1 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:09,399 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 1: tip is that bad news rarely improves with age. If 4 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 1: you need to share news that you know will disappoint 5 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:30,680 Speaker 1: or anger someone, or will require a big shift in plans, 6 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:37,199 Speaker 1: don't delay. It is rarely helpful, and it is sometimes 7 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:43,840 Speaker 1: harmful to hold bad news. Deliver it soon and everyone 8 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: can begin to move on. If you have ever been 9 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:53,519 Speaker 1: the recipient of bad news, you know that in general, 10 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 1: the hardest moments come right afterwards. There might be grief 11 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:04,119 Speaker 1: or anger or worry, but those arrive on the scene 12 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 1: pretty fast. If it's clear you're going to need to 13 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 1: change plans, that will likely be obvious too, and these 14 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: emotions are hard. But after the initial flood or sense 15 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:21,959 Speaker 1: of new responsibility, you start processing all of that. You 16 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:24,399 Speaker 1: start making a plan for the steps you need to take. 17 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,279 Speaker 1: As you do that, the shape of the problem starts 18 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:31,319 Speaker 1: to become clearer, and you start marshaling the resources to 19 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:36,640 Speaker 1: deal with it. Doing that can start making the situation better. 20 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 1: The problem with delaying information is that the grief and 21 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 1: anger are inevitable, as is the moving forward. But waiting 22 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:52,800 Speaker 1: raises the specter of you being perceived as untrustworthy or 23 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 1: people making decisions that they wouldn't have otherwise. The bad 24 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: news isn't going to get better with time, but the 25 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: situation itself could get more complicated, as can your relationship 26 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 1: with anyone who needs to know. So for example, if 27 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,239 Speaker 1: you have lost your job, it is best to tell 28 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:16,639 Speaker 1: your spouse right away. He'll want to support you and 29 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 1: form a plan to gather for how you'll navigate the 30 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:23,520 Speaker 1: job search and the loss of your paycheck. If you 31 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:26,520 Speaker 1: delay telling him, he may feel angry at being left 32 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: in the dark, and he may have incurred an expense 33 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:34,639 Speaker 1: he wouldn't have if he'd known about the circumstances. This 34 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,080 Speaker 1: may not be the time to book that surprise trip 35 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: to New Zealand. I mean, maybe it is if you 36 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:44,680 Speaker 1: are completely financially comfortable, since you won't have to hurry 37 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 1: back to a job. But if your job loss will 38 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:52,119 Speaker 1: materially affect the family, then it is good to tell 39 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 1: the people it will affect. If your cat got hit 40 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:02,680 Speaker 1: by a car, tell your kids immediately. They are never 41 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,679 Speaker 1: going to be happy about it, of course, but you 42 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,800 Speaker 1: will threaten their trust if they find out that you 43 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,920 Speaker 1: knew the cat had died, but let them think he 44 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:17,799 Speaker 1: was just wandering around and might come home now. Obviously, 45 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:22,200 Speaker 1: there are exceptions. Occasionally it does make sense to delay 46 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:25,919 Speaker 1: sharing bad news. For instance, if you have a health 47 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 1: diagnosis that you need to share, you may decide to 48 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:34,360 Speaker 1: do that after a loved one's wedding this weekend. If 49 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,440 Speaker 1: you know your spouse is giving a huge presentation at work, 50 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,440 Speaker 1: you do not need to call to tell about that 51 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 1: major roof leak right before, especially if you have already 52 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 1: called the appropriate professionals and are dealing with it. You 53 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 1: can fill her in afterwards. But those are exceptions. In general, 54 00:03:56,480 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 1: bad news doesn't improve with age, So if you need 55 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 1: to deliver bad news, think through what's likely to happen 56 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 1: when you share the news, and unless that chain of 57 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 1: events is likely to be far worse today than it 58 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 1: would be at some specific time in the future, deliver 59 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:20,239 Speaker 1: the bad news now. By sharing the bad news sooner 60 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:22,599 Speaker 1: or the worst of the response will be behind you 61 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,479 Speaker 1: and you can all start dealing with the emotions or 62 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:30,359 Speaker 1: tasks you need to handle. But you won't lose people's 63 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:36,040 Speaker 1: trust in the process. Holding onto that is a bit 64 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: of good news, even if the overall news is grim. 65 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 1: In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and 66 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our times. Hey, everybody, 67 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,800 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from him. You can send me 68 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:04,479 Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with 69 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:08,919 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod 70 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:13,920 Speaker 1: that's b E the number four, then breakfast p o D. 71 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast 72 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:21,599 Speaker 1: Podcasts at iHeartMedia dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled 73 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 1: out with all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I 74 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a 75 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:36,960 Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the 76 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 77 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:41,480 Speaker 1: favorite shows.