chewed

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<v Speaker 1>to me, but I don't know why I did it,

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<v Speaker 1>and it was god awful.

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<v Speaker 2>And you tried to snort it.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, that is a thing that people do, I think,

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<v Speaker 1>or was I using it wrong.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to say, you were using it wrong, dam

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<v Speaker 2>I think, isn't it like dip or like chew?

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<v Speaker 1>If it was, then it definitely went in the wrong orifice.

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<v Speaker 1>Well say as dumb as these criminals, Josh, I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>they didn't choose me to host for snuff is nothing

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<v Speaker 1>compared to what we're going to talk about this week

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<v Speaker 1>on Crime List, when we tackle the very important and

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<v Speaker 1>often uncomfortable matter of fake drugs, Starting with a story

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<v Speaker 1>about some burglars who thought they'd stumbled into a giant

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<v Speaker 1>stash of cocaine, only to find out later it definitely

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't cocaine. What was it? That's after the break. Welcome

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<v Speaker 1>back to Crime lest, the podcast that celebrates the amazing

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<v Speaker 1>creativity of the world's dumbest criminals.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Josh Dean and I am Rory Scoville, and I

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<v Speaker 2>would just like to let everyone know during the break

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<v Speaker 2>we looked it up. Josh was right, you can snort

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<v Speaker 2>snuff ha vindicata. There there you go.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, it didn't make me any cooler or less.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes it did. Our listeners, now hold you way above me.

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<v Speaker 2>They know that I'm a nerd who doesn't how to

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<v Speaker 2>do drugs, and they know that you've done.

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<v Speaker 1>Drugs tobacco anyway, So I'm not exactly up on my

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<v Speaker 1>statutes of limitation. See what I did there, Like attorneys general.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm not going to ask you invasive questions about

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<v Speaker 1>your own drug use except when completely necessary.

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<v Speaker 2>Perfect.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, you live in Colorado, so we can all

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<v Speaker 1>safely assume you spoke weed.

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<v Speaker 2>There you go, edibles, joint, I smoke snuff, I swallow snuff,

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<v Speaker 2>I ingest snuff. No, I think Colorado it's fully legal

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<v Speaker 2>all things I think. I don't really know. I think

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<v Speaker 2>mushrooms may be psychedelics, psilo cybin at least I know

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<v Speaker 2>is legal, just based on the fact that you can

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<v Speaker 2>now get it in fancy corporate packaging, which is always

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<v Speaker 2>a sign that it's legal.

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<v Speaker 1>Road trip too, We're gonna tape in Colorado and we're

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<v Speaker 1>all gonna eat shrooms before, Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And do an episode, a live episode, the first live

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<v Speaker 2>crime less.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, that's actually a great idea.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a horrible idea, actually, Josh, I mean eye the Beholder.

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<v Speaker 1>Anyway, We're not here to talk about real drug this week.

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<v Speaker 1>We're talking fake drugs. Yeah, which for me is a

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<v Speaker 1>subject that goes all the way back to high school,

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<v Speaker 1>when I'm pretty sure I smoked a regano or some

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<v Speaker 1>like mixed herbs at a party because I was told

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<v Speaker 1>it was weed and thought it was cool. Yeah, but

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<v Speaker 1>what got me thinking about this was a story from

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<v Speaker 1>twenty eleven. That's the year of the Japanese tsunami, Kate's

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<v Speaker 1>marriage to Prince William and Osama bin Laden's death. But

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<v Speaker 1>after today, you're gonna remember the year twenty eleven best

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<v Speaker 1>for the story of five young dudes in Silver Springs Shores,

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<v Speaker 1>Florida who got arrested for burglarizing a home.

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<v Speaker 2>Florida classic, here we go.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you know where Silver Springs Shores is?

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<v Speaker 2>By chance? No one does, No one ever will well

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<v Speaker 2>until after this episode.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's it's kind of important because Silver Springs Shores

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<v Speaker 1>is a misnomer. It's definitely not on the shore or

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<v Speaker 1>anywhere near the shore. It's smack in the middle of Florida, near.

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<v Speaker 2>Okalla, Florida. You are too consistent.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so on branch.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>How many people bought houses in Silver Springs Shores?

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<v Speaker 2>Things unseen? Assumed it was waterfront property.

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<v Speaker 1>One thing. But I think this is kind of important

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<v Speaker 1>because there's coastal Florida where you get tourists and Canadians

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<v Speaker 1>and New York retirees who've mixed in with the Florida guy.

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<v Speaker 2>Ye.

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<v Speaker 1>And then there's inland Florida, which is basically West Virginia

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<v Speaker 1>or Alabama. But it's like all Florida, man, I think,

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<v Speaker 1>or mostly Florida, man.

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<v Speaker 2>I think you're right.

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<v Speaker 1>So anyway, I mentioned that as a way to give

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<v Speaker 1>you a sense of the kind of teen criminals we

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<v Speaker 1>might be dealing with here. So there were five of them,

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<v Speaker 1>three adults aged nineteen, nineteen, and eighteen, So adults is

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<v Speaker 1>in quotation marks there.

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<v Speaker 2>The youngest of adults, yes.

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<v Speaker 1>And then two juveniles who I'm going to guess were

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<v Speaker 1>like seventeen. Probably they're all friends. Their names aren't important.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to add any additional shame to that

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<v Speaker 1>that they've already brought upon themselves. And our story begins

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<v Speaker 1>with a woman coming home and realizing she's been robbed.

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<v Speaker 1>She's missing some electronics, she's missing some jewelry, set of

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<v Speaker 1>vases or vases? Are you vas or vase? Guy?

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<v Speaker 2>I say vase?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, vase?

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<v Speaker 2>I also say aunt instead of aunt.

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<v Speaker 1>Hmm.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know why I offered that up.

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<v Speaker 1>But Tomato, so vase.

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<v Speaker 2>I think I say vace, You say oz.

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<v Speaker 1>I think I say I think I say it both

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<v Speaker 1>ways trying.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what I say vase, And internally I think

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<v Speaker 2>o oz is right, But yet o oz sounds so snooty.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't bring myself to do it. It's true, we're talking,

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<v Speaker 2>even though I think it's correct, And in Florida, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>gonna guess vace is probably vase. Yep, good call, good assumption.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So these two vases contained the cremated ashes of

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<v Speaker 1>her father and her two deceased great Danes, Samson and Epic.

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<v Speaker 1>And I know what you're thinking. Why the hell would

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<v Speaker 1>some kids steal eurns filled with ashes because of course

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<v Speaker 1>they thought it was cocaine.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh god, geez, okay man, oh yeah, right to the jugular,

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<v Speaker 2>right the gate.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yes, So this is what I'm talking about. These

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<v Speaker 1>kids snorted the dog ashes or the old man's ashes.

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<v Speaker 1>We can't be sure.

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<v Speaker 2>What I appreciate is that you said vase or vase,

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<v Speaker 2>and then we just found out it was an urn,

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<v Speaker 2>and so you rope me into that for no reason. Hey, Roy,

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<v Speaker 2>do you say it right or do you see it wrong?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm dumb, Josh Well. Trick question because it's an urn.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you say urn or orn?

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<v Speaker 2>I go with the Norwegian orn? I go orn with

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<v Speaker 2>an umlot.

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<v Speaker 1>Also my favorite couch an aikiya love the urn?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yes, yes, yes, yes.

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<v Speaker 1>So the burglars realized it wasn't actually cocaine, well probably

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<v Speaker 1>when they snorted the pattern. It tasted gross and nothing happened,

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<v Speaker 1>and they later threw the ashes into la because they

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<v Speaker 1>were worried they left fingerprints on the containers. Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 1>this is all according to Marion County detectives, by the way,

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<v Speaker 1>who talked to a local CBS affiliate. So imagine this scene.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm guessing one of them finds these urns and convinces

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<v Speaker 1>everyone else that it's coke, and they cut these giant

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<v Speaker 1>lines and then ugh, and then they.

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<v Speaker 2>Feel like it tastes like a life that's already been lived, I.

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<v Speaker 1>Mean, or a chunk of bone got stuck in someone's

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, just horrible, horrible realization. When that happens, right,

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<v Speaker 1>the dude who actually had the idea has now lost

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<v Speaker 1>all credibility with its friends.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you think this is the only time in human

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<v Speaker 2>history this has ever happened. I wonder how common of

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<v Speaker 2>an error this is.

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<v Speaker 1>I have a surprise for you. Just hang in there,

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<v Speaker 1>because I didn't even tee that question up.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh good god, I'm already onto it.

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<v Speaker 1>So these three adults are charged with multiple counts of robbery.

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<v Speaker 1>Not sure what happened to the juveniles other than I'm

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<v Speaker 1>sure a lot of ridicule at school. That's gonna be

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<v Speaker 1>a hard one to live down. Oh yeah, And I

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<v Speaker 1>also wish I could tell you this was an isolated incident. Rory.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh god.

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<v Speaker 1>But in March twenty fifteen in Missouri, three teens, again teens,

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<v Speaker 1>the oldest in this case seventeen, robbed a house. And

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<v Speaker 1>this is sounding like a copycat crime, but honestly probably

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<v Speaker 1>describes every home burglary. They stole electronics, they stole jewelry,

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<v Speaker 1>some prescription drugs, and human ashes that they thought were cocaine.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, Oh I just all right.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, have you seen an earned full of ashes before?

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<v Speaker 2>I've seen an urn. I've never opened it just because

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<v Speaker 2>of the haunting that would then occur and the portal

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<v Speaker 2>that would open, so I've always left it closed. But

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<v Speaker 2>I've got to assume there are some obvious textural and

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<v Speaker 2>color differences between human ashes and cocaine. And I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>an expert here, folks. My assumption is there would be

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<v Speaker 2>some red flags.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like I don't know that they're pure white, and

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<v Speaker 1>maybe there's some chunks in there, like yes. Also, and

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<v Speaker 1>here's the other thing. It's kind of a large quantity

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<v Speaker 1>and it's way heavier than you think, which means that

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<v Speaker 1>like there's teens running around out there thinking that random

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<v Speaker 1>people have giant piles of cocaine and vases lying around.

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<v Speaker 2>Like, was anybody like who lives here? Escabar? This is

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<v Speaker 2>way too much cocaine two dogs worth in the first place.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I think, yeah, marked in some math earlier

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<v Speaker 1>and figured out like several hundred thousand dollars worth of

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<v Speaker 1>cocaine probably. Okay, it's teen, So they're gonna be a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit optimistic. They're kids, you know, they're like, holy shit, man,

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<v Speaker 1>we scored. Yeah, And naturally people would keep it in

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<v Speaker 1>a vase and orn on the mantle.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's where I keep my drugs on the mantle,

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<v Speaker 2>so that easy access. Right away.

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<v Speaker 1>Somebody comes by.

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<v Speaker 2>Somebody comes by, Hey, sit down. Just sit down. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't have to go get it's right here.

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<v Speaker 1>According to a local cop quote, one of the suspects

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<v Speaker 1>tasted the ashes and determined it was not cocaine as

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<v Speaker 1>they originally suspected. The ashes were then thrown from a

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<v Speaker 1>car window and never found.

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<v Speaker 2>Yep.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I guess that's the natural. So the first

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<v Speaker 1>set of guys threw it in a la second set

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<v Speaker 1>of guys threw it out the window.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, I just I got to say, I

0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:23.720
<v Speaker 2>think the second guys are a little more realistic. I

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<v Speaker 2>think the lake was maybe a little more respectful, despite

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<v Speaker 2>the fact that environmentally you're not supposed to be doing that.

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<v Speaker 1>But I feel like, yeah, a lot of people want

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<v Speaker 1>their ashes spread on the water, so that's what I mean.

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<v Speaker 2>So in a way, they were like, hey, we made

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<v Speaker 2>a mistake, but you know, these dogs and this guy,

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<v Speaker 2>they're ready to swim. And what those guys don't know

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<v Speaker 2>is that all three of them drowned, and so it

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<v Speaker 2>was actually kind of a weird place to spread the ashes. Dark.

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<v Speaker 1>The victim this, a woman named Devor Peters, told a

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<v Speaker 1>local NBC affiliate that the ashes belonged to her father

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<v Speaker 1>and that wasn't the only upsetting thing for Deborah. She

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<v Speaker 1>knew the burglars, and I quote, there were people that

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<v Speaker 1>I knew that I never thought would do something like

0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:08.280
<v Speaker 1>this to me.

0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:10.120
<v Speaker 2>She knew them.

0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:14.000
<v Speaker 1>Yes, So, according to cops, they were family acquaintances who

0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:16.480
<v Speaker 1>hatched the plan to rob the house after seeing a

0:12:16.520 --> 0:12:21.160
<v Speaker 1>Facebook post that the residents would be away, which I

0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:23.280
<v Speaker 1>think is worth pausing on for a crime lest public

0:12:23.320 --> 0:12:29.760
<v Speaker 1>service announcement. Yes, listeners, please don't announce your vacations on Facebook, right.

0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:33.840
<v Speaker 2>Yes, go or you know, post about it after the fact, exactly.

0:12:34.040 --> 0:12:36.040
<v Speaker 2>You just don't want to go. Hey, And also, here's

0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:39.360
<v Speaker 2>the code to the garage, Like, leave all that out

0:12:39.400 --> 0:12:39.880
<v Speaker 2>of the post.

0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:45.600
<v Speaker 1>So how do you think they got caught? Tough one?

0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:49.680
<v Speaker 2>Uh? Did they leave something behind?

0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:53.040
<v Speaker 1>No, this is a This is some fancy detective work

0:12:53.080 --> 0:12:53.760
<v Speaker 1>here in Missouri.

0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:57.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh you're talking Colombo. Colombo coming up here.

0:12:57.120 --> 0:12:59.640
<v Speaker 1>So they stole an Xbox and the cops used the

0:12:59.679 --> 0:13:02.120
<v Speaker 1>gaming systems IP address to chase them down.

0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:03.360
<v Speaker 2>Oh man.

0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:09.280
<v Speaker 1>So the sum total of this is that the storting

0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:11.920
<v Speaker 1>of ashes, intentional or otherwise, is at least enough of

0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:15.400
<v Speaker 1>a thing to have given birth to a name, Creamine Lining,

0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:21.800
<v Speaker 1>which is in the Urban Dictionary, defined as quote when

0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:23.600
<v Speaker 1>you snort your dead friend's ashes.

0:13:24.120 --> 0:13:27.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, creamine lining.

0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:30.280
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I did not know this before the other day,

0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:33.120
<v Speaker 1>and I'm slightly horrified. But also I feel like a

0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:34.880
<v Speaker 1>few years from now this will be a trend. It'll

0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:35.680
<v Speaker 1>be a TikTok trend.

0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:40.959
<v Speaker 2>This is like the tide pods, uh thing. Yeah, that's uh.

0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:43.840
<v Speaker 2>That's so I'm led to believe that this is probably

0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:49.200
<v Speaker 2>fairly common across the across the country. We just don't

0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:52.360
<v Speaker 2>know about it as much. Well, not just across the country.

0:13:52.440 --> 0:13:54.000
<v Speaker 1>I got another one from.

0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:58.920
<v Speaker 2>Josh if I I am teeing you up on these transitions.

0:13:59.000 --> 0:14:00.000
<v Speaker 1>Wow, we didn't even play.

0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:04.360
<v Speaker 2>We didn't even play, folks. This is all in real time,

0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:06.280
<v Speaker 2>just happening. It's just happening.

0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:12.439
<v Speaker 1>Ultimately, the trend of creamine lining, so several of these

0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:15.640
<v Speaker 1>things happening in succession. Began a story on Psychology Today

0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:18.720
<v Speaker 1>from twenty seventeen which looked at the so called phenomenon,

0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:21.880
<v Speaker 1>and the story subsequently revealed it to be mostly about

0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:24.400
<v Speaker 1>mistakes and hype. So you don't actually need to worry

0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:26.320
<v Speaker 1>that your kids are doing this. In most cases, I

0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:30.800
<v Speaker 1>don't think they're snorting dead relatives, right. However, Psychology Today

0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:33.320
<v Speaker 1>cited a story from nineteen ninety three is the possible

0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:36.360
<v Speaker 1>origin for all this. Yet again, it's a robbery where

0:14:36.400 --> 0:14:40.000
<v Speaker 1>thieves took ashes thinking it was coke. Yep. In this case,

0:14:40.040 --> 0:14:43.240
<v Speaker 1>the ashes of the victim's mom, Gertrude, were wrapped in

0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:46.000
<v Speaker 1>cellophane and stored in a fishing tackle box, which at

0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:48.360
<v Speaker 1>least seems like a thing you could mistake for someone's

0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:48.920
<v Speaker 1>coke stash.

0:14:49.160 --> 0:14:52.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I gotta say that seems like it would look cocish.

0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:55.360
<v Speaker 1>Also a weird place to like wrap the ashes up

0:14:55.400 --> 0:14:57.200
<v Speaker 1>in selfhane and put them in a tackle box.

0:14:57.720 --> 0:15:00.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. In fact, I now do believe it was coke

0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:03.120
<v Speaker 2>and this is how they.

0:15:03.000 --> 0:15:04.480
<v Speaker 1>Got it dismissed. This is brilliant.

0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:07.360
<v Speaker 2>Yes, these are actually smart criminals.

0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:10.920
<v Speaker 1>So seven years later the British tabloids lit up about

0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:14.120
<v Speaker 1>another robbery, another case where electronics and jewelry and ashes

0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:17.080
<v Speaker 1>were snatched, in another situation where the goofballs who committed

0:15:17.080 --> 0:15:20.160
<v Speaker 1>the robbery seem to have been mistaken, at least temporarily.

0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:23.400
<v Speaker 1>Here's a section quoted in the story from Psychology Today,

0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:26.000
<v Speaker 1>and this one is pulled from the tabloid The Sun

0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:29.080
<v Speaker 1>in England and it's a good one, Okay. A policeman

0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:31.920
<v Speaker 1>called to investigate the break in at Chadwell Heath fell

0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:34.440
<v Speaker 1>about laughing when he saw the burglars had arranged the

0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:36.320
<v Speaker 1>ashes in cocaine style lines.

0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:36.880
<v Speaker 2>Quote.

0:15:37.160 --> 0:15:39.760
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to see their faces when these thieves realize,

0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:42.080
<v Speaker 1>said Vvith. It was horrible knowing that they were in

0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:44.520
<v Speaker 1>my house, but the idea of them trying to get

0:15:44.600 --> 0:15:47.080
<v Speaker 1>high on a dead dog certainly made me feel a

0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:47.600
<v Speaker 1>bit better.

0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:52.160
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I got it. I've never done cocaine, but

0:15:52.280 --> 0:15:56.280
<v Speaker 2>I gotta assume you know immediately that this is not

0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:00.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, can you smoke fake pot? You can smell it,

0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:04.240
<v Speaker 2>but you kind of know it. Maybe it takes a

0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:06.160
<v Speaker 2>second to realize you're probably not going to get hot.

0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:09.080
<v Speaker 2>I think cocaine, don't you know, like instantly, Like aren't

0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:10.040
<v Speaker 2>you immediately?

0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:12.960
<v Speaker 1>And I think it's fair to say, yeah, especially in

0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:15.440
<v Speaker 1>what I imagine the quantities to be here, because like

0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:18.240
<v Speaker 1>I think cocaine lines are typically quite small, and if

0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:20.640
<v Speaker 1>these guys are pouring out piles of ashes, then yeah,

0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:21.680
<v Speaker 1>we're talking scarface.

0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:27.120
<v Speaker 2>Can you imagine we are talking paccino style coke? Bingjing.

0:16:27.280 --> 0:16:31.120
<v Speaker 2>Could you imagine how excited, like before you even do

0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:34.320
<v Speaker 2>the fake coke, your heart is racing thinking we just

0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:37.200
<v Speaker 2>made one hundred thousand dollars.

0:16:39.080 --> 0:16:41.520
<v Speaker 1>I mean yeah. They came to steal an xbox and

0:16:41.840 --> 0:16:44.400
<v Speaker 1>ended up with like a pound of what they believed,

0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:46.400
<v Speaker 1>for a fleeting moment was cocaine.

0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:49.640
<v Speaker 2>This is gonna be the new Oregano. I literally just

0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:52.040
<v Speaker 2>anyone with ashes. But like you know, you could turn

0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:54.440
<v Speaker 2>a dollar if you just get that rid of that

0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:58.480
<v Speaker 2>urn vase and you go uh and you just go

0:16:58.520 --> 0:16:59.640
<v Speaker 2>put it in a bagg.

0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:02.720
<v Speaker 1>You just got to wrap it in selfon and put

0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:04.359
<v Speaker 1>it in a tackle box and leave it out and

0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:07.600
<v Speaker 1>start going around town just like flashing it to people.

0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:09.959
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah.

0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:13.199
<v Speaker 1>So like still, I've read now four stories about this.

0:17:13.280 --> 0:17:16.159
<v Speaker 1>I'm sure there were more. It all seemed deranged to

0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:19.040
<v Speaker 1>me still, and so I stumbled on one more story

0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:21.520
<v Speaker 1>that at least gives it all some context, that it's

0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:25.720
<v Speaker 1>not just boneheaded robbers who snort ashes. Celebrities do it too.

0:17:26.119 --> 0:17:26.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh god.

0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:29.280
<v Speaker 1>So this came out twenty years ago in an interview

0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:32.000
<v Speaker 1>with a British magazine and Emmy and this is a quote.

0:17:33.040 --> 0:17:36.040
<v Speaker 1>The strangest thing I've tried to snort my father. I

0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:38.879
<v Speaker 1>snorted my father. The man said he was cremated, and

0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:41.239
<v Speaker 1>I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit

0:17:41.280 --> 0:17:43.840
<v Speaker 1>of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared. He didn't give

0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:45.600
<v Speaker 1>a shit. Who said it?

0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:52.760
<v Speaker 2>Rory, I mean, I just saw. My instinct is always

0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:59.680
<v Speaker 2>Keith Richards. Yes, ding ding ding ding, or any sort

0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:02.879
<v Speaker 2>of drug thing. I'm like, well, has anyone gone further

0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:04.200
<v Speaker 2>than Keith Richards.

0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:06.119
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I think it's safe to say now the

0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:06.679
<v Speaker 1>answer is no.

0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:11.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's some That's some championship type shit right there.

0:18:11.240 --> 0:18:14.399
<v Speaker 1>He's I mean almost in destructed, maybe totally instructive. I

0:18:14.520 --> 0:18:14.680
<v Speaker 1>like that.

0:18:14.800 --> 0:18:17.560
<v Speaker 2>Keith Richards thought all of our reactions would be but

0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:20.600
<v Speaker 2>won't your dad care? I like it. He was like,

0:18:20.960 --> 0:18:23.919
<v Speaker 2>he wouldn't care yet, No shit, Keith, we're not talking

0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:25.400
<v Speaker 2>about if your dad's gonna care.

0:18:27.880 --> 0:18:29.960
<v Speaker 1>He also said it went down pretty well, and I'm

0:18:29.960 --> 0:18:30.520
<v Speaker 1>still alive.

0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:33.000
<v Speaker 2>At least he mixed some coke in there.

0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:36.040
<v Speaker 1>He did. Yeah, and I'm sure Keith Richards has a

0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:36.520
<v Speaker 1>good blow.

0:18:37.200 --> 0:18:39.200
<v Speaker 2>And his dad's last words were, I wish you would

0:18:39.200 --> 0:18:42.399
<v Speaker 2>have gotten off drugs at some point, and Keith was like,

0:18:42.440 --> 0:18:46.800
<v Speaker 2>I'll show you. I mean, I can't even imagine once

0:18:46.840 --> 0:18:49.639
<v Speaker 2>you've been you know, incinerated like that. I got to

0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:52.240
<v Speaker 2>assume there's some carcinogens at play here. This is not

0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:55.440
<v Speaker 2>This might be actually more unhealthy than doing coke.

0:18:55.520 --> 0:18:58.199
<v Speaker 1>Which brings me to a question I wanted to ask you.

0:18:58.880 --> 0:19:01.119
<v Speaker 1>Is it even safe to or human remains?

0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:05.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I gotta I mean maybe if the person died

0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:08.360
<v Speaker 2>from a coco overdose, that's the only chance you might

0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:14.560
<v Speaker 2>actually get some some percentage of cocaine in there. I

0:19:14.600 --> 0:19:17.840
<v Speaker 2>don't know. I gotta assume no, I mean the carcinogen thing.

0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:24.959
<v Speaker 2>And look, our audience knows this. I am not educated.

0:19:25.400 --> 0:19:29.040
<v Speaker 2>So if I say there's carcinogens in it, don't come

0:19:29.080 --> 0:19:32.119
<v Speaker 2>at me and Josh or attack Josh. Don't attack me.

0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:36.080
<v Speaker 2>Don't come at us with this. There's no carcinogens in there.

0:19:36.240 --> 0:19:38.480
<v Speaker 2>I actually think that's a really smart guess. So I'm

0:19:38.480 --> 0:19:41.080
<v Speaker 2>gonna say it's not healthy carcinogens, all.

0:19:41.040 --> 0:19:43.160
<v Speaker 1>Right, Not to give anything away, but I think you're

0:19:43.160 --> 0:19:46.560
<v Speaker 1>probably onto something here. Yes, And I don't know what

0:19:46.640 --> 0:19:49.040
<v Speaker 1>people did in a situation like this before the Internet,

0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:51.480
<v Speaker 1>but today a big question like this, I'll have to

0:19:51.520 --> 0:19:53.320
<v Speaker 1>do with Google search, and I was both delighted and

0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:56.439
<v Speaker 1>a little horrified to find a robust Reddit thread on

0:19:56.440 --> 0:19:56.880
<v Speaker 1>this very.

0:19:56.760 --> 0:19:59.680
<v Speaker 2>Subtle roun Oh yeah, oh shit.

0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:02.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm not enough of a Reddit guy to figure out

0:20:02.320 --> 0:20:04.320
<v Speaker 1>who started the thread, but I assure you it exists

0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:08.440
<v Speaker 1>and it contains quite a spicy discussion. So you've already

0:20:08.440 --> 0:20:11.600
<v Speaker 1>given me your answer not safe. Let's find out what

0:20:11.640 --> 0:20:16.399
<v Speaker 1>Reddit tells us. Naturally, the most up voted answer is

0:20:16.440 --> 0:20:18.960
<v Speaker 1>some know it all lane, you want to do the

0:20:18.960 --> 0:20:21.280
<v Speaker 1>honors here to we can hear this in a different voice.

0:20:21.280 --> 0:20:23.520
<v Speaker 1>Pretend that you're hearing a Reddit thread writer here.

0:20:24.280 --> 0:20:26.680
<v Speaker 3>I can think of no good reason to snort quote

0:20:26.760 --> 0:20:30.679
<v Speaker 3>unquote ashes, which aren't really ashes but solid particles with

0:20:30.720 --> 0:20:34.280
<v Speaker 3>absolutely no psychoactive effect. If a person wants to snort

0:20:34.320 --> 0:20:37.040
<v Speaker 3>cremated remains of the dead, I would suggest a series

0:20:37.080 --> 0:20:40.160
<v Speaker 3>of visits to a therapist or a psychologist to work

0:20:40.160 --> 0:20:42.560
<v Speaker 3>out issues with the dead person would be more appropriate.

0:20:44.520 --> 0:20:46.560
<v Speaker 1>So that's the top ants. That's the most top voted

0:20:46.600 --> 0:20:49.040
<v Speaker 1>answer from a know it all, And I think you

0:20:49.080 --> 0:20:50.240
<v Speaker 1>know that's wise advice.

0:20:50.280 --> 0:20:52.479
<v Speaker 2>I think I like that it's the most top I

0:20:52.560 --> 0:20:55.280
<v Speaker 2>like that. A lot of people were like, yeah, all right,

0:20:55.320 --> 0:20:56.159
<v Speaker 2>I'll get behind this.

0:20:58.240 --> 0:21:02.480
<v Speaker 1>You should go to a therapist if you're snorting. So

0:21:02.560 --> 0:21:04.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm sure some of these people are just sick ohs.

0:21:04.520 --> 0:21:07.040
<v Speaker 1>But others actually seem to think snorting ashes might be

0:21:07.080 --> 0:21:09.280
<v Speaker 1>a way to connect with a dead loved one, to

0:21:09.359 --> 0:21:12.520
<v Speaker 1>make them part of you. No, Like, here's another one

0:21:12.800 --> 0:21:14.760
<v Speaker 1>from Arizona Lane. You want to read this one too.

0:21:14.960 --> 0:21:15.240
<v Speaker 2>Sure.

0:21:16.000 --> 0:21:17.640
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if a bunch of chemicals are used

0:21:17.640 --> 0:21:20.439
<v Speaker 3>in the cremation process, or if for some reason they

0:21:20.520 --> 0:21:23.080
<v Speaker 3>use any kind of a balming fluid in the body

0:21:23.280 --> 0:21:26.159
<v Speaker 3>previous to burning. These pretty much are the only reasons

0:21:26.200 --> 0:21:30.159
<v Speaker 3>I never snorted George. I certainly thought of it.

0:21:30.840 --> 0:21:32.440
<v Speaker 1>George her husband, I think.

0:21:32.440 --> 0:21:32.520
<v Speaker 2>So.

0:21:32.600 --> 0:21:35.600
<v Speaker 1>This was from a woman who was like, clearly contemplated

0:21:35.640 --> 0:21:39.520
<v Speaker 1>snorting her husband's ashes, but was worried about Rory Carcinogen's.

0:21:39.760 --> 0:21:47.200
<v Speaker 2>I gotta say, I love the brain that isn't that

0:21:47.440 --> 0:21:52.080
<v Speaker 2>is even contemplating maybe doing this, but is actually smart

0:21:52.160 --> 0:21:57.040
<v Speaker 2>enough to consider the logical reasons as to why they shouldn't.

0:21:57.200 --> 0:21:59.000
<v Speaker 1>And naturally went to Reddit to work that out.

0:21:59.320 --> 0:22:03.040
<v Speaker 2>What a cease all life that is. But yes, I

0:22:03.040 --> 0:22:07.120
<v Speaker 2>mean more than likely those cremated remains there is embalming fluid.

0:22:07.160 --> 0:22:11.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure there was potentially a visitation where they've now

0:22:11.520 --> 0:22:14.919
<v Speaker 2>like embalmed the body so that they can put it

0:22:14.960 --> 0:22:17.960
<v Speaker 2>out for you know, put it on display in a

0:22:18.240 --> 0:22:22.000
<v Speaker 2>visitation sort of way, last visitation, and then it gets

0:22:22.040 --> 0:22:24.720
<v Speaker 2>incinerated and all of those chemicals.

0:22:25.040 --> 0:22:26.679
<v Speaker 1>And aren't we full of plastics? Isn't that what I

0:22:26.720 --> 0:22:27.240
<v Speaker 1>keep reading?

0:22:27.640 --> 0:22:32.360
<v Speaker 2>Oh, then it's probably fine. Yeah, now we're all made

0:22:32.359 --> 0:22:33.680
<v Speaker 2>out of microplastics.

0:22:34.359 --> 0:22:35.639
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I think I know the answer to this,

0:22:35.720 --> 0:22:38.440
<v Speaker 1>but I got to finish this particular segment with a

0:22:38.560 --> 0:22:41.280
<v Speaker 1>question Rora, which is, on the tragic occasion that your

0:22:41.320 --> 0:22:44.119
<v Speaker 1>wife predeceases you, would you snort her ashes?

0:22:44.440 --> 0:22:49.280
<v Speaker 2>I like that term predeceases? Would I snort her ashes?

0:22:49.520 --> 0:22:55.000
<v Speaker 2>I think it's safe to say I will not do that.

0:22:55.520 --> 0:22:57.840
<v Speaker 2>All I do is make all these jokes this whole episode,

0:22:57.840 --> 0:23:00.480
<v Speaker 2>and at the end, I'm like, I mean, I try it. Hell,

0:23:00.480 --> 0:23:01.520
<v Speaker 2>come on, it'll be fun.

0:23:03.760 --> 0:23:04.640
<v Speaker 1>Come on, sweetie.

0:23:04.720 --> 0:23:06.800
<v Speaker 2>I would have to be in the darkest place I've

0:23:06.800 --> 0:23:12.240
<v Speaker 2>ever been to also ask someone who hasn't done coke

0:23:12.320 --> 0:23:13.600
<v Speaker 2>but decided to try that.

0:23:17.400 --> 0:23:19.320
<v Speaker 1>I think that's the right answer. When she listens to this,

0:23:19.320 --> 0:23:19.960
<v Speaker 1>she'll be happy.

0:23:20.040 --> 0:23:22.239
<v Speaker 2>She'll be so happy, or she'll be insulted like, oh,

0:23:22.280 --> 0:23:24.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm not good enough. Oh I'm not good as good.

0:23:24.600 --> 0:23:27.160
<v Speaker 1>As coke, as good as Keith Richards's dad.

0:23:27.600 --> 0:23:30.639
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, at least Keith Richards had respect for his father.

0:23:31.720 --> 0:23:35.399
<v Speaker 1>So more fake drugs coming up. Let's all snort some

0:23:35.480 --> 0:23:41.520
<v Speaker 1>caffeinated crystal light and meet back here after the break.

0:23:48.160 --> 0:23:55.399
<v Speaker 1>This is Carlos, Okay, So teen criminals snorting dog bones

0:23:55.400 --> 0:23:57.480
<v Speaker 1>by accident is one thing I think we can agree.

0:23:57.520 --> 0:24:00.240
<v Speaker 1>It's sort of hilarious except to the dog owner. But

0:24:00.280 --> 0:24:01.920
<v Speaker 1>there's a larger theme here too, And I wanted to

0:24:01.920 --> 0:24:04.360
<v Speaker 1>spend what's left of our show talking about people who

0:24:04.400 --> 0:24:08.880
<v Speaker 1>purposely sell fake drugs. Oh oh, and maybe this isn't

0:24:08.880 --> 0:24:10.720
<v Speaker 1>a surprise to you, but the world of fake drug

0:24:10.760 --> 0:24:13.360
<v Speaker 1>sales is robust. There are a lot of people out

0:24:13.359 --> 0:24:18.400
<v Speaker 1>there selling fake, counterfeit pills and powders, like some seriously

0:24:18.440 --> 0:24:20.720
<v Speaker 1>fucked up shit on a massive corporate scale, like a

0:24:20.800 --> 0:24:23.440
<v Speaker 1>the EJ indictment in Texas from February when an Indian

0:24:23.480 --> 0:24:27.880
<v Speaker 1>guy was charged with allegedly selling fake cancer drugs. Oh yeah,

0:24:27.920 --> 0:24:30.760
<v Speaker 1>awful to a case by the US Attorney in New

0:24:30.840 --> 0:24:34.119
<v Speaker 1>York City prosecuted last fall, in which eighteen guys were charged,

0:24:34.400 --> 0:24:38.160
<v Speaker 1>was selling counterfeit fentanyl and other opiates from fake online pharmacies,

0:24:38.200 --> 0:24:41.120
<v Speaker 1>which resulted in nine deaths. So don't want to bum

0:24:41.160 --> 0:24:42.760
<v Speaker 1>you out here. We're gonna move on. I just wanted

0:24:42.760 --> 0:24:44.880
<v Speaker 1>to say that this is rampant, and there are lots

0:24:44.880 --> 0:24:47.159
<v Speaker 1>of stories like this. The Internet and cheap shipping have

0:24:47.240 --> 0:24:50.480
<v Speaker 1>led to a golden age of online drug scams. Extremely

0:24:50.520 --> 0:24:53.240
<v Speaker 1>not funny stuff, but this is crimeless, and I'm going

0:24:53.280 --> 0:24:54.240
<v Speaker 1>to stop bumming you out.

0:24:54.440 --> 0:24:56.760
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, Josh. I mean Jesus, you've got to start

0:24:56.800 --> 0:24:59.359
<v Speaker 2>putting a warning before it gets real.

0:25:00.720 --> 0:25:01.720
<v Speaker 1>I can give you a break. If you want to

0:25:01.760 --> 0:25:04.280
<v Speaker 1>hit your bong, lighten things up, take some of those shrooms.

0:25:05.000 --> 0:25:06.639
<v Speaker 2>If you want to hit your bong and take a

0:25:06.680 --> 0:25:10.639
<v Speaker 2>deep snuff hit real quick, put some tobacco in your bong.

0:25:11.040 --> 0:25:13.680
<v Speaker 2>Don't you love that? That was like headshops back before

0:25:13.760 --> 0:25:16.000
<v Speaker 2>they were like legal, and you'd go in there and

0:25:16.040 --> 0:25:18.280
<v Speaker 2>there'd be a bong and everyone had to pretend that

0:25:18.400 --> 0:25:22.840
<v Speaker 2>was for tobacco. Oh h, could you imagine a tobacco

0:25:23.080 --> 0:25:28.040
<v Speaker 2>hit at that degree. That's a year's worth of cigarettes

0:25:28.119 --> 0:25:28.520
<v Speaker 2>right there.

0:25:28.720 --> 0:25:31.640
<v Speaker 1>Just a guy walking down the street hitting tobacco bong hits.

0:25:31.440 --> 0:25:33.960
<v Speaker 2>Like oh this, Oh no, this is tobacco. This is

0:25:34.000 --> 0:25:39.760
<v Speaker 2>how much I have to smoke. This is technically eighteen

0:25:39.880 --> 0:25:40.560
<v Speaker 2>packs a day.

0:25:41.880 --> 0:25:43.960
<v Speaker 1>All right, so let's resume our journey. Do you think

0:25:43.960 --> 0:25:46.880
<v Speaker 1>it's illegal to sell fake drugs in the small time sense?

0:25:46.920 --> 0:25:49.919
<v Speaker 1>I mean, like a reganos marijuana or an aspirin as

0:25:49.920 --> 0:25:50.359
<v Speaker 1>an oxy.

0:25:50.720 --> 0:25:54.199
<v Speaker 2>Do you think that's against all m I mean I

0:25:54.240 --> 0:25:57.359
<v Speaker 2>guess no, Like something like a regano. You could just

0:25:57.359 --> 0:25:59.080
<v Speaker 2>be like, no, I thought he wanted to buy some.

0:25:59.480 --> 0:26:00.320
<v Speaker 1>It is legal?

0:26:00.400 --> 0:26:03.160
<v Speaker 2>Good? Oh sorry, I'm in illegal. You didn't let me finish.

0:26:03.160 --> 0:26:04.359
<v Speaker 2>I think it's illegal.

0:26:04.720 --> 0:26:07.040
<v Speaker 1>Even if they even if you know they're fake, there

0:26:07.080 --> 0:26:09.640
<v Speaker 1>are state and federal laws against it. In Florida, it's

0:26:09.680 --> 0:26:12.359
<v Speaker 1>illegal to sell or offer someone a controlled substance and

0:26:12.400 --> 0:26:14.520
<v Speaker 1>then actually sell that person a different substance.

0:26:14.920 --> 0:26:18.080
<v Speaker 2>God, just think it's illegal to sell illegal drugs, and

0:26:18.119 --> 0:26:21.160
<v Speaker 2>it's illegal to sell not illegal drugs.

0:26:21.600 --> 0:26:26.280
<v Speaker 1>How is anybody supposed to know what to do? California

0:26:26.359 --> 0:26:30.879
<v Speaker 1>has the California Imitation Controlled Substance Act, which criminalizes both selling,

0:26:30.920 --> 0:26:34.640
<v Speaker 1>imitation and counterfeit drugs, and other states have crime specific

0:26:34.640 --> 0:26:38.320
<v Speaker 1>to selling imitation drugs Louisiana, Maine, New York, Texas, Washington.

0:26:38.520 --> 0:26:41.320
<v Speaker 1>That's not an exhaustive list. Check your local statutes, Rory.

0:26:41.320 --> 0:26:44.000
<v Speaker 1>If you're on tour and you're selling oregano, just check

0:26:44.040 --> 0:26:44.679
<v Speaker 1>the statutes.

0:26:44.800 --> 0:26:47.000
<v Speaker 2>This is good to know because my merch table is

0:26:47.160 --> 0:26:49.880
<v Speaker 2>growing after these stand up shows and I'm selling all

0:26:49.960 --> 0:26:50.920
<v Speaker 2>kinds of stuff.

0:26:51.560 --> 0:26:54.160
<v Speaker 1>Great day and ashes, great Dane.

0:26:53.920 --> 0:26:58.320
<v Speaker 2>Ashes, herbs, ORNs, herbs with ORNs, and vases.

0:26:59.520 --> 0:27:01.680
<v Speaker 1>You can also be charged with fraud in some cases,

0:27:01.720 --> 0:27:04.040
<v Speaker 1>and I'm guessing often you just get your ass kicked.

0:27:05.640 --> 0:27:08.359
<v Speaker 2>That's just street justice. Yeah, street justice.

0:27:09.280 --> 0:27:11.320
<v Speaker 1>Which brings me to an amazing story I stumbled on

0:27:11.400 --> 0:27:13.720
<v Speaker 1>during my research. All credit here to Wece, which I

0:27:13.720 --> 0:27:15.879
<v Speaker 1>think we could all acknowledge, should sort of own, the

0:27:15.920 --> 0:27:18.560
<v Speaker 1>fake drug beat back. When Vice first came to New

0:27:18.600 --> 0:27:20.480
<v Speaker 1>York City in the early odds, they had this magazine

0:27:20.480 --> 0:27:22.520
<v Speaker 1>cover that I will never forget. It was fully mirrored

0:27:22.520 --> 0:27:25.200
<v Speaker 1>with an embossed line of cocaine on it. This was

0:27:25.240 --> 0:27:30.000
<v Speaker 1>the cover of the magazine. Yeah, very cool, very edgy. Actually,

0:27:30.040 --> 0:27:31.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry I'm giving a little bit too much credit

0:27:31.440 --> 0:27:33.520
<v Speaker 1>device because Vice actually took this story from someone else,

0:27:33.880 --> 0:27:35.960
<v Speaker 1>a website called muck rock. I read about it on

0:27:36.000 --> 0:27:38.639
<v Speaker 1>the Vice website, but it was an incredible piece of

0:27:38.680 --> 0:27:41.800
<v Speaker 1>history that was turned up from the declassified CIA archives.

0:27:42.600 --> 0:27:44.920
<v Speaker 1>Back in the early seventies, at the height of reefer madness,

0:27:45.160 --> 0:27:48.439
<v Speaker 1>the extremely square Central Intelligence Agency made a booth for

0:27:48.520 --> 0:27:50.760
<v Speaker 1>display at events. It was one of those booths like

0:27:50.760 --> 0:27:52.520
<v Speaker 1>you see at trade shows, only in this case, it

0:27:52.560 --> 0:27:56.320
<v Speaker 1>was created by the offices quote Office of Medical Services

0:27:56.800 --> 0:27:59.320
<v Speaker 1>to warn parents of officers about the dangers of drug

0:27:59.359 --> 0:28:02.880
<v Speaker 1>abuse and how to spot trouble in your kids. Part

0:28:02.880 --> 0:28:05.000
<v Speaker 1>of this booth was a bag of actual weed, so

0:28:05.080 --> 0:28:07.639
<v Speaker 1>parents could pick it up, hold it, smell it, get

0:28:07.720 --> 0:28:09.719
<v Speaker 1>used to what it looks like. But when the agency

0:28:09.760 --> 0:28:12.520
<v Speaker 1>wanted to take the booth to an AMA medical conference,

0:28:12.760 --> 0:28:15.920
<v Speaker 1>somewhat blanket in the legal department pointed out a problem.

0:28:16.200 --> 0:28:18.520
<v Speaker 1>They'd be crossing state lines with a controlled substance.

0:28:18.880 --> 0:28:21.040
<v Speaker 2>Uh all right, I like that.

0:28:21.240 --> 0:28:23.080
<v Speaker 1>Not okay even for the CIA.

0:28:23.200 --> 0:28:27.119
<v Speaker 2>Yep, I like that. You call them square. So how

0:28:27.160 --> 0:28:30.600
<v Speaker 2>do you think they solved this problem in getting it

0:28:30.640 --> 0:28:31.520
<v Speaker 2>over the state lines?

0:28:31.920 --> 0:28:34.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Like, well, they just decide we can't do we

0:28:34.080 --> 0:28:36.120
<v Speaker 1>can't take weed across state lines, but we do want

0:28:36.160 --> 0:28:38.680
<v Speaker 1>to teach the parents of our officers around America how

0:28:38.720 --> 0:28:39.240
<v Speaker 1>to spot weed.

0:28:39.280 --> 0:28:41.200
<v Speaker 2>So what do you so? They had to go in undercover,

0:28:41.400 --> 0:28:43.040
<v Speaker 2>go to a high school. This is actually how twenty

0:28:43.040 --> 0:28:46.360
<v Speaker 2>one Jump Street got. This is the origin story. This

0:28:46.480 --> 0:28:48.320
<v Speaker 2>is the origin story of twenty one Jump Street. They

0:28:48.600 --> 0:28:50.360
<v Speaker 2>were like, all right, leave the weed here, let's cross

0:28:50.360 --> 0:28:52.680
<v Speaker 2>state lines. We'll buy more weed there from a high

0:28:52.680 --> 0:28:57.080
<v Speaker 2>school kid. I don't know. That is my best guess.

0:28:57.160 --> 0:28:59.360
<v Speaker 1>I mean, that's actually I think that's better than what

0:28:59.400 --> 0:29:04.840
<v Speaker 1>they did was they created fake weed. Oh okay, they

0:29:04.840 --> 0:29:08.760
<v Speaker 1>called it pseudo marijuana. But this Erzat's Mary Jane cooked

0:29:08.800 --> 0:29:11.640
<v Speaker 1>up by the agency scientists was so realistic even when burned,

0:29:11.640 --> 0:29:14.360
<v Speaker 1>that it fooled people. The booth won first prize at

0:29:14.400 --> 0:29:16.720
<v Speaker 1>the conference, which is now maybe my favorite fact about

0:29:16.760 --> 0:29:17.880
<v Speaker 1>the CIA.

0:29:18.240 --> 0:29:21.719
<v Speaker 2>The fact that it's a competition, that it's like a

0:29:21.760 --> 0:29:25.800
<v Speaker 2>science fair. Yeah, you did not see that coming. I

0:29:26.000 --> 0:29:27.920
<v Speaker 2>definitely did not know. You were about to say they

0:29:27.960 --> 0:29:31.080
<v Speaker 2>won first prize at the convention.

0:29:31.640 --> 0:29:36.880
<v Speaker 1>Tax dollars hard at work. Incredible, The CIA weed booth

0:29:36.920 --> 0:29:39.960
<v Speaker 1>won first prize at the American Medical Association conference. Like

0:29:40.000 --> 0:29:41.120
<v Speaker 1>that must have been so proud.

0:29:41.480 --> 0:29:43.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they completely forgot what they were trying to teach.

0:29:44.000 --> 0:29:45.600
<v Speaker 2>All they could focus on was how to win again

0:29:45.600 --> 0:29:47.520
<v Speaker 2>next year and build a dynasty.

0:29:49.360 --> 0:29:51.560
<v Speaker 1>One doctor's wife, who worked as a high school bus

0:29:51.600 --> 0:29:53.880
<v Speaker 1>monitor near San Francisco, had this to say to the

0:29:53.920 --> 0:29:57.200
<v Speaker 1>Saint Louis Post Dispatch. Upon observing the booth light up

0:29:57.280 --> 0:30:00.040
<v Speaker 1>the fake weed. She said, quote, that smells just like

0:30:00.120 --> 0:30:05.120
<v Speaker 1>the back of my bus when she goes back there

0:30:05.480 --> 0:30:07.200
<v Speaker 1>when she drops the kids off.

0:30:07.520 --> 0:30:09.720
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, she drops them off, she goes to the

0:30:09.760 --> 0:30:13.320
<v Speaker 2>back of the bus. Cool mom opens the window a

0:30:13.400 --> 0:30:16.440
<v Speaker 2>little bit. What's on a little Arrowsmith? I think we

0:30:16.480 --> 0:30:17.640
<v Speaker 2>all know what I'm talking about.

0:30:17.720 --> 0:30:19.720
<v Speaker 1>Isn't that called hot boxing? Is that what the kids say?

0:30:20.000 --> 0:30:22.120
<v Speaker 2>Uh? Hot box? It was a hot boxing got a

0:30:22.160 --> 0:30:22.880
<v Speaker 2>school bus.

0:30:25.400 --> 0:30:27.520
<v Speaker 1>So I guess in closing, what's important to remember here

0:30:27.640 --> 0:30:29.880
<v Speaker 1>is that the best maker of fake drugs in America

0:30:30.160 --> 0:30:30.840
<v Speaker 1>is the CIA.

0:30:31.120 --> 0:30:31.560
<v Speaker 2>That's right.

0:30:31.760 --> 0:30:34.440
<v Speaker 1>That's according to Rory Scobel. Please direct well all inquiries

0:30:34.480 --> 0:30:35.560
<v Speaker 1>and investigations to him.

0:30:35.640 --> 0:30:38.520
<v Speaker 2>That's according to the judges, who I can't believe that

0:30:38.640 --> 0:30:40.680
<v Speaker 2>wasn't some sort of an undercover. As soon as the

0:30:40.760 --> 0:30:43.440
<v Speaker 2>judges were like, this is just like real weed. How

0:30:43.440 --> 0:30:45.160
<v Speaker 2>are they not? Like, how do you know that we

0:30:45.320 --> 0:30:48.360
<v Speaker 2>got you? And the judges were all arrested.

0:30:48.640 --> 0:30:50.680
<v Speaker 1>Everything is an elaborate sting that.

0:30:50.680 --> 0:30:52.400
<v Speaker 2>Put them in a tough position. They're like, we should

0:30:52.440 --> 0:30:55.440
<v Speaker 2>technically arrest these judges, but also we do want first place.

0:30:56.360 --> 0:30:57.520
<v Speaker 2>We got to just take the hit.

0:30:57.680 --> 0:31:03.200
<v Speaker 1>We need the ribbon. Yeah, incredible little slice of history there,

0:31:03.200 --> 0:31:05.760
<v Speaker 1>thanks to mock rock advice. I love that so much.

0:31:05.880 --> 0:31:07.440
<v Speaker 1>There's even by the way, and I'll send it to you.

0:31:07.480 --> 0:31:10.160
<v Speaker 1>There's like an illustration of like they did a diagram

0:31:10.240 --> 0:31:12.240
<v Speaker 1>of the booth. Some guy in like the science partment

0:31:12.240 --> 0:31:16.800
<v Speaker 1>at the Central Intelligence Agency sketched out the weed booth. Yeah,

0:31:16.880 --> 0:31:18.680
<v Speaker 1>and it was to classified a few years ago, so

0:31:19.040 --> 0:31:25.200
<v Speaker 1>that means it was classified for several decades. Nice, don't

0:31:25.240 --> 0:31:36.080
<v Speaker 1>let us get out, guys. So special twist this week, Rory,

0:31:36.240 --> 0:31:38.760
<v Speaker 1>I created our final game. And I'm gonna tell you

0:31:39.840 --> 0:31:44.320
<v Speaker 1>are most experienced drug user on this staff. You, Rory Scobel,

0:31:45.520 --> 0:31:48.200
<v Speaker 1>frequent user of snuff and mushrooms.

0:31:48.240 --> 0:31:50.560
<v Speaker 2>Do I present as a drug user?

0:31:53.520 --> 0:31:55.320
<v Speaker 1>You just live in Colorado so my association.

0:31:55.400 --> 0:31:57.960
<v Speaker 2>Look, I have done mushrooms and pot, but that's really

0:31:58.120 --> 0:32:00.760
<v Speaker 2>extent of it, and then pills, but are really counting

0:32:00.800 --> 0:32:01.239
<v Speaker 2>at THEE.

0:32:04.040 --> 0:32:06.280
<v Speaker 1>So I'm gonna ask you, and Lane is also gonna play.

0:32:06.320 --> 0:32:10.800
<v Speaker 1>So you are competings Lane in this and so Lane

0:32:10.840 --> 0:32:15.200
<v Speaker 1>also a massive consumer of narcotics. I've just made that up.

0:32:15.200 --> 0:32:17.680
<v Speaker 3>I have no idea to say that. My mom will listen.

0:32:18.680 --> 0:32:21.240
<v Speaker 2>I believe whatever the media tells me. I was kidding

0:32:21.440 --> 0:32:22.960
<v Speaker 2>Blane's mom. I'm completely joking.

0:32:23.000 --> 0:32:25.840
<v Speaker 1>Rory's mom also wife, family members of both of you.

0:32:26.520 --> 0:32:28.520
<v Speaker 2>I swear I'm clean.

0:32:29.760 --> 0:32:37.280
<v Speaker 1>It's ewan we should be worried about. Okay, So our

0:32:37.320 --> 0:32:40.600
<v Speaker 1>game today is street slang for drugs. I'm gonna read you, guys,

0:32:40.800 --> 0:32:43.640
<v Speaker 1>six slang terms for popular drugs, and you have to

0:32:43.640 --> 0:32:44.720
<v Speaker 1>tell me which one is fake.

0:32:45.320 --> 0:32:46.680
<v Speaker 2>I hope I get all these right.

0:32:46.880 --> 0:32:50.840
<v Speaker 1>So number one adderall, Okay, I'll read all six, and

0:32:50.840 --> 0:32:55.120
<v Speaker 1>then you tell me which one is fake. Beans, co pilots,

0:32:55.680 --> 0:32:59.960
<v Speaker 1>truck drivers, zings, peppers, study.

0:32:59.560 --> 0:33:02.160
<v Speaker 2>Buddies, beans, I'm gonna go beans.

0:33:02.360 --> 0:33:03.120
<v Speaker 1>Are you going beans?

0:33:03.240 --> 0:33:04.840
<v Speaker 2>That's it. We're supposed to pick the fake one.

0:33:04.880 --> 0:33:05.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, the fake one.

0:33:05.480 --> 0:33:08.080
<v Speaker 2>Right, I'm gonna saying you're both wrong.

0:33:08.120 --> 0:33:08.760
<v Speaker 1>It's peppers.

0:33:08.880 --> 0:33:11.440
<v Speaker 2>Okay, you don't have to yell at us.

0:33:13.440 --> 0:33:16.160
<v Speaker 1>This is surprisingly hard because the name nicknames for drugs

0:33:16.160 --> 0:33:17.000
<v Speaker 1>are ridiculous.

0:33:17.280 --> 0:33:19.800
<v Speaker 2>Josh, you might have just turned it into slang for addro.

0:33:19.880 --> 0:33:21.800
<v Speaker 2>Someone heard this, They're like, I'm calling them peppers from

0:33:21.800 --> 0:33:22.000
<v Speaker 2>now on.

0:33:22.080 --> 0:33:24.600
<v Speaker 1>It's gonna be my my proudest moment. I'll be walking

0:33:24.640 --> 0:33:26.080
<v Speaker 1>down the street someday I'll hear.

0:33:27.520 --> 0:33:28.160
<v Speaker 2>Peppers.

0:33:28.520 --> 0:33:35.640
<v Speaker 1>Okay. Number two, Cocaine, dust flake, Avalanche, toot, snow white, Bernice.

0:33:38.040 --> 0:33:39.400
<v Speaker 3>Did you make up the fake ones?

0:33:40.160 --> 0:33:41.479
<v Speaker 1>I did make up the fake ones.

0:33:42.280 --> 0:33:46.600
<v Speaker 2>I mean, Bernice, I'm gonna say toot. I'm gonna go.

0:33:46.920 --> 0:33:50.280
<v Speaker 2>It's I think it's my second guess is Avalanche. I'm

0:33:50.280 --> 0:33:51.200
<v Speaker 2>gonna go Bernice.

0:33:51.560 --> 0:33:54.800
<v Speaker 1>Lane, You're going to I'm going to Avalanche. Rory go

0:33:54.840 --> 0:33:57.560
<v Speaker 1>with your second.

0:33:57.000 --> 0:33:58.520
<v Speaker 2>Half a point half a point, all.

0:33:58.520 --> 0:34:00.240
<v Speaker 1>Right, we'll give you half a point to that you

0:34:00.320 --> 0:34:07.480
<v Speaker 1>were half right. Okay. Number three, meth Chrissy, Christy go shards,

0:34:07.800 --> 0:34:09.120
<v Speaker 1>Tina twin.

0:34:11.520 --> 0:34:16.200
<v Speaker 3>Defensive. I'm gonna go Christy.

0:34:16.880 --> 0:34:20.479
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna go twink. Rory another points one point five

0:34:20.560 --> 0:34:21.040
<v Speaker 2>to zero.

0:34:21.440 --> 0:34:23.720
<v Speaker 3>I'm too pure, it's.

0:34:23.600 --> 0:34:26.200
<v Speaker 1>Too let's just proof that Lane does not use any

0:34:26.239 --> 0:34:29.360
<v Speaker 1>drugs her. Your mom is gonna be so happy vindicated

0:34:29.400 --> 0:34:33.719
<v Speaker 1>by Okay, number three, this is Rory is gonna have

0:34:33.719 --> 0:34:40.520
<v Speaker 1>an unfair advantage here. Bath salts, yep yep okay, bath salts,

0:34:41.120 --> 0:34:51.680
<v Speaker 1>wicked x Ivory missed, drone Bloom Sorry, Vanilla.

0:34:51.280 --> 0:34:59.840
<v Speaker 2>Sky, I mean, I mean just sounds. I'm gonna go.

0:35:00.880 --> 0:35:02.040
<v Speaker 2>I think that's real.

0:35:02.360 --> 0:35:07.560
<v Speaker 3>That's that seems like a basalt varietal. I'm gonna go.

0:35:09.600 --> 0:35:12.640
<v Speaker 1>Vanilla's guy the correct answers, I remissed.

0:35:13.200 --> 0:35:16.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh I thought I've remissed for sure was real?

0:35:17.440 --> 0:35:18.240
<v Speaker 1>Is real?

0:35:18.760 --> 0:35:19.480
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god?

0:35:20.360 --> 0:35:26.719
<v Speaker 2>Me is real? That's insane. Just here to get some mew.

0:35:28.680 --> 0:35:34.200
<v Speaker 1>Okay, And lastly, ketamine, cat valium, honey oil, k fuzz

0:35:34.640 --> 0:35:37.719
<v Speaker 1>kit cat purple, super acid.

0:35:38.520 --> 0:35:40.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna go. Is it my turn to guest? First?

0:35:41.040 --> 0:35:50.080
<v Speaker 2>Sure cat valium blame uh purple, damn it.

0:35:50.719 --> 0:35:52.520
<v Speaker 1>I thought I thought when I saw it super I

0:35:52.520 --> 0:35:55.320
<v Speaker 1>mean super acid is I mean both awesome and ridiculous.

0:35:55.560 --> 0:35:58.640
<v Speaker 2>I mean, super acid is so fun because it's meant

0:35:58.680 --> 0:36:02.040
<v Speaker 2>to be undercut for But it's just naming another drug.

0:36:02.200 --> 0:36:06.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah right, Like, Hey, you got any cocaine? Like, what

0:36:06.160 --> 0:36:09.120
<v Speaker 2>do you mean ketamine? I mean ketamine, but I call

0:36:09.160 --> 0:36:11.240
<v Speaker 2>it I call it different cocaine.

0:36:10.920 --> 0:36:12.320
<v Speaker 1>Call it super cocaine.

0:36:12.440 --> 0:36:16.120
<v Speaker 2>Do you have any super coke? Lane?

0:36:16.160 --> 0:36:17.920
<v Speaker 1>I think you did your mom proud by going oh

0:36:18.040 --> 0:36:21.680
<v Speaker 1>for five coy one and a half, your mom, I.

0:36:21.680 --> 0:36:24.160
<v Speaker 2>Mean, I'm honestly one point five. I'm pretty I'm pretty

0:36:24.160 --> 0:36:26.360
<v Speaker 2>proud of that. You did a great job. Well, congrats

0:36:26.520 --> 0:36:28.960
<v Speaker 2>to Rory. Take that, Lane.

0:36:29.239 --> 0:36:30.680
<v Speaker 1>I feel like, if there's a QUIZZI you want to

0:36:30.719 --> 0:36:32.840
<v Speaker 1>not be good at it, that's one, yeah, bad.

0:36:32.640 --> 0:36:34.840
<v Speaker 2>One, unless you're an undercover cop, which.

0:36:34.640 --> 0:36:39.600
<v Speaker 3>I'm not, or like an undercover drug dealers.

0:36:39.560 --> 0:36:46.640
<v Speaker 2>Which I'm not. Yeah, I exist on both sides.

0:36:46.320 --> 0:36:57.320
<v Speaker 1>Of the fence, all right. That's our show. Crimeless is

0:36:57.320 --> 0:37:00.800
<v Speaker 1>a production of SmartLess Media, Campsite Media and Big Money

0:37:00.800 --> 0:37:05.040
<v Speaker 1>Players in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. It's hosted by Rory

0:37:05.040 --> 0:37:09.040
<v Speaker 1>Scovel and me Josh Dean. Our senior producer is Lane Rose.

0:37:09.280 --> 0:37:12.560
<v Speaker 1>Emma Simonov is our associate producer. We're sound designed and

0:37:12.640 --> 0:37:16.000
<v Speaker 1>engineered by Blake Brook with support from Ewan Letram Ewen.

0:37:16.400 --> 0:37:19.640
<v Speaker 1>Mark McAdam composed our theme song. The executive producers at

0:37:19.640 --> 0:37:24.399
<v Speaker 1>Campside Media are Vanessa Gregoriatis, Matt Cher, and me Josh Dean.

0:37:25.200 --> 0:37:28.320
<v Speaker 1>The executive producers for iHeart Podcasts and Big Money Players

0:37:28.440 --> 0:37:33.840
<v Speaker 1>are Jack O'Brien, Lindsay Hoffmans, and Matt Appadaka for Smartlow's Media.

0:37:34.080 --> 0:37:37.520
<v Speaker 1>The executive producers are Will Arnette, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes,

0:37:37.640 --> 0:37:41.440
<v Speaker 1>and Richard Corson. Bernie Kaminski is head of Production. The

0:37:41.480 --> 0:37:45.040
<v Speaker 1>Associate producer is Mattie McCann. A special thanks to our

0:37:45.080 --> 0:37:48.560
<v Speaker 1>operations team, Ashley Warren and Sabina Mara. Do you have

0:37:48.600 --> 0:37:52.400
<v Speaker 1>a question, comment, or confession for the Crimeless team? Email

0:37:52.480 --> 0:37:55.920
<v Speaker 1>us at Crimeless at campsidmedia dot com. And if you

0:37:56.000 --> 0:37:58.920
<v Speaker 1>enjoyed Crimeless, please rate and review the show wherever you

0:37:58.960 --> 0:38:01.840
<v Speaker 1>get your podcasts. It helps people find the show and

0:38:01.960 --> 0:38:05.040
<v Speaker 1>also makes us feel validated, unless you're mean, in which

0:38:05.080 --> 0:38:07.600
<v Speaker 1>case keep it to yourself. We'll see you next week.

0:38:07.640 --> 0:38:10.480
<v Speaker 1>Crime Listen Nations