WEBVTT - The Fifth Hour: A Holiday Special Worth a Damn

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<v Speaker 1>Kabooms.

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<v Speaker 2>If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes

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<v Speaker 2>a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants

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<v Speaker 2>of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He

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<v Speaker 2>treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the

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<v Speaker 2>rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to clearinghouse of

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<v Speaker 2>hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth Hour

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<v Speaker 2>with Ben Mahler starts right now.

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<v Speaker 1>Huh ho, oh, many Christmas and welcome. We are in

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<v Speaker 1>the air everywhere. It is a special edition, a holiday edition.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, it is Fifth Hour special. Don't worry. This is

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<v Speaker 3>something that a lot of listeners requested. Where can we

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<v Speaker 3>hear the Malard Militia Christmas songs all in one place? Well,

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't want to spend hours and hours compiling these songs.

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<v Speaker 3>But little trans bear and see here. I'll tell you

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<v Speaker 3>what happened. So Ben wakes up early, I set my alarm,

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<v Speaker 3>I wake up early. We record the mail bag. As

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<v Speaker 3>I'm producing it, I accidentally hit the delete button on

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<v Speaker 3>my keyboard. Wow, gone, I wiped it clean. First time

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<v Speaker 3>that's ever happened in these four plus years I've been

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<v Speaker 3>a part of this podcast, but never fear as Ben

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<v Speaker 3>goes back to take a nap. I think about it.

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<v Speaker 3>How can I fix this early on a Sunday morning.

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<v Speaker 3>In a previous mail Bag episode, I think it was

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<v Speaker 3>Alf the Alien Opiner, who requested that we put all

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<v Speaker 3>the Mallard Militia Christmas songs together on one episode. Hell yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>this is gonna be fun. It's also gonna be a

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<v Speaker 3>lot of work for me this morning, but it's my

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<v Speaker 3>fault for being a tired sob and hitting the delete button.

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<v Speaker 3>Out of the ashes rises the Christmas Phoenix.

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<v Speaker 4>Have yourself a mailar, a little Christmas. Let your hot

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<v Speaker 4>take shot.

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<v Speaker 5>From now on.

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<v Speaker 4>Your shot in Freuda.

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<v Speaker 6>Will be mine.

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<v Speaker 4>Have yourself a mailer, little Christmas, make a game show play.

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<v Speaker 7>From now on.

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<v Speaker 8>It's golden tickets all the way.

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<v Speaker 4>You.

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<v Speaker 8>We are swollen lexicons, verbal doctor guns and snows.

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<v Speaker 4>Sports friends. Have a drink to us. The Militia buss

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<v Speaker 4>is yours through the years. We all listen together.

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<v Speaker 8>As the Grimlins crows.

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<v Speaker 1>Having a shining mor cony upon your all.

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<v Speaker 8>So have yourself a mather little Christmas nice, and have

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<v Speaker 8>yourself a mather little Christmass.

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<v Speaker 9>No, here comes malle Claus, Here comes male clause right

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<v Speaker 9>down Malaclaus Lane. He's got hot takes and lodi akins.

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<v Speaker 6>He's on the air again.

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<v Speaker 9>He de gar see Justin Cooper Raider Robert two to

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<v Speaker 9>eight days a week.

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<v Speaker 10>County's coming to you. Because Mali Claus comes to nine.

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<v Speaker 10>Here comes male clause. Here comes made clause, right down

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<v Speaker 10>Malleclaus Lane.

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<v Speaker 9>He's got the best callers for such John Hours.

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<v Speaker 6>Holding on the line, Menser story, Chris and Houston.

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<v Speaker 10>Is born Room Blair shot at them in a agains.

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<v Speaker 10>That's he thanks to Tandy in Montana. Because Mali Claus comes,

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<v Speaker 10>tam Nice. Here comes Mala clause. Here comes Mala clause

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<v Speaker 10>right down Melanclose Lane.

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<v Speaker 6>He loves lepers Rams and DoD Jersey.

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<v Speaker 11>Bashing Lebron again Mona Lawzia.

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<v Speaker 6>Where Redo game Jos, the Inscident, advice, Lie and the Deforre.

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<v Speaker 10>Download the podcast is Mali Claus comes night.

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<v Speaker 6>Everybo got run over by jot.

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<v Speaker 12>Go go back to prison.

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<v Speaker 6>Christmas Sea.

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<v Speaker 12>You can see there's no such things crumble.

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<v Speaker 6>We drink the bride and.

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<v Speaker 13>He believe.

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<v Speaker 14>She's been snorting too much better.

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<v Speaker 12>Friary Bay, dude, not the gold.

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<v Speaker 1>But her curlough.

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<v Speaker 12>It was over, so she stumbled out of the door

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<v Speaker 12>into the snow. When they found her Christmas morning at

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<v Speaker 12>the scene of the attack, there were big cans on her.

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<v Speaker 2>John did and long moa mauns on going back.

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<v Speaker 10>And bank God run over by her.

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<v Speaker 6>John did.

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<v Speaker 12>Going back to prison Christmas Eve.

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<v Speaker 5>You can say there's no such.

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<v Speaker 12>Thing as calm a bed, drinky Brian, he believed.

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<v Speaker 7>Now, we're all so proud of Bryan.

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<v Speaker 6>He's been taking it so well.

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<v Speaker 12>He's sitting there watching his squaking drink the beer and

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<v Speaker 12>whiskey as is a swell. It's not Christmas without.

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<v Speaker 15>Heyok by.

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<v Speaker 7>All the family screams of showering.

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<v Speaker 6>And we just can't help.

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<v Speaker 12>But wonder why did the prison ever let him out?

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<v Speaker 16>I find God run over by her.

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<v Speaker 12>John didn't going back to prison Christmas Eve. You can

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<v Speaker 12>say there's no such thing. It's calm, be drinking bry

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<v Speaker 12>And he believed.

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<v Speaker 17>Fin Lead's girl, fin leads girl, we will never meet

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<v Speaker 17>man Titetos girlfriend, wepter offer Bee, Finley girl, Sinle's girl,

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<v Speaker 17>we will never meet ment. I tell us those girlfriends

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<v Speaker 17>wept their offers Bee Daddy, you.

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<v Speaker 18>Know headye Garcia and Coop Donlup Cooper Roberto Flores is

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<v Speaker 18>simply superb.

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<v Speaker 19>But we call the most bovyating of all.

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<v Speaker 6>Ben to the theat.

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<v Speaker 5>The Alexus nuts roasting on an open fire doc like

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<v Speaker 5>sipping on some peas, Angry Bill. It's a cheap.

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<v Speaker 20>Little thrill from Tammy and Montana.

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<v Speaker 7>Don't you know everybody knows the callers to the Malor Show.

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<v Speaker 5>Will it help to make this season right? Each and

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<v Speaker 5>everyone our a bundle of fun? You'll find it hard

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<v Speaker 5>to sleep tonight.

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<v Speaker 2>You know that.

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<v Speaker 7>I went away.

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<v Speaker 5>Beer drinking. Brian's on his own, but that's okay. He's

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<v Speaker 5>got the Mallard team to be his friends with Eddie Coop,

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<v Speaker 5>de Loop, Roberto and Big Ben and so weed Man

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<v Speaker 5>Hippies just a memory and others I simply shall not name.

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<v Speaker 5>The Malord Militia would just like to wish you Merry Christmas.

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<v Speaker 4>To you.

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<v Speaker 6>Nahod out then.

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<v Speaker 1>Ground Lin straw.

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<v Speaker 14>Walls CHILKINI is made gay budget good stew fish.

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<v Speaker 18>Chime with games of.

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<v Speaker 6>Notes, cool Bitch.

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<v Speaker 4>Cream, Tall.

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<v Speaker 6>Cool fis cream and tallis.

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<v Speaker 10>Side and nine ben Jella stinks.

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<v Speaker 15>Too, ranting wood stiff figes.

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<v Speaker 17>My molt fillly sound in it long.

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<v Speaker 6>By issue.

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<v Speaker 15>By ball.

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<v Speaker 6>Plays in a poll.

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<v Speaker 15>Lea is loose in a poll, sn.

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<v Speaker 6>Die without being.

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<v Speaker 15>Crown straight.

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<v Speaker 6>Long skin.

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<v Speaker 21>Brod fas song but you knows Listen, yell.

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<v Speaker 7>It would be a blue Christmas without in the ballet.

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<v Speaker 7>It would be a blue.

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<v Speaker 22>Christmas without being ballet with a man I contell, Christmas

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<v Speaker 22>would be sad my friend, no dream, no stock gomes.

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<v Speaker 7>No Christmas cards to cent It would be your blue

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<v Speaker 7>Christmas without Bend balo.

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<v Speaker 6>It would be a blue.

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<v Speaker 22>Christmas's without Bend ballot.

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<v Speaker 7>Chain to band soft, kind and friendly. Please don't give

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<v Speaker 7>us riding family sat up.

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<v Speaker 5>Please give us bend ballot for Christmas.

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<v Speaker 18>Oh, the weather outside is.

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<v Speaker 1>Frightful, but malor is so delightful.

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<v Speaker 7>So turn on your radio.

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<v Speaker 19>Listen to the Ben Mahlor's show, Wow, Roberto finds drops Ford.

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<v Speaker 18>Droppin' who the Loop always keeps things hoppin.

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<v Speaker 5>And Eddie's a total pro.

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<v Speaker 20>Listen to the Ben Mahler's Show.

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<v Speaker 18>But they only come on that night. F s R

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<v Speaker 18>won't allow it during the day and the call screeners

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<v Speaker 18>filled with fright You never know what the callers will say.

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<v Speaker 20>Old felexis in gay apparel is decked out for Christmas.

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<v Speaker 20>Carrol's his belt buckles made of missile tooad.

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<v Speaker 5>Listen to the ben Man.

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<v Speaker 7>Show.

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<v Speaker 11>Oh oh ho, malan militia will tune in to listen,

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<v Speaker 11>will be by Bler polish it it listened?

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<v Speaker 6>But do you we ever know.

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<v Speaker 11>The best issue on the ben Mail Show?

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<v Speaker 16>Alexis the seven drag Queen only yes, seven times? Actually,

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<v Speaker 16>I think say if you count the one that gross,

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<v Speaker 16>one of the Alexis rivals jealous him to an octor on,

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<v Speaker 16>but he decided to flee. Now, Roxanne's a royalty.

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<v Speaker 23>Think can the marlor meet and greet and fine? Scott

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<v Speaker 23>came to say, the alexis and so I've got no sight?

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<v Speaker 23>Will you sit on my plunger tonight now that the.

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<v Speaker 16>Song is over and it's time to go to sleep.

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<v Speaker 16>The alexis the seven tote track Queen. I think you're

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<v Speaker 16>all right by me.

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<v Speaker 7>Hey, little buddy, this sounds really good. What do you

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<v Speaker 7>say we lived up a little bit more?

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<v Speaker 6>Answer flexus.

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<v Speaker 16>The seven dote track Queen only has sevens. Actually, I

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<v Speaker 16>think it's a if you can't the one that gross

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<v Speaker 16>one of Alexis rivals challenged you to an updick gun,

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<v Speaker 16>but he decided to flee. Now raxand's a royalty.

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<v Speaker 23>Then kill Danla meet and greet and blinde. Scott came

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<v Speaker 23>to see Alexis and so I've got no sight. Will

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<v Speaker 23>you sit on my plungey tonight, now that.

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<v Speaker 16>The song is over and it's time to go to

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<v Speaker 16>sleep for Alexis to seven toad track, Queen, I think

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<v Speaker 16>you're all right.

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<v Speaker 24>By me, Lad John, dear.

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<v Speaker 16>Them, Max and Alas on Christmas Eve, you can say

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<v Speaker 16>there's no.

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<v Speaker 6>One quite like Calpline. But as for the Milsha, we believe.

0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:18.600
<v Speaker 25>She'd been drinking whiskey and white cloud. You're drinking brine,

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<v Speaker 25>said enough to drive. But when she put the key ignition.

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<v Speaker 16>Eight tiny ring.

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<v Speaker 20>Dude, it not so fun.

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<v Speaker 24>When they found her Christmas morning, passed out next to

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<v Speaker 24>the accident.

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<v Speaker 1>Itwas empty beer cans in her cooler and her breath

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<v Speaker 1>was freaking heavy of pepper.

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<v Speaker 21>Man Mallard got.

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<v Speaker 24>Rear ended on deer driving Max and Mallers you can

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<v Speaker 24>say it really wasn't his fault. He never took ahead

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<v Speaker 24>of Justin's wee. Now the hem is on the table.

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<v Speaker 1>And some banana Creepie.

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<v Speaker 3>Blaire go the turkey and some stuffing.

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<v Speaker 2>Regina brought at the tug and don't as wine.

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<v Speaker 24>It's got Christmas without trauma.

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<v Speaker 25>That held the game of malder dash.

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<v Speaker 12>You seek Adie Guy Sierra's lifeline, turning positive asos into cash.

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<v Speaker 26>Mallard got reinded by John Deere driving back to Manortown

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<v Speaker 26>Christmas Eve. You can see he's picking up the orders

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<v Speaker 26>and they're all from the supermarket Steve key Change.

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<v Speaker 24>Mallard got really ended by it on there.

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<v Speaker 26>Driving back Smolts on Christmas Eve, you can see he's

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<v Speaker 26>in the air and everywhere.

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<v Speaker 6>As should we believe.

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<v Speaker 2>Christmas sucking?

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<v Speaker 27>Ben German Malard should be on your radio. He's got

0:22:34.240 --> 0:22:37.200
<v Speaker 27>a bad time slot. Buddy, don't get hot because he

0:22:37.480 --> 0:22:44.919
<v Speaker 27>likes it, don't you know? Edy Garcia's been Malor's main sidekick.

0:22:45.760 --> 0:22:49.080
<v Speaker 27>He's a Steeler fan. Hard to understand. He plays with

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<v Speaker 27>Charger thundersticks. There's got to be some kind of magic

0:22:54.320 --> 0:22:59.040
<v Speaker 27>rolled up in Coop's great big blunts because hook line

0:22:59.160 --> 0:23:04.800
<v Speaker 27>and Sinker. He believes all the Democrats dumb stunts. Benis

0:23:05.240 --> 0:23:10.280
<v Speaker 27>the men is cooking bombagun NEWSHD Night Talk a little

0:23:10.440 --> 0:23:14.440
<v Speaker 27>smack about had Denverse crapping Cooper Loop is ready to fight.

0:23:15.720 --> 0:23:19.720
<v Speaker 27>Dumpity dump dump dumpity dump, the Mad Hatter of Sports

0:23:19.840 --> 0:23:26.080
<v Speaker 27>chatter dumpity thump dump dumpany thump dump, the bannering Broadcaster.

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<v Speaker 27>We have the great Sambony. We've got the liar liar.

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<v Speaker 27>Oh Roberto is the chef, He's.

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<v Speaker 5>Got the hat.

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<v Speaker 27>He's not the tender Rony pro Ben's callers are freak show.

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<v Speaker 27>Some might be on LSD. We love some calls and

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<v Speaker 27>we hate some calls. Genium Medford rest in peace. There's

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<v Speaker 27>got to be some kind of magic in Coop's favorite bong.

0:23:55.359 --> 0:23:59.000
<v Speaker 27>He smokes because he has the screen a ton of

0:23:59.240 --> 0:24:04.960
<v Speaker 27>calls from a lot of crazy folks. Money Ball Mailer

0:24:05.800 --> 0:24:10.440
<v Speaker 27>is the mogal Mischief. If his boss is ever listened

0:24:10.480 --> 0:24:12.600
<v Speaker 27>to the show, we're going to miss him on the

0:24:12.720 --> 0:24:17.840
<v Speaker 27>late night shift. Dumpedy dump dump dumpy dump dump, The

0:24:17.880 --> 0:24:23.680
<v Speaker 27>Chasm of Sorry Chasm Dumpy dump dump, dumpy dump dump.

0:24:23.840 --> 0:24:25.920
<v Speaker 18>Bennie the Brazen.

0:24:34.680 --> 0:24:47.920
<v Speaker 13>Phelei snaved peleas snabby D Phelei snappy d Phelea snappy

0:24:50.080 --> 0:24:54.200
<v Speaker 13>please Snabby Dues please SNUBBYD.

0:24:58.920 --> 0:25:01.440
<v Speaker 18>I want to wear you you a mail of Christmas.

0:25:02.000 --> 0:25:06.000
<v Speaker 19>I wanna wish you a mailor Christmas. I wanna wish

0:25:06.119 --> 0:25:09.720
<v Speaker 19>you a mail of Christmas from the bottom for my heart.

0:25:11.280 --> 0:25:15.200
<v Speaker 19>I wanna wish you a malor Christmas. I wanna wish

0:25:15.320 --> 0:25:18.639
<v Speaker 19>you a mail or Christmas. I wanna wish you a

0:25:18.840 --> 0:25:21.880
<v Speaker 19>man of Christmas from the bottom for my home.

0:25:23.560 --> 0:25:26.040
<v Speaker 13>We wanna wish you a mail of Christmas.

0:25:26.600 --> 0:25:28.520
<v Speaker 19>You wanna wish you a mail.

0:25:28.359 --> 0:25:29.480
<v Speaker 18>A best Tom.

0:25:29.680 --> 0:25:32.560
<v Speaker 19>We wanna wish you a mail of Christmas from the

0:25:32.640 --> 0:25:37.119
<v Speaker 19>motto for my heart. Do we wanna wish you a

0:25:37.280 --> 0:25:40.720
<v Speaker 19>bell of Christmasy. You wanna wish you a mel a

0:25:40.920 --> 0:25:44.920
<v Speaker 19>Richmas to We wanna wish you a mel of Christmas.

0:25:44.520 --> 0:25:46.840
<v Speaker 6>From the bottom o my heart.

0:25:49.560 --> 0:25:53.400
<v Speaker 3>Racist all right, it took a long time to find

0:25:53.480 --> 0:25:57.200
<v Speaker 3>all these songs. Hope you're enjoying. So I'll give you

0:25:57.240 --> 0:26:00.720
<v Speaker 3>a sneak peek of what next Friday's podcast will be like.

0:26:01.280 --> 0:26:04.240
<v Speaker 3>There is a year end special that Ben in the

0:26:04.280 --> 0:26:07.959
<v Speaker 3>production staff put together, and I'm going to take clips

0:26:08.000 --> 0:26:11.480
<v Speaker 3>from that, some of the classic drops that only exist

0:26:11.560 --> 0:26:15.040
<v Speaker 3>in my personal library. I'm going to do one special

0:26:15.119 --> 0:26:18.520
<v Speaker 3>on the twenty six to give Ben just one day off.

0:26:18.880 --> 0:26:22.720
<v Speaker 3>He deserves it right now. I had to include from

0:26:22.920 --> 0:26:26.960
<v Speaker 3>earlier this year, Ben reacting to Luca getting traded to

0:26:27.000 --> 0:26:30.000
<v Speaker 3>the Lakers, because as you know, Ben is a closet

0:26:30.119 --> 0:26:30.760
<v Speaker 3>Lakers fan.

0:26:31.480 --> 0:26:36.920
<v Speaker 1>Yes to the unbelievable. A night that I still can't

0:26:36.960 --> 0:26:40.680
<v Speaker 1>believe happened, the Dallas Mavericks gave away the face of

0:26:40.760 --> 0:26:45.400
<v Speaker 1>the franchise, Luca. We were completely gobsmacked. On the Ben

0:26:45.520 --> 0:26:49.160
<v Speaker 1>Mahler Show. We did a special emergency Mallard monologue as

0:26:49.280 --> 0:26:53.320
<v Speaker 1>the Mavericks gave away Luka Doncik to the La Lakers.

0:26:53.400 --> 0:26:55.720
<v Speaker 1>Let's go back to that night and take a listen

0:26:55.760 --> 0:27:02.480
<v Speaker 1>to how that went down. The mega mega mega mega

0:27:02.640 --> 0:27:06.760
<v Speaker 1>mega trade, Luca goes from the MAVs to the Lakers.

0:27:06.800 --> 0:27:09.600
<v Speaker 1>For Anthony Davis, those are the headliners. We focus on

0:27:09.680 --> 0:27:15.280
<v Speaker 1>the headliners. So I've got Puddy, Sandra Bullock, and Return

0:27:15.560 --> 0:27:20.120
<v Speaker 1>of the Jedi, and we will combine all of these

0:27:20.240 --> 0:27:25.080
<v Speaker 1>things together and we will follow our nose is wherever

0:27:25.160 --> 0:27:27.240
<v Speaker 1>our nose takes us. And I got a big schnaz,

0:27:27.320 --> 0:27:29.240
<v Speaker 1>I got a really large nas so I will just

0:27:29.320 --> 0:27:32.080
<v Speaker 1>go wherever the nose takes us. So my first thought

0:27:32.160 --> 0:27:35.159
<v Speaker 1>on this is when you're when you're grading, It's in

0:27:35.200 --> 0:27:37.880
<v Speaker 1>the mall Ord report card when it comes to grading trades,

0:27:38.960 --> 0:27:44.480
<v Speaker 1>and we are the industry leader in grading transactions. Absolutely,

0:27:44.560 --> 0:27:50.879
<v Speaker 1>nobody is more trusted, nobody in overnight delivery of a

0:27:51.080 --> 0:27:56.440
<v Speaker 1>report card on transactions on this show in the middle

0:27:56.480 --> 0:27:59.959
<v Speaker 1>of the night on Fox. Nobody has this kind of information.

0:28:00.520 --> 0:28:04.520
<v Speaker 1>So on the Malor report Card, the Malor report Card

0:28:04.720 --> 0:28:08.080
<v Speaker 1>on the big trade over the weekend, Dallas and La

0:28:09.040 --> 0:28:12.760
<v Speaker 1>the Lakers reluctantly, I will give them a B minus

0:28:13.320 --> 0:28:15.119
<v Speaker 1>on the trade. I will give them a B minus.

0:28:15.240 --> 0:28:19.000
<v Speaker 1>The Mavericks get an F, and then I don't know

0:28:19.080 --> 0:28:21.280
<v Speaker 1>that I can go lower? Is there anything lower than

0:28:21.280 --> 0:28:23.760
<v Speaker 1>an F? I would like to go lower than F?

0:28:24.640 --> 0:28:27.639
<v Speaker 1>Is there anything beyond F? Can I go beyond F?

0:28:28.720 --> 0:28:29.080
<v Speaker 6>Anyway?

0:28:30.119 --> 0:28:34.560
<v Speaker 1>LA also picked up a couple of roster span players

0:28:34.560 --> 0:28:37.640
<v Speaker 1>in the trade, Maxi Kleibah, who hit a game winning

0:28:37.720 --> 0:28:42.920
<v Speaker 1>shot against them a while back, and Mark, the much

0:28:43.040 --> 0:28:46.840
<v Speaker 1>traveled Mark Keith Morris. He also goes to the Lakers.

0:28:46.880 --> 0:28:50.920
<v Speaker 1>It is a foo bar situation. It is I'm a

0:28:51.040 --> 0:28:56.920
<v Speaker 1>chumpion to still process the transactionan the math ain't mathing

0:28:57.600 --> 0:29:01.440
<v Speaker 1>on this one on many many levels, many many many levels.

0:29:01.440 --> 0:29:06.160
<v Speaker 1>They're Lakers were just handed on a silver platter a

0:29:06.320 --> 0:29:11.520
<v Speaker 1>Luka Doncic, and they didn't have to bid against anyone.

0:29:13.720 --> 0:29:19.160
<v Speaker 1>Why why would you do that. That's malfeasance, that's bad management,

0:29:19.440 --> 0:29:23.760
<v Speaker 1>that's incompetence, that's wrong on many levels. Why would you

0:29:23.880 --> 0:29:27.400
<v Speaker 1>do that? Wouldn't you fire the general manager if you

0:29:27.520 --> 0:29:29.719
<v Speaker 1>owned the team and that is how they did business,

0:29:30.280 --> 0:29:33.280
<v Speaker 1>I think you would. But it's like, oh, yeah, we're

0:29:33.320 --> 0:29:36.960
<v Speaker 1>gonna call one team and we'll just give you the

0:29:37.040 --> 0:29:39.800
<v Speaker 1>buy now price and that's it, and you don't have

0:29:39.960 --> 0:29:42.920
<v Speaker 1>to bid and just submit an offer and we'll make

0:29:42.960 --> 0:29:47.320
<v Speaker 1>it happen. Yeah. Now, back when the NBA actually had leadership,

0:29:47.400 --> 0:29:49.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, guys with hair on their chest and balls

0:29:49.800 --> 0:29:52.640
<v Speaker 1>and things like that, David Stern would have vetoed this trade.

0:29:52.760 --> 0:29:55.320
<v Speaker 1>He vetoed the Chris Paul trade. Now he would have

0:29:55.400 --> 0:29:58.560
<v Speaker 1>vetoed this trade. Also said, well, that's not We're not

0:29:58.640 --> 0:30:02.040
<v Speaker 1>going to do that. But it's playing with puddy. The

0:30:02.120 --> 0:30:07.000
<v Speaker 1>whole thing's playing with putty putty explosives. We're talking ballistics.

0:30:07.040 --> 0:30:09.760
<v Speaker 1>Here is what we're talking about, plastic explosives. Now, Luca,

0:30:10.200 --> 0:30:13.840
<v Speaker 1>he turns twenty six later this month, Happy birthday. There's

0:30:13.880 --> 0:30:16.680
<v Speaker 1>some great cake, great bakeries in Los Angeles. You love

0:30:17.080 --> 0:30:20.240
<v Speaker 1>the bakries in LA and he was traded for a

0:30:20.400 --> 0:30:25.800
<v Speaker 1>player who is near the end of his athletic prime,

0:30:26.040 --> 0:30:30.880
<v Speaker 1>who has the superpower of missing games. His nickname is

0:30:30.920 --> 0:30:35.240
<v Speaker 1>street clothes Anthony Davis. That's his nickname. He is more

0:30:35.400 --> 0:30:38.760
<v Speaker 1>known for not showing up the work than showing up

0:30:38.800 --> 0:30:41.360
<v Speaker 1>the work. And that's who the Dallas Mavericks had to

0:30:41.400 --> 0:30:46.800
<v Speaker 1>get their hands on. Why I don't get it, Davis

0:30:46.800 --> 0:30:49.280
<v Speaker 1>turns thirty two in the month of March. Now, these

0:30:49.320 --> 0:30:51.959
<v Speaker 1>aren't your daddy's Mavericks. That is fair to say. Anybody,

0:30:52.000 --> 0:30:54.840
<v Speaker 1>it still thinks. And not everyone heard the news, but

0:30:55.080 --> 0:30:59.120
<v Speaker 1>Mark Cuban, who was a fanboy. I mean getting the

0:30:59.160 --> 0:31:01.400
<v Speaker 1>Mark Cuban's got a lot of issues there. But Cuban's

0:31:01.400 --> 0:31:03.920
<v Speaker 1>a fanboy, and he owned the Mavericks for a long

0:31:04.000 --> 0:31:06.080
<v Speaker 1>time and he sold out. Everyone's got their price, and

0:31:06.400 --> 0:31:09.520
<v Speaker 1>Magic Christian, Everyone's got their price. Mark Cuban sold out

0:31:09.760 --> 0:31:13.800
<v Speaker 1>for three point five billion dollars. And that's the cost

0:31:13.920 --> 0:31:16.480
<v Speaker 1>for Mark Cuban to allow this to happen. If Mark

0:31:16.560 --> 0:31:20.840
<v Speaker 1>Cuban still owned the Dallas Mavericks, controlling interest of the Mavericks,

0:31:21.720 --> 0:31:24.800
<v Speaker 1>he would not have done this. This was not a possibility,

0:31:26.080 --> 0:31:30.200
<v Speaker 1>it was it. But that's not the case here. And Cuban,

0:31:30.720 --> 0:31:33.480
<v Speaker 1>even if he felt he had to trade Luca for

0:31:33.600 --> 0:31:37.920
<v Speaker 1>whatever reason, would have rather sent him to an expansion

0:31:38.040 --> 0:31:42.880
<v Speaker 1>franchise in Papa, New Guinea than send him to the Lakers.

0:31:43.720 --> 0:31:46.000
<v Speaker 1>There's no way that would have happened. And of course

0:31:46.000 --> 0:31:47.520
<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of dumb people that don't know that

0:31:47.600 --> 0:31:50.200
<v Speaker 1>Mark Cuban sold out. He's a sellout. He sold the team.

0:31:50.760 --> 0:31:53.720
<v Speaker 1>Good for him three point five billion, and he's just

0:31:53.800 --> 0:31:55.560
<v Speaker 1>kind of there as a like a make a wish

0:31:55.680 --> 0:31:57.920
<v Speaker 1>thing when he travels with the Mavericks and all that,

0:31:58.160 --> 0:32:01.160
<v Speaker 1>it's like, hey, we don't own the team, I don't

0:32:01.200 --> 0:32:03.320
<v Speaker 1>control anything, but I get to sit by the bench

0:32:03.400 --> 0:32:06.920
<v Speaker 1>and the players like me and all that. Yeah. Wow,

0:32:08.280 --> 0:32:11.840
<v Speaker 1>so new regime, new blood, and you get what you get.

0:32:11.920 --> 0:32:15.560
<v Speaker 1>You get what you get now, Page two. What makes

0:32:15.720 --> 0:32:21.040
<v Speaker 1>the Lukka the Luca trade so unique? What makes it

0:32:21.120 --> 0:32:25.760
<v Speaker 1>so unique? Well, this is like Sandra Bullock's Academy Award

0:32:25.840 --> 0:32:30.080
<v Speaker 1>winning performance in the old movie The blind Side. The

0:32:30.320 --> 0:32:34.440
<v Speaker 1>blind Side. Listen, if someone had called up this talk

0:32:34.520 --> 0:32:37.760
<v Speaker 1>show and said, hey, Ben, I'd like to make a trade.

0:32:38.560 --> 0:32:43.320
<v Speaker 1>How about the mavericksand Luka Doncic to the Lakers? For

0:32:43.560 --> 0:32:47.520
<v Speaker 1>Anthony Davis in some spare parts, some pocket lint to

0:32:47.600 --> 0:32:51.880
<v Speaker 1>be named later. We would have said something along the

0:32:51.960 --> 0:32:55.200
<v Speaker 1>lines of, well, what bath salts are you sniffing right now, sir,

0:32:55.960 --> 0:32:58.600
<v Speaker 1>and please go to the mini bar, and we would

0:32:58.600 --> 0:33:00.880
<v Speaker 1>have hung up on them. That what we would have done.

0:33:01.680 --> 0:33:04.360
<v Speaker 1>A video game would have rejected that trade, would have said, no,

0:33:04.560 --> 0:33:06.040
<v Speaker 1>that's not a proper trade.

0:33:06.320 --> 0:33:07.320
<v Speaker 24>No, no way.

0:33:07.400 --> 0:33:09.720
<v Speaker 1>A twenty twenty nine first round pick. That's all you're

0:33:09.720 --> 0:33:12.880
<v Speaker 1>getting in terms of future draft picks and scratcher tickets.

0:33:12.960 --> 0:33:16.840
<v Speaker 1>One scratcher ticket in twenty twenty nine. That's eight. But

0:33:17.000 --> 0:33:21.800
<v Speaker 1>here we are. Here, we are the unthinkable, the unimaginable.

0:33:22.800 --> 0:33:27.360
<v Speaker 1>It's the first time in NBA history that two raining

0:33:27.480 --> 0:33:30.480
<v Speaker 1>all NBA players have been traded for each other at

0:33:30.520 --> 0:33:34.560
<v Speaker 1>mid season, as the trade deadline's not until later this week,

0:33:35.120 --> 0:33:38.400
<v Speaker 1>but the trades, the big ones have already happened at

0:33:38.440 --> 0:33:41.040
<v Speaker 1>this point in the modern era. This is the craziest trade,

0:33:41.080 --> 0:33:44.520
<v Speaker 1>the Luca trade of them all, and the thing that

0:33:44.760 --> 0:33:48.920
<v Speaker 1>stands out though in the world we're living in right now,

0:33:49.040 --> 0:33:52.840
<v Speaker 1>twenty four to seven round the clock and the business

0:33:52.920 --> 0:33:56.440
<v Speaker 1>of basketball, the currency of basketball. I've had this conversation

0:33:56.560 --> 0:33:58.640
<v Speaker 1>with many people over the years who are in this

0:33:59.360 --> 0:34:03.280
<v Speaker 1>world and the rumor, and I ran a gossip site

0:34:03.360 --> 0:34:05.880
<v Speaker 1>for years before you know, I was working here at

0:34:05.920 --> 0:34:08.120
<v Speaker 1>the same time. But I ran a rumor site for

0:34:08.600 --> 0:34:12.719
<v Speaker 1>many many years. And the rumor is more important than

0:34:12.760 --> 0:34:17.680
<v Speaker 1>the reality, Like the rumor gets people talk. And what

0:34:18.560 --> 0:34:23.960
<v Speaker 1>happened with this particular trade here? Uh, you know, it's

0:34:24.200 --> 0:34:27.440
<v Speaker 1>it's stunning because there was not even a peep.

0:34:32.040 --> 0:34:32.960
<v Speaker 13>Got a murder. I gotta go