Speaker 1: Hello, Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Today, we
Speaker 1: have a lot of important topics to educate the audience
Speaker 1: that we have garnered with.
Speaker 2: Shit, it's about to get real.
Speaker 1: We're done with the giggly goofy topics. From now on,
Speaker 1: we will only be speaking on things that we find
Speaker 1: will help you progress in your life into your early
Speaker 1: adulthood that you are starting, like periods and sex, but
Speaker 1: in an educational.
Speaker 2: Sense because we're coming of age.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I genuinely do believe we are coming of age.
Speaker 1: I mean you are kind of ending of age where
Speaker 1: you're headed.
Speaker 2: I'm just starting, bitch, I know you.
Speaker 1: Okay, we have to like like cut the sixteen thing
Speaker 1: like a year old.
Speaker 2: I'll never.
Speaker 1: All right, do you have anything you would like to
Speaker 1: say first? Before I like talk so much that you
Speaker 1: don't get a word in.
Speaker 2: I was just thinking about our love Devin Lee Carlson's
Speaker 2: birthday and how we all keyed at that. It was fun,
Speaker 2: it was nice, it was a movie. And then I
Speaker 2: don't want to name names, but it was a very
Speaker 2: full circle moment for me and I went up to
Speaker 2: this person and he was on a shit ton of mushrooms,
Speaker 2: like in a very crazy way tripping balls out the ass,
Speaker 2: and I went up to him and he when he
Speaker 2: told me he was on mushrooms, my knee jerk reaction
Speaker 2: was just going nightmare, nightmare, nightmare, nightmare because of the
Speaker 2: Andre what's his fucking name, Eric, Eric, Andre fucking bit
Speaker 2: and I just yelled nightmare, nightmare, nightmare in his face
Speaker 2: a bunch and he just like looked at me and
Speaker 2: he was like, no, not that. Chill the fuck out, bro,
Speaker 2: and it just like moved on with the conversation. And
Speaker 2: I will literally never ever forget that.
Speaker 1: Moment, with that full circle, because you were in a
Speaker 1: position where you were like someone who maybe we shouldn't
Speaker 1: be hanging out with, yes, and you were like doing
Speaker 1: what you would do to us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. It was like a full circle moment because
Speaker 2: when I was like fourteen fifteen, I literally looked up
Speaker 2: to this person and I was like, oh, you're kind
Speaker 2: of sick, like I actually like you. Yeah, but now
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, I fucked up. But also they've always
Speaker 2: just kind of been a fucking dickhead to me, So
Speaker 2: I don't really care because I'm not a hot pretty
Speaker 2: girl and they only follow hot pretty girls and I'm
Speaker 2: like hot, I'm a hot pretty boy.
Speaker 1: Oh that's where you categorize yourself. Yeah, I would say
Speaker 1: you're somebody who wants you get to know him. You
Speaker 1: might find him attract.
Speaker 2: You might find him attractive after he makes you laugh
Speaker 2: a little bit. No, I literally have been looking in
Speaker 2: the mirror for the last two weeks and thinking I
Speaker 2: am the most hideous, ugly, diabolical, disgusting dude.
Speaker 1: It literally okay, it's hair. It's just your hair. Because
Speaker 1: that's why I used to change my hair so much,
Speaker 1: because like, my hair would get to the point, especially
Speaker 1: once you're like and also, my necklaces are really fucking tangled.
Speaker 1: It's pissing me off. But once you're in the like
Speaker 1: point of bleaching and down your hair a bunch of colors,
Speaker 1: you literally have the upkeep is so much and so
Speaker 1: beyond like anything normal that you just like start feeling
Speaker 1: like weird about the way you look because you're like,
Speaker 1: this isn't the way I want this to look right now,
Speaker 1: and then you're.
Speaker 2: You either have to shave it. I'm gonna fucking shave
Speaker 2: it all.
Speaker 1: Have you ever shaved your head?
Speaker 2: No, bit, Because my fucking giant ass Gordon Mellon fucking
Speaker 2: head is disgusting and big as fuck. I actually have
Speaker 2: had the same head size since I was three months old,
Speaker 2: because I had a giant fucking baby head, Like my
Speaker 2: my head was so big it was ninety percent of
Speaker 2: my body weight as a child. Like in the womb,
Speaker 2: I think all of the nutrients went to my fucking
Speaker 2: gord of a melon head. Like, it's fucked up.
Speaker 1: You were you. I will say the one baby picture
Speaker 1: of you that like Kai will insert it. I don't
Speaker 1: know if Kai has seen it, but like you aren't.
Speaker 3: I would be like, oh my god, I can't believe
Speaker 3: you gave birth.
Speaker 2: Wow, Congress. No, I looked like one of those babies.
Speaker 2: I looked like one of those babies with the skin
Speaker 2: condition Like I literally so me. I was scally.
Speaker 1: I was a scaly baby because my egg mo was
Speaker 1: so bad. I was one of those babies that my
Speaker 1: mom had to like get like intense intense moisturizer, some
Speaker 1: like lather me. You know what's fucked up. She put
Speaker 1: so much lotion on me once she went to go
Speaker 1: pick me up to feed me, and I fucking slipped
Speaker 1: and I hit the ceiling and fell on the floor, and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when I was there, I picked you up and
Speaker 2: dropped you down the stairs cause you're so much in lotion.
Speaker 1: Remember we spoken about how I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: would get away with pushing you down the stairs. Have
Speaker 1: I spoken about that?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: We me Andrew were playing around, like at the front
Speaker 1: of the house, and he was like, hor he was
Speaker 1: being annoying and like pushing me or like doing the
Speaker 1: thing where he gets in my way and then pushes
Speaker 1: me with his body, like not pushes me, but like
Speaker 1: we'll stand in my way sometimes and then like turn
Speaker 1: so that I knocked back and I'm like, get the
Speaker 1: fuck away from me, and I pushed him, and like
Speaker 1: I had this moment at the back of my head
Speaker 1: where we were so close to the stairs. I was like,
Speaker 1: I could push him down the stairs and fucking kill him.
Speaker 2: She let the interestive thoughts win. She really liked the
Speaker 2: thoughts when with that one.
Speaker 1: But then we were talking like I could have fully
Speaker 1: pushed him down the stairs, and if he died, like,
Speaker 1: I don't think a single person on this planet other
Speaker 1: than the fact that I've said it would have been like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, she did that on purpose. Everybody would
Speaker 1: have thought like, oh my god, they were genuinely playing
Speaker 1: around and she died.
Speaker 2: Just watch this, I'm gonna fall down the stairs purposely die.
Speaker 2: This clip is gonna go live. The world is gonna
Speaker 2: know the true evil behind.
Speaker 1: But you just admitted that you're going to push yourself.
Speaker 2: Down the telling the truth? Is it in your is
Speaker 2: it me? You have to decide it's me?
Speaker 4: But what.
Speaker 2: Told me this ship? Because Okay, I don't know if
Speaker 2: this is weird, and I will probably be labeled as
Speaker 2: a fucking monster freak bitch for even asking this question,
Speaker 2: But like, this isn't the weird part. I am so
Speaker 2: curious what breast milk tastes like, Like I want to
Speaker 2: know what it tastes like.
Speaker 1: Were you asking Madeline if you could have some?
Speaker 2: No? No, no, no, I was asking if it was
Speaker 2: weird if I asked my twin sisters.
Speaker 1: Honestly, in my opinion, no, if it's like in a cup,
Speaker 1: I don't find that that weird because in my head,
Speaker 1: I'm like, you're the weirdo if you sexualize that interaction.
Speaker 2: I drank my mom's booby milk.
Speaker 1: Well that was because you needed it.
Speaker 2: I was thirteen and I was like really hungry. Well,
Speaker 2: you needed it because you were in the teat was
Speaker 2: two years.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's that weird. I remember one time. Okay, Also,
Speaker 1: y'all are lying, because like I would fucking lie to
Speaker 1: my girl too, like saying this video where this girl
Speaker 1: was like, it smells like it tastes like cinnamon. They're
Speaker 1: all like, oh my god, it literally tastes.
Speaker 2: Like mountain and it's electric.
Speaker 1: I was like, you're fucking lying, bitch. Like, but I
Speaker 1: would like if I had some orions milk, like oh
Speaker 1: my god, He's like wow, But no, I don't think
Speaker 1: it's weird to try. I'll try some of her breast.
Speaker 2: No, that's what I was saying, because I wanted to
Speaker 2: do like the the milk try where you put it
Speaker 2: behind the thing and it's like breast milk, nut milk,
Speaker 2: pistachium milk, my.
Speaker 1: Sisters breast milk. Only knowing that one like like sipping
Speaker 1: on and be like, no, I don't know, and'd be like.
Speaker 2: Oh, these shoes are the worst shoes I've ever worn
Speaker 2: in my entire fucking break one they it broke. These
Speaker 2: are brand new fucking sneakers that I got. Tell me
Speaker 2: why I wore them once with brand new fucking uniclose socks,
Speaker 2: and my feet came out of these shoes stinking like
Speaker 2: fucking bullshit. Like it was that, like it was not
Speaker 2: me that. I don't know.
Speaker 1: If you if you look at the reviews, it might say,
Speaker 1: oh my god, the loop at the back break so easily.
Speaker 1: I hate these shoes.
Speaker 3: But I don't think you're gonna say, see, oh my god,
Speaker 3: my feet smell like shit, admit it.
Speaker 2: Anymore.
Speaker 1: My little brother, I said, Oh, what did I say?
Speaker 1: I said something. Oh, we were eating like cheese, like
Speaker 1: hondured cheese, and like if you know, you know, like
Speaker 1: those cheeses have a peculiar.
Speaker 2: Smell, you would know, you do know.
Speaker 1: But my mom puts some on my beans, and like
Speaker 1: sometimes I just like can't handle the scent. Also, like
Speaker 1: I do think my mom gave me rotten cheese because
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I'm used to the scent of
Speaker 1: this cheese, but this ship is like kicking my ass
Speaker 1: right now. Like I literally like I would scoop beans
Speaker 1: into my mouth and be like, oh, I still smell
Speaker 1: it in my mouth. But my little brother got some
Speaker 1: on his beans and was I was like I was like,
Speaker 1: can you handle the feet smell right now? Or is
Speaker 1: it too much for you? And then he was like,
Speaker 1: why the hell do you know what feet smell like?
Speaker 1: An all fucking weekend. All he kept saying to me
Speaker 1: is like, you're so weird. You know what feast smelled like? Bro?
Speaker 1: But he just kept saying it to me. And then
Speaker 1: I was like, you don't know what. I was like,
Speaker 1: your feet have stunk like shit before? Because you know
Speaker 1: what that smells like.
Speaker 2: You know what? Like it's crazy is that we've found
Speaker 2: a way to talk about every disgusting human body like
Speaker 2: thing ever. And that spurred like another story that I'm
Speaker 2: gonna tell because I told it literally two days ago
Speaker 2: to my dad. But okay, so in middle school I
Speaker 2: had begged him for the Miami Miami Beach or whatever,
Speaker 2: the Lebron James, the Miami Beach Lebron James sneakers. I
Speaker 2: got them, and I wore those bitches every fucking day.
Speaker 2: I love those shoes so so, so fucking much. They
Speaker 2: were my favorite sneakers ever. They were so loud.
Speaker 1: It's not these ones.
Speaker 2: No, no, yeah, yeah, it's still Lebron. But wore those
Speaker 2: every single day and like they never smelled bad ones
Speaker 2: until I took them to the water park. I mean
Speaker 2: not the water park. Uh six Flags over Texas and
Speaker 2: there's like a water ride there that splashes water all
Speaker 2: over you if you stand on the bridge. Stood on
Speaker 2: the bridge, and those wore them. I'm not kidding. The
Speaker 2: next day there was mold growing out of the side
Speaker 2: of my fucking sneakers from like because I wore them
Speaker 2: the rest of the day and it was devastating to
Speaker 2: me because those are my favorite shoes ever. And it
Speaker 2: was fucking dialogue. Yes, those are the ones. Those four
Speaker 2: those are fucking lit. Love them.
Speaker 1: Have you seen these before? It's like the era where
Speaker 1: Lebron was on He was on the Miami team, right,
Speaker 1: and so he was hella wrapping like Miami, and these
Speaker 1: are like Miami color.
Speaker 2: Dude.
Speaker 1: I wanted these ones really bad.
Speaker 2: South.
Speaker 1: Did anybody make fun of you? I wanted the Jordan
Speaker 1: eight South Beaches. Oh, I wanted these so bad. All
Speaker 1: the kids with like whose parents should just had.
Speaker 2: Like extra I've been like, I went back to Texas
Speaker 2: and played basketball for little bit, and I'm gonna start
Speaker 2: playing basketball with Mason here because he's been begging me
Speaker 2: for like months to do it, and I've just been
Speaker 2: like no because I'm embarrassed to do that. Be bad
Speaker 2: and be bad and be gross and scratch people with
Speaker 2: my long fucking fingernails with defense. Oh that was my
Speaker 2: biggest My biggest insecurity was my long fingernails in middle
Speaker 2: school because when I would like play on the basketball
Speaker 2: court on the blacktop or at reset recess, I would
Speaker 2: accidentally scratch kids. And I remember one kid was like,
Speaker 2: you need to cut your long, fucking disgusting fingernails. Like
Speaker 2: it stuck with me forever to the point where like
Speaker 2: I would bite my nails are disgustingly wrong long right now.
Speaker 2: But I've been trying not to bite them or clip them.
Speaker 2: But I literally like shaved it down too far on
Speaker 2: this one, and since then, this nail has never grown
Speaker 2: back the same. Like they're not twins or sisters. Now,
Speaker 2: what was I saying?
Speaker 1: You were talking about your stinky fucking shoes in middle school?
Speaker 1: Did you get made fun of for it?
Speaker 2: Uh? Yes, a lot. I got made fun of for
Speaker 2: that in my dan drift because I couldn't help it,
Speaker 2: and it was sad. It was fucked up.
Speaker 1: I have really bad dandriff right now, I don't know
Speaker 1: what's happening parents.
Speaker 3: Dude, when kids would take off their fucking shoes and
Speaker 3: class you are done, if your shit smelled bad like it,
Speaker 3: like that was literally a fear of mine, Like there
Speaker 3: would be times when I so badly wanted to take
Speaker 3: off my shoes or if I was wearing like ballet flats,
Speaker 3: but I knew I couldn't because all the girls who
Speaker 3: wore ballet flats.
Speaker 1: You're in Miami. You should not be going to elementary
Speaker 1: in middle school in ballet flats with no socks on,
Speaker 1: Like that stinks the humidity and heat, like we're standing
Speaker 1: on the black top, Bitch, your feet are cooking there.
Speaker 1: It's like a thin piece of plastic separating your feet
Speaker 1: and the ground right now. And dude, people would take
Speaker 1: their shoes off and be like, ew.
Speaker 2: Whose fucking face smell like shit?
Speaker 1: And everybody would look and literally like everyone's eyes would
Speaker 1: go down to the form, be like like looking under tables.
Speaker 1: And then the kids who got it got it and
Speaker 1: it was really sad in the hospital. So you can,
Speaker 1: like you can bring things.
Speaker 2: It's funny that I can what I can bring things,
Speaker 2: what like to lower moments.
Speaker 1: Like I mean I'm just saying, there's like a time
Speaker 1: and a place to like seek sympathy. But like it's
Speaker 1: weird to transition from me talking about stinky like did
Speaker 1: stinky feet remind you of your grandma?
Speaker 2: It's just, you know, like she's in the hospital and
Speaker 2: I don't know if she's truly gonna make it.
Speaker 1: And you're here though, yeah, And you're here.
Speaker 2: Because I have my people to serve. I do this
Speaker 2: for you guys.
Speaker 1: I think like everybody watching would have been like, oh,
Speaker 1: you probably should have stayed back, But I think, like.
Speaker 2: Y'all know nothing about me and how this is affecting me. No,
Speaker 2: she's totally she's like totally chilling. She fell and broke
Speaker 2: her hip and of course, like my mi, like she
Speaker 2: literally did like that is some old people shit. But
Speaker 2: she's been in the hospital and we went and visited
Speaker 2: her in the hospital. And while we were in there,
Speaker 2: tell me why, like within five minutes of me getting there,
Speaker 2: I think I'm possessed right now, and I'll get into
Speaker 2: that in a second, I think, But tell me why
Speaker 2: the power went out in everything in the entire hospital
Speaker 2: and it took like two minutes for it to get
Speaker 2: back on the backup generators, and it was so fucking scary,
Speaker 2: and my mamma was like, this is it, Like I'm done,
Speaker 2: this is it. And we were like, girl, you're not
Speaker 2: on live support. You're literally so fine. These are just
Speaker 2: like moderating your health.
Speaker 1: Like when you told me that, I was like, I'd
Speaker 1: be so fucking pissed if I had a family member
Speaker 1: like on life supporting.
Speaker 2: The fourteen people died in the hospital easily. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I thought you looked like for sure. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god.
Speaker 2: I was there. I saw the bodies. But yes, it
Speaker 2: was hilarious.
Speaker 1: How does that connect to you being possessed?
Speaker 2: Okay, so you know how we did light as feather,
Speaker 2: stiff as a board. We'll insert the clips here.
Speaker 5: Board Okay, jes why did.
Speaker 2: You do that? And so basically how you're supposed to
Speaker 2: do it is you're suposed to lift them up the
Speaker 2: fighter STIPs the board, but put them down and say goodbye.
Speaker 2: Josiah fucking dropped me and I broke my goddamn shoulder,
Speaker 2: and the demon that was helping us lift each other
Speaker 2: went inside of me and is now living inside of me.
Speaker 2: Because I have been having so many nightmares, like, I've
Speaker 2: been having the most nightmares of my life recently, especially
Speaker 2: in Texas, Texas. When I would like nap during the
Speaker 2: day because nothing else to do, I would have a
Speaker 2: full blown nightmare. And then the car ride on the
Speaker 2: way to I mean on the way home from Uh
Speaker 2: what am I saying? On the plane ride on the
Speaker 2: way home from Texas when I was asleep, I had
Speaker 2: the worst, most visceral, real nightmare of my parents dying
Speaker 2: in the car ride home from the airport since like
Speaker 2: an hour and a half from Dallas to Grandberry. And
Speaker 2: I woke up and was like literally crying because I
Speaker 2: was like, oh my God, my family's all dead and
Speaker 2: I couldn't call them because I did not want to
Speaker 2: buy Wi Fi. There's a big ordeal in my head.
Speaker 2: But yeah, literally possessed by demons and they're giving me nightmares.
Speaker 1: Wow, Well, I haven't been having nightmares.
Speaker 2: I'm actually been having good dreams.
Speaker 1: It's been very fun dreams. I'm not the only thing
Speaker 1: I can remember from dreams in the past few days
Speaker 1: is for some reason in my dream, I had to
Speaker 1: speak Japanese and then I couldn't and I just kept
Speaker 1: saying sorry in Japanese. And then i'd like moved on.
Speaker 1: But actually I feel like I had a dream but
Speaker 1: I don't remember it. That was like interesting, but so
Speaker 1: I guess it doesn't matter because I could not fall
Speaker 1: asleep on the plane ride back here, and I was
Speaker 1: so fucking pissed. I was literally the most angry I've
Speaker 1: been in my whole life, Like I will never take
Speaker 1: a late flight from Miami to La ever again, because
Speaker 1: I was just like out all day and like the
Speaker 1: sun was.
Speaker 2: Like beating my light like a light.
Speaker 1: I literally wish.
Speaker 2: That was me ill. I don't know if I should
Speaker 2: be telling this, so this might get cut from the episode,
Speaker 2: but I've been saving it from in yeah and everybody
Speaker 2: in my life because I had one of the most
Speaker 2: insane experiences on a flight of my entire life yesterday.
Speaker 2: It's it was on Tuesday. Today it's Wednesday when we're
Speaker 2: recording this. And so I get to the airplane, I
Speaker 2: get on my flight. I'm a little bit early because
Speaker 2: I have a little hack to get on the plane early,
Speaker 2: not telling you bitches that that's online. Sitting there, the
Speaker 2: entire plane around me fills up, and I'm like, damn,
Speaker 2: this is a packed ass flight, except for the middle
Speaker 2: seat on my plane, and I'm like, on your row
Speaker 2: on my row, yeah, And I'm like, oh, damn, like
Speaker 2: this is kind of lit, like I'm gonna get a
Speaker 2: middle seat, and like the gates are about to close,
Speaker 2: I'm about to get this middle seat. And I'm like, damn,
Speaker 2: I'm the only person with the middle seat next to them.
Speaker 2: This is fucking lit. And then I see this woman
Speaker 2: barreling down the aisle like covered in dirt, like hair
Speaker 2: in a fucking rat's nest, like like running to the
Speaker 2: seat like it was really it was jarring to see
Speaker 2: the way she was running, like it was scary, and
Speaker 2: it was I'm like, please, I'm fucking sit next to me,
Speaker 2: like please, And she sits next to me, and immediately
Speaker 2: I am greeted with the most foul odor I have
Speaker 2: ever smelt a human deal ever in my life. Like
Speaker 2: it was so bad that my eyes were watering, like
Speaker 2: it was. It was literally just like like she hasn't
Speaker 2: showered in like fourteen days, like it was. It was gnarly,
Speaker 2: and it was so bad that everybody around us like
Speaker 2: had started complaining about her fucking stinch to the flight attendants.
Speaker 2: But we were in the air and they were like,
Speaker 2: we can't fucking land the plane. So they because she smells, yeah,
Speaker 2: and so thankfully I had a COVID mask in my
Speaker 2: bag and I spray it with my perfume and I
Speaker 2: put it on my face. And I'm not even kidding.
Speaker 2: I even was like, I don't want to put a
Speaker 2: mask on because I don't want to make her feel bad.
Speaker 2: So I spread down my finger and rubbed it in
Speaker 2: my mustache. It was so fun.
Speaker 1: I've done that before. I've been next to someone who
Speaker 1: smelled so bad that I take on my little roller
Speaker 1: perfume and I like douse myself in it, like I
Speaker 1: literally like will go under my jaw and like on
Speaker 1: my nose and everything, because I'm like, you smell.
Speaker 2: Like that was you smell like the walking bed right?
Speaker 2: That was literally the vibe, like it was the most
Speaker 2: rank odor I have ever smelled in my entire fucking life.
Speaker 2: And the lady next to me next to us, she
Speaker 2: was in the middle seat. The lady next to us
Speaker 2: in the aisle was not fucking having it. She was
Speaker 2: not hiding, like she was like plugging her nose and
Speaker 2: like talking to the people next to her and be
Speaker 2: like this is fucking crazy, Like how is she on
Speaker 2: this flight? Cause like it was, it was insane, like
Speaker 2: the like her entire just way it gets fucking fait.
Speaker 1: But I've seen something similar ish one time when I
Speaker 1: was leaving Miami some there was a woman who I
Speaker 1: like felt so bad because I was like, she obviously
Speaker 1: was dell weed or some shit here. That was not
Speaker 1: what she was expecting. She was literally like freaking the
Speaker 1: fuck out.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: She she was like in the midst of psychosis trying
Speaker 1: to get on her flight, and I was like, dude,
Speaker 1: this is the bravest human I've ever seen navigate the
Speaker 1: airport because like you can tell she was not there.
Speaker 1: That's like the fucking clothes were all like tattered up,
Speaker 1: and like she was literally like had a fucking plastic
Speaker 1: bag of stuff and you could tell like something happened
Speaker 1: to her, and she was like, I just need to
Speaker 1: get the shock.
Speaker 2: She had a plastic bag with her. The flight continues.
Speaker 2: I'm like, whatever, I'm gonna put my COVID masks with
Speaker 2: perfume on and go to sleep. I go to sleep,
Speaker 2: and I wake up and we're like thirty minutes from boarding,
Speaker 2: and I started getting in my head and I'm like, damn,
Speaker 2: like I feel really fucking bad for this person right now.
Speaker 2: Like she was just like like like i've I've I'm
Speaker 2: sure like she's just like super fucking depressed and just
Speaker 2: hasn't showered in a couple of days and like whatever,
Speaker 2: like I feel bad, so I like try to right
Speaker 2: my wrongs with the universe. And I'm just like I see, Oh,
Speaker 2: this is the craziest fucking thing about it. She had
Speaker 2: an iPhone for with a home button, and she had
Speaker 2: her charger on that like the lawn charger.
Speaker 1: That would that being the craziest part, not her being
Speaker 1: borderline like gas paradiphone.
Speaker 2: I could not believe it exactly what it felt like.
Speaker 1: Powered iPhone literally felt like red canister, like opened the bottom.
Speaker 2: Like yep. It was fucking crazy. And I'm like, okay,
Speaker 2: like I feel bad and I can. She's like on Instagram,
Speaker 2: I don't know how this things fucking booted Instagram. It's
Speaker 2: a relic, It's a fossil at this point. But I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: like you should film, like Instagram is like. But I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: like I could tell she like was trying to look
Speaker 2: out the windows and ship because she was like being
Speaker 2: shifty about it, and I was like, I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: let me lean forward. I was like here, like I'll
Speaker 2: lean forward. You can look at this one. She goes
Speaker 2: behind me and rests her entire body on me, and
Speaker 2: for like the last bit of this fight, I was like,
Speaker 2: what if it's not her that stings, No, bitch, it
Speaker 2: was her that fucking dank like shit. It was so
Speaker 2: bad that it stained my shirt like with odor. It
Speaker 2: was so rank. So I was like, okay, Like damn,
Speaker 2: like she's been dealt like a really rough card like whatever.
Speaker 2: Like I hope she makes it. I hope she everything's
Speaker 2: gonna be.
Speaker 1: Hope she makes it to where she's going and it's
Speaker 1: not as bad.
Speaker 2: It's like it seeks exactly. Yeah. And so I look
Speaker 2: at the video she got. It's the worst fucking video
Speaker 2: I've ever seen in my entire life. So I'm like, oh, here,
Speaker 2: get I've been on this root a bunch. So I'm like,
Speaker 2: film right now, you can get like downtown Los Angeles
Speaker 2: and it's really pretty. So she like starts filming and
Speaker 2: resting on me whatever, and I'm like, damn, I like
Speaker 2: right in my wrongs with the universe I'm not gonna
Speaker 2: get bad karma. All this judgment was for nothing. So
Speaker 2: we land at the gate and I'm like, we're at
Speaker 2: the gate, right, and I'm like, why are we not deplanning?
Speaker 2: Like why is this taking so long? And my head
Speaker 2: starts spiraling again and I'm like this bitch, I know
Speaker 2: it's her, Like something's up with this girl? Like something's up.
Speaker 2: And then they announce on the intercom. They're like the
Speaker 2: emergency intercom. Hello, they announced on the intercom. They're like, okay,
Speaker 2: so like, no one stand up yet, we have a
Speaker 2: security risk on board. And I'm like, I fucking knew it.
Speaker 2: I knew it. It was her. It's been her the
Speaker 2: entire time, Like I knew it. I fucking knew it.
Speaker 2: And nothing happens. They they get on the plane, they
Speaker 2: walk around for like five or ten minutes, nothing fucking happens.
Speaker 2: And then I'm like damn. I'm like I fell back
Speaker 2: into that judgmental shit, Like the universe is gonna bite
Speaker 2: my ass, like what the fuck? I cannot believe I've
Speaker 2: done this again. And I'm like, damn, I judged her
Speaker 2: again and it really wasn't her. It was probably like
Speaker 2: a falsey break pad or some shit. We're deplanning together.
Speaker 2: Tell me why Homeland security, the cops, all the security
Speaker 2: guards in the fucking world are there, grab her and
Speaker 2: start yelling at her and are like who are you
Speaker 2: here to me?
Speaker 4: What are you doing?
Speaker 2: Why are you here? Blah blah blah blah blah, like
Speaker 2: yelling at her, and like, granted, I was with her,
Speaker 2: and I basically ate it, and the bedded this criminal
Speaker 2: because she was transporting fucking drugs. Because the only reason
Speaker 2: and I know which is like fucking crazy that you
Speaker 2: would transport drugs on a plane in twenty twenty two,
Speaker 2: just ship it with FedEx like everybody else, because FedEx
Speaker 2: is the biggest drug dealer in the world. Look it up,
Speaker 2: like they don't give a fuck about what you ship there.
Speaker 2: They only cover.
Speaker 1: Shaking his head, like yeah, look at all the earth.
Speaker 2: That's that is a good omen. I used to think
Speaker 2: it was a bad omen, but that's a good omen.
Speaker 2: It's an omen of wealth.
Speaker 1: So hello, they are sitting on the wealthy trees.
Speaker 2: And I'll lie right now, look at him. They look
Speaker 2: at that guy like swinging around over there. He's on
Speaker 2: the very tip top. I know, I'm wann to those birds.
Speaker 1: Like what you're gonna like? What those birds?
Speaker 4: What? No?
Speaker 1: I think I misheard you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't say ship. Well, last night on Thanksgiving
Speaker 2: is over? Like, tell me why Thanksgiving is over? Like
Speaker 2: it happened last week? Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: I want to hit you so bad. Well, on my fight,
Speaker 1: I always picked the aisle seat. I used to be
Speaker 1: a window seat girl. But then I realized, since I
Speaker 1: have the bladder of like nobody on this planet and
Speaker 1: I have to pee every five seconds, I just get
Speaker 1: ile now, which can suck sometimes because I fall asleep
Speaker 1: on my flights. So when I sit next to some
Speaker 1: bastard bitch who's like under the age of twenty and
Speaker 1: has no like no sympathy for me and decides to
Speaker 1: like not give themselves a UTI, and it's always like,
Speaker 1: oh can I pass? Can I pass? I'm like, I
Speaker 1: hope you die, Like, oh, but I got my aisle seat.
Speaker 1: But then when I got to my seat, this woman
Speaker 1: in her grandma.
Speaker 2: Wow, seriously, fuck you for that. Wow. I just realized
Speaker 2: and registered that, Like Wow.
Speaker 1: When I got to my seat, there was like this
Speaker 1: grandma and her like her granddaughter, and the granddaughter was
Speaker 1: like easily, like forty something, and like the grandma was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. It was the cocoa, Grandma, I'm not
Speaker 1: kidding the cocoa. Like she like looked like the cocoa. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she looked like the cocoa, grandma, like straight up. But
Speaker 1: then they had asked me. They were like, oh, like
Speaker 1: is it okay?
Speaker 2: If?
Speaker 1: Like the woman was speaking to me, and because I'm
Speaker 1: like af when I speak like special and English, I
Speaker 1: was able to communicate like perfectly.
Speaker 2: She's like, oh, like do you know what means.
Speaker 1: Affluent means money? Like as I said it, I like understood,
Speaker 1: like it was like not like but because I'm buying.
Speaker 2: Bilingual slice, hell, that don't bring that back.
Speaker 1: I kept finally died down, but she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: do you mind sitting by the window just in case
Speaker 1: you like fall asleep or anything, because like my grandma
Speaker 1: probably is gonna have to use the bathroom a few
Speaker 1: times during the flight.
Speaker 2: And I've been your I don't mind.
Speaker 1: It felt nice because these like don't have any like
Speaker 1: like warmth, so your hands are.
Speaker 2: Like I'll give you a foot massage, like we can
Speaker 2: take these off.
Speaker 1: You need to stop.
Speaker 2: You don't have warmth I can warm.
Speaker 1: But she was like, okay, you sit there whatever. And
Speaker 1: at first I was pissed because I was like, well,
Speaker 1: how about this, I am gonna have to get up
Speaker 1: a bunch and I don't want my bladder to be
Speaker 1: dictated by y'all. But I was like whatever, you know what,
Speaker 1: like it's literally not a problem. I just took the seat,
Speaker 1: and I was just annoyed for us because oh, but
Speaker 1: then I was like, you know what, I never get
Speaker 1: the window seat anywhere, and maybe that will be better
Speaker 1: for falling asleep, like because I like but then I
Speaker 1: had one of the fucking windows that when you lean
Speaker 1: it back, it falls into another window. So like you know,
Speaker 1: like when you like lean your chair back window, there's
Speaker 1: another window. So like if I leaned back, I just
Speaker 1: fell into this hole and it was like back and
Speaker 1: then if we crashed, my head would have been fucking decapitated.
Speaker 1: So I couldn't fall up on that. I'm just like
Speaker 1: not tall enough for it to be comfortable. It's like
Speaker 1: literally I'm like sleeping like this. Oh, it's like not good. Also,
Speaker 1: the even more space on Jet Blue is a fucking
Speaker 1: scam because I'd rather be in the smaller seats and
Speaker 1: have less leg room and then be able to like
Speaker 1: curl up because I'm I'm actually the worst person to
Speaker 1: sit by on a plane because I will fall asleep
Speaker 1: like this, Like I'll like lean my legs up against
Speaker 1: and I'll like literally sleep like this on the flight,
Speaker 1: which is actually so annoying that I take the.
Speaker 2: Eye that in my boxers like I sleep.
Speaker 1: In my day. Yeah, I like take off my shoes
Speaker 1: and like put out the tray and like like lay
Speaker 1: them there, like my bare feet out. Yeah, and then
Speaker 1: whoever sitting next to me, I'm like, you won't mind,
Speaker 1: and I'll just like knock on them. I actually almost
Speaker 1: did that to the like the lady sitting next to me,
Speaker 1: because I was like she kept like kind of talking
Speaker 1: to me. I was like, I feel like she wouldn't
Speaker 1: mind if I fell asleep on her, Like she literally
Speaker 1: wouldn't care, because she kept looking at me and asking,
Speaker 1: she's not my cousin, broke.
Speaker 2: Wait, what is it? What did nephew or niece?
Speaker 1: I actually don't know my cousin. I don't have any
Speaker 1: nieces or nephews, so I don't know. Wait, do I
Speaker 1: have pieces and nephews? No? I literally don't have any
Speaker 1: nieces and nephews. Yeah, how about that. Madeline's baby will
Speaker 1: be my first.
Speaker 2: Niece, andya is gonna be mean aunt and I'm gonna
Speaker 2: be the.
Speaker 1: Tweet What is it mean? Aunt? Twink uncle?
Speaker 2: Yeah, twink uncle.
Speaker 1: It's based on that one TikTok.
Speaker 2: So thank you, but so don't look at my fucking hair.
Speaker 1: Anyway. It just ended up being the best flight ever
Speaker 1: because I couldn't fall asleep, which actually was pissing me
Speaker 1: the fuck off at first, but then also I wish
Speaker 1: I heard what the flight the person on the fly set.
Speaker 1: I think they said that we were going to go
Speaker 1: to low altitude to avoid the storms. But in my
Speaker 1: half sleep, because I fall asleep during take off, I
Speaker 1: stuffed for like an hour. But in my half sleep
Speaker 1: I heard him say there's a fireworks show, so we're
Speaker 1: gonna have to go to low altitude or something. And
Speaker 1: then I was like, that's I must heard that, because
Speaker 1: like that makes the opposite of sense. But then I
Speaker 1: woke up and I look out my window and there's
Speaker 1: the most I looked it up and we were right
Speaker 1: next to Missouri and there was an insane amount of
Speaker 1: lightning storms. Happening, and we were over the goal, so
Speaker 1: we were literally I was just watching like the most
Speaker 1: insane thing I've ever seen with my fucking eyes, and
Speaker 1: I was trying to record it, but it wasn't working
Speaker 1: because Jeff blues fucking blue lights and like it was
Speaker 1: like whatever. But I just sat there, literally and like
Speaker 1: killed an hour staring out the window. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I probably look so dumb to the lady next to me,
Speaker 1: because she's like, what is she looking at? It's pitch
Speaker 1: black out there. But when nobody knew, I literally almost
Speaker 1: like tapped her and told her to look because I
Speaker 1: was like, this is like I have to share this
Speaker 1: with someone, but I didn't want to interrupt her because
Speaker 1: she this was so fucking cute. I tried to get
Speaker 1: a video of it, but the granddaughter, who was like
Speaker 1: forty something, started watching the crewds and was had subtitles
Speaker 1: on and they were sharing headphones and the grandma was
Speaker 1: watching the crews with her on the fucking TV, and
Speaker 1: like so she was just turned over like looking at
Speaker 1: her granddaughter's TV. And I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's so fucking cute. But yeah, and then at one
Speaker 1: point I put my feet up, and then the grandma
Speaker 1: was like, don't your feet start to hurt after long
Speaker 1: flights like this, like from them just being still? And
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, it hurts a lot. And then
Speaker 1: she was like, I have this, and then she used
Speaker 1: her cane to like poke her bag and she showed
Speaker 1: me that she'd put her bag there so that her
Speaker 1: feet were like a little lifted so that the blood
Speaker 1: wouldn't go to her feet. And then when I got
Speaker 1: on my Uber, I realized Uber is literally so fucking
Speaker 1: scary because I got an Uber that and it was
Speaker 1: a Model X Tesla, which I'd never been in, but
Speaker 1: you know how they like go super fast. My Uber
Speaker 1: was trying to fucking show off or something because in
Speaker 1: the airport when I got into the car, he zoomed
Speaker 1: to forty in a second. I was like, he's gonna
Speaker 1: kill me, and he literally shaved three minutes off of
Speaker 1: the drive because he was driving so fucking crazy.
Speaker 2: You remember you were in that car too, that BMW
Speaker 2: that went like one hundred and fourty Oh yes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it hit one hundred and seventy miles peru.
Speaker 2: I fucking scariest, Like why did I think that sure
Speaker 2: of it? And it was the picture I got was
Speaker 2: one twenty nine, which is like the fastest I've ever
Speaker 2: gone in a car.
Speaker 1: But yeah, ubers are so scary. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: does Uber have anything to stop minors from getting him cars?
Speaker 2: Because I was like, we were we were fucking fourteen
Speaker 2: and fifteen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, getting into random ubers. And I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: if anybody at Uber hears this, you could take this
Speaker 1: idea and implement it, Like I won't be mad, because honestly.
Speaker 2: I just can't do id people because I got id'd before.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's anymore, but.
Speaker 1: I think you can get idd when you go into it,
Speaker 1: because technically miners shouldn't be allowed to get into it.
Speaker 1: But like, of course there's ubers who are like, bitch,
Speaker 1: I'm taking this ride, like I'm gonna like get my money.
Speaker 1: But what I was thinking was for a way to
Speaker 1: make it so that because obviously there are setups where
Speaker 1: like if a parent like can't take their kid to
Speaker 1: school or something like that or pick their kid up,
Speaker 1: they'll like maybe send an Uber for the kid. What
Speaker 1: they should do is have like accounts. But this is
Speaker 1: maybe a liability thing, and that's a whole other discussion.
Speaker 1: But if it's not, you can take my idea. I
Speaker 1: was thinking, oh my god, why don't they just have
Speaker 1: accounts that, like you can have a parental account so
Speaker 1: that the kid can like only get in an uber
Speaker 1: when it sends like a verification code to the parent
Speaker 1: and like they get a yes back for the kid
Speaker 1: to get in the car. But I think that would
Speaker 1: open a lot of liability up.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean take it. Just put it in
Speaker 2: like like a Chucky doll package that like a four
Speaker 2: year old toddler and like so it's like a toy
Speaker 2: and you ship, yeah.
Speaker 1: Do the package thing on the uber and just throw
Speaker 1: your kid in there.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I debated whether I was going to talk
Speaker 2: about this or not, because it is actually so fucking
Speaker 2: humiliating and embarrassing for me that this happened. But the
Speaker 2: show We're here on HBO premiered, and if you don't
Speaker 2: know what the show is, it's I forget the Returning
Speaker 2: Drag Queens that yeah, like I know bombs the drag
Speaker 2: Queen Eureka and Shandela. Yeah. I don't know if they're
Speaker 2: the host every season, but they were the hosts of
Speaker 2: this episode, and I had watched this is actually so
Speaker 2: fucked up. But I had watched like the first season
Speaker 2: with like a hookup before we hooked up in bed,
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh my god, this is like
Speaker 2: this is awful. But anyways, not the show, but this
Speaker 2: environment that I'm in, like energy that I'm having right now.
Speaker 2: But I'm watching this show and Madeline and Steel or
Speaker 2: I'm at Madeline and Steven's house and they're like, oh,
Speaker 2: let's watch the We're here episode. We open it, it
Speaker 2: says Granberry, Texas, which is my hometown. There's no way
Speaker 2: open the fucking episode. It is fully an entire I
Speaker 2: know they showed.
Speaker 1: The square and I was like, I've been there.
Speaker 2: It's the entire episode on drag Queens going to my hometown.
Speaker 2: And I remember hearing about this a while ago, on
Speaker 2: like the fourth of July, because like it was like
Speaker 2: it was a big thing. Like people were being like
Speaker 2: extremely hateful and they were like, no, we don't want
Speaker 2: drag queens in our community, we don't want gay people
Speaker 2: in our community, blah blah blah blah blah, like just
Speaker 2: being hateful bigots and like threatening them, like threatening their
Speaker 2: lives and shit. And like I was like Oh, there's
Speaker 2: no way they aired that episode, or if they do,
Speaker 2: they're not going to talk about that. Nope. The entire
Speaker 2: episode was how fucking awful Granberry, Texas and how terrible
Speaker 2: my hometown is. And I was so fucking embarrassed. But
Speaker 2: I was also high on Delta eight or whatever, which.
Speaker 1: Is another story, high on fucking Deli.
Speaker 2: With fucking cybernetic weed. That ship is straight Kim's bro Like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, it's cybernetic.
Speaker 1: And then what's that one word you said at the
Speaker 1: last episode with the little like the little symbols and
Speaker 1: dead chips you're eating. It's called the Star with a
Speaker 1: or something.
Speaker 2: Ammonia.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, non ammonia. It's like you air dropped
Speaker 1: it on the plane to Japan.
Speaker 2: Oh sinuals.
Speaker 1: Yeah, cybernetics and sinuals. And I went to the biggest
Speaker 1: fucking smoke shop and it scared the funk to me.
Speaker 1: They had a free Kratum sign and I've seen createm
Speaker 1: with smoke shops. Drew, I should have taken a picture,
Speaker 1: but like the guy who worked there was like kind
Speaker 1: of like watching me and my friend walk around. I
Speaker 1: was like, I won't like take pictures because I don't
Speaker 1: want him to feel like we're making fun of him
Speaker 1: in some way. But it was so huge. It was
Speaker 1: in what used to be a pay Less but it
Speaker 1: didn't get smaller shop, but it didn't get smaller.
Speaker 2: It was that big.
Speaker 1: It was the biggest smoke shop ever. And I was like,
Speaker 1: Drew should be here because this is crazy. They had
Speaker 1: like you know, like when you buy like flower, like
Speaker 1: big things of flower, that.
Speaker 2: That is fucking crazy. The noise realization of kretom is
Speaker 2: so dangerous. I've seen it at fucking air one. I've
Speaker 2: seen videos of uh like girls like going to Airwin
Speaker 2: and getting this shot that they don't know what's in
Speaker 2: it and saying like, oh, like this is supposedly like
Speaker 2: a supposedly a like alternating an alternative to drinking, So
Speaker 2: I'm gonna drink this before I go out so I
Speaker 2: don't drink tonight. What they don't fucking realize is they're
Speaker 2: taking like essentially a dose of fucking pain killers before
Speaker 2: they go out. So just tread fucking carefully with kratum.
Speaker 2: It is so evil and diabolical and it's crazy that
Speaker 2: it's being normalized, and like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I literally yeah, I have awful opinions on too, and
Speaker 1: when I saw the free kratems on it, I was like,
Speaker 1: this is crazy and then I asked him. I was like,
Speaker 1: I was like, I know this is Florida, but like
Speaker 1: where in Miami And we're like not in like the
Speaker 1: part of Miami that like who I assume like uses
Speaker 1: Kreatum is in And I was like, oh, like is
Speaker 1: this popular?
Speaker 2: Him?
Speaker 1: He was like, we have people lining up at like
Speaker 1: eight am to like get like that should be a signed.
Speaker 2: To not sell it but legal fucking heroine. But anyways,
Speaker 2: I'll finish my story. We'll talk about that in another
Speaker 2: episode because we both have crazy fucking opinions on that.
Speaker 2: But what was I saying about?
Speaker 1: Okay, so yeah, sorry.
Speaker 2: And no you were good, but or you're good, but
Speaker 2: we're here on Granbury, Texas. Without spoiling too much, because
Speaker 2: you should go watch the episode because it's it's really
Speaker 2: fucking good. I guess I was just finished. I just
Speaker 2: all I wanted to say is that like I'm fucking
Speaker 2: embarrassed of my hometown and sad and like honestly like
Speaker 2: amazed with my parents and the fact that I was
Speaker 2: raised in that hometown. The way I was and still
Speaker 2: came out a normal fucking person with like good values
Speaker 2: and morals because like the people that I grew up
Speaker 2: around are those people. And I didn't realize it was
Speaker 2: bad growing up until I grew up and I was like, like,
Speaker 2: my hometown is fucking evil and they fucking suck and
Speaker 2: they are bigots and they are I mean.
Speaker 1: It is crazy how like there I always talk. I
Speaker 1: actually got to a huge conversation about it with somebody
Speaker 1: who's like a photography teacher at a art school in Miami,
Speaker 1: and I was like, it is really insane to think that,
Speaker 1: like already because of where my parents come from, like
Speaker 1: I don't live I never lived in like a political
Speaker 1: household Like that was like that was never a conversation
Speaker 1: in my household. Like politics and stuff was like just
Speaker 1: always it for reasons I would rather than divulge publicly,
Speaker 1: but like it was just not let's just say it
Speaker 1: didn't really affect us or them. But because that wasn't
Speaker 1: a thing, Like I never heard like super homophobic rhetoric.
Speaker 1: Of course, I heard like the classic like random comments
Speaker 1: that would like make me and my siblings be like
Speaker 1: what do you mean?
Speaker 2: What do you mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what are you saying? But like, especially now, like
Speaker 1: my dad is like my dad specifically, my mom is
Speaker 1: just an angel and like literally I don't there's a
Speaker 1: hateful bone in her body, and neither for my dad really,
Speaker 1: but like I just never heard that kind of crazy
Speaker 1: ass rhetoric. Damn, like you're choking.
Speaker 4: I got pretty high before this, Yeah, but I just.
Speaker 1: Never heard that kind of rhetoric. And it is crazy
Speaker 1: to think that there are some households that are like
Speaker 1: so like strict and like hard to like grow up in,
Speaker 1: especially if you fall under like certain like identities. And
Speaker 1: that's just that that's it. Like I just like I
Speaker 1: always like when I hear because now I have plenty
Speaker 1: of friends who I hear about it, and I'm just
Speaker 1: like I never realized growing up how lucky I had
Speaker 1: it in terms of like my parents were just so
Speaker 1: fucking willy nilly in a lot of ways.
Speaker 2: They were just like, let you fucking do you figure
Speaker 2: it out? So lucky. But yeah, that that's kind of
Speaker 2: all I wanted to say, is just it is insane
Speaker 2: that like you.
Speaker 1: Can cough, he's like scared to cough. Let it out
Speaker 1: be true? Did you choke on water?
Speaker 4: I don't know what I choked on my penis. Oh
Speaker 4: my god, Oh yeah, I choked.
Speaker 1: On It's like, you know how the microphone wires, wires
Speaker 1: are like going over there. Yeah, it's snaking over to you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to find the stupid ass comment you made
Speaker 1: to me and what I said to you.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I while and just finding that comment. I
Speaker 2: guess it was a really bad idea for the first time,
Speaker 2: me trying weed, let alone cybernetic weed, and a very
Speaker 2: long time. I was watching an episode of a show
Speaker 2: about drag queens that is going to completely ship on
Speaker 2: and destroy my hometown where I grew up. But I
Speaker 2: got high and I had a good time. I had
Speaker 2: a good I know.
Speaker 1: I called Drew and I was so shocked and I
Speaker 1: was literally so jealous.
Speaker 2: I had like such a blast and I was like, damn,
Speaker 2: maybe I can.
Speaker 1: Maybe what you need is the cybernetic That's what.
Speaker 2: I was thinking. I had that thought. I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: maybe I need this bullshit like that.
Speaker 4: It's real.
Speaker 2: We just might be too potent, it's too fucking strong
Speaker 2: because like literally never mind, like uh that's another conversation,
Speaker 2: but just completely actually I'm gonna get into it.
Speaker 1: No no, no, you said, see how hard I have it?
Speaker 1: And I was like, wait, why is there going to
Speaker 1: be a gay statue of you when when you Elton
Speaker 1: John John yourself in thirty years, like you are going
Speaker 1: to be the first gay Granberry Fame like Hall of
Speaker 1: Fame alumni, and there's gonna be a big statue of you,
Speaker 1: like like with and your whole you're holding a Discos
Speaker 1: town Gosh, but yeah, did it make you? Did it
Speaker 1: make you sad?
Speaker 4: Not?
Speaker 2: Yes, sad because some of the kids in that show.
Speaker 2: I was like, damn, Like I don't know. It was
Speaker 2: just crazy to just think be introspective kind of about
Speaker 2: my hometown and like look at it on like a
Speaker 2: more macro level than like kind of what I know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, then just like the nostalgia based shit yeh have
Speaker 1: on it because.
Speaker 2: I'm like, damn, this place does fucking suck. Like I
Speaker 2: love it and I love going back there, but like, damn,
Speaker 2: like there was just a lot of like the whole
Speaker 2: shit that I had to deal with growing up, and
Speaker 2: like just interesting looking at it from like a lens
Speaker 2: of someone who I respect their opinions and like, I
Speaker 2: don't know, it's just very crazy, But yeah, I got
Speaker 2: fucking stoned as fuck and it was lit. I loved it.
Speaker 2: And there was a moment though, where I laughed out
Speaker 2: loud at the show that we were watching, We're Here,
Speaker 2: because I was literally, this sounds like a fucking We're
Speaker 2: here brand deal. But I was like, I laughed out
Speaker 2: loud at it, and then I got really quiet for
Speaker 2: twenty minutes and was inside my head spiraling about my
Speaker 2: laugh and I was like, oh my god, like that
Speaker 2: was too loud. That was a weird laugh, Like I
Speaker 2: can't believe I laughed Like that was that too loud
Speaker 2: that I even laugh? Like what's going on? And then
Speaker 2: I would just like spiral out of control and then
Speaker 2: ended up thinking about like killing myself or some shit
Speaker 2: like and that don't needed off myself. But that's what
Speaker 2: we does to me. That's why I can't do it.
Speaker 2: Is it like really makes me spiral in a bad way.
Speaker 2: Well turned it around.
Speaker 1: While you were doing that, I was in my old
Speaker 1: I was in my like thirties era where my mom
Speaker 1: was like we should have wine and I was like okay,
Speaker 1: and then I would get a bottle of wine with
Speaker 1: her and like sit at the table with a cup
Speaker 1: of wine and like talking to my mom and like
Speaker 1: my friends, and I was like, damn, this is like
Speaker 1: this really is what being in your mid twenties is, Like,
Speaker 1: well shit, but it was fucking lip.
Speaker 2: Did we ever talk about the Luaeva party? No, so
Speaker 2: Ya got invited to this Loua party and I'll let
Speaker 2: you like preface in.
Speaker 1: So I got invited and I really wanted to go,
Speaker 1: but like, originally I was going to go with Ryan,
Speaker 1: but she I fucked up the dates and she was
Speaker 1: like on the other side of town, and I just
Speaker 1: want I like, I get really anxious about those kind
Speaker 1: of things because like especially going alone, Like I don't
Speaker 1: want to go to I don't think anybody wants to
Speaker 1: go to a fucking party alone, let alone a party
Speaker 1: where I'm like, oh, like I don't know if anybody
Speaker 1: I know is going to be there and it's kind
Speaker 1: of like an event thing whatever. So like, but I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna go because like I want to
Speaker 1: be in these kind of rooms and I need to
Speaker 1: just put myself in the room and whatever.
Speaker 2: So own this space and I like it. I belong.
Speaker 1: I asked Josiah and Drew to drop me off and
Speaker 1: like they're in their pgs like about to have like
Speaker 1: a chill ass, like sit down night, and I was like,
Speaker 1: can y'all drop me off and whatever? And then like
Speaker 1: maybe I'll be in for fifteen minutes and just like
Speaker 1: kind of linger around if you're down, and like I'll
Speaker 1: get out and like come back out. But then we
Speaker 1: got there and I was texting around about her getting
Speaker 1: there and she was like, dude, I'm still at this
Speaker 1: dinner or whatever. And then I was like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: so far from where she is. I don't even know
Speaker 1: if it's worth it for her to come here because
Speaker 1: I don't want to be here that long. So then
Speaker 1: I was like freaking out because I was like, dude,
Speaker 1: I need to go inside. But then I texted a
Speaker 1: few friends and they were like they're going to go,
Speaker 1: so I was like, oh, maybe they're there already. Maybe
Speaker 1: I just go in. Like I was just freaking the
Speaker 1: fuck out about like going inside because.
Speaker 2: Being alone, it just wasn't the vibe that either.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was just like scared. I think, no matter
Speaker 1: what vibe I was in, I don't want to go
Speaker 1: into somewhere alone because I get really scared and like
Speaker 1: nervous and uncomfortable and like in my head about like
Speaker 1: meeting there, and I'm like, oh my god, I'm the
Speaker 1: loser who whatever, even though no one gives a fuck.
Speaker 1: But basically I had like texted somebody and I was like,
Speaker 1: is there a chance, like I could bring one of
Speaker 1: my friends who's in the car with me in because
Speaker 1: like I can't go in, and like Drew and Joe
Speaker 1: Sigher were like, I'm not fucking going in, bitch, Like
Speaker 1: I'm literally.
Speaker 2: Like in a self destruct mode. So I was like,
Speaker 2: I'll go in, but I'm in my pjs.
Speaker 1: But Tupler like stripe pjs with his combde fucked down.
Speaker 2: It was fucking sick. It was the hardest outfit of twenty.
Speaker 1: And his like orange and blue like flattered paint.
Speaker 2: I think I like subconsciously threw together those last bits
Speaker 2: just in case I was going to go in, so
Speaker 2: I could you get Jewish? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And then he like went in and literally like so
Speaker 1: it was like Josiah inside was listening to me, well
Speaker 1: because you you went just making sure you heard that,
Speaker 1: oh yeah no. And I just didn't want to comment
Speaker 1: on it because I was gonna let it go, like
Speaker 1: I understood what you said, but whatever we like end
Speaker 1: up it ends up being that both of them could
Speaker 1: go in. So like and my like, my girl who
Speaker 1: was like getting me in, was like, oh, like just
Speaker 1: there's ballet, so just bring your car up and like
Speaker 1: y'all can go in. So we valet the car and
Speaker 1: hop out me in like this cute fit like obviously,
Speaker 1: like I dressed up to go to this party and
Speaker 1: then like Josiah in his sweats socks and like this
Speaker 1: juicy guitar crop top I gave him because he didn't
Speaker 1: want to wear them. Yeah, he didn't want to wear
Speaker 1: his other shirt, so he wore that and then a
Speaker 1: sweater wrapped around it, like like he was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in my pjs. I wanted
Speaker 1: to be a crazy fit. So I gave him basically
Speaker 1: what I had in my trunk and then he had
Speaker 1: his hair up and his glasses on and then drew
Speaker 1: on my other side in his fucking craziest outfit. And
Speaker 1: my like the girl getting me in was literally like
Speaker 1: this is awesome.
Speaker 2: Like she was like this is so funny.
Speaker 1: She was like, oh yeah, y'all like dressed the part,
Speaker 1: like go in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we pull up. We go inside and it's
Speaker 2: not a small event. It's like it was a party. Yeah,
Speaker 2: ever is there, and like it's a party. It's like
Speaker 2: a cool thing. And then I'm walking around in a
Speaker 2: comb de fuck down beanie all the way to my eyebrows,
Speaker 2: literal pajamas. But I felt cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was awesome. We like stood in there for
Speaker 1: like literally thirty minutes, talk to a few friends, and
Speaker 1: then like we were like, all right, we need to
Speaker 1: leave because it literally was a party, like.
Speaker 2: We were famous people. By the way, I just need
Speaker 2: to say that they were famous people that we were
Speaker 2: friends with, because like we know famous people.
Speaker 1: Like, it's just you might as well like name drop.
Speaker 1: No name dropping is like makes you a loser. But cat,
Speaker 1: we just just start claiming that we're like really close
Speaker 1: to her.
Speaker 2: That's all we do. Life.
Speaker 1: Oh Timothy was there. Oh my god. We should have
Speaker 1: mentioned how good he wasn't bones and all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll just text after this, honestly, Yeah, text him.
Speaker 2: I'm going to FaceTime. I'm in a bit probably I
Speaker 2: haven't talked to him a while.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll just hop on with you. But yeah, Drew
Speaker 1: pulled the worst fits. We'll throw it. Actually it was
Speaker 1: like the best fit. But it was just awesome because
Speaker 1: like he looked he looked like he accidentally like had
Speaker 1: too much melatonin and was like, I'm going to take
Speaker 1: a Napple for the party. I'm like exhausted, gave himself melatonin,
Speaker 1: woke up as the party star was like, dude, fuck,
Speaker 1: I need to just like get there, and then went
Speaker 1: because like your eyes were a little droopy, but like
Speaker 1: that was a part of the look yep, and that's it.
Speaker 1: I think that's it.
Speaker 2: That was the lave event fiasco. I did get laid
Speaker 2: that night.
Speaker 1: No he didn't. He did not. He went home and
Speaker 1: went to sleep.
Speaker 2: And then you know what's so crazy is I wore
Speaker 2: the pajamas to the party, smoked cigarette, peeled disgusting as sweaty, event,
Speaker 2: came home, went to bed in them because I'm not
Speaker 2: washing that shit. I wanted to wear my pajamas. I
Speaker 2: was ready for bed. We were only there for like
Speaker 2: twenty Oh fuck, what the fuck was I gonna say?
Speaker 1: Based on oh and because that we were like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, wait, we should go out tomorrow, like we
Speaker 1: should re enter our like going out and having fun era.
Speaker 1: And then the next night when it came to it.
Speaker 1: There was like a party we were gonna go to,
Speaker 1: and all of us are like, hell no, like I'm
Speaker 1: not doing We've been in our like stay home and
Speaker 1: play Fortnite and like talk to nobody and do nothing
Speaker 1: and like brought away.
Speaker 2: Well, one time, at a random hookup, they had pasta
Speaker 2: on the stove while we were hooking up. It started
Speaker 2: smoking so fucking much that I thought we were going
Speaker 2: to die of smoke.
Speaker 4: In elation.
Speaker 2: I still saw it through though. That's why I wrote down.
Speaker 1: What did y'all just like like water it down and
Speaker 1: keep it pushing.
Speaker 2: No, I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened.
Speaker 2: I just remember the pasta setting on fire.
Speaker 1: Why, well, my dad, if you know, you know, like
Speaker 1: when you make big pots of like soup or like
Speaker 1: beef soup or chicken soup, like what a lot at
Speaker 1: least my family did. I'm assuming this is what Latin
Speaker 1: families will do there. Yeah, you just leave it on
Speaker 1: the stove and they and you like heat it up
Speaker 1: every day so that it doesn't rot. Which I don't
Speaker 1: know what the theory to that is, but whatever, But
Speaker 1: my dad like three times in one year came home
Speaker 1: from being out and like drinking with his friends and
Speaker 1: would come home and then be like, fuck, I didn't
Speaker 1: heat up the soups today, and like go to heat
Speaker 1: up the soup, and me and my siblings would wake
Speaker 1: up in the living room with the house full of smoke,
Speaker 1: would be like, what the fuck are He's like fuck
Speaker 1: the soup, and like would have to go and like
Speaker 1: throw the pot outside and water it down, and then
Speaker 1: we'd have to stay up for an hour with the
Speaker 1: windows open, waiting until like got out so that we
Speaker 1: didn't die of smoke intellect. And he did that like
Speaker 1: three times in a year, and then he stopped, obviously
Speaker 1: thinking in his drunken stupor that he was gonna like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I'm gonna save myself like thirty dollars worth
Speaker 1: of soup right now.
Speaker 2: You know what, Actually this is crazy. This is completely
Speaker 2: different from what you were talking about, but it kind
Speaker 2: of goes with the whole like my hometown, learning different
Speaker 2: shit growing up and like hearing different things and being
Speaker 2: surrounded by different things instead of fucking sex ed, which
Speaker 2: is what I thought it was called. But I was
Speaker 2: reminded recently that we had a class called abstinence in
Speaker 2: public school. Wow, so they didn't teach us sexual education.
Speaker 2: They taught us not to have sex. Is that what
Speaker 2: abstinence is? Yeah, like abstaining from sex. Yeah, that's what
Speaker 2: we were taught in school.
Speaker 1: We were taught sex ed. And I remember literally in
Speaker 1: fifth grade when we were all sat like in different rooms,
Speaker 1: like the boys in one room with the girls in
Speaker 1: one room, to watch our separate videos. And like I
Speaker 1: remember because it was like an illustration, and that was
Speaker 1: in the era where everybody was smoking Smarties and like
Speaker 1: a bunch of us weren't paying attention and we're like
Speaker 1: smoking Smarties. And then in ninth grade, they like did
Speaker 1: and we had a whole sex ad class, like we like, yeah,
Speaker 1: our school fully had a class dedicated to sex education.
Speaker 1: Like it was like our last period, my last period.
Speaker 1: And I remember when they did the condom thing with
Speaker 1: the banana and we were like, you're playing with the
Speaker 1: fucking banana right now.
Speaker 2: You're so weird we have that, And I thought we
Speaker 2: had that. But what I do remember is we did
Speaker 2: watch those videos in fifth grade, like boys and one arm,
Speaker 2: girls in the other. And I remember at the end
Speaker 2: of it, we were all given like a little goodie
Speaker 2: bag of like Hyagiene products because it was like thirty
Speaker 2: of us watching the video and in the bag there
Speaker 2: was like a mini version of this deodorant that to
Speaker 2: this day, I think it's the best smelling deodorant I've
Speaker 2: ever smelt. And it was what's the red brand off
Speaker 2: spice one old spice. It was like old spice, Yeah,
Speaker 2: ice spice. It's the munch flavor, but the flavor. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because you eat deodorant. That's how you keep your armpits clean.
Speaker 2: Nod On, Yeah, you fucking put it on. What are
Speaker 2: you talking about right now? You're crazy When I rub
Speaker 2: it on my skin and give me king burns and
Speaker 2: then you eat it and then it just comes up.
Speaker 1: Okay, old literally gives everybody.
Speaker 2: Yeah, why is that a thing that everybody has had
Speaker 2: happened in their life? And their deal of profiting brand
Speaker 2: that's on the shlves.
Speaker 1: Men are so useless to somebody I used to see
Speaker 1: got mad chemical burns from their deodorant and I was
Speaker 1: like and he was just like, I don't know, Like
Speaker 1: I guess that's just the way it is. And I
Speaker 1: was like, that's not the way it is. You stop
Speaker 1: using it. You switch over and I had to manually
Speaker 1: throw away his deodorant and go to the store with
Speaker 1: him to get him new deyodorant and be like, this
Speaker 1: won't burn you.
Speaker 2: I had that happen in like middle school, where I
Speaker 2: got the kim burns and I never used it again.
Speaker 2: But that deodorant is the greatest smelling deodorant I've ever
Speaker 2: smelled in my life. And sometimes I'll get a whiff
Speaker 2: of it in public and I haven't been able to
Speaker 2: find it, and you'll get a whiff of someone wearing
Speaker 2: it in public, and I'm not going to go up
Speaker 2: to a random fucking dude and be like, what deyodurant
Speaker 2: are you wearing right now? Because I remember it when
Speaker 2: I was in fifth grade and I love it. Can't
Speaker 2: do that and I just can never find it. And
Speaker 2: it was like the original formulae, we.
Speaker 1: Should go to CDs and like open all of them
Speaker 1: and like give them whiffs.
Speaker 2: Word. I've done that before, and I just cannot find.
Speaker 1: We haven't hung out in a CDs together and too long.
Speaker 1: I was trying to get all my friends of Miami
Speaker 1: to hang out in a CBS. We were like doing
Speaker 1: the thing that's like very Miami of US, where we
Speaker 1: had nowhere to fucking go, and we were just like
Speaker 1: standing in different parking lots until we decided, until I
Speaker 1: finally convinced everybody to go to Flantagan's at one am
Speaker 1: and those chicken wings, Like dude, they My stomach was
Speaker 1: genuinely like contorting, like it was like jumping, and I've
Speaker 1: never had that happen. And I actually was like, fuck, dude,
Speaker 1: I wanted this so bad and now it's I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have food poisoning and like fucking stomach ulcers from it.
Speaker 1: But I think I am the clear. But I was
Speaker 1: like when everybody was walking to their cars, we were like,
Speaker 1: that's it, like the hang is over. Meanwhile, I was
Speaker 1: like one forty am and I was like, the hang
Speaker 1: is over, Like should we go to cbses And everybody
Speaker 1: was like, no, bitch, we're going home, and I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, sorry, let's go.
Speaker 2: They just don't hang Yeah.
Speaker 1: They don't understand. They don't understand the CBS Sleigh.
Speaker 2: This CV Sleigh, the Yodling Kid and Backpack Kid actually dated.
Speaker 2: Did you know that little thing?
Speaker 1: Think they have a weird age gap, so like, what's
Speaker 1: up with that.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm fucking saying. That's what I've been saying
Speaker 2: this entire time.
Speaker 1: Who would be who would have got a Thunberg date
Speaker 1: in the like in that sphere, like who would be
Speaker 1: like her girl middle sex? No, No, I can't see that.
Speaker 1: I feel like she has to date a girl. I
Speaker 1: just that's her vite for me.
Speaker 2: Like this, I'd say the girl that was on Ellen
Speaker 2: DeGeneres with her and her and now she's like a
Speaker 2: drill rapper okay, opposite?
Speaker 1: Yeah, either that or you know, who would be the
Speaker 1: Grace Vanderwald girl. Do you know what I'm saying? She's
Speaker 1: gorgeous also, but like they like I need to see
Speaker 1: them go on a.
Speaker 2: Date Daniel Larson being obsessed with Grace Vanderwall Wait.
Speaker 1: Is that what I they get? Okay, but they would
Speaker 1: have to like go on a date when like Grace
Speaker 1: first did her first audition like her and Greta like
Speaker 1: at fourteen or like I don't know how old she
Speaker 1: is here, but if it worked out, ship ship ship,
Speaker 1: she was so cute?
Speaker 2: What was she?
Speaker 1: Wait?
Speaker 2: Why did she ate? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, like get to sing? This is Christian?
Speaker 2: Yes, no, she's her own song too.
Speaker 1: No, no, mine eggs.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't play by the rules of the game.
Speaker 2: Come on, chow, I play the games.
Speaker 1: I didn't know I have goose bumps, an original song
Speaker 1: with the it's well wow, okay, this episode is dedicated
Speaker 1: to Grace. Yeah, yeah, girl, this is Grace's episode. Wow
Speaker 1: yeah wow. I feel like she has a tapestry in
Speaker 1: her room right now.
Speaker 2: Oh, she definitely does.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I bet she bleached frybrows right now too.
Speaker 1: She would eat with bleached eyebrows. No, she's definitely past
Speaker 1: her tapestry.
Speaker 2: Bitch.
Speaker 1: At the rate she was moving, she already.
Speaker 2: Had her tap stream that up, like right, But there
Speaker 2: was something that I wanted to right.
Speaker 1: Right right somebody. I saw somebody comment. It was like, dude,
Speaker 1: I didn't get half the references they were like talking
Speaker 1: about this last episode, right.
Speaker 2: If you don't know that one, Like come on, well,
Speaker 2: let's talk about China regulating their TikTok to their youth
Speaker 2: and promoting only thirty minutes a day on their app.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's an hour. I don't fucking know. And on
Speaker 2: top of that, they promote learning TikTok to everybody, but
Speaker 2: in America they don't have a time limit to our children,
Speaker 2: and you can watch whatever the fuck I can watch
Speaker 2: a person die and then three seconds later watch i'd
Speaker 2: cute animal video.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm not on TikTok anymore, so explain that. But
Speaker 1: you know what, like what's better me spending like four
Speaker 1: hours on TikTok or me becoming hyper obsessed with my
Speaker 1: plane crash.
Speaker 2: And also buying shit? Yeah at an alarming right, right,
Speaker 2: because there's allays how much you get those carrots for?
Speaker 1: I would pay ninety nine cents for them?
Speaker 2: Is that like on a good day or just like
Speaker 2: a whatever fucking price?
Speaker 1: That's that's a good price?
Speaker 2: Thirty cents, thirty three cents, thirty three cents, that's an
Speaker 2: obscure reference. And if you get that one, that's crazy.
Speaker 1: But I was that good or just whatever?
Speaker 2: Is that a good price or whatever price?
Speaker 4: Is that?
Speaker 2: So? Is that good or whatever price?
Speaker 1: Yeah? We just have to tweak it a little so
Speaker 1: we could use it like, right, so is that good
Speaker 1: or just like whatever? Right?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: We need to make them day holy.
Speaker 1: Like the end of this episode has been like nothing,
Speaker 1: Like I haven't like acknowledged that there's a camera here.
Speaker 1: We've just been talking to each other.
Speaker 2: But there was something else I have.
Speaker 1: I'm going to save it for the next episode since
Speaker 1: we got a stack for the holidays. Do you want
Speaker 1: to save it? Yeah? Yeah, save yourself. Hey, you have
Speaker 1: to save yourself.
Speaker 4: You know what it was?
Speaker 2: Spotify rats, Oh the thirteenth.
Speaker 1: Maybe that could be our media. Let's go into media,
Speaker 1: but it'll be No, let's save it. Save that for
Speaker 1: the New Year's episode.
Speaker 2: All right, media, I wish you n what you're listening
Speaker 2: to right now.
Speaker 1: Technopolicy by Yellow Magic Orchestra. That's the way. Actually, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to give that one because I want to
Speaker 1: keep that one for myself right now? How about that?
Speaker 1: And then honestly, Love is Overtaking Me by Arthur Russell
Speaker 1: and Black Metal by Dean Blunt. That's like all I've
Speaker 1: been listening to recently, other than like.
Speaker 2: Other Samar saying I had to dream you were a
Speaker 2: suicide bomber and you literally bombed the gas station sounds
Speaker 2: about right. Why is everybody dreaming about me? Dreamed about me?
Speaker 1: Quinn scary dream about true too?
Speaker 2: Maybe you are overtaken by deal I think so, And
Speaker 2: these are like my spiritual friends? Is spiritual?
Speaker 1: Noamar, I don't find Zamar like to be a spiritual
Speaker 1: man lives by the happiness of his own accord.
Speaker 2: Which is beautiful, and I'm jealous. So I was on
Speaker 2: like a sad ass fucking vibe in Texas. So Pinta
Speaker 2: Nina Santa Maria by evangelists, ladies and gentlemen. We are
Speaker 2: floating in space spiritualized. And you know I did it.
Speaker 1: You.
Speaker 2: I had to fucking do it, and I did star
Speaker 2: roving and slow mo by slow dive. I had to
Speaker 2: do it. I just had to because it was an
Speaker 2: emotional thanksgiving for some reason, just satisfycing. But I loved it.
Speaker 2: It's cute, all right.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you guys so much for listening. See you
Speaker 1: next week.
Speaker 2: Gay Penis, You's recycled.