WEBVTT - Weirdhouse Cinema: Starcrash 0:00:02.440 --> 0:00:08.719 Welcome to Stuff to Blow your Mind, a production of iHeartRadio. 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:15.160 Hey you welcome to Weird House Cinema. 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:18.000 This is Rob Lamb and this is Joe McCormick, and 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:20.560 today we're going to be talking about the nineteen seventy 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:25.280 eight space fantasy film Star Crash, directed by Luigi Kotzy, 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:31.840 starring Carolyn Monroe, David Hasselhoff, Marjo Gortner, Christopher Plummer, and 0:00:32.000 --> 0:00:36.000 Joe Spinell. What a cast list really like an all 0:00:36.040 --> 0:00:41.680 star bill of different flavors of seventy screen personalities. You've 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:44.760 got alumni of the Sound of Music, The Young and 0:00:44.800 --> 0:00:48.400 the Restless and The Godfather, and you've got hammer horror 0:00:48.479 --> 0:00:51.920 queens and tent revival maniacs all in the same movie. 0:00:51.960 --> 0:00:53.920 That is an assemblage. 0:00:54.000 --> 0:00:58.480 Yeah, there's some great representation from Italian schlock cinema here 0:00:58.520 --> 0:01:01.120 as well, and some exploitation cinema. So it really is 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:07.360 like a sediment of seventies motion pictures where you can 0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:10.160 kind of like dig down and find little gritty bits 0:01:10.160 --> 0:01:10.800 of this and that. 0:01:11.680 --> 0:01:14.920 So the reason we're covering Star Crash on Star Wars 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:18.640 Week here is that despite the protestations of some of 0:01:18.680 --> 0:01:22.600 the film's creators. This is widely viewed as one of 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:26.480 the Star Wars knockoffs of the late seventies and early eighties. 0:01:26.520 --> 0:01:29.880 There were many of these. At the very least, this 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:33.200 is thought of as an attempt to cash in on 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:37.119 the revolutionary box office success of the original Star Wars, 0:01:37.160 --> 0:01:39.399 which came out one year before this was seventy eight. 0:01:39.440 --> 0:01:41.000 Star Wars was seventy seven. 0:01:41.520 --> 0:01:44.320 Yeah, I think we should be clear here for anyone 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:47.480 who's new to weird House cinema when we talk about knockoffs, 0:01:48.400 --> 0:01:51.320 I don't think we've ever discussed a film for weird 0:01:51.360 --> 0:01:54.000 House Cinema that was, in some ways a knockoff that 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:57.520 also didn't bring its own beauty and its own vision 0:01:57.560 --> 0:02:00.680 to the screen. So we say it with a lot 0:02:00.720 --> 0:02:02.880 more love than maybe some critics might say it. 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:07.240 I will make the case that Star Crash is possibly 0:02:07.320 --> 0:02:10.560 the greatest of the Star Wars knockoffs, and we have 0:02:10.720 --> 0:02:13.680 sampled a lot of them. We watched Message from Space. 0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:17.120 You remember that one, the Humanoid. I think that's the 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:18.640 one that had Richard Keel in it. 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:21.200 Yeah, we just re ran that one on Monday for 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:22.280 newer viewers. 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:26.200 Roger Corman's Battle Beyond the Stars with Zibil Danning and 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:28.800 a whole Yeah, that was a whole thing, And they 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:31.440 all have their pleasures. I have enjoyed every one of 0:02:31.480 --> 0:02:34.440 those in its own way. I recall Message from Space 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:37.720 in particular being a lot of fun. But I don't 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:41.880 think that any other one of these achieves the luscious, 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:45.919 insane weirdness of Star Crash. Star Crash, in my opinion, 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:47.880 is in a class of its own. 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:52.440 It really is. It's such a it's such a strange 0:02:52.440 --> 0:02:58.959 film to watch it. It's so bad and yet so irresistible. 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:02.520 Like well, basically I was trying to think of a 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:04.600 good elevator pitch for it, and the best good come 0:03:04.639 --> 0:03:06.720 up with is Star Wars on Acid, but in the 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:10.640 bad way. Like there's there's something kind of delirious and 0:03:10.760 --> 0:03:15.560 overwhelming about everything about it, from its from its visuals 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:19.880 to its just insane dialogue. Like I was having to 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:23.360 like text you while I was rewatching it, because it's like, 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:26.760 how is it that every line in the film is 0:03:26.800 --> 0:03:30.320 somehow like the worst line in the entire film and 0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:33.040 also at the same time, of course the greatest. It's 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:35.280 It's one of these films where it feels like all 0:03:35.320 --> 0:03:38.960 of the dialogue was just created by by alien beings 0:03:39.080 --> 0:03:39.480 or something. 0:03:40.320 --> 0:03:43.640 This film has one particular dialogue exchange that I think 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:46.000 about all the time. It comes into my brain at 0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:48.960 least once a week. It's the scene where the character 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:52.080 Thor is shooting at Marjo Gordoner with his ray gun 0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:54.920 and they raise or not you know, harming him, and 0:03:54.960 --> 0:03:58.760 he says, what, no one can survive these deadly rays, 0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:04.280 and Marjo replies, these deadly rays will be your death. Yeah. 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:06.960 And I couldn't write something like that if I. 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:12.920 Tried, absolutely uh, And then the visuals more than than 0:04:12.960 --> 0:04:13.280 match it. 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:13.800 I was. 0:04:13.840 --> 0:04:16.720 I had to look it up in the Psychotronic Film Guide, 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:20.440 and in it, Michael Weldon describes the film's effects as 0:04:20.920 --> 0:04:24.640 quote garishly attractive, especially to young people and people under 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:28.400 the influence of controlled substances. And it really does have 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:31.279 that vibe. It's just I mean, at times, it's it's 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:34.560 very overt like space in this film is like a 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:39.120 lava lamp. It is it is colorful, it's you know, 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:42.400 it's it's it's we're getting every every flavor of the 0:04:42.440 --> 0:04:45.719 nebula here a very spell jammer in its sense of 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:48.960 the cosmos, not the not just the dark, unforgiving void. 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:54.159 What all dressed potato chips are to flavor, this movie 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:58.720 is to visual texture. It is a bombardment of color 0:04:58.960 --> 0:05:02.919 and texture and just all kinds of visual weirdness on 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:06.520 the eyes. It is not the most visually artful thing 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:10.200 I've ever seen, but it's not gonna leave your eyes hungry. 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:12.560 You know, you're not gonna go away being like, I 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:14.839 don't know if I saw anything all that interesting. It 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:17.240 is a it is an assault on the eyes. 0:05:17.760 --> 0:05:20.239 Weldon also pointed out that this is a film where, 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:25.640 certainly for the time, they tried every sort of special 0:05:25.680 --> 0:05:29.360 effect and the results range, I think he said, from 0:05:30.320 --> 0:05:33.320 from bad to almost good. But there is kind of 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:37.520 like it's a charming aspect of it as well. You love, 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:40.640 there's something about a film that, yeah, it's it's making 0:05:40.640 --> 0:05:42.640 a lot of swings and it's also making it's a 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:46.599 lot of misses involved here, But there's there. There's some 0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:48.880 lovingly cheesy effects in this movie. 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:52.360 There are some pretty nasty looking video effects that they 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:54.120 use for the hyperspace sequence. 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:56.560 Oh god, that's an assault on the eyes. 0:05:56.320 --> 0:05:59.960 Yes exactly. But you know one that I really loved. 0:06:00.560 --> 0:06:02.680 I don't know, I'm just a sucker for stop motion anyway. 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:05.880 But the stop motion robots, the two Golams that look 0:06:05.960 --> 0:06:06.960 like ducks. 0:06:07.360 --> 0:06:09.920 Actually they look like B one Battle droids. I thought 0:06:09.960 --> 0:06:12.120 it was that there are several ways that this film 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:17.000 kind of prophesizes future Star Wars, actual Star Wars installments, 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:19.720 and one way is that these two battle droid these 0:06:19.720 --> 0:06:22.240 two robots look kind of like B one Battle droids 0:06:22.279 --> 0:06:24.760 from from the the prequel films. 0:06:24.920 --> 0:06:30.760 They're not droids robed, they're golams. Golams, that's what they've called. Now. 0:06:30.800 --> 0:06:34.479 As for the originality debate, I mentioned that some of 0:06:34.520 --> 0:06:37.680 the film's creators have insisted that this is not a 0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:40.839 Star Wars ripoff. One example is the director of the film, 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:44.000 Luigi Kotsi. He has said this is not a Star 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:48.280 Wars clone. The idea and story concept for Starcrash predates 0:06:48.320 --> 0:06:51.839 the release of Star Wars. I can believe there may 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:55.680 be some truth to this, but based on everything I've read, 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:59.640 here's my best guess. It seems to me like Cotzy 0:06:59.800 --> 0:07:03.839 may have been wanting to develop a space fantasy or 0:07:03.880 --> 0:07:07.280 space opera movie before the release of Star Wars, and 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:11.520 some of those ideas end up becoming Star Crash. But 0:07:11.560 --> 0:07:13.800 at the same time, you just cannot deny that Star 0:07:13.840 --> 0:07:17.640 Wars influence the ultimate form and execution of this movie. 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:19.280 I mean, this movie has lightsabers in it. 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:23.160 Yeah, so yeah, most Star Wars stars shy away from that, 0:07:23.160 --> 0:07:24.920 but this one just straight up as a lightsaber. 0:07:25.240 --> 0:07:28.400 So some Star Wars is coming through. The signal is 0:07:28.480 --> 0:07:31.600 coming through here. Also, I think it would be hard 0:07:31.640 --> 0:07:35.040 to deny that the project's ability to receive funding and 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:40.480 accelerated production timeline was driven by the success of Star Wars. 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:44.760 So I can believe that this movie pre dated Star 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:49.560 Wars in its inspiration, and in fact, you can see 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:52.720 ways that that might even that might even not go 0:07:52.840 --> 0:07:56.200 to originality, like you can see ways that earlier movies 0:07:56.240 --> 0:07:59.680 than Star Wars also influenced Star Crash. I think a 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:02.960 bunch of Star CRUSH's DNA can be sourced to Barbarella 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:05.680 starring Jane Fonda, which came out in nineteen sixty eight. 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:09.440 But I think the business logic of this production and 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:13.280 the final texture of the movie are quite obviously heavily 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:14.559 influenced by Star Wars. 0:08:14.800 --> 0:08:18.160 Yeah, yeah, I think it's undeniable. But at the same time, yeah, 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:20.760 the filmmakers here were likely inspired by some of the 0:08:20.800 --> 0:08:23.000 same things that inspired George Lucas. 0:08:23.320 --> 0:08:25.320 Right, but old cereals Yeah, old. 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:28.920 Cereals, old Flash Gordon, old Harry Housen films. But yeah, 0:08:28.920 --> 0:08:31.000 at the end of the day, the bottom line is, 0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:34.280 like Star Wars, the original picture is just was too 0:08:34.320 --> 0:08:36.960 much of a financial hit and too much of a 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:41.360 like a cultural phenomenon not to influence everything that came 0:08:41.400 --> 0:08:43.800 after and make it even a desirable influence. Like how 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:48.439 many people had an idea and then they realized, Hey, producers, 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:50.920 they know what's up. They have a feeling. This is 0:08:50.920 --> 0:08:53.280 what's going to sell. If I just lean into the 0:08:53.360 --> 0:08:56.840 Star warsiness of this concept I already had, I just 0:08:56.960 --> 0:08:58.120 might get this picture made. 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:01.080 Yeah, you know, one big way I would say this 0:09:01.160 --> 0:09:04.480 movie differs from Star Wars esthetically is it does not 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:09.800 have that core feeling of space being lived in that 0:09:09.920 --> 0:09:13.559 Star Wars does. You know? This movie does not have 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:17.080 the grimy old couch cushions on the Millennium falcon. This 0:09:17.240 --> 0:09:22.319 is much more like the pristine Flash Gordon space environment. Yeah. 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:25.040 Yeah, they're going for something shinier, even when it kind 0:09:25.040 --> 0:09:29.240 of strains the budget to make it. So, all right, Well, 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:31.200 if you were wondering at this point, where can I 0:09:31.240 --> 0:09:34.599 watch Star Crash? Luckily for you, it is widely available. 0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:39.160 Roger Corman's New World Pictures picked this film up and 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:42.240 distributed it. As I understand it, this was the same 0:09:42.320 --> 0:09:46.240 year they distributed Cronenberg's The Brewed by the Way. Shout 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:48.720 Factory put out a nice blu ray of the film, 0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:50.439 and I think they may have put it there's I 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:52.800 think likely a DVD version of that as well. And 0:09:52.880 --> 0:09:56.000 if you're an MST three K fan, this was riffed 0:09:56.040 --> 0:09:58.920 in I believe twenty seventeen by Jonah in the Bots. 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:01.160 I've not seen the riff but I do have the 0:10:01.480 --> 0:10:04.719 two disc DVD edition, so the older version of the 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:06.600 disc that's got all the special features. 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:09.680 I think the time that i'd watched this previously, I 0:10:09.720 --> 0:10:12.319 watched it with my wife. We watched the MST three 0:10:12.400 --> 0:10:15.480 K version, and I remembered it being a lot of fun. 0:10:15.559 --> 0:10:17.520 But you know, but I was watching it in a 0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:19.880 social scenario and it was riff so I really didn't 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:24.760 get to focus in on the authentic weirdness of Star Crash. 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:27.880 So this time, yeah, I watched it straight up and 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:31.640 it's yeah, it's still, this is a film. I love 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:34.080 a great riff on a film like this, but this 0:10:34.160 --> 0:10:36.680 is a film that doesn't even need riffing. It is 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:39.880 just the quality is already perfect. 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:43.160 I think some of the space battle scenes could benefit 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:47.760 from some some enlivening by by commentary. Those kind of 0:10:47.840 --> 0:10:50.480 dragged on for me a bit. But yeah, any scene, 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:54.240 any scene with dialogue and costumes, I don't need anything else. 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:06.320 All right, Well, let's talk a little bit about the 0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:10.520 folks involved here. We already mentioned Luigi Cootzi, the writer 0:11:10.640 --> 0:11:15.040 and director born nineteen forty seven, Italian director, probably best 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:18.080 known for this film, his two Hercules films, one of 0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:21.280 which we covered on Weird House Cinema recently. That would 0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:26.560 be Luf Forigno as the Hulk, and also for his 0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:27.840 work with Dario Argento. 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:32.199 That's interesting. I was going to compare this film's lighting 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:33.800 and color palette to Argento. 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:36.680 Well there you go. I mean there's aception. Yeah, yeah, 0:11:36.720 --> 0:11:42.959 a little bit. It's tough though, I think in large 0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:45.280 part like this is just not the sort of cinematic 0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:50.040 world that Argento ever went after. You know, I don't 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:52.520 think he ever did anything. He certainly never did a 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:55.600 space opera. Missed opportunity there, but hey, maybe there's time. 0:11:56.120 --> 0:11:59.800 Well, I just mean the you know, the unrealistic but 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:03.200 a stylish use of gel lights and the kind of 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:07.559 rooms and walls that glow with an overwhelming color hue. 0:12:07.960 --> 0:12:10.800 Yeah. But I think where it becomes harder for me 0:12:11.200 --> 0:12:13.920 to see that is just because the sorts of things 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:16.439 that are being lit here, Like everything is so artificial 0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:20.760 in this movie, and Argento was always lighting. I mean, 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:24.360 I guess Argento use sets, but always lighting something that 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:27.000 at least aspired to be a real world environment, you. 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:29.640 Know, lighting an airport that way or something. 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:34.719 Yeah. So, Cosey's first film was a nineteen sixty nine 0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:37.640 low budget adaptation of Frederick Pohle's novella of a Tunnel 0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:41.240 under the World. This apparently got Argento's attention, and he 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:44.760 subsequently worked subsequently worked on Argento's nineteen seventy one film 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:48.480 Four Flies on Gray Velvet, earned a story credit, and 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:51.600 he also worked on Argento's nineteen seventy three action comedy 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:55.160 The Five Days, and he directed his own Ghallo film 0:12:55.200 --> 0:12:59.439 with nineteen seventy fives The Killer Must Kill Again. Great 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:00.000 Shalla tie. 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:05.240 Now remember if I've seen that one Not only did 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:08.360 he direct today's epic Star Wars Star Wars cash In, 0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:12.239 he also helmed the notorious nineteen eighty alien cash In Contamination. 0:13:13.720 --> 0:13:15.920 I've seen part of that one and then I started 0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:17.959 falling asleep, But I do want to pick it up 0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:19.199 sometimes again. 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:22.360 I've read that it has some really good exploding people 0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:26.120 in it. And there is one scene from this movie 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:29.800 that is sampled in a very a way that I 0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:32.640 liked a lot in a Blood Incantation album. 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:36.080 Oh yes, yes, oh yes, yes, I think I've heard that, 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:39.040 all right, let's see. Other than that, he also worked 0:13:39.040 --> 0:13:42.320 in various roles on other Argento projects, and was second 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:47.720 assistant director on the notorious Klaskinsky Nosferatu sequel Vampire in Venice. 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:51.920 Pretty notorious because it was one of these projects where 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:55.840 everybody hated making it and nothing came out as it 0:13:55.880 --> 0:13:56.480 was supposed to. 0:13:57.240 --> 0:14:00.000 But laus Kinsky movie that people didn't have fun. 0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:04.120 Now, well I don't think anyone ever really had. I 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:05.640 don't want to get too much on m Kinski since 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:08.040 he's not even in this film, but yeah, it's pretty 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:11.439 it's pretty high up there in horror stories about about 0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:14.640 filming with him. But yeah, he had a hand in 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:18.600 that as well. All right, let's get into the cast here, 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:22.880 that that wonderful nineteen seventies cast that we alluded to earlier, 0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:27.840 starting with Marjo Gordoner, who plays Acton. He has our 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:30.320 I don't know what Acton's last name is. I was 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:33.480 thinking I was watching maybe it's Jackson, maybe he's acting 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:35.080 Jackson or something. 0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:38.240 But very nice. It is funny that this is He's 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:41.120 not the main character. He's not, but he gets top billing. 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:44.680 But his name first, yeahs, as we're about to discuss. 0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:46.760 I think it's just he was. He was a pretty 0:14:46.880 --> 0:14:49.840 hot commodity at this point. So he was born in 0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:53.880 nineteen forty four and just as a truly fascinating individual, 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:57.680 certainly as far as like pop cultural figures go, because 0:14:57.720 --> 0:15:01.280 he was born into the world of Pinnecock hostile evangelism 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:04.080 and began preaching at the age of four. 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:09.120 Yeah, so a child prodigy, tent revival preacher. 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:12.960 Yeah, which I've never seen anything like this in action 0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:16.960 and live or on video, so like, I can't even imagine. 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:19.240 I feel like if I'm listening to a preacher, I 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:22.120 like somebody with a little bit of world, real world experience, 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:23.640 you know, it's kind of like a stand up comedian, 0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:27.000 you know, you want to connect with the with the like, well, 0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:28.920 what's a four year old going to say that really 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:32.800 connects with an adult audience member. But I mean, I guess, 0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:34.800 I guess they found a way because there are other 0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:37.920 examples of this sort of thing as well. Yes, so, yeah, 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:40.560 so he was, Yeah, he was a sensation, a child prodigy, 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:43.080 a faith healer at least later on. I don't know 0:15:43.080 --> 0:15:45.680 if he was actually faith healing at age four. But 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:50.040 then eventually he grows disillusion with the whole scene, and 0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:53.440 certainly by age sixteen, decides that he's thinking about getting 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:55.880 out of it. And then he famously allowed a film 0:15:55.920 --> 0:15:59.760 crew to follow him around during his final year in evangelism, 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:04.840 leading to the Oscar winning documentary Marjo in nineteen seventy two. 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:08.080 And we've actually had listeners right in. I think back 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:10.720 in twenty twenty, we had a listener right in about 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:12.760 this saying, hey, you've got to watch you got to 0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:15.000 check out this documentary. I've never seen it, but we 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:17.040 heard from a listener by the name of Forrest who 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:21.400 said that it's incredible and that it's you know, it 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:25.760 gets into a lot of these elements of like you know, 0:16:26.080 --> 0:16:30.720 manipulation and so forth, like it's it's supposed to be 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:32.320 really good. I've not seen it myself. 0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:35.280 He's like, here's how we scam people out of money. 0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:39.080 Here's where we get yeah, yeah, real really reveals the 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:43.680 inner workings of the operation. Yeah. So after this he 0:16:43.800 --> 0:16:49.200 springboarded from evangelism and then you know, certainly the theme 0:16:49.280 --> 0:16:52.040 that came with this documentary, and he gets into music, 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:55.200 he gets into acting. He did some TV work starting 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:58.240 in seventy three, and appeared in his first theatrical film, 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:02.320 Earthquake in seventy four Let's See and then subsequent credits 0:17:02.320 --> 0:17:06.480 include some starring vehicles and certainly he's the top build 0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:10.120 on this picture. But his starring vehicles include bert Eye 0:17:10.160 --> 0:17:12.320 Gordon's The Food of the Gods in seventy six. 0:17:12.920 --> 0:17:14.080 I've been wanting to watch that. 0:17:14.720 --> 0:17:18.320 Always up for Bertie Gordon, and his post Star Crash 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:22.920 credits include eighty three's Mausoleum, eighty four's Jungle Warriors, eighty 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:26.160 five's Hell Hole, and eighty nine's American Ninja. Three. 0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:28.720 Does that one have the guy from Empire of the 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:29.280 Dark in it? 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:32.639 Yes, it does. It certainly does I was noting that 0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:37.199 his last two films are also notable in different ways. 0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:40.520 On one level, ninety five's Wild Bill seems like the 0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:42.880 classy way to go out because he has a role 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:45.680 as a preacher in that in a very stacked cast 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:49.600 that includes Jeff Bridges as wild Bill Hiccock. I haven't 0:17:49.640 --> 0:17:52.200 seen it. Maybe it's not any good, but on paper 0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:55.639 it sounds really good. And then he's in nineteen ninety 0:17:55.720 --> 0:17:59.840 nine's The Debtors. This is a film directed by Evy Quaid, 0:18:01.080 --> 0:18:05.840 co starring or starring Randy Quaid, also also udo Kira 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:09.080 is in it, and it's and then the top build 0:18:09.119 --> 0:18:12.000 actor in it is Michael Caine, and then the casting 0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:15.120 is gets weirder from there. There's some other notable mentions. 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:17.560 Apparently this one was not released for a long time, 0:18:17.600 --> 0:18:18.840 and it's still kind of hard to get. 0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:20.760 I'm intrigued. 0:18:20.920 --> 0:18:24.640 Yeah, it's a film that I had to double check 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:26.280 a couple of times to make sure it was real, 0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:29.159 because I'm like, am I being a Is this a scam? 0:18:29.280 --> 0:18:32.600 Is this somebody's joke? The student really exists? This sounds 0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:34.520 like a joke, but no, it is apparently quite real. 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:36.880 It would be funny to make that up. Yeah. Yeah, 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:41.640 oh man, I was gonna say, I'm always intrigued by 0:18:41.720 --> 0:18:44.840 the presence of Udo Kier, which is funny because I 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:47.480 shouldn't be intrigued because he would do anything. 0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:51.119 Yeah. Yeah, He's definitely one of those actors that isn't 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:55.399 It doesn't matter what the quality of the film is. 0:18:55.480 --> 0:18:58.000 He's he's going to show up and he's gonna be Mimoss. 0:18:58.240 --> 0:19:04.080 Yeah, yes, be in your movie. So I thought it 0:19:04.080 --> 0:19:08.439 was kind of interesting knowing all this stuff about Marjo 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:12.520 Gordoner having a I don't know, this incredible history and 0:19:13.080 --> 0:19:16.840 being this skilled preacher also sort of a con artist 0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:22.040 manipulator at least in his early years, and then going 0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:25.280 through this, you know, like exposing at how everything works 0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:29.520 and all that, because I would have expected his screen 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:33.160 presence to be more interesting and commanding and all that, 0:19:33.280 --> 0:19:33.920 you know what I mean. 0:19:34.119 --> 0:19:36.919 Absolutely, Like I feel like I really owe it to 0:19:37.000 --> 0:19:40.760 him to see another Marjoe film to glimpse this much 0:19:40.800 --> 0:19:43.399 touted charisma, because he's just stiff as a board in 0:19:43.440 --> 0:19:47.320 this picture, like just lifeless, Like, where where is this 0:19:47.480 --> 0:19:49.240 natural charisma I'm supposed to see here? 0:19:49.600 --> 0:19:52.360 Well, one way in which I could make the connection 0:19:52.480 --> 0:19:54.960 to the life story is if you know what I 0:19:55.000 --> 0:20:00.640 mean here, he often doesn't feel like he's playing a character. 0:20:00.960 --> 0:20:04.199 He feels more like he is saying his lines in 0:20:04.240 --> 0:20:08.760 the way an announcer or a master of ceremonies would say. 0:20:08.960 --> 0:20:13.600 He feels like a presenter type performer rather than a 0:20:13.920 --> 0:20:16.320 player of a character. Does that make any sense? 0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:19.359 Yes, And you know, I think that goes for just 0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:22.359 about everyone in the picture. Like pretty much every scene 0:20:22.520 --> 0:20:27.000 in Star Crash, you could interpret it not as drama, 0:20:27.440 --> 0:20:30.640 not as narrative, but his ritual, some sort of ritual 0:20:30.680 --> 0:20:34.520 that must be carried out in order to bring about 0:20:34.560 --> 0:20:38.240 some sort of event in this world or the next. 0:20:38.560 --> 0:20:41.880 Right, They're not playing characters, They're reciting a liturgy. 0:20:42.160 --> 0:20:44.600 Yeah, that is how it feels. 0:20:44.680 --> 0:20:49.560 Yeah. Okay, So even though he gets top billing, the 0:20:49.600 --> 0:20:52.800 real main character of this movie is obviously still a 0:20:52.840 --> 0:20:54.600 star played by Caroline Monroe. 0:20:55.040 --> 0:21:00.119 That's right. She is the structural protagonist as much as 0:21:00.160 --> 0:21:02.200 you can say anything has structure in this film. 0:21:02.840 --> 0:21:03.160 But yeah. 0:21:03.200 --> 0:21:05.439 Born nineteen forty nine, pin up model an actress who 0:21:05.480 --> 0:21:08.560 stole many of seventy's film nerds. Hearts with the genre 0:21:08.600 --> 0:21:10.720 appearances and the likes of The Spy Who Loved Me 0:21:10.880 --> 0:21:14.760 seventy seven, Maniac in nineteen eighty which we'll come back to, 0:21:15.200 --> 0:21:17.960 Slaughter High in eighty six. She's in Dracula eighty nineteen 0:21:18.040 --> 0:21:22.320 seventy two, The Golden Voyage of Sinbad seventy three, Captain 0:21:22.359 --> 0:21:26.120 Cronos Vampire Hunter seventy four, At the Earth's Core seventy six. 0:21:26.880 --> 0:21:29.240 She also coming back to other films we've discussed in 0:21:29.280 --> 0:21:31.840 the show before. She has a cameo as the dearly 0:21:31.880 --> 0:21:36.199 departed wife of Doctor Fibes, and seventy one's The Abominable 0:21:36.200 --> 0:21:39.600 Doctor Fibes, And I think we may sneak a peek 0:21:39.640 --> 0:21:41.760 at a snapshot of her in the sequel as well. 0:21:42.200 --> 0:21:43.000 Yeah, I think so. 0:21:43.720 --> 0:21:46.640 Her horror credits also include, in addition to The Slasher 0:21:46.720 --> 0:21:49.920 Maniac nineteen eighty eights, The Howl of the Devil starring 0:21:49.920 --> 0:21:52.080 Paul Nashy. So she's just all over the place. 0:21:52.200 --> 0:21:54.159 Yeah, we've talked about How of the Devil on the 0:21:54.160 --> 0:21:56.760 show before, haven't We didn't do an episode on it. 0:21:56.760 --> 0:21:59.840 It's come up just in reciting the list of the 0:22:00.000 --> 0:22:01.639 different Paul nashi Werewolf films. 0:22:01.800 --> 0:22:04.080 I think that one's a little sleazier than I would 0:22:04.080 --> 0:22:06.639 have fun doing on the show, but it is I 0:22:06.640 --> 0:22:09.000 don't know. If you've got a strong stomach, it's worth 0:22:09.000 --> 0:22:13.320 a watch, especially because it's one of these movies where 0:22:14.359 --> 0:22:17.680 you can feel different creative forces coming to a head. 0:22:17.720 --> 0:22:21.919 They're like clashing. Obviously, the pitch for this movie is 0:22:22.200 --> 0:22:25.359 it is a sleazy slasher movie. That's the business pitch. 0:22:25.720 --> 0:22:29.440 But then Paul Nashi is helming it and he's like, well, 0:22:29.520 --> 0:22:30.919 I want to do a movie where I get to 0:22:30.920 --> 0:22:34.199 play all of the universal monsters. Oh yes, yes, So 0:22:34.280 --> 0:22:37.520 he plays a character who is dead but was an 0:22:37.600 --> 0:22:41.600 actor and appears to a member of his family in 0:22:41.640 --> 0:22:44.159 the form of all the universal monsters in all of 0:22:44.200 --> 0:22:46.399 his appearances, just for no particular reason. 0:22:46.720 --> 0:22:50.399 Yeah, that sounds like classic Nashi there where it's the 0:22:50.440 --> 0:22:54.960 Spanish horror world is moving on beyond the gothic horror film, 0:22:55.680 --> 0:22:58.000 but he's forcing its hand. It's like, we can get 0:22:58.000 --> 0:23:00.199 just a little more monster mash out of all this. 0:23:01.160 --> 0:23:04.320 Let's see worth noting here that Monroe was married to 0:23:04.400 --> 0:23:07.840 musician Judd Hamilton at the time, and it is Judd 0:23:07.880 --> 0:23:10.600 Hamilton that is apparently in the suit playing the law 0:23:10.640 --> 0:23:14.240 enforcement robot l not his voice, but he is in 0:23:14.280 --> 0:23:17.879 the suit. We should also mention that this is one 0:23:17.920 --> 0:23:21.160 of those films. This is often the case with European 0:23:21.200 --> 0:23:25.040 genre films from this time period. Everybody's dubbed. Some of 0:23:25.080 --> 0:23:27.960 the American or English speaking actors did their own dubbing, 0:23:28.680 --> 0:23:31.800 but some did not. And supposedly Candy Clark does the 0:23:31.880 --> 0:23:33.720 dubbing here for Monroe's character. 0:23:34.119 --> 0:23:36.919 That is bizarre. I came across that same claim, and 0:23:36.960 --> 0:23:39.520 I was just thinking, doesn't sound like Candy Clark to me, 0:23:39.600 --> 0:23:41.400 But I don't know. That's what I read. 0:23:41.440 --> 0:23:47.240 Yeah, yeah, so yea, that's what folks say. And as 0:23:47.359 --> 0:23:49.320 much as I understand it, I think it had to 0:23:49.320 --> 0:23:51.159 do with scheduling more than anything. Like it was a 0:23:51.160 --> 0:23:53.960 situation where they just couldn't necessarily get everybody to dub 0:23:54.000 --> 0:23:56.960 their own lines. All right, well, let's talk about Christopher 0:23:56.960 --> 0:24:00.679 Plumber here. He plays the emperor, but not that emperor. 0:24:00.680 --> 0:24:03.960 Even this is a rather different emperor. This is not Palpatine. 0:24:03.960 --> 0:24:06.640 This is a this is a good guy emperor. This 0:24:06.680 --> 0:24:11.160 is more of like a Holy Jesus Emperor, Holy Space 0:24:11.280 --> 0:24:12.080 Jesus Emperor. 0:24:12.320 --> 0:24:15.160 This is a Star Wars where the empire is good 0:24:15.200 --> 0:24:16.359 and the rebels are bad. 0:24:16.840 --> 0:24:20.960 It is, really it really is. But yes, this is 0:24:21.080 --> 0:24:23.399 This is Christopher Plumber, who lived nineteen twenty nine through 0:24:23.400 --> 0:24:28.719 twenty twenty one. Yeah, Oscar Winner reportedly only took this 0:24:28.960 --> 0:24:30.840 role in order to get a free trip to Rome. 0:24:30.920 --> 0:24:33.600 I think that's what he said in subsequent interviews. 0:24:35.040 --> 0:24:37.400 But he said he said, I would do Porno if 0:24:37.400 --> 0:24:40.320 I got to go to Rome to do it. Yeah, 0:24:40.320 --> 0:24:41.320 I just loved Rome. 0:24:42.520 --> 0:24:44.840 Yeah, not to be clearly, Also, he also was paid 0:24:44.880 --> 0:24:46.760 for this picture. It wasn't just the trip to Rome. 0:24:47.160 --> 0:24:50.280 And also, I'll say over the decades, decades and decades 0:24:50.280 --> 0:24:54.400 of work, he was very prolific. He did a lot 0:24:54.400 --> 0:24:57.040 of different sorts of films, good and bad, and I 0:24:57.040 --> 0:24:59.000 don't think he always got a trip to Rome out 0:24:59.000 --> 0:25:02.160 of the bad ones. So he might have been having 0:25:02.200 --> 0:25:04.119 a fair amount of fun with that statement as well. 0:25:04.320 --> 0:25:06.359 This is the first time I think we've covered a 0:25:06.440 --> 0:25:10.160 Christopher Plumber film, but we have covered films featuring his daughter, 0:25:10.200 --> 0:25:11.359 Amanda Plumber before. 0:25:12.520 --> 0:25:15.040 Oh yeah, wasn't she in the Prophecy? 0:25:15.160 --> 0:25:17.560 She was in the Prophecy, she was in Free Jack. 0:25:18.720 --> 0:25:19.640 Yeah, I thought about that. 0:25:19.720 --> 0:25:23.960 Yeah, she's one of my favorites. Let's see Christopher Plumber's 0:25:23.960 --> 0:25:26.640 credits include just to name a few, and really there's 0:25:26.800 --> 0:25:28.919 just they're way too many to even do justice to 0:25:28.960 --> 0:25:31.080 his full filmography. But he was in sixty five's The 0:25:31.119 --> 0:25:33.920 Sound of Music, sixty seven is The Night of the Generals, 0:25:34.800 --> 0:25:38.800 seventy three's The Picks. If I'm saying that correctly, p 0:25:38.960 --> 0:25:43.359 y X. This is a horror film of a sort 0:25:43.400 --> 0:25:44.120 that I haven't seen. 0:25:44.680 --> 0:25:45.520 I'll see. 0:25:45.520 --> 0:25:48.040 Seventy five's The Man Who Would Be King. I believe 0:25:48.040 --> 0:25:51.359 he plays Kipling in that. That used to be one 0:25:51.400 --> 0:25:53.280 of my favorites. I haven't seen it in a long time. 0:25:53.960 --> 0:25:57.439 Seventy nine's Murdered by Decree nineteen eighties, Somewhere in time. 0:25:57.600 --> 0:25:58.960 Eighty four's Dreamscape. 0:25:59.359 --> 0:26:00.960 Oh, I just had to look that one up to 0:26:01.080 --> 0:26:03.040 make sure that's the one I was thinking of. Yeah. 0:26:03.040 --> 0:26:05.400 I just recently watched that one within the past year 0:26:05.480 --> 0:26:09.600 with Dennis Quaid, and it's like, it's a dream Warriors 0:26:09.600 --> 0:26:12.560 type movie with Dennis Quaid and it's got Christopher Plumber. 0:26:12.240 --> 0:26:14.320 And yeah, the bad guy from the Warriors turns into 0:26:14.359 --> 0:26:14.720 a snake. 0:26:14.920 --> 0:26:16.320 Yeah, yeah, nice. 0:26:17.119 --> 0:26:19.760 Yeah, So let's see. Oh, he was a Plumber was 0:26:19.760 --> 0:26:22.800 in eighty eighth Vampire in Venice. He was in ninety 0:26:22.840 --> 0:26:25.960 one Star Trek the Undiscovered Country, ninety Four's Wolf, ninety 0:26:26.000 --> 0:26:30.440 five to Twelve Monkeys, Dracula two thousand, two thousand and five, 0:26:30.520 --> 0:26:33.639 Syriana two thousand and nine, s Up, twenty seventeen's All 0:26:33.680 --> 0:26:36.760 the Money in the World, in twenty nineteen's Knives Out. 0:26:37.440 --> 0:26:40.800 So yeah, one of the greats. He really brings a 0:26:40.880 --> 0:26:44.680 kind of supernatural grandeur to this role into this film, 0:26:45.040 --> 0:26:49.200 But at the same time, it's like it's it's almost 0:26:49.200 --> 0:26:53.240 a contradiction. He's at once the classiest thing in this movie, 0:26:53.440 --> 0:26:56.320 but he's also still absolutely giggle inducing. 0:26:56.680 --> 0:27:01.040 In it's inappropriate. The level of great that he brings 0:27:01.040 --> 0:27:04.560 this to this performance is inappropriate and thus goes full 0:27:04.600 --> 0:27:07.359 circle and becomes hilarious. It is. 0:27:07.440 --> 0:27:09.600 I mean, it's mesmerizing because you're like, man, what a pro. 0:27:09.880 --> 0:27:13.080 What a pro? He knew, he knows that he's delivering 0:27:13.119 --> 0:27:16.480 this monologue as a hologram standing in front of some 0:27:16.600 --> 0:27:20.760 shoddy wooden stairs that have been painted like they're part 0:27:20.760 --> 0:27:23.960 of his spaceship, but he's still giving it his absolute all. 0:27:24.600 --> 0:27:28.000 It's kind of like if Subway started offering like a 0:27:28.080 --> 0:27:32.119 caviar sandwich or something just like it doesn't fit, doesn't 0:27:32.119 --> 0:27:34.720 fit with the rest of the menu, and thus it 0:27:34.760 --> 0:27:38.080 seems absurd, even though I'm sure you know, caviar probably 0:27:38.240 --> 0:27:40.800 tastes good, but like people would be like, why is 0:27:40.840 --> 0:27:44.800 this here, what's the deal? What's going on? Yeah? 0:27:45.000 --> 0:27:47.400 Yeah, So we'll have more to say about his performance 0:27:47.440 --> 0:27:50.119 as we proceed. But let's see. The Emperor has a 0:27:50.160 --> 0:27:53.120 sign in this film. His name is Prince Simon, and 0:27:53.400 --> 0:27:55.880 as you would expect, the son of Christopher. Plummer's character 0:27:56.040 --> 0:27:59.439 is played by David Hasselhoff born nineteen fifty two. 0:28:00.119 --> 0:28:03.919 Future star of bay Watch and night Rider. He had 0:28:03.920 --> 0:28:05.600 done neither one at this point. 0:28:05.440 --> 0:28:07.919 Right right, those would those would come later? Yeah, night 0:28:08.000 --> 0:28:10.720 Rider was eighty two, three eighty six. Bay Watch was 0:28:10.720 --> 0:28:13.960 eighty nine three, two thousand and three. But also don't 0:28:14.200 --> 0:28:17.160 don't count out bay Watch nights ninety five through ninety seven. 0:28:17.520 --> 0:28:19.240 Oh, I don't know, don't know, bewatching. 0:28:19.320 --> 0:28:21.840 Oh that's when his character was like fighting mummies and 0:28:21.880 --> 0:28:23.040 serial killers and whatnot. 0:28:23.160 --> 0:28:24.480 Yeah, are you kidding? No? 0:28:24.480 --> 0:28:26.600 No, for real, I mean I don't know how supernatural 0:28:26.640 --> 0:28:28.680 it got. I think I only ever watched one episode, 0:28:28.680 --> 0:28:32.320 but it's like basically, yeah, bay Watch at night with 0:28:32.560 --> 0:28:37.520 like Kolchak the Nightstalker sort of sensibilities some degree. I 0:28:37.520 --> 0:28:39.720 don't want to oversell it and get people excited about 0:28:39.760 --> 0:28:40.920 something that's not going to deliver. 0:28:41.840 --> 0:28:43.680 You're getting me excited. I got to find out what 0:28:43.680 --> 0:28:46.120 to deal with this is. But yeah, so at this 0:28:46.240 --> 0:28:48.440 point I think he had mainly done He had done 0:28:48.840 --> 0:28:50.880 TV soap operas and stuff, like he'd been on The 0:28:50.920 --> 0:28:51.920 Young and the Restless. 0:28:52.120 --> 0:28:55.000 Yeah, this was only his second film role, following seventy 0:28:55.040 --> 0:28:57.600 six is Revenge of the Cheerleaders, and it would be 0:28:57.600 --> 0:29:02.000 his last theatrical picture until eighty eight Strong Times and 0:29:02.200 --> 0:29:04.200 a movie called Witchberry that came out the same year. 0:29:04.760 --> 0:29:10.880 He has voluminous hair, and it is not not really 0:29:10.920 --> 0:29:14.240 projecting like he's in the scenes that he's in. He 0:29:14.560 --> 0:29:17.440 always comes off as like the smallest person in them, 0:29:17.480 --> 0:29:19.960 just in terms not physically, but in terms of presence, 0:29:20.040 --> 0:29:23.920 like everybody else is kind of taking up more dramatic 0:29:23.920 --> 0:29:25.480 space than he is. Yeah. 0:29:25.560 --> 0:29:28.520 I found him to just feel wooden and afraid, which 0:29:28.800 --> 0:29:31.360 is not what we come to expect from the Hoff. 0:29:31.400 --> 0:29:33.760 But again, this is very this is very early days. 0:29:34.160 --> 0:29:38.920 And again this this picture is nobody's finest outing from 0:29:38.960 --> 0:29:41.480 an acting standpoint, so I think all can. 0:29:41.400 --> 0:29:42.000 Be a forgiven. 0:29:42.840 --> 0:29:45.840 I also read that he apparently had food poisoning, and 0:29:45.880 --> 0:29:47.640 it's one of the reasons that when we first meet 0:29:47.680 --> 0:29:50.960 him he is wearing an enormous golden mask because he's 0:29:51.120 --> 0:29:52.960 not physically there on set or something. 0:29:53.160 --> 0:29:55.440 Oh, that would make sense, Yeah, the Zarda's mask. 0:29:55.640 --> 0:30:00.000 Yeah, all right. We have a character by the name 0:30:00.120 --> 0:30:02.080 of Chief Thor, and it's going to be a real 0:30:02.160 --> 0:30:06.760 roller coaster of allegiances with the Chief Thor. But he 0:30:06.880 --> 0:30:10.360 is played by a character actor by the name of 0:30:10.920 --> 0:30:14.360 and I hope I'm saying it correctly, Robert to say, 0:30:15.840 --> 0:30:20.400 or Robert Tessier. I'm not sure which is preferred here, 0:30:20.440 --> 0:30:25.520 but Tessier Testia yea. He lived nineteen thirty four through 0:30:25.560 --> 0:30:31.640 nineteen ninety Menacing Tough Guy, a stumpman turned actor whose 0:30:31.720 --> 0:30:35.240 credits include a nice array of like bat biker films 0:30:35.240 --> 0:30:39.520 and action shlock titles include seventy ones The Velvet Vampire, 0:30:39.640 --> 0:30:42.560 seventy four is The Longest Yard, seventy seven's The Deep, 0:30:43.040 --> 0:30:45.240 eighty two is The Sword and the Sorcerer, and eighty 0:30:45.360 --> 0:30:48.880 nine's Future Force. And again there's some biker films mixed 0:30:48.880 --> 0:30:51.600 in there as well, Like you get the impression he's 0:30:51.640 --> 0:30:53.719 the sort of actor you might turn to when you 0:30:53.760 --> 0:30:56.680 just need some rugged guy to give you a bad 0:30:56.760 --> 0:30:59.720 look in a bar, Like he's who you call in. 0:31:00.200 --> 0:31:03.400 He naturally has Popeye's face, he does. 0:31:03.600 --> 0:31:07.480 Yeah, yeah, rugged, muscular bad dude. I believe he was 0:31:07.520 --> 0:31:10.960 a vet from the Armed Forces. 0:31:11.360 --> 0:31:14.680 Always perpetual squinting, angry appearance. 0:31:14.840 --> 0:31:19.600 Yeah, oh man. And then let's talk about our villain. 0:31:19.760 --> 0:31:23.640 This is Count zarth Arn. Am I am I saying 0:31:23.680 --> 0:31:25.080 it correctly? That's a mouthful. 0:31:25.400 --> 0:31:28.480 Are you mocking the Count Count ar Arn? 0:31:29.520 --> 0:31:32.040 What does the stress? Is it zarth Ron or zarth Ron? 0:31:32.360 --> 0:31:35.000 You hear it both ways in the movie, Yeah, the 0:31:35.160 --> 0:31:38.760 different characters. Sometimes the same character says it different ways. 0:31:39.400 --> 0:31:42.000 Did you like how this guy says his own name 0:31:42.040 --> 0:31:44.960 a lot? He likes to shout his own name, either 0:31:45.080 --> 0:31:48.280 in victory or in defiance. He just says Zarthorn. 0:31:49.160 --> 0:31:52.800 Yes, there's a great deal of shouting from Count Zarthorn, 0:31:52.880 --> 0:31:57.440 played by the Great Joe Spinel of nineteen thirty six 0:31:57.480 --> 0:32:01.400 through nineteen eighty nine. A true legend of seventies cinema, 0:32:01.680 --> 0:32:06.640 from its glorious heights to its grimy middle depths. Spinell's 0:32:06.680 --> 0:32:10.000 credits include roles in the first two Godfather films, the 0:32:10.040 --> 0:32:13.040 first two Rocky films, and in all four of those 0:32:13.080 --> 0:32:15.360 pictures playing underworld figures. 0:32:15.720 --> 0:32:17.840 It's easy to forget that in the first couple of 0:32:17.960 --> 0:32:21.959 Rocky movies Rocky is a mob enforcer. There's like a 0:32:22.000 --> 0:32:25.000 loan shark played by Joe Spinell, and Rocky has to 0:32:25.040 --> 0:32:27.480 go out and threaten people or beat them up to 0:32:27.520 --> 0:32:28.640 get this guy's money. 0:32:28.840 --> 0:32:31.880 Yeah, and Spinell is, you know, great in these sorts 0:32:31.920 --> 0:32:34.120 of roles. But he didn't just play criminals. He also 0:32:34.160 --> 0:32:37.880 played cops in law enforcement figures, generally of the more 0:32:38.000 --> 0:32:41.680 like morally corrupt variety, and so he pops up in 0:32:41.680 --> 0:32:45.360 films like seventy six is Taxi Driver, nineteen eighties Cruising. 0:32:46.240 --> 0:32:49.239 He also pops up in such legendary weird fair as 0:32:49.360 --> 0:32:53.160 nineteen eighties The Ninth Configuration, which has a you know, 0:32:53.400 --> 0:32:56.920 an extended weird cast, and then also the Forbidden World. 0:32:56.960 --> 0:32:59.520 I mean, I'm sorry Forbidden Zone and not the for 0:32:59.560 --> 0:33:02.880 Benzone Forbidden Zone. And of course he's also a horror 0:33:03.080 --> 0:33:05.560 icon for his roles in eighty two's The Last Horror 0:33:05.560 --> 0:33:10.320 Film in nineteen eighties Maniac, both with Carolyn Monroe, and 0:33:10.520 --> 0:33:14.480 he also co wrote Maniac. I was looking deep into 0:33:14.480 --> 0:33:17.560 his filmography and I noted something that stirred something in 0:33:17.600 --> 0:33:20.200 my memory. He was in a TV movie adaptation of 0:33:20.240 --> 0:33:23.920 The Ransom of Red Chief, which co starred Harry Dean Stanton. 0:33:24.280 --> 0:33:27.000 And I think I actually watched this in school, like 0:33:27.000 --> 0:33:29.240 an elementary school at some point, maybe junior high, I 0:33:29.240 --> 0:33:32.440 don't know. At some point we were covering this short 0:33:32.440 --> 0:33:35.040 story and then you know, like you do, it's time 0:33:35.080 --> 0:33:38.120 to pull out the giant television on its cart and 0:33:38.240 --> 0:33:41.400 watch an adaptation. And given the time, it had to 0:33:41.440 --> 0:33:42.240 have been this one. 0:33:42.480 --> 0:33:45.280 Wonder how often people end up watching Maniac in elementary 0:33:45.320 --> 0:33:49.880 school gosh, I hope not educational value. 0:33:50.000 --> 0:33:53.480 So I have to say, like Spinel obviously a great 0:33:53.560 --> 0:33:56.720 character actor, certainly when it came to playing textured creeps 0:33:56.720 --> 0:33:59.840 and heavies, particularly when his native New York was the 0:34:00.720 --> 0:34:04.200 but really he's completely miscast here as a space tyrant. 0:34:04.240 --> 0:34:06.880 He just comes off as just completely ridiculous, like a 0:34:07.240 --> 0:34:11.759 like a vampire penguin the entire film, like a ponche Salvador. 0:34:11.840 --> 0:34:15.520 Dolly of Dolly was also a space pimp, But like 0:34:15.600 --> 0:34:17.799 everything else in the film, it's so bad that it 0:34:17.880 --> 0:34:20.480 just becomes glorious, Like you just want to see more 0:34:20.520 --> 0:34:22.600 and more of this guy as he goes around with 0:34:22.640 --> 0:34:24.719 this ridiculous cape that I think must have been on 0:34:24.800 --> 0:34:28.920 wires to make it like Flume out the way it 0:34:28.960 --> 0:34:30.759 does just beautiful. 0:34:30.840 --> 0:34:36.440 Yeah, the red velvet cape. I mean, bravo to every 0:34:36.480 --> 0:34:39.520 moment he's in this movie. He's not acting, he's just 0:34:40.040 --> 0:34:42.680 kind of snarling and yelling. And as we've said, it's 0:34:42.719 --> 0:34:45.120 not his voice, whoever's or I don't know if it 0:34:45.200 --> 0:34:48.000 is his voice, but it's certainly not live sound for 0:34:48.080 --> 0:34:52.879 his scenes. Yeah, and just it's amazing. Every Czar Thorn 0:34:52.960 --> 0:34:54.080 scene is just delicious. 0:34:54.239 --> 0:34:57.959 Yeah, his outfits kind of form fitting in a weird way. 0:34:58.160 --> 0:35:01.000 And this is another case though, where it's interesting how 0:35:01.000 --> 0:35:04.360 his character does kind of forecast what we'd eventually get 0:35:04.640 --> 0:35:09.160 in Star Wars, particularly with Count Dooku. He's based Tyrant 0:35:09.239 --> 0:35:13.080 with Dracula esque flourishes, but of course Star Wars actually 0:35:13.120 --> 0:35:17.920 just cast Dracula himself Christopher Lee. It's hard to argue 0:35:17.960 --> 0:35:21.840 that Spinell is really ideal casting for this sort of character. 0:35:21.920 --> 0:35:25.400 But again, it's glorious to watch, so we can't really complain. 0:35:25.840 --> 0:35:28.719 Yes, many rounds of applause of Joe Spinell. 0:35:28.440 --> 0:35:39.560 Here, all right, Getting into some of the supporting cast. 0:35:39.600 --> 0:35:44.920 Here we have Nadia Cassini playing Queen Karelia. This is 0:35:45.120 --> 0:35:46.879 the Queen of the Amazons. We go to a few 0:35:46.920 --> 0:35:48.960 we go on a few different good planets here, you know, 0:35:49.000 --> 0:35:50.400 we go to an ice planet, we go to an 0:35:50.440 --> 0:35:53.800 Amazonian planet, we go to a caveman planet. You know, 0:35:54.000 --> 0:35:57.680 hit all the hits and at anyway. So Cassini here 0:35:57.680 --> 0:36:02.000 lived nineteen forty nine through twenty twenty five American Italian actress, singer, 0:36:02.000 --> 0:36:04.160 and show girl who made a name for herself in 0:36:04.200 --> 0:36:07.720 a lot of it's like seventies sexploitation and also sex 0:36:07.760 --> 0:36:11.520 comedy films. Her credits include nineteen seventies The Snake God, 0:36:12.040 --> 0:36:15.120 seventy two's Pulp. That one was actually a Mike Hodges 0:36:15.160 --> 0:36:18.120 film that starred Michael Caine. And then there's a nineteen 0:36:18.160 --> 0:36:21.160 seventy nine film titled I'm a Zombie. You're a Zombie, 0:36:21.360 --> 0:36:24.800 She's a Zombie. Don't know much about it beyond its title, 0:36:24.800 --> 0:36:25.920 but it's a pretty great title. 0:36:26.640 --> 0:36:28.839 You're a Lebowski I'm a Labowski. 0:36:30.880 --> 0:36:34.960 Let's see the other There's a whole group of Amazonian women, 0:36:35.560 --> 0:36:40.200 you know, scantily clad and as you would expect from 0:36:40.239 --> 0:36:44.399 this picture. And the actresses involved here include a number 0:36:44.440 --> 0:36:48.080 of actresses actresses who feature into various exploitation and erotic 0:36:48.120 --> 0:36:50.959 Italian films of the era. Just to mention a couple 0:36:51.040 --> 0:36:54.800 of them in passing, we have Cindy Ledbetter born nineteen 0:36:54.880 --> 0:36:58.480 fifty five, American models turned actress whose credits include eighty 0:36:58.480 --> 0:37:01.160 one's Absurd, which we talk about on the show before. 0:37:02.160 --> 0:37:07.040 You might remember she George eastman Halloween ripoff. Actually yes, yeah, yeah, 0:37:07.160 --> 0:37:09.560 very much so. She's the blonde. 0:37:09.600 --> 0:37:12.200 I think she's a babysitter and georgie'sman kills her with 0:37:12.200 --> 0:37:13.640 a pick axe through the top of the head. 0:37:13.880 --> 0:37:18.080 Oh okay, wait is okay? I recall her death scene? 0:37:18.120 --> 0:37:20.520 Taking a really long time? Am I thinking of the 0:37:20.600 --> 0:37:21.279 right person? Okay? 0:37:21.480 --> 0:37:23.640 I included a still in our outlines to remind you. 0:37:24.320 --> 0:37:24.880 Oh thank you? 0:37:25.000 --> 0:37:28.520 Yes, so yes, she was in that one. She was 0:37:28.560 --> 0:37:31.000 also in eighty five's The Adventures of Hercules, though I 0:37:31.120 --> 0:37:33.920 don't clearly remember her from that. She was one of 0:37:34.000 --> 0:37:38.080 the one of the other ladies in that film, and 0:37:38.120 --> 0:37:40.799 then she's also in eighty four's Rats Night of Terror. 0:37:41.360 --> 0:37:43.120 Ah, I got the blu ray of that. I haven't 0:37:43.120 --> 0:37:45.480 watched the whole thing yet, but I'm I'm excited to 0:37:45.480 --> 0:37:46.120 make it to that one. 0:37:46.200 --> 0:37:49.719 I hear great bad things about it. I did find 0:37:49.719 --> 0:37:53.480 it amusing that her first credited screen role is not 0:37:53.560 --> 0:37:57.040 an unnamed character. It is Cannibal Girl in Mental Institution 0:37:57.560 --> 0:38:01.600 from Joe Tomato's Immanuel and the Last Cannibals from nineteen 0:38:01.640 --> 0:38:05.120 seventy seven. She was active as an actress to around 0:38:05.160 --> 0:38:07.320 eighty five, and then popped up again in two thousand 0:38:07.360 --> 0:38:11.480 and eight. We also have another Amazonian woman played by 0:38:11.719 --> 0:38:17.200 dirtche Funari born nineteen fifty seven, a frequent Joe Tomato 0:38:17.280 --> 0:38:21.280 casting here whose films include multiple Emmanuel movies, nineteen eighties 0:38:21.320 --> 0:38:23.840 Erotic Knights of the Living Dead in nineteen seventy nine's 0:38:23.920 --> 0:38:24.279 Ring of. 0:38:24.280 --> 0:38:27.200 Darkness Erotic Knights of the Living Dead. 0:38:27.719 --> 0:38:33.080 Yeah, so if your film viewing includes some very questionable choices, 0:38:33.920 --> 0:38:37.440 then you may have seen her before as well. We 0:38:37.520 --> 0:38:42.680 mentioned l the Robot, The Wonderful Robot. I can't waste 0:38:42.680 --> 0:38:47.120 Southern C three po that we have here. Hamilton Camp 0:38:47.160 --> 0:38:51.400 provides the voice. We've talked about Hamilton Camp before because 0:38:51.400 --> 0:38:53.200 he came up in our episode on the nineteen eighty 0:38:53.320 --> 0:38:58.759 nine alien boxing movie Arena. Okay, Yeah. So Camp lived 0:38:58.840 --> 0:39:01.759 nineteen thirty four through two thand and five British born 0:39:01.800 --> 0:39:07.160 actor folk musician, mostly famous as Bob Camp with Bob Gibson, 0:39:07.640 --> 0:39:10.000 and he was also a comedian and his credits include 0:39:10.040 --> 0:39:13.719 seventy eight's Heaven Can Wait, eighty two's Eating Rau, and 0:39:13.840 --> 0:39:16.560 nineteen nineties Dick Tracy. He also did a lot of 0:39:16.640 --> 0:39:18.680 voice acting, and a lot of it back from a 0:39:18.760 --> 0:39:21.319 day when they really didn't do a lot of work 0:39:21.360 --> 0:39:25.600 crediting the voice actors on cartoons. He played a Ferangi 0:39:25.719 --> 0:39:29.160 on Deep Space nine and Yeah. He also put out 0:39:29.200 --> 0:39:32.719 several folk albums throughout his life as Hamilton Camp. So 0:39:32.760 --> 0:39:34.400 if you look him up wherever you get your music, 0:39:34.440 --> 0:39:36.960 look up Hamilton Camp. Pull up some tracks. This guy 0:39:37.000 --> 0:39:40.319 had a truly beautiful singing voice. It might not seem 0:39:40.360 --> 0:39:43.640 as obvious hearing this this droid voice that he puts 0:39:43.640 --> 0:39:46.280 on in the show, but man, he had some pipes. 0:39:47.080 --> 0:39:49.440 Oh I'll have to check that out. You know. One 0:39:49.440 --> 0:39:51.799 thing I thought was interesting about the crediting here is 0:39:51.840 --> 0:39:56.400 that we actually get named like you get a named 0:39:56.520 --> 0:40:00.400 voice credit and a different named physical credit for the 0:40:00.480 --> 0:40:04.120 character El the Robot. But there are clearly lots of 0:40:04.160 --> 0:40:07.160 other characters who are voiced by someone dubbed by someone 0:40:07.200 --> 0:40:09.640 different than appears on screen, and we don't get that 0:40:09.719 --> 0:40:10.760 other person credited. 0:40:10.880 --> 0:40:11.080 Yeah. 0:40:11.080 --> 0:40:12.839 I don't know what makes the difference here. Maybe it's 0:40:12.880 --> 0:40:15.600 that Hamilton Camp. I don't know. Maybe the plan was 0:40:15.640 --> 0:40:16.840 to do that from the beginning. 0:40:17.400 --> 0:40:21.959 Yeah, I'm also not sure on the full production history here. 0:40:22.239 --> 0:40:24.920 I guess it's entirely likely that some of these dubs 0:40:25.000 --> 0:40:26.680 might have happened after it had been picked up for 0:40:26.719 --> 0:40:29.560 distribution in the US, and someone else may have been 0:40:29.560 --> 0:40:32.600 brought in this sort of thing. Yeah, I'll mention just 0:40:32.640 --> 0:40:36.080 in passing that Salvatore Baccaro, who lived nineteen thirty two 0:40:36.120 --> 0:40:38.160 through nineteen eighty four, pops up as one of our 0:40:38.239 --> 0:40:42.600 Neanderthal men on the Caveman Planet. He mentioned him in 0:40:42.640 --> 0:40:46.360 our episode on Argento's Deep Red. He often played heavies 0:40:46.400 --> 0:40:49.520 and beast men appearing, and a number of really grimy 0:40:49.520 --> 0:40:54.600 Italian exploitation films from the nineteen seventies, often uncredited and 0:40:54.640 --> 0:40:57.560 in one film. Seventy four is Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks. 0:40:57.880 --> 0:41:02.719 He is credited as Boris Lagosi. Classy, Yeah, And then 0:41:02.880 --> 0:41:06.080 I'll tell you something that is classy about this film. 0:41:06.280 --> 0:41:10.040 It's the score. The film score here is by John Barry, 0:41:10.120 --> 0:41:14.399 who lived nineteen thirty three through twenty eleven. Seven time 0:41:14.440 --> 0:41:18.680 Oscar nominee and five time winner for his scores too. 0:41:18.719 --> 0:41:21.440 Let's He's sixty seven is Born Free along with this 0:41:21.520 --> 0:41:24.640 original song. Sixty nine is the Lion in Winter, eighty 0:41:24.680 --> 0:41:27.760 six is Out of Africa, ninety one Dances with Wolves, 0:41:28.040 --> 0:41:30.960 and of course he's best remembered for a quarter centuries 0:41:31.000 --> 0:41:34.600 worth of James Bond scores. He didn't write the original 0:41:34.680 --> 0:41:39.040 theme song, but even listening to the score for Star Crash, 0:41:39.560 --> 0:41:42.440 it feels completely out of place in many respects, in 0:41:42.440 --> 0:41:45.520 part because it's so good, but also it sounds like 0:41:45.560 --> 0:41:49.040 it should be a James Bond score and not a 0:41:49.160 --> 0:41:54.239 knockoff Star Wars score. It's legitimately really good stuff. One 0:41:54.320 --> 0:41:57.000 track the Ice Planet, which you can pull up wherever 0:41:57.080 --> 0:41:59.319 you get your music, you can find the score for 0:41:59.360 --> 0:42:02.239 this film. It very good and it even has like 0:42:02.480 --> 0:42:05.000 something that sounds like whale song in it, except it's 0:42:05.080 --> 0:42:10.080 not sampled whale song. It's something created via non electronic instrumentation, 0:42:10.200 --> 0:42:11.480 and it's very nice. 0:42:11.680 --> 0:42:13.640 I didn't listen to any of this in isolation, so 0:42:13.640 --> 0:42:15.560 I'm gonna have to look this up after we record. 0:42:15.800 --> 0:42:18.560 Yeah, it's really good stuff. And I read somewhere I 0:42:18.560 --> 0:42:20.480 don't know if this is true that there was legitimate 0:42:20.520 --> 0:42:24.799 concern that if Barry saw footage of the film that 0:42:24.880 --> 0:42:27.000 he was going to be scoring, he might quit and 0:42:27.040 --> 0:42:29.799 they might not get the score. Because I think they 0:42:29.840 --> 0:42:33.040 realized that, hey, we've landed, We've landed a great score 0:42:33.080 --> 0:42:35.600 for this, no matter how it turns out, we're really, 0:42:35.640 --> 0:42:37.160 you know, punching above our weight here. 0:42:37.840 --> 0:42:40.160 Well, I mean, I think one thing that they must 0:42:40.200 --> 0:42:44.120 have correctly deduced was how important the music is to 0:42:44.160 --> 0:42:46.719 the success of a film like this. I'm not going 0:42:46.800 --> 0:42:49.719 to say that Star Wars is no good without its 0:42:50.080 --> 0:42:53.360 John Williams score, but I think it would be hard 0:42:53.400 --> 0:42:55.560 to argue that the John Williams score is not a 0:42:55.680 --> 0:42:59.800 significant part of the effect and feeling created by the movie, 0:43:00.160 --> 0:43:02.120 like a big part of what makes it work. 0:43:02.440 --> 0:43:05.200 Yeah, yeah, I would agree. I should also mention that 0:43:05.239 --> 0:43:07.720 we previously discussed John Barry because he did the score 0:43:07.800 --> 0:43:11.040 for Disney's The Black Hole, which is, of course, in 0:43:11.560 --> 0:43:14.600 its own way, an attempt to cash in on the 0:43:14.640 --> 0:43:17.120 popularity of Star Wars, to do it the Disney way, 0:43:17.800 --> 0:43:20.160 And of course, in time Star Wars would become the 0:43:20.200 --> 0:43:22.480 Disney way because Disney would purchase Star Wars. 0:43:22.840 --> 0:43:23.359 There you go. 0:43:23.600 --> 0:43:25.360 Everything is the Disney way now if. 0:43:25.200 --> 0:43:28.640 You can't beat them by them, Yeah, all right, are 0:43:28.640 --> 0:43:29.960 you ready to talk about the plot. 0:43:30.400 --> 0:43:32.240 Oh yes, let's get into the plot. 0:43:32.400 --> 0:43:36.040 Okay. Like so so many other movies of this type, 0:43:36.320 --> 0:43:39.840 this one opens on a starfield with this empty howling sound. 0:43:40.280 --> 0:43:43.000 One thing I like about the space imagery in this 0:43:43.080 --> 0:43:45.759 movie is that it is not just black space with 0:43:45.880 --> 0:43:50.360 white points of light. It's a very spicy, colorful galaxy 0:43:50.440 --> 0:43:54.520 with stars and all these different colors like blue, orange, yellow, pink, 0:43:54.560 --> 0:43:57.800 different shades. Later in this opening scene, we're going to 0:43:57.840 --> 0:44:01.600 see a full on hot pink planet partially eclipsed so 0:44:01.640 --> 0:44:05.400 that it shows up as this neon pink crescent or sickle. 0:44:05.840 --> 0:44:07.399 I like it. It's good. Yeah. 0:44:07.440 --> 0:44:10.200 I love how colorful space is in Star Crashing again, 0:44:10.280 --> 0:44:12.400 not the dark void of so many sci fi visions, 0:44:12.400 --> 0:44:16.200 but more of a psychedelic spell jammer sort of cosmos. 0:44:17.000 --> 0:44:18.719 You see a similar thing in the Guardians of the 0:44:18.719 --> 0:44:21.880 Galaxy movie. You know, they make a conscious effort to 0:44:21.960 --> 0:44:25.920 make space exciting and colorful and dynamic and not empty 0:44:25.960 --> 0:44:26.400 and dark. 0:44:26.760 --> 0:44:28.680 And I don't want to suggest that's the right choice 0:44:28.680 --> 0:44:31.200 for every movie. I mean, like an alien space should 0:44:31.200 --> 0:44:31.959 be empty and dark. 0:44:32.040 --> 0:44:35.680 Yeah, it would be a weird and maybe ineffective alien 0:44:35.719 --> 0:44:40.200 movie if the cosmos was psychedelic. It needs to be. 0:44:40.280 --> 0:44:43.960 Dark, pretty and sparkling. And then after this we are 0:44:43.960 --> 0:44:47.960 treated to a low budget attempt to copy the iconic 0:44:48.040 --> 0:44:51.440 opening shot of Star Wars where Princess Leah's Blockade Runner 0:44:51.480 --> 0:44:55.080 flies overhead and then the Star Destroyer comes overhead close behind. 0:44:55.200 --> 0:44:58.399 Yeah, no shame, everybody was doing it so a lot. 0:44:58.440 --> 0:45:01.560 We've seen other movies that did the same thing. Here 0:45:01.600 --> 0:45:04.200 we get a kind of combination. So it is a 0:45:04.239 --> 0:45:07.399 single ship which appears to be huge like the Star 0:45:07.440 --> 0:45:10.840 Destroyer and glides over the top of the camera lens 0:45:11.280 --> 0:45:14.319 like the Star Destroyer, but it is shaped more like 0:45:14.400 --> 0:45:18.000 the Blockade Runner, and as it goes by we get 0:45:18.000 --> 0:45:21.480 close ups of its many intricate greebowles and outer textures. 0:45:21.800 --> 0:45:24.640 I see all kinds of little consumer plastics glued to 0:45:24.680 --> 0:45:27.120 the outside of this thing and spray painted white. Rob. 0:45:27.280 --> 0:45:30.280 I know you Actually you build miniature sometimes, right. 0:45:30.640 --> 0:45:36.560 I do. I generally do little soldiers and like little people, 0:45:37.080 --> 0:45:39.360 but occasionally I'll do I have done some star wars, 0:45:39.880 --> 0:45:41.840 like tanks and vehicles. 0:45:41.880 --> 0:45:45.520 Before I bring this up because I wondered what you 0:45:45.560 --> 0:45:48.160 thought about this. I saw what I thought were a 0:45:48.160 --> 0:45:50.759 lot of I don't know what you call this, but 0:45:50.960 --> 0:45:55.280 the plastic stuff around the pieces of a little plastic 0:45:55.360 --> 0:45:58.000 miniature kit that you build. So if you're building a 0:45:58.040 --> 0:46:00.480 little airplane kit, you'll get a lot of different pieces 0:46:00.560 --> 0:46:03.120 held in place by these little plastic bars and you 0:46:03.200 --> 0:46:06.640 chose yeah, yeah, yeah, So I don't know what you 0:46:06.760 --> 0:46:09.600 call that, You know, that plastic lattice or square that 0:46:09.680 --> 0:46:11.640 everything comes in. I saw a lot of stuff that 0:46:11.840 --> 0:46:14.720 was looked like that on the outside of these ships. 0:46:14.840 --> 0:46:17.880 Yeah, that would be the spruce and and yeah, I 0:46:17.960 --> 0:46:19.920 mean that otherwise those things just go in the garbage. 0:46:19.960 --> 0:46:20.960 Make a spaceship out of it. 0:46:21.040 --> 0:46:24.280 Yeah, exactly looks like pipes if you put it on that. Yeah. 0:46:24.360 --> 0:46:27.759 Yeah, I have to say the ships. There are a 0:46:27.760 --> 0:46:29.799 lot of caveats to the statement but the ships look 0:46:29.840 --> 0:46:30.319 pretty good. 0:46:31.360 --> 0:46:33.719 Yeah, medium good, I think, Yeah. 0:46:33.520 --> 0:46:37.600 Yeah, considering this is low budget, we've seen worse. We've 0:46:37.600 --> 0:46:39.240 seen better, but we've seen worse. 0:46:39.840 --> 0:46:43.280 There's a name on this ship, which it's It's called 0:46:43.360 --> 0:46:46.200 the Murray Leinster. That never comes up again. 0:46:47.080 --> 0:46:48.960 Yeah. When I saw that, I was like, are we 0:46:49.040 --> 0:46:51.080 in the credits again? Are they adding inventive? Are they 0:46:51.080 --> 0:46:54.280 ahead of their time with how they're they're name dropping 0:46:54.280 --> 0:46:55.640 an executive producer or something? 0:46:55.640 --> 0:46:58.400 But are we later going to hear Christopher Plummer saying 0:46:58.440 --> 0:47:00.719 we have lost contact with the Leinster? 0:47:01.440 --> 0:47:02.200 Never comes up? 0:47:02.440 --> 0:47:02.680 Never? 0:47:02.960 --> 0:47:04.480 Never, that's the name of the Maybe it's the name 0:47:04.480 --> 0:47:05.719 of the guy who built the ship. I don't know. 0:47:05.880 --> 0:47:08.080 Good model work, but yeah, I'll say the ships look 0:47:08.160 --> 0:47:12.040 pretty good. However, I think their exact form is often 0:47:12.080 --> 0:47:15.120 a bit too convoluted for me to really form an impression. 0:47:15.200 --> 0:47:19.239 Like I just it's just kind of confusing, and I 0:47:19.239 --> 0:47:22.200 certainly have a hard time telling one from the other. 0:47:22.600 --> 0:47:25.760 And then when they start moving around, all the space 0:47:25.800 --> 0:47:29.960 action in this film is just aggressively disorienting, Just loops 0:47:30.000 --> 0:47:34.480 and loops of ships soaring loudly sonically and visually through space. 0:47:35.000 --> 0:47:38.200 Just an alarming overbearing sense of you took too much. 0:47:38.600 --> 0:47:42.440 Yes. Yeah, as I said earlier, I think the space 0:47:42.480 --> 0:47:45.000 battles there, there are problems with them, and one of 0:47:45.040 --> 0:47:48.760 them is a lack of differentiation, a lack of focus. 0:47:48.800 --> 0:47:52.960 It's just stuff happening. Yeah. So anyway, we cut inside 0:47:53.040 --> 0:47:56.640 the Murray Leinster now where crew members are waddling around 0:47:56.719 --> 0:48:00.800 in maroon leather uniforms of these shoulder pads and cod pieces, 0:48:00.920 --> 0:48:05.000 wearing these ridiculous gold helmets. Not sure why, but almost 0:48:05.080 --> 0:48:08.040 all of the soldiers in this movie, whether for the 0:48:08.080 --> 0:48:11.600 Empire or working for zarth Arn, they all have similar 0:48:11.640 --> 0:48:15.200 shaped helmets. And all of these guys remind me of 0:48:15.280 --> 0:48:18.520 the Mom's robot oil suns. Do you see what I'm saying. 0:48:18.920 --> 0:48:22.400 Yeah, Yeah, there's the head shape combined with the helmet 0:48:22.440 --> 0:48:26.120 shape for sure. And you know, I don't know if 0:48:26.120 --> 0:48:27.719 there's a direct connection here. It would not surprise me 0:48:27.760 --> 0:48:32.600 if the Futurama folks were Starcrash fans. But I'm also 0:48:32.640 --> 0:48:35.360 glad that you brought up the cod pieces. This movie 0:48:36.000 --> 0:48:40.280 really really loves a good cod piece. Pretty Much every 0:48:40.360 --> 0:48:43.600 costume in the film is some sort of a cod 0:48:43.640 --> 0:48:47.640 piece on the outside, thong on the outside or chastity 0:48:47.680 --> 0:48:51.839 belt on the outside of the garment. Yes, it's just everywhere. 0:48:52.080 --> 0:48:55.040 I feel bad for everybody on screen because almost all 0:48:55.080 --> 0:48:58.800 of them have like some kind of rigid thong tight 0:48:59.040 --> 0:49:03.040 thong over their pants. It's the galay, you know, the 0:49:03.080 --> 0:49:07.239 denizens of the wedgy galaxy. It looks like not fun, 0:49:07.360 --> 0:49:12.160 not fully aware anyway. So there there is one practical 0:49:12.160 --> 0:49:15.239 effect I like in this early scene on the spaceship, 0:49:15.280 --> 0:49:17.440 which is that instead of getting in and out of 0:49:17.520 --> 0:49:21.399 elevators like kirkans Bach are always doing, this ship has 0:49:21.520 --> 0:49:25.960 a transportation infrastructure that's like a little elevator compartment. So 0:49:26.000 --> 0:49:27.640 you go down a hall, go through a door, and 0:49:27.680 --> 0:49:29.879 then you stand in a room and close the door. 0:49:30.200 --> 0:49:33.440 But instead of going up and down to different floors, 0:49:33.960 --> 0:49:37.440 it is a circular room that rotates around to point 0:49:37.480 --> 0:49:40.359 you out into a different hallway. And I was thinking 0:49:40.360 --> 0:49:42.280 about this and I was like, how is that better 0:49:42.320 --> 0:49:45.520 than having an intersection of hallways? 0:49:45.920 --> 0:49:49.600 It is really impressive visually, but it's it's also kind 0:49:49.640 --> 0:49:51.600 of a it's kind of like a first date thing 0:49:51.719 --> 0:49:53.760 in this film, Like, are we going to be treated 0:49:53.800 --> 0:49:58.640 with this level of class and sophistication in every scene? No, no, 0:49:58.680 --> 0:50:00.560 not really, but it's pretty cool here. 0:50:01.360 --> 0:50:03.279 So anyway, on the bridge, we got a couple of 0:50:03.360 --> 0:50:07.640 these robot oil suns chatting. One of them says, and 0:50:08.320 --> 0:50:11.480 nearly all of these line deliveries are pretty weird in 0:50:11.520 --> 0:50:14.719 one way or another. One of them says, what is 0:50:14.800 --> 0:50:18.320 it like the planet we're approaching? The other one says, 0:50:18.560 --> 0:50:22.399 nothing but ice and snow, a barren desert of whiteness. 0:50:23.080 --> 0:50:26.719 And then another one says, scan it with our computer waves. 0:50:26.840 --> 0:50:31.640 The enemy's weapons may be hidden beneath its surface. And 0:50:31.680 --> 0:50:35.160 then now we see outside and the rockade Blunner here 0:50:35.320 --> 0:50:40.160 is flying through space. And suddenly nearby something starts happening. 0:50:40.200 --> 0:50:44.120 We get some red lava lamp wax that starts undulating 0:50:44.200 --> 0:50:46.319 in the cosmos. That doesn't seem good. 0:50:46.400 --> 0:50:48.920 Are you talking about the red monsters? Yeah, because they 0:50:48.920 --> 0:50:51.360 will keep referring back to this as the red monsters, 0:50:51.360 --> 0:50:53.200 And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa what redds. Oh, 0:50:53.280 --> 0:50:56.400 they're talking about the globs. They're talking about the lava 0:50:56.480 --> 0:50:57.120 lamp globs. 0:50:57.160 --> 0:50:59.480 Okay, At some point I was thinking, we're going to 0:50:59.520 --> 0:51:02.520 see monts. We'll see what they see, We'll see the monster. 0:51:02.680 --> 0:51:05.839 We never do. It's some kind of psychic attack. All 0:51:05.880 --> 0:51:09.319 of the helmet dudes, the robot oil sons grab their 0:51:09.360 --> 0:51:13.279 helmets and they start groaning, while the interior cabins fill 0:51:13.360 --> 0:51:15.879 up with these red spots of light that zip around 0:51:15.920 --> 0:51:17.840 in the air. They look like red lens flares. 0:51:18.239 --> 0:51:21.799 Yeah, it is highly variable depending on who you are 0:51:21.880 --> 0:51:24.239 and what your character is, depending on how this will 0:51:25.040 --> 0:51:28.400 affect you, Like when Carolyn Monroe's character is hit by 0:51:28.440 --> 0:51:33.120 it later, it's almost like an orgasm. Migraine seems to 0:51:33.160 --> 0:51:34.240 be the overall effect. 0:51:34.400 --> 0:51:40.520 She goes, ah, my head. And so anyway, the soldiers 0:51:40.560 --> 0:51:44.520 here they collapse, presumably they die, and then we watch 0:51:44.640 --> 0:51:48.560 the ship's escape pods, which looks slightly like paper airplanes. 0:51:48.680 --> 0:51:51.879 They fire off one by one. Then the ship explodes, 0:51:53.120 --> 0:51:55.600 and then we cut to the credits where Marjo gets 0:51:55.600 --> 0:51:58.920 top billing before Carolyn Monroe. Again, I call foul on 0:51:59.000 --> 0:52:01.879 that that doesn't make sense to me that we get 0:52:01.880 --> 0:52:05.480 the title. I like the title styling. It's really good. 0:52:05.520 --> 0:52:06.960 I wanted to see more of it, but they just 0:52:07.120 --> 0:52:08.759 rush it off the screen. They're like, we haven't got 0:52:08.800 --> 0:52:11.040 time for this. This is star Crash. You read the 0:52:11.040 --> 0:52:12.560 title on the poster, did. 0:52:12.440 --> 0:52:15.920 You notice how after the credits. The credits and music 0:52:16.120 --> 0:52:20.400 cut off very abruptly. We're getting it's like the music 0:52:20.480 --> 0:52:23.240 doesn't finish the phrase it's in. It's in the middle 0:52:23.320 --> 0:52:26.400 of something happening in the song, and then it's just 0:52:26.520 --> 0:52:28.520 enough of that, you know, trying to watch some triangles 0:52:28.560 --> 0:52:32.320 zooming around. Yeah, so we fall in with a second spaceship. 0:52:32.360 --> 0:52:34.360 This one is shaped like a tortilla chip. It's a 0:52:34.360 --> 0:52:37.919 big flat triangle, and inside at the helm we meet 0:52:38.000 --> 0:52:41.719 Marjo Gordoner is acton and Carolyn Monroe as still a star. 0:52:42.520 --> 0:52:45.839 I would say they in a way both look like 0:52:45.840 --> 0:52:49.360 they're in advertisements for different kinds of hair care products. 0:52:49.680 --> 0:52:54.279 Oh yeah, the hair game in this film is it 0:52:54.360 --> 0:52:59.560 is pretty intense. Everybody's hair is a definite choice, whether 0:52:59.640 --> 0:53:04.280 it's slicked back with grease or poofed out to almost 0:53:04.320 --> 0:53:06.279 supernatural levels of poofiness. 0:53:06.600 --> 0:53:11.880 Yeah. So Marjo is this handsome, kind of sun baked 0:53:12.000 --> 0:53:14.520 guy in his thirties. He got this big crown of 0:53:14.600 --> 0:53:17.680 curly blonde hair, and like I said earlier, he has 0:53:17.719 --> 0:53:23.040 a very stagy, live showbiz delivery style. Again, not really 0:53:23.080 --> 0:53:26.520 playing a character so much as projecting his lines like 0:53:26.600 --> 0:53:30.520 a somebody who's giving announcements or owning a stage, maybe 0:53:30.560 --> 0:53:36.800 like a magician. And Carolyn Monroe is very sparkly hammer glamour. 0:53:37.560 --> 0:53:39.680 And let's see, I had some notes here about the 0:53:39.719 --> 0:53:42.640 Candy Clark thing, but I guess we already addressed that question. Marks, 0:53:42.719 --> 0:53:46.000 is this really Candy Clark's voice in the dubbing? If so, 0:53:46.160 --> 0:53:47.000 that is interesting. 0:53:47.840 --> 0:53:50.480 Yeah, and again this was common practice. Like we were 0:53:50.480 --> 0:53:52.719 talking about Hercules and the Haunted World, like they had 0:53:52.760 --> 0:53:55.279 Christopher Lee of all people in that, and they just 0:53:55.360 --> 0:53:57.600 use somebody else to dub his voice for the English version. 0:53:57.640 --> 0:53:59.520 They're like, we already paid for Christopher Lee once. We're 0:53:59.520 --> 0:54:01.440 not going to pay for ripped twice just so he 0:54:01.440 --> 0:54:02.520 can use his voice. 0:54:04.040 --> 0:54:10.760 Crazy, Yeah, I remember Christopher Lely seemed very underused in that. Yeah. Anyway, 0:54:11.120 --> 0:54:13.840 so we got Stella and Acton. They're flying through space 0:54:14.200 --> 0:54:18.640 and they find themselves being pursued by space cops. Acton 0:54:18.760 --> 0:54:20.920 pulls them up on the view screen and then they 0:54:20.960 --> 0:54:25.200 see the bald green head of Robert Tessier and this 0:54:25.239 --> 0:54:29.080 guy says, as Thor, chief of the Imperial Police, I 0:54:29.239 --> 0:54:33.480 order you to surrender at once. Oh, since he's asking 0:54:33.600 --> 0:54:36.880 as Thor, I guess we've got to get it. And 0:54:36.920 --> 0:54:39.399 then we get a second head on the TV. This 0:54:39.480 --> 0:54:42.719 time it's a shiny black robot that looks like Darth 0:54:42.800 --> 0:54:46.399 Vader's helmet. This character is named L like the name 0:54:46.520 --> 0:54:50.200 E L E, not the letter. And I think the 0:54:50.239 --> 0:54:53.800 design of this character is interesting because he is essentially 0:54:53.840 --> 0:54:57.800 going to turn out to be a comic relief loyal 0:54:57.960 --> 0:55:02.760 droid sidekick like C three, but with a Southern accent 0:55:02.920 --> 0:55:05.680 like Sheriff J. W. Pepper and Live and Let Die. 0:55:06.239 --> 0:55:09.120 And then given all that, I think it is weird 0:55:09.200 --> 0:55:12.600 that they decide to make him look evil like Darth Vader. 0:55:12.880 --> 0:55:15.440 Yeah. Like it's almost like they had this robot design 0:55:15.600 --> 0:55:17.080 and they were gonna use it for a villain and 0:55:17.080 --> 0:55:18.480 they're like, now, let's just use it for the good guy. 0:55:18.520 --> 0:55:21.360 It doesn't matter. And yeah, so he looks like you 0:55:21.360 --> 0:55:24.239 should be more of a force to be reckoned with 0:55:24.360 --> 0:55:27.960 than he actually is, at least in the black hole. 0:55:28.520 --> 0:55:31.680 The robot with the Southern voice. I think Slim Dickens 0:55:31.719 --> 0:55:34.319 did the voice of the Southern robot in that at 0:55:34.400 --> 0:55:36.560 least he looks like comic relief. 0:55:36.920 --> 0:55:40.160 Yeah. L. So this robot comes on the TV and 0:55:40.200 --> 0:55:46.279 says Stella you cheap smuggler and police robot l you 0:55:46.400 --> 0:55:50.440 have the right to remain silent some kind of southern sheriff. 0:55:50.760 --> 0:55:54.600 I mean, he's great, but so much of his dialogue 0:55:54.600 --> 0:55:57.799 specifically is like, like, Stella, we have to go over 0:55:57.840 --> 0:55:59.960 here and push this button now so we can still 0:56:00.120 --> 0:56:02.400 up the bad guys. Like there's a lot of like 0:56:02.760 --> 0:56:05.960 almost overt narration about what is going on and why, 0:56:06.719 --> 0:56:10.239 but it it becomes transcendent and becomes to feel it 0:56:10.320 --> 0:56:12.080 to feel like like ritual. 0:56:12.480 --> 0:56:15.360 Yeah, so you know, we so the cops come on 0:56:15.400 --> 0:56:18.000 the TV and then Stella says, in a sudden and 0:56:18.239 --> 0:56:24.000 jarringly rough bit of dubbing, go for hyperspace, So you know, 0:56:24.080 --> 0:56:27.399 the tortilla chip whips around and then it squirts them 0:56:27.440 --> 0:56:31.440 out into some kind of grainy crimson video. Realm, this 0:56:31.520 --> 0:56:34.200 is what happens with hyperspace in the movie. It it 0:56:34.280 --> 0:56:38.800 suddenly cuts to something happening on video with like huge pixel. 0:56:38.400 --> 0:56:41.600 Textah, just hard to watch, legitimately hard to stare at. 0:56:42.840 --> 0:56:46.799 Stella says. Then, in a strangely folksy voice, she says, 0:56:46.880 --> 0:56:51.600 let's hope this Starbuggy stays together. What's our chances? Acton 0:56:51.719 --> 0:56:56.480 says forty percent total disintegration, thirty percent molecular ignition, twenty 0:56:56.520 --> 0:57:01.560 percent gamma contamination. Now you mention earlier Rob the idea 0:57:01.600 --> 0:57:07.080 that even though this was in some sense derived from 0:57:07.160 --> 0:57:09.200 Star Wars, you could see other ways that it would 0:57:09.200 --> 0:57:12.799 prophesy future developments in Star Wars. I thought this one 0:57:12.880 --> 0:57:15.719 was interesting because see three Po talks like this in 0:57:15.880 --> 0:57:18.680 later Star Wars movies. But I think he does not 0:57:19.000 --> 0:57:22.160 talk like this in the Star Wars movie that had 0:57:22.160 --> 0:57:23.160 come out at this point. 0:57:23.760 --> 0:57:26.080 That's an interesting observation. So he hadn't he in the 0:57:26.080 --> 0:57:29.520 original Star Wars. He's less of a doomsayer in Negative Nelly. 0:57:29.800 --> 0:57:33.440 Well, he's Negative Nelly, But I don't recall him citing 0:57:33.720 --> 0:57:37.479 the odds of surviving a dangerous situation like he does 0:57:37.520 --> 0:57:41.640 repeatedly and Empire strikes back. That's an Empire innovation from 0:57:41.680 --> 0:57:45.960 at least from what I recall. So you know, it 0:57:46.040 --> 0:57:48.680 feels like an element stolen from Star Wars. But actually 0:57:48.680 --> 0:57:51.480 I think it's just coincidence Star Wars started doing something 0:57:51.680 --> 0:58:03.080 like this years later. Yeah, so they fiddle with some 0:58:03.160 --> 0:58:06.440 knobs and then they squirt back out of hyperspace. But oh, 0:58:06.520 --> 0:58:08.840 they say, look, it's a Neutron Star. If it gets 0:58:08.840 --> 0:58:12.600 hold of us, it will crush us. Fortunately it does 0:58:12.600 --> 0:58:15.360 not get hold of them. Instead, they cruise past it 0:58:15.400 --> 0:58:17.040 and then right up to the edge of a place 0:58:17.040 --> 0:58:22.320 that Acton calls the Haunted Stars. What is that place? 0:58:23.720 --> 0:58:26.000 And they don't really say, it's just the Haunted Stars. 0:58:26.080 --> 0:58:29.080 And then they stumble across something that's floating out in 0:58:29.120 --> 0:58:31.640 the dark, and we see it is one of the 0:58:31.840 --> 0:58:36.919 escape pods that launched from the rockade Blunner earlier. When 0:58:37.200 --> 0:58:41.160 Stella sees it, she says, what in the universe is that? 0:58:41.880 --> 0:58:47.240 And then she gasped and says, it's a spaceship. What 0:58:47.320 --> 0:58:48.000 else would it be? 0:58:48.200 --> 0:58:50.920 Yeah, everything in this film so far has been a spaceship. 0:58:51.160 --> 0:58:54.920 Yeah, what do you normally see floating in space? So 0:58:55.160 --> 0:58:58.680 Stella puts on a space suit that consists of a 0:58:58.840 --> 0:59:01.640 body shaped dry leaning bag and then a helmet that 0:59:01.680 --> 0:59:06.120 looks like a transparent plastic toilet, and space walks out 0:59:06.160 --> 0:59:09.520 to the derelict ship and finds an unconscious guy on board. 0:59:10.640 --> 0:59:13.480 They bring the survivor back to their ship, where Acton 0:59:13.640 --> 0:59:18.480 tells Stella he keeps talking about monsters, red monsters, and 0:59:18.640 --> 0:59:21.320 they're both just standing there beside him. I guess Acton 0:59:21.440 --> 0:59:24.720 is translating for her or something. Maybe he's a protocol droid. 0:59:24.720 --> 0:59:29.959 I don't know a question, sorry, actually pause? Is act 0:59:30.080 --> 0:59:34.400 On organic or a droid? Is he human or an alien? 0:59:34.640 --> 0:59:38.920 What is he? Do not know? They never bother to 0:59:38.960 --> 0:59:41.480 really establish it, but we see a lot of evidence 0:59:41.560 --> 0:59:43.760 later to support the idea that he's maybe some sort 0:59:43.800 --> 0:59:47.840 of an energy being. But yeah, you'd think that if 0:59:47.840 --> 0:59:50.080 that were the case, they would actually tell us what 0:59:50.240 --> 0:59:53.240 and why, And we never get that. Because you can 0:59:53.560 --> 0:59:58.080 manipulate light, he eventually turns into light. I don't know 0:59:58.120 --> 0:59:58.560 what he is. 0:59:59.120 --> 1:00:02.640 So Acton tells her that the man wants them to 1:00:02.800 --> 1:00:06.160 alert someone immediately. He wants them to call the emperor 1:00:06.280 --> 1:00:09.040 of the first circle of the universe. How many circles 1:00:09.080 --> 1:00:09.520 are there? 1:00:11.360 --> 1:00:12.280 Three? Four? 1:00:12.400 --> 1:00:16.360 Oh? Okay, but yeah, how do you alert the emperors? 1:00:16.440 --> 1:00:18.320 You have like a one eight hundred number you can call? 1:00:19.000 --> 1:00:20.920 Yeah, I mean weird that you can go right to 1:00:21.000 --> 1:00:23.120 the top. It seems like you have. There would be 1:00:23.120 --> 1:00:28.400 at least a go between for the random space jumpers 1:00:28.720 --> 1:00:31.480 to connect with instead of just speaking correctly to the emperor. 1:00:32.480 --> 1:00:34.640 So before they can figure out what to do, they 1:00:34.680 --> 1:00:38.160 are hailed once again on the viewscreen by Thor and l. 1:00:38.720 --> 1:00:41.320 So they've been caught again, and this time they're surrounded. 1:00:41.840 --> 1:00:46.360 Acton tells Stella, don't worry, we'll get out of this. Meanwhile, 1:00:46.400 --> 1:00:49.240 elsewhere in the galaxy, it is time to meet our villains. 1:00:49.400 --> 1:00:52.400 So we pan over a giant spaceship that is shaped 1:00:52.440 --> 1:00:56.440 like a hand with a big boxy palm, four fingers 1:00:56.480 --> 1:01:00.360 and a thumb, each with pointed triangle claws at the 1:01:00.480 --> 1:01:03.920 end of the finger. It's hard to imagine this design 1:01:04.000 --> 1:01:08.040 is for functional reasons, like you end up with a 1:01:08.040 --> 1:01:11.040 spaceship like this, I think because the dark Lord insists 1:01:11.160 --> 1:01:13.280 that the spaceship must look like a huge hand. 1:01:13.640 --> 1:01:16.760 Yeah, and if this were not too much already, we'll 1:01:16.760 --> 1:01:18.920 see later that it can form a fist or a 1:01:19.040 --> 1:01:23.240 rough fist like those fingers mooth. Clearly the dark Lord 1:01:23.360 --> 1:01:25.560 insisted that this be part of it, right. 1:01:26.040 --> 1:01:28.880 It clinches when the ship's about to do something really mean. 1:01:29.800 --> 1:01:32.200 So inside the ship we get a view of the bridge. 1:01:32.280 --> 1:01:34.440 Rob how would you describe this bridge? 1:01:35.160 --> 1:01:38.200 Well, it literally has a bridge. It has like a catwalk. 1:01:39.160 --> 1:01:42.600 Catwalk of course, always a great addition to any sort 1:01:42.640 --> 1:01:45.680 of sci fi action set, especially if you have some 1:01:46.080 --> 1:01:48.880 dedicated stump men that are willing to take a dive 1:01:48.920 --> 1:01:50.240 over the edge of set railing. 1:01:50.600 --> 1:01:53.440 Yeah, I would call this kind of spike chic. There 1:01:53.440 --> 1:01:58.480 are just spikes everywhere. Why so many spikes? And people 1:01:58.480 --> 1:02:02.160 here are absolutely worring Planet of the Vampire's costumes but 1:02:02.280 --> 1:02:07.280 dopey versions. Yeah. They look like a cross between Planet 1:02:07.320 --> 1:02:09.520 of the Vampires and people from House Frey. 1:02:09.960 --> 1:02:12.840 Yeah, and it is. It is also a film like 1:02:12.880 --> 1:02:15.240 this is a great way to remind ourselves just how 1:02:15.320 --> 1:02:18.000 good Planet the Vampires is, at least how great it 1:02:18.200 --> 1:02:21.200 looks and sounds when you see it done. You know, 1:02:22.400 --> 1:02:23.640 not at the same level. 1:02:24.480 --> 1:02:26.840 So one of these officers on the bridge comes up 1:02:26.840 --> 1:02:30.640 to the Boss and says, they found one damned survivor. 1:02:31.560 --> 1:02:34.280 This guy is el Rick. He is a tooth grinding 1:02:34.360 --> 1:02:35.000 little toady. 1:02:35.600 --> 1:02:37.280 Elmric spicy. He's a little spicy. 1:02:37.560 --> 1:02:40.680 Yeah, he looks he looks mad all the time. He's 1:02:40.680 --> 1:02:47.360 like But the Boss is again, just the wonderful, extraordinary 1:02:47.440 --> 1:02:51.960 villain of this film, Count zarth Arn obviously our Darth Vader. 1:02:52.560 --> 1:02:55.680 You know, Zarreth Darth. It's not hard to see. But 1:02:55.800 --> 1:02:59.920 since they decided to use the Darth Vader helmet already 1:03:00.080 --> 1:03:03.760 on a goofy cop droid from Alabama. They have to 1:03:04.840 --> 1:03:07.040 we got to do something else for the actual Darth 1:03:07.120 --> 1:03:10.160 Vader character, so they just leave his head uncovered. So 1:03:10.800 --> 1:03:14.600 instead we get a sith Lord served open faced in 1:03:14.680 --> 1:03:17.760 a black vinyl suit with a utility belt and this 1:03:17.920 --> 1:03:21.280 burgundy velvet cape. Like he is some kind of mystical 1:03:21.360 --> 1:03:26.440 vampire chocolateer. You know, he's part Darth Vader, part Batman, 1:03:26.720 --> 1:03:29.360 part Willie Wonka, part Louis the Fourteenth. 1:03:29.760 --> 1:03:32.680 Yes, yeah, I mean, on one level, it makes sense 1:03:33.240 --> 1:03:37.760 you've cast Joe Spinel in this role. Why wouldn't you 1:03:37.800 --> 1:03:41.840 want to look at him? Like he's very captivating face, 1:03:41.880 --> 1:03:46.280 a very expressive face. As is he the right casting? 1:03:46.440 --> 1:03:48.600 I would argu know, But if you've cast him, you've 1:03:48.600 --> 1:03:51.520 already committed to it. Don't put a mask over him. Yeah, 1:03:51.560 --> 1:03:52.720 let's absolutely see him. 1:03:53.080 --> 1:03:57.640 Agree. So Elrick says that the Imperial Navy has located 1:03:57.680 --> 1:03:59.760 one of the escape pods and that there is a 1:04:00.800 --> 1:04:06.320 but quote, his brain seems thoroughly damaged, so you know, 1:04:06.400 --> 1:04:09.840 they think there's little risk of the stolen ship being found. 1:04:10.920 --> 1:04:13.720 And Zarthorn reacts to this news by walking a few 1:04:13.760 --> 1:04:20.440 paces over and saying in a growley voice, come to me, golams. Ah, so, golams. 1:04:20.520 --> 1:04:24.040 That's an interesting mythology edition. Here is this gonna be 1:04:24.080 --> 1:04:27.240 like the golam of progue? Not at all. These golams 1:04:27.240 --> 1:04:30.840 are droids. They're just they're droids with angry duck faces 1:04:30.920 --> 1:04:31.840 holding machetes. 1:04:32.000 --> 1:04:34.480 Yeah, and these are absolutely the ones that look a 1:04:34.520 --> 1:04:36.800 bit like what we would eventually see whether our b 1:04:36.920 --> 1:04:38.880 One battle droids in the Phantom Menace. 1:04:39.200 --> 1:04:41.080 They do look like that. But you know what they 1:04:41.120 --> 1:04:44.200 also look like is the mad scientist from the Nightmare 1:04:44.240 --> 1:04:45.120 before Christmas. 1:04:45.400 --> 1:04:47.480 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. 1:04:47.600 --> 1:04:51.360 Yeah yeah, little the duck lips and the big head. Yeah. 1:04:51.560 --> 1:04:54.680 So Zarthorne says, I have a simple task for you. You 1:04:54.560 --> 1:04:56.960 must not fail me. We're gonna find out later what 1:04:57.000 --> 1:05:00.600 the task is. So next we cut to a trial. 1:05:01.480 --> 1:05:03.800 I just wanted to mention this. A Stella Star and 1:05:03.920 --> 1:05:07.360 Acton are tried for their crimes, which are smuggling. I 1:05:07.400 --> 1:05:10.560 think we don't learn a lot about their crimes. They're 1:05:10.600 --> 1:05:14.880 being tried in this green disco space court where the 1:05:15.000 --> 1:05:19.640 judge is a huge green and gold head with tentacles 1:05:19.680 --> 1:05:22.560 inside a dome, and this seems to me to be 1:05:22.680 --> 1:05:26.760 a pretty obvious visual reference to the Martian controller head 1:05:26.920 --> 1:05:30.760 in an earlier movie, William Cameron Menzi's Invaders from Mars 1:05:30.760 --> 1:05:33.360 from nineteen fifty three. Rob, I've got a picture of 1:05:33.360 --> 1:05:35.120 this for you to look at in the outline here. 1:05:36.000 --> 1:05:38.320 I think, like that is so close it could not 1:05:38.600 --> 1:05:42.360 but be an homage or a nod or whatever you 1:05:42.360 --> 1:05:42.920 want to call it. 1:05:43.440 --> 1:05:45.760 Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think there's some things similar 1:05:45.800 --> 1:05:47.960 to this elsewhere in like comic books and all. But 1:05:48.800 --> 1:05:50.520 I have a feeling you're dead on here. 1:05:50.920 --> 1:05:53.360 Yeah, I mean, the colors are so similar, and the 1:05:53.400 --> 1:05:55.880 tentacles on the head and all that. 1:05:55.920 --> 1:05:59.240 Anyway, it's amazing how weird this character is, to the 1:05:59.280 --> 1:06:02.240 extent we can call it character. This moment is in 1:06:02.280 --> 1:06:04.960 the film, but you almost completely forget about it in 1:06:04.960 --> 1:06:07.280 the wake of everything that's to come and all. Just 1:06:07.480 --> 1:06:10.320 like again, the absurd dialogue choices. 1:06:10.200 --> 1:06:13.520 Goes through the shredder of the mind within minutes after 1:06:13.560 --> 1:06:16.800 you've seen it. So Acton and Stella get assigned life 1:06:16.840 --> 1:06:20.560 sentences of you know, they're sentto forced labor on different planets, 1:06:20.640 --> 1:06:23.720 and it sounds it sounds like he says Stella is 1:06:23.800 --> 1:06:26.960 going to have to go to Pino colony on Nocturne 1:06:27.200 --> 1:06:31.080 the second, like Pino noir Gratio. 1:06:31.320 --> 1:06:34.200 I think she also misunderstood them because she is not 1:06:34.320 --> 1:06:36.840 dressed for a penal colony, not at all. 1:06:37.480 --> 1:06:40.160 So we cut straight to Stella star already at her 1:06:40.160 --> 1:06:42.800 prison camp. The vibe at this place, you know, it's 1:06:42.840 --> 1:06:48.160 your standard dilithium minds of Ruapenthe and the prisoners have 1:06:48.240 --> 1:06:52.760 to carry big translucent beach balls that the warden identifies 1:06:52.800 --> 1:06:56.040 as radium up onto a platform and then they dump 1:06:56.120 --> 1:07:00.840 the balls into a steamy hole. And so Stella has 1:07:00.960 --> 1:07:04.960 changed into her radioactive prison labor outfit here, which is 1:07:05.040 --> 1:07:08.720 a black leather bikini with high heeled boots, like thigh 1:07:08.840 --> 1:07:12.360 high high heeled black leather boots. All of the other 1:07:12.400 --> 1:07:15.200 prisoners are wearing rags with long sleeves. 1:07:15.480 --> 1:07:18.520 Yeah, but she's dressed up here and it's weird. She 1:07:18.560 --> 1:07:21.400 will actually find ways to dress down further and wear 1:07:21.480 --> 1:07:24.680 less clothes later in the film without actually being naked. 1:07:24.880 --> 1:07:28.360 Yeah. So the guards call for a brief rest here, 1:07:28.720 --> 1:07:32.040 Stella starts complaining to her fellow prisoners. She says, I've 1:07:32.080 --> 1:07:35.480 been at this twelve hours. The radiation will burn my 1:07:35.600 --> 1:07:38.760 skin off, and it's like, yeah, they know, dude, Like, 1:07:39.240 --> 1:07:41.320 I think they've been here longer than you have. Why 1:07:41.360 --> 1:07:45.440 are you complaining at them? But so one of the 1:07:45.480 --> 1:07:48.520 other guys, he doesn't react like that. He just says, 1:07:48.520 --> 1:07:50.680 you'd better work if you don't want to taste the 1:07:50.720 --> 1:07:56.360 burning of their energy whips too. So Stella, she begins 1:07:56.400 --> 1:07:59.880 planning an escape with the other prisoners, something about over 1:08:00.080 --> 1:08:02.880 feeding the furnace with a gun ray. But they get 1:08:02.880 --> 1:08:06.320 caught by a guard. A fight breaks out, Stella beats 1:08:06.320 --> 1:08:08.600 the crap out of the guard. One of the other 1:08:08.680 --> 1:08:12.120 prisoners takes the guard's blaster, and then all hell breaks loose. 1:08:12.200 --> 1:08:15.080 The prisoners and the guards start fighting. I thought, here, 1:08:15.160 --> 1:08:18.280 maybe Stella was going to lead a prison break, you know, 1:08:18.439 --> 1:08:21.040 she's like, oh, okay, yeah, we'll all rebel and we'll 1:08:21.040 --> 1:08:22.720 get out of here. Instead, it just seems like she 1:08:22.800 --> 1:08:24.200 sneaks out the back while Yeah, she. 1:08:24.160 --> 1:08:26.960 Just takes a beat line for the exit, and it's like, 1:08:27.560 --> 1:08:29.479 it's every humanoid for themselves here. 1:08:29.600 --> 1:08:32.280 Yeah, and then the prison explodes I think something. 1:08:32.320 --> 1:08:34.160 Yeah, or the plant. I don't know how. Yeah, the 1:08:34.200 --> 1:08:36.040 scale of this explosion is uncertain. 1:08:36.840 --> 1:08:39.120 That's not the planet yet, because she goes she's out 1:08:39.120 --> 1:08:39.760 in a wheat field. 1:08:39.800 --> 1:08:41.200 That's right, she gets into the wheat field. 1:08:42.320 --> 1:08:45.440 So we soon learned that this prison break was absolutely 1:08:45.439 --> 1:08:48.639 pointless because while Stella is out running around in some 1:08:48.720 --> 1:08:52.040 fields with tall grass, a ship lands. I think maybe 1:08:52.120 --> 1:08:54.880 it's her old spaceship. Maybe I'm not. 1:08:54.920 --> 1:08:57.439 Possibly again, hard to tell. The spaceship's apart in this film. 1:08:57.720 --> 1:09:00.719 It lands, she goes inside. There's a nice looking shot 1:09:00.800 --> 1:09:02.960 here with some of that jallo lighting where she comes 1:09:02.960 --> 1:09:06.120 down a long hall holding a holding a rifle with 1:09:06.200 --> 1:09:07.520 this hot pink background. 1:09:07.520 --> 1:09:10.479 Oh are you talking about the rifle ray, the rifle ray. 1:09:10.560 --> 1:09:15.240 Yes, yeah, the rifle ray. And she goes into the 1:09:15.240 --> 1:09:18.040 ship and then meets none other than the two space 1:09:18.120 --> 1:09:20.639 cops who caught her in the first place. So again 1:09:20.680 --> 1:09:23.679 you've got Thor, the bald snarling man with the green skin, 1:09:24.120 --> 1:09:28.920 and l the country fried robot cop. So they revealed 1:09:28.960 --> 1:09:31.719 that she has been granted a pardon the way Elle 1:09:31.760 --> 1:09:35.559 says it is quote, your sentence has been canceled. Then 1:09:37.439 --> 1:09:41.080 Stella says, have you both gone? Mad Elle says, I 1:09:41.240 --> 1:09:45.880 only have logic and emotion circuits, no room for craziness. Well, 1:09:46.040 --> 1:09:49.400 I've been assigned a top secret imperial mission. We must 1:09:49.479 --> 1:09:53.760 leave now and set Acton free. So I was thinking, oh, well, 1:09:53.840 --> 1:09:54.880 is there going to be a scene where they have 1:09:54.920 --> 1:09:57.840 to break him out of prison? But no Elle hasn't 1:09:57.840 --> 1:10:00.400 even finished talking when it just cuts a way to 1:10:00.520 --> 1:10:02.920 Acton being thrust up out of a hole in the 1:10:02.960 --> 1:10:06.400 floor on a spaceship somewhere, and there's a bearded guy 1:10:06.439 --> 1:10:09.400 sitting on a throne next to the hole and he says, 1:10:09.439 --> 1:10:12.400 there he's yours, my gift to you. 1:10:14.240 --> 1:10:16.720 Wow. So everything we've seen from these two thus far 1:10:16.800 --> 1:10:18.200 is just completely unnecessary. 1:10:18.400 --> 1:10:22.080 Yeah, the whole gang's back together now, so and it's 1:10:22.120 --> 1:10:24.760 the four of them. It is stell Star, Acton L 1:10:25.000 --> 1:10:27.479 and Thor and they have to go rendezvous with the 1:10:27.520 --> 1:10:31.800 Imperial flagship to get their orders. The Imperial flagship looks 1:10:31.880 --> 1:10:34.120 kind of like a giant gold turtle with a lot 1:10:34.160 --> 1:10:39.120 of spikes on its back. And when they're approaching, El says, Acton, 1:10:39.320 --> 1:10:41.559 you are ready to You are going to meet some 1:10:41.760 --> 1:10:45.360 real royalty. So that makes me think we're going inside 1:10:45.400 --> 1:10:50.960 the Imperial flagship, right, No, the Emperor is instead going 1:10:51.000 --> 1:10:54.000 to project a hologram into the room with them on 1:10:54.080 --> 1:10:56.160 their own ship. So I was kind of wondering, do 1:10:56.240 --> 1:10:58.160 they really need to come all this way? Maybe it's 1:10:58.160 --> 1:10:59.680 a limited range hologram. 1:10:59.840 --> 1:11:01.600 It must be, And this is going to be the 1:11:01.600 --> 1:11:05.080 scene where the Emperor's hologram manifests in front of some 1:11:05.280 --> 1:11:08.320 terrible looking stairs, Like of all the things you could 1:11:08.320 --> 1:11:10.960 have shot him against or had the hologram up here 1:11:11.000 --> 1:11:14.880 in front of. Why, there's a lot of stuff that 1:11:15.000 --> 1:11:17.360 looks better on the sets. The sets of this film 1:11:17.520 --> 1:11:20.599 are generally pretty interesting. Why these stairs, I don't know. 1:11:20.960 --> 1:11:23.160 Why is it a hologram at all? I wonder if 1:11:23.200 --> 1:11:25.240 it's trying to do the help me Obi wan Kenobi, 1:11:25.280 --> 1:11:28.479 You're my only hope thing with the hologram there, But 1:11:29.000 --> 1:11:32.080 I don't know. So this is the Emperor, the good Emperor. 1:11:33.040 --> 1:11:36.559 He suddenly appears and then el points behind all the 1:11:36.600 --> 1:11:39.400 crew and he says, he's here. It's his hole, low 1:11:39.439 --> 1:11:40.400 graphic image. 1:11:40.760 --> 1:11:42.840 There he is, and he is dressed and again what 1:11:42.960 --> 1:11:45.719 just looks like a full body golden chastity belt. 1:11:47.120 --> 1:11:52.519 God. Yeah, yeah, words fail me. So I'm just going 1:11:52.600 --> 1:11:54.800 to read the Emperor's monologue here. This is where he 1:11:54.840 --> 1:11:59.720 gives them their assignment. Emperor says, I come to you, 1:11:59.760 --> 1:12:02.880 because because my faithful robot l has told me that 1:12:03.000 --> 1:12:05.920 you are the only one who could save us. You know, 1:12:06.240 --> 1:12:09.280 you must be the best pilot in the whole galaxy. 1:12:09.960 --> 1:12:12.080 And then I was thinking, oh, she's a pilot. 1:12:12.400 --> 1:12:15.760 Yes, have we seen anything about it? I mean, they 1:12:15.760 --> 1:12:18.840 were both tweaking knobs, so I didn't know. I thought 1:12:18.880 --> 1:12:19.839 they were both the pilot. 1:12:20.640 --> 1:12:22.880 It seemed like Acton was flying the ship earlier. I 1:12:22.920 --> 1:12:25.360 don't know. But he says, you're the best pilot in 1:12:25.400 --> 1:12:28.960 the galaxy, and you act on the best navigator Stella. 1:12:29.120 --> 1:12:33.040 Our galaxy is split into two warring factions, our own 1:12:33.280 --> 1:12:36.160 and the one ruled by the evil Count zarth Arn 1:12:36.400 --> 1:12:39.759 from the League of the Dark Worlds. Then I thought, 1:12:41.040 --> 1:12:45.040 which faction was it that sentenced her to the prison planet. 1:12:45.120 --> 1:12:47.960 I think it was his faction, the good Guys. Yes, yeah, 1:12:48.000 --> 1:12:51.599 the good Guys. Okay, Then he and then he goes 1:12:51.640 --> 1:12:53.960 on to say there's something wrong here. There's a sentence 1:12:54.040 --> 1:12:58.560 missing a subject. He says, recently begun to receive troublesome 1:12:58.640 --> 1:13:02.559 reports from our spy among the League. They've informed us 1:13:02.600 --> 1:13:06.200 that the Count has created a weapon, a new limitless weapon, 1:13:06.520 --> 1:13:10.040 a weapon so vast, so huge that it would almost 1:13:10.080 --> 1:13:13.519 be called a death star, that it would take a 1:13:13.600 --> 1:13:15.200 whole planet to conceal it. 1:13:15.960 --> 1:13:18.280 Star Wars would eventually kind of get back to this idea, 1:13:18.280 --> 1:13:19.759 wouldn't they in the sequel trilogy. 1:13:20.040 --> 1:13:21.840 Yeah, you need it, that's right, You need a whole 1:13:21.840 --> 1:13:24.240 planet to conceal the weapon. So yeah, So this is 1:13:24.280 --> 1:13:27.160 the backstory the ship that got attacked in the prologue 1:13:27.200 --> 1:13:30.639 by the red Lava Lamp, which again that's what everybody 1:13:30.720 --> 1:13:32.920 keeps calling it the red monsters, but we just see 1:13:32.920 --> 1:13:36.040 the red lights floating around and people of course clutching 1:13:36.080 --> 1:13:40.240 their heads and going, oh. So that ship was sent 1:13:40.400 --> 1:13:45.160 by the Emperor to find Zarthorne's death planet, and it came, 1:13:45.439 --> 1:13:50.200 in Christopher Plumber's words, so close, so close to discovering 1:13:50.240 --> 1:13:53.080 the Count's secret when it was suddenly attacked by a 1:13:53.120 --> 1:13:56.760 horde of unknown monsters. But he knows that the ship 1:13:56.840 --> 1:13:59.559 sent out some escape pods like we saw earlier. So 1:13:59.680 --> 1:14:02.760 now with the utmost secrecy, they have to sail to 1:14:02.760 --> 1:14:06.160 the Haunted Stars, find the escape pods, discover the location 1:14:06.280 --> 1:14:10.160 of the Count's secret planet, and destroy it. And then 1:14:10.240 --> 1:14:13.879 the hole logram Emperor turns around and starts to slowly 1:14:14.000 --> 1:14:16.479 wander away. Why is he walking away if it's a 1:14:16.520 --> 1:14:20.960 hologram yeaheah, you'd think he'd turn it off instead of 1:14:21.000 --> 1:14:24.720 walking away. But then he stops and he looks back 1:14:24.760 --> 1:14:28.120 over his shoulder, and it's a one more thing. My 1:14:28.240 --> 1:14:30.680 son is David Hasseloff, and you know he was the 1:14:30.720 --> 1:14:33.640 commander of the ship. You've got to find him. And 1:14:33.680 --> 1:14:36.800 then wistful music plays as we watch the Imperial flagship 1:14:36.840 --> 1:14:40.479 drift away. So after this they talk about the different 1:14:40.520 --> 1:14:43.160 planets they can go to. Acton says we could go 1:14:43.240 --> 1:14:46.880 to the Origa system, also known as the World's Asleep, 1:14:47.040 --> 1:14:49.760 but the problem is they can't find this system. And 1:14:49.800 --> 1:14:51.719 then he says, we could also go to the White 1:14:51.800 --> 1:14:54.920 Sun of Ozone, but the problem is, once again we 1:14:54.960 --> 1:14:57.400 don't know where it is. So there's only one more 1:14:57.439 --> 1:15:00.000 place we can look. Quote the heart of the Haunt 1:15:00.320 --> 1:15:05.479 stars an unknown planet named Eurefus. So that's where they're 1:15:05.479 --> 1:15:10.479 gonna go. So there's some funny chatter about hyperspace while 1:15:10.520 --> 1:15:13.720 they travel. L tells us every time I go to hyperspace, 1:15:13.800 --> 1:15:16.800 I get nervous. This will become a theme. 1:15:16.600 --> 1:15:19.560 That I was programmed to feel nervous during hyperspace. I 1:15:19.560 --> 1:15:21.600 don't know. It seems like a program in error to me. 1:15:22.120 --> 1:15:25.080 Yeah, yeah, exactly. What's the point of that? He just 1:15:25.080 --> 1:15:27.479 gets nervous about a lot of things, and then later 1:15:27.560 --> 1:15:31.080 denies getting nervous about other things. And so they go 1:15:31.120 --> 1:15:35.200 to the planet Eurefus Stella and L take the shuttle 1:15:35.200 --> 1:15:37.719 down to the surface while Acton and Thor stay aboard 1:15:37.720 --> 1:15:40.760 the main ship. While flying down over the ocean to 1:15:40.800 --> 1:15:44.720 the landing area, L keeps complaining again full of anxieties. 1:15:44.720 --> 1:15:47.280 He says, don't you think we're flying a little too low? 1:15:47.640 --> 1:15:50.200 I haven't been programmed to walk on water. Ooh me, 1:15:50.439 --> 1:15:54.680 water makes me nervous. So they go down and they 1:15:54.720 --> 1:15:58.000 investigate the crash remains of the escape pod on the beach. 1:15:58.120 --> 1:16:00.639 It looks like there are no survivors. And then while 1:16:00.640 --> 1:16:03.360 they're checking out the surroundings, they are approached by some 1:16:03.479 --> 1:16:07.759 local life forms. It is barbarian women riding horses painted 1:16:07.800 --> 1:16:11.599 red with these big red horse monster masks. They're kind 1:16:11.600 --> 1:16:16.080 of horse lobsters, and L says, look, amazon's on horseback. 1:16:16.920 --> 1:16:19.519 Seems to be a known type of person to approach you. 1:16:20.360 --> 1:16:22.400 I to have to add real quick here that this 1:16:22.479 --> 1:16:24.559 is one of the many we were not all just 1:16:24.720 --> 1:16:26.400 we don't spend all of our time in spaceships, we 1:16:26.439 --> 1:16:29.080 of course do have these wonderful locations. They make some 1:16:29.160 --> 1:16:32.760 great use of Italian locations for the film as well, 1:16:32.800 --> 1:16:35.360 including these beachside cliffs. 1:16:35.640 --> 1:16:38.519 Yeah. So the Amazons take Stella and l back to 1:16:38.560 --> 1:16:40.479 their layer, which just looks the same as all the 1:16:40.520 --> 1:16:44.519 other spaceship interiors. For some reason, while they're walking to 1:16:44.600 --> 1:16:47.800 meet the queen, they whip out laser guns. They say, 1:16:48.000 --> 1:16:51.360 die robot, and they blast l Why did they do that? 1:16:52.439 --> 1:16:56.640 They don't like robots, I guess. Okay, Amazonians and robots. 1:16:56.160 --> 1:17:01.400 It's a very old feud that you can wrap up anytime. 1:17:01.040 --> 1:17:04.479 Soon, Taylor's oldest time. So yeah, Stella tries to fight them, 1:17:04.840 --> 1:17:08.360 but she's surrounded at gunpoint and they overpower her, and 1:17:08.400 --> 1:17:20.760 then they take her to the Amazon Queen Corelia. When 1:17:20.800 --> 1:17:22.599 they go to meet the queen, it turns out Queen 1:17:22.680 --> 1:17:27.200 Karelia uh Oh is loyal to Count Zartharn. That's a mistake, 1:17:27.640 --> 1:17:30.320 so she accuses Stella of being a spy and then 1:17:30.400 --> 1:17:33.160 taunts her, saying, even if you're a very talented spy, 1:17:33.320 --> 1:17:37.679 you will never discover the Count's hidden planet. Two packs 1:17:37.720 --> 1:17:40.840 of murdering guardians are there to watch and protect it 1:17:40.880 --> 1:17:46.960 from intruders, and now put her into the mind probe. Oh, 1:17:47.000 --> 1:17:49.800 mind probe. I want to see what that is. Obviously, 1:17:49.960 --> 1:17:52.719 Stella knows what that is and fears it greatly, because 1:17:52.720 --> 1:17:56.519 she drops her normally cool and unemotional facade and just 1:17:56.560 --> 1:17:57.960 starts screaming. 1:17:57.560 --> 1:18:00.599 Like no, not the mind probe, but. 1:18:00.760 --> 1:18:03.120 No minds will be probed. We don't get to find 1:18:03.160 --> 1:18:06.800 out what that is because before we can get there, 1:18:07.280 --> 1:18:09.840 l the robot appears again, points a ray gun at 1:18:09.840 --> 1:18:12.839 the Amazon queen and forces them to hand over Stella. 1:18:13.120 --> 1:18:15.519 So it turns out he was not dead. He says 1:18:15.520 --> 1:18:18.680 to Karelia, give me any trouble, and I'm going to 1:18:18.720 --> 1:18:23.400 clean out your sinus. Is real, good, lady. Strangely evocative 1:18:23.520 --> 1:18:25.840 threat and not really in keeping with the tone of 1:18:25.880 --> 1:18:27.200 the rest of the script. 1:18:27.000 --> 1:18:30.120 But also the weird threat like no, not my cloud sinuses. 1:18:31.880 --> 1:18:35.519 Together, Elle and Stella escape the palace. This requires a 1:18:35.680 --> 1:18:39.720 very dramatic blasting of a door that won't open, and 1:18:39.760 --> 1:18:42.280 then they make it back out on the beach where 1:18:42.280 --> 1:18:44.280 they landed. But now they have to contend with a 1:18:44.320 --> 1:18:48.880 new threat. Queen Corelia talks to a TV screen and says, Guardian, 1:18:49.120 --> 1:18:54.160 take my revenge, kill them. The Guardian here is a giant, 1:18:54.360 --> 1:18:59.639 silver stop motion automaton clearly inspired by the Tallows monster 1:19:00.160 --> 1:19:03.400 created by Ray Harryhausen for the nineteen sixty three Jason 1:19:03.439 --> 1:19:06.320 and the Argonauts. Even the staging at the beach is similar, 1:19:07.240 --> 1:19:10.679 but the Guardian here is somewhat different in design from 1:19:10.880 --> 1:19:13.800 the Tallos. It has elements of maybe kind of a 1:19:13.880 --> 1:19:18.280 Hindu goddess appearance like Lakshmi, other elements of a more 1:19:18.640 --> 1:19:21.680 classic robot or metal man like the tin Man and 1:19:21.720 --> 1:19:22.639 the Wizard of Oz. 1:19:23.000 --> 1:19:24.599 It does have brass and nipples. 1:19:24.960 --> 1:19:28.760 Yeah, yeah, yeah, so got lot of different things going on. 1:19:28.880 --> 1:19:31.759 I'm not sure exactly what the main inspiration is here, 1:19:32.240 --> 1:19:34.519 but like the forearms in the hands are more just 1:19:34.680 --> 1:19:40.080 Wizard of Oz tin Man. Anyway, Stella and Elle have 1:19:40.200 --> 1:19:43.559 to hide from and hold off the giant Guardian until 1:19:43.600 --> 1:19:46.599 Acton arrives in the ship and blasts it with a laser. 1:19:46.720 --> 1:19:48.160 That solves a problem. 1:19:48.439 --> 1:19:52.280 I have to say this stop motion Guardian so hilarious 1:19:52.320 --> 1:19:55.280 because it is this effect is barely working. I mean, 1:19:55.479 --> 1:19:58.400 I love even bad stop motion is great stop motion. 1:19:58.640 --> 1:19:59.559 I still love it. 1:19:59.720 --> 1:20:01.200 But I like the Golams later. 1:20:01.320 --> 1:20:03.439 Yeah, yeah, the Gollams look better later. But this thing 1:20:03.479 --> 1:20:07.080 looks like it's just about to fall over at any moment. 1:20:07.160 --> 1:20:09.120 It feels so ineffective. 1:20:09.479 --> 1:20:11.320 Well, I mean, I think a big problem with this 1:20:11.400 --> 1:20:14.360 scene is it felt to me like they did not 1:20:14.600 --> 1:20:18.400 have the space or the ability to record the full 1:20:18.600 --> 1:20:23.080 range of motions that would be required to stage out 1:20:23.080 --> 1:20:26.559 the scene. So you just get kind of close ups 1:20:26.560 --> 1:20:30.519 of a moving hand suggesting that it is swiping at 1:20:30.600 --> 1:20:32.720 the characters on the ground or something like. You don't 1:20:32.720 --> 1:20:33.920 see it all interacting. 1:20:34.080 --> 1:20:37.439 Yeah, I mean again, it's another case where we can 1:20:37.479 --> 1:20:41.439 look at it done less effectively and realize just how 1:20:41.520 --> 1:20:44.599 great Harry Housen was at what he did, not only 1:20:44.720 --> 1:20:47.719 in bringing this full range of movement to stop motion creatures, 1:20:47.720 --> 1:20:51.000 but integrating that with human action and making it feel 1:20:51.040 --> 1:20:53.479 like everything's part of the same world. It's hard to 1:20:53.520 --> 1:20:55.719 do and so you're not going to see it done 1:20:56.160 --> 1:20:57.519 that effectively all the time. 1:20:58.400 --> 1:21:00.760 So everybody leaves in the ship, and then there is 1:21:00.800 --> 1:21:03.280 a brief space battle where they have to fight off 1:21:03.320 --> 1:21:07.599 some of the Amazon space fighters. As I've said earlier, 1:21:07.720 --> 1:21:09.640 you know, I love Star Crash. But I think the 1:21:09.680 --> 1:21:12.719 space battles are just not where it's at in this movie. 1:21:12.760 --> 1:21:15.559 They are consistently the most boring part of the film. 1:21:15.680 --> 1:21:18.240 A lot of close ups of people saying fire go 1:21:18.320 --> 1:21:22.000 to max power, and then you have these model spaceships 1:21:22.000 --> 1:21:26.840 whizzing around randomly and shooting lasers. It's like they're not 1:21:27.439 --> 1:21:31.759 good enough to be dramatically interesting. They don't look especially cool, 1:21:31.800 --> 1:21:34.599 but they also don't look bad enough to be really funny. 1:21:34.680 --> 1:21:36.920 They just look good enough, so I kind of tune 1:21:36.960 --> 1:21:37.240 it out. 1:21:37.439 --> 1:21:41.759 And they're also really jarring. So yeah, so it's actually 1:21:41.840 --> 1:21:44.080 I found it difficult to tune them out, like I'm 1:21:44.080 --> 1:21:47.360 not invested, and I also cannot think of anything else 1:21:47.439 --> 1:21:48.360 what that's happening. 1:21:48.600 --> 1:21:51.680 Yeah, fair enough, Yeah, all right, so our heroes move on. 1:21:51.760 --> 1:21:53.760 They win the space battle, of course, you know, they win, 1:21:53.840 --> 1:21:56.760 and they go onto the cold planet. So they're gonna 1:21:56.760 --> 1:21:58.799 have to check out the escape pod on a planet 1:21:58.840 --> 1:22:01.720 covered with ice and snow where the temperature drops were 1:22:01.720 --> 1:22:06.160 told by thousands of degrees at night. That's that's for real. 1:22:07.240 --> 1:22:09.840 So once again, Stella and l the Robot have to 1:22:09.880 --> 1:22:12.360 go check out the crash site while Acton and thor 1:22:12.520 --> 1:22:15.360 stay aboard the ship. They get to the crash site, 1:22:15.360 --> 1:22:19.960 everybody's dead, and then Stella begins to get fatalistic. She says, 1:22:20.000 --> 1:22:22.679 there's no hope of ever finding the other escape pod 1:22:22.840 --> 1:22:25.759 or the count secret planet. It's lost out in the stars. 1:22:26.560 --> 1:22:29.080 I noticed this happens a lot in the movie. Our 1:22:29.120 --> 1:22:33.880 heroin is really fond of complaining, of declaring a task 1:22:34.000 --> 1:22:38.800 impossible and assessing there is no hope. Not what you 1:22:38.920 --> 1:22:41.599 normally get with a plucky space adventurer. Carry. 1:22:41.680 --> 1:22:43.639 Yeah, and also, I guess the rest of the film 1:22:43.680 --> 1:22:46.760 is like it doesn't really feel that bad either, Like 1:22:46.800 --> 1:22:49.080 it doesn't feel that hopeless, Like the film is not 1:22:49.640 --> 1:22:52.040 really creating that sense of doom and gloom. We're just 1:22:52.080 --> 1:22:53.479 being told that it is the case. 1:22:53.800 --> 1:22:57.640 Yeah. Meanwhile, back on the ship, Acton amuses himself with 1:22:57.680 --> 1:23:00.760 these little laser lassos in his hands. Know what that was? 1:23:01.240 --> 1:23:03.320 No, But again, this is a great example of like, 1:23:03.360 --> 1:23:08.160 I guess he has power over light or laser energy, 1:23:08.320 --> 1:23:11.280 or is made out of light or laser energy. I 1:23:11.320 --> 1:23:14.160 don't know. It's just goofy and weird but kind of 1:23:14.160 --> 1:23:16.000 cool to watch. I just have no idea what it's 1:23:16.000 --> 1:23:16.599 supposed to mean. 1:23:17.160 --> 1:23:20.160 We're about to reveal a double agent. So while Acton 1:23:20.320 --> 1:23:23.000 is talking to the ship's computer, I don't think this 1:23:23.080 --> 1:23:25.479 comes up really after this part of the movie. Again, 1:23:25.920 --> 1:23:28.280 do they talk to the ship's computer later in the film. 1:23:28.479 --> 1:23:30.560 It's no, but it's like a big brain. It's like 1:23:30.600 --> 1:23:34.080 a big glowing brain. I like, gotcha, yeah, yeah, it 1:23:34.120 --> 1:23:35.280 almost looks organic. 1:23:36.280 --> 1:23:38.840 So he's talking to the ship while this is happening, Thor, 1:23:39.080 --> 1:23:42.679 the space cop this sneaks up behind Acton and knocks 1:23:42.720 --> 1:23:46.320 him unconscious, then places a video call to his boss, 1:23:46.400 --> 1:23:49.960 counts ar Thorn. So Thor tells Arthorn that he has 1:23:50.240 --> 1:23:53.559 killed the alien pathfinder. And then I was like, oh, 1:23:53.600 --> 1:23:56.720 Acton's an alien? Or from whose point of view? I 1:23:56.720 --> 1:23:58.200 guess maybe everybody's an alien. 1:23:58.479 --> 1:23:59.960 I feel like they should have established him as an 1:24:00.040 --> 1:24:02.920 alien pathfinder earlier on. You would have been more interesting 1:24:02.960 --> 1:24:03.400 from the get go. 1:24:04.080 --> 1:24:06.840 Count Zarthorn is very pleased, and so the plan from 1:24:06.840 --> 1:24:09.800 here is they're gonna lock Stella Star outside and let 1:24:09.800 --> 1:24:12.599 the cold kill her. But Thor tries to take off 1:24:12.640 --> 1:24:15.519 and leave without Stella and l and the ship announces 1:24:15.520 --> 1:24:19.320 a malfunction so it can't leave. And then when Ella 1:24:19.880 --> 1:24:23.680 not Ella, when Ell and Stella find out what happened that. 1:24:23.920 --> 1:24:27.240 Elle says thor a trader, I cannot believe it. I 1:24:27.280 --> 1:24:32.519 cannot trust my own logic circuits anymore. But anyway, Elle 1:24:32.680 --> 1:24:36.479 has an idea that might save Stella from freezing to death. 1:24:36.920 --> 1:24:39.240 He's like, I know what to do. He wants her 1:24:39.240 --> 1:24:41.799 to lay down in the snow and hold his hand, 1:24:42.760 --> 1:24:44.679 and this is going to put her in a state 1:24:44.760 --> 1:24:48.840 of suspended animation. And then I don't know. The vibe 1:24:48.840 --> 1:24:51.439 of this scene is weird. While she's dozing off, she 1:24:51.520 --> 1:24:54.880 starts getting all lovey dovey with L, like I don't 1:24:55.000 --> 1:24:57.640 like they're in love now or something. She says L 1:24:58.040 --> 1:25:00.800 as an opponent. I always knew you were programmed to 1:25:00.920 --> 1:25:04.920 never give up, which was infuriating, But now that quality 1:25:05.120 --> 1:25:09.400 must be best. You're the most faithful companion a woman 1:25:09.520 --> 1:25:13.639 ever had. Oh oh, could we workshop that? Man? 1:25:15.160 --> 1:25:17.719 I you know, the answer may be out there somewhere. 1:25:17.760 --> 1:25:21.960 But I kind of wondered if Christopher Plummer did a 1:25:22.000 --> 1:25:25.480 rewrite of his own lines, because I feel like his little. 1:25:25.200 --> 1:25:26.680 Monologues they're not great either. 1:25:26.720 --> 1:25:29.680 They're not great, but they feel a little more cohesive 1:25:29.840 --> 1:25:32.799 and a little less stupid than everything else in the picture. 1:25:33.040 --> 1:25:36.720 He doesn't talk about that quality must be best. Yes, 1:25:38.640 --> 1:25:42.080 uh so anyway, oh El also says in the scene, 1:25:42.080 --> 1:25:44.479 I like this. He says, now, maybe is a good 1:25:44.520 --> 1:25:47.800 time to use your ancient system of prayer and hope 1:25:47.800 --> 1:25:51.720 it works for robots as well. So I don't know 1:25:51.720 --> 1:25:53.960 whether she prays or not, but she freezes solid and 1:25:54.000 --> 1:25:55.960 turns into an ice crusted mannequin. 1:25:56.240 --> 1:25:57.679 Yeah, real Monroe sickle here. 1:25:58.360 --> 1:26:01.639 Meanwhile, back on the ship, Thor is busy getting chewed 1:26:01.640 --> 1:26:05.760 out from Zarthorn, or chewed out by Zarthorn for having 1:26:05.840 --> 1:26:08.360 not arrived yet, and Acton wakes up so he was 1:26:08.400 --> 1:26:11.479 not dead after all. This goes into a fight scene. 1:26:11.920 --> 1:26:14.880 You know, they tangle and tray blows. At one point, 1:26:14.920 --> 1:26:18.320 Thor is trying to crush Acton inside this big sculpture 1:26:18.439 --> 1:26:21.240 that has some sort of retracting drawer. I don't even 1:26:21.280 --> 1:26:25.839 know what this is. But Acton uses his eye sparkle powers. 1:26:26.880 --> 1:26:30.280 Yeah I get those, I guess, Yeah, like flashes his eyes, 1:26:30.439 --> 1:26:33.120 like light comes out of them and this knocks Thor back. 1:26:33.760 --> 1:26:35.519 Thor gets a hold of his gun and then here 1:26:35.560 --> 1:26:37.840 we get to my favorite line in the movie that 1:26:37.920 --> 1:26:41.880 I was talking about earlier. You know, Thor shoots Acton. 1:26:42.040 --> 1:26:45.400 Acton is unharmed, and Thor says, what, no one can 1:26:45.439 --> 1:26:49.599 survive these deadly rays. These deadly rays will be your death. 1:26:50.040 --> 1:26:52.679 So he holds up his hand. The deadly rays bounce 1:26:52.720 --> 1:26:55.000 off of it, reflect back and kill Thor. 1:26:55.800 --> 1:26:58.360 Quick thought about deadly rays when we were talking about 1:26:58.400 --> 1:27:00.680 the prison break sequence earlier, and there's a lot of 1:27:00.680 --> 1:27:03.040 gun fire, a lot of laser fire in that. I 1:27:03.080 --> 1:27:06.320 did really like the practical effects of the laser beams 1:27:06.360 --> 1:27:10.960 hitting people in tremendous sparks flying off of the person. 1:27:11.960 --> 1:27:16.720 It made the Sometimes in films like this, the ray 1:27:16.760 --> 1:27:21.040 guns can feel very neutered and fake, but this film 1:27:21.080 --> 1:27:23.080 at least succeeds in making them feel dangerous. 1:27:23.640 --> 1:27:25.760 Other times, though, people get shot with them and they 1:27:25.840 --> 1:27:27.400 just kind of disappear or something. 1:27:27.479 --> 1:27:29.280 Yeah, I guess it depends on your setting, right, are 1:27:29.280 --> 1:27:32.960 you set to disintegrate or mangle or sparkle? 1:27:33.800 --> 1:27:37.280 What are Acton's powers and where do they come from? 1:27:37.360 --> 1:27:39.679 What is the source of his power? Yeah? 1:27:39.680 --> 1:27:41.680 They never tell us, but I assent like, Okay, he's 1:27:41.720 --> 1:27:44.720 some sort of an alien. He is a pathfinder. He's 1:27:44.720 --> 1:27:46.519 got to be an energy being. He's some sort of 1:27:46.680 --> 1:27:49.400 energy being, and they just feel like this is one 1:27:49.400 --> 1:27:51.160 of the rare things that they're going to show rather 1:27:51.240 --> 1:27:54.559 than tell everything else, They're happy to keep telling us 1:27:54.600 --> 1:27:55.000 about it. 1:27:55.800 --> 1:27:58.120 So there's this whole sequence where they bring the frozen 1:27:58.200 --> 1:28:01.759 Stella Star the mannequin back on board and they warm 1:28:01.840 --> 1:28:04.800 her up. We learn that she may survive if you 1:28:04.880 --> 1:28:07.679 warn her, warm her slowly, else. 1:28:07.479 --> 1:28:10.960 Give her the reverse werewolf warming. Yeah, it's what they do. 1:28:11.400 --> 1:28:15.439 Yeah, And then Acton he shoots rainbow beams out of 1:28:15.439 --> 1:28:18.960 his hands and this warms her up. And then after 1:28:19.120 --> 1:28:21.040 Stella wakes up, there is what I thought was a 1:28:21.040 --> 1:28:25.799 really weird development. Acton reveals that the ship doesn't actually 1:28:25.840 --> 1:28:28.720 have a malfunction at all. The reason Thor couldn't get 1:28:28.720 --> 1:28:32.320 it to take off is because Acton removed a key 1:28:32.360 --> 1:28:37.439 component from the engine. Stella deduces from this that Acton 1:28:37.760 --> 1:28:42.479 knew about Thor's treachery in advance. But then instead of asking, like, 1:28:42.640 --> 1:28:44.640 what gave it away? You know, how did you know 1:28:44.720 --> 1:28:47.160 he was going to betray us, she just jumps right 1:28:47.200 --> 1:28:51.000 to the conclusion you can see into the future, and 1:28:51.080 --> 1:28:53.720 she's right. Acton can see into the future. He has 1:28:53.840 --> 1:28:57.799 previously undisclosed esp that allows him to know the future 1:28:57.800 --> 1:29:01.200 in advance. And then Stella says, all these years you 1:29:01.280 --> 1:29:03.920 never told me. Think of all the trouble I might 1:29:03.960 --> 1:29:07.559 have avoided, but act on counters, you would have tried 1:29:07.600 --> 1:29:11.080 to change the future, which is against the law. So 1:29:11.200 --> 1:29:13.000 therefore I can tell you nothing. 1:29:14.200 --> 1:29:14.640 I love it. 1:29:14.840 --> 1:29:16.800 I love the last we hear about that. 1:29:17.280 --> 1:29:19.479 Yeah, this is this. They've set it up like this 1:29:19.520 --> 1:29:22.960 is some huge revelation that's going to really play into 1:29:22.960 --> 1:29:25.360 the rest of the plot, and it doesn't. It's just like, oh, yeah, 1:29:25.360 --> 1:29:27.240 by the way, he can see the future. He just 1:29:27.240 --> 1:29:29.040 didn't tell you because it would be wrong for you 1:29:29.120 --> 1:29:30.880 to act on it. It would be against the law, 1:29:31.520 --> 1:29:32.479 be illegal, like. 1:29:32.680 --> 1:29:34.400 They might send us to a prison planet. 1:29:34.840 --> 1:29:38.840 Yeah, suddenly these smugglers are very concerned with breaking the law. 1:29:38.880 --> 1:29:40.280 I don't know. You don't want the Time cops on 1:29:40.320 --> 1:29:42.720 your back. It's different when the Time cops come after you. 1:29:42.960 --> 1:29:45.680 That's a good point. So but Stella really takes this 1:29:45.760 --> 1:29:47.800 in stride. She just kind of shakes it off. They 1:29:47.880 --> 1:29:49.320 go onto the next thing. So they're going to go 1:29:49.360 --> 1:29:52.160 to the third escape pod planet, this time on a 1:29:52.160 --> 1:30:05.639 barren waste land called de Mundia. So while approaching d Mundia, 1:30:05.760 --> 1:30:09.519 everything starts malfunctioning. We see red monsters. Remember again that's 1:30:09.600 --> 1:30:13.040 the lava lamp and the red lights everywhere. Elle says, 1:30:13.200 --> 1:30:16.320 my circuits are failing. I'm out of control. I'm out 1:30:16.320 --> 1:30:21.760 of control. Meanwhile, Stella says, ah, my head, and somehow 1:30:22.160 --> 1:30:25.320 Acton pilots them through it. And then when everything is 1:30:25.360 --> 1:30:28.839 back to normal, Acton says, we've just survived an attack 1:30:28.920 --> 1:30:33.439 of the most powerful weapon in the entire galaxy. I 1:30:33.479 --> 1:30:36.600 don't know, I mean, we just saw them go through it, 1:30:36.640 --> 1:30:38.719 and we've seen the same weapon used on other people. 1:30:39.040 --> 1:30:41.960 Lots of people surprised. It seems like explosives are probably 1:30:41.960 --> 1:30:43.040 more powerful. 1:30:42.680 --> 1:30:43.240 I would think, so. 1:30:43.439 --> 1:30:48.360 Yeah. So they go down to the planet's surface and 1:30:48.439 --> 1:30:50.800 they find the ship down to the bottom of a 1:30:50.800 --> 1:30:53.720 big crater. This is where we start seeing somebody in 1:30:53.720 --> 1:30:58.280 a gold Zardas mask following them, and Stella says she's 1:30:58.280 --> 1:31:02.040 going to go investigate the crater. L goes instead, and 1:31:02.080 --> 1:31:06.519 then there is a troglodyte ambush. So yeah, they're attacked 1:31:06.520 --> 1:31:07.760 by cave men. 1:31:08.160 --> 1:31:12.680 Yeah, it's it's really kind of hilarious the visions for 1:31:12.760 --> 1:31:15.320 these different planets and granted their budget constraints in place. 1:31:15.320 --> 1:31:19.559 But let's see we have amazonium planet, snow planet, and 1:31:19.600 --> 1:31:21.880 now caveman planet. Right makes sense? 1:31:22.120 --> 1:31:25.360 Yeah, totally. Yeah. So the cavemen have big stone axes 1:31:25.360 --> 1:31:28.559 other paleolithic tools they smash el to pieces like see 1:31:28.560 --> 1:31:30.880 three po in the Tuscan Raiders. So these are you know, 1:31:30.920 --> 1:31:35.160 I think they're Tuscan Raiders or yeah, And they carry 1:31:35.200 --> 1:31:37.760 Stella back to their cave. I think the planet is 1:31:37.760 --> 1:31:41.480 they're going to eat her. That this camp suggests cannibalism. 1:31:41.640 --> 1:31:43.680 Yeah, they have her hanging from the ceiling in a 1:31:43.720 --> 1:31:45.679 way that suggests she's meat now. 1:31:45.800 --> 1:31:48.760 Yeah, okay, so they're going to eat her later and 1:31:48.479 --> 1:31:51.120 then they just I guess it's time now, so they're 1:31:51.120 --> 1:31:53.200 going to come cut her throat and drain her blood. 1:31:53.600 --> 1:31:56.000 But Stella is rescued at the last second by the 1:31:56.040 --> 1:31:59.360 stranger in the Zarda's mask. So the mask shoots lasers 1:31:59.400 --> 1:32:03.639 out of its eyes and drives the trogolodites away. When 1:32:03.640 --> 1:32:06.320 Stella and the stranger get to safety, the stranger takes 1:32:06.360 --> 1:32:10.080 off the mask and reveals it's David Hasselhoff. There he is, 1:32:10.720 --> 1:32:13.120 and when I wanted to note when he takes this 1:32:13.280 --> 1:32:16.000 helmet off. He does not have helmet hair. His hair 1:32:16.080 --> 1:32:21.360 is voluminous. It is not matted down at all. Continuity error. 1:32:21.439 --> 1:32:22.720 I mean it's a big helmet. I think there's a 1:32:22.760 --> 1:32:24.760 lot of room in there that allows the hair to 1:32:24.800 --> 1:32:25.720 be free. 1:32:26.280 --> 1:32:29.160 So we learn that this is Simon, the only survivor 1:32:29.200 --> 1:32:31.720 of the wreck of the Imperial mission ship, the one 1:32:31.760 --> 1:32:35.840 sent to search for Zarthorne's weapon planet. They share information 1:32:35.880 --> 1:32:37.880 about what they've been through and then they try to 1:32:38.000 --> 1:32:41.240 leave the cave, but they get jumped by cavemen. They 1:32:41.240 --> 1:32:43.760 put up a good fight, but they're outnumbered, and then 1:32:43.960 --> 1:32:46.000 rescue comes in the form of who is he going 1:32:46.040 --> 1:32:48.120 to be? Who's going to rescue them? Who keeps rescuing it? 1:32:48.280 --> 1:32:52.280 But everybody every time it's Acton. But this time he 1:32:52.400 --> 1:32:55.160 is armed with a new weapon. It is some kind 1:32:55.200 --> 1:32:59.280 of energy based sword, like a sword where the blade 1:32:59.400 --> 1:33:02.840 is made out of a laser. Could you imagine it? Oh? Yes, 1:33:03.120 --> 1:33:06.800 they did it, folks. So the cavemen surround Stella like 1:33:06.840 --> 1:33:08.960 they're they're really like, they get her down on the 1:33:08.960 --> 1:33:10.920 ground like they're going to do a Kernel Rhodes from 1:33:11.000 --> 1:33:13.840 Day of the Dead. You get all the guts out. Yeah, 1:33:13.880 --> 1:33:17.160 But it doesn't happen because Acton comes in swinging the 1:33:17.240 --> 1:33:18.920 lightsaber and he drives them away. 1:33:19.560 --> 1:33:22.920 It is It is an interesting experience having watched so 1:33:23.000 --> 1:33:28.479 many grimy Italian and Spanish films from this era that 1:33:28.560 --> 1:33:31.599 you keep expecting things to take grimier turns than they do. 1:33:31.960 --> 1:33:33.320 But at the end of the day, like, this is 1:33:33.320 --> 1:33:35.960 a very PG film, This is for the child. 1:33:36.560 --> 1:33:38.679 Yeah, this is less nasty than some of the other 1:33:38.760 --> 1:33:41.360 movies that have this kind of flavor, but take it 1:33:41.400 --> 1:33:42.759 in a more X rated direction. 1:33:42.920 --> 1:33:45.080 Yeah yeah, yeah, so she's not ripped in half, but 1:33:45.200 --> 1:33:48.360 man does Acton ever rip into some cavemen with this 1:33:48.479 --> 1:33:51.640 lightsaber like they doesn't get graphic, but man is just 1:33:51.960 --> 1:33:54.080 he has just slicing bellies left and right here with 1:33:54.120 --> 1:33:55.040 this thing. Yeah. 1:33:55.680 --> 1:33:59.120 So Acton explains that he has reached a conclusion. He 1:33:59.160 --> 1:34:02.200 says they can stop looking for Zarthorn's weapon planet because 1:34:02.240 --> 1:34:05.320 it's this one. This is the one. Okay, we're done. 1:34:05.680 --> 1:34:08.240 He explains why. He says, you know, the Amazon Queen 1:34:08.320 --> 1:34:10.400 told you in a scene that I wasn't present for 1:34:10.880 --> 1:34:14.240 that there are two guardians of the weapon Planet. Well, 1:34:14.280 --> 1:34:16.559 here you've got the red monsters we went through and 1:34:16.600 --> 1:34:17.400 the Troglodides. 1:34:17.479 --> 1:34:20.000 I mean that settles it, really, So that's also the 1:34:20.040 --> 1:34:23.599 two big guardians of this super space weapon are red 1:34:23.640 --> 1:34:24.919 blobs and cavemen. 1:34:25.200 --> 1:34:28.920 That's right. Yes, So they walk through the cave to 1:34:29.000 --> 1:34:31.840 a door that leads to the secret weapon. It is 1:34:31.880 --> 1:34:36.120 that simple. And you know while they're going there, Acton 1:34:36.160 --> 1:34:39.080 explains it is from this facility that Zarthorn will control 1:34:39.120 --> 1:34:42.600 the entire universe. So they go into another room with 1:34:42.640 --> 1:34:46.200 all these little bubble dome stations lining the walls, and 1:34:46.320 --> 1:34:49.680 Acton says, here's the nerve center of the entire operation. 1:34:50.240 --> 1:34:55.240 Stella says, this is unbelievable, fantastic pre programmed computers. They 1:34:55.240 --> 1:34:56.200 could run forever. 1:34:57.000 --> 1:34:59.360 That's great, and I mean I've said it once, I've 1:34:59.360 --> 1:35:02.200 said it a thousand times. The worst thing about getting 1:35:02.200 --> 1:35:04.600 a new computer is having to program it from just 1:35:04.840 --> 1:35:07.439 starting from ground zero on it. Wish we could get 1:35:07.439 --> 1:35:08.880 a pre program one for once. 1:35:09.840 --> 1:35:13.880 So they learned that this room generates the red monsters, 1:35:13.920 --> 1:35:17.040 but that the red monsters are not real. They are 1:35:17.040 --> 1:35:20.560 only mental projections in our brains. So they're going to 1:35:20.600 --> 1:35:24.040 head for the control panel. This is a scene that 1:35:24.160 --> 1:35:27.200 really highlights you start noticing all of the characters have 1:35:27.320 --> 1:35:29.840 these rigid thongs giving them wedgies. Yeah. 1:35:29.920 --> 1:35:33.320 Yeah, especially when things get action oriented, You're like, oh wow, 1:35:33.400 --> 1:35:34.519 that is a lot of thongs. 1:35:35.640 --> 1:35:39.400 And then there's an exchange I didn't understand. Acton says 1:35:39.640 --> 1:35:43.519 destiny must take its course, but then Stella says, no, 1:35:43.760 --> 1:35:46.639 we can't allow this to happen, and then Simon says 1:35:46.680 --> 1:35:49.160 we must destroy it. At once, I was like, what 1:35:49.200 --> 1:35:51.640 are they arguing about? Is Acton saying they should let 1:35:51.720 --> 1:35:54.479 Zarthorn keep the weapon and not do anything about it? 1:35:54.760 --> 1:35:56.960 Nay? I guess he sees something in the future that 1:35:57.080 --> 1:36:01.320 is impacting his decision making here, but is not bothering 1:36:01.400 --> 1:36:03.559 to tell us the viewer about what's up. 1:36:04.439 --> 1:36:07.760 Anyway, Zarthorn ambushes them. He comes in with a bunch 1:36:07.800 --> 1:36:12.120 of his henchmen, do dopey looking henchman again, Robot oil 1:36:12.240 --> 1:36:13.640 Soun's kind of henchman. 1:36:13.400 --> 1:36:15.800 But the cape looks amazing, Cape looks. 1:36:15.560 --> 1:36:20.240 Great, and his two stop motion robot duckman with the machetes, 1:36:20.920 --> 1:36:24.200 and Zarthorn tells them that, you know, he keeps trying 1:36:24.240 --> 1:36:26.479 to kill them, but they survive every trap he lays 1:36:26.479 --> 1:36:29.160 for them. But now he's got him because in less 1:36:29.200 --> 1:36:31.760 than an hour quote, all that will be left of 1:36:31.800 --> 1:36:35.519 this planet will be ashes and cosmic dust forever. Then 1:36:35.880 --> 1:36:40.280 you will be among the dead. Also the Emperor Christopher Plummer, 1:36:40.479 --> 1:36:42.799 he's going to be killed in the explosion too, because 1:36:42.960 --> 1:36:46.160 Count Zarthorn has lured him here on the promise that 1:36:46.280 --> 1:36:49.120 his son David Hasselhoff would be handed over to him. 1:36:49.120 --> 1:36:52.320 So the Emperor will be here any minute, and Zarthurne 1:36:52.360 --> 1:36:54.759 says he will be here just in time to join 1:36:54.840 --> 1:36:59.599 in the fireworks. And then so Zarthorn leaves, but leaves 1:36:59.600 --> 1:37:02.920 the two golums to keep the heroes in the room 1:37:02.960 --> 1:37:05.479 at any cost. He says, kill them if you have to, 1:37:06.240 --> 1:37:10.080 And this turns into a lightsaber versus duck machete robot 1:37:10.200 --> 1:37:14.519 duck machete battle, and Acton fights the two droids. I 1:37:14.560 --> 1:37:17.080 think he kills one of them, but then Acton is 1:37:17.120 --> 1:37:19.880 wounded and then Simon has to pick up the lightsaber 1:37:19.920 --> 1:37:23.160 and take over the fight. Any description of this fight here? 1:37:23.200 --> 1:37:25.160 I thought, this one's pretty fun. I think this is 1:37:25.200 --> 1:37:27.040 the best action scene in the film. 1:37:27.200 --> 1:37:29.760 Yeah, I mean, obviously we can compare this to you know, 1:37:29.760 --> 1:37:34.479 Harry Holsan's you know, the scenes with the Skeleton men 1:37:35.680 --> 1:37:37.200 let's see which one was that from that. 1:37:37.280 --> 1:37:38.839 Was Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger. 1:37:38.960 --> 1:37:42.160 Yeah, from the Tiger. So we definitely can compare it 1:37:42.200 --> 1:37:44.559 to that. Not as good as that, but but not 1:37:44.720 --> 1:37:47.479 bad either. Like this is this in this scene, the 1:37:47.520 --> 1:37:50.640 stop motion in the live action is pretty well integrated 1:37:50.720 --> 1:37:52.479 enough that you know it's telling a story. You can 1:37:52.479 --> 1:37:53.200 get into the action. 1:37:53.600 --> 1:37:57.799 Yeah, so you know that. So Simon defeats the other robot. 1:37:57.880 --> 1:38:01.960 But then Acton is dying. Oh no, and they go 1:38:02.040 --> 1:38:04.360 talk to him and Acton says, don't worry you and 1:38:04.400 --> 1:38:06.960 the Prince will live and Stella is like, no, Acton, 1:38:07.080 --> 1:38:09.439 you can't die, get up, and then he has a 1:38:09.479 --> 1:38:11.360 great line what I think he wrote this. 1:38:11.600 --> 1:38:14.080 I had to note both of these because this is 1:38:14.160 --> 1:38:17.479 just this is absurd. This is it's so absurd as beautiful. 1:38:17.520 --> 1:38:21.519 Acton says, I'm no longer useful at this time. What 1:38:22.439 --> 1:38:24.400 who would say it like that? 1:38:24.560 --> 1:38:25.120 Nobody? 1:38:25.280 --> 1:38:28.840 But then Stella comes in with I can't leave you. 1:38:28.840 --> 1:38:32.400 You're the only human like friend I've ever had. I 1:38:32.439 --> 1:38:36.840 don't understand you never die, you never die. Yeah, but 1:38:36.920 --> 1:38:39.679 I mean, you're the only human like friend I've ever had. 1:38:39.840 --> 1:38:44.160 What But he's so they're saying he's not human. I 1:38:44.160 --> 1:38:45.719 think they're saying, oh, he's an alien. 1:38:46.360 --> 1:38:49.599 Yeah, but she's had never had she has no other friend. 1:38:49.680 --> 1:38:51.600 I don't know. It just seems very unbelievable. 1:38:51.800 --> 1:38:55.200 So acton he fades into a screen from an oscillator, 1:38:55.880 --> 1:38:59.880 like yeah, and then the Emperor arrives again, wearing this 1:39:00.040 --> 1:39:03.360 hilarious outfit with the metal of the full body chastity 1:39:03.400 --> 1:39:07.040 belt as you called it, and they don't leave the room. 1:39:07.120 --> 1:39:10.680 They're still in the same weapon control room. But the 1:39:10.720 --> 1:39:12.760 Emperor comes in with all of his troops and now 1:39:12.800 --> 1:39:15.240 they've got a problem. They're like, oh, father, you're here. 1:39:15.560 --> 1:39:18.720 The planet will explode in forty eight seconds. And then 1:39:18.760 --> 1:39:21.280 the Emperor says, you know, my son, I wouldn't be 1:39:21.400 --> 1:39:24.120 Emperor of the galaxy if I didn't have some powers 1:39:24.120 --> 1:39:30.160 at my disposal Imperial battleship halt the flow of time. Yes. 1:39:32.360 --> 1:39:36.360 Yeah, this film is big on suddenly revealing just absurd 1:39:36.479 --> 1:39:40.280 cosmic powers for characters and then but then not doing 1:39:40.320 --> 1:39:43.760 anything else with those powers, Like everybody's superability is a 1:39:43.960 --> 1:39:45.040 complete one shot. 1:39:45.360 --> 1:39:48.680 Yeah, Oh, you didn't know I had the Green Lantern ring. Yeah, 1:39:48.720 --> 1:39:52.400 I never mentioned that, So that like a green rays 1:39:52.479 --> 1:39:57.200 apps the planet. Everything turns green, and then the Emperor explains, quote, 1:39:57.200 --> 1:40:00.320 for the space of three minutes, every molecule on this 1:40:00.400 --> 1:40:03.840 planet will be immobilized. But after the third minute, the 1:40:03.920 --> 1:40:07.360 green ray loses its power, time will flow once more 1:40:07.520 --> 1:40:13.160 and everything will explode. And Simon says, okay, three minutes 1:40:13.240 --> 1:40:17.000 is enough. They leave and then everything explodes. So now 1:40:17.040 --> 1:40:20.200 we are barreling toward the conclusion. The Emperor comes up 1:40:20.200 --> 1:40:22.120 with the plan. All of his legions are going to 1:40:22.160 --> 1:40:25.720 launch a surprise attack on Count Zarthorn's headquarters before he 1:40:25.760 --> 1:40:28.599 can prepare for them. This will save billions of lives. 1:40:28.960 --> 1:40:30.880 But at this point I was thinking, I've seen this 1:40:30.960 --> 1:40:33.960 movie multiple times. What are they saving the lives? Like, 1:40:34.040 --> 1:40:36.080 what are the stakes here? What's going to happen if 1:40:36.160 --> 1:40:37.120 Zartharn wins? 1:40:37.720 --> 1:40:39.600 Yeah? And then the way that he is going to 1:40:39.640 --> 1:40:42.640 save billions of lives he quickly reveals is they are 1:40:42.720 --> 1:40:47.320 going to crash an enormous floating space city a city, yeah, 1:40:47.400 --> 1:40:53.880 into Zartharn's headquarters or whatever. It seems awfully destructive. I'm 1:40:53.920 --> 1:40:58.519 assuming they're going to evacuate everyone first from the space city, 1:40:58.560 --> 1:41:00.400 but they don't really flesh that out. 1:41:00.720 --> 1:41:03.000 No, you would hope they evacuate, but they don't talk 1:41:03.000 --> 1:41:06.200 about that. That's the backup plan. The first thing is, well, 1:41:06.240 --> 1:41:08.439 first of all, we check in with Count Zartharn who's 1:41:08.479 --> 1:41:11.000 giving a speech to his troops, and he says, by sunset, 1:41:11.080 --> 1:41:13.639 I'll be the new emperor and I will be master 1:41:13.760 --> 1:41:18.920 of the whole universe. Yeah, it's sunset and they're not 1:41:19.000 --> 1:41:23.280 on a planet, Master of the whole universe. But so 1:41:23.400 --> 1:41:25.560 this leads into the space battle. So the Emperor is 1:41:25.560 --> 1:41:28.280 going to attack zarthorne ship before they get to the 1:41:28.680 --> 1:41:33.320 city crash. Again, this battle has almost no dramatic interest 1:41:33.720 --> 1:41:35.599 early on, at least, it's just you know, the gold 1:41:35.680 --> 1:41:39.559 space ship zipping around shooting lasers at the clawhand ship. 1:41:40.320 --> 1:41:43.080 Now the battle, I think it's very funny once it 1:41:43.120 --> 1:41:46.480 goes to the boarding parties, when they shoot these torpedoes 1:41:46.520 --> 1:41:50.360 full of soldiers through the windows. We learned that Zarthorne's 1:41:50.360 --> 1:41:53.040 ship has windows, not like a space ship windows, it 1:41:53.080 --> 1:41:54.360 has windows like a house. 1:41:54.600 --> 1:41:57.439 Yeah, and then you shoot these torpedoes through which then 1:41:57.479 --> 1:41:59.880 open up like caskets and the troops climb out, which 1:42:00.600 --> 1:42:03.640 you know, I don't know, you could certainly, you know, 1:42:03.800 --> 1:42:06.840 argue about how sensible. This is, but it looks really cool. 1:42:06.920 --> 1:42:09.200 I like this. I was like I was I. I 1:42:09.240 --> 1:42:11.560 dug it every time it happened and kept hoping it 1:42:11.560 --> 1:42:13.719 would happen again, and luckily it kept happening. 1:42:13.840 --> 1:42:17.519 But it's so funny. Zarthorn is walking around while his 1:42:17.640 --> 1:42:21.120 troops are shooting at the Emperor's troops, and Zarthorn just 1:42:21.200 --> 1:42:24.839 keeps saying kill, kill over there, kill. 1:42:25.280 --> 1:42:28.080 I mean, he's really micromanaging here. You know, you don't 1:42:28.120 --> 1:42:31.080 have to tell us about which enemy troop we need 1:42:31.120 --> 1:42:32.639 to kill. We need to kill that one and that one. 1:42:32.720 --> 1:42:34.160 Just trust us to do our killing, sir. 1:42:34.479 --> 1:42:38.760 Yeah, kill over there. Yeah. So ultimately the attack fails 1:42:38.640 --> 1:42:42.200 as Zarthorn retains control of his ship, and Zarthurn says, 1:42:42.240 --> 1:42:44.120 you know, we got to use the doom Machine. We're 1:42:44.120 --> 1:42:46.720 going to send it toward the Emperor's capital world and 1:42:46.800 --> 1:42:50.479 destroy the imperial planet. And then at this point he 1:42:50.680 --> 1:42:53.400 just shouts his own name. He screams Zarthorn. 1:42:53.800 --> 1:42:55.400 I was thinking during all this it would be a 1:42:55.400 --> 1:42:58.120 pretty great name for a band, Zarthorn and the Doom Machine. 1:42:58.320 --> 1:43:01.679 Oh yeah, that would be great. If not Alorg he's taken, 1:43:03.680 --> 1:43:05.680 we should should we cut this part out, so we 1:43:06.240 --> 1:43:07.400 reserve that for ourselves. 1:43:07.479 --> 1:43:09.200 I mean, if someone were to really do it up, 1:43:09.280 --> 1:43:12.400 if someone could dress up as Zarthorn and then the 1:43:12.439 --> 1:43:15.280 band members could be dressed like the the Goons and 1:43:15.680 --> 1:43:18.000 the and the Gollumns here, that would be pretty cool. 1:43:18.040 --> 1:43:20.479 It's a beautiful thing. So it looks like, you know, 1:43:20.560 --> 1:43:23.719 are the heroes defeated? Stella Star thinks, so, as usual, 1:43:23.800 --> 1:43:26.519 she counsels despair. She says, there's no way to win. 1:43:26.760 --> 1:43:30.439 Zarthorne has defeated us. But the Emperor says, no, there 1:43:30.560 --> 1:43:32.880 is a way. There's one way left if we're forced 1:43:32.920 --> 1:43:37.400 to use it, we can use star Crash and Simon. 1:43:37.640 --> 1:43:40.200 Simon realizes what his father is saying. He says, a 1:43:40.320 --> 1:43:44.360 fourth dimensional attack. So that's what they're gonna do. This 1:43:44.400 --> 1:43:46.320 is what you were talking about earlier. The only way 1:43:46.320 --> 1:43:48.240 for them to win is for the greatest pilot in 1:43:48.280 --> 1:43:51.960 the universe, stell A Star, to pilot the floating city, 1:43:52.280 --> 1:43:57.160 which is something in a fourth dimensional attack against the Count, 1:43:58.200 --> 1:44:00.160 and so that you know, they get everything ready, they 1:44:00.160 --> 1:44:04.080 put her in the pilot seat and then Hasselhoff reveals, oh, 1:44:04.080 --> 1:44:06.759 by the way, your robot friend l that got smashed 1:44:06.800 --> 1:44:09.720 to pieces he's okay, and they bring him out and 1:44:09.760 --> 1:44:12.200 he's like, hey, there feels good to be turned on again. 1:44:12.640 --> 1:44:15.960 I have to say this movie has less foreshadowing than 1:44:16.080 --> 1:44:19.920 I think any film I've ever seriously thought about. You know, like, 1:44:20.200 --> 1:44:23.519 there are all these major twists, and there's nothing to 1:44:24.680 --> 1:44:27.240 tease them out earlier on, even just a little bit. 1:44:28.439 --> 1:44:31.240 So you can guess what happens from here. They're basically 1:44:31.280 --> 1:44:34.320 they're gonna ram Zarthorn with a floating city, and then 1:44:35.080 --> 1:44:38.679 Stella and the robot l they jump out a window 1:44:38.800 --> 1:44:43.200 into space before it hits and they do that and 1:44:43.280 --> 1:44:43.759 it works. 1:44:43.920 --> 1:44:46.200 Different space suit this time. This one's a little bit 1:44:46.200 --> 1:44:49.120 more traditional. I think I liked the toilet headed one 1:44:49.160 --> 1:44:51.759 from earlier more I thought that one was weirder looking. 1:44:51.960 --> 1:44:55.440 The clear toilet was better, I agree. And then Zarthorn 1:44:55.600 --> 1:44:58.040 is like, his troops are telling him they're gonna ram us. 1:44:58.080 --> 1:45:00.879 We have to escape, and he's like, come back, you fools, 1:45:00.920 --> 1:45:04.479 you cowards. And then the last thing Zarthorne says is 1:45:04.720 --> 1:45:05.439 zaar Thor. 1:45:07.920 --> 1:45:11.200 I was really hoping that he would get a Wrath 1:45:11.240 --> 1:45:14.120 of Khan moment where he's like, you know, busted up 1:45:14.160 --> 1:45:16.519 and you know, from the heart of Hell I stab 1:45:16.560 --> 1:45:18.639 at the but yeah, he didn't get that option. 1:45:19.280 --> 1:45:21.880 And then the last thing we get, oh so uh, 1:45:23.000 --> 1:45:28.280 we get the reunion of Stella and Stella Star and 1:45:28.520 --> 1:45:31.080 David Hasselhoff. Now they're in love and they stand there 1:45:31.120 --> 1:45:34.439 like looking at each other. And then the robot is like, oh, oh, 1:45:35.080 --> 1:45:37.280 I guess he's figuring out what's happening. 1:45:37.320 --> 1:45:40.120 And nobody remembers poor Acton completely Dick. 1:45:40.439 --> 1:45:43.360 He's nobody cares about him anymore. And then we cut 1:45:43.400 --> 1:45:45.559 away to the Emperor. The Emperor is gonna play us 1:45:45.560 --> 1:45:48.160 out here. So the Emperor has the last line of 1:45:48.200 --> 1:45:50.960 the film. He said, this is this is his monologue. 1:45:50.960 --> 1:45:54.200 I wrote it down. Well. By the way, he's sitting 1:45:54.280 --> 1:45:57.040 on a throne that looks like the super U logo 1:45:57.320 --> 1:45:58.760 like the car company. 1:45:58.479 --> 1:46:00.760 Does kind of. I mean, it's it's it's looks really cool, 1:46:00.800 --> 1:46:03.120 but that's looking superlego super logo. 1:46:03.200 --> 1:46:07.559 He says, well, it's done. It's happened. The stars are clear, 1:46:08.080 --> 1:46:13.160 the planets shine, weave won. Oh some dark force, no doubt, 1:46:13.200 --> 1:46:17.240 will show its face once more. The wheel will always turn. 1:46:17.680 --> 1:46:20.679 But for now it's calm, and for a little time 1:46:20.880 --> 1:46:22.719 at least we can rest. 1:46:24.720 --> 1:46:25.639 It's like a lullabus. 1:46:26.080 --> 1:46:31.280 Yeah, Star Crash we can rest? Does the tagline of 1:46:31.280 --> 1:46:33.640 the movie should be now for a little time, we 1:46:33.720 --> 1:46:34.280 can rest. 1:46:34.439 --> 1:46:36.720 Yeah, or they could have gone with it happened. It 1:46:36.840 --> 1:46:39.960 definitely happened, Star Crash. 1:46:40.040 --> 1:46:43.519 It's done. It happened. Well. That that I think is 1:46:43.680 --> 1:46:48.600 the greatest of the Star Wars knockoff films and a 1:46:48.680 --> 1:46:50.000 really beautiful experience. 1:46:50.120 --> 1:46:53.920 In my opinion, it is a beautiful experience. Yeah, if 1:46:53.960 --> 1:46:58.080 you were looking for a film with ludicrous dialogue but 1:46:58.360 --> 1:47:04.479 also some very interesting visuals, like you really you really 1:47:04.479 --> 1:47:08.080 have to see Star Crash, Star Crashes is absolutely must see. 1:47:08.560 --> 1:47:10.679 And like I say, if you if you dig watching 1:47:10.760 --> 1:47:13.439 rift content that m S T three K episode believe 1:47:13.479 --> 1:47:16.679 that was I think I said earlier Jonah episode very good. 1:47:16.800 --> 1:47:18.600 Check it out. But also, this is a film that 1:47:18.640 --> 1:47:20.040 absolutely stands on its own. 1:47:21.200 --> 1:47:21.960 Yeah it is. 1:47:22.280 --> 1:47:25.599 It is quite an experience, but it also might break 1:47:25.640 --> 1:47:28.000 something inside of you. Just so be aware, know your 1:47:28.000 --> 1:47:31.679 own limits, know your own strengths when when it comes 1:47:31.680 --> 1:47:32.400 to films like this. 1:47:32.920 --> 1:47:35.160 Absolutely Okay, I think that does it. 1:47:35.120 --> 1:47:38.160 For me, all right, Yeah yeah, and hey, maybe we'll 1:47:38.160 --> 1:47:43.440 have to come back to contamination in the future. Yeah, 1:47:43.560 --> 1:47:46.920 all right, so we love to hear from everyone out there. 1:47:47.000 --> 1:47:50.720 Do you have personal experience with Star Crash? You write in, 1:47:50.840 --> 1:47:52.599 let us know about it. Where'd you first see it? 1:47:52.720 --> 1:47:55.040 What do you what do you think about it? I'd 1:47:55.040 --> 1:47:57.080 love to hear from anyone who saw it, like in 1:47:57.120 --> 1:48:00.200 the wake of the original Star Wars. You know, what 1:48:00.240 --> 1:48:04.240 was that like to have this film injected into into 1:48:04.280 --> 1:48:09.280 the immediate cinematic environment. But you know, any any kind 1:48:09.280 --> 1:48:12.040 of connections you have with the film? Yeah, yeah, write 1:48:12.040 --> 1:48:15.040 in let's talk about it. Just a reminder that Stuff 1:48:15.080 --> 1:48:17.599 to Blow Your Mind is primarily a science and culture 1:48:17.640 --> 1:48:20.400 podcast with core episodes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. But in 1:48:20.439 --> 1:48:23.240 the Stuff to Blow your Mind podcast feed wherever you 1:48:23.280 --> 1:48:25.720 get it, wherever you get your audio podcasts, or if 1:48:25.760 --> 1:48:30.280 you watch the video version on Netflix on Fridays, that 1:48:30.360 --> 1:48:32.360 is when we do a little weird house cinema. That's 1:48:32.360 --> 1:48:34.479 our time to set aside most serious concerns and just 1:48:34.520 --> 1:48:35.840 talk about a weird film. 1:48:36.120 --> 1:48:39.679 Here's thanks, as always to our excellent audio producer JJ Posway. 1:48:40.000 --> 1:48:41.439 If you would like to get in touch with us 1:48:41.439 --> 1:48:43.759 with feedback on this episode or any other, to suggest 1:48:43.760 --> 1:48:45.759 a topic for the future, or just to say Hello. 1:48:45.920 --> 1:48:48.360 You can email us at contact at stuff to Blow 1:48:48.400 --> 1:48:56.040 Your Mind dot com. 1:48:56.200 --> 1:48:59.120 Stuff to Blow Your Mind is production of iHeartRadio. For 1:48:59.200 --> 1:49:03.160 more podcasts iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or 1:49:03.200 --> 1:49:04.920 wherever you listen to your favorite shows.