1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:05,080 Speaker 1: I feel like there's timeless tattoos, Like there's certain things 2 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:06,800 Speaker 1: like if you told somebody who's live, laugh love, you 3 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,080 Speaker 1: can make a joke and be like, hey, I got 4 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:08,400 Speaker 1: this here. 5 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 2: You know what's crazy? 6 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,720 Speaker 3: Do you know what I used to want tatted on me, 7 00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:13,720 Speaker 3: which I'm so glad I never. 8 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 2: Got tattoed, and it would have aged me like a bitch, bitch. 9 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:18,440 Speaker 3: I would have looked fifty five right now if I had, 10 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,599 Speaker 3: you know, the little masks, the laughing mask and the 11 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:23,200 Speaker 3: sad man. 12 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,240 Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, bitch. 13 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 3: I like, you know how she used to be that 14 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,760 Speaker 3: shit is sold or the paw prints. 15 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,479 Speaker 2: What if I got the paw prints like Eve, like 16 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:35,080 Speaker 2: I wanted to be. 17 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,920 Speaker 4: No, we all have one, because we all have one. 18 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 2: What Oh my man told me. 19 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,479 Speaker 4: He was like, this tattoo you got on your arm, 20 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:42,640 Speaker 4: it tells me the age. 21 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,920 Speaker 2: No it doesn't, no, no, no, but. 22 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:48,520 Speaker 4: The style of this tattoos does show Oh your young, bitch, 23 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:50,200 Speaker 4: your I'm going to look young. 24 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 1: It's not it's the fact that we gott this. You 25 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,320 Speaker 1: know that the new tattoos are like. 26 00:00:56,520 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 2: She's trying to talk shit, look young. Our tattoos gets 27 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 2: thirty five. 28 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,120 Speaker 4: This wasn't the minimalist, cool gold fucking Williams bird. 29 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 3: You know they do the tiny tat down first off, 30 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 3: and look at the tiny tats. 31 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 4: See because you got but I'm. 32 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 3: A young bitch. Put the little tiny hand tat. Damn 33 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 3: this make us look old? 34 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:20,320 Speaker 4: Oh wait this time? Do we need to cover her 35 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 4: being in a Buddha Huh? The thirty year olds still 36 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 4: have the fucking tiny tiny No. 37 00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:31,199 Speaker 3: And then you know what the thirty nine year old's 38 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,000 Speaker 3: got the tramp stamps. I'm so glad I never got 39 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 3: a tramp stamp, bitch. Sorry for all the holes out 40 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 3: there with the tramp stamps. Them things milk bruh. I'm 41 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 3: so and my hold the tribal ones them is them 42 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 3: is terrible. 43 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 4: I would have had to do laser. 44 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:49,200 Speaker 2: Hold on you. Ready? Do you know what tattoo? I 45 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:49,920 Speaker 2: used to also want? 46 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 4: What? 47 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 2: Bitch? A cupcake on my ass cheek? 48 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 3: I'm so glad, bitch I had it drawn up. 49 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 2: I'm so glad I. 50 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 3: Did put a cupcake on my ass cheeks? 51 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 4: Got the stars leading from the neck. 52 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 2: Not you wanted to be Rihanna and Chris Brown? I 53 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 2: did you know what that wouldn't look so bad? 54 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 4: Now because you can cover it. 55 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 3: A part of me wants a couple more little necktaps, 56 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 3: like I love my little necktap. 57 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:15,239 Speaker 2: I want a couple more. 58 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:17,959 Speaker 1: Actually, hold on the one on your shoulder. It's the funt. 59 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 1: The font shows you it's older. 60 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 3: Calm down, No, this is cursive, bitch, because the kids 61 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:24,240 Speaker 3: don't know how cursive. 62 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:26,079 Speaker 2: Cursive now says I'm an old bitch. 63 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,359 Speaker 4: Bitch is not old time loyalty has ventured. 64 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 2: Loyalty basic shout out the brook. 65 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 4: Wait, do you have a what's your back the line? 66 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,639 Speaker 2: So don't do that? Yes, that's my Angelina Jolie and 67 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 2: I got it in Highland? Is that old two? 68 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:44,000 Speaker 4: I don't know. 69 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 2: Is that our old tattoo? 70 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:46,840 Speaker 4: Yo? I swear we. 71 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 1: Did a whole assessment of this ship. We were out 72 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 1: one night and we went to a pool party. He's like, yo, girl, 73 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,959 Speaker 1: look look at all the pass you on. The agent 74 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:55,400 Speaker 1: is the one on the back of my neck and 75 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: it used to be covered with my hair. 76 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,760 Speaker 2: Bitch just says love me hate me Now. 77 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:04,240 Speaker 1: That is song shit, bro, I got it at seventeen. 78 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:06,520 Speaker 4: No, this is worse. I got this at fourteen. 79 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:09,480 Speaker 3: You did you start a damn you had that shit 80 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 3: fucking but you made it pink. 81 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 4: You a girl. 82 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 3: She all hurt my space. She is to pour her 83 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,320 Speaker 3: pants down to show that star David. You know what's 84 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 3: even funnier. When we were younger. When we were younger, 85 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 3: she used to be like, she has to talk about 86 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,800 Speaker 3: my tattoos. She used to be like, classic bitches has 87 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,840 Speaker 3: small tattoos. Then we reconnected and this bitch got the 88 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 3: same tattoo as me. 89 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,320 Speaker 1: Actually, if I could get rid of any of them, 90 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 1: it would be this probably, oh the biggest sweat. 91 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:36,400 Speaker 4: I like small shit. 92 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 1: Now you liked small shit Back then. I was going 93 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 1: through a rebellion's phase. I was getting rested a lot, 94 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 1: and I just felt right, bitch. 95 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 3: I had my whole ribs and half my back tatted 96 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 3: by the time I graduated. 97 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,840 Speaker 1: Matter of fact, everybody in the Patreon comments, I want 98 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 1: you all to send us your fucking worst tattoo. 99 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, please, I would love to know. 100 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:54,680 Speaker 1: Do you know how I know my niggas got one 101 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 1: that's an age tattoo. 102 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 2: He has a lion on his hand and he's not 103 00:03:58,920 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 2: a leo. 104 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:03,080 Speaker 3: I was like, yo, that was a fel that could 105 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 3: be his spirit anhimitch, that's not everybody. 106 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 4: Niggas loved getting lions. 107 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:11,839 Speaker 1: Bitches love getting snakes and butterflies, and niggas love getting lions. 108 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:12,880 Speaker 2: Like, don't do me. 109 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 3: I have butterflies on my leg, bitch. You know what 110 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 3: else I've realized? You know what else? 111 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 2: I realized? 112 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,279 Speaker 3: I didn't know that I tatted a prostitute on me. 113 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 3: I have a gay show on my back. I didn't 114 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 3: know Geishas were prostitutes. 115 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,039 Speaker 2: Well, I didn't know. I just thought it was the 116 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:28,839 Speaker 2: Asian culture. 117 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 4: I used to Marilyn Monroe tatted on me. Thank god 118 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 4: I didn't. 119 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 2: That would have been terrible. 120 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,039 Speaker 1: I just wanted like the little you remember when people 121 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 1: were getting the mole and the lip and the eye. 122 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:40,920 Speaker 4: Do you remember that back of the day? 123 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 2: Did you ever know? You didn't? I was gonna say, 124 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,040 Speaker 2: have you ever tatted a man's name initials? 125 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 4: No? But what's funny about you saying this? 126 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 1: I was doing the Justus podcast with Jacob and Amber 127 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 1: and she got five people's names on her. 128 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 2: That's ridiculous and never been taken out on a date. 129 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 2: How do you get there? 130 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 3: Dog? 131 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 4: And you know what, maybe even die more. One of 132 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 4: them is a woman. And she was like, we was cool. 133 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 1: But I'm not gay dog ever's fucking funny. And I 134 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,160 Speaker 1: was really sitting there. 135 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 4: Like five names. 136 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 2: Okay. 137 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 3: She was like, y'all, me and my ex I used 138 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,280 Speaker 3: to always every time we got drunk. 139 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:19,039 Speaker 2: I used to say, let's go get matching. 140 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:22,360 Speaker 3: Tests, but didn't want initials, didn't want so I was like, 141 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,800 Speaker 3: I'll get the Queen of Spades and you get. 142 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 4: Why are fucking tattoos that? Why is that? Bitch? 143 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:29,560 Speaker 2: I'll like spades. 144 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,039 Speaker 1: Queen of Spades is the fucking name when you're like 145 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:35,280 Speaker 1: a swapping Oh apparently I wanted. I just wanted to 146 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:39,920 Speaker 1: maybe ant Horne tests, not the. 147 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 3: You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon, 148 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,799 Speaker 3: but why it's up there. Tap in for the full, 149 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:51,760 Speaker 3: uncut and way naster episodes over on Patreon. Go to 150 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 3: patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlike all the messy, 151 00:05:56,600 --> 00:06:01,719 Speaker 3: t wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else, 152 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,919 Speaker 3: and now here's You've Got Decisions. 153 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 4: If you would like to have us answer your questions. 154 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:11,159 Speaker 4: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or 155 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 4: a terrible throufle guess what You've got Decisions. 156 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 3: You've Got Decisions. Welcome guys to another episode of You 157 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 3: Got Decisions. 158 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 2: It's your girl Medeb. 159 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,600 Speaker 3: Weezy is not on this episode, but she is here 160 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:37,920 Speaker 3: with us in spirit because per huge, one of y'all 161 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:44,479 Speaker 3: got a complicated situation and y'all want our advice for 162 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 3: some reason. Like y'all know, we don't got it all 163 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 3: figured out. 164 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:51,720 Speaker 2: Baby, We just we don't. We don't, But so many 165 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,680 Speaker 2: of y'all have been following us for years. You've seen 166 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,600 Speaker 2: our growth, especially mine. 167 00:06:57,120 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 3: That y'all know, we done been through enough to where 168 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:04,560 Speaker 3: we kind of could probably hopefully get you on the 169 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 3: other side of your dilemma. As always, if you want 170 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 3: us to read your scenario, your problem, head on over 171 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,640 Speaker 3: to our email and drop us a line at Decisions 172 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:25,800 Speaker 3: Pod at gmail dot com. Okay, well, this one's a 173 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 3: little bit of a long one this week, but we're 174 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 3: gonna get into it. The subject line is crazy, my husband, 175 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 3: my cousin and the secret I can't undo bitch what 176 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 3: in the snaps? All right, Well, let's get into it, Hi, 177 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 3: Bandy and Wheezy. I mean going back and forth about 178 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 3: writing this because it makes me look messy, but I 179 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 3: need outside perspective. 180 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,680 Speaker 2: Please keep me anonymous, y'all bitches. No, we keep you 181 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:59,560 Speaker 2: holes anonymous. Come on, now, we're gonna put you out 182 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 2: there like that anyway. Let's get into it. 183 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 3: I'm a thirty four year old married woman. My husband 184 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 3: and I have been together for ten years, married for six. 185 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 3: We have two kids under five. Oooh, this seemed like a. 186 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 2: Riddle on paper. Our life looks solid. 187 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 3: He's a good father, financially responsible, and everyone in my 188 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 3: family loves him. 189 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 2: Here's where it gets ugly. Oh boy. 190 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 3: Last year, my younger cousin, she's twenty seven, moved to 191 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,560 Speaker 3: our city for a job and didn't know anyone. 192 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,319 Speaker 2: I offered for her to stay with us temporarily. 193 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 3: Bitious given cousin faith, she ended up living with us 194 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 3: for about four months. During that time, my marriage was 195 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,720 Speaker 3: already in a weird place. My husband and I weren't 196 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:51,080 Speaker 3: really connecting. We were co parenting roommates. I felt invisible. 197 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,200 Speaker 3: He works long hours, and when he was home, he 198 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:55,560 Speaker 3: was on his phone or gaming. 199 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 2: We weren't having sex much. 200 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,200 Speaker 3: I tried to talk to him about it, but it 201 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 3: always turned into him saying he was stressed or tired. 202 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:07,680 Speaker 3: One night, my cousin and I were drinking wine after 203 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 3: everyone went to bed. 204 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:11,920 Speaker 4: Whoa, this is go? 205 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:12,840 Speaker 2: Whoa, whoa, whoa. 206 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:18,720 Speaker 3: We started talking about relationships, sex fantasies. She's very open 207 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,839 Speaker 3: and confident in a way that I'm not. It felt 208 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:26,520 Speaker 3: good to feel seen and interesting again. Long story short, 209 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 3: we ended up kissing and it didn't stop there. For 210 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:39,320 Speaker 3: about two months, we were secretly sleeping together while she 211 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 3: was living in my house. It felt intense and intoxicating 212 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,959 Speaker 3: and wrong all at the same time. I've never been 213 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,720 Speaker 3: with a woman before. I didn't even know I wanted that, 214 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 3: but with her, I felt desired in a way I 215 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:56,200 Speaker 3: hadn't in years. Then everything blew up. My husband found 216 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:59,840 Speaker 3: some messages on my phone. I initially tried to downplay it, 217 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 3: but he confronted my cousin and she admitted everything. He 218 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,440 Speaker 3: was furious, not just because I cheated, but because it 219 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:11,200 Speaker 3: was with my own family member under his roof. She 220 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,960 Speaker 3: moved out immediately. My family has no idea what really happened. 221 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,960 Speaker 3: They just think there was quote unquote tension and that 222 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 3: living together didn't work out. Now here's the complicated part, bitch, 223 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:26,960 Speaker 3: You didn't already gave us the complicated part. One My 224 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,840 Speaker 3: husband wants to work it out, but he throws it 225 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:30,920 Speaker 3: in my face constantly. 226 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 2: He says he feels emasculated and humiliated. Two. I still 227 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:39,680 Speaker 2: think about my cousin, not just sexually. I miss her. 228 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 3: I feel like I lost my best friend and my 229 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:46,840 Speaker 3: lover in one. Three I don't know if this was 230 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,920 Speaker 3: just situational or if I'm suppressing part of my sexuality. 231 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:55,080 Speaker 3: And four family gatherings are coming up, and I have 232 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,080 Speaker 3: no idea how we're supposed to exist in the same 233 00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,920 Speaker 3: room pretending nothing happened. 234 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:01,160 Speaker 2: I feel guilty. 235 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 3: I betrayed my husband and put my cousband, and put 236 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,840 Speaker 3: my cousin not cousband, and put my cousin in a 237 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:12,280 Speaker 3: terrible position. But I also can't ignore that I felt 238 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:16,680 Speaker 3: alive for the first time in years. Is this something 239 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 3: a marriage can realistically come back from? And how do 240 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,960 Speaker 3: I even begin to untangle whether I'm bisexual, bored, or 241 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,520 Speaker 3: just self sabotaging. Please help me get some clarity before 242 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 3: I blow my whole life up for real. Signed confused 243 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:35,000 Speaker 3: and complicated. It should have been confused and complicated with 244 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:41,959 Speaker 3: my cousin, because girl, okay, let's go to your four parts. 245 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 3: My husband wants to work it out, but he throws 246 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 3: it in my face constantly. 247 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,240 Speaker 2: He says that he feels. 248 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 3: Emasculated and humiliated. Girl, he has every right to feel 249 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:58,360 Speaker 3: that way. I would say, if he wants to work 250 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:04,319 Speaker 3: it out, you need to not only suggest maybe couple's therapy, 251 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 3: maybe it's time for you to go see the lady, 252 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 3: because not only are you questioning your sexuality right now, 253 00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:18,679 Speaker 3: what the fuck pushed. 254 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,439 Speaker 2: You to hunch on your cousin. 255 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,200 Speaker 3: Because you weren't getting the attention from your husband and 256 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:30,080 Speaker 3: this was a person that came in and talk to 257 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 3: you over some glasses of wine. Like, I truly feel 258 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 3: like there needs to be some level of accountability. 259 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 2: And I know it's difficult with women in network, but 260 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 2: where was your brain wired to. 261 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,600 Speaker 3: Where not only did you step out on your husband, 262 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 3: you stepped out on your husband with your female cousin. 263 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:54,199 Speaker 2: Bitch. 264 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,400 Speaker 3: I read the goddamn title of this and was not 265 00:12:56,480 --> 00:13:01,600 Speaker 3: expecting where this went. So there's a lot of layers here, 266 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 3: and you bring that up between the second and the 267 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,679 Speaker 3: third dilemma that you're having. 268 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,480 Speaker 2: You still think about your cousin, Well, yeah, there was 269 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:12,280 Speaker 2: a friendship there. 270 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,199 Speaker 3: Clearly there was intimacy and you didn't get to end 271 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:21,040 Speaker 3: it on your own volition, right. Your husband found the messages, 272 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:24,320 Speaker 3: and your cousin admitted to everything that was happening, So 273 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:30,319 Speaker 3: you could have answered possibly these questions or now felt 274 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 3: like this was your best friend or your lover, or 275 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:40,440 Speaker 3: questioned your sexuality if this side excursion ended due to 276 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 3: other emotions coming out or anything else. This was your 277 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 3: first woman. You were in a weird place with your husband, 278 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 3: and so this is the thing, right, Oh. 279 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,679 Speaker 2: Y'all gonna be like witch. I know you didn't just 280 00:13:57,720 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 2: say that. 281 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 3: But according to the ten, normally women cheat emotionally first. 282 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 3: So I don't know how the other people in your 283 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,839 Speaker 3: life were showing up. I don't know how many friends 284 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 3: you have. I don't know who you can actually talk 285 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:16,720 Speaker 3: to right now. But if you're saying that your husband 286 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:20,520 Speaker 3: was too tired or too stressed to talk to you, 287 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 3: the fact that your cousin came in and literally. 288 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 2: Just lend an ear to you could have literally been 289 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:29,720 Speaker 2: all you needed. Now. 290 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 3: I don't know about the kouchie swapping, the scissoring, the 291 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,840 Speaker 3: I don't know about all that, but what I do 292 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:42,560 Speaker 3: know is you expressed that you didn't feel like you 293 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 3: could speak to your husband. Y'all weren't even having sex 294 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:49,800 Speaker 3: that much anymore. To me, it seems like you genuinely 295 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:50,280 Speaker 3: were just. 296 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,200 Speaker 2: You just wanted attention, and. 297 00:14:55,920 --> 00:15:00,800 Speaker 3: Unfortunately you got to a place where almost didn't matter 298 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:05,800 Speaker 3: who even gave you this attention so much soap to 299 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 3: where you skewed all the lines of a platonic relationship 300 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,120 Speaker 3: and an intimate relationship. 301 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,240 Speaker 2: With your cousin. 302 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 3: Now, the fourth one says that family gatherings are coming up, 303 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 3: and you have no idea how you're supposed to exist 304 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:33,560 Speaker 3: in the same room. Bitch, like the family member that 305 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:38,240 Speaker 3: she is. That's it, Like the family member that she is. 306 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:43,880 Speaker 3: You have to you must get away from viewing this 307 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 3: woman as a lover because in no way, shape, form. 308 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:48,280 Speaker 2: Or fashion. 309 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,080 Speaker 3: Well, I see, I don't even know what level of 310 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,760 Speaker 3: incests this is. I don't even know what cousin she is, 311 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,920 Speaker 3: first cousin, second cousin, third cousin, because yeah, sometimes that matters. 312 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 2: But to know that you are genuinely helping out a 313 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 2: family member and. 314 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:08,360 Speaker 3: You your your depression or lack of attention or lack 315 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 3: of intimacy led you to fornicating with your family member, 316 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:20,000 Speaker 3: there's a lot of work that you have to do. 317 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 2: Do you have to sit with. 318 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 3: Not only the fact that you betrayed your husband, not 319 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,640 Speaker 3: only the fact that he has every right to feel 320 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:38,920 Speaker 3: humiliated and emasculated, but you have to figure out where 321 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,200 Speaker 3: your emotions lie with a relationship that is not only 322 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:45,640 Speaker 3: one hundred percent taboo, but it has also one hundred 323 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:46,640 Speaker 3: and ten percent weird. 324 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 2: Bit you a weird bitch, just a little bit. 325 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,200 Speaker 3: I think that this is going to take a lot 326 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 3: to come back from. It's interesting because your last question 327 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:05,560 Speaker 3: was how do I even begin to untangle whether I'm bisexual, bored, 328 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:11,520 Speaker 3: or just self sabotaging. Do you want to work this 329 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:17,679 Speaker 3: out with your husband? I think that's a question that 330 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:21,480 Speaker 3: so many of us have when we're at the crossroads 331 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:25,960 Speaker 3: of whether we stay with our partner or not. Is 332 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,960 Speaker 3: this where I want to be a year from now? 333 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,600 Speaker 3: If we can think about where we want to be 334 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,640 Speaker 3: in terms of our job careers, in terms of planning 335 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,440 Speaker 3: maybe international trips we want to go on, you do 336 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 3: have to start thinking. 337 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 2: That way in your relationships, because it's going to be 338 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:45,880 Speaker 2: hard work. 339 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:51,400 Speaker 3: Do you genuinely feel like this is where you envision yourself, 340 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,199 Speaker 3: This is who you envision yourself being with even just 341 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,320 Speaker 3: one year from now, because this is going to take 342 00:17:57,359 --> 00:18:02,280 Speaker 3: some time to get over. Once you figure out if 343 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:06,159 Speaker 3: this is the person that you do want to stay with. 344 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 3: There's two You either want to stay with him or 345 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,000 Speaker 3: you don't. If you decide you want to stay with 346 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:15,840 Speaker 3: this man, you have to be willing to hold that 347 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:21,200 Speaker 3: mirror up and he is allowed to feel every way 348 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:26,720 Speaker 3: he feels about how your actions affected him and impacted 349 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:31,920 Speaker 3: him and essentially possibly detoward this relationship. You have to 350 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,000 Speaker 3: be able to own up to that, and you can't 351 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 3: sit there and want to blame him for the lack 352 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,120 Speaker 3: of a ten. And that's the thing. 353 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 2: When you don't like women cheat. 354 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,600 Speaker 3: They might want to point out the way that when 355 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:54,520 Speaker 3: you stop showing up, you cannot do that. You have 356 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,760 Speaker 3: to be willing to do the work and sit with 357 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,840 Speaker 3: yourself and figure out. 358 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:02,240 Speaker 2: What made you who crossed the line. So hunching on 359 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:06,520 Speaker 2: your female cousin, mail. 360 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:09,360 Speaker 4: I just. 361 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:16,040 Speaker 3: This is this is Cristy, this is crazy. I also 362 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:22,679 Speaker 3: do want to look up just some things when you 363 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:27,000 Speaker 3: so I'm looking up currently because incests I believe is 364 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 3: just with like siblings. 365 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:42,919 Speaker 2: I think with your cousin, what is your cousin. Okay, 366 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:49,000 Speaker 2: so it is, I'm lying, So it is. It is. 367 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 3: Incest incests is sex between close relatives, such as a brother, sister, 368 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:59,080 Speaker 3: or parent. This typically includes any kind of sexual activity 369 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:07,679 Speaker 3: between people in contingenuity, blood relations, and sometimes those related 370 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:12,720 Speaker 3: by lineage. It is condemned and considered immoral in many societies. 371 00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:18,879 Speaker 3: Luckily with this one, the two you're both women, but 372 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,119 Speaker 3: this can also lead to an increased risk of genetic 373 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:31,360 Speaker 3: orders and children in case of pregnancy. Now ironically, incess 374 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 3: taboo is one of the most widespread of cultural taboos, 375 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,440 Speaker 3: and is both in present and past societies. 376 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:40,280 Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. I'm not sure. 377 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 3: Where it's accepted today. Like I think you also might 378 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:52,800 Speaker 3: need to if she was so quick to disclose this 379 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:58,439 Speaker 3: to your husband. But you're wondering about what the next 380 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:04,240 Speaker 3: family reunion is gonna be. Bitch, who from the family 381 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:09,320 Speaker 3: did she tell? Here's a crazy thing. You say you 382 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,720 Speaker 3: miss your cousin, And I don't know if this is 383 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:16,160 Speaker 3: the right advice to give or not. Y'all if you're 384 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:21,160 Speaker 3: on Patreon dropping the comments, if I'm doing too much 385 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:21,919 Speaker 3: by saying. 386 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:26,840 Speaker 2: This, I think you need to talk to your cousin. 387 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,439 Speaker 3: I think there needs to be some level of a 388 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 3: whyfuck you told my husband? 389 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:35,240 Speaker 2: But b. 390 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,440 Speaker 3: Can we This is where you may need to ask 391 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 3: a request of her. Can we keep this between us? 392 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,280 Speaker 3: Here's the crazy thing, But you don't need some foul 393 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,880 Speaker 3: shit to where you gotta hope your cousin or your 394 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:55,080 Speaker 3: husband don't tell nobody cuz. 395 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:59,560 Speaker 2: It's gonna make you look cristy to all the people. 396 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,840 Speaker 2: But outside of. 397 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:07,480 Speaker 3: Keeping your marriage, this is some mess, and you might 398 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,560 Speaker 3: need to have a conversation with both of them, like 399 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:14,280 Speaker 3: separately but also together. 400 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,040 Speaker 2: Y'all know, I'm all here for it. 401 00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:21,520 Speaker 3: Let's figure out what happened, and like everybody might just 402 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 3: need to talk, because everybody's gonna have a different story, 403 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:30,439 Speaker 3: and you need to somehow. You didn't have control of 404 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,880 Speaker 3: your sexual desires, you didn't have control of your emotions, 405 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:37,159 Speaker 3: you didn't have control of your depressiveness, you didn't have 406 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,520 Speaker 3: control of them cootcha lips. 407 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 2: Or the mouth. 408 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:45,280 Speaker 3: But in some way, in order to get past this 409 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,760 Speaker 3: and get through this, you need to try to have 410 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:52,199 Speaker 3: some level of control of where this shit gets to 411 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 3: and who the fuck here's this? 412 00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:01,560 Speaker 2: And from what horse's mouth? This is ghetto? 413 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:10,800 Speaker 3: And though we are non kink shamers around here. Maybe 414 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:18,199 Speaker 3: this is real ghetto, real ghetto. Anyways, I wish you 415 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,439 Speaker 3: the best of luck. Would love an update on however 416 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,360 Speaker 3: this goes. Again, if you choose to be with your husband, 417 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:32,040 Speaker 3: this is a long journey ahead of very long journey. Nonetheless, again, 418 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:36,960 Speaker 3: if you want to see the video of all of 419 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,480 Speaker 3: our you got Decisions, make sure you join us over 420 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 3: on Patreon. 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Make sure you also go ahead 430 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,240 Speaker 2: and get your copy. 431 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:15,440 Speaker 3: Your hardcover copy, No holds barred to dual manifesto, Sexual 432 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 3: Exploration and Power. And please note, baby, the soft cover 433 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 3: drops that's right, paperback version is coming to you this June. 434 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:27,600 Speaker 2: Say posted for that. 435 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,600 Speaker 3: You can also already pre order that soft cover right 436 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 3: now on Amazon or wherever you get books. Anyways, thank 437 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 3: you so much for tuning in. You've got decisions. Bye.