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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcast and we have

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Speaker 1: some foundational stories coming up for you. But the thing

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Speaker 1: is this foundation needs a little support from these sponsors.

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Speaker 1: So stick around two minutes and we'll get into the episode.

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Speaker 2: My mother in law flirted with my father during my wedding.

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Speaker 1: Well maybe she'll be your new stepmom.

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Speaker 2: I'm twenty four, am I now ex husband is twenty nine.

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Speaker 2: We will call people in this story for privacy reasons.

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Speaker 1: Derek, hold on, we're just gonna be calling everyone. Derek.

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Speaker 1: We can't call everyone, Derek, what do we do? We

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Speaker 1: can't do that.

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Speaker 2: This is why we have commas people Derek my ex husband,

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Speaker 2: Stella my ex husband's consent, and Brenda mother in law.

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Speaker 1: Oh thank goodness, I would get it pretty confusing.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from anonymous bride. WTF and

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Speaker 2: if you want to spent your own stories, cook the

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Speaker 2: r slash Okay Storytime, separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota,

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Speaker 2: and we're here to give good advice goofully, but we

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Speaker 2: don't have all the answers know what we do, so

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Speaker 2: let's know what you would do in the comments.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, he says.

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Speaker 2: Me and my ex husband, Derek met when I moved

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Speaker 2: from Vancouver, Canada with my father to the US. I

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Speaker 2: was nineteen and he was twenty four. We met at

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Speaker 2: a grocery store when I was struggling to understand a

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Speaker 2: store employee's assistance. Back home, me and my father lived

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Speaker 2: on a more isolated property, away from people. I was

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Speaker 2: raised with French as my first language until today. I

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Speaker 2: struggled with English in my grammar, vocally and in writing.

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Speaker 2: He knew some poor French, but it helped me with

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Speaker 2: what I was asking for, and after that he casually

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Speaker 2: asked me out. We've been together ever since. He proposed

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Speaker 2: to me in September of last year. Before we were engaged,

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Speaker 2: I had what I thought was a strange relationship with

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Speaker 2: his mom, Brenda. She was a free spirited woman to

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Speaker 2: always complained she had her son too young and blamed

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Speaker 2: His father explained to me he only wants to get

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Speaker 2: women pregnant and then lead them. I didn't have much

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Speaker 2: family due to my father and mother isolating me from

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Speaker 2: my toxic mother's side. It was new to me to

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Speaker 2: be in a family of eight kids from thirty to

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Speaker 2: three years old. Brenda always spoke to me about her

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Speaker 2: issues with every new wife Derek's father had, and tried

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Speaker 2: to make bets with me how short these marriages last

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Speaker 2: after who gets a pregnancy? I was very uncomfortable. One

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Speaker 2: day when I came over to drop off containers Derek borrowed,

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Speaker 2: she asked me to help her with eating apps. I

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Speaker 2: sapt sure and ended up setting her up on five

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Speaker 2: five five five five seems like excessive, maybe a little

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Speaker 2: too much.

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Speaker 1: Maybe we're jumping the gut a little bit here.

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Speaker 2: You're checking all of those little did I know this

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Speaker 2: would be a very uncomfortable issue? Seems like that was Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that was pretty plain to see. Brenda would call me

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Speaker 2: and visit me at the apartments and make small talk

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Speaker 2: before asking me how to type certain words and make

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Speaker 2: sentences make sense. What I understood, you wouldn't want to

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Speaker 2: ask your son how to respond to a guy. But

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Speaker 2: with my poor English grammar, I struggled to help her

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Speaker 2: every time. Yeah, she's also so one. I guess she

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Speaker 2: doesn't even know how to like. Maybe she's asking for

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Speaker 2: text lingo or that kind of lingo. But to ask

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Speaker 2: the person who has said multiple times I don't really

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Speaker 2: have all of the understandings of English grammar to help

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Speaker 2: you with your English.

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Speaker 1: I don't think this is going very well.

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Speaker 2: These messages were pretty spicy, and sometimes while I'd retype

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Speaker 2: what she was saying, some NSFW pictures would be sent

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Speaker 2: on dating apps. I understanding most of those apps, you

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Speaker 2: can't do that.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't know anything about that. I don't use.

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Speaker 2: Those well all right, then, my final straw was when

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Speaker 2: one sent an egg plant emoji.

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Speaker 1: Not the purple emoji.

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Speaker 2: That was your final straw. I'm sorry they were sending

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Speaker 2: like wiener picks.

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Speaker 1: No, no, this an egg plant emoji. It was the

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Speaker 1: egg plant emoji that really sends it over the line.

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Speaker 1: It's just knit the disrespect als. So I just love

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Speaker 1: pointing out that it's an eggplant because before it's ripe,

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Speaker 1: it looks like a little egg. That's why they call

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Speaker 1: it eggplant. Didn't know that thought, I just assumed you

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Speaker 1: would know that, so you'd know well, so many things, yeah,

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Speaker 1: like not even sarcacts that might have sounded sarcastic. Nicey,

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Speaker 1: I just meant that she's good at crosswords, appreciate.

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Speaker 2: That I needed serious boundaries with this woman and complain

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Speaker 2: to Derek, I was very uncomfortable with certain retyping for

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Speaker 2: his mom. Derek claimed he'd complain about it, but he

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Speaker 2: never did. Derek claimed he isn't a mama's boy, and

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Speaker 2: all men that are become weak and spoiled. Yet he

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Speaker 2: was a huge mama's boy himself, making me pick up dinners.

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Speaker 2: His mom would cook him and take it to his apartment,

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Speaker 2: and his laundry she still did for him. That's incredibly embarrassing.

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Speaker 1: Gotta be able to do your own lundry, laundry.

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Speaker 2: That the thing is like when people don't know how

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Speaker 2: to do their laundry. When you're like, I mean like,

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Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of boys come to college

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Speaker 2: and they don't know how to do laundry. Because I

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Speaker 2: did have to teach a lot of boys in my

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Speaker 2: dorm how to do laundry. But you know, after college,

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Speaker 2: by the time that you lived alone for at least

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Speaker 2: one year, and you still don't know how to do laundry.

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Speaker 2: That's in embarrassing. It is so easy.

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Speaker 1: I know how to do laundry as a cotton sept

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Speaker 1: that's am I the best at it. No, I A

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Speaker 1: lot of times I shrink stuff He's always ask me

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Speaker 1: how I shrink things because I put things in the dryer.

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Speaker 1: You know what, I'm gonna go through the dry.

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Speaker 2: I want to go through your clothes and tell you

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Speaker 2: which ones cannot go in the dryer.

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Speaker 1: This like what you can't? I know this one can't.

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Speaker 1: But like, I just want my clothes to be dry.

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Speaker 1: At some point I will get shirts that are like cotton,

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Speaker 1: and then at some point I'm like, I just don't care.

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Speaker 1: I'm dry. These need to be dried. Trying. I'm drying

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Speaker 1: them on, but that's too much. When I drive them

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Speaker 1: in the air, then they like they get like all

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Speaker 1: weird from the hangar and stuff. And I'm outing myself,

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Speaker 1: but I'm just I My girlfriend has taught me to

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Speaker 1: dry things on delicate only.

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Speaker 2: Yeah you can. You can air dry them in the dryer.

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Speaker 1: Well, I can't run the dryer for seven hours, all right.

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Speaker 2: He refused to eat my cooking half the time and

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Speaker 2: said if I wanted to be a cook one day,

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Speaker 2: then maybe his mom should be my new teacher. You

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Speaker 2: poke fun my heritage and claim maybe French people can't

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Speaker 2: cook with flavors, despite me always having to alter my

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Speaker 2: cooking to less flavor because he claims it's too strong.

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure French people are known for cooking cooking.

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Speaker 1: Have you seen Ratitue? French people are known for their

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Speaker 1: have you seen the documentary Ratitue?

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Speaker 2: Literally even the rats know how.

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Speaker 1: To cook and they can talk. Yep.

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Speaker 2: I decided to set up one of his lively cousins, Stella,

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Speaker 2: to go dancing with Brenda.

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Speaker 1: At first, it worked.

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Speaker 2: Stella to help me with my boundary issue and made

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Speaker 2: Brenda think it was her idea to stop visiting six

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Speaker 2: times a week. Flash forward a year later to my engagement.

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Speaker 2: Brenda was over the moon about it, saying she would

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Speaker 2: finally have a daughter to call her home. Around this time,

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Speaker 2: I included my dad more in the wedding planning and

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Speaker 2: finding something similar to my mother's wedding dress. We have

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Speaker 2: a close bond over our family. My mother passed away

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Speaker 2: young with my little sister when I was eleven in

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Speaker 2: a car accident.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's really awful. Oh.

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Speaker 2: This made my older brother rebel and eventually distance himself

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Speaker 2: from us, leaving just me and my father. My father

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Speaker 2: loved my mother more than anything, Despite him being a

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Speaker 2: stone faced, expressionless type of man. He wanted to be

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Speaker 2: part of the things my mother couldn't be for my wedding,

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Speaker 2: taking her role in all the girly things he said

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Speaker 2: she could have been doing. I've explained to Brenda that

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Speaker 2: planning this wedding is very important to my father, and

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Speaker 2: there were certain things it'd be best we do alone,

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Speaker 2: like find a dress at me with my first dance,

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Speaker 2: some decora in the cake. There were many things me

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Speaker 2: and Derek included his mother in, but she was very

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Speaker 2: frustrated the most intimate moments were not spent with her.

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Speaker 2: About October, after my dress arrived, I invited Brenda over

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Speaker 2: to help me put it on and pick an accessory

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Speaker 2: of her, choosing for my hair since the rest of

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Speaker 2: my jewelry was all my mothers. She picked a pretty

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Speaker 2: air piece and asked me why I'm wearing such old

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Speaker 2: fashioned jewelry like pearls and a sapphire pearl choker. I

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Speaker 2: explained they were my mother's and she instantly looked upset.

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Speaker 1: She then said, don't.

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Speaker 2: Forgot something at home, it's for your dress. Let me

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Speaker 2: be right back. Never came back that night.

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Speaker 1: I gotta go, I'll be right back. I gotta go

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Speaker 1: nowhere and then were you like? Are you? Are you okay?

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Speaker 1: Text like did you just let that go?

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Speaker 2: What happened waiting for you? I told my fiance and

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Speaker 2: he suggested maybe she was jealous and to be quiet

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Speaker 2: about bringing up my mom since it might offend his Immediately,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, uh no, that's incredibly inappropriate of you to

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Speaker 2: tell me not to talk about my mom who passed

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Speaker 2: away because your mom's jealous. Immediately now like, that's so

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Speaker 2: so disrespectful to her memory and also to Opie's relationship

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Speaker 2: with her mom.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you should really stab talking about it. That La

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Speaker 1: woman who was, oh, yeah, your mom.

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Speaker 2: Whose come to my wedding in November. Everything was perfect,

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Speaker 2: just as planned. My father walked me down and I

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Speaker 2: became Missus not real name. When we were celebrating, Derek

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Speaker 2: went to his siblings to chat and I stayed my

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Speaker 2: table to relax. Stella, who was one of my brideessmaids,

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Speaker 2: came up to me and asked me if I'd seen Brenda.

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Speaker 2: She said she was concerned because she saw Brenda hyeing.

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Speaker 1: My dad given him the eyes.

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Speaker 2: They never formally met or had a conversation longer than

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Speaker 2: five minutes, because how quiet and cold. My dad is

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Speaker 2: my father understands a little to no English period, so

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Speaker 2: I worried maybe Brenda was tipsy and angry at them,

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Speaker 2: so I asked Stella to please find her and make

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Speaker 2: sure she causes no issues. When it came thirty minutes

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Speaker 2: before the father daughter danced, I couldn't find my dad.

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Speaker 2: I this is like so unrelated, but I am interested

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Speaker 2: by the fact that you guys don't seem to like

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Speaker 2: you have more of a French roots when you are like,

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Speaker 2: we're coming from Vancouver, because I mean it would usually

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Speaker 2: be Quebec. That was you're probably from originally from Quebec.

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Speaker 1: I got French people over the place of Dame You No.

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Speaker 2: No, no, for sure, but just like that, her father has

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Speaker 2: no understanding of English, when that's just interesting.

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Speaker 1: He's just a French guy. He was born to be French.

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Speaker 2: He said, I don't want to learn anything else.

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Speaker 1: No, thank you, born to be French Canadian's.

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Speaker 2: He's never a late person, and he agreed to meet

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Speaker 2: before our dance. I began to panic and started looking

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Speaker 2: for him, only to hear some yelling from Stella in

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Speaker 2: a crowd. I found Stella holding back Brenda while my

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Speaker 2: dad was backed into a wall. Uncomfortable, Brenda was yelling

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Speaker 2: at Stella to quit being a rooster block. She swore

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Speaker 2: my dad liked her too, and was dropping against the

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Speaker 2: whole wedding planning by the way he looked at her, and.

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Speaker 1: He must just be shy, he says. Do you not know?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I did not speak. I don't know

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Speaker 1: enough French to be a French guy. I've been to

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Speaker 1: France more than me, which is zero times once more

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Speaker 1: with America football.

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Speaker 2: He's flirting with me.

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Speaker 1: He's flirting Jimmy Hendrix. Honestly, though, that might be flirting

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Speaker 1: if you're just fully French, just trying to say American

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Speaker 1: things to someone French flies. Well, I guess they were.

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Speaker 1: They're still in France, I mean Canada. I'm no, they're

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Speaker 1: in the US now. Oh they're in the U. Okay, no,

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Speaker 1: stop it. I don't know French.

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Speaker 2: I took friend to somewhere private and scolded her on

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Speaker 2: how inappropriate that was. That hitting on my dad was

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Speaker 2: major off limits, and them even having that type of

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Speaker 2: relationship would be morbidly disturbing because she's my mother in

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Speaker 2: law and he's my biological dad. She told me that

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Speaker 2: I was now the rooster block and had daddy issues

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Speaker 2: and many issues. She started saying that I was embarrassing her.

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Speaker 2: You're embarrassing yourself, girl.

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Speaker 1: You're honestly, out of all of the people on the

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Speaker 1: face of the planet you could pursue, You're gonna pursue

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Speaker 1: your daughter's husband's father. Yeah, weird, you're gross for that.

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Speaker 1: The other way around, your husband's your husband's dot.

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Speaker 2: These French Canadians got me mixed up to son's wife's

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Speaker 2: fond son's wife's father.

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Speaker 1: You freak go find literally any other man on the planet,

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Speaker 1: any other one.

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Speaker 2: How two adults loving each other are hooking app as normal,

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Speaker 2: and said, maybe I can't see that with my isolated

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Speaker 2: pilgrim Canadian mom. What does that mean? What does that mean?

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Speaker 1: Your isolated Canadian pilgrim mind could never comprehend what I've

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Speaker 1: seen on the internet, which is that this is fine.

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Speaker 2: This is actually fine, because you just don't get it.

253
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Speaker 2: I was extremely insulted and asked her to leave, to

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Speaker 2: take a breather and come back once she's sober, because

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Speaker 2: she was obviously wasted on something. She left angrily, and

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Speaker 2: I apologized to my father. He told me he was

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Speaker 2: sorry for ruining my day, and I told him it's

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Speaker 2: not his fault. He barely understood what even happened, just

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Speaker 2: the weird energy and how.

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Speaker 1: Mad I looked.

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Speaker 2: I explained to him in French what happened. After the party,

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Speaker 2: I complained to my husband about what just happened, and

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Speaker 2: he tells me that he doesn't see the issue with

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Speaker 2: his mother's intentions. And then you divorce.

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Speaker 1: Okay. I don't know if that's divorce level.

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Speaker 2: He doesn't understand the issue, but I.

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Speaker 1: Don't know if that's divorce immediate divorce level.

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Speaker 2: Come on, no one, no, okay, okay. I would have

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Speaker 2: a strongly word conversation. But if he doesn't, if he

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Speaker 2: stands on business that one his mom flirting with her

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Speaker 2: dad is not like incredibly weird and super not okay,

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Speaker 2: but he doesn't understand that. And two, he doesn't understand

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Speaker 2: that her flirting with a man that is not interested

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Speaker 2: and clearly uncomftorable is also not okay. I'd be like,

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Speaker 2: what what are we not understanding?

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Speaker 1: Of course, but she's also heavily intoxicated. Sure, but it's

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Speaker 1: like you gotta you know you're gonna be a little

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Speaker 1: defensive of your own, but yeah, it's not good. It's

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Speaker 1: gonna it has to be a thing where he goes. Yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: that that's really that's not good unless I mean, I

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Speaker 1: guess he comes from that household. Maybe they're just taught.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, it's all in the extended not extended family.

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Speaker 1: That would be bad.

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Speaker 2: Is as long as it's not related.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, in law, more like in love. You know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, But there is a little bit.

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00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,160
Speaker 2: There's a lot more. I looked at him horrified and explained,

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Speaker 2: if our parents got together and got married, then we

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00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:35,160
Speaker 2: were step siblings, and even so our parents hooking up

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Speaker 2: as weird. He said, it's only weird if I think

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Speaker 2: about it like that and I'm closed mind.

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Speaker 1: Like honestly though I kind of agree with him, I

293
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,440
Speaker 1: do kind of agree with him, and I think that

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Speaker 1: it's really it's only as weird as however much power

295
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,160
Speaker 1: you let it have over you. It's like, all like

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Speaker 1: we'd be step siblings. It's like, no, we wouldn't. You'd

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Speaker 1: be my wife, that we wouldn't be. That's crazy that

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Speaker 1: you would put that above us being.

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Speaker 2: Married mom started dating your girlfriend's dad, you would not.

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Speaker 1: Be weirded out? Are they both single. Yeah, they're okay.

301
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:11,920
Speaker 1: I'd be like, well, that's weird. But I wouldn't be

302
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Speaker 1: like and it's the earth shattering revelation and I'm contemplating divorce.

303
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,160
Speaker 1: I'd be like, I'm well, what are we gonna do?

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00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:22,480
Speaker 1: They're two consenting adults like that. I think you have

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00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,160
Speaker 1: a point. The bigger problem here is that my drunken

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Speaker 1: mother is like harassing this poor frenchman.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no, no.

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Speaker 1: That's really the more of the problem in anything is

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00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,720
Speaker 1: just being like, this is the nude She was really

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Speaker 1: bothering him.

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Speaker 2: He fully believes his mom did nothing wrong, and my

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00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,840
Speaker 2: dad and me are closed minded. Now I'm saying, your

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00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,760
Speaker 2: dad's closed mind, it's crazy. So your dad's closed minded

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Speaker 2: for not being intacted to my mom.

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Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you dad what my mom and me? See

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Speaker 1: her hot piece as he been drinking to think.

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Speaker 2: And says, we just can't get over the loss of

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Speaker 2: my mom and sister and nessa learned all right.

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Speaker 1: Now, I'm starting to think divorces on the table. You're

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Speaker 1: bringing that into.

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Speaker 2: This offended, I get out of the car and uber

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Speaker 2: myself home.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy. I'm sorry bringing up your passed away your

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Speaker 1: mother and yeah, sister who passed away in a car accident,

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Speaker 1: as the reasoning.

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Speaker 2: To why her dad isn't attracted to his mom.

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00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:33,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, now that she's just a drunken mess by what That.

328
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:35,880
Speaker 2: Night, Brenda calls me only to tell me off and

329
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Speaker 2: say I'm the reason my father's a proud widow. She

330
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,040
Speaker 2: called me a bunch of names I won't repeat, but

331
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:44,960
Speaker 2: one of them was daddy's loving effing salute. She said

332
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,440
Speaker 2: it was normal that no woman could resist a man

333
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,680
Speaker 2: that looks like that, you little weirdo.

334
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:53,320
Speaker 1: But again, it has nothing to do with if your

335
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,280
Speaker 1: mom is into him. It's like it's just a it's

336
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,320
Speaker 1: not recipronating.

337
00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:01,360
Speaker 2: Harassing this man, leave him hello. I hung up and

338
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:04,439
Speaker 2: felt gross. My father was a very sculpted man, and

339
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,160
Speaker 2: I'd say it was averagely handsome. He looks like a young,

340
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,240
Speaker 2: loose girrel with stubble and pretty layered hair with a

341
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,480
Speaker 2: small mullet. He wears a ponytail or a bun every

342
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:16,280
Speaker 2: day and has green eye. And he's fret.

343
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:22,359
Speaker 1: I don't know ponytail oil. He wears a but he

344
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:27,960
Speaker 1: wears a ponytail every day. Speak about ponytail every day?

345
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:35,920
Speaker 1: It's ponytail man every day, and you ponytail. I've never

346
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,280
Speaker 1: seen a dude pull off a ponytail without it being

347
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:39,480
Speaker 1: like ponytail all the time.

348
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,440
Speaker 2: Huh, John wears a ponytail all the time.

349
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,960
Speaker 1: Aun, I haven't seen him wear a pony Well, he's

350
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,840
Speaker 1: just like a little bun. He doesn't wear a ponytail

351
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:47,160
Speaker 1: all the time.

352
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,080
Speaker 2: He lets that he wears a little bun.

353
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,040
Speaker 1: I didn't say bun.

354
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:54,879
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, I say ponytail. You know what? What about it?

355
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,919
Speaker 1: Like you let your hair dry or something like?

356
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,320
Speaker 2: Have you seen Chartered Planet?

357
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,440
Speaker 1: That man is a cartoon and he is the exception.

358
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:05,840
Speaker 1: But he is a card too, as I know, I

359
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:09,240
Speaker 1: have ever seen a person pull that off.

360
00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:11,600
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm gonna find someone. What was his name?

361
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,199
Speaker 1: Glynn Ryder? No, that's the guy from Tanae.

362
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:15,400
Speaker 2: You think of Jim Hoggins.

363
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:19,480
Speaker 1: Dude that Ooh, I gotta watch that, gotta watch that

364
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:20,040
Speaker 1: to night now.

365
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too. We only look alike with the brown hair,

366
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,200
Speaker 2: eye shape and eyebrows, Brenda said before when she first

367
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,600
Speaker 2: met my dad that minus the eye color and nose,

368
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,040
Speaker 2: my dad and I looked very alike. So this situation

369
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,879
Speaker 2: made me think of that memory more. In disgust, I

370
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,760
Speaker 2: ended up moving some of my stuff with Stella and

371
00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:39,359
Speaker 2: said I needed to be away from my husband because

372
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:42,040
Speaker 2: I just felt disturbed on how easily he takes his

373
00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:44,600
Speaker 2: mom's side, on having the same point of view of

374
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,119
Speaker 2: her wanting to get with my dad. You demanded that

375
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,840
Speaker 2: I apologize, and the only person who ruined my wedding

376
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:53,120
Speaker 2: was me than I'm closed minded and I just don't

377
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,919
Speaker 2: understand because I have such a small family. I've gotten

378
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:59,639
Speaker 2: several calls and texts from his siblings calling me selfish

379
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:03,200
Speaker 2: and manning I apologize, claiming I'm a bride Silla. There

380
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,480
Speaker 2: is a little bit left to this story.

381
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:11,000
Speaker 1: I will say it. I do kind of like he's wrong, yeah,

382
00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:12,639
Speaker 1: or no, wait.

383
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,760
Speaker 2: Brenda, Brenda and the husband.

384
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:18,240
Speaker 1: Who's the one with the mom husband, he's wrong, Yes,

385
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,360
Speaker 1: his mom was in the wrong, that guy, and that

386
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,879
Speaker 1: is first of all, not the time or place to

387
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:28,960
Speaker 1: pursue your your Yeah, that is not the time or

388
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:33,760
Speaker 1: place for that. However, However, there is nothing inherently like

389
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:38,320
Speaker 1: wrong with that happening organically, naturally, if two people are

390
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:42,320
Speaker 1: into each other, I don't think it should be technically stepsip, Yeah, well,

391
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,600
Speaker 1: you didn't grow up together. You became step siblings. If

392
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,920
Speaker 1: he became married. That's not even It's like it overwrites it.

393
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,359
Speaker 1: It does not count. You are not step siblings, you

394
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,320
Speaker 1: are married.

395
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,639
Speaker 2: I agree with that point, but I still would be like,

396
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:55,399
Speaker 2: please don't do that.

397
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:59,000
Speaker 1: Parents right, and I would as well. I would also

398
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:03,000
Speaker 1: do that. But you can't be like no. And also,

399
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:05,960
Speaker 1: if you don't think that's weird, I'm divorcing you, but

400
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:11,400
Speaker 1: you should all of this, every other layer of this. Yeah,

401
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:15,440
Speaker 1: divorce take all take that layer away. Everything else is horrific. Yeah,

402
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:16,640
Speaker 1: you can bring up your mom.

403
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my no, I sorified over.

404
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,360
Speaker 1: You've announced you are on day one of marriage.

405
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you already ruand it you are.

406
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:27,159
Speaker 1: That is you. You have a window into exactly what

407
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,919
Speaker 1: you're going to be looking at for the rest of

408
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,240
Speaker 1: your marriage, for the rest of your life. So I

409
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:32,639
Speaker 1: get that annulled immediately.

410
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,399
Speaker 2: I currently live with his cousin Stella as a roommate,

411
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,200
Speaker 2: and she has become my best friend. She even happily

412
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:40,880
Speaker 2: delivered the divorce papers four weeks after the incident.

413
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,320
Speaker 1: Yes, hek, yeah, I.

414
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,919
Speaker 2: Thought i'd share this. Twenty three disaster and Hopefully my

415
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,879
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four is much brighter. Despite this, it's lonely

416
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,240
Speaker 2: without the man who felt at first as my player

417
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 2: two to my player one in the game of life. Okay,

418
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,760
Speaker 2: I just couldn't bring myself to face him anymore.

419
00:20:55,240 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 1: She's okay, Nerd, okay, nerd, nerd after but that was

420
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,479
Speaker 1: no say it was sweet, it was sure is sweet.

421
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:07,880
Speaker 1: But he sucked. Yeah. But still, but your controller.

422
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 2: Is gone, it's passed away.

423
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, that controller is faulty. That controller was faulty. Yeah,

424
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,280
Speaker 1: that was a mad pat's controller. That that was the

425
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,720
Speaker 1: third party BS control.

426
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:21,000
Speaker 2: Every time you tried to play fencing on we sports resort,

427
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 2: you would always win because his controller was just whack.

428
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,240
Speaker 1: Is that a lived experience? Yeah?

429
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, my controller never worked. It's so hard to play

430
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 2: your it doesn't work. I just couldn't bring myself to

431
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,320
Speaker 2: face him anymore after reflecting on his toxic behavior and

432
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,000
Speaker 2: knowing I don't just marry a man, I marry the family.

433
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 2: Well you do just marry a man unless you marry

434
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,399
Speaker 2: a man who's like I support my mom saying that

435
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,879
Speaker 2: she's okay in harassing your NADU and also I support

436
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:50,400
Speaker 2: my mom, which he like in.

437
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:54,680
Speaker 1: Solo in laws, come here, come here at lass. If

438
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:59,360
Speaker 1: you realize that you are in love with your child's

439
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,080
Speaker 1: partners parent, you need to keep that on the d

440
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:06,000
Speaker 1: L if you are into them, and most importantly, they

441
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 1: need to be into you or there's nothing in there.

442
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:15,159
Speaker 1: So don't go and literally badger this person at your

443
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 1: child's wedding at the time, at the time, nor the place.

444
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, agreed, is the DL situation so true? Well b

445
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 2: continues today. Me and Stella move four states away, and

446
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,639
Speaker 2: I'm Stella's current maid of honor for her twenty twenty

447
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,560
Speaker 2: five wedding, and I'm happily single till I find someone

448
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:36,360
Speaker 2: with their crap together and that's the end of that story.

449
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, that guy sucks, add some twists and turns on.

450
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 2: It way, but we've got another one coming right up.

451
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,960
Speaker 1: My husband's family banned me from the funeral, and now

452
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 1: they're saying I'm controlling him.

453
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:51,200
Speaker 2: What do you think I am? Some kind of hypnotists?

454
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,919
Speaker 1: I twenty two female, am very conflicted and honestly just

455
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 1: need to get someone else's perspective in order to stop

456
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 1: being so worried about my spouse. Twenty two. Recently, my

457
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 1: spouse's great grandfather passed away significantly less fun than Sorry,

458
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 1: a bit about hypnotism. My spouse is very emotional man.

459
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:10,560
Speaker 1: He doesn't like to be away from me for long

460
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 1: periods of time. We have the husband and wife typical dynamic.

461
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 1: I work part time and stay home while he works

462
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 1: full time and pays most of the bills. This was

463
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 1: something he dreamed of. By the way, this comes from

464
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 1: user unlucky Donut sixty six seven eight. And if you

465
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 1: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

466
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,560
Speaker 1: slash Okay storytime sub reddit. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, and

467
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 1: we are here to give you good advice goofily, but

468
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: we don't have all the answers, so if you do

469
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 1: something else, you do something different, let us know in

470
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 1: the comments. But be nice to each other, please, and

471
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 1: Op says he has insisted on bringing me to all

472
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 1: of the events involving the passing because I'm apparently his

473
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 1: form of emotional support, which is really not fair, really

474
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 1: quickly right away, not fair at all to you for.

475
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 2: Want to make your partner your like full emotional you

476
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 2: know you don't want to like unload all of that

477
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,119
Speaker 2: onto one person. Yeah, what are is like a you know,

478
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,360
Speaker 2: like a semblance. There is a part of a relationship

479
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 2: where you do want to like talk about your emotions

480
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,399
Speaker 2: and like you lean on your partner, but just don't

481
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 2: ever you never want to put all of that into someone.

482
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't that doesn't feel right. Well, apparently his

483
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 1: mother and grandmother do not like this very much. They're

484
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 1: upset with me for moving in with him and being

485
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,639
Speaker 1: with him in general. I've not met these women much

486
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 1: because they've refused to come near me. For the most part. However,

487
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 1: my spouse's feelings are much more important to me.

488
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 2: Well, I guess, I guess maybe Ope was just saying

489
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 2: I'm an emotional support and maybe not saying that he

490
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 2: was putting all of it on.

491
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 1: I think that it's I think.

492
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,480
Speaker 2: Maybe yeah, I think Ope was just saying they were

493
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 2: I thought they were saying like that is a bad thing,

494
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:40,919
Speaker 2: but it seems like they were just like, yeah, I

495
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:41,919
Speaker 2: provide emotional support.

496
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,479
Speaker 1: Well, I know, I just mean that like bring like

497
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:48,360
Speaker 1: if you're uncomfortable as a partner, like going to all

498
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,159
Speaker 1: of these events for the passing of like the great grandfather,

499
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,879
Speaker 1: I think that should be okay. I think you should

500
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 1: be like I'm not actually going to go to every

501
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,800
Speaker 1: event for this. I think that's fair, But I don't

502
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 1: think that's what my problem.

503
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 3: Oh.

504
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,399
Speaker 1: I thought, not that she was the emotional support, just

505
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:05,640
Speaker 1: that it was like there's no room for her to

506
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 1: just be like, hey, this is a little too much

507
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:09,639
Speaker 1: for me, honestly, and you and your family are going

508
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 1: through a lot, and I get that, but like, yeah,

509
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 1: I can't well, yeah, I can't be at every single thing,

510
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 1: That's what I was saying.

511
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,679
Speaker 2: It just doesn't seem like that was necessarily what's happening.

512
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:20,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, especially when it definitely also sounds like these the

513
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 1: women of this family don't like you. Yeah. We were

514
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,959
Speaker 1: at the house where his great grandfather passed, giving our

515
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,880
Speaker 1: condolences to his now widowed wife. My spouse walked into

516
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 1: the kitchen and his grandmother followed him to talk about

517
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,959
Speaker 1: the service. A while later, I walked in there to

518
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,280
Speaker 1: ask him for my phone out of his pocket so

519
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,680
Speaker 1: I could check on some things involving school, as I'm

520
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 1: in college right now. And when I walked in there,

521
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,880
Speaker 1: his grandmother told me before I said a word, can't

522
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,440
Speaker 1: you just let me have a private conversation with my grandson?

523
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:51,360
Speaker 2: Gets you could have just said, hey, having a private

524
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,159
Speaker 2: conversation with my grandson.

525
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would have worked too. I left and all

526
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 1: I said was, you could have just asked me to leave.

527
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. There were witnesses present to this, including my spouse.

528
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,040
Speaker 1: On Tuesday, my spouse and I got invited to lunch

529
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 1: with his aunt and his widowed great grandmother. She apologized

530
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:09,439
Speaker 1: to me for the way her daughter lashed out at

531
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 1: me at the house, as after the encounter, she left

532
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,439
Speaker 1: and called me many inappropriate names. During the lunch, his

533
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 1: great grandmother told him she specifically wanted us both to

534
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,160
Speaker 1: come to a family dinner in honor of his great

535
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:25,119
Speaker 1: grandfather's passing on Monday. Now, his cousin called him today

536
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 1: and told him he shouldn't bring me. Told me over

537
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,439
Speaker 1: the phone that I needed to just stay home and

538
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,200
Speaker 1: keep the peace. When my husband tried to tell him

539
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 1: that he wanted me there so he could feel safer emotionally,

540
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,959
Speaker 1: his cousin told him, well, buddy, you're a man, you

541
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 1: can tough it out. I won't lie. That pissed me off.

542
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 1: It hurt my spouse a lot too, So my spouse

543
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,159
Speaker 1: no longer wants to go to the family dinner. He

544
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 1: is hurt and he doesn't want to grieve without me there.

545
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 1: I told him if he still wanted to go, that

546
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:55,919
Speaker 1: I was okay with staying home to keep the peace

547
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:58,800
Speaker 1: so he could be with his family during this grief.

548
00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:00,400
Speaker 1: He doesn't want to go own.

549
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,520
Speaker 2: Hell though, well then that's fair that he shouldn't have

550
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 2: to go. If they won't let him bring someone who's

551
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,920
Speaker 2: providing him emotional support, then I would be like, okay,

552
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 2: well then you know, and I don't think I'm able

553
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:10,399
Speaker 2: to go.

554
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,480
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, if you're supportive of this and you

555
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:14,960
Speaker 1: don't feel like you're being back to into the quarter,

556
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 1: I see no problem with that. Yeah, but uh, I

557
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 1: do part of me feels like for this kind of thing, though,

558
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,439
Speaker 1: it's like you do like there has to be some

559
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,879
Speaker 1: level of like. I'm sure that was very callous the

560
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 1: way the cousin said that, but there does have to

561
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,679
Speaker 1: be some level of like you should be able to

562
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,120
Speaker 1: I don't know how to say this right. Clearly, these

563
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 1: people are like hostile towards your river, So do you

564
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,639
Speaker 1: have to be able to weigh the scale of like,

565
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:42,159
Speaker 1: do I want my partner to feel like they're being attacked?

566
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:46,520
Speaker 1: You know, or belittled or talked about behind their back constantly,

567
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:49,640
Speaker 1: or you know, and like feel like, I it's gonna

568
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 1: be harder for me to go, like deal with it,

569
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 1: or like do I go without her and spare her

570
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,919
Speaker 1: from that? But now it's you know, I don't know.

571
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 1: I feel like there is a calculus there eyes to do.

572
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, but don't go it all honestly, if

573
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 2: they say that.

574
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a lot of moving parts to this. Already,

575
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 1: his family thinks I'm forcing him not to go, and

576
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:12,239
Speaker 1: he's tried explaining that it was his decision, but they

577
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 1: won't believe him. Yeah. Really, the people forcing you not

578
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 1: to go are THEMN or I guess his grandmother mostly. Yeah,

579
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 1: and now the cousin's getting in there being like, oh, well,

580
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,679
Speaker 1: because she said this and that and the other, like

581
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 1: she's shooting come. Yeah, So it's really the cousin the

582
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:30,159
Speaker 1: grandma's fault. My husband has never had the best relationship

583
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: with his mother or grandmother. Before we started dating, he

584
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 1: was looking into moving and cutting them both off. But

585
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 1: he's trying to keep contact with his great grandmother. He

586
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 1: doesn't want to ask her to keep her daughter and

587
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 1: granddaughter away, so He's trying to put up with them

588
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 1: as long as she's around so she can have peaceful

589
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 1: family outings. However, after his grandmother's outburst and after the

590
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 1: comments his cousin made, he doesn't want to tough it

591
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 1: out anymore. He says he can't stand the comments his

592
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 1: cousin made. He doesn't want to tough it out any longer.

593
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 1: He says he can't stand how they treat him and

594
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 1: that it makes him angry that they treat me the

595
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 1: way they do as well. I'm worried about him missing

596
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 1: the opportunity to be there for his great grandmother. Usually

597
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 1: I encourage him to at least try to talk to

598
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 1: them so he can stay in the loop of what's

599
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 1: going on with her health. However, after the way they've

600
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 1: treated us both, he has refused to talk to them

601
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 1: at all. I've stopped trying to get him to as

602
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 1: well because it doesn't seem to be working. Approaching them

603
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 1: with kindness was the approach we decided to try, and honestly,

604
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 1: it seemed to just make things worse. He doesn't want

605
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 1: to go, and his family thinks I'm making him stay

606
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 1: with me. I kind of feel like an a hole

607
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 1: for even being involved.

608
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 2: You just are existing. Yeah, don't feel like an ale,

609
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 2: You're literally just existing. His family sucks and he's being

610
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 2: pulled in, you know, five different directions, all while reading

611
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 2: a loss. So I feel like, you know, at this point,

612
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 2: he just needs to go to them and say, you

613
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 2: know what, I don't really care what you guys think.

614
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 2: I'm not coming because of your behavior. It's not my

615
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 2: wife's decision, right If you want to believe whatever, you

616
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,240
Speaker 2: want to believe whatever, but I won't be there.

617
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, and let them know how it's pushing you away

618
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 1: from them. The way that you are approaching my spouse

619
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 1: and not listening to me is pushing me away from

620
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,560
Speaker 1: you even further. Hey is John Ojihost. We're gonna get

621
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 1: back to the stories, but a quick freemanute break of

622
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,719
Speaker 1: ads from our sponsors. I understand that everyone is upset

623
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 1: and grieving, but my spouse is overwhelmed and hurting too.

624
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 1: He wants to grieve where he is comfortable, and I

625
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 1: am trying to respect that and not push him anymore.

626
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 1: The reason I feel bad is because of his great grandmother.

627
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: She is a very kind woman. They were together for

628
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 1: a long time. I know she has to be hurting

629
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 1: so much, and she wanted us there so badly. My

630
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 1: husband fully refuses to go if he can't take me

631
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 1: with him. I don't really know how to handle this situation.

632
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be empathetic and put myself in the

633
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,680
Speaker 1: shoes of his family, but it gets really hard when

634
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 1: you're being put down constantly by the ones you're trying

635
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 1: to be nice to. I still haven't said anything mean

636
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 1: or rude to them, and I won't because I refuse

637
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,400
Speaker 1: to stoop that low. I just feel so bad for

638
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 1: his great grandmother and for him, and he has my

639
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 1: full support no matter what. This man is my rock

640
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 1: and is then with me through thick and thin. He's

641
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 1: overwhelmed and tired and wants me there for him, then

642
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 1: nobody is stopping me from doing that. I'm honestly probably

643
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:10,000
Speaker 1: just not going to get involved after this point and

644
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 1: no longer encourage my husband to talk to those parts

645
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 1: of his family for the sake of someone else. As

646
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 1: much as I love his great grandmother, I will not

647
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 1: watch him fall apart for someone else's sake. I do

648
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 1: feel like a bit of an a hole to her, though.

649
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 1: I just wish there was a way to actually make

650
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 1: peace like he originally wanted to do, but nothing has

651
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: ever worked. Am I the a hole for giving up

652
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 1: on encouraging him to make peace? There is an update?

653
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 2: You can't do anything, Like the one thing is you're

654
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 2: not doing anything wrong. They are attacking you, guys for

655
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 2: whatever reason. You have tried to, you know, fix that relationship.

656
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 2: They're not willing to do that, and therefore I don't

657
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 2: think that you should actively antagonize them. But just like

658
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 2: kind of internalizing that it's not your fault. There's really

659
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 2: nothing that you can do. There's nothing that he can do,

660
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 2: So like, how do we make peace for ourselves?

661
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 1: I don't know about that. I wouldn't say anyone here's

662
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 1: an a whole except for like you know, members of

663
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 1: the family that are ostracizing you and closing all of

664
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,720
Speaker 1: this undue stress upon him. Yes, but it is unfortunate

665
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:09,520
Speaker 1: that he can't see that just going without you at

666
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 1: this point would be the solution that would bring the

667
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 1: most peace to you, and that ends to his great

668
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 1: grandmother and the only you know, the only thing stopped

669
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 1: him from doing that is that he would have to

670
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 1: spend a you know, a day without you there as

671
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 1: his emotional support, just like within your physical proximity, because

672
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 1: you know your phone call away, you're a text message away,

673
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,239
Speaker 1: you're a hey, i'm overwhelmed, let me talk to you

674
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 1: for five minutes. It's unfortunate that he cannot make that call,

675
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 1: and that it seems like even you pushing him to

676
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 1: make that call, he refuses to do it. So you're

677
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 1: just stuck in this position of li Well, I feel

678
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 1: like I'm the bad guy now no matter what. Yeah,

679
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:49,120
Speaker 1: So I won't call him an a hole for that,

680
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 1: because he's clearly he's grieving. There's a lot going on.

681
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: He's never had a great relationship with his mom and

682
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 1: his grandma. But it does it does suck that he can't.

683
00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 1: It does suck that he can't just make that call.

684
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 1: We do an update for anyone who was reading this.

685
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 1: We ended up missing the funeral. Spouse claims that he

686
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 1: set an alarm but missed it. I'm assuming he just

687
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 1: didn't want to go, like he tried explaining before, and

688
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 1: was looking for a way out. That's really unfortunate, and

689
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:15,920
Speaker 1: I think you've got to press him on that. It's

690
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 1: a tricky thing to press someone on, though, but it's

691
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 1: like that kind of behavior will snowball and snowball over time,

692
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 1: because y'all are both young. He's twenty two, you're in

693
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 1: your early twenties, so young. If he continues to treat

694
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 1: these kinds of situations and problems as something that can

695
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 1: just be you know, you don't acknowledge it, or you

696
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 1: just ignore it, or you run away from it, you're

697
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 1: looking at that for the rest of your life. Now.

698
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 2: No, I think a lot of this is because he

699
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 2: is so young, and hopefully he learns from that.

700
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, so he's always been a firefighter, a mechanic, or paramedic.

701
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: What wait, what is he twenty two? Whoa, yeah he is? Okay, Wow, Anyways,

702
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:53,960
Speaker 1: pivoting here, My spouse has always been either a firefighter, mechanic,

703
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 1: or paramedic. We live where Hurricane Helene hit and we

704
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 1: hadn't moved in together yet when the hurricane happened. He

705
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 1: was stuck there for two weeks, barely having enough supplies

706
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 1: to survive due to conditions and having to help the

707
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 1: public too. Ever, since this happened, he hasn't wanted to

708
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 1: go back. He just doesn't like it. I think he

709
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 1: has a small case of PTSD forming because of it.

710
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,239
Speaker 1: He gets freaked out when it rains. It sounds like

711
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 1: he's got it. His mother, without asking him, invited the

712
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:21,320
Speaker 1: entire fire department he was with to the funeral, knowing

713
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,320
Speaker 1: he hasn't been comfortable going around them. He's pissed because

714
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,879
Speaker 1: they also invited his best friend. His best friend called

715
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:29,399
Speaker 1: him after the funeral, telling him everyone was pissed off

716
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 1: at him, which is kind of fair. I'm not gonna lie.

717
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 1: I mean, it's if you're if you're gonna make the

718
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 1: choice to. I mean, I know you said you set

719
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,840
Speaker 1: the alarm and use up through it, but let's be honest.

720
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:40,799
Speaker 1: If you're gonna miss the funeral, you have to deal

721
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 1: with the repercussions of people not being happy about it.

722
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:44,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you knew that was gonna happen. I guess.

723
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 1: They continued to ask him if he could come to

724
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:50,319
Speaker 1: the family dinner that was yesterday after the funeral. There

725
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,359
Speaker 1: were two, one the day before and one the day of,

726
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:54,239
Speaker 1: and at first he was gonna go, but his best

727
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 1: friend told him not to bring me. Reminder, I have

728
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 1: done nothing to these people.

729
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,640
Speaker 2: He literally just exists.

730
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:00,879
Speaker 1: Right.

731
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:05,160
Speaker 2: It feels like all of Opie's partners are Opie's husband's

732
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 2: choices have been all these things that his family doesn't like,

733
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 2: and op just exists, and instead of blaming them on

734
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:12,359
Speaker 2: the husband, they blame it on Ope.

735
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 1: Right, And I don't think it's Opie's fault at all.

736
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:17,919
Speaker 1: I also don't really think it's the husband's fault either.

737
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 1: I just think that clearly there are a handful of

738
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 1: people in his family that he already is like, I

739
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 1: only have a connection with these people so I can

740
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 1: bring peace to my great grandma. Yeah, I think you

741
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 1: go without. Ope, you go without, and you're like, hey, whatever,

742
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 1: she's not here. I'm here for the dinner. I don't

743
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 1: have to really care about these people's thoughts or opinions

744
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 1: about her. Of course, if they're gonna like bad mouth

745
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 1: her at the dinner, you stand up for your partner.

746
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 1: But I think that in an attempt to sort of

747
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:50,680
Speaker 1: make this smoother, you're actually making it more abrasive.

748
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

749
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 1: By avoiding and not going to these events, it's not

750
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:58,400
Speaker 1: something that's ever gonna go away. And now instead of

751
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 1: it just being like, oh, well, they just don't like

752
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 1: my spouse for no reason, they're gonna be like, yeah,

753
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,560
Speaker 1: we don't like her because she's the reason you skip

754
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 1: the funeral because she's the reason you didn't come to

755
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 1: the dinner one of the reasons that he did this.

756
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that it's nothing to do with her, And

757
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 2: you can tell them over and over that's me.

758
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:14,880
Speaker 1: I chose to do that, not her, but they'll go

759
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,520
Speaker 1: the only reason you chose to do that is because

760
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 1: of her.

761
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a frustrating position to put opn right.

762
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 1: So, yeah, it's unfortunate. My spouse has been trying to

763
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 1: get away from his mother and his grandma since he

764
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 1: was in his teens. His mom continuously coached him into

765
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,239
Speaker 1: believing he couldn't afford to live on his own when

766
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:35,720
Speaker 1: he works for RTS he drives ambulances for a living.

767
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 1: He was going to move in before me and wait

768
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 1: till we got legally married to move me in with him,

769
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 1: But before he went to the complex, he picked me

770
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 1: up and told me he wanted me to go ahead

771
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:45,759
Speaker 1: and go with him. I've just been here holding him,

772
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 1: hugging him, and being there as much as he needs

773
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,360
Speaker 1: while he wiggles his way out of his toxic family.

774
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 1: I know this isn't a thread for venting, but I

775
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 1: hope it's okay, since this is an update. I refuse

776
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:57,360
Speaker 1: to be selfish and talk about my feelings towards all

777
00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 1: of it until it's resolved and he can rest easy

778
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:02,720
Speaker 1: it's handled and over, because I don't want to stress

779
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 1: him out even more worrying about my feelings as well.

780
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:08,400
Speaker 1: But I'm so exhausted. I wouldn't change anything even if

781
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 1: I could, though I love him with you wouldn't change

782
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:12,320
Speaker 1: anything even if you could, Like you would change a

783
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,040
Speaker 1: couple of things, you can it. Look, it's okay for

784
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 1: things not to be perfect all the time, and it's

785
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:19,279
Speaker 1: okay to want to change things in hindsight. You know,

786
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,920
Speaker 1: in hindsight, I would have wished he would have gone

787
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:23,839
Speaker 1: to the funeral, and I would wish that your cousin

788
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 1: wouldn't have said anything so then that this wouldn't have

789
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:27,839
Speaker 1: snowballed into what it is.

790
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 2: A lot of things but it could have changed, make

791
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 2: this a little bit better.

792
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:34,200
Speaker 1: I wouldn't change anything about how y'all feel about each other. Yeah,

793
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 1: I love him with all that I am. I just

794
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 1: got to get the anger of the situation off my

795
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 1: chest before I explode. His family insists on believing I'm

796
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:43,879
Speaker 1: forcing him not to talk to them. They even got

797
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 1: the chief of the fire department to call him Saturday.

798
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 1: We are now obligated to go to the fire department

799
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 1: in order for him to at least keep his rank

800
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 1: as a firefighter because he hasn't been there in a

801
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:56,080
Speaker 1: good while. It wasn't a concern that the chief had

802
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 1: because him and my spouse were friends, until after my

803
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 1: spouse's mother decided to talk some crap about the situation.

804
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 2: Well in that case, I mean, like, he goes to

805
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 2: the fire station says, hey, this is what's been going on.

806
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 2: I have a rocky relationship with my family. And there

807
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:09,400
Speaker 2: you go.

808
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: I think what needs to really happen. He needs to

809
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 1: go to the chief, he needs to go to the

810
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 1: fire department. But I need mention this, John say, I

811
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:18,360
Speaker 1: need mental health resources. I need help. Yeah, because you

812
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:21,280
Speaker 1: can't do this job anymore. Yeah, well, after what happened,

813
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 1: I need help. Yeah. I'm not okay. The rain is

814
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:28,920
Speaker 1: freaking me out. I'm not okay. And there you know,

815
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 1: there can be a lot of stigma in jobs like firefighting.

816
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 2: There is. I actually know because I did and I

817
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 2: did a podcast series on mental health firefighting, and they're like,

818
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 2: it is one of the most stigmatized against mental health.

819
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:42,840
Speaker 1: Yeah.

820
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's a huge stigma against receiving any sort

821
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:48,319
Speaker 2: of therapy in firefighting.

822
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 1: But hopefully to cheats your friend, you know you can

823
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 1: get But yeah, it might come time where it's like,

824
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:53,840
Speaker 1: I just this is not You're gonna have to pivot.

825
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 1: I have an entire family of people who hate my guts,

826
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 1: including the ones who didn't hate me before. They think

827
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 1: I coached him into saying home, into not talking to them,

828
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:03,840
Speaker 1: and into leaving his home. He tried telling them to

829
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,440
Speaker 1: their faces in person that it wasn't me, and they

830
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,959
Speaker 1: do not believe him at all. The most frustrating part

831
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:10,880
Speaker 1: is that I know it's kind of my fault for

832
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,760
Speaker 1: encouraging him to try and make peace in the first place.

833
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 1: It's not your fault, not really fault. It's not really

834
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 1: your fault. We've got a little bit more story left.

835
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:21,839
Speaker 1: But I hate that OPI feels so guilty, yeah.

836
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 3: For literally doing nothing wrong, being like, hey, I want

837
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:25,839
Speaker 3: you to make peace with your family, and then they

838
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 3: blame her. And then she says, oh, maybe you should

839
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 3: go to the bueral, and he doesn't go, and they

840
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 3: blame her. It's just like so I think Also, Op

841
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:34,279
Speaker 3: said like, I don't know how to get all this

842
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 3: anger off my chest. You're providing a lot of emotional

843
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,720
Speaker 3: support for your husband. Are you receiving that emotional support?

844
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,799
Speaker 1: Yes, you know. I don't want to make it a

845
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:46,320
Speaker 1: red flag, but he's just going through a lot right now.

846
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,240
Speaker 1: But it's it's something to watch out for. You can't.

847
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 1: You can't take all that your problems by ignoring them. Yeah,

848
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 1: and once a moment passes gone, you can't go back

849
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:00,800
Speaker 1: to the funeral. It's over forever.

850
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 2: You know.

851
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 1: You could look at that as an opportunity. You get

852
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 1: an opportunity to go to that funeral, and no opportunity

853
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 1: is gone, and it's gone because he just was like,

854
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,800
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna ignore it. I'm just gonna not Oops.

855
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:12,920
Speaker 1: I slept through my alarm.

856
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 2: I don't want to deal with it.

857
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. On another note, we are going to go to

858
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 1: the courthouse and get legally married in a couple of months,

859
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 1: after this last end of the drama is handled and

860
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 1: the family members he still wanted to talk to have

861
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 1: stopped being pissed at him and me, he plans on

862
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 1: cutting off everyone else. I was very against this for

863
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 1: a long time, because you know the mindset, that's your parents,

864
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 1: that's your grandparents. You have to like them, their family.

865
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,719
Speaker 1: But I told him I wasn't against it anymore. I

866
00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 1: can understand why he wants to do it now, and

867
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,800
Speaker 1: I'm ready to have this whole situation over with. PS.

868
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:43,680
Speaker 1: They told my husband that no one was allowed to

869
00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:46,000
Speaker 1: bring their partner, and he checked the ring cameras at

870
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 1: his grandparents' house and saw everyone's partners were there.

871
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,239
Speaker 2: What did they expect? What happened when he showed up?

872
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 1: Yeah? If honestly, if you see now, there's something you

873
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 1: could have done. If they had told me that or

874
00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 1: told you that, and you show up and everyone's partner

875
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 1: is there, you just eat. Then you go, hey, I

876
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:05,040
Speaker 1: try my best. You all lied to me. And you

877
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 1: know what, even if you all hate my spouse's guts,

878
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:11,840
Speaker 1: the least you could do is just be civil for

879
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:16,920
Speaker 1: one year. Funeral come one night. You could just not

880
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 1: make the entire family thinking about how much they hate

881
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:21,360
Speaker 1: my wife.

882
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, figure it out, you're all adults, figure it out.

883
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 1: Unbelievable. They just didn't want him to bring me because

884
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,840
Speaker 1: the whole family things. I have him locked up with

885
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 1: a ball in chain in a freaking cage for some

886
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,360
Speaker 1: reason when all I do is literally cook and clean.

887
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 1: I'm currently working on getting a degree so I can

888
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 1: do a little more than just sit at our house

889
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 1: cleaning and cooking every day. And that is the end

890
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,719
Speaker 1: of that story. And you know, I remember you saying

891
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:45,480
Speaker 1: at the beginning that it was his dream to kind

892
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:47,919
Speaker 1: of have him be the provider and you be at home,

893
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:51,400
Speaker 1: so that might be another roaduecross. I hope he's supportive

894
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:51,759
Speaker 1: of that.

895
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 2: And also, I mean, like, you're not a mother yet,

896
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 2: so I think pursue your dreams while you like being

897
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 2: a stay home mom is a very valid pursuit and stuff.

898
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 2: But like, make sure before you're a parent that you're

899
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 2: pursuing the dreams when you have that time, and don't

900
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 2: let you know everything that he needs and he wants

901
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:11,320
Speaker 2: kind of override what you needed.

902
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,719
Speaker 1: Right, I want right. That's the end of that story, though,

903
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:16,279
Speaker 1: And we've got another one coming up.

904
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:19,280
Speaker 2: My mother in law treated me like I'm not family

905
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,760
Speaker 2: and my husband still took her side.

906
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:23,880
Speaker 1: Mama's boy, Mama's boy.

907
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 2: And this comes directly from the r slash Okay storytime

908
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:30,040
Speaker 2: subpred it I twenty eight female have been with my

909
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 2: husband thirty mail for eleven years. My mother in law

910
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 2: and I had a rocky start, but somehow managed to

911
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 2: get along and have a healthy relationship. A little over

912
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:40,879
Speaker 2: a year ago, my mother in law, brother in law,

913
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 2: and sister in law started a business without saying what

914
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 2: it is. I was the only one with any experience

915
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 2: in the field. I became the supervisor and ran the

916
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:52,000
Speaker 2: day to day and also found out I was pregnant

917
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 2: around the time of opening. By the way, this comes

918
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 2: from Junior Reactions sixty three eleven and if you want

919
00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:58,680
Speaker 2: to smite your own stories, go to the r slash

920
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 2: Okay storytime subpred it. I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, and we're

921
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 2: here to give good advice Gooflee. But we don't have

922
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 2: all the answers. We only know what we'd do, So

923
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,880
Speaker 2: let us know what you would do in the comments

924
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:11,400
Speaker 2: and o pieces. Well, fast forward to the past few months.

925
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:14,879
Speaker 2: I had my child, beautiful healthy baby and was off

926
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:17,480
Speaker 2: for two months due to health issues during delivery. My

927
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:21,319
Speaker 2: sister in law another supervisor, and another coworker promoted to

928
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 2: a supervisor as well. We're in charge of paperwork, new hires,

929
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 2: and all the day to day, including billing. I returned

930
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,400
Speaker 2: a month ago and I had to fix the entire

931
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:32,439
Speaker 2: billing aspect so they would get paid. I went through

932
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 2: all the paperwork to make sure they were in compliance.

933
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,919
Speaker 2: Fast forward to two weeks ago. My mother in law

934
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,600
Speaker 2: mentioned someone who wanted to apply and I told her

935
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:42,600
Speaker 2: I tried to reach out to them, but we still

936
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 2: had two other people who could help make that phone call.

937
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 2: First mistake, I should have just done it. I had

938
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,520
Speaker 2: forgotten about it due to them piling more things on

939
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 2: my plate and making sure things were done. This went

940
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:55,800
Speaker 2: on for a week. I was working sixty plus hours

941
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 2: a week before and after my leave. Sometimes things get forgotten,

942
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,800
Speaker 2: you know, we're all human after all. Well, my child

943
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 2: was sick and I needed to take her to the doctor.

944
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,320
Speaker 2: My mother in law and brother in law just needed

945
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 2: to talk to me about some things, and I asked

946
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,360
Speaker 2: them if it could wait until later that night and

947
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,400
Speaker 2: I would call them or the next day due to

948
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 2: my child having breathing issues. They said no and courtered

949
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,239
Speaker 2: me taking my child's car seat and what felt like

950
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 2: holding us hostage during this meeting. I had just spent

951
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:24,759
Speaker 2: a week making sure everything was up to date and

952
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:27,279
Speaker 2: doing other tasks they added on to me. So I note,

953
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:29,719
Speaker 2: postpartum has hit me really badly with this baby, and

954
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,240
Speaker 2: I was already struggling and chose to go back to therapy.

955
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 2: I left that night and didn't make it in time

956
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,319
Speaker 2: to take my child to the doctor, so I had

957
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:39,760
Speaker 2: to take the baby next day. It resulted in baby

958
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:42,440
Speaker 2: needing treatments to help. I sent them an email stating

959
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 2: I was resigning effective immediately due to the lack of

960
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 2: good and healthy communication and the way they spoke to

961
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 2: not only myself, but other employees we had whom I'd

962
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 2: been trying to keep the peace with so they wouldn't quit.

963
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:56,240
Speaker 1: Wait, so you're you're.

964
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:58,719
Speaker 2: Dealing with like a new baby and they're not even

965
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,840
Speaker 2: letting you go to a opointments new baby.

966
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 1: But the business comes before the baby, business come before.

967
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:07,840
Speaker 1: Maybe I've got You've got a business baby? Yeah, boss,

968
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 1: baby will that's crazy though, that's these are now.

969
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 2: Today, I get a phone call from an employee who

970
00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:17,799
Speaker 2: I grew close with, stating that mother in law has

971
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 2: been belittling them and talking a lot of trash about

972
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 2: me and how I'm a f up and now they

973
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:26,600
Speaker 2: have to fix everything. I'm so hurt that mother in

974
00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 2: law is doing the things she is, despite her begging

975
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 2: me to re enter the field so she could open

976
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 2: her doors. Her birthday parties this weekend, and I just

977
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 2: don't want to join. My husband tells me and I

978
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,400
Speaker 2: should just ignore her to keep the peace until after

979
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:40,880
Speaker 2: the holidays and the family trip we have coming up,

980
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:43,680
Speaker 2: which I also don't want to attend. I have really

981
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:46,920
Speaker 2: bad panic attacks and anxiety as it is, and can't

982
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:47,839
Speaker 2: mentally handle it.

983
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:49,840
Speaker 1: Hey, John Ogi host here, we're gonna get back to

984
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 1: this episode, but a quick three minute break of ads

985
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 1: from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

986
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 2: I think what you do, honestly, if you really feel

987
00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:01,040
Speaker 2: like you just can't, you know, do this? You say, ah, doctor,

988
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:05,480
Speaker 2: postpartum stuff. Oh there's some complications with baby. Oh babysick.

989
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 1: Lie? Yeah, why about now? What are they gonna say

990
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:10,399
Speaker 1: your baby baby don't matter?

991
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:12,560
Speaker 2: Yeah? I want to add that my sister in law

992
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:14,920
Speaker 2: is only an owner because they needed her to sign

993
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:16,880
Speaker 2: to open the doors and they don't give her a

994
00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 2: say in anything. And brother in law is just like

995
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 2: mother in law with all this. So should I attend

996
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:23,839
Speaker 2: her party? Or am I the ale if I don't

997
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:26,800
Speaker 2: attend somewhere, I don't feel welcome anymore. There is a

998
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 2: quick got it. My husband also works for a company,

999
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:31,240
Speaker 2: and I was already looking for another job before quitting.

1000
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:33,439
Speaker 2: Really did not like being in that field at all.

1001
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 2: While still helping people, I chose to continue looking at

1002
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:38,279
Speaker 2: fields I was in before returning to this one. I

1003
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:40,320
Speaker 2: do not fault my husband at all, as he stands

1004
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,200
Speaker 2: up for me all the time. To her, he knows

1005
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,400
Speaker 2: how I feel and supports my decision to leave and

1006
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 2: find something else. He's a great father and husband, so

1007
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 2: please don't come fro him. And there is an update.

1008
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 2: But before we get into it, do you have any

1009
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 2: thoughts about what you should do?

1010
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:55,680
Speaker 1: I mean, I think you might want to find a

1011
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:56,240
Speaker 1: new job.

1012
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's the first thing. You find a new

1013
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 2: job that actually supports so you needing to go to

1014
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 2: the doctor with your baby.

1015
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:05,120
Speaker 1: I just don't think you should work with these people.

1016
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:08,400
Speaker 1: You know you're in laws, clearly don't. Yeah, they just

1017
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 1: I don't know how they got to do this when

1018
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 1: it's like it's your tot, like you have a news,

1019
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:15,759
Speaker 1: your gray baby to take care of in.

1020
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 2: Their grandchild, their grandchild, and they don't care.

1021
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:23,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's above all. Else put yourself in a position

1022
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:24,799
Speaker 1: where you don't have to rely on these people for

1023
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 1: your you know, financial security. Yeah, and they can't hold

1024
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 1: your car seat hostage. Yeah.

1025
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 2: Crazy. So I attended with three out of four of

1026
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 2: our kiddos. One wanted dang out with his cousin he

1027
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:38,880
Speaker 2: didn't see often, so we let him. Well, mother in

1028
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 2: law stayed quiet about the business things today for the

1029
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:43,840
Speaker 2: most part, and I had another guest ask me about it,

1030
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:45,320
Speaker 2: So I guess, hope you didn't make the decision to

1031
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:47,239
Speaker 2: just kind of tough it out, okay, And I did

1032
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:49,200
Speaker 2: not lie and told their mother in law was a

1033
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,279
Speaker 2: big reason for me leaving, but family is hard to

1034
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,760
Speaker 2: work for, and that was it. I didn't go into detail.

1035
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:56,520
Speaker 2: I don't know if I would have done that. I

1036
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 2: guess it depends on your relationship with that person. If

1037
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:00,960
Speaker 2: I had a close relationship with person and they're like,

1038
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:02,560
Speaker 2: why'd you leave, and I'd be like, could I could

1039
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:04,760
Speaker 2: warp my mother in law? But if I didn't really

1040
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:06,799
Speaker 2: have a close relationship with the person and I had

1041
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:09,320
Speaker 2: come for the purpose of just keep the peace, I

1042
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 2: don't know if I would have specified I would have

1043
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 2: just been like I was looking for a new job.

1044
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:15,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can, just you can keep that closer to

1045
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:16,720
Speaker 1: the vest if you want.

1046
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 2: I drove separately from my husband and left early due

1047
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 2: to the baby not liking fireworks. Our other two kids

1048
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:25,279
Speaker 2: stayed to watch the fireworks show with my husband. My

1049
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 2: oldest texted me stating that mother in law was making

1050
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 2: comments about her son not being there and that he

1051
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:33,479
Speaker 2: should be attending these functions and needs to not play

1052
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:36,560
Speaker 2: video games so much and be outside more. Granted, we

1053
00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:38,799
Speaker 2: don't take our children over often as it's a bit

1054
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:40,919
Speaker 2: of a drive to see their home, so they don't

1055
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 2: see them often, but more than my son gets to

1056
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 2: see his cousin.

1057
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:46,719
Speaker 1: But they all see them often, but more than my

1058
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:47,239
Speaker 1: son gets.

1059
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, so they don't see them often, but more

1060
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 2: than my son gets to see his cousin different side

1061
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:53,400
Speaker 2: of the family. I also want to add that he

1062
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:55,920
Speaker 2: doesn't play video games unless his chores are done, and

1063
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,319
Speaker 2: it's not a weekday. Very rare that he gets to

1064
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:00,799
Speaker 2: on the weekends due to us having plans are just

1065
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:03,080
Speaker 2: hanging out as family. I brought this up to my

1066
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 2: husband tonight and he got snippy with me. He stated

1067
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 2: that my oldest not as biological kid is just starting

1068
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 2: stuff at this point, she does know that I'm not

1069
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:12,880
Speaker 2: talking to mother in law right now and I'm just

1070
00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:15,359
Speaker 2: being civil. She's a preteen and eaves drops a lot

1071
00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:18,160
Speaker 2: and gets told to stay out of adult conversations daily.

1072
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:20,400
Speaker 2: I try my best to make sure my kids aren't

1073
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 2: around if I need to vent about mother in law

1074
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:24,959
Speaker 2: or brother in law out of respect and the fact

1075
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,239
Speaker 2: she's still a child. That was it for me. I

1076
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,640
Speaker 2: told him, if these comments are true and he's blaming

1077
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 2: my child for telling me lies, that I'm done with

1078
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 2: this relationship, I will file for divorce.

1079
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:38,319
Speaker 1: WHOA. I do think it's kind of weird to blame

1080
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:41,080
Speaker 1: a kid. Yeah, I agree. I just feel like that was.

1081
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:42,720
Speaker 2: Like about of the blue for me in the story,

1082
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 2: but it seems like it's not.

1083
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 1: So out of the blue for Repete. Yeah, there had

1084
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:48,480
Speaker 1: to have been something mess going on there. Little backstory.

1085
00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 2: I grew up in a house where I told the

1086
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:53,279
Speaker 2: truth about things and my mother always took my stepdad's

1087
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:55,759
Speaker 2: side and claimed I was a liar daily. I was

1088
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 2: also mistreated as a child. Story for another time. Anyway,

1089
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:02,800
Speaker 2: I am Urie said, not only my husband, but his mother.

1090
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:05,200
Speaker 2: I don't want to throw almost twelve years with this

1091
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:07,960
Speaker 2: man down the drain over this. I know he's frustrated

1092
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,520
Speaker 2: and dorm between his mother and his family here with us,

1093
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:13,080
Speaker 2: but I'm not labeling my child as a liar either.

1094
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:15,799
Speaker 2: I am not comfortable with my children being around them.

1095
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,000
Speaker 2: I really need advice because I don't want him blowing

1096
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 2: up at me for bringing this situation up again. I

1097
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,560
Speaker 2: can be a broken record when something is bothering me,

1098
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:24,960
Speaker 2: but I guess that's part of my anxiety and not

1099
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 2: ever being heard growing up. I've been working with my

1100
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:30,440
Speaker 2: therapist on these issues because I recognize them and know

1101
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:33,040
Speaker 2: I need to work on it. There is another update,

1102
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:35,960
Speaker 2: which we'll just storm right through. I've started a new

1103
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 2: company and my old employees are still in contact with me.

1104
00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:40,799
Speaker 1: Okay, cool, all right, nice, we did that.

1105
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,240
Speaker 2: I talked to one or two daily because we became

1106
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:46,200
Speaker 2: friends while working together. Anyway, this past week, one of

1107
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 2: my friends we can call her Nora, called me very

1108
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:51,480
Speaker 2: upset that the company is not paying her for hours

1109
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:54,879
Speaker 2: worked mandatory classes and has taken a week off due

1110
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 2: to some issues. I support her one hundred and ten percent,

1111
00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,360
Speaker 2: and so does her fiance. Yesterday, she called me because

1112
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:03,240
Speaker 2: an underage employee, let's call her Beth, who I'm friends

1113
00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 2: with but not close with, is being given a few

1114
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 2: weeks to find a new job. Well, I had just

1115
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:10,760
Speaker 2: stated that if it were me, i'd file unemployment because

1116
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:13,640
Speaker 2: they're not giving Beth a reason to be fired. Essentially

1117
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 2: that I never told her to actually do it, just

1118
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:18,000
Speaker 2: what I would do. There is a little bit left

1119
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:19,440
Speaker 2: with the story. Well, I feel like we learned another

1120
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:22,040
Speaker 2: that of information. Yeah, and ope, he never even told

1121
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:23,920
Speaker 2: us if she's divorcing. We didn't, We didn't go.

1122
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 1: We still don't know that. I don't know. I don't know.

1123
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:28,879
Speaker 1: I think that might have just been like a I think.

1124
00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 2: He keeps going on this I'm gonna divorce.

1125
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:33,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's very clearly very protective of the children.

1126
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think maybe it's like heightened emotions.

1127
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:36,360
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1128
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:38,799
Speaker 2: Uh, don't you dare accuse my daughter of being a liar.

1129
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:41,839
Speaker 1: If it's not his child as well, biological.

1130
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 2: Child, which I think it's good that you're protective of

1131
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:46,040
Speaker 2: your daughter. But you know, hopefully we can work through

1132
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:49,920
Speaker 2: that and come to some sort of conclusion and compromise. Yeah,

1133
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:54,920
Speaker 2: it doesn't involve having divorced hopefully. Yeah, I think in

1134
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 2: all of this the children have to come first.

1135
00:51:56,760 --> 00:51:58,920
Speaker 1: I would say kids always. The kids got to come

1136
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 1: first in all and all this situation. I agreed.

1137
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:05,479
Speaker 2: Well, Nora told Beth this information, and I'm not sure

1138
00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 2: if Beth told mother in law that I set it.

1139
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 2: I don't work there anymore, so if a friend comes

1140
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:11,600
Speaker 2: to me, I'm going to give insight on what I think. Well,

1141
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:13,680
Speaker 2: now mother in law is calling me and I refuse

1142
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:15,880
Speaker 2: to answer as I have a day full of meetings

1143
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:18,399
Speaker 2: with my new company. I've told her this, and she's

1144
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 2: continuing to call me. I don't know at this point, like,

1145
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:21,719
Speaker 2: do not disturb her?

1146
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, get her mut her something.

1147
00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:27,279
Speaker 2: Anytime she's contacted me lately, it's been questions about her

1148
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:29,400
Speaker 2: company that she doesn't know the answer to. So I

1149
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:32,439
Speaker 2: stopped responding or answering. Am I wrong for this? No,

1150
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:33,479
Speaker 2: you don't work for her.

1151
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:35,000
Speaker 1: You don't You don't work for you don't have a

1152
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:35,880
Speaker 1: good relationship with her.

1153
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 2: I don't know why she's talking to you.

1154
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:39,160
Speaker 1: Well, it sounds like some of that stuff you said

1155
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 1: might have made its way back to her, and now

1156
00:52:41,680 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 1: she wants to, you know, really out about it. So

1157
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:46,840
Speaker 1: another reason why we might just keep that a little close.

1158
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:50,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. Just we don't have to, you know,

1159
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:52,920
Speaker 2: we just don't make comments about her to people that

1160
00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:54,680
Speaker 2: you think might bring it back to her.

1161
00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1162
00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:57,480
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story, and that's the

1163
00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 2: end of this episode. So if you love us, make

1164
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 2: sure to subscribe.

1165
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:05,360
Speaker 1: We love you and see you. Demora